Noirscape

He’d redecorated. I could tell by the way that it was decorated at all. The meat was in the fridge, the tables were surrounded by the chairs, and everything had the overlying theme of Lovecraftian Horrors. Again.

I... questioned the sudden normalcy. The decór wasn’t exactly Discord’s style, was it?

Actually, it made perfect sense. The presence of electrical appliances was extremely rare in the show itself; obviously they didn’t exist yet in the past. The locals must’ve been scared out of their minds by the strange machines that didn’t respond to their magic, or showed images of horrors they simply couldn’t comprehend.

In other words, normal human technology that I found delightful. I think this is why he and I fit so well, discounting the times we were at odds. Yes, I know it’s contradictory. But such was Discord’s nature.

We were talking again, but it seemed he didn’t quite want my help anymore. I understood why. In part, it was the Red Miles I used suddenly and without warning, but in other it was the casual way I’d killed an eaten a pony. I’m not quite sure, but it might have made him a little unnerved.

He told me much about his exploits, even elaborating on the “discording” of ponies, and sharing stories of how he’d made them miserable.

We shared quite a laugh over it.

You seem surprised. What, did you truly believe me to be some sort of a “tragic hero” that got himself started down a Path of Darkness through overwhelming and “righteous goody-woody” use of Dark Majyyks? Hell naw. I’ve always been a villain. I just haven’t had a chance to show it much, you know?

Although, one detail he mentioned did surprise me. Apparently, he had gotten to a Doctor Whooves at one point. I have no way of knowing if he was the one behind the actual Discorded Whooves, or if the one I knew was a completely different Whooves. Frankly, I preferred the latter option. Who knows how much I could possibly screw over his timeline by my mere presence? Best not to think of it.

We even had a mock-competition on armwrestling. I think it may have spiralled out of an “one-handed” joke. Needless to say, he won.

Of course he won. I was an one-armed guy with the powers of an unbeatable demon, and he was a Spirit of Chaos. There was no question.

No, of course I wouldn’t have won...

All these arguments don’t matter, because they are the ones that make sense! This is exactly how he works! And if you try to keep him trapped in logic, you’ll end up with a mental paradox. Madness!

Madness...

Where was I?

Chaos. Right. It’s a force difficult to understand under the best circumstances, and it’s not always Discord’s usual brand of randomness that goes under that name.

It turns out I have plenty of chaos within to make for a pal with Discord. Not a good friend, of course; Chaos friendly with chaos does not a good combination make.

We parted once again on amiable terms, and I went out for a flight. There were still features of my new form to learn, and considering my rather comfortable nature, I didn’t want to go run around every time I felt hunger, could I? Stocking up was needed, and while Discord’s conjurations were delicious, they weren’t particularly good in the nutritional area. Meaning?

I needed cattle.

No, of course I wasn’t going to start kidnapping ponies again! I have standards, you know. Never kill someone unless you are absolutely sure you can get away with it, remember? I figured it worked the same for kidnapping. Unless I picked somepony who wouldn’t be missed, I had to be careful.

Which is why I stole a bunch of cows.

I teleported them near my cave, farm and all. Not too close, though; it wouldn’t do to have my location sniffed out that simply, eh? Besides, it’s more likely for them to blame Discord than me. After all, I supposedly only ate ponies, didn’t I?

While Discord was known for his disruptions in the peace and harmony. Olden days, golden days and all that.

Oftentimes I would find myself looking at the alien landscapes, thinking of ways to improve upon them. Too little fire and brimstone, too much pink and blue. While I admit it was an aesthetic combination, it was also kind of the point. Discord’s randomness only had so much to improve on. Too much, and it would lose his distinctive style.

My cows were a wonderful source of food. A single one could feed me for days! ...I don’t know why I said that. Maybe I’m getting hungry? It would certainly explain a sudden fit of randomness... Never mind. It’s not important.