Das Vierte Reich

Many, many years ago, I had made a monumental mistake. Though I might be exaggerating a little, I had thought it was a good idea to get out of bed. I now wonder if I made the same mistake getting out of bed this morning. Well, 'crawling out of some deep foxhole that was dug by my own pride and hooves in the ground the night before' would be more accurate. Kind of. I can't recall the last time I actually saw a proper bed, let alone sleep in it. Must have been years ago. Has to have been. Well, anything representing a suitable bed to sleep in without something small crawling all over you is a 'proper bed'.

I hope this long journey wasn't for nothing.

Shaking my head, I tried to force the exhaustion-fuelled thoughts from my mind. They aren't important. Not now. Not anymore. I focused on the new problem at hoof, which is going to be harder than at fir thought. It's been that way ever since I reached this new continent, a little over a month ago, I believe. It might have been longer. I think that finding a new place to sleep in this 'mythical motherland' (as many dreamers back home would call it), this Equestria, a land full mostly of ponies of all three species (which is interesting), ruled by two Princesses in a diarchy, a thought impossible back in my homeland, or my own continent for that matter, would be a good start. They called the rulers, these... Princesses, Celestia and Luna Serena, 'fallen angels'. Because that somehow made sense to them. I guess it must be due to the fact that immortal mares reigning a fairy-tale kingdom on the other side of the world, with 'immortal' powers mind you, made any more sense than a plate of mashed potatoes attempting to eat a Erde's face off. Then again, I had actually observed that moment with my own eyes, so anything is believable at this point, especially at the more... 'interesting' parts that I had witnessed.

But nothing seems like a myth right now. The door to the right of me, with it's foggy light seeping from the building's windows like a pub in Manechester, looks as real as the muddy dirt beneath my lightly throbbing hooves. It's very real. Walking for hours on end does give you cramps, as I have learned the hard way. Various faint sounds of semi-drunken merriment from within drift through the wooden walls to my ears, a sound that was a little too similar to home. With the rain pelting my back like making money rain (I don't think a single pony would ever get that joke), or more like a jealous ex-marefriend pelting your face with mutilated parts of your now-dead dog, I'd rather be inside than out. But it may not be that simple. Maybe.

Above all other various reasons, plain and simple curiosity has dragged me halfway across the world to this forsaken land, a journey which took the better half of a decade. Though there was a bigger reason behind it all, one that I want to forget. Then again, even before the Third War broke out, I always wanted to live in a foreign land. Curiosity got the best of me, I guess. That lust to know had taken me so far into the east that I was now mostly (but not entirely by coincidence) in that mysterious part of the world that was traditionally thought of as being to the west of the Fatherland. Or as I like to call it, the Motherland. It doesn't really matter. Although to be fair, it might or might not have actually been because I had... have a psychotic hero complex that totally justified excessive violence towards bad ponies since, in all honestly, excessive violence was usually by far your best option when dealing with crazy, evil bastards that dared call themselves 'ponies'. Then again, most of them ran the damn country... I'm still stunned to this day that lead those xenophobic, power-hungry pricks rule a powerful empire. Actually, it has happened before with a couple of other nations.

Of course, saying that would make me sound crazy. Which was, if anyone (anypony rather) asks, why I was here to see the Equestrian fairyland full of 'Harmony' for myself; to see if those two 'immortal' Princesses exist, which I wouldn't be surprised if they do. If they truly were alicorns, a pony with both wings and a horn, then I'll go home a famous adventurer. None of that is expressly a lie per se, but it is more of the sort of thing I plan to do as I wander around aimlessly. But I would be lying if I told anyone that. That reasoning is all just bullshit. I'm never going back. At least, I hope they didn't send someone to bring me back, that will only cause more problems, and not just for me.

My life up until now was kind of fun at times, regretful at others. Actually, it was mostly regretful. I just hope the same doesn't happen here. I have come here to get away from conflict, not to start it all again. But with my luck, I know that someone is going to die, somehow in some way. It's all the matter of where and when, under what circumstances. I guess that's why they say 'Death is a funny game'. It might be a times, but killing another pony, or another being for that matter, is unforgivable in my opinion. But it doesn't necessarily mean you can't ever forgive the killer. Doesn't mean you should, because there isn't any satisfaction if you kill the killer that murdered a loved one. Wait, what am I saying? Of course that is satisfying, if the bastard deserves it. Though not all the time... Buck, that must have been years ago.

I don't want to bet on the fact that somepony, or someone, is going to get killed if I go in that pub. With memories of my past experiences coming back into my mind, I don't think I'll have any luck in getting anywhere toward a suitable place to stay, or any place to stay. If not the suffering of someone in there. It just seems all too familiar to me. I don't want any part of it. It would be a waste of time. So there must be somewhere else to look, or to be at. A hole in the ground would only make things worse for me. I think I'm lightly shaking at the moment. This isn't good.

It would be better if it wasn't raining so much. Much better, even if I do love the sound of rain hitting the ground. I heard that the weather patterns around here are controlled by pegasi, making me wish he had some of our own. I know the reasons why we don't. Actually, I've heard that two more Princesses reside in these lands, but one now controls the legendary 'Crystal Kingdom' to the north. This has made me wonder over the past few days on who would win in a war, Equestria or the Motherland? Which one would give more of a damn about their pride? Which one would want more power than the other? It was hard to know just by giving it a second's worth of thought. But I guess I'll have all the time in the world once I find somewhere to stay...

Which is easier said than done.

But whatever, I'm here now, and there is no changing that. I slowly took a big breath. Damn, even the air tastes differently here, almost if it lacks the centuries of blood, sweat, and steel that had built the land whence I came. This is apparently the smell of Equestria, and I'll have to get used to it. Smells very odd. Comfortably odd.

The night had long since fallen by the time I'd scampered out of the woods and headlong into some spooky, dark town, which, thinking back on it, wasn't the wisest move that I could have made. But it was better than during the middle of the day, where everyone was out and about. Frankly, I guess it's a somewhat good thing that it is pouring down right now. I won't have to talk to anypony.

Presently, I'm sure how much of the liquid on my face is rain, or my own sweat. My muscles had already made a thousand promises of pain to come, and I hate them for it. It just reminds me of just how much I'd abused them just trying to survive getting through that hellish forest. Awfully dangerous, if you ask me. There were more mythical creatures in that forest then I'll probably ever know. Wolves made out of wood? Small chickens that can turn your body to stone? Sounds like a regular day in Northern Prance, if you ask me. And that is why I'm not in Northern Prance.

This 'Ponyville' seems like a small village to me if the almost medieval architecture of the buildings, the earthen streets and the thatched roofing were any clue. I was fairly sure that thatched roofing was illegal back home, something about it being unsafe, insecure versus the elements, and prone to insect infestations. And fire. Anyway, save for the tavern, the windows were all dark, which was why the inn had caught my eye. Well that, and the fact that it was the only building that appears ugly when giving it more than a fleeting glance. I wonder if this place knows the line "as pretty as a whorehouse". Truthfully, I couldn't recall actually taking much note of my surroundings when I first entered the town, buuuut it doesn't look like a war-torn city to me, though. It is smaller than a city, as well. Apparently, Equestria hasn't had a war in a millennium. These ponies should come and live in the Motherland for a few months, to get a taste of how I used to live. Used to.

I'm not exactly sure of what to think of the town. Everything seems... peaceful. Too peaceful. That inn back there was the only source of sound radiating from this village, just by the looks of it. With nothing else to think about, I let myself wonder about all the myths I heard about this nation. A myth which is that Equestrian mares here outnumbered the Stallions like 10 to 1 or something, and that everyone here is on the friendly side. Which leads me to wonder why the gender population ratio is so high. Princess Celestia certainly has eyes everywhere within her realm too, if she exists, that is. This place doesn't seem like a 'spy state' to me though, so it might be false. Might be. Some say that Equestrians are highly xenophobic, which makes sense, if the fact that there are barely any foreigners in this nation is true. I hope it's not. Oh, and here comes my favorite : Stallions in Equestria are treated like slaves by the dominant female population, are all castrated beyond a certain age, and are controlled on what to think and what to do. The last myth is going to be true, knowing my luck, and considering there already is a place I know of that has these rules enforces. Barely anyone lives there, and for the ones who do, for some insane reason or the other, are all mindless drones.

Go figure. I rather like my masculinity. I hope my situation doesn't resolve to violence. Like nearly every other time.

So from the direction that I've been constantly been traveling on, the east, I'm going strait towards the Equestrian capital, Canterlot. Sounds familiar to another name back in my home continent, don't exactly know where. Somewhere south would make sense, possibly east.

Somewhat satisfied, I looked around. More inferior infrastructure around me. Maybe there's another inn in the town? Wait, I don't have any local currency. Bits, I believe they're called. I'll find a job or something, somehow. Shrugging it off, I turned and ambled to the south, ignoring the sting in my limbs. Pain is meaningless at this point. I've slightly gotten used to it, nothing severe. Yet.

"Right. I'm gonna go east. I'm gonna try to meet Celestia and maybe Luna, if they are there" I slowed to a stop, after a few paces of trying to avoid to step into any puddles. "I'm gonna die of exhaustion.", I realize. I have nowhere to stay. And no sticky, leaking holes anymore! Damn, that was a horrible experience. It was Prench horrible. If anypony gets that...

A weird thought crosses my mind. With both the darkness caused by the lack of any street lamps (so this place doesn't care for the night) and the rain pelting my back, both making my vision inky, I remember a scene from a musical play I saw years ago. It was an alright play, entertaining enough to at least leave me satisfied. Minus the near-freezing cold of what I presume is some sort of sickness that I must have caught, my surroundings were like a little stage-like weather biome where you would expect a stallion dancing down a slabbed street, with a fountain nearby, singing about how he was dancing (I think), or something about breaking up with a dame. It was a long time ago, I can't remember the exact details. I'm also shaking now. Shit.

Taking a long hard breath, I take a stab in the dark and head south-west-ish (because buck you! Why not?). I mumbled to myself over... something I remembered. Bastards... This street, or rather dirt path rather, led to some sort of farm or orchard... an apple orchard. Farm ponies. Well, this farm may not be like the others. I don't think it will get bombed anytime soon.

If this was a risk of some kind, I might as well take it. Better than sitting by myself. I could sleep under the trees that look big enough to be... for me to be alive in the morning. Hopefully. Maybe I should run into the orchard before the owners see me. Then again, they might try to kill me for trespassing. I shouldn't ask random strangers to sleep in their barn for a night... No one can be that nice to me.

In the distance, I could see a young stallion down the street, standing in front of a doorway of the large red barn. Whoever that is, or whoever he's talking to, doesn't notice me, as I quickly leap into the shadows, shivering. In my eternal puzzlement, I somehow manage to notice that he's a stallion with wings. A pegasus. Not the fact that he had wings is what surprises me (even if that is mildly interesting), it's that they can hold things with their wings. Magic works in strange ways, I guess. And... something else catches my attention. He didn't have a single scrap of clothing on him. He's... naked. *shudder* My hormones are starting to affect me now. No, don't bother me. Not r-right now!

"Thank you, Miss Applejack," He says to a yellow or gold mare who looks like she was about the same age. I didn't realize how close I got to the barn without being noticed. This orchard is quite a big place.

The mare in the doorway smiles bashfully, who was an Erde, wearing a brown hat upon her head, a... Stetson? "Well, it was nothin', really. Just helpin' a friend out. Ya let me know if there's anythin' else we can do for ya, alright?" A country accent. A very distinct voice. Hmm. Also... she is naked too. Don't stare.

"Well alright. See ya later!" The stallion... saluted? Well, he flew off into the night, which was a very dangerous thing, considering all the trees around. Maybe he's very experienced, or just awfully stupid.

A young mare, who looked the age of a foal, also an Erde (runs in the family), comes up behind the mare, with a larger red stallion behind her. He looks strong to me. I couldn't take him on by myself. Especially in my weakened, shivering state. "He gave ya the parcel Applejack, didn't he?" She sounded sweet and innocent, a voice that I've never head before. At least nothing similar. All the foals, or kids from the Motherland are pricks, no better than their guardians or their parents.

"Yeah, he did. Come on, the rain is gettin' heavier by the second". Maybe I should ask them for shelter now, while I have the chance... but that would be very rude of me. And they would probably kick me to the curb, my wonder plot harmed. Eh, there really isn't much point now. Better not take the chance anyways-

"Hey sister, who is that?" I immediately dart back behind the tree. How did the foal spot me? I thought I was hidden? Dammit! They better not come over here...  I shake uneasily, with my forehead beginning to feel like its burning. Yep, I've got a cold. Maybe even a severe one. Oh no...

"Who ya talking about?" I hope neither of them can see me. I've lined my body up perfectly in the opposite direction from where they are, pressed hard against the tree. That... kinda sounds wrong. Nevermind. It isn't important. What's important is that they don't see me here.

"There! There was this shadow, that ducked behind that ter' tree!" Oh buck. This is bad. 'Way to go, you can apparently make an enemy within the first few minuted of arriving in a town. That must be a new record. And your in no state to f-fight back, thanks to your damn cold. This coat isn't e-enough...' I think.

There's a pause. "It's only one shadow." I take a small sigh of relief, but still shiver. It's getting worse by the second. "But it doesn't seem like your lyin'..." N-no... pl-ple-lease no... "I'll go check it out." There's a few moments of silence which I expectedly use to panic. 'Shit, I might die here, if Equestrians are really xenophobic to outsiders'. I heard the farm door close, as hoof steps became closer and closer. Maybe I should admit what my intentions are, otherwise its going to end badly. Or, I'll tell her that I'm at the wrong place... and it will end badly. Or I could try and run for my life... but there isn't any way that it will end pretty for me. Damn... there isn't much choice...

"Is anypony there?" Her voice sounds a little stern, even if a little hesitant.

I take a weak, struggling breath. "U-um... y-ye-yeah." I stutter, slowly moving from behind the tree. I try to remain strong and stoic as I possibly could, but I felt like I was failing. She looks at me angrily at first... before changing to... something else. I'm starting to blur out... I'm too exhausted. "Gu-gut-guten ab-abend, F-Frau..."

"Sweet Celestia," I had never expected that I would die like this, in a foreign land. "Are you okay?" I guess it isn't the most dishonorable way to go out... Wait, what?

"N-ne-nein, I'm ju-jus-just a b-bit... cold is all." I'm going to black out... s-s-sh-shit... "I wa-was wo-won-wonderin' if y-you ha-had p-pl-place to st-stay..."

A pause. But I couldn't hear what she says after that. Before I know it, everything goes black, and I knew no more.