When worlds collide

Dear diary,

This day couldn't possibly get any worse if it tried. I don't know exactly what's going on, or why, I just know that something changed my species, and gender, and put me in a frozen wilderness in the middle of no-damn-where. But I guess I shouldn't get ahead of myself, let's start from the beginning.

I fell asleep last night in my own bed, er... fell asleep in my bed five years ago. I don't know what happened while I slept, but I woke up today, and it's the year twenty sixteen. I want to know what happened to the past 5 years of my life, but I suppose it can wait for now. Anyway, not only am I in the future, but also a different house. I don't remember ever being in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, but that's where I woke up this morning.

I knew something was up as soon as I opened my eyes and began shivering. I know the calendar downstairs says July, but I highly doubt that. Now that I think about it, it might not even be twenty sixteen. Eh, whatever, doesn't really matter what year it is. Anyway, like I said, I woke up and began shivering. My brain hadn't fully woken up yet, so I couldn't think clearly just yet. Felt like an eternity before I realized I was shivering in a strange bed in a strange room. The blankets were frozen stiff and unmoldable, so I had to find another way to warm up. Should have been simple: Get out of bed, find something fuzzy that isn't frozen stiff, and wrap up like a caterpillar in a cocoon. That's not how it worked, though.

As soon as I stood up, I face planted. I would normally pass it off as still being groggy and not fully awake, but that was, unfortunately, not the case. As I pushed myself off the floor, I got a good look at my hands... well, lack thereof. Where my hands should have been were greenish blue stubs. Needless to say, this freaked me out more than a little. I forgot about being cold for a bit while my brain took in the sight. I soon discovered it wasn't just my hands that had changed, my whole body did. After the initial shock, I looked the rest of my body over to find greenish blue stubs for feet, a slender, almost cylinder-like body, and... a uh... well, a tail. A two tone tail, I might add. My tail is a mixture of dark blue and plum purple.

Now where was I? Oh yea, being cold. I remedied that eventually, but first let me tell you about my next discovery. This one was huge, even bigger than the one I just wrote about. Walking was rather simple, though I suppose that's to be expected when I have more legs to stand on. Anyway, so I walk over to the door and try to open it... well, I kind of did successfully in a way because it fell on its hinges at my touch. Yea, this cabin is need of some serious repairs. Getting off track again, sorry. Anyway, so I made my way over the downed door and to the stairs. Walking was easy enough, so surely stairs wouldn't be hard, right? Wrong. I immediately regretted taking that first step, as I then found out what it's like to topple down old stairs. When I landed, I had the biggest headache in the world. It wasn't like a regular headache, it felt like I had been stabbed in the forehead. I raised up one of my legs to hold my head, and that's when my big discovery happened. I didn't touch my forehead, but a strange protrusion. That scared the hell out of me at first. I thought I really did get stabbed by something.

I decided enough was enough, and walked over to the nearest window, hoping to get at least some kind of decent look at myself. What I saw killed my poor brain. Staring back at me was a small horse, a pony to be precise. I have a small muzzle, a bigger head than my body should be able to hold up, and eyes bigger than should be physically possible. What caught my attention the most, however, was the protrusion I discovered a little bit ago. I didn't get stabbed (Thank goodness for that), but Instead had a horn coming out of my forehead. It's the same color as the rest of me in case you were wondering. I'd seen enough My Little Pony with my daughter to know what I had become: an Equestrian unicorn. Only thing was different about me was my lack of a butt tattoo.

Alone, a horn on my forehead isn't too impressive sounding, but when you add in that Equestrian unicorns can use magic, it becomes the biggest discovery I'll ever make about myself. I even consider it bigger than discovering I'm a mare. Oh, and since I brought that up, let me tell you that I was a guy when I fell asleep, so you can probably imagine my surprise when I found out I was missing something.

So, after about an hour of discoveries, my temperature had dropped to below acceptable levels. Luckily for me, whoever was here before me left some firewood in the fireplace and had a nice, fresh supply of fatwood. I, however, am still a pony, and am not all that great at using hooves for things only fingers should be able to do. So, what did I do? Well, still not sure about that, but somehow, the firewood caught fire without me having to actually do anything. I'm sure I used magic, but I don't even know how it works so... yea, I'll just say it was magic.

Enough rambling about that, I'll get onto the last topic for today, something I'm you're wondering by this point: How the hell am I writing this without hands? Well, I've been here for about three and a half hours now drawing lines slowly while holding the pencil I'm using in between my two front hooves. I've made some mistakes, and I lost my balance a couple times, so it's been kind of frustrating. However, if somebody, or somepony, actually finds this diary, then all will not be lost.

• The lovely, crazy, greenish blue unicorn