A New Day

After thoroughly probing the depths of Eddie's mind and soul, several times, Celestia found no trace of evil intent.

So are we done with this I got shit to do. Eddie said in a annoyed tone.

How can you be so calm with taking a life. Twilight asked.

Well on Tavianna it's either kill or be killed, that's the way a zombie apocalypse works. Eddie explained. Not to mention all the drugs and alcohol helps me by making me forget about life's problem, and in some cases where I even am, in fact it's five o-clock time for a drink.

Eddie pulled out some cocaine and a bottle whisky and downed both of them in five seconds.

You sure like your alcohol Eddie. Luna pointed out.

Of course I do I'm half Irish. Eddie said proudly. We're like the poster boys of alcoholism, let me explain it ... through song.

Eddie the pulled out his iPod, put the speakers up to full blast and put on the karaoke version of family guy's "Drunken Irish dad"

"Oh, he doesn't smell of Irish Spring, and he never taught me anything,"

"But still I slap my chest and sing of my Drunken Irish Dad"

"Oh, his face looks like a railroad track, and he never shuts his freakin' trap

"But all the ladies catch the clap from my Drunken Irish Dad"

"Ask a Hennessey, Tennessey, Morrison, Shaughnessy, Reardon, and Rooney, they'll tell you the same"

"McNulty, Mulrooney, O'Connor and Clooney, they all feel the same mixture of pride and of shame"

"Finnegan, Hannigan, Kelly and Flanagan, look at the ground while their dad passes by"

"Cafferty, Rafferty, Joyce and O'lafferty, Fight for his honor and then start to cry"

Eddie then began to dance a traditional Irish jig as the music played on.

I like this guy. Pinkie said in her usually up beat tone. He really knows how to make a one man party

"Oh, we Irish lads are all infirm, and our moods infect us like a germ"

" Cause we'er all the spawn of a pickled sperm... From a Drunken Irish dad"

And we don't tan well either. Eddie added.

Well that's very fascinating. Celestia said.

Thanks I'm also part British, part french, part German, and part Native american. Eddie said. but I'm not as proud of then as I am of my Irish roots.

Why not. Twilight asked.

Well. Eddie said. The french are kinda snobby, the British basically created black slavery, the native american cut the scalps off everyone the caught trespassing on their land back in the sixteen hundreds, and the Germans went through this little phase where, and don't freak out about this, they might have been hellbent on exterminating a whole race just because of their religion.

OH GOOD LORD. Rarity screamed.

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOUR WORLD. Shining armor yelled.

FlutterShy just cried.

Pinkie Pie hair drooped down.

You see, you see, this is why it hesitated telling you guys this, this is exactly why. Eddie said.

How do you sleep at night. Rainbow asked.

I DON'T SLEEP OK. Eddie yelled. Because if you go to sleep on Tavianna, chances are you going to wake up to a zombie chewing on your arm, or an armed gunman pointing his rifle at you, or a CANNIBALISTIC PEDOPHILE RUBBING STEAK SAUCE ON YOUR BALLS SO HE CAN EAT YOU AFTER HE'S DONE FUCKING YOUR LIFELESS CORSE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF SHIT I'VE SEEN, I HAVE SEEN SHIT THAT WILL TURN YOU WHITE. I'VE SEEN A MAN PUSH HIS BEST FRIEND DOWN ONTO THE GROUND TO SAVE HIMSELF FROM A ZOMBIE HORDE, HIS BEST FRIEND. YOU TRY LIVING ON A ZOMBIE INFESTED ISLAND CHAIN FOR SIX YEARS AND SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE GO AHEAD AND TRY. NOW IF YOU NEED ME I WILL BE CHUGGING TWELVE OUNCES OF PURE PEIOTE, VODKA, LSD, AND PCP, AND THEN PROCEED TO LOSE MY GOD DAMN MIND FOR THREE WEEKS.

He then proceeded to pull out a pitcher fill with a dark green substance and down the whole thing in one go.

Is something suppose to happen. Twilight asked.

Give it a minute. Eddie said before freaking out and jumping out the nearest window.

Should we go after him. Rainbow asked.

I think it's best we leave him alone for a while. Celestia said calmly. At least until his drug educed insanity wheres off.

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< 3 weeks later>

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Hey kid wake up. A strange voice said.

Eddie woke up in a clearing with three royal guards standing over him and asked. What the sweet fuck happened.

Well. The guard said. From what the princess said you drank some kid of insanity potion.

Cocktail. Eddie corrected. Insanity cocktail.

Right. The guard said calmly. Anyway you then proceeded to jump out the window, insult several nobles, set fire to the royal guard armory, bite the beak of a wild bird, and jumped of a cliff.

Damn, really lost it this time. Eddie said. usually I light something on fire before I jump out a window.

Yes well in any case we're here to bring you back to the castle. The guard said.

Alright let's go. Eddie said.