So you are suddenly a soon-to-be husband to a Sun-Goddess.by TheDawsonator1ChaptersOops...No humans were severly harmed in the making of this chapter, sanity and I.Q...that may be a different story."How's your day?" "Oh good, I get to marry the Princess"One shot, One Relationship.Jason needs a suit for his date, you get three guesses where.Picnic under the starsOh look, turns out I was Dating Princess Celestia the whole time...oops.Eyes are a Mind control weapon (See also:Breasts, butt, smile, those really long legs that are quite sexy for some reason)Deus Ex Pinkie...are you really surprised at this point?The Pancake joke is not appropriate for this chapter...you'll see why.Unconscious events.The most escalating waking up you'll ever see...maybe.The Love is in the air even when the world around us is destroyed in slow motion.A talk with Cadence...Shining Armor is just there. (Like in the show but still better than the orange pegasus that must not be named)Sometimes, life ain't fair on a brother.All it takes is one bad day...Lesson 1 of surviving a sun-goddess: Don't ever get her angry.A little talk to Luna.A four worded Question.A One Worded Answer.A quick talk with Dash.THE BIG WEDDING! (Hence the caps lock/Royal Canterlot Voice)So you are married to a Sun-Goddess now. (The Finale)The Sequel (Link In the chapter)Oops...You know…I think if I were ever looking back at this moment, I'd notice I spent a good 2 minutes looking at the ceiling waking up before realizing I was not at my home in Ponyville and I am at the castle. I am not bright at all in recognizing things are wrong immediately. Why am I at the castle? I certainly do not remember this. Next question subconscious, why do I feel something warm and furry on my right side? So I look to the right and I see a large pony with white fur and a flowly mane with a sun on her flank…oh shit! DID I SLEEEP WITH HER!? First off, HIGH FUCKING FIVE DUDE! Second off, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Third, I gotta get the fuck out of here! Okay, those classes of getting out of bed with a sleeping female classes that my big bro taught me if I ever got caught in these situations will finally come in handy! Okay blanket…off…make blanket formation natural….pick up clothes, get in them stealthly while humming the Mission Impossible theme inside head and now for the super covert stealthy extravaganza escape, opening the door and… Celestia’s waking up…NOOOOO! Okay she’s rolling over… God, I know I am atheist despite sleeping with a goddess, but if you help me get me out of this without being detected I will convert and worship you. SHE’S OPENING HER EYES! DAMN YOU GOD! Thankfully the door is open, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN! 40 minutes later… I have no idea how I ran out of the castle and onto a train to Ponyville without something going down…I am really suspicious right now because I’ve seen enough shit in Equestria to know this would be a perfect time to do so and the fact it hasn’t happen means shit is gonna happen soon. “It’ll be fine, maybe she thinks Discord’s playing a prank on her, that wouldn’t be the first time.” I say out loud to myself. Discord would not have magically taken me next to Celestia for a prank, Celestia would have found out. I know we did cause you know when you do it and Discord has to stay away anyway, especially after that restraining order I got on him after he…violated my anatomy to become a pony mare just because I made ONE sexist comment. And trust me, if Celestia herself puts a restraining order, you do not defy her if you want to live! So that leaves me with hoping to damn hell she has a retard moment and doesn’t find out we totally banged…yeah the chances of that happening is the chance or red and black ponies being respected. And when Luna find outs…well let’s just say it leaves much to be desired. Cadence…I dunno…I can kind of see her going ‘WHOOOOOOOO!’ for some reason…she’d make a decent chick flick character, just saying. Twilight I can totally see in my head… “YOU HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH MY MENTOR!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?” or "How did it go? I must make notes of this!” First one being more likely. Pinkie would throw a party because she has a party fetish, Rarity would be aghast I would talk about something like that, Rainbow Dash would totally hoof-bump, Applejack….ummm….what would she say? As for Fluttershy…eek. That’s what she’d do. The general public….NO! No thinking about that, just…go talk to somebody…you can’t just hold it in and sooner or later somebody has to find out. I know! I’ll tell Rainbow Dash…she may be blunt and a little insensitive but she’s still a pal and won’t freak out as much as the others “The Train to [Ponyville] will be arriving in [two] minutes, please make sure you don’t leave any belongings behind with you, we thank you for riding the Friendship Express and hope to see you next time” the voice on the train says Well,here goes… Aproximately 5.23470538 minutes later… “Rainbow Dash! I need to talk to you!” I yelled out to a cloud with a certain Pegasus with it. Said Pegasus came down to me…10.1 seconds later, god is she slow…hope that converts to sex or her appeal is going down fast…what? Like you haven’t thought those thoughts. Anyway I dragged her into an alley for private conversation…NOT THAT PRIVATE CONVERSATION YOU DIRTY MIND PIG! “So, Jason. What’s up, dude?” Dash says all casually. “Long story short, I fucked the Princess of the Sun while somehow drunk and I am totally screwed when she finds out it was me” I shortly explain in a blunt way. “Dude, did you really bang Princess Celestia?” Dash said in awe, like I had just done the most awesome thing ever. “Yeah…drunk” I admit to this with probably nowhere near as much shame as I should be feeling. “Dude! That is awesome! Gimme some of that respect right here!” Dash holds a hoof up. And then the hoof-bump happened, that’s what I like about Dash, you could tell her you blew up Griffionia and you’d still get a hoof bump, plus she’s loyal as hell, try getting someone that loyal back on Earth means they’re loyal to a fault translating to fucking dumb or they’re getting in your good books to stab you kind of thing. Stallions, you need this girl around if you looking for somepony who'll stay with you. She ain't me though, trust me we tried. “Yeah! But I don’t think Celestia’d be mad at you, you guys were drunk” Dash speaks her mind from experience. “Tell that to Luna, she’s totally gonna march up to my house and bring the moon down on it with a side of Royal Canterlot Voice” I mutter in fear. As if the gods were telling me to go fuck myself, Luna landed nearby with the most pissed look on her face…I thought I had more time and also, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! “Oh shitballs, Rainbow Dash you gotta hide me!” I plead with her immediately. “But-“ Dash started to protest but I was having none of it right now. “Just do it, I like my skin and you as a friend, I want to keep both so I need to not be seen” I say to her with puppy eyes “Well…those are the worst puppy eyes ever! But sure, I’ll head her off” Dash starts to leave as she gives me a wink as she enacted Operation: Distract angry Princess that will so murder me. Okay so I am hidden behind some bins and- “WHERE IS JASON!? COME OUT JASON AND COME BEFORE ME! HOW DARE THOU DEFILE MY SISTER? SHAME ON THEE! THOU ART LUCKY CASTRATION WAS BANNED 200 YEARS AGO OR THAT’S WHAT WE’D DO TO YOUR TINY GENITALS OF YOUR HUMAN ANATOMY!” Luna yelled in the most devil voice ever. Pinkie, you may have somepony running for your bits. Heavenly Lord, I know my last prayer was desperate, but I really cannot be found. I will never club again, never get drunk if I get out of this alive, please O magical god in the sky, I beseech thee! Help me in my dire time of need! “WHERE IS JASON, RAINBOW DASH?” Luna furiously yells at Rainbow in an effort to find me. “Whoa! Calm down Princess, what do you need Jason for?” Dash has her hooves up in an attempt to calm her down. Lesson: If you are not an Element of Harmony and you are telling a Princess to calm down and you didn’t land on the moon or be vaporized, you should count yourself lucky, double if you are a dude. Quadruple if you're me right now. So Luna angrily explained the situation and what my fate would be if I were found, thankfully she was heading away and then I proceeded to FUCKING RUN THE OTHER DIRECTION! There are 3 things that truly terrify me right now: Princess Luna The fear of possible pregnancy despite Alicorns being immune to that thing unless another Alicorn does it. The Demon Bunny, you know the one of which I speak. I think running is very justifiable for my existence to be continuing. Considering the last one will show up soon, he somehow always does. Twilight’s castle is near I could hide there and hope to all heaven and hell Princess Luna doesn’t find me there…bear in mind this is hoping, the fact I haven’t been found is starting to get- “Hi Jasie!” Pinkie says in front of me. “AH! Pinkie!” I literal jump out of my skin and fall back in. I then proceeded to check everywhere before dragging Pinkie into a nearby alley (There are a lot more than you’d think). “Whatcha doing?” Pinkie asks me with her trademark smile. “Oh nothing, justhidingfromPrincessLunawhoisabouttokillme! How about you?” I say really quick and innocently. “Oooh you’re playing hide and seek with Princess Luna, I got you! I won’t say a word!” Pinkie sort of catches on. “Huh? Hide and seek? That's not what I...I mean YES! That’s what I am doing, playing hide and seek with our dear Princess of the Night who is threatening to kill me for reasons I will not disclose. It’s very important that she doesn’t find me, so can you be a pal and distract her, please?” I grinned evilly as I could see my convincing skill level up. “Okie dokie lokie! One super-duper distraction coming up” Pinkie instantly smiled. Pinkie then proceeds to go in a direction to assist Rainbow in Operation: Distraction. Heh Heh, this is like taking candy from a baby, I should know, I actually did that to the cake twins on Nightmare Night, serves them right for pouring flour all over my costume. Now to make my cunning escape and- TAP TAP! Oh no, the devil bunny is here, Angel Bunny! I turned very slowly to the evil grinning bastard. I am so fucked right now and not in the good fucked way. “Hi Angel, how’s it going?” I smile innocently ‘I hear you are running from the Princess, shame if she suddenly found you’ Angel puts on a troll smile as I am sure those are the words he conveys. “Don’t you do it” I look him sternly in the eye and pleaded. ‘Imma do it’ “Don’t you do it!” ‘Imma do it’ “ANGEL NO!” I yell as I see him about to do his screech. ‘Angel YES!’ Oh crap…she’s coming this way! OH FUCK ME IN THE BALLSACKS ON A FISHSTICK! WHY ME? “WE HATH FOUND THEE JASON! THOU WILL NOW ENDURE OUR WRATH!” Luna shouted as she went super-speed at me. “You… white furred son of a bitch” I looked at Angel for the brief second before the inevitable thing happen. I was quickly grabbed around the throat and teleported…straight in front of Celestia. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-- Author's Note So, a new story that's...been here a while in me head. It had to get out because my brain was all like DISK SPACE RUNNING LOW! And I was like, GET THAT OUTTA THERE NOW! Anywho, some chaos will be in this story, yaaaay. Oh, and if anybody wanna pre-read or edit out of the goodness of their heart...please PM. No humans were severly harmed in the making of this chapter, sanity and I.Q...that may be a different story.-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCK! Here I am, pretty much going to be executed because Celestia and Luna are right here in front of me. Luna’s rage could melt the entire planet away if she wanted, in fact I am surprised I am even still living or at least not melting, Raiders of the Lost Ark style or even just the wicked witch of the west. “Please don’t kill me! I have 5 cupcakes at home I need to eat, at least let me eat them!” I pleaded at Celestia’s hooves in basically an instant. “Jason I-“ Celestia starts but I continue. “I didn’t even say good-bye to Dash!” I say all dramatically at Celestia’s horseshoes. “JASON! We are not going to kill you, we, as in you, Luna and myself are going to talk.” Celestia says a bit louder to get my attention. So…I get to live? I GET TO LIIIIVVEEEE! “So, no knifes, no beheading, no nothing?” I ask, still unsure, especially the way Luna is looking. “That is correct, now all I want is both sides of the story for now and you will tell the truth and nothing but the truth, are we clear?” Celestia states her intentions calmly. “Yes” I answer. Oh lord help me, this day has already been ruined! No Jason, just act natural and you’ll get out fine enough to get that demon bunny for this. Wait, why am I praying the lord again? He hasn't helped me out the previous two times. “First off, did you for sure “Sleep” with me?” Celestia asked me calmly. “I…yes…sorry” I bowed my head in shame. There was no lying to a Princess. “So thou should be” Luna growls. “Second question, did you remember any action that you wanted to do this on purpose?” Celestia asks the next question “No, all I remember was a party and then…oh yeah! There was that drinking contest that I challenged you to and then next thing I know is that I am in bed with you with all my clothes off” I answered honestly but a little bluntly. “Last question, do you know of an ancient law about bedding Princesses from way back in my early teenage years that you have activated?” Celestia asked seriously, like dead serious in a "What have you done?" sort of serious. “No.” I reply Celestia looked satisfied with my answers but then serious, this isn’t going the right way is it? It's going to go downhill isn't it? Any day the demon bunny shows up to screw me over generally does. “What is it Princess? There’s more isn’t there?” I ask her seriously. “Well, this law was way back when my parents were the rulers of Equestria just after the three tribes had settled here. I was a mere teen and my parents cared who I ended up with and the only way to make sure that male that ended up with Lulu and I was sincere was to make this law” Celestia explains “Tis true, the law was passed on by one, Starswirl the Bearded” Luna adds in. “Oh, not him again!” I angrily cursed the bearded pony. Let’s just say a few of his works have screwed me over a few times to the point of if I ever go back to the past that motherfucker is gonna get killed by me and damn the wibbly-wobbly time stuff. First that dimension spell sends me to Equestria, then it causes all that chaos in Ponyville with that unfinished spell, which destroyed half my house by the way. And now this law appears out of nowhere, that Starswirl statue is so getting destroyed and damn the consequences. “Yes him, the law says whoever manages to “court” us and that includes bedding must be bound to marry the Princess” Celestia recites the law Starswirl made. “WHAT? So you’re saying one drunk night gets us freaking married!? That sadistic bearded bastard!” I am in utter disbelief (try saying the last four words five times fast). “We’re afraid it’s true Jason, thanks thy actions upon our sister, you two are as of now, engaged. Thou hath in laypony's terms, just proposed to Tia, congratulations” Luna confirms my fate. “Okay first, I’m so going to destroy one of his statues, second of all you’re the Princess for crying out loud! Just reverse the stupid law and get it done with!” I reply to this law’s existence. “We can’t, the one pony whom he passed the law to died before he could pass on to a successor so the law carries on forever until the pair of us pass away” Luna shoots down my suggestion. I was still having none of it. “Are you serious? Do you hear yourself? YOU ARE THE FUCKING PRINCESSES! No higher power resides in this country! Nopony fucks with you two, especially not you Luna, because quite frankly, you scare the shit out of me but right now you are knocking the I.Q out of me. That law thing is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, if you don’t like a partner you break up like normal ponies, if you love them enough truly then you marry the fuck out of them!” I went on about how stupid this law is. “We are sorry but we can’t, Jason. It’s the law and the law even by us cannot be changed, if we were to break it our royal title and your reputation would be stripped.” Celestia is actually accepting the crap. “Well I’m sorry I respect you Celestia as much as the next pony, but this is not something I can respect, it's outright stupid! The two most powerful beings in the kingdom bow down to a law made by a fucking pony with a dangerous unfinished spell fetish. I’m sorry but I refuse to believe this for one second, sure I can get that Luna is pissed that I, on accident did the dirty with you Celestia, but this is stupid” I argue even more. “It’s that or the punishment is public execution and while public execution has been outlawed, this law allows it as one of the loopholes” Luna says oh so casually. I even looked at the lawbook shown to me, Life-ruiner the Bearded made this punishable by death if you don’t marry the Princess you bedded…well this is tits. “There’s no other way?” I ask with one last faint hope disappearing. “None, as much as I regret it, you and I will be together for a long time” Celestia says I-I UURRRGGGGH! Stupid law! No, who am I kidding, if I had not challenged Celestia to some drinking game, I wouldn’t have gotten in this mess in the first place. Most of this is my fault anyway, can't even control my drunk self to not screw a drunk Princess, unless it was her that initiated it, I don't remember. “Fine…I guess there really is no choice” I concede defeat. “Thou are lucky there aren’t laws making bedding a Princess being a death penalty” Luna says, still a scowl on her face, she could still melt me. A slight pause in conversation happens just as I realize how screwed I am, I am only twenty years old and I am forced to marry a Princess I barely even know and that barely is only because I am an alien. “So what now? Do we just marry now or what? "You may now kiss the bride" or something.” I ask Celestia. “No, there needs to be time to sink this in and tell the general public about our…being together” Celesita hesitates on the last part. “Yes, because Luna yelling we banged while trying to find me in Ponyville won’t cause some ruckus” I sarcastically say to Luna. “Luna, is this true?” Celestia rounded on Luna, looking surprised. “Y-Yes, Tis true, we were merely defending thy honor, he had taken advantage of thee!” Luna admitted while blaming me. “My honor is perfectly fine, Lulu. And should I recall correctly, the pair of us were drunk at Miss Pie’s party so therefore the blame should partly be mine.” Celestia replies to Luna in a fair way, at least she's taking some of the blame. That brings up something I've been meaning to ask Celestia. “About that, I thought Alicorns don't get drunk, how exactly did you get drunk?” I ask a fair question to Celestia. Long as I remember, I know for a fact that Alicorns couldn’t get drunk, Celestia even said it when I first met her. She basically lied to me. “Well, I may have lied to you about that but it was a natural precaution at the time. Alicorns can get drunk like normal ponies, but we actually cast a spell to protect ourselves from being drunk and even poison. The reason you along with everypony else has been told is to protect against those that may think to get us drunk in order to advance their own agenda or even try to poison us, even with a spell poison is highly unplesant.” Celestia explains why she lied about the not-getting-drunk thing. “Thou will not understand just how many attempts there have been over the centuries, while we may have missed several centuries, we know and understand this fact” Luna adds "And let me guess, you forgot one time to put the spell on?" I ask Celestia with the most are-you-fucking-kidding-me look ever. "Unfortunately yes" Celestia answers with her head in shame You heard it here first, even Princesses can forget shit, where's your perfect Princess image now, ponies? “So…what now?” I have no idea what to do right now. “Well, there is naught for us to do right at this moment, for now you may go back to Ponyville, would you be so kind, Lulu?” Celestia gives me a free ticket back home for the day. Luna grabs me in an instant and then we teleport back… We landed roughly in front of my house, maybe I need a drink of two to start my chaotic first few hours of the day. I started to walk until Luna held me back by the shoulder. Luna was looking dead fucking threatening as hell. “We art warning thee now, thou may be engaged to our sister but does NOT mean thou art to mess around with her or act like the pair of thee are in love when not in public. If thou messes with Tia or even hurts her feelings so much as a pinch, we will be sure that your body remains will be found spread out all over Equestria for everypony to see, art we clear?” Luna threatens me with the “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you” speech. "Crystal as the Crystal Empire" I reply, giving my word I won't do anything funny. "Good, we shall be watching thee, fare thee well!" Luna says as she disappears. I am now left in front of my house all by myself and today has been a very fucking terrifying day. “That mare creeps me out” I comment on her recent behavior. Well I guess I can spend the day banging me head against a wall or drink my problems away a bit. How do I get myself into these messes? Author's Note Holy Alicorns, Flutterbat! 59 likes to 9 Dislikes in 24 hours, that's a damned record for me! You guys are the best! If there weren't a computer screen in between us I'd hug you guys and girls. I know this chapter is a lot of talking but more action will happen next one, I promise! Believe me, I Pinkie Promise and the pink mare with the huge machete is making sure I keep that promise. Also, I want to make something clear in case you're confused: I think that gods should be able to get drunk, it makes for some good story stuff. I find the whole gods cannot get drunk thing a bit silly, so I made it here being a ruse to prevent other countries from trying to poison the Princesses. I am not making Luna acting like bitch the whole time, I rather want her seen in this fic as defensive of her sister. There will be an Antagonist soon, but it's not going to be some evil creature like Chrysalis. I decided to make Starswirl this way because let's face it, how many times have you seen Starswirl seen in a way that isn't pure idolizing him? In fact, I'm surprised Starswirl's works aren't kept as secret as they should be knowing the dangers the ones in the show present. Trust me, If you delay Twilight's interventions with her friends in Magical Mystery Cure to get them back on track by at least half an hour, you are gonna have a very dark ending, not to mention that the time spell could have caused a lot more trouble as well. You didn't notice I skipped 5 did you? The Law that drives this plot is meant to be stupid for today's standards but in the past, Celestia's parents would want the one she ended up being with the be sincere on marrying on her and not for gain, also stallions wouldn't bed mares as much back in those days. Celestia hasn't found a stallion worthy of her in the time between then and now and now that I think about, it must be depressing. This isn't a self-insert...trust me you'd know if it really were, there'd be so much mindless sex like NORMAL SELF-INSERTS. I want it to seem that Alicorns can be quite incompetent at times, the law here proves this, highest authority in the world cannot reverse a law because BS! Rather silly isn't it? But Sillyness is all you live for sometimes, just ask Pinkie Pie! Any spelling mistakes, please point out and tips are generally graciously accepted. "How's your day?" "Oh good, I get to marry the Princess"My house was not much, a bedroom, a kitchen and a sitting room, it was all I really needed. No over-the-top pools, verandas or any furniture that makes my house look was too expensive and tacky. The first thing I did was get a drink, surprisingly I don’t have a hangover, perhaps a no-hangover spell was cast while we were drunk? I will kiss whomever made that spell, unless it was Starswirl or it was a dude. “Well, to me getting married…yay.” I said to myself unenthusiastically. “You’re getting married!?” Dash says behind me, making me jump. Damn it! I completely forgot to lock the door. Can I be anymore idiotic today? Uh, don't answer that one, Murphy. “Uh, maybe?” I say as Rainbow Dash looks shocked and awed. “Who? Who is our big lug of ape marrying? And why didn't you tell me?” Dash asks as she’s next to me in mere milliseconds. “Celestia, long story” I answer simply preparing to get a shout in my ears. “PRINCESS CELESTIA!? YOU’RE MARRYING HER?” Dash shouted in absolute shock, half of Equestria may have just heard that. “Keep your voice down! I’m pretty sure most of Ponyville just heard you and I don’t want it out just yet” I urge her to shush. Dear lord Dashie, I’d rather this day not get worse anytime soon, my life is already over enough already, any more and I may go Twilight freakout on the town. “So what gives? Since when were the two of you an item?” Dash asks with the demanding voice for details, Rarity will be so much worse. “Since about a couple of hours ago, remember when I said I slept with her, turns out some ancient law from Celestia’s childhood says if you bed her, you gotta marry her so you are sincere or it’s death. Past has some issues personally” I summed up my reason why I am going to have a ring on my finger for the rest of my life. “So, some old law got you into this mess, can’t the Princesses just reverse it?” Dash asks with a "Oh that's bullshit" look. “That’s what I said, turns out the successor to Starswirl who made the law had died before he could pass on the rights to discontinue the law so it passed on until the Princesses die. Actual bullshit if you ask me” I explain why it couldn’t be reversed. “That’s total bogus dude! Must feel awful but awesome at the same time cause you get to marry a Princess!” Dash pats me on the back I guess it can be awesome as I can at least brag to some people and go in your face to that smug bitch back on Earth who said I won't amount to anything. “Yaaaaaay” I say very unenthusiastically “Come on, don’t you like her at least a little bit?” Dash asks reasonably…reasonable is strange for Dash, please stop it. “Well no, don’t get me wrong, her body gave me a boner when I first saw her but I don’t love her, we’ve barely had a few conversations before this and that was a year or two back.” I explain my non-existent love right now. “Only just a boner, dude! I’d go lesbian for her” Dash is literally in awe that I don’t have some sort of dream sex with Celestia. “I thought you were already lesbian” I could not resist that joke. “Ha ha ha ha ha!” Dash sarcastically laughs. Do I have feelings for Celestia? No! Especially not after one night after drunk sex I don’t even remember…well it must have been alright cause I just feel it did. Did I have some secret want for this? No, but other stallions do, Celestia has that body to die for. Celestia’s like that girl that isn’t too photoshopped but she has that body that many mares want and stallions to jerk off to and maybe dream sex her too…don’t lie stallions, I know you do it. She just has that perfect ass and a slight curve line that doesn’t look to try-hard or too laid-back, she has eyes that looks better than shiny gems. And her smile, I’ve seen her fake ones and her true ones like around Twilight for example, that true smile tells you everything is gonna be alright even if the world was burning around you. Oh and the mane and tail too, I’ll just leave those thoughts her for now shall I? Bottom line, you're gay if you did not ever feel that Celestia was damned hot, no pun intended. Yeah, I’m describing the Princess I have no feelings for and yet am marrying in that detail, what is wrong with me? Why aren't I jumping at Celestia like any other Stallion would, definitely nobles would do so, I hear they been trying that for years. “So, I got a couple of cupcakes, you want some?” I offer her one to change the subject. “Oh alright, but only one, I gotta keep the Dash physique if I am gonna keep Soarin around” Dash says as I go the fridge. “Are you two ever gonna fuck? You guys have been together for like a year and half, one may start to think you might going down the lesbo path” I ask her about her lack of sex. “Oh so it’s on me now is it?” Dash replies with a laugh “Yeah, a physique like yours and I bet Soarin would throw his wonders into your bolt and yet somehow it hasn’t happened yet, go any longer and I might change the "You need to get laid" line from Twilight to you.” I reply trying to make a sex pun. “Dude, that’s the worst sex pun ever” Dash laughs at my admittedly poor sex pun skills. “Yeah it was bad I admit but honestly, Pinkie even got with Spitfire to bet on how long it would take” I told Dash about the betting pool that was going on. Yep these two have been on at least 6 major dates and not one is ending in a rutting, so their close friends, Wonderbolts included started betting, my money is on 3 months later from today, just one month after heat season. That will be a horror. “Oh? And how will your royal mare do when the heat goes around?” Dash says, throwing the sex question to me. Oh crap, Celestia is probably going to go after me at heat season. I can distinctly remember last time, I end holding a door closed for the entire last night. “Highly unpleasant cause if we do fuck even against my will, Luna will basically kill me.” I shudder at the thought “Ah come on, she won’t kill you” Dash tries to reassure me. “Trust me she will, and heat season is already bad enough without you mare simulating the zombie apocalypse but instead of moaning brains you moan “Diiiicccccks”” I recount my last experience of the heat kind. “Ah it’s not that bad” Dash is clearly playing ignorant. “Yeah well you’re not yourself when you do that, I was this close from having accidental bragging rights to banging you first” I mention as I gave her the cupcake. “Come on, you would have loved it” Dash says as she eats said cupcake Aha, NO! Okay maybe back then when Dash and I were crushing on each other at the time, but now would be just cheating and Jason Anderson is not a cheating bastard. "At the time maybe, but you and I both know that it would never have worked out in the long run" I say honestly "Maybe" Dash agrees slightly, she knows in her heart it wouldn't have. "But yeah, I guess I'll spend my day here" I say, deciding I'd stay here. “Don’t you have work?” Dash asks. Pfft, Dash, telling me about work when she never- OH SHIT I DO HAVE WORK! It’s Monday! Mr and Mrs. Cake is expecting me! “Oh shit! Gotta fly!” I say urgently as I run right out the door. “I’ll lock your door, Jason” Dash called as I ran outside. Don’t worry, I trust Dash with my life and I know she’ll do it as a loyal friend. That's true friendship damn it! For now, I am 30 minutes late and I do NOT want to push it! Bye! Author's Note So, I'd like to thank axl bishop, whom has been kind enough to do pre-reading. Thanks man, you da real mvp. One more thing, anyone who wants to a pic for this story is quite welcome, I don't have money unfortunately but if you are feeling generous, feel free...ONLY IF YOU WANT TO! This chapter I guess you can call a chat chapter, nothing really much to the plot happens here but I like to show Dash and Jason in a friendship. Oh and the Cadence tag will be in effect soon, like a couple of chapters soon, so no, I don't have it there for decoration, although Shining Armor does if you know what I mean...you really don't because that was a lame attempt right there. Honestly, I like Dash as bluntly honest character, not afraid to speak her mind and sort of half a stallion in terms of understanding problems (What I mean is that if her exact personality were copied into a stallion it wouldn't be weird). One last thing, this story hit over 100 likes, that breaks milestone and record for me, thank you guys/stallions and girls/mares. One shot, One Relationship.It’s been fifteen days since some stupid law forced Celestia and I to marry due to a drunk bedding. You’ll be happy to know that one vile Starswirl the Bearded statue is destroyed. But as for Celestia, I haven’t heard from her, not even a letter, Luna, nothing. Is Celestia mad at me? It’s understandable is she is, my stupid ass challenged her to a drinking game and we fucked up literally and figuratively AND royally. She could just be trying to sort herself out or she’s like me, avoiding my problems until it comes up, well it's human nature isn't it? Somehow I doubt Luna would let Celestia just shy away from this thing, it doesn’t seem like her. Luna can use the “You think you have it bad? I was thinking about my mistake on the moon for 1000 years.” line or something similar. That said, I think the waiting’s over, I’ve had enough time to hope this was all some dream, this isn’t something I can just run away from, Dash agrees, she may be blunt as hell but she has some damned good wisdom. I have one spare day today courtesy of Mrs. Cake and Pinkie Pie, I’m going to see Celestia and talk this out, I don’t know how but it’s better than sitting around here with some constant bloody worries about the whole thing. So here I was, expended my bits on a ticket and am currently going up to Canterlot by myself, I’d have brought Dash along but the board at the weather team were poking their noses in again so Dash has to be at top form to keep her job and her house, if she did lose she might crash with me and in the future that may cause problems with the whole marry thing. I’d like those problems and I’d never thought I’d say it, have my job on the line from the board rather than the inevitable consequences of marrying Celestia. I am not stupid, I know they’ll be people who hate me, people who may even want me dead in the future for something or another while being married, that thought alone has scared me into a couple of sleepless nights. Celestia has also been my thoughts, when a Princess that raises the sun and end up being together it’s very hard not to, why does relationships have to hurt so much and we're not even getting started? 30 minutes later saw me at the castle waiting in line to see the Princess, most petitioners. About half of which were nobles with their head so high and further would put their heads stuck in their asses. The other half must have some pretty pointless petitions, I’ve seen some of them, some may be legitimate, but that’s none of my business. I never felt in common with these ponies right here, they complain like idiots on a forum on just about anything as long as their exercise their complaining rights. I guess that’s the price of caring, the doors opened again as a pony actually looked satisfied came out. “Jason Anderson? The Princess would like to see you in person” A guard walked up to me. Guess Celestia saw me coming, at least I’m not storming in the throne room demanding to talk to her. “Fair enough, lead on please” I motion him to lead me to Celestia. I follow the guard , just your standard white furred blue maned guard, they actually have enchantments for that stuff, apparently they used to dye but the manespray costs were unbelievable until the enchantment was discovered. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be guard, I don’t think I’d be brave enough, no knight in shining armor here…haha! Get it? Shining Armor? Twilight’s brother? No? Tough crowd. So a floor up and few hallways later I was shown the door I needed to enter and Celestia already in it. Here goes nothing. “Hey Celestia” I say as I do a nod in a casual way. “Jason” Celestia merely said. “Okay, you know what this is about so let’s get right to it, shall we?” I start talking. “Yes, I admit I have been…avoiding the subject.” Celestia admits See? Even the great Princess Celestia tries to delay her problems and that’s Not perfect Princess: 2 Perfect Princess: 0. Need to up your game there, Perfect Princess. “Fifteen days does say that, I waited for that long, not even a letter, I’d thought you’d have figured something out by now” I say, honestly thinking she'd have a solution. “It is not the most appealing idea as I am sure you must feel the same way. Luna suggested three months from now we marry, it has to be done by six months according to the law” Celestia admits her reluctance to marry. “That’s enough time, but for now I have a question for you and I want it to be honestly answered” I reply and express a question I've had for a bit. “Yes, do go ahead” Celestia waits for my question. “Before all this happen, did you ever…you know? Want a husband, maybe a kid or two?” I ask my question. “No, I have never considered a family, my mind has always been in my duties and caring for those whom I call close, but a lover, children? Jason, I cannot say I ever have had thoughts about such things. There was never time” Celestia pondered a second before giving her answer. “You’ve lived so long but you don’t have time? Forgive me if I am utterly confused.” I am confused by Celestia's logic. "May I inquire as to why you are asking?" Celestia wants to know my reasoning. I’ve been thinking, maybe I give this a shot, you know? Try to get to know Celestia, see how things turn out. “Well, I don’t know about you but these past fifteen days I just can’t forget it or push it away, this whole thing, you know? But part of me is curious, I want to give it a shot, this whole thing. URRGH! What I am trying to say is that…I wanna at least try getting to know each other like a couple, date each other for a bit and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t and we'll find a way from there and if it does than awesome, you get me?” I send forth my proposition “You want to “date” myself? Is that what you want?” Celestia looks for clarification. “Yes look, for the life of me, I don’t think I could go through with this in some sort of loveless relationship where we didn’t try. I feel like I owe it to you at the least try just once. I am sure you didn't wait forever for a love that didn't even have an inch-assed effort into it.” I explain myself a bit more “Hmm, I admire your thoughts but…” Celestia trailed off. “Just one try, call it a practice run for all those public appearances we’ll have to fake if it doesn’t work out if you like, you can’t possibly lose in this situation and either way you'll win something, just ONE try” I beg for that one try. Why do I want it so much? The day I found out I was gonna marry a Princess I barely knew, it shocked me, it felt wrong but I won’t be a cheating bastard, I won’t go to other ways to quench my thirst to make it feel right. I have decided to make this work, all I can do is await her decision. Also, I guess one of my worst fears is being a crappy husband to someone...or somepony now, I feel like Celestia deserves better than this facade. “You have convinced me well Jason, we shall give it a go, if Twilight can try something new and enjoy it, I do not see why that would rule me out to try something I have never tried out before, so yes, I will in modern terms "go out with you" Jason Anderson” Celestia answers with the greatest answer a guy could hear. YES! Wait, why am I so excited, I just want to see where things go, but that said progress is progress. Phase two of Operation: See if we can love each other is now in motion. "So uh, when's a good time?" I ask Celestia. "For what?" Celestia asks what I am talking about. "You know, a date. Go out for a picnic, a diner something romantic and do datey things" I say, explaining what dates do. "Oh, day after tomorrow at 7pm sound satisfactory?" Celestia asks me. "Yeah sure, where do you want to meet?" I reply. "Your place I will pick you up as a mare named Sunny Skies" Celestia says "Okay you'll pick me up but no on the disguise" I answer Celestia's suggestion. "Why not?" Celestia asks why I disagree on the disguise "Well it's sort of a lame disguise, I mean no pony in Equestria has a Sun in the sky as a cutie mark or anything near it, nopony has a pink mane or a man like yours and also the way you act is like nopony else in Equestria and besides, Pinkie Pie would scan you from a mile away anyway" I explain why the disguise is a bad idea. For those who don't know, Sunny Skies is Celestia's alter ego, white fur tall as a normal pony with a pink mane and tail. Her cutie mark is changed to a Sun with a blue background to symbolize the Sunny Skies deal, ponies are quite literal in their naming aren't they? Well I saw through it and Pinkie, Twilight and her friends did so as well but nopony else. "Hmm, I arrive to our date in my real form, this would be a perfect to reveal our wedding, they'll talk when they see us, and then the public will ask and then I reveal our marriage" Celestia says Eh, good enough for me, I can't think of anything better. "Okay, so about that date...what do you have in mind?" I ask And let the planning begin... Author's Note So to be clear here, Jason doesn't really LOVE or CRUSH on Celestia, he just feels he owes it to Celestia to at least give it a good attempt. Celestia is kind of clueless on love as she never really had time for it unlike Cadence, she considers her closest of friends like family but she's never really wanted a Husband or kids. Yes Yes, the Sunny Skies cliche, I downturned that one, one the reaction of when the two do date and two, Sunny Skies is kind of obvious anyway and besides, Pinkie Radar is not avoidable. Jason needs a suit for his date, you get three guesses where.So yeah, I sort of asked the Princess of the Sun out on a sort-of date, how many of you can say that for your bragging record? That said, I’m glad we’re at least trying this out, hell we’ll get to know each other better, so win-win. That was now yesterday, I had told Dash of course, fist-bumps had happened of course and we were gonna be on a “date” tomorrow. Only one thing, my suit looks like crap after the what I dub the "Clouded Flank" incident (I'll tell you another time), sooo…I have to see…her. Rarity, she’s gonna beg me out of details like some gossipy mare, she makes quality work and always was thankful for being able to make human clothes but still she’s a bit…prissy. But it’s not like I have much a choice on clothing stores so I have to see Rarity. One dreaded walk later… “Welcome to the Car-“ Rarity started her welcome greeting “Yeah yeah it’s just me, Rarity.” I interrupted her. “You know it’s rude to interrupt a lady” Rarity is doing the “Lady” lecture thing again. “I did know the last 50 times thank you. Look, can we get on with it?” I rolled my eyes. “Very well, now what is it you require from me today?” Rarity asks as she gives a business-like look. “Basically, a suit because I am going on a “date”” I say with quote fingers and preparing for the reaction. “YOU’RE GOING ON A DATE!?” Rarity yelled in shock causing me to fly up for 2 seconds there. “Sheesh not so damn loud!” I say feeling my ears to see if they were alright “B-But you…a date? I thought you didn’t entertain the idea of going out with ponies?” Rarity asked me. She wasn’t lying, I had admitted I didn’t have a desire to go out with ponies of this world but…guess that changed in one night didn’t it? “I do now” I answer. “Who? Who? WHO? Spare no details!” Rarity was literally begging me for details “Nope, won’t tell. It’s a secret” I deny her the identity of my date with the most Ha-Ha I know something you don't smile on. “Please? Please Pleasepleaseplease? Even something about her?” Rarity tried to get some details out of me. “Sure, she hot as the sun and she has a great smile, that’s all” I say with a troll smile “You are messing with me, I suppose that’s all I am getting out of you, follow me to measuring room if you please” Rarity sighed Now, I remember my first meeting with her, got told my taste of clothes were horrible…usually it’s the belly insult, let’s just say I had strong arms and legs but a fat belly, got a lot of fat jokes and then a lot of people with black eyes. Since then my physique is now fit so no more fat jokes and no ponies with black eyes, you may never call a woman fat to their face, but a man will generally get as violent results. Where was I? Oh right, she was really excited to make me some clothes, stuff about a challenge or something like that, proceeded to spend 2 hours getting measured and having her do designs, fun. Come to think of it, most of my first meetings didn’t go so well, even Dash and I had an argument and she thought I was some monster spy or something, we made up of course. Weirdest one had to be Lyra, that mare is…weird, examined my hands for 5 minutes and then she licked it and I was “NOPE!” and then outta there. “Jason, do you want a copy of your last suit or a slightly different design this time?” Rarity asks as she measures me. “Maybe a slightly different design, not too different just a different shade of colour, and I will need the suit by tomorrow night” I say to her as I decide for a different suit. “Hmm, very well, your mystery mare will want to see you at 100% dashing by the time I am done” Rarity says that my suit will be awesome and it will. So about that date, it’s gonna chaos the day after like you wouldn’t believe. I know I have gone over it, but I really want to go over it again to pass the time here. So here’s the skinny, Celestia is not gonna do some speech saying we’re getting married, rather we’re having a date and Celestia is not gonna be in disguise so everypony flat out knows we’re dating and then when they ask, Celestia and I say we’re getting married and they’ll all be like HOLY FUCKING SHIT! It’ll be hilarious…in my head it will anyway. Point is, why tell things outright when ponies can just see it for themselves. Don’t worry Dash knows and her mouth is shut because she’s loyal like that, don’t ever change, Rainbow Dash. So yeah, Celestia is picking me up at my house and then we go out for a night picnic I guess you can call it under the stars and then we dine at a Ponyville restaurant, where everypony is going to see it there for the big reveal, cause we're diabolical like that. But enough of tomorrow night, I need my suit first. “Thanks Rarity, so I hear you tried to expand into Canterlot” I say changing the subject while getting measured. “Oh yes, but I couldn’t bear to go “Commercial”, but I suppose dreams aren’t always going to go exactly as you plan it” Rarity says casually. “They never really do. I wanted to be a video game designer but here I am in Equestria. Besides, where’s the fun in victory if it’s too easy?” I say my wisdom on the subject. “Very true darling, but I will keep my vision alive, even if it’s just a boutique, as long as I do what I love, I am happy” Rarity replies to that. “I also hear you helped Rainbow out of a spot with the Wonderbolts, so I also want to thank you for that” I add in another thing I have heard from Dash. “Oh that, while blunt and brash Dash can be, she’s still my friend and she deserves a shot at her dream as much as I do” Rarity says for Dash. I can respect that, friends that look out for one another, I guess it’s like Dash and I, I helped her get with Soarin and she helped me get accepted into this world despite our misunderstanding. I say we're about even. “Yeah, so will it be ready by tomorrow afternoon?” I ask Rarity if it will be ready. “It will be ready darling, your mystery mare will be swooning for you to take her into the night in just the right amount of romantic fashion and then you two kiss in the bright moonlight and-“ Rarity went all Romance like, so I am interrupting her there. “Blahblahblahblah, too much sappy stuff” I say real quickly “Oh…oopsy daisy, well I must get to work on designing your order, see you say, 2pm tomorrow afternoon? You can pay then” Rarity decides on a time to get the suit “Sure thing, thanks Rarity, you’re a diamond” I say as I leave the boutique. “Toodle-loo” Rarity farewells as I close the boutique. Yep, so the big reveal is tomorrow night and I have nothing else to do today or tomorrow. Dash is working right now so I can't talk to her, so I guess I’ll go home and do something, maybe catch up on the porn magazines...when I make sure nopony is looking this time. Oh don’t look at me like that, you don’t get any video porn here, dirty magazines are the best you get around here, especially since it has to be pony mares as well. Say what you will but Ponies can get those curves well just as well as humans can. Now believe it or not, there are actually Pony strip clubs, but ponies are naked all the time so I don’t get how it works but it involves a lot of stuff put on them and some good pole dancing…so pretty much everything a strip club has except the stripping part, it’s alright I suppose, I got curious and tried a lapdance and it was...weird. So why am I discussing this in my head in the middle of a street…I dunno, MAGAZINE TIME! Author's Note Yeah yeah, I know the Rarity into Romance novels thing being done but it's hard to not imagine her with some romance novels. Also, would Rarity believe that Celestia and Jason are together? Probably not. Picnic under the starsIt is now 5:30pm on the night of the date and I am mothefucking pumped! WHOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay not that pumped but still, doing things and at least giving this thing a shot, that's what I am here to do and nothing else. I am at my home with the suit I picked up from Rarity, I had shaved my face down to reasonable levels, moustaches and beards are not too popular here (And a beard reminds me of the Starprick the Bearded), so it was clean shave. I did my hair up a bit too, you never look half-assed on a date, girls can and will notice since they are the masters of looking perfect and I am sure our sun-goddess Princess can tell a half-assed looking pony to a well-presented one. I remember when I was 16, a good 7 months before I was teleported (I am 20 now, been here about 3 years, go figure), I ended up being the comfort cushion as I called myself for being the shoulder to cry on and someone to hug when relationships broke in high school, and they broke a lot. What do you expect when girls constantly date self-absorbed asshole men and the leave the good guys behind? I guess it's about time I went on a date oh I could hear Joshua Gordon going in my head about that. Yep, the girls never learn back in high school…I just realized I never technically passed high school, not like anypony cares here, it was a month off anyway. I wonder how they are all doing right now? Probably in university or in some job that may not be the dream job. Anywho as for me, I have a date with the Princess of the Sun, was I looking forward to it? Well yeah, we have to marry and I’ll be damned if it’s gonna be some long boring relationship with fuck all happening. I’m no bastard, I don’t go sleeping around with multiple women, I don’t fuck somepony and say “See ya never, bitch”, If I am to marry, I’m gonna be a fair husband damn you! That’s a Pinkie Promise. KNOCK KNOCK! What? 6:58? Already? Did I spend an hour and a half doing this? Good thing I’m ready. I open the door and there’s Celestia and… OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD! She’s….she’s...so damn beautiful! Look at her! She’s got a dress on that’s pure white and yellow at the edges, her wings are out and I swear there’s pure light coming out of her, that or the my brain has the romance mode on. Bottom line, holy shit ona fishstick she’s hot! Hot as the sun she controls…I’m in love. Get that jaw back up, Jason! You look like an idiot! You can still salvage this greeting. “Wow Celestia, you look...stunning” I say as I look her up and down. “As do you, Jason. Now, shall we go on our date?” Celestia asks me. “Yeah, let’s go” I answer, ready to get this show on the road. I grabbed a couple of snacks that were in my basket as we left for the outskirts of Ponyville on a hill, we decided to teleport at first and then reveal ourselves as we go to the restaurant to make it official, otherwise I would have spent all the time here. The stars and the moon were quite nice tonight, I wonder if Celestia had asked Luna a favor, I’m surprised Luna didn’t come to kill me the last two days, I guess Celestia told her to back off or Luna is letting me do this to an extent. “What a beautiful night it is” Celestia comments on the sky. “Luna must be being on her A-game for tonight it seems” I say to her, knowing full well Luna had been asked for this beautiful night. “Yes, Lulu was always one for showing off beautiful nights whenever somepony close to her would date, although it was only ever a select few” Celestia mentions this fact to me. I laid out the Picnic blanket across the grass, we weren’t gonna get our dress and suits dirty now were we? “So, I must confess something, I am extremely as they call it, negligible in the art of dating” Celestia confesses. “Really? I’d have thought a Princess like you must have picked up a few tips over the years” I honestly say my thoughts “Oh, like with Cadence? I’m afraid my idea of love is highly outdated, I remember when potential suitors would attempt to woo my heart over in the early days by sword-fighting and romantic gestures. In modern times, that sort of thing is considered something you would see in a romance novel full of cliché.” Celestia admits her love knowledge is very outdated “So, not even a romance novel in the least?” I ask her. “Not in 200 years and much has changed since then” Celestia answers. “Oh well, to tell you the truth, I have never dated before either and not too knowledgeable on dating customs here” I admit my lack of knowledge too. Yep, the pair of us are amateurs. A Sun-Goddess and Exotic one-of-a-kind human in Equestria are amateurs at dating. “Do tell, what are some dating customs of your world if you remember?” Celestia asks with interest. “Well usually it’s romantic for a guy to pick the girl up, the guy pays the bill, they would tell each other about themselves and things just go on from there, either it ends up being completely boring or it ends up great that a second date ends up happening or maybe even some love happening” I explain my knowledge of love. “That sounds much like what I have heard on love” Celestia says interestingly enought. “I don’t see why you couldn’t have asked Cadence, she’d guide you on Love and probably do it instantly” I ask why Cadence’s help couldn’t be used. “She was busy” Celestia answered in a "I may have forgot" tone. “Okay, fair enough. So uh, you want to start on some of this food?” I ask her as my stomach rumbles. “I have not eaten since lunch time so I would very much like to, what have you brought?” Celestia answers as the conveniently timed rumble in her stomach makes its mark. “Well, there’s some hay sandwiches, Bon Bon’s delicious candy and of course, some rich chocolate mudcake” I answer, knowing she'd like the last one. “There’s cake?” Celestia’s interest has gone up exponentially “Why yes there is, I know how much you like cake” I say that with an all-knowing smile. Okay so funny story for you. You see, Celestia has a diet pony…I forgot the term, and she’s evil, so evil that she forbid cake from ever being consumed, it is the most evil you can get in this country. Of course, Celestia was having none of that so she did what every sensible being does, cheats on the diet. You have three guesses where she goes to and that would explain how I know. Yeah, she went to Sugarcube corner in secret, she convinced Mr. and Mrs. Cake to give her cakes in secret every few weeks or so at the back door, she’d pay the bits and run off with the cake without nopony any the wiser, she thought she could hide it but I knew too. So yeah, guess you could call that little thing Cake trafficking directly into Celestia’s stomach. The best part? The diabolical diet pony hasn’t found out yet, so ninja mode over here. Oh yeah, that all happened after the whole Gabbling Gums incident or whatever it was exposing Celestia’s love for cake and my love for Rainbow Dash at the time, those devilish crusaders. One of these days those kids will get hurt, I swear. “You know my tastes too well” Celestia comments as her mouth literally drools Cakes, Celestia’s turn on button. Take note, any future suitor that comes for her after I die, for any reason that you would try take Celestia. “I may have observed some cakes going out the back door if you get my drift” I say to her. “She hasn’t found out yet” Celestia tells me as I know of whom she is referring to. So we proceed to eat some cake, but right now my thoughts are arguing, I’d wish they’d stop. ‘Okay, so this date is going all right so far gentlemen’ I think to my thoughts…that made no sense. ‘Well? You are eating chocolate cake with the hottest fucking Princess ever, you are our hero Jason!’ Heart says waving a #1 giant hand thingy. 'Whoa there, don’t get too cocky there, this date only just started, anything can happen’ Brain reasonably says to me. ‘Yeah, I know not to diss Murphy’s law’ I roll my metaphorical eyes. ‘And not to annoy Luna too, she’ll kill us if we do’ Heart adds in. 'Look man, all I am saying is that if you play your cards right, you could get a happy relationship’ Brain puts his point forward ‘Yeah don’t worry, I got this’ I say to Brain ‘Just as long as you don’t screw it up’ Heart says ‘Like I said, I got this’ I say, ending the conversation So we then proceeded to eat some more food…very delicious slightly fattening food. I think it’s been twenty minutes by the time we are done with our food, next conversation. “So do tell more about yourself” Celestia asks to describe me more Oh god not that question...who am I? What am I? What do I say? AHHHHH I HATE THIS QUESTION! Just say saything “Well, I guess I am twenty years old, work at Sugarcube Corner, never been kissed…unless we did that while doing the thing, a blunt person something and overall just am a chill guy” I describe myself really quickly. When somepony asks me that question, you just forget all your qualities you know? I think I did well on the question. “You sound like you are a laid back gentleman” Celestia comments “Well, I try to not let things get to me, so what about you?” I return the question to Celestia. “Myself? I can’t say I am too much of interest, I am an immortal Sun Goddess, I rule Equestria with Luna, I do my best to make sure everypony is safe, I care for even the tiniest of my subjects and I love cake” Celestia describes herself. “Very interesting, so uh, first date in all your life, how does that feel?” I ask awkwardly “Well I’d say it’s doing just fine, I admit having no idea what to expect once again, it makes a nice change from listening to nobles or planning how to make sure Equestria stays safe, I feel like I am with Twilight on our talks back when she was my student except I feel a difference and I am not sure what is so different about it at the same time” Celestia says We just paused for a while and Celestia's eyes, can you stop being damn beautiful for five seconds, I am trying to concentrate. “Well, this is kind of nice, just chatting normally getting to know each other, sure beats just trying to get to know a random chick and have them say the “I have a boyfriend” line on me like back on Earth” I say after a while. Those lines are the worst, you just can’t tell if they do have one or not because the situation is so awkward that you end up not contesting the statement. “I can say the same, so long it has beem since I have such a refreshing conversation with somepony that isn’t Twilight or Luna. I confess that I would very much like to do this again” Celestia says “I do too, shall we get on to the reveal?” I ask Celestia “I suppose we must, as much as I would like to do this for the rest of the night, we have a reveal to do” Celestia answers Celestia looks like she would very much rather be here than revealing our marriage. I feel the same way. The pair of us got up, packed our picnic up and Celestia teleported us to the outskirts of town not too far from where my house was. (Celestia had snuck some cake down and teleported the picnic stuff back to my house, nice try Celestia I saw that) It was time to get this over with…unfortunately… Author's Note So, our two datees...is that even a word, anywho, turns out the pair are kind of amateurs at dating. Anywho part II of the date is coming up, stay tuned (Or i'll summon the demon bunny on you, don't think I won't do it) Oh look, turns out I was Dating Princess Celestia the whole time...oops.You know, the picnic under the stars wasn’t so bad after all, but now it’s time for the reveal, the revealing of where the public knows we are marrying. You know that shit-eating grin you get when you suddenly have won a prize and now you’re sort of showing it off to everybody as they’re stating at you in jealousness or awe or something similar? Yeah that’s happening right about now, except I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I am kind of trying to do the “Oh yeah, I’m dating Celestia,” all like it’s nothing special. So it was eight o’clock at night, ponies were still out and the ones that were out were turning their heads speaking along the lines of “Is that, Jason…and Celestia!?”. It was glorious confusion, oh such glorious confusion. I mean ponies were literally coming out to see for themselves so much that they may have seen Jesus walk through town…well Celestia is a goddess of the sun…soooo it’s close I suppose. We arrive at the restaurant, it’s like the only restaurant you’d sort of date at in Ponyville, I mean don’t get me wrong, there’s Sugarcube Corner, Hayburger and stuff but they’re like lunch time catch up places or something. Anywho, Celestia speaks up. “One table, reserved under Celestia” Celestia says all casually to the guy at the front desk. “Your highness, it is good to see you again, I shall lead you to your table” the pony lead us both to the table we reserved “Thank you very much” Celestia thanks the pony as we get seated. “You are most welcome, your highness and to you too, sir. Though I must ask, forgive me, are you two…dating?” The pony asks us very curiously “Dating? We are actually engaged” I say to the pony with a grin. “Y-You’re marrying?” The pony was in disbelief. “Yes, that’s correct” Celestia clarifies. The pony then fainted on the ground…was it something I said? Poor stallion, thankfully another waiter showed up to take him somewhere else and then left us to our menus. “I do have that effect on ponies, this is not the first time a pony has fainted in my presence” Celestia says with a smile, apparently not too concerned about the pony. “I’d imagine so” I reply. Imagine if all her life not one person ever fainted…that’d be a damn record. “So, what’s being a Princess like?” I ask curiously. “Oh, I would say it has its ups and downs, I love ruling a nation but I some of my subjects can be a hoofful” Celestia says “I see, I don’t see good things from some subjects, especially the nobles, between you and me but I honestly hate Prince Blueblood, that guy needs to be dumped at the bottom of a well” I say truthfully. “I rather dislike him, but I do not think dumping him in the bottom of a well would solve problems” Celestia says to me. “Yeah, he would teleport, or we could cut of his horn and then throw him down the well” I answer back. “Jason, we are not going to throw Prince Blueblood down a well. (As much as the idea entertains me)” Celestia says sternly. “Awwww, so uh…” I start but a waiter comes back. “Your Highness, Sir, have you chosen what you would like tonight?” the waiter asks the pair of us. “I might have the Spaghetti please” I say my order. “A Hay and daisy sandwich if you wouldn’t mind” Celestia says what she wants. “Spaghetti and Hay and Daisy sandwich, will that be all?” The waiter asks. “No, we should be fine with those” Celestia says to the waiter. The waiter goes to get our orders, meanwhile there are some cameras outside the restaurant, took them long enough. Must have been here for 15 minutes by now. “The cameras are here” I say to Celestia, pointing in the direction of the cameras. “So they are, just ignore them Jason, they’ll click for a while” Celestia advises. “Do they have to be in the bush? Seriously, that bush is distracting.” I ask Celestia why they must be in that damned bush. “Oh paparazzi practically make bushes their trademark spot, you’d think ponies would learn by this point, also I notice my former student, Miss Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash have joined in on the spying” Celestia points out. “Huh?” I look around Celestia was pointing to the left of the cameras and sure enough I saw the four ponies who immediately ducked after I looked their direction. “Oh, Rainbow Dash sort of knew but Rarity must of blabbed about me having a date when I got my suit, I didn’t say it was you” I say. “I understand, I have heard from Twilight that Rarity is a bit…gossipy, reminds me of a mare I knew in my early days, her cutie mark was actually gossip itself if you would believe it, had to use a spell on her to stop gossiping too many secrets” Celestia says in a matter-of-fact tone. You get three guesses as to what her profession was. But anywho, not much happened, I mean we talked for another 30 minutes, our dinner arrived (Very delicious by the way), and more talking just to make sure ponies found out and there were a lot by the time we were making our way out to pay the bill. Celestia being rich and all because she's a Princess tried to pay for it, but I was raised well damn you! I paid half the bill in the end and damn the expense! DAMN IT I SAY! Now there was a whole ARMY of paparazzi hanging outside the restaurant Celestia did us a favor and teleported the pair of to my house. We landed at my house, we turned the lights on and our date was at an end. “I enjoyed tonight, if I say so myself” Celestia starts the conversation “I did too, I didn’t know dating could be so much fun, the picnic part at least” I reply honestly. “Yes, I am rather a fan of starlight picnics, I must thank Luna when I get back.” Celestia made herself a reminder to thank Luna. “Celestia, I want to do it again sometime, just me and you under the starlight, I loved it, I really did.” I say honestly “As did I, when a suitable time comes, I will contact you, I only wish I had done this sooner” Celestia says truthfully as well. “Well, humans were never wisdom-ish in chasing a fair lady for a date” I put in my Earth experience of guys chasing after girls. “I do believe the same is with stallions” Celestia remembers that being the case. We just went all silent, you ever start to analyze everything or some thoughts just start happening…that was happening and right now it was Celestia, sure she had some hay stuck on her face but I swear she still have pure white light glowing out of her, that or my brain has forgotten to turn “Romance” mode off. Still, I swear there was music coming from somewhere too, that better not be the magic of music coming to claim my soul. She was just smiling, there’s something about that smile, it just tells you that the whole world could be burning, your end will be nigh but you still feel like you’re on top of the world and every little thing is gonna be alright. She looks like a damned angel I tell you, ponies don’t know what they are but the Angel depictions are lacking compared to her. I couldn't help but smile too, smiling is good for, builds happiness and stuff. ARRRGH! Enough of those thoughts, I was almost lost there for a second. Wait a moment, I’m staring into her eyes…so beautiful…wait she’s coming closer to me…what does that tell me when a girl is coming closer to your face? Brain fart right there, can’t help but noticing I’m going closer to Celestia’s face too…oh Kissing….KISSING! AW HELL NAW! Too late! Our lips were kissing…holy fucking shit! Celestia’s lips tasted like Strawberry cake…it’s like my lips were being given a blowjob…okay wrong metaphor or something but holy shit did my lips like it (You know? I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!). I kissed back and embraced it, not too late to pull back and…Celestia pulled out, uh not that pull out you dirty minded freak. Oh god, Celestia’s blushing…am I blushing too, I can feel my face heating up…did she realize what she just did? I know we just fucking kissed! “Wow…um…” I started “I-I have no idea why I did that...” Celestia stammers quietly. “No, no. It uh…” I couldn’t say what “It” was…my words weren’t working. “I-I better go, S-See you a-around, Jason.” Celestia says very nervously as she starts to trot off. Celestia just teleported away, leaving me in front of my house, I am very fucking confused…maybe I should either just get a drink or just go to bed…tonight has been fun but just then…I have no idea what the fuck just happened. One moment I was saying good-bye and then we just kissed! I just wanted to give this a shot, I didn't think we'd be KISSING! Wait until Dash hears about this one. I’ll hit the hay actually, besides, tomorrow is gonna be long.. Author's Note Yes I know, the Prince Blueblood is a jerk thing is here, but honestly, the show is really not helping matters and honestly, what are nobles even for anyway? "Romance Mode" is sort of what I call that moment when you stare at a girl and all the sudden there's damn effects everywhere making her pretty and music maybe in the background, I'd give a music to this but I honestly for the life of me can't decide, you choose what goes with it. This part of the date is meant to be the less sincere part in the story than the picnic, except for the accidental kiss of course...BECAUSE DRAMA DAMN YOU! Eyes are a Mind control weapon (See also:Breasts, butt, smile, those really long legs that are quite sexy for some reason)It was the next morning, I dunno what it is but…it feels empty around here…like something is missing…my house is small and there adequate stuff filling it so why does it feel empty all the sudden. I had remembered the kiss…I don’t know how I got roped into that one, all I know is that I don’t think I’ve felt emptier waking up to my room than I have now. What is this feeling I am feeling, THIS IS STRANGE! HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODDESS I AM DATING HELP ME OH HEAVENS ABOVE! KNOCK KNOCK! “Who is it?” I ask through the door. “Princess Cadence, a word if you please” I head Cadence’s voice “Then come in” I say to Cadence from my side of the door. Princess Cadence came in, she looked like she had teleported a long way to come here, I wonder what she needs me for. I have only ever met her once when she curiously wanted to see what a human was like, to be fair, although wouldn’t you be curious if the role were reversed? Maybe, assuming you aren’t going full Alien invasion mode or something. Princess Cadence is the Princess of Love from the Crystal Empire along with Twilight’s “BBBFF”, bleagh! What corny childish things Twilight is referring to her brother. I mean I know the two are close but childhood’s over Twily, you wasted it on books, remember? I wasted mine on video games and I have no fucking regrets…except I never 100%ed Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Damn you wasted youth, DAMN YOU I SAY! And I went off in a tangent in my thoughts again, anywho, Cadence just sat in a chair opposite me, and I sat in my chair. “So, what can I do for you, Cadence?” I ask her. “To give you a fair warning” Cadence says her intent. “What warning?” I ask Cadence. “It’s about you and Auntie Tia, I am not giving some “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you” speech, those speeches here will not accomplish anything in this case, besides, it’s chiche, but on to the topic. While it’s now out about you and Aunt Celestia now getting married, you have unknowingly ticked off the nobles” Cadence starts her point. Yeah, so? They’re always ticked and I just said that to Cadence by the way. “My point being is that the Nobles will be plotting against you, you have done what they call the jackpot, a marriage with Princess Celestia, the ultimate agenda, the ultimate prize to higher their self-interests. I know personally that Princess Celestia would never let that happen, which is why she has never been drunk publicly, the one time she messed up was with you, out of any being it was thankfully you and not by the hooves of a noble, the results would have been bad” Cadence explains her point. “How bad would it have been?” I ask Cadence curiously. “Celestia to them is like a dangerous powerful artifact, if one were to marry Celestia, it’d be almost controlling her considering Celestia cannot worm her way out, a loveless one-sided marriage, if the Noble wanted foals to continue the bloodline, he could do it and nothing would stop him by law. A Noble as a Prince of Equestria is something that must never be, Jason. This is why I am glad it was you and not a noble when I heard about the incident. It shames me to say it, but the nobles are the scum of the modern day society and they will plot against you, Jason” Cadence continues Shit, I may feel guilty about bedding Celestia but better me than them. I’d think I’d gladly do it again to stop them. “So how will they plot against me, will they try to kill me?” I ask Cadence what their measures might be. “Not unless they are too extreme, they see you as a threat to their agenda, they naturally hate you, they will try to discredit you, hope that it will stop Celestia marrying you or at the very least make you look bad in front of the Equestrian Public. If they start really wanting you out of the picture than perhaps, all I am saying is you need to be careful in the presence of nobles” Cadence tells me about their tactics. “When can I expect them?” I ask. “When you least expect it, they will not dare go too extreme or direct under Celestia’s muzzle. Listen, from what I’ve heard you’re a good stallion, much like my Shiny, but this happened to us too, which is why I am warning you now, keep an eye out and don’t trust the nobles” Cadence says And then Cadences teleports out, like not even a good-bye, rude. That said, I need to find Rainbow Dash, I need somepony to talk to. Meanwhile, at Canterlot Castle... “So Tia, how was thy date on the previous night?” Luna asks Celestia. “Oh? I felt it went rather well, we enjoyed a wonderful picnic under the stars and a splendid dinner at the restaurant” Celestia answers with a smile on remembering the date. “Was that really all, Tia?” Luna gave a I-know-that’s-not-the-whole-story look at Celestia. “Well Lulu…we may have…kissed” Celestia mumbled the last part while going red. “What did thou say?” Luna asks as she did not hear what Celestia said on the last part. “I kissed Jason” Celestia said at audible level as her whole body was red. “THOU WHAT!?” Luna yelled “THOU WHAT!?” Luna’s voice rang out through Ponyville Birds just started flying out from trees as Luna’s voice was so loud it shook Ponyville. “Good Celestia!” One pony says. “What does thou mean, thy lips kissed Jason Anderson’s?” Luna asks. “I-I don’t know, one moment we were about say our farewells and then…it just happened. I have no idea why I did it” Celestia says while going even redder. “Tia, what art thou thinking? If Jason falls in love, tis will be one-sided love just because of a kiss" Luna reacts to Celestia's reason. "I know, I know! I have no idea what came over me last night, I was foolish and it went against everything our parents taught us" Celestia says "Dost thou possibly have any feelings for Jason by any chance?" Luna asks. "I..." Celesta hesitated. In truth, Celestia didn't know how she felt, which was unusual, she liked to be in control of her emotions, something she will ponder over later. "Well?" Luna looks expectantly at Celestia "I confess I do not know what I feel, I need more time to figure out my emotions" Celestia says "Very well, should Jason dare try to hurt thy emotions, let us know and we shall have words" Luna says "That will not be necessary, I must get back to my duties, Luna" Celestia ends the conversation so she can leave. Celestia ponders for a while, these feelings have been in her mind since she left Jason last night. Could Luna be right? Could Celestia be experiencing the feeling of love? Perhaps she should ask Cadence, she might know. Back in Ponyville... “…And then Celestia kissed me” I say to Rainbow Dash “Whoa…” Dash was in awe. I had just finished telling Dash what happened last night over by a park bench just outside town, took a while, what? Do you know how long it takes to track down the Pony version of Sonic the Hedgehog? Seriously, if Dash ate Chilli Dogs, she’d get sued into oblivion, thank fuck she’s vegan (By herbivore species, not choice). “Yeah, it was weird, I swear her eyes were like mind control” I say to her, remembering how much of a trance I seemed to be in that moment only without the memory loss that usually comes with it. “Jasssooooon, I command you to kiss your Princess, wooooooo!” Dash does her best mind controlling voice while waving her hooves in a controlling motion. “Ha ha, but seriously, then Cadences comes up and warns me the Nobles are really pissed at me and may try things” I say what happened this morning. “Really? That sounds serious, Rarity still hates that complete swine, Blueblood for what he did to her at the Gala, apparently Blueblood even tried to sue Rarity once” Dash mentions that one time at the Grand Galloping Gala (GGG). “Tartarus hath no fury like a mare being thrown into a pie’s line of fire, scorned works too” I say. Seriously, Bluebitch is lucky he didn’t get slapped upside the head, if I were Rarity I’d totally do that, only it’d be a right hook to his jaw as well. RUSTLE! “Hey Dash? Is it just me or some of these bushes are moving?” I asked Dash as I look around. Seriously, I swear those bushes were not there before and a few feet back. Click. “Not just you, it’s them” Dash says. “Oh these guys, the paparazzi” I say to Dash “Yeah, let’s get outta here” Dash advises us to GTFO of here. Suddenly the Paparazzi knew they were found and they had questions and industrial strength cameras, the worst kind of camera there is. “Mr. Anderson. We-“ One of them starts “RUN!” I yell. Dash and I were literally going full Looney Toons running in the air before actually running off, complete with the sound too (probably Pinkie Pie). It’s time we made ourselves scarce… Author's Note So to be clear, The nobles aren't really aggressive ponies in terms of violence, they are just agenda ponies and anypony in their way gets crushed. Princess Celestia to the nobles is like the ultimate prize but highly unlikely, it's like the big one, finding the world-ending artifact, that sort of thing. The law was written in a time of better intentions and when Nobles weren't such scum. The Elements of Harmony are considered off Limits by Celestia herself considering dating one would bring a bit of fame around, but if the Element were to want to date the noble than that's just fine. Strangely enough in this headcannon, nopony really goes for Luna, the nobles still doubt her authenticity and plus there's the fact she could probably kill you if you crossed her the wrong way. Next up is the Paparazzi, they are pretty much like Earth with less technology Deus Ex Pinkie...are you really surprised at this point?You know what would be nice? If the Paparazzi would stop chasing Dash and I and yelling questions about Celestia and I, like seriously don’t you have better things to do? “Haven’t you guys got better things to do? Like stick your muzzle into Mare Neighdashian’s useless life that nobody cares about?” I ask the guys as we run. “Nope! She’s in rehab now” One of them says. “Again?” I say as I am running keeping my breathing right as I talk. “Well the therapists are bad at their jobs” The pony says again. No wonder, they celebs here are just like Earth, especially the Neighdashians and the Trottenners. Also explains why Twilight Sparkle was so damn crazy when I met her, seriously she tried experimenting on me. Come to think of it, the whole of Equestria is crazy! “Do these guys give up?” Dash asks me. “Not without a paycheck they won’t” I say to Dash. Thank the fucking goddess I am marrying I decided to stay fit, running from villains tends to do that. But I need a distraction…will it work? “LOOK! SAPPHIRE SHORES IS NAKED!” I point over to their right. They looked right and we disappeared…BWAHAHA! THE IDIOTS! I can’t believe they fell for that! Naked ponies, when ponies are almost always naked I ask you. How dumb could they possibly be? Anywho we were out of sight when Pinkie Pie opens a random door in the grass and urges us in real quick, since those guys could find us at any moment we ran right in and Pinkie shut the entrance. “Thanks Pinks” I said as I started to catch my breath. “You’re welcome, my hooves were going click so I knew someone was getting chased by the paparazzi” Pinkie says, explaining how she knew where we were. “And that’s why we’re here?” I ask. “Yep! This is one of my secret shelters, specifically for running from media emergencies, but also I-Feel-my-friends-are-secretly-smiling-for-my-benefit and let’s not forget the Holy-Celestia-you-getting-married emergencies.” Pinkie explains Trust me, better to accept than to challenge Pinkie’s reality, not because she’s right, it’s just better for your mental stability, trust me, with most of Ponyville being crazy in their own way, you don’t need any more crazy and if you need proof, just refer to the time Pinkie thought her friends didn’t like her anymore. Don’t get me wrong, Pinkie Pie is a great mare to be around, she cheers everypony up and all but she’s weird as all hell gone loose, you should of seen the time when she appeared in my mailbox. Anyway I feel we should be getting back to the problem at hand. “So um, how’s it going?” I ask “Oooh goodie, thanks for asking Jasie!” Pinkie says “What about you, darling? How are you?” I hear Rarity’s voice behind Pinkie Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy were behind Pinkie Pie as we noticed there was a room next to the one we were in (What? It was dim in here). “Hi Rarity, yes I’m fine” I answer Rarity Suddenly I know where this is going, they are gonna ask what the deal is with Celestia and I. “So, Celestia and you are an item” Rarity says with declaration. “Guilty as charged” I am not denying it at all. “How come you didn’t tell us? I would have made you a far better suit had I known” Rarity immediately asks me. “Would you believe me if I told you?” I ask Rarity in turn. “No but-“ Rarity starts “No buts, that’s my reasoning and besides, I would have been in that shop for the next 1000 years as you beg me for details” I say “You and Princess Celestia are an item? I-I thought you and Rainbow were-“ Twilight started “Look nerd, this was 2 months ago, we broke up then and now Celestia and I are together now, seriously, you’re so slow Snails would beat you in realizing things” I rolled my eyes Look, I want to clear something up here, Twilight is not my enemy, I just have a hate for her. When I landed here, she tried to experiment me, I was naturally frightened and pissed off, so I ended up getting free and punched Twilight in the back of her head and ran, but she was 5 seconds away from dissecting me. The Elements tracked me down along with Celestia and Twilight, I was not sorry for what I did, she was not sorry about what she did, she thought I was her science project, her attitude hasn’t changed. Oh and I disagree with her Princess of Friendship bullshit, you make 5 friends and save the world a few times and suddenly you are a princess of friendship? God complex right there, she isn’t even a leader, Twilight has done things because other ponies or even a impartial map told her to do something. That said, her existence is a constant reminder that bullshit can be quite high here and that this place is full of crazy ponies. “Y’all aren’t starting fights here, ya hear?” Applejack senses a fight starting. “Maybe” I answer. “Yes’ Twilight answers Applejack is alright, she’s damn honest and she freaking sucks at lying, fits the whole honesty gig going on here, I just wish her little sister would stop trying to blow my house up whenever Apple Bloom and her friends pass by with their crusader things they do. “All right, so here’s the deal. Yes, Celestia and I are really marrying, no it wasn’t too intentional because at that one party we sort of accidently bedded each other-“ I started explaining “You WHAT!?” Twilight yelled out loud. In Canterlot… “You WHAT!?” Twilight’s yelled voice was heard from Canterlot “Tia, we think thy former student’s voice was heard from here” Luna says “Oh, this happens quite a bit, you should wait until you tell her about a test” Celestia says Back in Ponyville... “Damn it Twilight! I need those ears!” I had my ears throbbing You think this is bad, wait until somepony tells her about a test, double points if you say “It’s just a test” to her face. “So anyway, we bedded at that one party and by some weird law we have to marry and Celestia can’t change it for reasons beyond me. So we have to marry, the reason we went on that date was to reveal the whole thing, although we did an actual date to try it out because I feel like I owe it to Celestia to at least give it a shot” I finish explaining “You and my former teacher…BEDDED TOGETHER! What possessed you to do such a thing?” Twilight said outraged. “It’s called Apple Cider, Twilight, go figure.” I got a deadpan look at her “But that still does not excuse you from-“ Twilight was still angry. “Twilight, I don't give a shit what you think, okay? And for all you know, Celestia could have started it, she's had lots of time to hold in some urges, if it really bothers you, go talk to her, you two are close, remember?" I give Twilight a deadpan look. "But-" Twilight tries again. "No Twilight, no buts, if you think I'm taking advantage of her, I am not and I have Pinkie Promised the living shit out of it, anyone else got any questions?" I interrupt her again If they had any questions I suppose they held them in, Twilight left the hideout and I think it's time for me to leave also. "Well then, I am going as I need to sort some things out the Cakes." I say as I make for the door. I left the secret hideout thing Pinkie had after making sure none of the paparazzi were around. This day just won’t leave me alone with things to think about… Author's Note So there's gotta be somepony who disagrees with the whole thing and that may be Twilight. Even in HIE, Twilight is ridiculously protective of those who try tarnish her name or not show flat out respect. I had lots of fun making fun of Celebrities and for those for have not caught on yet Neighdashian= Kardashian and Trottenners are the Jenners. Going to be honest I dislike them and I feel we should focus our attention on someone else don't you think? And besides, you know you should stop attracting attention when everybody is so sick of you they make a KardBlock. But yes, I Enjoyed making a few celeb jokes and quite honestly, who could blame me? As for Twilight, she won't be in the way of the whole plot she just disagrees with the thing. The Pancake joke is not appropriate for this chapter...you'll see why.Celestia is next to me, in her date dress again and we are outside my house again. The stars were shining behind Celestia but a sunny aura was glowing from Celestia herself. Her eyes were as beautiful as the planet itself, nay much more that the planet as a whole itself, I was getting closer to Celestia. “I had a really nice time out tonight” Celestia says with a beaming smile on her face. “As did I, Celestia” I replied back, a smile also on my face that would rival Pinkie Pie's. Our faces were close together until Celestia closed her eyes and went for the kiss, our lips were almost there annnndddd…. “Jason, you in there?” Dash asks. “Huh? What? Oh hey Dash, wassup?” I awoke from my daydream...unfortunately. “We’re almost at Canterlot” Dash says. Oh yes, we are on the train to Canterlot, turns out they want an announcement speech “They” being the public and Celestia told me about this so I have to get to Canterlot. Oh and Dash, how dare you interrupt my daydream? I thought we was friends! Nah only kidding, she’s cool. Canterlot for the life of me is probably going to be the death of me ironically. I mean there’s the nobles, the one place is a huge target for villians and most of the all the snobs of which I could knock them senseless if I could get away with it, like that Jet Set guy. The Castle is alright, it has Celestia and Luna around even though Luna scares me, it’d take somepony like Discord or Chrysalis to get to Canterlot although Chrysalis’ love drain was the only reason she won that fight with Celestia. But it was still old fashioned compared to other cities like Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Applewood and San Neighfrisco. Perhaps Celestia still has an attachment for the old ways or just the rich really enjoy antique things and old-fashion stuff. Or they are all secretly hipsters deep down. Suddenly a most laughable image of the nobles dressing like hipsters came to my head at that thought. When I got to Canterlot, the whole press was there, guess somepony told them all but Luna had come to teleport me to the castle. I swear I should be thankful they don’t charge teleportation fees cause it’s getting really handy. Hey, if they ever get out of a Princess job, they could always provide teleportation services or something. Right, back on topic! Luna is right next to me and we haven’t said a word in the minute we’ve been next to each other. I’m surprised she hasn’t started asking about the kiss, no way in hell Celestia didn’t tell Luna about it, it’s practically mare gossip. “So, we hear mine sister and thou kissed” Luna says probably sharpining knifes in her mind. Well there goes the surprise… “Uh, yeah sorta happened, no idea how that happened, heh heh, but yeah” I nervously say back. “Thou had better watch thyself in future with thou advances” Luna gives me that look. “Look she came onto me first while we looking into each other eyes, it was a trance and I won’t deny, I enjoyed that kiss” I say quickly. “Thou…what? Art thou saying thy kiss was enjoyable?” Luna asks “Yeeeesssssss…” I answer slowly FLEE YOU FOOL! FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIFES! “We art in acceptance with thy actions for now, but remember, if you go against mine sister’s wishes, force her into something or hurt mine sister somehow, thou knows what we shall do to thee” Luna gives a “You fuck up, I kill you till you’re dead” look. “I remember, so what do I do here again?” I ask to change the subject. “Thou will do naught but smile and wave at necessary points and just be present during Tia’s announcement” Luna explains. Where does that sound familiar? Oh yeah, Tirek Incident, Twilight complaining about being Princess is all smile and waving, at least you can fake confidence with it. Not feeling confident? Just smile and wave! Approved by our local crazy Princess, Twilight Sparkle. Call now and you can receive a one-on-one lesson by the Princess herself. The doors open and Celestia comes in and hugs me with a kiss on the cheek…in front of Luna… ‘Does that mean we’re technically in a relationship?’ Heart asks ‘DANGER! MASSIVE HEAT LEVELS DETECTED ON HEAD LEVEL!’ Brain was going haywire. My face is so hot, but her body is so snuggly and warm…what the fuck did I just think? ‘Oh quit denying it! You totally enjoyed that hug’ Brain says to me. ‘Jason and Celestia, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!’ Heart starts singing. ‘Oh shut up Heart!’ I told my heart to shut up. ‘Make me’ Heart challenges. ‘Fine, no dialogue for you for the rest of the chapter’ I accepted that challenge. ‘You wouldn’t!’ Heart is shocked. ‘I just did’ I said simply. ‘Wait wh-‘ Heart started but I interrupted him. ‘Byyyeeeeeee’ I finished him. So yeah, hug happened, Celestia just acted full like a happy mare for once, or a young one, like Lyra, when she’s not having a crazy fetish about my hands. You'd think she'd be more stoic, ah I don't even know, mares are mystery. “Hi Celestia, how’s it going?” I greet my fiancé “Very well Jason, yourself” Celestia says with the brightest expression. “Um, fine, nothing too positive, nothing too negative in the world, you seen Rainbow anywhere?” I answer Celestia question. “She’s outside, she’ll be waiting for you when we are done doing what we must do” Celestia answers my question. “So, just smiling and waving it is for me then?” I ask Celestia. “I’m afraid so, you rather remind me of Twilight around the Tirek incident” Celestia says with the memory of Tirek coming up again. “To be honest with you Tia, I wouldn’t want to be stuck smiling and waving, kind of be a waste of Princess power if you ask me” I confess my feelings. Yes I just called Celestia, Tia. And yes, I think smiling and waving is not the way to go, just the fake smiles and stuff, it makes your sanity die inside. Anywho, we go outside to the balcony and there is a crowd of ponies…I hate crowds, especially when you’re in them and some guy takes up all the freaking room and does not budge. “My fellow ponies, as you no doubt may know by now, Jason the human and Myself have been seen together in romantic interest, I will not deny this fact, in fact, we are soon to be married” Celestia talks to the crowd GAAAAASPP! What a twist! Oh wait, I’m the person marrying Celestia, of course it isn’t a twist! But seriously, it’s like Celestia told them she stabbed a pony. I look to Luna and she’s all smile and wavy, SMILE AND WAVE DAMN IT! Smile and wave, Smile and wave, smile and wave…smile and wave…smile…and…wave… ZZZZZZZZZZZZ… “Jason! Pay attention” Luna quickly hit me in the shoulder. “Oops, sorry” I whispered an apology. “Jason, would you like to say a few words?” Celestia says “Oh…um sure” I say I walked in front of the crowd to the right of the balcony as Celestia came next to Luna. “Um, hello citizens of Equestria, it’s with…great pleasure that I announce that I am indeed marrying the same mare who co-rules this fine kingdom and raises the burning ball in the sky that provides us the necessary stuff to survive. I do not take this lightly, as she is such an amazing mare that if I did hurt her as a mare by my actions, I’d encourage you to end my life there.” I talked to the crowd. A door opened behind me, there were two, once on the right behind me and the left where we came from, probably just Dash in the background watching, I’d think if she weren’t there she’d be hovering in the crowd. “Honestly, can you imagine such a great mare to be able to marry? Perhaps that’s how Prince Shining Armor feels about his wife, Princess Cadence, rest assured, Celestia and I will make sure we will-“ I continued on. BOOM! I suddenly felt my back get launched as I flew off the balcony and aiming for the slanted roof below…OH SHIIIIIII- SPLAT! To be continued… Author's Note Behold! The plot...stays relatively the same, but hey danger warning wasn't just there for the hell of it, Will Jason survive? OF COURSE HE WILL! What are you? Born yesterday? Unconscious events.(The following is in 3rd person) Jason had hit the slanted roof on the head and was beginning to fall close the ground when a Purple pony has flown to catch Jason, this pony was none other than Twilight Sparkle, whom had lowered Jason to ground level without causing further injury. Celestia was in shock at what events had just transpired but she quickly geared into action as the guards came to find the room gone and the suspect nowhere to be seen. “Find the Pony responsible! And bring that vile pony before me!” Celestia had ordered the guards in a way than made the guards fearful. “Yes your majesty, at once” The guards hurried off in a fright. There was an emotion that was not felt in such a long time, it wasn’t unfamiliar but now this emotion was burning in Celestia, this was Anger. Anger that would have made a less composed Princess scream out, somepony had dared hit her future husband off and potentially kill him in front of the crowd and out of Celestia’s sight. The pony who did it in Celestia’s eyes better had hope Jason lives…or Celestia may not have the composure to let that pony live. No, Anger was not the right emotion to call it, pure fury was more like it, one could swear her magic was taking on a darker shade. “Twilight Sparkle! Take Jason to the hospital this instant, Luna, you and I are going to find the pony that did this” Celestia orders Twilight and Luna “You can count on me, Celestia” Twilight says Luna said nothing but followed immediately, they didn’t failed to notice that Celestia was how Jason would describe it “Super freaking PISSED!”, but they were wise not to bring it up. (Back to First Person) ‘Jassooooon’ ‘Jasooooon…’ ‘Oh for the love of god, WAKE UP YOU FAT SLOB!’ AHHHH! Jesus! What just happened? Lots of pain in my head and everywhere…that’s right…I fell…oh no, I’m in some grassy field…is this Equestrian heaven, I’M TOO GOOD LOOKING TO DIE! YOUNG TOO! Speaking of which, who’s talking? “Hello? Somebody or somepony around?” I ask around. “If you turn around mate, you’ll find me” A voice says from behind I turn around to see a Pony of an orange colour of a Fanta like shade of orange anyway, just an earth pony too and he’s got a pair of wings and a horn for a cutie mark…that’s certainly strange… “Obvious question to ask, who are you?” I ask the pony. “Well, I guess you can call me your critical subconscious, the only reason I am here talking to you is because of your injuries and Equestrian magic too, and that magic is why I appear to you as a pony but in every other way I am you” the pony says “Well that’s interesting, but where are we? Besides the obvious green field with nothing in it” I ask my pony self. “Well you’re…how do I explain this? Um…in the deepest part of your mind, what you are right now is your primary soul, the fields are meant to represent a calming peace in case of the body about to literally die” the pony explains. “So, I am not dead but I could be dead?” I ask. “That’s correct, you hit your head on that roof from quite a height and then you broke your leg as you landed a second time on the roof and I suppose somepony with wings must have saved us because I doubt we’d be as lucky to survive that fall from say, at least 5-10 stories high?” My subconscious reports what happened to us. “Ouch…I am definitely gonna feel that one when I wake up” I comment. “You will, but that’s all I know from here, not omnipotent or anything as I am just you as a subconscious” Pony-me says. “Damn it! I was hoping for helpful pieces of information that would be unrealistically given” I said in a disappointed tone. “You and me both mate” Pony me was also disappointed. Yeah, we’re gonna be here a while and no video games, ice cream, cake, nothing over here, this is gonna be a looooooong limbo or whatever we are in right now. Approximately 1 and half weeks later… {Back in 3rd person) “Your Highness, there is still no signs of the suspect at this time and-“ A guard had been forced to give a status update when Celestia came in for an update. “And what? It’s been a week and a half and not one sign?” Celestia’s temper was rising. “But it was so sudden and-“ The guard started but it was a wrong move. “I have had it up to here with excuses! SOMEPONY has dared to attack MY future-husband in front of me! If I were you, I would stop making excuses to your princess and start getting me results before I lose my patience and believe me, my patience needs a microscope to be found, am I getting clear to you?” Celestia had raised her voice at the guard. The guard was nodding his head off with a bow. “Yes, your highness” The guard says in a low-voice. “Tia! Take a trot right now” Luna says from the doorway Celestia was angry, but not angry enough to take it out on her own sister and instead took her own sister’s advice. “We art sorry for our sister’s actions, as you know, she is under a lot of stress from what has happened. But it would be advisable to pick up the pace” Luna apologizes for her sister’s outburst. “It’s alright, your highness, I know friends who have had loved ones almost lost, I should have known better” the guard shakes his head It is sad to say that this was not the first time Celestia had such an outburst in recent days, but why wouldn’t she? Somepony had dared to push Celestia’s future husband off, almost killed him and now the suspect is nowhere to be found? This angered Celestia to the point at times that her mane and tail were literally burning. Fortunately, Ponies took notice and left her alone. Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Luna had hoped for Jason’s waking up to have happened by now but it was not the case just yet, but they hoped it was soon. Angry Celestia was starting to scare ponies and she wasn’t herself when she was most angry. Twilight had been saddened that she had to catch Jason that day, not because nopony else did, it’s that somepony would do such a thing and saying it again, in front of royalty, she kind of realized her actions were rather in the wrong. Dash was at the hospital day and night making sure the would-be-killer doesn’t come to finish Jason off. As for Luna, she was never too happy about the forced marriage deal, but as Luna has been reminded, there are much worse ponies out there, so Jason should be given a shot when he wakes up.. Long story short, the three of them wanted justice be brought down hard to the pony who did this, although Celestia in her anger may have…more extreme ideas. (Back to First Person) “Okay seriously, is there any other background than green grass and blue skies? THIS IS DRIVING ME TO INSANITY!” I asked in annoyed expression. “I’m afraid not, mate. Turns out your brain just can’t download some other backgrounds or something, but if it helps, you should be waking up soon” The pony-me says. In my mind this place was driving me insane, you’d think this be peaceful, but after what feels like an eternity this place is driving me insane…I have an apology to give to Discord when I wake up. “So Jason, while we are here, there is one thing I’ve been meaning to ask you and that’s Celestia, you’ve been with her a bit and you still haven’t said you loved her” Pony-me says. “Eh? I don’t reeeallly love her in that way” I lied. “Liar, I am you remember? You can’t lie to me and besides, I know your dreams with her in them, even the daydream of you two kissing, I’d say there’s plenty of feelings there” Pony-me says. “Oh fine, I love her! It started off as some wish for her to have at least a decent emulation of a proper relationship, she deserved that much from me, after that date and that accident kiss I just…imagined myself spending time with her and then all the romance stuff comes afterwards” I reply more honestly. “See? Was that so hard? Now, confess those feelings to her” Pony-me says. “What!?” I yell. “Well if you love her, she should have the right to know and besides I’d say she’d love you too and before you argue, before we were pushed off, she was so happy to see us and she wanted to spend time with you. She definitely loves you pal” Pony-me explains his reasoning. “Fine…I’ll do it when I wake up." I say to my subconscious RUUUUMMMMBBLLLEE! “Oh that’s the waking up sound, well pleasure to meet you Jason and go get her for all our somehow-talking body parts” Pony me says his goodbyes quickly. “Good-bye me of the critical conscious, it’s a pity I might not meet you again” I say, shaking his hoof before I left. The place was swirly and sounds were coming in my ears like speech…loud sounds… 2 weeks after the incident… (Back in Third Person view) A Cloaked figure had entered the castle and was heading towards the hospital part of the castle, it was a unicorn of dark green colour and he was wearing a batter old cloak to conceal most of his identity for what he was doing in this castle was not something of positive will. He was finally in front of the door of the target he had meant to finish a fortnight ago, with his target out of the way, his master can move on to his plan to earn Celestia’s favor. His hoof was on the handle and he prepared to finish his target off, it was time to finish this… Author's Note Oh what's that? You wanted more cliffhangers? Well why didn't you say so? But yeah that Third person and first person thing will only be here for this chapter only and the slight beginning of the next chapter rest assured. The most escalating waking up you'll ever see...maybe.(3rd Person) The culprit to pushing off Jason Anderson was just outside his door, one would think he wouldn’t go anywhere near it but Celestia was looking all around Canterlot and nearby towns and cities, she’d never think to look inside her own castle. He creaked the door open expecting it to be empty besides Jason at this hour but as he closed the door behind him, he found Rainbow Dash staring at him. “You! You’re the one who did this aren’t you?” Dash said when the intruder drew his knife, there was no fooling her. “Very observant…for something so obvious, I mean would a pony Jason doesn’t know with a hood and a knife come for hugs?” The culprit rolled his eyes. He had not expected the Element of Loyalty to be here, however, the blood of loyalty could prove a bonus as she is friends with another annoyance in the noble’s side. Dash charged, this pony will pay for what he has done. (Back to first person…forever!) Urgh…my lord, I feel like shit, my head feels like it, that noise next to me is not helping…at least my eyes can open but my back feels glued to the bed. I open my eyes to see Rainbow Dash with a pony with a knife…………OH SHIT! I got to help her! I go to get up but OWWWWW LEG! NOW IS NOT THE TIME! Let's see, Um...red button to my left, if it’s like Earth hospitals on TV than it must call for help…come on arm…make it. SLAM! Okay help is on the way but I got to help Dashie…come on leg! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS! There we go, ignore the pain, you can feel it later, alright Dashie’s attacker has his back turn now to… “AHHHHHHHH!” Dash screamed in lots of pain. No…there’s a knife in her side and oh no…please no, she’s not moving…NO DYING NOT NOW! I only just avoided death, you are not going in my place! Besides, Fluttershy and Soarin will kill me. And he’s turning around, shit! “Coward! You attack me from behind and now you try to kill me in my sleep? Have you no shame?” I had anger in my voice. “Why have shame when you can get rewards for no shame at all? And besides, I don’t get my full pay if you don’t die” He says to me. There was no fucking redeeming that guy, and somepony had him come after me huh? He charges at me with the knife and pushed me back but I hold the pony's hooves with my arms, thank my beautiful sun-goddess they aren’t broken…but I can’t hold on…especially this fucking leg is on fire! But this guy was focused, my arms are tired and I can’t hold on much longer…no…he hurt Dashie, you got to hold on Jason. For Dashie, for my friends, and for Celestia. BAM! I saw a pure white light literally blast my attacker through two rooms and then I see Celestia go light speed in those two rooms and she was PISSED! And I thought Luna was scary. I see Dash next to me with a gaping wound in her side…the hospital staff were still coming, what was taking them so long? I put my hands on Dash’s wounds, I don’t know much but pressure helps…I think. Come on Dashie, hang in there, you’re my sis, us metaphorical siblings look out for each other. Dear Creator, I know I haven’t been the best person but please, do not take it out on Dashie. I promise I will improve if you let her live, just please let her live! “What’s going on here?” The doctor in the doorway rushes to me. “Attacker came over there, stabbed Rainbow over here, she needs more help than me, he didn’t stab me” I quickly explain. “Let me take over, I have this for now” the doctor says as he goes to assess Rainbow's stab wound. Nurses had come and the doctor got them to work on Dash as I got on my good leg and hopped to Celestia, surprisingly nopony stopped me, but in front of me was a Celestia so angry her mane and tail was literal flames, she was pissed beyond belief. “How DARE you try to stab Jason in his sleep! How DARE you try to murder in my own castle! I will end your existence right now, for your crimes against my future-husband, may the creator be spared such a sniveling coward put in her presence.” Celestia had boomed Celestia has charged her horn, she really was meaning to kill, he deserves it…no…not yet...he had to have had an employer for pay from what I heard from him, if he dies now, we’ll never find the guy. “Please no! Have Mercy!” The attacker panicked. “Your mercy was thrown out the window the second you attacked my fiancé!” Celestia shouted at him. The man truly was a coward, he gives no mercy and now he begs for it when the tables flip…I honestly think he deserves it once we have found his employer. But Celestia was about to kill him on the spot and I was almost there. “CELESTIA NO! DON’T KILL HIM!” I shouted as I got to her I touched her and she saw me for a moment but quickly looked back at the attacker again. “Why not Jason? He has done nothing but pain and torment because of his actions and he would do it again for blood money! His scum has poisoned my kingdom for too long!” Celestia had angrily looked at the coward at her hooves. Gee Celly, when did you get this way? “I want him as dead as you but there will be no true justice until his employer is found, he’s merely the hired muscle, if you kill him now, the true culprit will just get another pony to try again” I said with reason. Celestia was resisting every urge to fire off that killing shot. “This isn’t you right now, Celestia. The Celestia I know and love would show compassion, perhaps with my almost-death, you are tired of showing compassion to your enemies but if you kill, make sure it comes with purpose and nothing bad happens from it, killing him now serves no purpose at all.” I say. Celestia after a few seconds turned off her spell and her mane and tail went back to normal. “Tia, Jason, art the pair of thee alright?” Luna says from behind. “For now, can you handle this? Celestia and I need to talk…alone” I request of Luna. “We shall grant that wish” Luna agrees to dealing with the attacker. “Thanks and as for you, You are nothing more than a damned coward who if it weren't for one tiny thing should be dead right now, if you ever get out of a prison, than I suggest you stay the hell away from Canterlot, no revenge quests, no nothing. I have saved you from being burned to ashes even though I would kill you myself and it would be less than the suffering you deserve, got that?” I say to my would-be-assassin. He didn’t answer, I didn’t care. I told him what he was, I told him I could have killed him right there or let Celestia do it. “Let’s go Celestia” I say to her. I turned to see a nurse waiting for us, Dash was taken away somewhere. “Your Highness, Jason. Our doctors are fixing Miss Dash as we speak, thankfully the stab wound missed all the organs so she should wake up tomorrow morning, but she’ll need to stay for a few days.” The nurse reported. Dash won’t like that, she HATES hospitals, can’t blame her, seriously why are ALL the walls grey? Are they trying to depress the fuck outta everyone? But thank the fuck she’s alive or I might have changed my mind about letting that coward live. Also, thank that fucking red button too! “Thanks, is there a room Celestia and I can talk in private?” I ask the nurse. “Are you sure, you should rest your leg and rest in general” The nurse asks. “This cannot wait Nurse, I will rest after that I give you my word, also when Dash wakes up, can you let me know?” I ask of her. “Alright then, but rest straight afterwards!” The nurse says We started to follow the nurse to a room more private, there are many thoughts in my head, my infernal leg is still on fire, my head is full of thoughts and still hurts a bit, my heart has raced from the fear of both mine and Dash’s life. But I still have to talk to Celestia, what I need to say, it has been long overdue. Author's Note So yeah no more 3rd person stuff as our main character is awake...after 2 weeks. Pony technology inconsistency ahoy! So yeah, there will be more soon. And no cliffhangers...althoughonewillhappenwhenyouleastexpectitbecauseiamevil. The Love is in the air even when the world around us is destroyed in slow motion.My leg was still hurting but not as much as when I was trying to get up, it took a bit but I got to the room and I told the nurse should we be needed we’ll be here. As soon as the door closed I was in a seat and then Celestia hugged me like she never wanted to let go, I saw tears coming out of her eyes as she did. “Celestia, I’m sorry I must have caused you so much pain while I was unconscious” I said to her while in the hug. “No, it was not your fault, it was his, for the last two weeks, it’s been nothing but worry and anger, I almost lost you” Celestia said with tears still down her eyes. “And I almost lost you too, while I was unconscious, I was sort in critical conscious and I’ve been thinking too…” I trailed off. “Tell me, Jason.” Celestia kindly got me to carry on. “I can’t go any longer without telling you this, I almost died and it really makes you consider life choices. But I must confess this, every time I see you, I feel joy, every time we touch, I feel warmth and fuzziness, I look into your eyes and I see such beauty that I think is a crime not to appreciate, I feel like I want to spend time with you all day even if it’s just sitting and watching something in the background so I must say this…” I trailed off again. Celestia was looking at me like she knew what I was going to say, well here goes… “I thought at first it was the least I could do to make you have the experience you deserved after we ended up bedding each other, but after that date, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you in fact, I want to spend the rest of my mortal life with you…I…I…lo…I…oh come just say it! I love you, Celestia! I want to marry you not because of some circumstance but because I love you!” I confessed my love for Princess. Celestia didn’t answer but she smiled at a smile the would make Pinkie Pie jealous, it was a beautiful smile as she went straight into a kiss before I knew it. I’ll take that as a I love you too. The kiss was so passionate, for a mare that has only kissed a stallion once she sure is good at kissing. I could feel the love in it and we must have been going for two minutes before Luna came in, but before that I swore I swore my skin glowing a light blue colour and Celestia’s a light pink. Did I mention the best part of Celestia was the smile? That smile would be worth a war to get Celestia put one on her face. “Tia…art thou and Jason truly in love?” Luna asks from the doorway, we forgot to close it. “I believe so little sister, although we may have to ask Cadence on that subject” Celestia joked on that one. “Whatever will we do, Celestia? If we can’t find a Princess of Love anywhere however will we be able to tell if we love each other or not” I joined in on the joking “Verily funny, we art here to tell you the culprit is under high security, he has not said a word” Luna says in a serious tone. “I will talk to him tomorrow, for now, I believe someone needs his rest for now” Celestia says, looking at me. Ow! Leg! Your input was not needed there! Anywho, a nurse showed us to a more not-desolated room by a very pissed off goddess, say what you will but she was freaking scary and awesome at the same time, that’s who I am marrying, mares and gentlecolts. That said, a good rest is fundamental to recovery, I ain’t gonna be no fool and besides, I have confessed my love to Celestia and she loves me back and she’s next to me, I feel like as long as Celestia is around, I know nothing could happen to me while sleeping. So yeah…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… The next morning… Yaawwwwnnn…did I actually sleep so well? Then again, I see Celestia next to me reading a book (well it’s not like you can just play a DS or a 3DS to pass the time). “Morning Celly” I said as I got up. “Good morning to you Jason, did you sleep well?” Celestia asks with a smile. “To be honest, surprisingly yes after all that has happened” I answer. “Yes, I’m afraid I haven’t been quite myself, I have been quite angry and I will not deny it, I thought you were lost and if you did come lost, I may have ended up burning the whole of Equestria to find the one responsible” Celestia admits. “Well I can’t say I’d be on the moral high ground as I might have did that myself, what about Dash? Is she okay now?” I ask Celestia. “She’s alright at the moment, I believe should wake up at any moment” Celestia says. “I just feel so bad she put it on the line for me, Dash is brave, very brave and a loyal friend, something I wish I could have, I find it scary that somepony wanted me dead and I have no idea who it is, it’s one of the nobility for sure but which one?” I say to her Celestia stares at me for a moment and comes into thought. “We may not know who it is yet, but we will find out, and rest assured when we do find him, that pony will pay for what he has done” Celestia says to me in a serious tone. “As much as I want justice, I want you to keep your cool when you find him, if we do find who it is and move on, you’re having me or Luna around, you almost killed the guy out of blind rage, I want to know why he wants me dead and his motives” I say to her I have seen Celestia’s fiery form and I don’t think she will see reason a second time, as there was no pony it seems to lead on this time. What about me? I considered death as fair payment for my would-be-assassin, I flat out felt like I should’ve killed him right then and there. Is this who I am coming? A person that loves his friends and soon-to-be wife but comes cold to others? When someone wrongs him he deals ruthless blows, considers killing without emotion? That shouldn’t be me, but yet here I am, feeling like I should kill this noble when I find him. Ah, but isn’t it human nature to want revenge? An eye for an eye so to say, well if I killed him I’d take 2 of his eyes as he took 1 of mine so that goes out the window. But that aside, is it wrong for me to want to revenge upon the noble who wants me dead? Maybe, but would Celestia go with that? No she really wouldn’t, I don’t think she’d want to marry a killer, she’d want to marry the Jason she knows and loves. GAH! THIS IS ALL SO CONFUSING SOMETIMES! Just focus on the present, right now, you should get better and see Dashie, yes? Well, go do it! It was about 2 hours after I woke up, I had been told that Dash was awake and I instantly went to see her along with Celestia. I don’t think Celestia will ever let me out of her sight for a long time and who could blame her? And besides, with Celestia I feel safe even in the most dire of situations. I had been given a human wheelchair to go around in as that little episode last night had not helped my leg, my head still hurt a bit but it wasn’t needing to be bandaged to death, stupid leg almost got me killed with its pain act it was doing. I could manually move myself with the wheelchair but since Celestia insisted on moving me herself, I wasn’t looking a gift pony in the mouth so I just went with it. Anywho, when we came in, we saw Soarin (Dash’s boyfriend and Wonderbolt) in with Rainbow, haven’t seen him in a while. Soarin, he’s a bit of an idiot, like me, but I think if you haven’t been an idiot once, you’ve had a boring life, oh and tip, Apple Pie appeases Soarin’s taste buds if you ever need something to have as a peace offering. Back to the subject, Dash was wide awake and had been talking to Soarin whom had been worried sick (So was I, thanks for asking). “Sup Dash” I said to her “Jason, you’re awake!” Dash says as I came close enough for a hug. Sure the hug was a bit stretched but hugs are hugs. I know it's mushy but still we almost died so I AM ALLOWED A HUG DAMN YOU! “I honestly thought I lost you for a moment there Dash, I wouldn’t have lived with myself if I did lose you and Soarin here would’ve killed me” I said straight-up. “Well I wasn’t letting some low-life taking you in your sleep, not a chance in Tartarus” Dash says with a cocky grin. “Yeah, I saw the end part and all the sudden he stabbed you and then he went for me and thankfully I held him off and then Celestia here chucks him through 2 walls” I say to Dash. “That’s lucky, dude.” Dash says with a hoof bump. “Eh, not luck, just what happened, and I happened to have the most loyal friend ever, you are a true friend, you know that right?” I was thankful Dash was around. “I know, I AM pretty awesome, my Element of Loyalty gig ain’t going anytime soon, not now and definitely not for a long time, besides, I never leave my friends hanging” Dash says “Spoken like a true friend and a true Wonderbolt” Soarin adds in, whom was silent the whole time I was here. “Indeed, it was very brave of you, Rainbow Dash. I only wish I could have got here sooner to prevent the injuries, but what is done is done” Celestia praises Dash’s efforts. Actually, that raises a question I had in the back of my mind, may as well ask it. “How did you know we were in danger, Celestia? I mean the red button next to my bed I assumed was for medical emergencies so some doctors would have come but you came first” I ask my marefriend. “Oh? After the attempt on your life, I took no chances, I had a detection spell on the room in secret, if an unknown pony, weapon or anything to signify a life threat was detected, I would be notified. I also linked the button to my magic as well, so I got two notifications in which I hurried at once. Like I said, I take no chances when it comes to those I care about” Celestia explains So she had a ready alarm system with her magic, that’s…kind of neat and would be damn helpful in normal lives.. “So how come this doesn’t go into normal lives?” I ask Celestia. “While the spell is passive, it requires a constant flow of magic that a normal unicorn just cannot hold. If a unicorn knew of a danger, it could hold for a few hours but it is not the most effective defense to use when alone.” Celestia explains the drawback of the spell. Curse you, annoying drawbacks to all the cool stuff/ “Well that’s...highly inconvenient” I comment on that. “Yeah, what he said. What happened to the guy who did this anyway?” Dash asks from her bed. “He is under lock and key, but his escape chances a very minimal and I have placed all precautions to prevent his escape, he has not talked about his employer yet but we will find him” Celestia says as she had a frown as she thought about that pony. My leg was still in a bit of pain, probably should rest it some more, but there’s a thought that has just occurred to me, that whole fiery thing Celestia had, and the whole blue and pink aura Celestia and I had when we kissed, is that normal? Maybe I should ask Cadence that one, then again, maybe I should find out more about the mare I marry, if we’re gonna be together for the rest of my mortal life, I should at least know her. I don't know if Luna would tell me but Cadence was close and she is the Princess of Love, that aura thing happened when we kissed so I should go ask her. For now, Dash and I need our rest, besides, I can’t go anywhere with this infernal leg paining, how is that the head heals so quick, but the stupid leg takes forever to heal? This healing magic sucks. Author's Note What's this? No Cliffhangers? IMPOSSIBRU! Wait...it's totally POSSIBRU, what am I talking about? A talk with Cadence...Shining Armor is just there. (Like in the show but still better than the orange pegasus that must not be named)‘Attention! We are currently [Five Minutes] away from the Crystal Empire, please ensure you have all belongings with you before you leave the train. We thank you for riding with us and hope to see you again soon’ So it’s been two weeks later after that whole attempted stabbing at night deal. I was on the way by myself to see Princess Cadence to ask for her advice on things. Hey, I’m in love with the Princess of the Sun and I do NOT want to screw things up, so I need advice from who better than the Princess of Love? Oh, my leg is fully healed too now, thanks for asking! Good to be able to walk without THE DAMN LEG ACTING LIKE IT’S ON FIRE! I’m sorry, it’s just pain just really annoys me okay? Usually in the angry annoying way. But yes, I was glad to be out of the hospital room, grey is depressing as fuck! Dash can back me up on that one, she’s not here with me and neither is Celestia, although don’t think I didn’t spot the undercover guards sent by Celestia. What? You thought I’d be annoyed, not really, I understand how paranoid you can get after what happened, I just pretended I didn’t see them, hey they get paid for doing their job right...slightly, who am I to stand in the way of honest day's pay? It was also about time for a scenery change from disaster-prone Ponyville (that I love but still can be a pain sometimes) and the ever-busy Canterlot, I hear the Empire does have a good Crystal bath anyways. So the train arrived, thankfully no Crystal paparazzi came or something. It was so…room temperature around here compared to all the snow outside the empire. Well that’s because magic and shit, something about bubble making all this temperature inhabitable. You’d think this place be all artificial but it isn’t really. That said, there was a mix of normal ponies who came here after the Sombra incident and the Crystal ponies who are native here (Tip: Don’t ask them about their Crystal bodies, it’s rude. Also, Spike knows they aren’t edible) Overall, it’s a nice place, especially with a heart just burning with positive energy around the place. I got to the castle and like the rest of the empire, this place has a crystal fetish (Somepony out there has one, trust me, I know). But yes, it was quite nice and fitting unlike Twilight’s castle that seems to be rather out of place, and there’s Cadence and Shining Armor (Shining Armor I’ve never met before so yeah…) “Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor” I bowed politely I know royals generally tend to not like bowing, but my mother raised me to be a good human being damn you! And what a good mother she was, don’t think she’d agree with me marrying Celestia but oh well. “Jason, you don’t need to bow to us” Cadence says to me much like Celestia would. “I know, but I still am polite in my greetings in public” I reply back. “So you are the human marrying Princess Celestia? Congratulations on that first up, and second, a pleasure to meet you, I am Shining Armor” Shining introduces himself into the conversation. “Pleasure to meet you, you know me of course, Jason Anderson is my name” I reply back with a hand/hoofshake. I admit that Cadence is looking good, she doesn’t look stressed or anything…at least not yet because they are apparently having a foal, maybe one day I might have a child to call my own and I will make sure when that day comes, my child gets only the best from me that he can get possible, mark my words. “Shall we go to the dining room and converse there?” Cadence suggested. “Sure, let’s do that, lead the way” I agree to Cadence’s suggestion. I was following Cadence and Shining was along with me, he was a fair looking stallion, from what I heard, he’s no slouch when it comes to being a guard and military tactics, of course being the Captain of the Guard requires many skills, I think according to Twilight, his best magic is within defense, especially shields also the BBBFF thing is bleagh! The dining room was nothing special, it does its purpose just fine, we sat down as Cadence got us something to eat, I don’t know why, but trains tend to make you hungry despite having a bar carriage. “So, how are you doing since the incident?” Cadence asked casually. “Alright, leg was a pain, Celestia’s paranoid about the mastermind behind the whole thing but despite that, Celestia and I are madly in love, Dash’s stab wound has stopped paining and things have hit a low on the chaos meter, which is a good thing of course” I say. “Interesting, I am sorry not to be around during you unconsciousness, your fall impacted many security things for both Aunt Celestia and myself, but I will say that I did warn you about the nobles” Cadence says fairly/ “That’s alright, I should’ve taken a glance back in case it wasn’t Dash whom I thought it was. Although being close to death is not my idea of a fun hobby that I will be trying again any time soon” I reply back. “You told him about our troubles with the nobles, Cady?” Shining asks her. “In small detail, although they never went for the death thing straight up with us, but as Princess Celestia is their ultimate prize and it has been taken, I guess they were truly angered. It was a truly sad day, when nobles have finally gone so low as to flat out kill the future husband of their Princess” Cadence says sadly. It was true what Cadence says, it was truly sad but it also angered me, can they not respect what their Princess does? They are so self-centered and feel above everypony else, even the Princesses that it disgusts me so much that were I a more violent man, I might have initiated a purge on them. Even Discord pre-reform was not so self-centered, it’s hard to imagine the nobles 1000 years back as described by history as actually being noble. “Do you have any idea who it might be?” I ask out of curiousity. “No, there is no noble I know that holds a special grudge for you, there is Blueblood but he is so lazy he’d never do anything he’d threaten to carry out, besides, as much of a whiner and self-centered swine, that is my cousin, he doesn’t condone murder as a viable method” Cadence says “Any really violent types?” I ask Shining. “I advise you not to rule out Blueblood because of how I know him, that’s unwise. As for a noble, most of them I don’t think would beneath such things if it allowed them forward, the whole point of the noble art is to be rather subtle most of the time with your attacks upon others and that makes it the problem, there’s no sore thumb” Shining answers. “The one who tried us is still in Prison, he isn’t going out for a long time” Cadence added. “Well that’s not really enlightening” I comment as I was kind of hoping for a lead. Yeah, nothing was found out, Blueblood may be one but it’s just him being his bigot whiny self whenever I have encountered him, wonder if he has complained to Celestia yet? But to the next question I suppose. “So, for my main questions, when I was with Celestia that night I was attacked, when she was really angry, she gained flames on her mane and tail and when I showed her how in love with her I was, I saw a blue aura on me while we kissed and a pink on hers, does it mean anything?” I ask my next burning question. “For the first one, did she…do anything harsh or say anything like it that did not seem her?” Cadence asks out of concern . “Well she said flatout that the attacker’s scum has plagued Equestria for far too long and it took a hell of a reasoning to get her not to kill him” I answer. “Hmmm, this could lead somewhere…” Cadence muttered. “Cadence, dear? I think the pair of us are kind of confused here” Shining points out. Yeah, what is Cadence thinking about that could be so worrisome? “Talk to Luna when you get back but the natural anger is alright but she was planning to kill the hired muscle without hesitation. Jason, I think the worst case scenario is that there must be a Nightmare influence somewhere and somehow” Cadence says. “But wasn’t Nightmare Moon destroyed by the elements?” I asked Cadence. “Yes but Nightmare Moon was the most powerful Nightmare because she possessed Aunt Luna, but Celestia would’ve purged them after Luna departed” Cadence mutters the last bit. Wait what? There’s more than one Nightmare? How does one deal with all of those? “So how is there more than one?” I ask. “Simple, they are a rare but powerful dark race, they aren’t too sentient alone but inside a body they can know anything about the race they can as well as the pony and exploit all weaknesses, that’s what happened to Aunt Luna. Once inside and in control it amplifies everything that can empower it and convert it into dark energy, put that on an Alicorn and you can see why the Elements were needed” Cadence explains Cadence seems to know a lot more than she lets on, she couldn’t have been around as long as Celestia and Luna have been. “So, how do you know all of this?” I ask. “Simple, I did the same thing as you Jason, I asked, a few experiences here and there helps sharpen the knowledge. But bear in mind, there shouldn’t be any Nightmares left, Celestia purged them all in a legendary anger so furious that the planet could feel her anger, this is the absolute worst case scenario and I do not believe it will happen, but it’s best to know just in case” Cadence answers. “And the best case?” I ask. “Hopefully she’s just still angry about what happened and she’ll calm down once justice is finally served. I see you as a bright human, if something bad does happen with Celestia, I hope you do what’s right in that situation” Cadence advises. It’s then I notice Cadence is much wiser than ponies make her out to be, she’s just not the “extra” Princess before the Empire or just the Crystal Empire’s Princess, she has wisdom, experience and behind a pretty face, she knows more things about the behaviours of ponies than normal. It kind of makes me respect her. “What about the latter part of my question? The Blue and Pink aura thing we had when Celestia and I kissed” I ask them. Cadence and Shining Armor smiled at the same time. “A most wonderful thing Jason, it’s a signal when the pair of you are truly in love.” Shining says with a smile. “What?” I said in confusion. “It’s an Alicorn thing, when the Alicorn and his/her partner are in true love, a powerful blue and pink aura go around the couple. This power is how Shining and I repelled Queen Chrysalis from our wedding” Cadence explains. “So that Aura was by Celestia, which was by Celestia and I’s love?” I ask Cadence. “Shining also felt the magic, as it’s magic forms by two ponies, I’d be willing to bet that despite your race’s inability to do any magic of any kind, it may be possible for you to have some here, either that or Celestia’s magic seems to be have compensated for your lack of magic” Cadences says. “Well that seems interesting, it would be cool if I could do magic” I say. Suddenly Imagine magic coming out of my hands like a laser and going all like PACHEW! “Is there anything else that needs to be discussed?” Cadence asked me finally after a bit of imagination. “No, no there isn’t, thank you, Princess Cadence” I decide to end the conversation. “Just Cadence is fine, when you marry Aunt Celestia, you’re in my family, Celestia and Luna’s family too. I wish you good luck until the next time we meet” Cadence said goodbye as we stood up and towards the door. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay here?” Shining asks. “Nah, I think the Cakes have missed my presence for long enough and knowing Pinkie, she has a party all set up, haven’t been back in Ponyville for a good month.” I say to Shining. “Well, if you ever need a bro talk Jason, feel free to come talk to me, you may need it” Shining says as I go to leave. “I will if I need it, thanks for the talk and goodbye for now” I say as I leave. It was a productive talk for me, but I was going to stay for a day here but I decided it’s best if I go back to Ponyville. Besides, the place may be crazy but it’s home, has been for about 3 years. Now I feel so nostalgic I’m going to start looking through the Equestria photo albums when I get back, well time to go home… Author's Note Personally I like Cadence when she's more wiser, I just don't agree with the show's way of potraying her. Sometimes, life ain't fair on a brother.It’s been 3 weeks and some incident in Ponyville has not happened…well until a few hours back, but I am officially amazed right now that it didn’t happen sooner, but it’s also refreshing, today is December 8th, getting close to Hearth’s warming, I should really get to that shopping but anywho... I had been sending letters to Celestia daily thanks to a nifty portable dragonfire seal so I don’t need Spike (the poor guy gets way too much chores and no play, I fear he will soon lose the concept of fun) and that’s kind of what a few hours back was about. You see, It was a long day at the bakery (Convinced the Cakes to keep my job after what happened) and it was night time as our dear smile machine, Pinkie Pie was unfortunately sick (shocking right?) when I heard a bit of crying coming from somewhere, it was Spike at a park bench and sounds like he had a rough time, so me being the bro I am I get my ass over there and see what’s what. A few seconds later… So I am sitting next to Spike in a park bench at 6:50 at night with him clearly crying his eyes out. “Hey Spike” I said to him. “H-Hi Jason, have you come to gloat at me?” Spike asks in reply to my hello. “No, precisely why would I do that?” I ask him. “Rarity…r-r-rejected me” Spike said through sobs “Oh? Oh…” I realized what he had said. So Spike finally tried to ask Rarity out and it didn’t end well…poor Spike, he’s had his first rejection and the first ones are always hard (I should know, I’ve been rejected 4 times in the course of my 20 year life). “That’s tough, Spike. Wanna talk about it?” I say to Spike who gave a nod. “I thought she liked me, we spent time together, she calls me Spikey-Wikey, and appreciates all the help I give her yet I am not good enough for her” Spike explains. Oh trust me, I know that feeling there brother. “Yeah, some girls just ain’t pleased” I say. “How do you do it, Jason? You ended up with Celestia, PRINCESS. CELESTIA! What’s your secret, dude!?” Spike looks at me like I have all the answers. “You want the truth, Spike? It was all accident, and the be honest with you, half my existence in this dimension is an accident. Celestia and I went to Pinkie’s party and Celestia forgot to turn off her drunk filter and the both of us got drunk and ended up in bed, next thing you know a law comes and we both had to marry, but I guess we both loved each other any way” I say to Spike truthfully. “Is that really what happened?” Spike asks. “Yes and Spike, there isn’t a secret to love, no science or anything. Love is like a cutie mark, it’ll happen whenever it damn pleases, not on your will for it to happen.” I share my wisdom of love. “But-“ Spike started. “No buts Spike, it’s time to accept that Rarity isn’t the one for you, this has been proven many times, in my view when it comes to love, she’s as about as smart as Diamond Dog with brain damage. Think, why else would she go out with so many stallions searching for a “gentlecolt” when there’s been one dragon who’s been that all this time for years and still hasn’t Rarity noticed this. It’s time you let her go Spike and if she does ending up crawling back to you, well that’s too bad for her, she had forever to go out with you” I give my two bits on what Spike should do. “But who will I love then?” Spike asks “Who knows? But it is not Rarity and it has pained Rainbow and I as much as all the other elements have besides Rarity to watch this but I was Pinkie Promised not to tell Rarity or you, this cannot go on any longer. Who knows who it will be Spike but until you give up on Rarity, you’re going to be crying and going to be in pain for a long time” I say to him It was getting dark and no doubt Twilight is wondering where Spike is, time to get my pained brother home. (Hey, when there is few stallions as it is, every stallion is a brother) “Come on Spike, let’s go back home, Twilight’s gonna be worried sick and ground you or something” I say to him after a while. “Well that doesn’t really-“ Spike starts. “I’ll vouch for you, if she has problems with it than she can suck it” I interrupted. We walked all the way to the front part of Twilight’s castle when Spike stopped me. “What is it Spike?” I ask the dragon. “Look, I know you hate Twilight but there’s something I must tell you Jason, I was told not to tell but since you helped me…realize things, I feel I need to tell you” Spike says. “Then what is it?” I ask him. “Twilight…was the one who saved you from falling to your doom after you landed on your head, she felt really guilty and cried for a bit after you were in hospital” Spike confesses. “What?” I ask “Twilight thought you’d never wake up and it ate her for days, she thought she’d never see you forgive her and…” Spike says before trailing off. “Enough Spike, perhaps it’s time to fulfill her wish” I say. The pair of us walked to the through the castle doors, I have never really been in here, it kind of looks too crystally for my tastes (Look at me, judging harmony’s work) anywho, we knocked at Twilight’s door and she came out looking at Spike directly. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” She looks at Spike with daggers. “But--!” Spike went to protest “In bed, now!” Twilight says. Spike goes past her into bed but I need to do this. “Twilight” I announce my clearly unnoticed presence “…Hello Jason, what do you need?” Twilight tries to be calm about this. “Two things, is there a place the two of us can have a friendly chat?” I ask. “Oh um…three rooms down the right is a perfect spot” Twilight said as she was taken aback So I followed Twilight into that room, if all went right then I’d say the pair of us will leave happier. It was just a place with chairs and such, Twilight really needs to start making use out of some of these rooms. “Okay, Jason, what is it you want to talk about” Twilight says “Well first, I was kind of the reason Spike got back so late” I started off with. “Why?” Twilight asks. “He finally asked Rarity out, it didn’t go so well, poor drake was crying his eyes out so I talked to him, oh yeah, I’d keep an eye on him for the next few days if I were you” I explained why. “I see, perhaps I should go talk to Rarity tomorrow” Twilight says more to herself “Just as long as it doesn’t end up making it worse” I say to her Alright the next thing I wanted to talk about. “Okay, so I am going to ask you a question and I want it answered honestly” I say to Twilight “I see no reason to lie” Twilight says. “That day I was pushed off, did you really save me from falling further?” I asked. “I did” Twilight answers “Thank you for that but also, honestly, when you get close to death I’ve been thinking maybe I should fix a few things and one of those things is our…dislike for each other, to be fair it was a little justified both sides-“ I thanked her and moved on to what I really wanted to say. “Was it about the whole “trying to find out everything about you” thing?” Twilight asks. “Only part of it, it’s just that back then, you showed not a bit of remorse, you kind of creeped me out and I had watched plenty of horror movies before whatever got me here happened. To be honest, maybe I should have gone about a better way of telling you I wasn’t your science project other than kicking you in the lower parts and running” I said fairly “I was wrong to have treated it like Celestia’s project, I was young and foolish back then when everything was all about the next book and project” Twilight says. “Then why not start over? Let’s forget three years ago of staring at each other like maniacs. I’ll start, My name is Jason Anderson.” I say to Twilight Twilight looked at me for a bit, I hope she had got what I was implying but then started to speak. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, would you like to be my friend?” She asks. “I would be delighted to be your friend, Twilight Sparkle.” I say to her. And that’s how Equestria…..um I mean that’s how Twilight and I became friends…THE END...of the chapter, what? Did you think it was the end of the story, really? Author's Note Okay so you know Last chapter when I said a certain Orange pegasus being uselessly there, I MEANT FLASH FREAKING SENTRY! Geez how did so many of you think Scootaloo? I make a fic where Rainbow is a bro and you'd think I would do that to Scoots? You guys are sadists! Well maybe I should have been more clear, you'd think being at University would make you do such things in real life. But anywho, yay a lovely friendly chapter, maybe i should of put a friendship letter in there somewhere...oh well too late now. All it takes is one bad day...So, I think the friendship meter has raised sufficiently enough as I have finally become friends with Twilight Sparkle, Spike…well he’s a work in progress around with Rarity…let’s just say the little guy won’t let go. Hey, don’t judge the poor dragon! It’s hard out there when you get rejected. That said, it’s snowing now because it’s almost Hearth’s Warming (It snows so far away from the Winter gig because of those frozen dudes that feed on disharmony, ah I forget their name…this is going to bugging me all day) so Rainbow was making sure the snow was all well and good in Ponyville. Meanwhile, I am in Canterlot with Celestia, well not right now but later, she has to do her duties, not even love gets in the way of that, is there no force that can stop the dreaded forces of duty? Not likely. I remained in a room just with thoughts as I stared out (I was nowhere near windows or anything, hey! When you get pushed out you tend not to go near those things that can cause these situations again, I’d like to see you try), I’ve been on this planet for 3 years, no internet, no video games, nothing and somehow I haven’t gone crazy, just how is that? I guess all the crazy around here keeps you occupied. Can I tell you a secret? I’m kind of worried about Celestia. Not about our relationship just her and her emotions, she hides behind a smile so much that other emotions have been repressed for so long. When I saw her angry I felt like she was going to blow up everything, I fear Equestria would flood is she cried in sadness. But news about finding the noble responsible is getting real close, it could be today or tomorrow I am told, Celestia is still a bit angry about what happened before, I am worried that she’ll flat out kill the guy/girl. Does the culprit deserve it? Perhaps, but I don’t want him killed, I want him punished, I want him to really regret it, but part of me thinks he should rot in a restless afterlife for all eternity. Would Luna approve of that? What about Twilight and Rainbow Dash? Or even would if somehow my parents or Celestia’s parents (Whoever they are) saw what might happen, would they share any approval? I would like to think no. Perhaps I should get Celestia to come to terms with her emotions, I do not think repressing emotions for such a long time is not a good thing. With Celestia… Celestia was at her wits end, it was another day sure but Princess Celestia was starting to get sick of these days, it was the same thing everyday and a mare can only have so much patience and stoicness before she blows a fuse. Celestia would rather be snuggling with Jason right now than listen to another arrogant noble, she’d rather be living a daydream of love than one more second of her little ponies petitioning for such pointless things, don’t these ponies have mayors in their towns for such things? The current pre-school squabble was about some mare throwing eggs at a noble’s house after said noble apparently called the mare “A word for you that we don’t use in high-society” in the most sneering tone ever. And here they were arguing over each other like fillies…no she knew certain fillies acting way more mature than this, The Cake Twins acted much more mature and they only speak a few words. The thoughts too were truly starting to get to Celestia too. ‘How is it that I have lived this for millennia and now this is bugging me?’ Celestia thinks to herself. ‘Simple Tia, it’s anger. Here you are, sitting like a helpless foal as the ponies before you argue like foals. Hear that? That’s the sound of your patience finally cracking’ a voice sounding like Chrysalis speaks out in Celestia’s head. ‘The Great Princess Celestia, banisher of many bad ponies is meeting her sanity’s end at two mere subjects, such embarrassment this is causing for you’ a Nightmare Moon voice mocks Celestia. ‘Be Quiet the pair of you!' Celestia shouted at the pair of them. ‘Ignore us all you want Celly, but you are finally having a bad day and you think you can survive anything but as the pair of us know…’ “Chrysalis” says to Celestia. ‘…you think you’re invincible that you can’t be fazed by petty emotion but all it takes is one bad day…and you’ll end up JUST. LIKE. US!’ “Nightmare Moon' says right in Celestia’s head very loudly. The pair of ponies in front of Celestia had finally started their fighting in the physical zone and Celestia’s sanity has officially broken. “ENOOOOUUUUGGGHHH!! Can’t you creator-damned foals just act mature FOR FIVE MINUTES!?” Celestia has shouted at the pair of them. Everypony and it damn well meant EVERY PONY including the guards and Swift Scribe (Celestia’s faithful assistant) was literally shocked and quieted. “Okay! So here’s the deal, YOU!” Celestia pointed at the mare, “Just because a noble insults DOES NOT MEAN you throw eggs at his house! I swear if everypony gets offended this much over insults, I might get my scientist ponies to stop their productive work to spend time on egg-repelling spells! Because if hear this one more time I am going the throw that Pony at a window! Now YOU!” Celestia went at the noble, “I have had enough of your kind with you heads so far up that it’s gone in your flanks and if you would just stop with this elitist bunch of feather droppings maybe ponies might respect you. So the pair of you go! Get out of my sight and tell the rest of the ponies that if anything is like this, I order them to begone NOW!” Celestia had finished her shouting. The pair of Ponies clearly scurried out the door like frightened ponies and a guard entered with urgent news. “Your Highness, urgent news!” the new arrival spoke. “And what now?” Celestia spoke in an annoyed tone. “The Culprit’s location has been found, your highness” The guard says Celestia had a smile, not a warm one but a satisfying “at last, justice will be served” smile. Swift Scribe did not like Celestia’s angry outburst, she felt that were it not for Jason’s intervention, the hired pony would be six hooves under. She had read the reports, she was afraid that maybe her boss had finally cracked and she was starting to get those flames she had been told about in the reports she had looked over. Swift Scribe knew Luna would be resting but she needed the human’s help, the culprit’s life may be at stake, she truly cared about her boss, and she didn’t want to see her boss like this but it seems she’s going to need some help. Celestia had left the throne room and Swift Scribe immediately set off to go find Jason Anderson, he may be the only one that could help… Author's Note SO uh...what to say here..Oh right Merry christmas ya ponies...people...whatever...THE PRESENTS ARE ALL MINE! Lesson 1 of surviving a sun-goddess: Don't ever get her angry.(Back with Jason) KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! “Who is it?” I ask as I looked to the door. “Swift Scribe, Celestia’s assistant I need to talk to you at once” Scribe says through the door. I decided to open the door and let her in and a guard too, since Celestia’s assistant is here I wonder if something happened. “So, what do you need?” I ask her. “It’s about her highness, just five minutes ago in court she had outbursted in court in anger but then news came that the culprit has been found and her highness’ hair went all flamey as she left as she left to go confront the culprit personally…I’m afraid she might…do something” Swift says Oh no, Celestia is going to kill the noble…that’s not good! “Thank you for telling me this, any of you know where Celestia is headed?” I ask the pair of them. “Yes, he is headed to the house of Noble Grudge” the guard speaks up Well no wonder HE did it, god, I swear his mother did not love him as a foal. “Okay, Swift, listen closely, go wake up Princess Luna, I don’t care how you do it but it’s damn urgent, explain what has happened she’ll know what it means. You, Mr. Guard dude, lead the way to the Grudge’s house, we’ll see if we can get Celestia to see reason” I made a plan straight up. “But-“ Swift tries to argue. “DO WHAT I SAY! We don’t have time to sit on our asses, Celestia may be intent on murderous revenge and that will NOT happen! Now let’s go!” I shouted a bit too loud. Swift Scribe nodded and ran off in the direction of Luna’s room meanwhile me and guard here are gonna get Celestia to see reason. “Alright you, lead the way” I say to guard “Alright but we should run double time if we are to make it” The guard says. “That is fine by me, now let’s run” I say And that ladies and gentlemen is why you keep a fit physique in Equestria… (Celestia) Celestia had an anger burning in her, for far too long has threats to her and her family been made without one bit of malice returned, that changes today. In a way, Celestia was finally getting some satisfaction, to revenge upon those who have wronged her just like those cultists 1000 years back, they will learn to respect the name Celestia again and nopony, NOPONY will dare try separate her and Jason ever again and anypony who even so much as thinks it will burnt to ashes. Celestia was barely containing her flame form as she trotted through the Canterlot streets towards her “target”, it wouldn’t be long now, this for Jason after all, to truly close the book on threats to him. Noble Grudge will not live more than a minute once Celestia lays eyes on him and in that minute he will have every bit of regret in his life possible. Celestia was finally at the house… (Jason) Damn it! I should of known this was coming, when it was said finding who it was is very close to being found I should have stationed myself near Celestia. Damn it, Jason! Once again your foolish decisions has gotten you into a mess! We are running through the streets of Canterlot, snooty nobles, Canterlot citizens and all had to be pushed aside as we followed Celestia’s path, I knew I should have talked with her more, maybe got the guards to tell Luna and I first, if Swift Scribe is fast Luna will get here too in time. (Back to Celestia) BOOM! The front door was literally blown to pieces like a canon went through and a flame-filled Celestia entered the house. “YOU! I have finally found you!” Celestia boomed out as she crashed down the door and saw the noble she was looking for. Celestia was truly flaming now and the noble made a terrifying run for it but Celestia lazily used her magic to fling the noble to her feet. “P-P-Princess Celestia, how nice of you…to drop in?” Grudge says with a lot of stuttering. “SILENCE! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE YOU ARE ABOVE ME PEASANT!” Celestia yelled at the pony cowering at her feet. Noble Grudge really was pitiful like the hired help he had sent, Celestia felt he should really end his life now. “So, why DID you do it, why?” Celestia asked with flames roaring on DID. “H-He was in our way, he was marrying you, if it wasn’t me, somepony else would have!” Grudge says. “You are pathetic, you really are. I cannot believe it has taken me this long to finally have had enough but sometimes I surprise even myself. But you surprise me also, not the fact that you dared to attack my fiancé but you are right, somepony else would have done this if it weren’t you. Which is why when you are ashes in about ten seconds, all the nobles will BURN! As have all of you servants of gold and linage have been for far too long a thorn in my side for all the little good you all have done” Celestia spat at the noble (Jason) I am finally at the house and the front door looked like artillery went through it, we may be too late. I had heard what had been said about all nobles may be dying to Celestia, this is definitely not good. “Celestia! Stop this at once!” I said to Celestia as I saw her with who must be Noble Grudge. “This pony has committed High Treason! And his kind was planning the same, for far too long as I have said before, have the nobles been a thorn in my side” Celestia said to me. “That does not excuse killing this pony in cold blood for revenge” I say to her. “You would have done the same, Jason!” Celestia shouted at me. To be honest, she sort of has a fair point there but that's beside the point. “Perhaps, but is that we are? Beings who murder those who wronged us? Because if that’s what we are then we are just as bad as the nobles, Discord, Chrysalis and even Nightmare Moon” I say to her. “Please, help me!” The noble begs me. Just as pathetic as the hired help he sent… “BE SILENT!” Celestia roared as she sent flames to Grudge. “Celestia NO!” I shouted at her as I went to stop her. Too late, he was burning for a few seconds in which he screamed in agony and then he turned to ash and then the ash was vaporized in a matter of 10 seconds. It was…sickening to watch. FATALITY! “TIA!” I heard Luna’s shout from the doorway Where were you 30 seconds ago? That said Luna was not happy. “Luna, stay out of this!” Celestia says to Luna. “We shall not, you intend harm upon some of our subjects, and just because one noble has done treason does not mean thou should punish all of them” Luna says. “And then what? Punish one at a time once they all decide to do something rash when we could solve the problem once and for all? You have no idea how much suffering there is to be had when you watch noble after noble each thinking the world owes them everything! When is our time, Luna? When do we get a simple hello from somepony we don’t know, to have a love life without having the paparazzi following us around or this happening? Never it seems! Because both our lives seems devoted to some creator’s will to let us suffer these unbearable types and put on a fake smile, I. AM. DONE! No more!” Celestia says with such anger that scared me and just about any other pony. “Celestia? If you do not want pestering by douchebag types like nobles then what do you want? Truly? I want to know what it is” I asked Celestia. I am not sure what she will answer to be honest right now. “Just to settle down with you, perhaps a foal some point in the future, leave something for Equestria to have because I can’t do this forever, Luna can’t. Twilight and Cadence have yet to live a long time, one day they will be the Princesses that everypony thinks of when the Royal sisters are gone. Right now, I just want to be with you, find some other meaning to my own life other than raising the same damned solar ball every day and listening to sordid problems of my subjects that could be solved if they simply used their brains.” Celestia confesses her wishes. But it can’t happen like this, Celestia. Not yet, one step at a time. “Celestia, I love you. You know I do with all my heart, but this anger will not further any advance towards the future you want. With love, many emotions come other than that stoic mask and fake smile you put on, and do you think I do not watch my own soon to be wife in a court? I have seen the weariness of the same thing, we need to get you out of this repressment of emotion. Killing the nobles will provide more consequences then rewards. Sure they are a pain in the ass but that’s life Celestia, you need to go hard and you go home. Celestia, you need help and Luna, Twilight, everypony will offer their help, including me.” I say to her. “Jason’s right Tia, we art one big family, so we request thou calms down and we talk, like proper mares, not foolish foals revenging on schoolyard bully” Luna says Celestia’s flames die down and she seems back to normal…hopefully for a long while. I walk up to Celestia, I know she will not burn me or anything of the sort, I give her a hug, a warmth of the sun hug I loved so much (One day, there shall be a way to harvest that feeling for all to enjoy), the aura around our bodies happened again. “Come on Celly, let’s get to work on making that future a reality shall we? Or at least after a good snuggle session” I say to her. “Snuggle session sounds good” Celestia says to me. Hey, between you and me, maybe some point after I get married, I may get some kids and they’ll be the best damn kids you have ever seen! And even if they somehow aren’t, I’ll be proud of them in the future, I can Pinkie Promise that will happen. Author's Note OH look double chapter update for Christmas? God you kids are spoiled! I command you give over the stocking of chocolate to Nightmare Dawsonator! Failure to comply with result in your very slow and horrible death! (Imagine that in a very female cherry voice) A little talk to Luna.Yaaaawwnnnn…goddess that snuggle was awesome! Oh right gotta get focused today. We are going to help Celestia control Negative emotions because Celestia suffers PTSD (Positive Traumatic Stress Disorder) or Over-Positive dose. Point is, she’s too positive and when Negative emotions finally crack it is over the top hence Celestia burnt a dude alive for the love the sun. What? Why are you looking at me that way? I read books, what? You thought Twilight was the only one to ever read a book ever? Well exuuuuuussseee me Mr./Mrs./Miss I search all my answers up on Google (Google in Equestria may as well be Twilight Sparkle)! Look, I’m worried about her okay? Not as just a friend, boyfriend and soon to be husband to the Sun Goddess known as Celestia, but as Jason too, Celestia might lose control one day, like Luna did and if that day comes, I have to be prepared. I look at Celestia snuggling in, still beautiful in sleeping in, and happy. I want her to be happy, she’s been through a lot through the years, she deserves every bit of happiness I give her and more. She exploded…twice, one at the hospital with my attacker and the noble behind it, the latter of him is not enough ashes for an urn to fill. What if I do lose her…NO! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do not think about that! I will not submit to the thought of losing Celestia, is she goes down than I will go down with her. This thought is maddening me, maybe I’ll need therapy. I need somepony to talk to, somepony that knows Celestia and knows to how to keep Celestia calm and collected: Luna. I need to talk to Luna, she knows Celestia better than anypony. If I want to share the future Celestia and I both want, I need to help her before she hurts somepony else or kills somepony else. Celestia will talk with somepony while I talk to Luna. Knock Knock! “Who’s there?” A slightly grumpy sounding Luna says through the door. “It’s me Jason, I need to talk to you” I say through the door. “Very well, come into our quarters” Luna says through the door. If Celestia’s room was bright and sunny, Luna was the other side of the coin, the room was Midnight Blue with stars and the Moon over the walls. It had it’s own beauty in its own way. “So, thou hath come to speak with us, pray tell, what is this matter about?” Luna asks me as I sit down. “Celestia, I need to talk to you about Celestia” I reply to Luna’s question. “In regards to?” Luna asks again. “Her actions as of late, I’m worried about her, Princess. But I don’t know how to go about making sure such things don’t happen again.” I clarify my point. “We art afraid that this has been a long time coming, Jason. What thou saw yesterday, was a suppressed rage, suppressed for a very long time.” Luna says honestly. “Well, I want to understand Celestia, I want to know where she’s coming from, what things could have fueled her anger, stuff like that” I say to her. “What thou must understand, is that both our own and Tia’s lives have been full of one bad thing after another. One could say our lives have had nothing but events that are attempting to drive the pair of us into insanity” Luna say to me. I wonder what she could mean. “Tia, she’s been strong for far too long. When we came back, we found no signs of insanity, no moral turmoil, we searched everywhere for any signs, history books and the like. We found old diaries of Tia’s, we didn’t want to invade mine sister’s privacy but it was for the better. We saw what happened in those diaries. Tia was distraught, so depressed that she kept to herself for a good century on mine own banishment.” Luna describes Celestia. “So, Celestia basically lost it when I could have been murdered and found the perp of this whole thing?” I ask Luna. “Thou must understand, Tia has almost lost everypony she has ever cared about and each and every day is a reminder of that fact. She has lost students to the darkness, separated themselves from Tia, few died trying to prove themselves worthy. Our parents, they disappeared when we were naught but a young teenager, mine own banishment and many more has been stabs to her heart, she’s holding on to thee like a foal a teddy bear that the foal refuses to ever let go, she often checks on us to make sure we do not descend into Darkness once more and Tia certainly saw Twilight Sparkle as a daughter she has never had, the three of us art closest to her now, her close close family like Mi Amore Cadenza, Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle’s friends.” Luna explains what is in Celestia’s heart. I paused for a bit to take it all in. Celestia has been through so much, I wonder what I could do to ease her pain, make her feel happy. “Thy blunder hast been a blessing in disguise, we thought thou were just like other nobles, claiming purity when they are dirtier than the Earth Ponies they claim they are. Know this Jason Anderson, thou have captured Tia’s heart, thou and her are together not by a law now but by love, my only request is that thou make her happy, she has waited for her happiness for far too long, our turn can wait” Luna says to me. “I was under the impression you disliked me, much less threatening me that you’ll kill me or something” I say to Luna. “Never would we kill you, Jason. we had thought at first this was just going to make Tia’s life worse than it needed to be, we watched you and if you didn’t perform to standard as her husband, then we would act accordingly. Tia may care much for me, but she fails to realize how much care she gets in return, we care for her, thou care for her, Twilight Sparkle cares for her, Mi Amore Cadenza does too and a few others.” Luna replied to my assumption. “I have one last question, is it possible for Celestia to fall into a Nightmare state? Or something that exists that could make her explode even worse” I ask Luna. “Tia has said she exterminated all of the Nightmares after our banishment but it is possible some were missed, however for a Nightmare to truly possess somepony, thou would need a lot of pain and a lack of willpower, believe us, it would take a lot more to take Tia as it took me. As for anything that could make Tia explode, we don't know but it would have to be something she's kept secret in her heart for a long time.” Luna answers. “I see, well thanks for talking with me and all” I say to end the whole conversation. “Thou art most welcome, and if we were thee, we might endeavor to start planning the wedding that is happening in a month” Luna advises me. “I shall” I say as I leave the room. Only one month? Good Sunny Goddess I’m marrying, we actually got to go prepare that, like RIGHT NOW! Author's Note I live? I LIVE! HAHAHAHA! Yeah I had a fun holiday doing nothing but gaming! And reading fiction with no motive to write, a fun holiday all around...now then. Have a chapter, ON ME! A four worded Question.You wanna know what the plus side of preparing a wedding when you marry a Princess, you get so many staff in the castle helping to prepare this thing. We decided to marry in Twilight’s castle and she’s going to do the “You may now kiss the bride” thing, Luna is going with Celestia on the isle and Rainbow Dash is my best mare. I asked the Cakes to supply the wedding cake because I trust nopony else with this important task, the weather team was going to make sure this weather was sunny, security was going to be around in case of the Changelings trying to feed off our love (If they did get it, they will be blow up their own stomachs up with how much they get). Rarity was supplying the wedding dress and my suit, I paid her extra for this service (she originally made my first clothes coming here free of charge, it’s time I repaid that), Applejack was going to make some food and there was going to be other stuff around. As for the guest list, everypony in Ponyville was invited, Princess Cadence and Shining Armor were invited, the Elements, Luna, distinguished nobility and more were coming to the wedding. But with all that happening and the preparations were almost complete with two weeks left, there was one major thing I haven’t done yet, actually propose to Celestia. Yeah sure this thing is happening with or without because of Flankhole the Bearded, but if I am going to marry her, I am doing it with my heart not with a law by Beardface the Asshat (Don’t worry, I got better insults, I just don’t want to utter them or Twilight gets offended…like seriously offeneded! The way she talks about him you’d think the two would be dating, I’ll let you figure out the obvious problem). So, I had prepared a surprise for her, well a picnic surprise outside of Ponyville on a hill, I gave her a note saying to be there at 4 o’clock in the afternoon today. It is now 3:50pm and I am there, I am so nervous, how could I not be? But if this goes all to plan the pair of us may be the happiest couple in any universe. 3:58pm…almost time. “Hello Jason” Celestia says from behind me. “Hey Celly” I turn around to greet her as I pocketed the ring I was going to give her later. “Well? I am curious, what is this surprise you mentioned?” Celestia asked. “A Picnic, to get you away from the throne for a couple of hours” I say to her. “I will admit, it has been a little too long since the pair of us and not just doing a wedding practice or preparing the whole wedding, it Is quite stressful on top of normal duties.” Celestia says to me, grateful that I took her away from her job for a bit. Believe me, I know. What I am about to do was 2 weeks in the making, finding the right ring practicing how to do this, even Luna helped when she found out my plan through a dream. I just got to do it. “There will be much relief for both of us once the wedding is over” I say honestly, making conversation. “It will indeed, I didn’t think I would ever live to see my own wedding day approaching” Celestia says to me, also honestly. Then, I shall make her happy, I just need say the four worded question. “Yes, I thought my own would be years later, but I guess we can’t control fate or tradition or law or whatever we want to call what got us together in the first place.” I thought as I half-wondered what my life would be like if I never slept with Celestia…or even ended up on Earth. “If I may ask, what does a human male and female do for marriage, traditions and so on and so forth?” Celestia asks me curiously. “Well, some families, the man asks the father of the woman for permission to marry his daughter. Some people pop a ring in a wine glass and the woman discovers it. In fact, the man does the chasing on Earth and the Woman decides if she truly loves the man or not and accepts the marriage request. The actual marriage stuff is pretty much the same as Equestria just with Earth buildings and no magic. The man wears a black suit with a black tie and the woman wears a long white wedding dress” I explain to her. “Anything more?” Celestia asks. Now’s your chance Jason! Do it! Do it now, you can do this! “T-There is one other way of proposing…the man would get on one knee like this” I demonstrate going on one knee, “they would say their love to the female and then they would pull out a ring and ask a four worded question, a yes/no question and the female will decide to marry the man or not” I explained the way I was going to propose to her. I pause for a deep breath as I took out the case for the ring and got on one knee and held Celestia’s right hoof in my hands. “Celestia, we have come a long way since I tried to run from your sister when I realized what I had done, I thought this was the end of my life. I realize now that it was quite the opposite, it was the start. I thought as a Princess, you deserved better than some lowlife human who was going to be your loveless husband bound by some bearded twat's law. I decided to at least make it look real, I didn’t realize I would fall for you. You, with a kind and generous heart look after Equestria and endure many trials and sufferings to keep it that way, when I look now, I see how much pain you take for others, yet you never seemed to get your own happiness, true happiness is a beautiful thing on you Celestia. I see it when you talk to or about Twilight or Luna, I don’t see it when you talk to or about some politician, it’s empty, it’s fake and I cannot feel the warm and happy Celestia I see in a true smile. I’m rambling on but to boil down to it, yes we are getting married but that’s by a law and a forced happiness is not a happiness at all, it’s torture. I come here today to change that, I want this for real, I want to make you happy, I want any pain you endure, I endure that pain with you, If life pulls you by the mane, I will be there to help you back up as you did me before when I faced a close death. I do not need words from you to know my love and faith is not misplaced in you. I love you Celestia and I want not to be an agent of suffering in your life but an agent of the true happiness you have waited for a long time coming now.” I went on a bit of a speech. I put the ring case into the Celestia’s hoof opened it to show the ring and looked her the eye, there was nothing to avert my eye contact not that I wanted it to, my eyes were only for hers and hers starting widening as she caught on to what must be happening. “Celestia…for real, for true love. Will you marry me?” I proposed to her. Celestia looked to me, to the ring and back to me, time must have frozen briefly in her when I asked that…as for me, millions of thoughts were in my head. Celestia looks into my eyes, my soul and my heart and her mouth starts to move and speech comes out with the answer that is... To be continued... Author's Note What? Did you actually think that there wasn't going to be a cliffhanger at the end of this chapter? You actually thought there wasn't going to be was there. I laugh at your foolishness! A One Worded Answer.Meanwhile somewhere else, somewhere not at all related to the story… (Probably play the Imperial March theme from Star Wars for maximum effect here, link is down below because I am humble and kind…wait…no I’m not otherwise I wouldn't have cliffhangered you, but you’ll get a link anyway cause why not?) An Australian man sat on his bed, it was really hot outside so he had the air conditioner on, god bless Air Con! All hail the mighty Air Conditioner! HAIL IT! HAIL IT I SAY! But back to the point, this Australian (Not a bogan one that says stereotypically “Put another shrimp on the Barbie” or something like that, if you do that I will kill you) had just released a chapter for a fiction called “So, you are suddenly a soon-to-be husband of a Sun Goddess”, this chapter had a cliffhanger at the end, at the Australian Author’s most diabolical will. Reactions to this cliffhanger were received and exactly the results he wanted, he grinned evilly at the computer screen and said: “Exactly as planned!” (One more video I promise) His cliffhanger skills were complete and he stood up from his bed and stopped writing the next chapter. “First, FimFiction falls to my Cliffhanger genius, that was today. Tommorow, the WORLD SHALL FALL TO CLIFFHANGERS! NO LONGER SHALL EPISODES OR CHAPTERS OR WHATEVER END NORMALLY, THEY WILL ALWAYS BE CLIFFHANGERS! NOBODY WILL STOP ME! MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Just imagine lightning in the background)” TheDawsonator1 gloats to absolutely nobody. The world was truly about to doomed to cliffhangers, is there nobody that can stop this horrible cliffhangerness by TheDawsonator1…nah! You’re all screwed! Now back to the actual story that you normal-ending loving peons came here for… I was literally the definition of nervous right now, I had asked the Four-lettered question, there can only be a two or three lettered reply…I’m hoping for the latter. Celestia opens her mouth the speak the reply, my heart is literally not beating anymore. “Oh Jason! Of course I will! You didn’t have to do this all for me, the answer is yes! Yes, I will marry you!” Celestia answers finally. For real? She’s not joking! Ears! YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT? She did say Yes? YES! SHE SAID YES! YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! YESYESYESYESYEYSYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES! WOOOHOOOOOOOO! Play the VICTORY MUSIC! Celestia just kissed me, I was surprised at first but I kissed back so passionately deep that I may have came out the other side kissing. I didn’t really care, the important thing was, SHE SAID THE GREATEST THREE-LETTERED WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE…AND EQUISH! My body and Celestia’s were lighting up again, even more brightly than before as we kissed, it’s like the magic knew we just agreed to marry each other for real. When we broke apart from the kiss, we smiled, we smiled so much that Pinkie is jealous…she’s right over there to your right. Suddenly I felt something coming out my back and butt…well top of my butt and also the top of my head. That felt very weird saying it my head, if fact, that sounded better in my head inside my head. “I do believe you just earned some pony traits” Celestia noticed as she looked behind me. “What?” I was confused. I look behind me and by some form of magic, wings, a tail and some pony ears were popping out…it’s like I’m some anthro pony right now, does love really do that? Before I could investigate any further, they disappeared in a blue flash. “Awww, I wanted to look at the new attachments” I said as I saw them disappear. “Fear not, I believe they will come back” Celestia says as she throws me into a hug. Celestia hugs cure cancer, that is all. “I know Celly, but I’ll worry about that later, now, I’ve never been so happier in my life as I have right now” I say as we hugged. “My dearest Jason, I don’t think I have ever been so full of joy as I have now, my destiny has thrown so many things at me, I’m glad I went through it to see the day I would fall in love” Celestia smiles at me. My mouth is going to hurt the next day from all this smiling, just saying but IT. IS. WORTH IT! “I promise you this, as long as I may live, I know I won’t stop loving you Celly, it’s kind of hard to stop with such a beautiful face though” I promised her. “Oh, Jason you flirt! You don’t need to impress me any further, I have already explained in detail why I have fallen for you” Celestia says with a playful punch. “I don’t know, a casual reminder maybe, just to be safe?” I give a cheeky smile. “Nope, I believe you know why, nice try Jason, I am not that easy” Celestia says. “Oh damn! I was hoping to reminded of what an excellent husband I’ll be, however will I live through the rest of my life knowing that on the day of proposal, my awesome wife didn’t remind of just how awesome I am” I said all dramatically. “Oh hush you, if you like, there are more ways to remind of you of why I love than just talk” Celestia gives “That” look, believe me, if you saw it you’ll know what I mean. “W-What? U-um, okay…like what?” I ask nervously, thinking what about what she COULD be implying. Was she…? Was she implying what I think she was implying? “Well…” Celestia started. Suddenly a Aqua flame much like Spike’s green flame came and formed a scroll to Celestia. (What? You thought Spike was the only one, there are actually a few and each Princess actually has a personal small dragon that volunteers to help send messages and stuff, they are rarely seen though, they don't like Ponies asking questions and such) “Jason, I am needed at once back at Canterlot, something has come up” Celestia said sadly, she didn’t want to go. “Party’s over, huh?” I say to her “Unfortunately, I’d much rather stay here” Celestia says. “Go do your duty Celestia. But, one more kiss for the road?” I say wisely. Celestia knew what I meant and we shared one last kiss and then she flew off into the distance of Canterlot. I smiled as she flew off and waved when she looked back. It’s kind of weird what will happen in a couple of months, one day I was just a human attending yet another party, the next I had slept with Celestia at that party and was forced to marry her by STB (StarSwirl the Bearded…what? Did you think it was Sexually Transferred Bad odor?), overall I say I’m happy the way I am thanks to that bearded bastard…I’m still going to smash his statue though. I walk off back to my house through Ponyville with the hugest smile on my face, for the first time since I arrived in Equestria a few years back, I feel like I’m part of this place. Now, I must enjoy some time to myself for now, there are many things to do within the next two weeks before the wedding. I know I have somepony waiting for me, I also have a best friend to tell the good news. Author's Note So about that bit at the top about me threatening to take over the world? That was lies, SLANDER AND LIES! I am not attempting to take over the world with cliffhangers, and no those aren't the Elements of Harmony in my basement as my personal slaves helping that happen, don't be ridiculous! "Hey, is your name Twilight Sparkle and do you bear an object called the Element of Magic?" "No" See, she said no, not Twilight Sparkle or any element bearers at all. But when I find the slandering fool who dares try to discredit me, well let's just say he'll be hanging off a cliff and I'll stamp on his hands and he'll fall off screaming to his DOOM! And then I'll laugh evilly, also I may laugh on my wheelie chair steal the neighbours cat and stroke it just to look evil. Anywho, not taking over the world. So enjoy the chapter...and Cliffhanger will come later...WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! And also you get lucky for this chapter I didn't want to leave you hanging for the next one...well you were already hanging...ON A CLIFF! Okay I should just go home in shame, my jokes are bad and I feel bad. A quick talk with Dash.Have you ever felt so happy that literally nothing can stand in the way of that happiness? I do, it was the day after yhe Project: Propose to Celestia for real went a COMPLETE SUCCESS! She said yes, I am just so happy I could rocket into a firework like Pinkie would when she gets really happy. Actually Pinkie saw my smile and then she smiled and went bouncing off like she does, how does a mare like her have such energy to bounce everywhere, maybe she’s charged on happiness? Sadness is her Kryptonite maybe? Questions for never. Still one thing got me curious, those pony parts I got, the tail, the ears and the wings I had briefly when I kissed Celestia after she agreed to marry for real. I tried getting some way of getting them out before, didn’t seem to work although thinking about Celestia got a tiny glow, but the parts didn’t come out. It was a couple of days until the wedding, I was hanging around with Rainbow Dash as Celestia had more duties to attend to, even when a wedding was on they just wouldn’t leave her alone. “So wings, huh? If you find out how to keep them, promise you’ll let me teach you how to fly” Dash says to me. “Sure, unless Celestia insists she does it” I promise her. “I just hope you can, you’ll have all the awesomeness of flying around and you can visit my awesome crib anytime” Dash goes on. “I know, I wouldn’t mind trying flying for myself but I still don’t have a clue why I even have an ability to go all Anthro-pony in the first place. My kind don’t have any trace of magic, at best we got those people who pretend this shit up and somehow fool people, like religion” I state my opinion on the whole thing. “Dude, you haven’t lived until you’ve napped on a cloud, it’s like your back getting a massage without going to the spa” Rainbow says, ignoring the whole Humans have no magic fact. “Yeah, well don’t get any hopes up, I’m not sure how this whole getting pony parts thing works just yet” I say “I’m just saying,it would be awesome if you could control those wings popping out of your back” Rainbow assures of me her thoughts. I really wouldn’t mind being able to fly, I mean compared to ponies, I kind of walk around everywhere and do…things. Thank the something up there that I am not trying to battle unicorns. Bad things would happen, involving me being in ashes at this point. “I might get to finding that stuff out after the wedding, it’s keeping me up nights just thinking about it and it’s two days away.” I decide on that matter. “So, are you all ready for the big day, you know Twilight will chew your flank out if you aren’t 345.7% prepared at least” Dash says, warning me if I wasn't prepared for the wedding. “That’s quite a specific number for you Rainbow Dash” I noticed her not saying a bazillion or some other number. “Trust me, you do not want to see Twilight in her statistics phase, I’ve got numbers in my head that are etched into my head and all the info is POINT-LESS! Did you know that the amount of books that can ever feature on any featured thing in Equestria is ten…same for fanfiction apparently. Also that 24% of ponies in the Canterlot region of ponies are gay or lesbian” Dash says. “Sounds horrible” I say simply. “It is, and don’t get me started on the stuff Twilight knows about Celestia, she had the exact size of Celestia and has DNA of her and still has it despite giving up that cloning project” Dash points out some…interesting facts. “Okaaaayy…that’s not at all creepy” I replied to that fact. “Believe me, that’s normal for Twilight’s weirdness. Point is, you better be ready now or Twilight will kill you and then Celestia will kill her…well not really more like “Mare…I am disappoint” and then Twilight dies of a heart attack, you get the point” Dash gets to the point. “Yeah I know, we are ready, but honestly, I just need to enjoy some air before all this starts, once I am on the other side of this wedding, there is going to be a lot o changes involving me having to move away from Ponyville and a fair amount of other things” I say as I realize that these were the last days of unmarried life. “Promise me you’ll visit us right? Whenever you get time” Dash says to me. “I promise” I promise Dash. It was only a couple of days away but, part of me wants to keep this previous life but part of me wants to embrace married life, this change is not going to be without some regrets but overall I think I’ll like it…hopefully. For now, I better enjoy these last couple of days while I can. There's nothing more I can do now but wait, everything will be perfect, I just know it! Author's Note Yeah this a casual chapter, filler if you will. But next chapter...THE BIG ONE! Cause this ain't a dream no more! (If you get where that's from, good for you!) Also 300+ likes, you guys are awesome! Have a free Something bothering you-Curing hug! THE BIG WEDDING! (Hence the caps lock/Royal Canterlot Voice)Have you ever had an experience where the day you wait for feels like it’s never supposed to arrive? Like how people feel about graduation, I wouldn't know, I was taken to Equestria days before that. But the wedding day was today, it was here after what must have felt like an eternity. But yet, here I was, in front of a full length mirror looking at myself in a suit for the occasion, my best mare, Rainbow Dash was in her own unique dress keeping me calm because, weddings are nervous as all hell. Imagine when Twilight gets married, I fear not even Celestia could calm her down. “Jason, stop fiddling with your fingers, that’s looking not awesome for you” Dash grabs my fingers away from each other. “Sorry, it’s just this whole thing is making me more nervous than Twilight when the word “Test” is mentioned next to her” I reply back. “Well get your flank into gear, you’re marrying the most awesome Princess ever! And she’s marrying the most awesome human ever, it’s a win-win today!” Dash assures me. “I know but all these worrying thoughts come up and…” I started before Dash interrupts me. “None of that, Jason! No worrying thoughts! They can’t be the boss of you, you are the boss of them and you must command them to go jump off a cliff or you’ll push them off personally! When you get out there, you will walk up there with pride and umm…grace I suppose for Rarity’s sake, when Twilight asks you to do the “I do” part, you damn do it! You say I do like if you said anything else, you’d die in shame! When Twilight says you two kiss, YOU GIVE HER THE MOST PASSIONATE DAMN KISS EVER!...when I’m not looking I can’t stand the sappiness. But when you walk out, everypony will know about the most badflank and awesome couple there is and it will be you two, ARE. WE. CLEAR?” Dash gives me a pep talk (sadly no General outfit there). “Yes” I reply. “Good! Now get out there and make us proud!” Dash says as she nudges me out. Alright! LET’S DO THIS! NOTHING CAN STOP ME! NOTHING! 2 seconds later… Is it just me or this hallway really long? And when did people get this stare-y? Reminds me of the days I first got here, ponies had no “it’s rude to stare” rule or something back then. Now Jason, just get to the end, no nervousness shall defeat you this day, you survived an attack on your life, you’ve done everything for the mare you’re about to marry and she’s done a lot for you, now I got get to the end. Left…left, left right left! Left, right, left right left!. See? I’m there, I am master of walking seemingly long wedding hallways, kneel before my awesome hallway walking powers! Anywho, I made it and Rainbow Dash came up beside me and smiled at me in approval, now we just wait for Celestia to arrive. She will won’t she? She can’t even abandon this, the law prevents her from doing so, but I know the law won’t force her, her own will does it. Still, the thought still comes and it’s every groom’s worst nightmare, being left at the altar, calm down Jason, that won’t happen, you’re overreacting going hybrid Rairty-Twilight overreaction here soon if you don’t stop it. Suddenly I imagined myself seeing Celestia leave and me goign all THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! The doors opened, the music played…holy fucking shit...it’s Celestia…she’s…she’s…I don’t even know of a word good enough to describe her because I did use one she’d be offended by how low I’d be rating her with the word I use when she has a much higher rating than the one I used, know what I’m saying? Celestia was pure white, when she came out, she was glowing pure white, like seriously, there was an outline all around her and her dress that was pure white, like sunlight. And my she had a the white wedding dress that put Cadence’s to shame (Pink and white just looked not right in my opinion, well it looked all right but yeah, it’s fur colour, what can you do? And would the Princess of Love be anything BUT Pink? Speaking of which, she’s in the seating with Shining Armor whom I saw and they both waved as the looked back to Celestia), it was traditional white and in traditional form, only Celestia’s was imbued with magic to make it more radiant of the power Celestia had, the head thing brides have (God I forget what they call it every time) went along with her mane which was extra shiny and wavy today. TL;DR My jaw just went through the castle and to the planet’s core looking at her. She is walking up to my side, and my jaw was still open. “Hey dude, close your jaw, you’ll swallow some flies if you keep that up” Rainbow whispered as she nudged me and I did close my mouth. Celestia arrived at my side as the music finished, she looked my way and she had the most beautiful smile…If I had a smile like that I would charge ponies to see it, I honestly reckon it could cure cancer if experimentation happened with it. But I smiled back mouthing a compliment to her. And now my heart is literally doing a rapid drumming right now, here it was, the moment ever since that day we found ourselves next to each other was counting down to, many would say they’d be the luckiest guy in the world on their wedding day but me…I feel the luckiest of all the luckiest guys in the world right now. Twilight was up as she had flash cards to read off as she went to speak out the wedding. (Typical Twilight) “Mares, Gentlecolts, Commoners, Nobles, Princes, Princesses, Earth Ponies, Pegasi, Unicorns, Alicorns, Human and many more, today we are gathered to the unification of Jason Anderson of Planet Earth and Celestia, Princess of the Sun.” Twilight started her speech Twilight said that with such professionalism around Celestia, usually I’d think she’d be trying to think how best to not fuck it up. “These two beings have endured their fair share of trials to be where they are today and have agreed to marry each other, now onto the ceremony to make it final. ” Twilight continues on with her speech. Here it comes… “Jason Cameron Anderson, do you Harmoniously, take Princess Celestia as your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you may live, in sickness and in health, in Harmony and Chaos, peace and war until death do you part?” Twilight asks the all important question. I paused, a million thoughts came through as I stared into the eyes of Celestia, I want to do this, I want to make her happy and I will make it so until my dying breath, because I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, I don't think a life without her would be the same as it were before. So from that I say... “I do.” I answered as Twilight smiled at me. “Princess Celestia, do you Harmoniously, take Jason Cameron Anderson as your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you may live, in sickness and in health, in Harmony and Chaos, peace and war until death do you part?” Twilight asked Celestia the important question. I wonder if Celestia was thinking the same thoughts I did when she stared into my eyes before she answered… “I do” Celestia answered . “Then may the rings come out and you may now exchange vows” Twilight says to us. Rainbow Dash handed me the ring I am going to give to Celestia and Luna gave Celestia the ring she’s going to give to me. It’s my turn for the vows. I got closer to Celestia and placed the ring on her horn. The Ring was a special kind of gold, one kind that hasn’t been around 1200 years but I pulled a few strings with the help of Luna and a talented ringmaker. The gold is special, it will never rust until the pony for which it was made for deceases and even after that it takes a while to lose its value, a special gem in shape of Celestia’s mark was on it. It costed a lot but it’s worth it. “Celestia, we went from just lovers on circumstances to never even imagining being without each other, I went through a near-death experience to realize that our relationship was more than the magic of friendship, it was the power of love. You went out of your way to ensure my safety and I will go out of my way to do the same for you, I promise I will love you for the rest of my days, I swear to any god or goddess that listens, I will make sure you enjoy true happiness. I love you Celestia, forever and ever and death will not stop me from doing that when that time comes” I say my vow. Celestia then smiled as she placed the ring on my wedding finger, it was a similar design but instead of the sun, a detailed planet Earth was there. “Jason, I thought I’d never find love, I admit in my early years as Princess, I never had time for something that seemed so petty to me, I only cared about Equestria and my own sister. I was a fool. Through light of recent events in the past couple of years, it’s been made clear that I cannot handle Equestria as just my duty or take care of my sister, my former student that is next to us running the ceremony and all that I care about as just another duty. There is Harmony in those things, there is love in those same things, that’s what drives me to continue day after day, I just never realized until recently. Recently, I found the love I thought so long ago as petty and it was anything but petty, you do not owe me making me happy, you already have, I believe that together, we will love each other in perfect harmony. I am ready to start the next big adventure in our lives and I know we will make it through with each other at our sides” Celestia did a vow of her own. I was touched, I really am. I think this whole last few months have been enlightening. The next big adventure? Married life? I say we are overqualified and one of us is massively overdue to start this next big thing. “And so it shall be, by the authority as Princess of Friendship, Element of Magic and through the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife, you may now kiss the bride” Twilight finishes the ceremony. Celestia and I moved in for the first kiss as a married couple, the second our lips touched I felt the magic flowing through me as we glowed once more and the pony parts…I could feel them better than I could before, it didn’t matter, the applause didn’t matter, what mattered was it was finally here…the next step, at 20 years of age I was married, my only regret that my family were not her to see this day, but I am sure they would be proud. We broke apart, I looked behind me to discover the pony parts were more clearer than before, there were cobalt blue coloured wings and tail, ears as well too. I liked them, but that’s for later. Now, we walked down the isle and out the door, we had a reception the do and I know a certain wife of mine is really wanting to get to the wedding cake (She can’t hide it from me). “You have beautiful new appendages sticking out of you” Celestia observed as we walked out the door. “Thank you, although they pale compared to yours, my darling wife” I reply back. “Oh these old wings that are old as I am? Although I am told I look good for my age” Celestia joked. “I did hear a rumor that mares are dying to know your secret” I continued the joke. “Alicorn genes, my loving husband. I still remember my mother, she looked beautiful the last time I ever saw her before she disappeared” Celestia said less jokingly and more honestly. “I miss my family, but I know they are proud if they did see us as well as your parents would be I am sure” I reply as I wrapped an arm around her. We ignored all the press flashing their cameras at us, and we went into the Just Married carriage that was to take us to Sugarcube corner for the reception and to fill Celestia’s stomach of next adventure yumminess. I am not worried now, I am not concerned, I am not sad, I am no negative emotion. I am happy, I have a sense of fulfillment in me, magic in me, I am ready. Let the married life begin… Author's Note Here it is! The BIG ONE! I had a good time writing this chapter and I've had it my head for soooooooooooooooooooooooooo long! There is but one more chapter left to do and it concludes the story. So you are married to a Sun-Goddess now. (The Finale)I had Celestia’s head resting on my shoulder throughout the ride to Sugarcube Corner, the sun was setting, some time in when we arrive, Celestia will lower the sun and Luna will raise the moon. But the pair of us felt so relaxed, we were MARRIED! Husband and Wife! YEEAAAHHHHH! WHOOOOOOOOO! Excited might needed be added to the emotion list. We arrived at Sugarcube Corner, it was time to greet all the guests and get cameras flashed in my face, but you can’t win them all. “A pity the ride wasn’t longer, I enjoyed resting on your shoulder” Celestia says as we get out. “Fear not my Princess, we shall have plenty of that once we get to the Crystal Shores” I assure her. The Crystal Shores was a special tourist spot near the Crystal Empire, on a Icy beach but the weather is as warm as the Crystal Empire and it’s known to be very soothing and had long history with the crystal ponies before Sombra showed up. Everypony was already there waiting for us as Pinkie greeted us. “Hi Jason! Hi Princess! Congratulations on the marriage, cooooommmeee on in!” Pinkie bounced in front of us. “Thank you Pinkie” Celestia gave Pinkie a smile as we entered. Just as we entered, the pony parts disappeared…awww, I wanted to see how they worked. Why can’t these just be permanent or not, just make up your mind! Anywho, the second Celestia saw cake she…well, let’s just say Rainbow Dash is no longer the fastest pony in Equestria. As I watched Celestia devour cake, Luna came over to talk to me. “Hello dearest Brother-in-Law, welcome to the family!” Luna greeted. “Thanks Luna, I wouldn’t have made it without you” I reply. “Nay, the thanks do not lie with us, if thou wishes to thank anypony, thou wouldst thank Cadence, but thou must admit that thy actions have proven thyself as a worthy suitor to Tia” Luna shakes her head. “Thank you Luna, I promise I’ll look after Celestia” I say to her. “Thou might want to hasten on that promise, we fear our sister may be overdoing it on the cake” Luna points out to Celestia eating the cake. “Hey Celestia! Save some for us!” I call out to her. Celestia heard us but didn’t reply to me at all, nothing stops her from cake, NOTHING!. “I suppose it’s fair warning to issue our sister of the royal dietarian’s wrath when the pair of thee return” Luna says as she watches Celestia eat more cake. “Don’t worry, I’ll pass the warning. As much as I would like to talk further, I must find the other ponies I wish to see before we leave” I end the conversation. “Of course Brother-in-Law, we shan’t keep you” Luna says as she leaves. I turn to find Princess Cadence waiting for me. Guess she's here to congratulate me. “Hello Cadence” I say as she comes near me. “Hello Jason, Congratulations, you’re married now!” Cadence squealed as I was hugged. “Thanks Cadence, although could you loosen the grip, otherwise Pinkie might sue for the death hug grip” I say Cadence then let go of me, Alicorns I swear are going to be the death of me, if so, it has to be Celestia. “Oops, sorry! But welcome to the royal family Jason, are you excited to be here or what?” Cadence says to me. “Yes, I am. I am so happy this is finally here” I say honestly. “I was like that when I was at my wedding for real, I do hope you enjoy the honeymoon and…don’t go too crazy with Aunt Celestia will you?” Cadence remembered her own wedding “No promises there Cadence, Celestia’s the crazy one out of us I reckon, I’m the guy who gets roped into too many things for my own good” I reply. “Oh, I think you cause quite the trouble, unintentionally but I guess Alicorns like that in stallions…and humans” Cadence thinks I’m a chaos maker. “Based on yours and Celestia’s marriage, might need more info on that one when Luna and Twilight marry” I say like I know what I’m talking about. “Hmmm, we’re gonna have to get onto those two at some point, Twily will be extra fun to tease, as well as Luna but not as much” Cadence is plotting in her head already. She definitely has it all planned out, I’ll bet you ten bits. “Didn’t Twilight have her eye on some Pegasus named…Flash Sentry I think?” I ask Cadence. “Uh…about that…see, I was trying to get Twilight to start thinking about love so I may or may not have asked Flash to clumsily knock into Twilight a few times, the best I got was Twilight blushing a few times but it never came anything. Also, I was going to try again but you and Celestia happened so there’s that…” Cadence explained to me. “You’re diabolical you know that?” I grin at her. “I know, but it’s for love. Nothing beats the power of love!” Cadence replies. Is it bad that I remember The Power of Love song from Back to the Future? “Well, I’ll leave you to it” Cadence says as she goes. I talked to many guests, each had their congratulations, though I did ask Twilight how she was allowed to be the pony doing the ceremony and apparently she took a course back in her teenage days when she was going through…that phase. It was almost time for a speech but I noticed one thing, Spike was eyeing a blue mare with white stripes in the mane, I think she was one of Twilight’s old friends from Canterlot. That said, although this was my wedding, I am a bro at heart always, I must help my young drake bro get some, it is my duty as a member of the bro race. “Hey Spike” I say to him from behind, making him jump. “Hey Jason, you scared me there” Spike says clutching his heart. “Sorry but I couldn’t help noticing you staring at that fine mare over there” I explained why I was here. “Fine? Shouldn’t you not be saying that around Celestia?” Spike asked me. “Maybe, but I’ll take the risk to see a brother through. So what’s the deal?” I ask Spike. “Well, she’s one of Twilight’s old friends…and mine and ever since she came back and Rarity rejected me…she looks nicer…” Spike explained to me. “Yes, you may have a crush on dear…what’s her name?” I ask Spike the identity of the mare. “Minuete, although she once had a nickname of Colgate” Spike tells me. “I see, and what are you going to do about her? Because this staring game is getting old” I ask Spike of his plan. “Uh well, she is older and we only ever talked a few times and…” Spike started. Uh oh, he’s going into quitter talk, I SAY SILENCE! Begone from Spike’s mind. “Spike, let me be the one to say this but maybe this is why Rarity didn’t like you romantically, you have no confidence in yourself and you act like a pincushion. But that can all change on one bit of advice…” I tell Spike honestly “What then?” Spike asks me. “Confidence Spike, females no matter the universe, no matter how tough or gentle they are admire confidence, you don’t need a Love Princess to tell you that one. There is something about a confident man/stallion/drake than turns on the fair female and even if you don’t feel confident, just appear to be, once you get to a certain position it won’t matter if you are confident or not, she’ll love you for who you are. Now I see one of two ways, Spike. One: You ask her out and she may say yes or no and if yes, awesome, if no, oh well. Two: You wait to ask her out and you repeat the whole Rarity thing when you could have had more time with Minuete or just let of It if you got rejected. I strongly suggest you take the first one.” I say to Spike “I’ll do it Jason but I’m…nervous” Spike still doesn’t feel confident. “I was nervous around Celestia at first, it takes time. But an old saying my dad used to say “Nothing Starts until YOU take action”, I want you to take action, you are right to be nervous but bravery is doing it anyway despite the nervousness, I was nervous as hell when I went down that isle, if I can do that, you can too Spike, cause I believe, now go! Ask her out! Full confidence and no looking back! If you do, I'll ask Twilight to double your chores.” I say as I get Spike to walk to Minuete (If anything, nopony likes more chores). Spike takes a deep breath and walks over to Minuete, he says some words and she smiled as the pair go to the dance floor, Spike you fucking beauty! Well, that’s my bro duty done, I must go. My wife needs me…I would fly off epically but my wings disappeared. That said, Celestia and I went to the table after 10 minutes and we had to go afterwards for out trip into the Crystal Shores. I ended up having a slice of cake...of so YUMMINESS! Yes that sentence made no sense but it's good damn cake, you shouldn't have to question the describing of it's yummy flavor! Mares and Gentlecolts, may I have your attention please?” Dash says into the microphone. Everypony pays attention to Rainbow Dash now. “Awesome, it is almost time for our pair of awesome lovebirds to go into their honeymoon. But first a few words from yours truly and then I shall hand it over to Princess Luna and then, a goodbye to our couple” Dash says in the microphone. Dash then clears her throat for the most sappiest speech in her life probably. “When I met Jason Anderson, he recently arrived from Earth, his home planet. A confused guy alone in his race. He was a cool guy but the new world was big on him, but then years later, here we are and he is an awesome baker and married to Princess Celestia, need I say more? He’s my best friend, we hang out and we tell each other how things are going and when I heard he was dating Celestia, I couldn’t believe it much less when he asked her to marry him. I guess all of us as friends and family could be said to be one harmonic family as I am saying the most sappy words ever, I just want to say one thing to you Jason, good on you! Let’s hear it for the groom!” Dash says her speech. A thunderous applause rained through the venue, I felt touched. I promise I'll save a good speech for you when you get married Dash! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! Luna went up to the microphone to do her speech to Celestia. “Greetings subjects, as all of thee knows, our sister has finally been married after many years. Our sister has been so much in her life to get to this night, she has bested many monsters, even us as Nightmare Moon, but now she has bested something not quite as a monster but a challenge as well: Love. Sister, you know we art with all the way and we all wish thee the best of wishes into married life, we hope we may follow thy hoofsteps into married life someday as well” Luna said her speech. I remembered what Cadence said, perhaps we really gotta get Twilight and Luna some love, especially Luna, she’s been single forever now! Luna walked down from her speech with the same applause, it was almost time to go. Five Minutes later we were walking out the door, many had cheered as we got in our chariot, I let Celestia go in first as being polite and I followed suit (Ha! Get it, cause I’m wearing a suit? No?). It was off to the Crystal Shores. “Are you ready to leave for the Crystal Shores?” The guard at the front asked. “We are, make it so” Celestia answered. “As you wish, your highness” the guard answered. And we were off! Up into the sky heading north, our chariot was closed in but I did peak out the window to see the Ponyville and Canterlot lights. After a few minutes the take-off feeling had settled and Celestia’s head was on my right shoulder. “You know what Celly? I think Starswirl did good after all with the pair of us, still gonna smash that statue when we get back though” I say to Celestia. “Hmm, he was quite a stallion back in the day, but he did cause quite some chaos, I wouldn’t do it in front of Twilight” Celestia replied, not moving her head. “Yes…well there is one more thing I'd like to share. There is one tradition about a wedding from Earth I remember, when the female marries the male, the female’s last name is changed to the male’s last name. Ponies don’t really have last names but if you were in my world and I guess here in a way, you’d be Celestia Anderson” I say a tradition of Earth that we had. “Interesting, I shall keep the name if you prefer” Celestia says. “Only if you want, this isn’t Earth after all. But in that tradition in the movies, when the husband and wife are dancing or driving off at a wedding, the man looks at his darling wife and say “I love you Mrs. ______” and the wife would reply “I love you too Mr. ______”, a bit cliché but I would like to say it because I’ve always wanted to say it when I got married, so here goes…I love you Mrs. Anderson” I say the one last thing. I didn’t expect Celestia to reply back, after all, it was just a little fun movie cliché I always wanted to say back when I was younger to whomever I’d marry, I’m surprised I remembered it. “It’s quite a weird name I’ve been given but…I love you too Mr. Anderson” Celestia smiles as she leans in. We shared one more kiss after that, you know what I call that kiss? The Everything-is-all-right-now Kiss! And besides… I know for certain, that everything is going to be just fine! THE END! Author's Note And that's the end of the story! I would like to thank Axl Bishop for pre-reading most of the chapter in this story. I would like to thank of all of you lovely and loyal readers for liking, favoriting the story and most of all, those who stuck around since the start. Thank you so much! Over 300 likes on this story has been accumulated on this story...there are some dislikes but honestly, who cares? This is the first story that isn't a one-shot that I've completed and there has been many attempts at the completed story but lack of motivation and such happened. So congratulations, this story gets a gold medal! But for now, until the next story and the sequel...what? Of course there's gonna be one! Did you really think this was going to be just a single story? You don't know me well then, but as I said, until the next story...IN WHICH I WILL CLIFFHANGER YOU ALL TO DEATH, MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! (Runs off like a madman). The Sequel (Link In the chapter)Well HEEEEERE IT IS, The Sequel after months has arrived. So, click down there when you're ready! (Or do it now because I'm holding you at gunpoint to click it and then I leave you alone) So you are about to be a father with a Sun-Godess
Oops...You know…I think if I were ever looking back at this moment, I'd notice I spent a good 2 minutes looking at the ceiling waking up before realizing I was not at my home in Ponyville and I am at the castle. I am not bright at all in recognizing things are wrong immediately. Why am I at the castle? I certainly do not remember this. Next question subconscious, why do I feel something warm and furry on my right side? So I look to the right and I see a large pony with white fur and a flowly mane with a sun on her flank…oh shit! DID I SLEEEP WITH HER!? First off, HIGH FUCKING FIVE DUDE! Second off, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Third, I gotta get the fuck out of here! Okay, those classes of getting out of bed with a sleeping female classes that my big bro taught me if I ever got caught in these situations will finally come in handy! Okay blanket…off…make blanket formation natural….pick up clothes, get in them stealthly while humming the Mission Impossible theme inside head and now for the super covert stealthy extravaganza escape, opening the door and… Celestia’s waking up…NOOOOO! Okay she’s rolling over… God, I know I am atheist despite sleeping with a goddess, but if you help me get me out of this without being detected I will convert and worship you. SHE’S OPENING HER EYES! DAMN YOU GOD! Thankfully the door is open, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN! 40 minutes later… I have no idea how I ran out of the castle and onto a train to Ponyville without something going down…I am really suspicious right now because I’ve seen enough shit in Equestria to know this would be a perfect time to do so and the fact it hasn’t happen means shit is gonna happen soon. “It’ll be fine, maybe she thinks Discord’s playing a prank on her, that wouldn’t be the first time.” I say out loud to myself. Discord would not have magically taken me next to Celestia for a prank, Celestia would have found out. I know we did cause you know when you do it and Discord has to stay away anyway, especially after that restraining order I got on him after he…violated my anatomy to become a pony mare just because I made ONE sexist comment. And trust me, if Celestia herself puts a restraining order, you do not defy her if you want to live! So that leaves me with hoping to damn hell she has a retard moment and doesn’t find out we totally banged…yeah the chances of that happening is the chance or red and black ponies being respected. And when Luna find outs…well let’s just say it leaves much to be desired. Cadence…I dunno…I can kind of see her going ‘WHOOOOOOOO!’ for some reason…she’d make a decent chick flick character, just saying. Twilight I can totally see in my head… “YOU HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH MY MENTOR!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?” or "How did it go? I must make notes of this!” First one being more likely. Pinkie would throw a party because she has a party fetish, Rarity would be aghast I would talk about something like that, Rainbow Dash would totally hoof-bump, Applejack….ummm….what would she say? As for Fluttershy…eek. That’s what she’d do. The general public….NO! No thinking about that, just…go talk to somebody…you can’t just hold it in and sooner or later somebody has to find out. I know! I’ll tell Rainbow Dash…she may be blunt and a little insensitive but she’s still a pal and won’t freak out as much as the others “The Train to [Ponyville] will be arriving in [two] minutes, please make sure you don’t leave any belongings behind with you, we thank you for riding the Friendship Express and hope to see you next time” the voice on the train says Well,here goes… Aproximately 5.23470538 minutes later… “Rainbow Dash! I need to talk to you!” I yelled out to a cloud with a certain Pegasus with it. Said Pegasus came down to me…10.1 seconds later, god is she slow…hope that converts to sex or her appeal is going down fast…what? Like you haven’t thought those thoughts. Anyway I dragged her into an alley for private conversation…NOT THAT PRIVATE CONVERSATION YOU DIRTY MIND PIG! “So, Jason. What’s up, dude?” Dash says all casually. “Long story short, I fucked the Princess of the Sun while somehow drunk and I am totally screwed when she finds out it was me” I shortly explain in a blunt way. “Dude, did you really bang Princess Celestia?” Dash said in awe, like I had just done the most awesome thing ever. “Yeah…drunk” I admit to this with probably nowhere near as much shame as I should be feeling. “Dude! That is awesome! Gimme some of that respect right here!” Dash holds a hoof up. And then the hoof-bump happened, that’s what I like about Dash, you could tell her you blew up Griffionia and you’d still get a hoof bump, plus she’s loyal as hell, try getting someone that loyal back on Earth means they’re loyal to a fault translating to fucking dumb or they’re getting in your good books to stab you kind of thing. Stallions, you need this girl around if you looking for somepony who'll stay with you. She ain't me though, trust me we tried. “Yeah! But I don’t think Celestia’d be mad at you, you guys were drunk” Dash speaks her mind from experience. “Tell that to Luna, she’s totally gonna march up to my house and bring the moon down on it with a side of Royal Canterlot Voice” I mutter in fear. As if the gods were telling me to go fuck myself, Luna landed nearby with the most pissed look on her face…I thought I had more time and also, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! “Oh shitballs, Rainbow Dash you gotta hide me!” I plead with her immediately. “But-“ Dash started to protest but I was having none of it right now. “Just do it, I like my skin and you as a friend, I want to keep both so I need to not be seen” I say to her with puppy eyes “Well…those are the worst puppy eyes ever! But sure, I’ll head her off” Dash starts to leave as she gives me a wink as she enacted Operation: Distract angry Princess that will so murder me. Okay so I am hidden behind some bins and- “WHERE IS JASON!? COME OUT JASON AND COME BEFORE ME! HOW DARE THOU DEFILE MY SISTER? SHAME ON THEE! THOU ART LUCKY CASTRATION WAS BANNED 200 YEARS AGO OR THAT’S WHAT WE’D DO TO YOUR TINY GENITALS OF YOUR HUMAN ANATOMY!” Luna yelled in the most devil voice ever. Pinkie, you may have somepony running for your bits. Heavenly Lord, I know my last prayer was desperate, but I really cannot be found. I will never club again, never get drunk if I get out of this alive, please O magical god in the sky, I beseech thee! Help me in my dire time of need! “WHERE IS JASON, RAINBOW DASH?” Luna furiously yells at Rainbow in an effort to find me. “Whoa! Calm down Princess, what do you need Jason for?” Dash has her hooves up in an attempt to calm her down. Lesson: If you are not an Element of Harmony and you are telling a Princess to calm down and you didn’t land on the moon or be vaporized, you should count yourself lucky, double if you are a dude. Quadruple if you're me right now. So Luna angrily explained the situation and what my fate would be if I were found, thankfully she was heading away and then I proceeded to FUCKING RUN THE OTHER DIRECTION! There are 3 things that truly terrify me right now: Princess Luna The fear of possible pregnancy despite Alicorns being immune to that thing unless another Alicorn does it. The Demon Bunny, you know the one of which I speak. I think running is very justifiable for my existence to be continuing. Considering the last one will show up soon, he somehow always does. Twilight’s castle is near I could hide there and hope to all heaven and hell Princess Luna doesn’t find me there…bear in mind this is hoping, the fact I haven’t been found is starting to get- “Hi Jasie!” Pinkie says in front of me. “AH! Pinkie!” I literal jump out of my skin and fall back in. I then proceeded to check everywhere before dragging Pinkie into a nearby alley (There are a lot more than you’d think). “Whatcha doing?” Pinkie asks me with her trademark smile. “Oh nothing, justhidingfromPrincessLunawhoisabouttokillme! How about you?” I say really quick and innocently. “Oooh you’re playing hide and seek with Princess Luna, I got you! I won’t say a word!” Pinkie sort of catches on. “Huh? Hide and seek? That's not what I...I mean YES! That’s what I am doing, playing hide and seek with our dear Princess of the Night who is threatening to kill me for reasons I will not disclose. It’s very important that she doesn’t find me, so can you be a pal and distract her, please?” I grinned evilly as I could see my convincing skill level up. “Okie dokie lokie! One super-duper distraction coming up” Pinkie instantly smiled. Pinkie then proceeds to go in a direction to assist Rainbow in Operation: Distraction. Heh Heh, this is like taking candy from a baby, I should know, I actually did that to the cake twins on Nightmare Night, serves them right for pouring flour all over my costume. Now to make my cunning escape and- TAP TAP! Oh no, the devil bunny is here, Angel Bunny! I turned very slowly to the evil grinning bastard. I am so fucked right now and not in the good fucked way. “Hi Angel, how’s it going?” I smile innocently ‘I hear you are running from the Princess, shame if she suddenly found you’ Angel puts on a troll smile as I am sure those are the words he conveys. “Don’t you do it” I look him sternly in the eye and pleaded. ‘Imma do it’ “Don’t you do it!” ‘Imma do it’ “ANGEL NO!” I yell as I see him about to do his screech. ‘Angel YES!’ Oh crap…she’s coming this way! OH FUCK ME IN THE BALLSACKS ON A FISHSTICK! WHY ME? “WE HATH FOUND THEE JASON! THOU WILL NOW ENDURE OUR WRATH!” Luna shouted as she went super-speed at me. “You… white furred son of a bitch” I looked at Angel for the brief second before the inevitable thing happen. I was quickly grabbed around the throat and teleported…straight in front of Celestia. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-- Author's Note So, a new story that's...been here a while in me head. It had to get out because my brain was all like DISK SPACE RUNNING LOW! And I was like, GET THAT OUTTA THERE NOW! Anywho, some chaos will be in this story, yaaaay. Oh, and if anybody wanna pre-read or edit out of the goodness of their heart...please PM.
No humans were severly harmed in the making of this chapter, sanity and I.Q...that may be a different story.-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCK! Here I am, pretty much going to be executed because Celestia and Luna are right here in front of me. Luna’s rage could melt the entire planet away if she wanted, in fact I am surprised I am even still living or at least not melting, Raiders of the Lost Ark style or even just the wicked witch of the west. “Please don’t kill me! I have 5 cupcakes at home I need to eat, at least let me eat them!” I pleaded at Celestia’s hooves in basically an instant. “Jason I-“ Celestia starts but I continue. “I didn’t even say good-bye to Dash!” I say all dramatically at Celestia’s horseshoes. “JASON! We are not going to kill you, we, as in you, Luna and myself are going to talk.” Celestia says a bit louder to get my attention. So…I get to live? I GET TO LIIIIVVEEEE! “So, no knifes, no beheading, no nothing?” I ask, still unsure, especially the way Luna is looking. “That is correct, now all I want is both sides of the story for now and you will tell the truth and nothing but the truth, are we clear?” Celestia states her intentions calmly. “Yes” I answer. Oh lord help me, this day has already been ruined! No Jason, just act natural and you’ll get out fine enough to get that demon bunny for this. Wait, why am I praying the lord again? He hasn't helped me out the previous two times. “First off, did you for sure “Sleep” with me?” Celestia asked me calmly. “I…yes…sorry” I bowed my head in shame. There was no lying to a Princess. “So thou should be” Luna growls. “Second question, did you remember any action that you wanted to do this on purpose?” Celestia asks the next question “No, all I remember was a party and then…oh yeah! There was that drinking contest that I challenged you to and then next thing I know is that I am in bed with you with all my clothes off” I answered honestly but a little bluntly. “Last question, do you know of an ancient law about bedding Princesses from way back in my early teenage years that you have activated?” Celestia asked seriously, like dead serious in a "What have you done?" sort of serious. “No.” I reply Celestia looked satisfied with my answers but then serious, this isn’t going the right way is it? It's going to go downhill isn't it? Any day the demon bunny shows up to screw me over generally does. “What is it Princess? There’s more isn’t there?” I ask her seriously. “Well, this law was way back when my parents were the rulers of Equestria just after the three tribes had settled here. I was a mere teen and my parents cared who I ended up with and the only way to make sure that male that ended up with Lulu and I was sincere was to make this law” Celestia explains “Tis true, the law was passed on by one, Starswirl the Bearded” Luna adds in. “Oh, not him again!” I angrily cursed the bearded pony. Let’s just say a few of his works have screwed me over a few times to the point of if I ever go back to the past that motherfucker is gonna get killed by me and damn the wibbly-wobbly time stuff. First that dimension spell sends me to Equestria, then it causes all that chaos in Ponyville with that unfinished spell, which destroyed half my house by the way. And now this law appears out of nowhere, that Starswirl statue is so getting destroyed and damn the consequences. “Yes him, the law says whoever manages to “court” us and that includes bedding must be bound to marry the Princess” Celestia recites the law Starswirl made. “WHAT? So you’re saying one drunk night gets us freaking married!? That sadistic bearded bastard!” I am in utter disbelief (try saying the last four words five times fast). “We’re afraid it’s true Jason, thanks thy actions upon our sister, you two are as of now, engaged. Thou hath in laypony's terms, just proposed to Tia, congratulations” Luna confirms my fate. “Okay first, I’m so going to destroy one of his statues, second of all you’re the Princess for crying out loud! Just reverse the stupid law and get it done with!” I reply to this law’s existence. “We can’t, the one pony whom he passed the law to died before he could pass on to a successor so the law carries on forever until the pair of us pass away” Luna shoots down my suggestion. I was still having none of it. “Are you serious? Do you hear yourself? YOU ARE THE FUCKING PRINCESSES! No higher power resides in this country! Nopony fucks with you two, especially not you Luna, because quite frankly, you scare the shit out of me but right now you are knocking the I.Q out of me. That law thing is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, if you don’t like a partner you break up like normal ponies, if you love them enough truly then you marry the fuck out of them!” I went on about how stupid this law is. “We are sorry but we can’t, Jason. It’s the law and the law even by us cannot be changed, if we were to break it our royal title and your reputation would be stripped.” Celestia is actually accepting the crap. “Well I’m sorry I respect you Celestia as much as the next pony, but this is not something I can respect, it's outright stupid! The two most powerful beings in the kingdom bow down to a law made by a fucking pony with a dangerous unfinished spell fetish. I’m sorry but I refuse to believe this for one second, sure I can get that Luna is pissed that I, on accident did the dirty with you Celestia, but this is stupid” I argue even more. “It’s that or the punishment is public execution and while public execution has been outlawed, this law allows it as one of the loopholes” Luna says oh so casually. I even looked at the lawbook shown to me, Life-ruiner the Bearded made this punishable by death if you don’t marry the Princess you bedded…well this is tits. “There’s no other way?” I ask with one last faint hope disappearing. “None, as much as I regret it, you and I will be together for a long time” Celestia says I-I UURRRGGGGH! Stupid law! No, who am I kidding, if I had not challenged Celestia to some drinking game, I wouldn’t have gotten in this mess in the first place. Most of this is my fault anyway, can't even control my drunk self to not screw a drunk Princess, unless it was her that initiated it, I don't remember. “Fine…I guess there really is no choice” I concede defeat. “Thou are lucky there aren’t laws making bedding a Princess being a death penalty” Luna says, still a scowl on her face, she could still melt me. A slight pause in conversation happens just as I realize how screwed I am, I am only twenty years old and I am forced to marry a Princess I barely even know and that barely is only because I am an alien. “So what now? Do we just marry now or what? "You may now kiss the bride" or something.” I ask Celestia. “No, there needs to be time to sink this in and tell the general public about our…being together” Celesita hesitates on the last part. “Yes, because Luna yelling we banged while trying to find me in Ponyville won’t cause some ruckus” I sarcastically say to Luna. “Luna, is this true?” Celestia rounded on Luna, looking surprised. “Y-Yes, Tis true, we were merely defending thy honor, he had taken advantage of thee!” Luna admitted while blaming me. “My honor is perfectly fine, Lulu. And should I recall correctly, the pair of us were drunk at Miss Pie’s party so therefore the blame should partly be mine.” Celestia replies to Luna in a fair way, at least she's taking some of the blame. That brings up something I've been meaning to ask Celestia. “About that, I thought Alicorns don't get drunk, how exactly did you get drunk?” I ask a fair question to Celestia. Long as I remember, I know for a fact that Alicorns couldn’t get drunk, Celestia even said it when I first met her. She basically lied to me. “Well, I may have lied to you about that but it was a natural precaution at the time. Alicorns can get drunk like normal ponies, but we actually cast a spell to protect ourselves from being drunk and even poison. The reason you along with everypony else has been told is to protect against those that may think to get us drunk in order to advance their own agenda or even try to poison us, even with a spell poison is highly unplesant.” Celestia explains why she lied about the not-getting-drunk thing. “Thou will not understand just how many attempts there have been over the centuries, while we may have missed several centuries, we know and understand this fact” Luna adds "And let me guess, you forgot one time to put the spell on?" I ask Celestia with the most are-you-fucking-kidding-me look ever. "Unfortunately yes" Celestia answers with her head in shame You heard it here first, even Princesses can forget shit, where's your perfect Princess image now, ponies? “So…what now?” I have no idea what to do right now. “Well, there is naught for us to do right at this moment, for now you may go back to Ponyville, would you be so kind, Lulu?” Celestia gives me a free ticket back home for the day. Luna grabs me in an instant and then we teleport back… We landed roughly in front of my house, maybe I need a drink of two to start my chaotic first few hours of the day. I started to walk until Luna held me back by the shoulder. Luna was looking dead fucking threatening as hell. “We art warning thee now, thou may be engaged to our sister but does NOT mean thou art to mess around with her or act like the pair of thee are in love when not in public. If thou messes with Tia or even hurts her feelings so much as a pinch, we will be sure that your body remains will be found spread out all over Equestria for everypony to see, art we clear?” Luna threatens me with the “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you” speech. "Crystal as the Crystal Empire" I reply, giving my word I won't do anything funny. "Good, we shall be watching thee, fare thee well!" Luna says as she disappears. I am now left in front of my house all by myself and today has been a very fucking terrifying day. “That mare creeps me out” I comment on her recent behavior. Well I guess I can spend the day banging me head against a wall or drink my problems away a bit. How do I get myself into these messes? Author's Note Holy Alicorns, Flutterbat! 59 likes to 9 Dislikes in 24 hours, that's a damned record for me! You guys are the best! If there weren't a computer screen in between us I'd hug you guys and girls. I know this chapter is a lot of talking but more action will happen next one, I promise! Believe me, I Pinkie Promise and the pink mare with the huge machete is making sure I keep that promise. Also, I want to make something clear in case you're confused: I think that gods should be able to get drunk, it makes for some good story stuff. I find the whole gods cannot get drunk thing a bit silly, so I made it here being a ruse to prevent other countries from trying to poison the Princesses. I am not making Luna acting like bitch the whole time, I rather want her seen in this fic as defensive of her sister. There will be an Antagonist soon, but it's not going to be some evil creature like Chrysalis. I decided to make Starswirl this way because let's face it, how many times have you seen Starswirl seen in a way that isn't pure idolizing him? In fact, I'm surprised Starswirl's works aren't kept as secret as they should be knowing the dangers the ones in the show present. Trust me, If you delay Twilight's interventions with her friends in Magical Mystery Cure to get them back on track by at least half an hour, you are gonna have a very dark ending, not to mention that the time spell could have caused a lot more trouble as well. You didn't notice I skipped 5 did you? The Law that drives this plot is meant to be stupid for today's standards but in the past, Celestia's parents would want the one she ended up being with the be sincere on marrying on her and not for gain, also stallions wouldn't bed mares as much back in those days. Celestia hasn't found a stallion worthy of her in the time between then and now and now that I think about, it must be depressing. This isn't a self-insert...trust me you'd know if it really were, there'd be so much mindless sex like NORMAL SELF-INSERTS. I want it to seem that Alicorns can be quite incompetent at times, the law here proves this, highest authority in the world cannot reverse a law because BS! Rather silly isn't it? But Sillyness is all you live for sometimes, just ask Pinkie Pie! Any spelling mistakes, please point out and tips are generally graciously accepted.
"How's your day?" "Oh good, I get to marry the Princess"My house was not much, a bedroom, a kitchen and a sitting room, it was all I really needed. No over-the-top pools, verandas or any furniture that makes my house look was too expensive and tacky. The first thing I did was get a drink, surprisingly I don’t have a hangover, perhaps a no-hangover spell was cast while we were drunk? I will kiss whomever made that spell, unless it was Starswirl or it was a dude. “Well, to me getting married…yay.” I said to myself unenthusiastically. “You’re getting married!?” Dash says behind me, making me jump. Damn it! I completely forgot to lock the door. Can I be anymore idiotic today? Uh, don't answer that one, Murphy. “Uh, maybe?” I say as Rainbow Dash looks shocked and awed. “Who? Who is our big lug of ape marrying? And why didn't you tell me?” Dash asks as she’s next to me in mere milliseconds. “Celestia, long story” I answer simply preparing to get a shout in my ears. “PRINCESS CELESTIA!? YOU’RE MARRYING HER?” Dash shouted in absolute shock, half of Equestria may have just heard that. “Keep your voice down! I’m pretty sure most of Ponyville just heard you and I don’t want it out just yet” I urge her to shush. Dear lord Dashie, I’d rather this day not get worse anytime soon, my life is already over enough already, any more and I may go Twilight freakout on the town. “So what gives? Since when were the two of you an item?” Dash asks with the demanding voice for details, Rarity will be so much worse. “Since about a couple of hours ago, remember when I said I slept with her, turns out some ancient law from Celestia’s childhood says if you bed her, you gotta marry her so you are sincere or it’s death. Past has some issues personally” I summed up my reason why I am going to have a ring on my finger for the rest of my life. “So, some old law got you into this mess, can’t the Princesses just reverse it?” Dash asks with a "Oh that's bullshit" look. “That’s what I said, turns out the successor to Starswirl who made the law had died before he could pass on the rights to discontinue the law so it passed on until the Princesses die. Actual bullshit if you ask me” I explain why it couldn’t be reversed. “That’s total bogus dude! Must feel awful but awesome at the same time cause you get to marry a Princess!” Dash pats me on the back I guess it can be awesome as I can at least brag to some people and go in your face to that smug bitch back on Earth who said I won't amount to anything. “Yaaaaaay” I say very unenthusiastically “Come on, don’t you like her at least a little bit?” Dash asks reasonably…reasonable is strange for Dash, please stop it. “Well no, don’t get me wrong, her body gave me a boner when I first saw her but I don’t love her, we’ve barely had a few conversations before this and that was a year or two back.” I explain my non-existent love right now. “Only just a boner, dude! I’d go lesbian for her” Dash is literally in awe that I don’t have some sort of dream sex with Celestia. “I thought you were already lesbian” I could not resist that joke. “Ha ha ha ha ha!” Dash sarcastically laughs. Do I have feelings for Celestia? No! Especially not after one night after drunk sex I don’t even remember…well it must have been alright cause I just feel it did. Did I have some secret want for this? No, but other stallions do, Celestia has that body to die for. Celestia’s like that girl that isn’t too photoshopped but she has that body that many mares want and stallions to jerk off to and maybe dream sex her too…don’t lie stallions, I know you do it. She just has that perfect ass and a slight curve line that doesn’t look to try-hard or too laid-back, she has eyes that looks better than shiny gems. And her smile, I’ve seen her fake ones and her true ones like around Twilight for example, that true smile tells you everything is gonna be alright even if the world was burning around you. Oh and the mane and tail too, I’ll just leave those thoughts her for now shall I? Bottom line, you're gay if you did not ever feel that Celestia was damned hot, no pun intended. Yeah, I’m describing the Princess I have no feelings for and yet am marrying in that detail, what is wrong with me? Why aren't I jumping at Celestia like any other Stallion would, definitely nobles would do so, I hear they been trying that for years. “So, I got a couple of cupcakes, you want some?” I offer her one to change the subject. “Oh alright, but only one, I gotta keep the Dash physique if I am gonna keep Soarin around” Dash says as I go the fridge. “Are you two ever gonna fuck? You guys have been together for like a year and half, one may start to think you might going down the lesbo path” I ask her about her lack of sex. “Oh so it’s on me now is it?” Dash replies with a laugh “Yeah, a physique like yours and I bet Soarin would throw his wonders into your bolt and yet somehow it hasn’t happened yet, go any longer and I might change the "You need to get laid" line from Twilight to you.” I reply trying to make a sex pun. “Dude, that’s the worst sex pun ever” Dash laughs at my admittedly poor sex pun skills. “Yeah it was bad I admit but honestly, Pinkie even got with Spitfire to bet on how long it would take” I told Dash about the betting pool that was going on. Yep these two have been on at least 6 major dates and not one is ending in a rutting, so their close friends, Wonderbolts included started betting, my money is on 3 months later from today, just one month after heat season. That will be a horror. “Oh? And how will your royal mare do when the heat goes around?” Dash says, throwing the sex question to me. Oh crap, Celestia is probably going to go after me at heat season. I can distinctly remember last time, I end holding a door closed for the entire last night. “Highly unpleasant cause if we do fuck even against my will, Luna will basically kill me.” I shudder at the thought “Ah come on, she won’t kill you” Dash tries to reassure me. “Trust me she will, and heat season is already bad enough without you mare simulating the zombie apocalypse but instead of moaning brains you moan “Diiiicccccks”” I recount my last experience of the heat kind. “Ah it’s not that bad” Dash is clearly playing ignorant. “Yeah well you’re not yourself when you do that, I was this close from having accidental bragging rights to banging you first” I mention as I gave her the cupcake. “Come on, you would have loved it” Dash says as she eats said cupcake Aha, NO! Okay maybe back then when Dash and I were crushing on each other at the time, but now would be just cheating and Jason Anderson is not a cheating bastard. "At the time maybe, but you and I both know that it would never have worked out in the long run" I say honestly "Maybe" Dash agrees slightly, she knows in her heart it wouldn't have. "But yeah, I guess I'll spend my day here" I say, deciding I'd stay here. “Don’t you have work?” Dash asks. Pfft, Dash, telling me about work when she never- OH SHIT I DO HAVE WORK! It’s Monday! Mr and Mrs. Cake is expecting me! “Oh shit! Gotta fly!” I say urgently as I run right out the door. “I’ll lock your door, Jason” Dash called as I ran outside. Don’t worry, I trust Dash with my life and I know she’ll do it as a loyal friend. That's true friendship damn it! For now, I am 30 minutes late and I do NOT want to push it! Bye! Author's Note So, I'd like to thank axl bishop, whom has been kind enough to do pre-reading. Thanks man, you da real mvp. One more thing, anyone who wants to a pic for this story is quite welcome, I don't have money unfortunately but if you are feeling generous, feel free...ONLY IF YOU WANT TO! This chapter I guess you can call a chat chapter, nothing really much to the plot happens here but I like to show Dash and Jason in a friendship. Oh and the Cadence tag will be in effect soon, like a couple of chapters soon, so no, I don't have it there for decoration, although Shining Armor does if you know what I mean...you really don't because that was a lame attempt right there. Honestly, I like Dash as bluntly honest character, not afraid to speak her mind and sort of half a stallion in terms of understanding problems (What I mean is that if her exact personality were copied into a stallion it wouldn't be weird). One last thing, this story hit over 100 likes, that breaks milestone and record for me, thank you guys/stallions and girls/mares.
One shot, One Relationship.It’s been fifteen days since some stupid law forced Celestia and I to marry due to a drunk bedding. You’ll be happy to know that one vile Starswirl the Bearded statue is destroyed. But as for Celestia, I haven’t heard from her, not even a letter, Luna, nothing. Is Celestia mad at me? It’s understandable is she is, my stupid ass challenged her to a drinking game and we fucked up literally and figuratively AND royally. She could just be trying to sort herself out or she’s like me, avoiding my problems until it comes up, well it's human nature isn't it? Somehow I doubt Luna would let Celestia just shy away from this thing, it doesn’t seem like her. Luna can use the “You think you have it bad? I was thinking about my mistake on the moon for 1000 years.” line or something similar. That said, I think the waiting’s over, I’ve had enough time to hope this was all some dream, this isn’t something I can just run away from, Dash agrees, she may be blunt as hell but she has some damned good wisdom. I have one spare day today courtesy of Mrs. Cake and Pinkie Pie, I’m going to see Celestia and talk this out, I don’t know how but it’s better than sitting around here with some constant bloody worries about the whole thing. So here I was, expended my bits on a ticket and am currently going up to Canterlot by myself, I’d have brought Dash along but the board at the weather team were poking their noses in again so Dash has to be at top form to keep her job and her house, if she did lose she might crash with me and in the future that may cause problems with the whole marry thing. I’d like those problems and I’d never thought I’d say it, have my job on the line from the board rather than the inevitable consequences of marrying Celestia. I am not stupid, I know they’ll be people who hate me, people who may even want me dead in the future for something or another while being married, that thought alone has scared me into a couple of sleepless nights. Celestia has also been my thoughts, when a Princess that raises the sun and end up being together it’s very hard not to, why does relationships have to hurt so much and we're not even getting started? 30 minutes later saw me at the castle waiting in line to see the Princess, most petitioners. About half of which were nobles with their head so high and further would put their heads stuck in their asses. The other half must have some pretty pointless petitions, I’ve seen some of them, some may be legitimate, but that’s none of my business. I never felt in common with these ponies right here, they complain like idiots on a forum on just about anything as long as their exercise their complaining rights. I guess that’s the price of caring, the doors opened again as a pony actually looked satisfied came out. “Jason Anderson? The Princess would like to see you in person” A guard walked up to me. Guess Celestia saw me coming, at least I’m not storming in the throne room demanding to talk to her. “Fair enough, lead on please” I motion him to lead me to Celestia. I follow the guard , just your standard white furred blue maned guard, they actually have enchantments for that stuff, apparently they used to dye but the manespray costs were unbelievable until the enchantment was discovered. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be guard, I don’t think I’d be brave enough, no knight in shining armor here…haha! Get it? Shining Armor? Twilight’s brother? No? Tough crowd. So a floor up and few hallways later I was shown the door I needed to enter and Celestia already in it. Here goes nothing. “Hey Celestia” I say as I do a nod in a casual way. “Jason” Celestia merely said. “Okay, you know what this is about so let’s get right to it, shall we?” I start talking. “Yes, I admit I have been…avoiding the subject.” Celestia admits See? Even the great Princess Celestia tries to delay her problems and that’s Not perfect Princess: 2 Perfect Princess: 0. Need to up your game there, Perfect Princess. “Fifteen days does say that, I waited for that long, not even a letter, I’d thought you’d have figured something out by now” I say, honestly thinking she'd have a solution. “It is not the most appealing idea as I am sure you must feel the same way. Luna suggested three months from now we marry, it has to be done by six months according to the law” Celestia admits her reluctance to marry. “That’s enough time, but for now I have a question for you and I want it to be honestly answered” I reply and express a question I've had for a bit. “Yes, do go ahead” Celestia waits for my question. “Before all this happen, did you ever…you know? Want a husband, maybe a kid or two?” I ask my question. “No, I have never considered a family, my mind has always been in my duties and caring for those whom I call close, but a lover, children? Jason, I cannot say I ever have had thoughts about such things. There was never time” Celestia pondered a second before giving her answer. “You’ve lived so long but you don’t have time? Forgive me if I am utterly confused.” I am confused by Celestia's logic. "May I inquire as to why you are asking?" Celestia wants to know my reasoning. I’ve been thinking, maybe I give this a shot, you know? Try to get to know Celestia, see how things turn out. “Well, I don’t know about you but these past fifteen days I just can’t forget it or push it away, this whole thing, you know? But part of me is curious, I want to give it a shot, this whole thing. URRGH! What I am trying to say is that…I wanna at least try getting to know each other like a couple, date each other for a bit and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t and we'll find a way from there and if it does than awesome, you get me?” I send forth my proposition “You want to “date” myself? Is that what you want?” Celestia looks for clarification. “Yes look, for the life of me, I don’t think I could go through with this in some sort of loveless relationship where we didn’t try. I feel like I owe it to you at the least try just once. I am sure you didn't wait forever for a love that didn't even have an inch-assed effort into it.” I explain myself a bit more “Hmm, I admire your thoughts but…” Celestia trailed off. “Just one try, call it a practice run for all those public appearances we’ll have to fake if it doesn’t work out if you like, you can’t possibly lose in this situation and either way you'll win something, just ONE try” I beg for that one try. Why do I want it so much? The day I found out I was gonna marry a Princess I barely knew, it shocked me, it felt wrong but I won’t be a cheating bastard, I won’t go to other ways to quench my thirst to make it feel right. I have decided to make this work, all I can do is await her decision. Also, I guess one of my worst fears is being a crappy husband to someone...or somepony now, I feel like Celestia deserves better than this facade. “You have convinced me well Jason, we shall give it a go, if Twilight can try something new and enjoy it, I do not see why that would rule me out to try something I have never tried out before, so yes, I will in modern terms "go out with you" Jason Anderson” Celestia answers with the greatest answer a guy could hear. YES! Wait, why am I so excited, I just want to see where things go, but that said progress is progress. Phase two of Operation: See if we can love each other is now in motion. "So uh, when's a good time?" I ask Celestia. "For what?" Celestia asks what I am talking about. "You know, a date. Go out for a picnic, a diner something romantic and do datey things" I say, explaining what dates do. "Oh, day after tomorrow at 7pm sound satisfactory?" Celestia asks me. "Yeah sure, where do you want to meet?" I reply. "Your place I will pick you up as a mare named Sunny Skies" Celestia says "Okay you'll pick me up but no on the disguise" I answer Celestia's suggestion. "Why not?" Celestia asks why I disagree on the disguise "Well it's sort of a lame disguise, I mean no pony in Equestria has a Sun in the sky as a cutie mark or anything near it, nopony has a pink mane or a man like yours and also the way you act is like nopony else in Equestria and besides, Pinkie Pie would scan you from a mile away anyway" I explain why the disguise is a bad idea. For those who don't know, Sunny Skies is Celestia's alter ego, white fur tall as a normal pony with a pink mane and tail. Her cutie mark is changed to a Sun with a blue background to symbolize the Sunny Skies deal, ponies are quite literal in their naming aren't they? Well I saw through it and Pinkie, Twilight and her friends did so as well but nopony else. "Hmm, I arrive to our date in my real form, this would be a perfect to reveal our wedding, they'll talk when they see us, and then the public will ask and then I reveal our marriage" Celestia says Eh, good enough for me, I can't think of anything better. "Okay, so about that date...what do you have in mind?" I ask And let the planning begin... Author's Note So to be clear here, Jason doesn't really LOVE or CRUSH on Celestia, he just feels he owes it to Celestia to at least give it a good attempt. Celestia is kind of clueless on love as she never really had time for it unlike Cadence, she considers her closest of friends like family but she's never really wanted a Husband or kids. Yes Yes, the Sunny Skies cliche, I downturned that one, one the reaction of when the two do date and two, Sunny Skies is kind of obvious anyway and besides, Pinkie Radar is not avoidable.
Jason needs a suit for his date, you get three guesses where.So yeah, I sort of asked the Princess of the Sun out on a sort-of date, how many of you can say that for your bragging record? That said, I’m glad we’re at least trying this out, hell we’ll get to know each other better, so win-win. That was now yesterday, I had told Dash of course, fist-bumps had happened of course and we were gonna be on a “date” tomorrow. Only one thing, my suit looks like crap after the what I dub the "Clouded Flank" incident (I'll tell you another time), sooo…I have to see…her. Rarity, she’s gonna beg me out of details like some gossipy mare, she makes quality work and always was thankful for being able to make human clothes but still she’s a bit…prissy. But it’s not like I have much a choice on clothing stores so I have to see Rarity. One dreaded walk later… “Welcome to the Car-“ Rarity started her welcome greeting “Yeah yeah it’s just me, Rarity.” I interrupted her. “You know it’s rude to interrupt a lady” Rarity is doing the “Lady” lecture thing again. “I did know the last 50 times thank you. Look, can we get on with it?” I rolled my eyes. “Very well, now what is it you require from me today?” Rarity asks as she gives a business-like look. “Basically, a suit because I am going on a “date”” I say with quote fingers and preparing for the reaction. “YOU’RE GOING ON A DATE!?” Rarity yelled in shock causing me to fly up for 2 seconds there. “Sheesh not so damn loud!” I say feeling my ears to see if they were alright “B-But you…a date? I thought you didn’t entertain the idea of going out with ponies?” Rarity asked me. She wasn’t lying, I had admitted I didn’t have a desire to go out with ponies of this world but…guess that changed in one night didn’t it? “I do now” I answer. “Who? Who? WHO? Spare no details!” Rarity was literally begging me for details “Nope, won’t tell. It’s a secret” I deny her the identity of my date with the most Ha-Ha I know something you don't smile on. “Please? Please Pleasepleaseplease? Even something about her?” Rarity tried to get some details out of me. “Sure, she hot as the sun and she has a great smile, that’s all” I say with a troll smile “You are messing with me, I suppose that’s all I am getting out of you, follow me to measuring room if you please” Rarity sighed Now, I remember my first meeting with her, got told my taste of clothes were horrible…usually it’s the belly insult, let’s just say I had strong arms and legs but a fat belly, got a lot of fat jokes and then a lot of people with black eyes. Since then my physique is now fit so no more fat jokes and no ponies with black eyes, you may never call a woman fat to their face, but a man will generally get as violent results. Where was I? Oh right, she was really excited to make me some clothes, stuff about a challenge or something like that, proceeded to spend 2 hours getting measured and having her do designs, fun. Come to think of it, most of my first meetings didn’t go so well, even Dash and I had an argument and she thought I was some monster spy or something, we made up of course. Weirdest one had to be Lyra, that mare is…weird, examined my hands for 5 minutes and then she licked it and I was “NOPE!” and then outta there. “Jason, do you want a copy of your last suit or a slightly different design this time?” Rarity asks as she measures me. “Maybe a slightly different design, not too different just a different shade of colour, and I will need the suit by tomorrow night” I say to her as I decide for a different suit. “Hmm, very well, your mystery mare will want to see you at 100% dashing by the time I am done” Rarity says that my suit will be awesome and it will. So about that date, it’s gonna chaos the day after like you wouldn’t believe. I know I have gone over it, but I really want to go over it again to pass the time here. So here’s the skinny, Celestia is not gonna do some speech saying we’re getting married, rather we’re having a date and Celestia is not gonna be in disguise so everypony flat out knows we’re dating and then when they ask, Celestia and I say we’re getting married and they’ll all be like HOLY FUCKING SHIT! It’ll be hilarious…in my head it will anyway. Point is, why tell things outright when ponies can just see it for themselves. Don’t worry Dash knows and her mouth is shut because she’s loyal like that, don’t ever change, Rainbow Dash. So yeah, Celestia is picking me up at my house and then we go out for a night picnic I guess you can call it under the stars and then we dine at a Ponyville restaurant, where everypony is going to see it there for the big reveal, cause we're diabolical like that. But enough of tomorrow night, I need my suit first. “Thanks Rarity, so I hear you tried to expand into Canterlot” I say changing the subject while getting measured. “Oh yes, but I couldn’t bear to go “Commercial”, but I suppose dreams aren’t always going to go exactly as you plan it” Rarity says casually. “They never really do. I wanted to be a video game designer but here I am in Equestria. Besides, where’s the fun in victory if it’s too easy?” I say my wisdom on the subject. “Very true darling, but I will keep my vision alive, even if it’s just a boutique, as long as I do what I love, I am happy” Rarity replies to that. “I also hear you helped Rainbow out of a spot with the Wonderbolts, so I also want to thank you for that” I add in another thing I have heard from Dash. “Oh that, while blunt and brash Dash can be, she’s still my friend and she deserves a shot at her dream as much as I do” Rarity says for Dash. I can respect that, friends that look out for one another, I guess it’s like Dash and I, I helped her get with Soarin and she helped me get accepted into this world despite our misunderstanding. I say we're about even. “Yeah, so will it be ready by tomorrow afternoon?” I ask Rarity if it will be ready. “It will be ready darling, your mystery mare will be swooning for you to take her into the night in just the right amount of romantic fashion and then you two kiss in the bright moonlight and-“ Rarity went all Romance like, so I am interrupting her there. “Blahblahblahblah, too much sappy stuff” I say real quickly “Oh…oopsy daisy, well I must get to work on designing your order, see you say, 2pm tomorrow afternoon? You can pay then” Rarity decides on a time to get the suit “Sure thing, thanks Rarity, you’re a diamond” I say as I leave the boutique. “Toodle-loo” Rarity farewells as I close the boutique. Yep, so the big reveal is tomorrow night and I have nothing else to do today or tomorrow. Dash is working right now so I can't talk to her, so I guess I’ll go home and do something, maybe catch up on the porn magazines...when I make sure nopony is looking this time. Oh don’t look at me like that, you don’t get any video porn here, dirty magazines are the best you get around here, especially since it has to be pony mares as well. Say what you will but Ponies can get those curves well just as well as humans can. Now believe it or not, there are actually Pony strip clubs, but ponies are naked all the time so I don’t get how it works but it involves a lot of stuff put on them and some good pole dancing…so pretty much everything a strip club has except the stripping part, it’s alright I suppose, I got curious and tried a lapdance and it was...weird. So why am I discussing this in my head in the middle of a street…I dunno, MAGAZINE TIME! Author's Note Yeah yeah, I know the Rarity into Romance novels thing being done but it's hard to not imagine her with some romance novels. Also, would Rarity believe that Celestia and Jason are together? Probably not.
Picnic under the starsIt is now 5:30pm on the night of the date and I am mothefucking pumped! WHOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay not that pumped but still, doing things and at least giving this thing a shot, that's what I am here to do and nothing else. I am at my home with the suit I picked up from Rarity, I had shaved my face down to reasonable levels, moustaches and beards are not too popular here (And a beard reminds me of the Starprick the Bearded), so it was clean shave. I did my hair up a bit too, you never look half-assed on a date, girls can and will notice since they are the masters of looking perfect and I am sure our sun-goddess Princess can tell a half-assed looking pony to a well-presented one. I remember when I was 16, a good 7 months before I was teleported (I am 20 now, been here about 3 years, go figure), I ended up being the comfort cushion as I called myself for being the shoulder to cry on and someone to hug when relationships broke in high school, and they broke a lot. What do you expect when girls constantly date self-absorbed asshole men and the leave the good guys behind? I guess it's about time I went on a date oh I could hear Joshua Gordon going in my head about that. Yep, the girls never learn back in high school…I just realized I never technically passed high school, not like anypony cares here, it was a month off anyway. I wonder how they are all doing right now? Probably in university or in some job that may not be the dream job. Anywho as for me, I have a date with the Princess of the Sun, was I looking forward to it? Well yeah, we have to marry and I’ll be damned if it’s gonna be some long boring relationship with fuck all happening. I’m no bastard, I don’t go sleeping around with multiple women, I don’t fuck somepony and say “See ya never, bitch”, If I am to marry, I’m gonna be a fair husband damn you! That’s a Pinkie Promise. KNOCK KNOCK! What? 6:58? Already? Did I spend an hour and a half doing this? Good thing I’m ready. I open the door and there’s Celestia and… OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD! She’s….she’s...so damn beautiful! Look at her! She’s got a dress on that’s pure white and yellow at the edges, her wings are out and I swear there’s pure light coming out of her, that or the my brain has the romance mode on. Bottom line, holy shit ona fishstick she’s hot! Hot as the sun she controls…I’m in love. Get that jaw back up, Jason! You look like an idiot! You can still salvage this greeting. “Wow Celestia, you look...stunning” I say as I look her up and down. “As do you, Jason. Now, shall we go on our date?” Celestia asks me. “Yeah, let’s go” I answer, ready to get this show on the road. I grabbed a couple of snacks that were in my basket as we left for the outskirts of Ponyville on a hill, we decided to teleport at first and then reveal ourselves as we go to the restaurant to make it official, otherwise I would have spent all the time here. The stars and the moon were quite nice tonight, I wonder if Celestia had asked Luna a favor, I’m surprised Luna didn’t come to kill me the last two days, I guess Celestia told her to back off or Luna is letting me do this to an extent. “What a beautiful night it is” Celestia comments on the sky. “Luna must be being on her A-game for tonight it seems” I say to her, knowing full well Luna had been asked for this beautiful night. “Yes, Lulu was always one for showing off beautiful nights whenever somepony close to her would date, although it was only ever a select few” Celestia mentions this fact to me. I laid out the Picnic blanket across the grass, we weren’t gonna get our dress and suits dirty now were we? “So, I must confess something, I am extremely as they call it, negligible in the art of dating” Celestia confesses. “Really? I’d have thought a Princess like you must have picked up a few tips over the years” I honestly say my thoughts “Oh, like with Cadence? I’m afraid my idea of love is highly outdated, I remember when potential suitors would attempt to woo my heart over in the early days by sword-fighting and romantic gestures. In modern times, that sort of thing is considered something you would see in a romance novel full of cliché.” Celestia admits her love knowledge is very outdated “So, not even a romance novel in the least?” I ask her. “Not in 200 years and much has changed since then” Celestia answers. “Oh well, to tell you the truth, I have never dated before either and not too knowledgeable on dating customs here” I admit my lack of knowledge too. Yep, the pair of us are amateurs. A Sun-Goddess and Exotic one-of-a-kind human in Equestria are amateurs at dating. “Do tell, what are some dating customs of your world if you remember?” Celestia asks with interest. “Well usually it’s romantic for a guy to pick the girl up, the guy pays the bill, they would tell each other about themselves and things just go on from there, either it ends up being completely boring or it ends up great that a second date ends up happening or maybe even some love happening” I explain my knowledge of love. “That sounds much like what I have heard on love” Celestia says interestingly enought. “I don’t see why you couldn’t have asked Cadence, she’d guide you on Love and probably do it instantly” I ask why Cadence’s help couldn’t be used. “She was busy” Celestia answered in a "I may have forgot" tone. “Okay, fair enough. So uh, you want to start on some of this food?” I ask her as my stomach rumbles. “I have not eaten since lunch time so I would very much like to, what have you brought?” Celestia answers as the conveniently timed rumble in her stomach makes its mark. “Well, there’s some hay sandwiches, Bon Bon’s delicious candy and of course, some rich chocolate mudcake” I answer, knowing she'd like the last one. “There’s cake?” Celestia’s interest has gone up exponentially “Why yes there is, I know how much you like cake” I say that with an all-knowing smile. Okay so funny story for you. You see, Celestia has a diet pony…I forgot the term, and she’s evil, so evil that she forbid cake from ever being consumed, it is the most evil you can get in this country. Of course, Celestia was having none of that so she did what every sensible being does, cheats on the diet. You have three guesses where she goes to and that would explain how I know. Yeah, she went to Sugarcube corner in secret, she convinced Mr. and Mrs. Cake to give her cakes in secret every few weeks or so at the back door, she’d pay the bits and run off with the cake without nopony any the wiser, she thought she could hide it but I knew too. So yeah, guess you could call that little thing Cake trafficking directly into Celestia’s stomach. The best part? The diabolical diet pony hasn’t found out yet, so ninja mode over here. Oh yeah, that all happened after the whole Gabbling Gums incident or whatever it was exposing Celestia’s love for cake and my love for Rainbow Dash at the time, those devilish crusaders. One of these days those kids will get hurt, I swear. “You know my tastes too well” Celestia comments as her mouth literally drools Cakes, Celestia’s turn on button. Take note, any future suitor that comes for her after I die, for any reason that you would try take Celestia. “I may have observed some cakes going out the back door if you get my drift” I say to her. “She hasn’t found out yet” Celestia tells me as I know of whom she is referring to. So we proceed to eat some cake, but right now my thoughts are arguing, I’d wish they’d stop. ‘Okay, so this date is going all right so far gentlemen’ I think to my thoughts…that made no sense. ‘Well? You are eating chocolate cake with the hottest fucking Princess ever, you are our hero Jason!’ Heart says waving a #1 giant hand thingy. 'Whoa there, don’t get too cocky there, this date only just started, anything can happen’ Brain reasonably says to me. ‘Yeah, I know not to diss Murphy’s law’ I roll my metaphorical eyes. ‘And not to annoy Luna too, she’ll kill us if we do’ Heart adds in. 'Look man, all I am saying is that if you play your cards right, you could get a happy relationship’ Brain puts his point forward ‘Yeah don’t worry, I got this’ I say to Brain ‘Just as long as you don’t screw it up’ Heart says ‘Like I said, I got this’ I say, ending the conversation So we then proceeded to eat some more food…very delicious slightly fattening food. I think it’s been twenty minutes by the time we are done with our food, next conversation. “So do tell more about yourself” Celestia asks to describe me more Oh god not that question...who am I? What am I? What do I say? AHHHHH I HATE THIS QUESTION! Just say saything “Well, I guess I am twenty years old, work at Sugarcube Corner, never been kissed…unless we did that while doing the thing, a blunt person something and overall just am a chill guy” I describe myself really quickly. When somepony asks me that question, you just forget all your qualities you know? I think I did well on the question. “You sound like you are a laid back gentleman” Celestia comments “Well, I try to not let things get to me, so what about you?” I return the question to Celestia. “Myself? I can’t say I am too much of interest, I am an immortal Sun Goddess, I rule Equestria with Luna, I do my best to make sure everypony is safe, I care for even the tiniest of my subjects and I love cake” Celestia describes herself. “Very interesting, so uh, first date in all your life, how does that feel?” I ask awkwardly “Well I’d say it’s doing just fine, I admit having no idea what to expect once again, it makes a nice change from listening to nobles or planning how to make sure Equestria stays safe, I feel like I am with Twilight on our talks back when she was my student except I feel a difference and I am not sure what is so different about it at the same time” Celestia says We just paused for a while and Celestia's eyes, can you stop being damn beautiful for five seconds, I am trying to concentrate. “Well, this is kind of nice, just chatting normally getting to know each other, sure beats just trying to get to know a random chick and have them say the “I have a boyfriend” line on me like back on Earth” I say after a while. Those lines are the worst, you just can’t tell if they do have one or not because the situation is so awkward that you end up not contesting the statement. “I can say the same, so long it has beem since I have such a refreshing conversation with somepony that isn’t Twilight or Luna. I confess that I would very much like to do this again” Celestia says “I do too, shall we get on to the reveal?” I ask Celestia “I suppose we must, as much as I would like to do this for the rest of the night, we have a reveal to do” Celestia answers Celestia looks like she would very much rather be here than revealing our marriage. I feel the same way. The pair of us got up, packed our picnic up and Celestia teleported us to the outskirts of town not too far from where my house was. (Celestia had snuck some cake down and teleported the picnic stuff back to my house, nice try Celestia I saw that) It was time to get this over with…unfortunately… Author's Note So, our two datees...is that even a word, anywho, turns out the pair are kind of amateurs at dating. Anywho part II of the date is coming up, stay tuned (Or i'll summon the demon bunny on you, don't think I won't do it)
Oh look, turns out I was Dating Princess Celestia the whole time...oops.You know, the picnic under the stars wasn’t so bad after all, but now it’s time for the reveal, the revealing of where the public knows we are marrying. You know that shit-eating grin you get when you suddenly have won a prize and now you’re sort of showing it off to everybody as they’re stating at you in jealousness or awe or something similar? Yeah that’s happening right about now, except I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I am kind of trying to do the “Oh yeah, I’m dating Celestia,” all like it’s nothing special. So it was eight o’clock at night, ponies were still out and the ones that were out were turning their heads speaking along the lines of “Is that, Jason…and Celestia!?”. It was glorious confusion, oh such glorious confusion. I mean ponies were literally coming out to see for themselves so much that they may have seen Jesus walk through town…well Celestia is a goddess of the sun…soooo it’s close I suppose. We arrive at the restaurant, it’s like the only restaurant you’d sort of date at in Ponyville, I mean don’t get me wrong, there’s Sugarcube Corner, Hayburger and stuff but they’re like lunch time catch up places or something. Anywho, Celestia speaks up. “One table, reserved under Celestia” Celestia says all casually to the guy at the front desk. “Your highness, it is good to see you again, I shall lead you to your table” the pony lead us both to the table we reserved “Thank you very much” Celestia thanks the pony as we get seated. “You are most welcome, your highness and to you too, sir. Though I must ask, forgive me, are you two…dating?” The pony asks us very curiously “Dating? We are actually engaged” I say to the pony with a grin. “Y-You’re marrying?” The pony was in disbelief. “Yes, that’s correct” Celestia clarifies. The pony then fainted on the ground…was it something I said? Poor stallion, thankfully another waiter showed up to take him somewhere else and then left us to our menus. “I do have that effect on ponies, this is not the first time a pony has fainted in my presence” Celestia says with a smile, apparently not too concerned about the pony. “I’d imagine so” I reply. Imagine if all her life not one person ever fainted…that’d be a damn record. “So, what’s being a Princess like?” I ask curiously. “Oh, I would say it has its ups and downs, I love ruling a nation but I some of my subjects can be a hoofful” Celestia says “I see, I don’t see good things from some subjects, especially the nobles, between you and me but I honestly hate Prince Blueblood, that guy needs to be dumped at the bottom of a well” I say truthfully. “I rather dislike him, but I do not think dumping him in the bottom of a well would solve problems” Celestia says to me. “Yeah, he would teleport, or we could cut of his horn and then throw him down the well” I answer back. “Jason, we are not going to throw Prince Blueblood down a well. (As much as the idea entertains me)” Celestia says sternly. “Awwww, so uh…” I start but a waiter comes back. “Your Highness, Sir, have you chosen what you would like tonight?” the waiter asks the pair of us. “I might have the Spaghetti please” I say my order. “A Hay and daisy sandwich if you wouldn’t mind” Celestia says what she wants. “Spaghetti and Hay and Daisy sandwich, will that be all?” The waiter asks. “No, we should be fine with those” Celestia says to the waiter. The waiter goes to get our orders, meanwhile there are some cameras outside the restaurant, took them long enough. Must have been here for 15 minutes by now. “The cameras are here” I say to Celestia, pointing in the direction of the cameras. “So they are, just ignore them Jason, they’ll click for a while” Celestia advises. “Do they have to be in the bush? Seriously, that bush is distracting.” I ask Celestia why they must be in that damned bush. “Oh paparazzi practically make bushes their trademark spot, you’d think ponies would learn by this point, also I notice my former student, Miss Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash have joined in on the spying” Celestia points out. “Huh?” I look around Celestia was pointing to the left of the cameras and sure enough I saw the four ponies who immediately ducked after I looked their direction. “Oh, Rainbow Dash sort of knew but Rarity must of blabbed about me having a date when I got my suit, I didn’t say it was you” I say. “I understand, I have heard from Twilight that Rarity is a bit…gossipy, reminds me of a mare I knew in my early days, her cutie mark was actually gossip itself if you would believe it, had to use a spell on her to stop gossiping too many secrets” Celestia says in a matter-of-fact tone. You get three guesses as to what her profession was. But anywho, not much happened, I mean we talked for another 30 minutes, our dinner arrived (Very delicious by the way), and more talking just to make sure ponies found out and there were a lot by the time we were making our way out to pay the bill. Celestia being rich and all because she's a Princess tried to pay for it, but I was raised well damn you! I paid half the bill in the end and damn the expense! DAMN IT I SAY! Now there was a whole ARMY of paparazzi hanging outside the restaurant Celestia did us a favor and teleported the pair of to my house. We landed at my house, we turned the lights on and our date was at an end. “I enjoyed tonight, if I say so myself” Celestia starts the conversation “I did too, I didn’t know dating could be so much fun, the picnic part at least” I reply honestly. “Yes, I am rather a fan of starlight picnics, I must thank Luna when I get back.” Celestia made herself a reminder to thank Luna. “Celestia, I want to do it again sometime, just me and you under the starlight, I loved it, I really did.” I say honestly “As did I, when a suitable time comes, I will contact you, I only wish I had done this sooner” Celestia says truthfully as well. “Well, humans were never wisdom-ish in chasing a fair lady for a date” I put in my Earth experience of guys chasing after girls. “I do believe the same is with stallions” Celestia remembers that being the case. We just went all silent, you ever start to analyze everything or some thoughts just start happening…that was happening and right now it was Celestia, sure she had some hay stuck on her face but I swear she still have pure white light glowing out of her, that or my brain has forgotten to turn “Romance” mode off. Still, I swear there was music coming from somewhere too, that better not be the magic of music coming to claim my soul. She was just smiling, there’s something about that smile, it just tells you that the whole world could be burning, your end will be nigh but you still feel like you’re on top of the world and every little thing is gonna be alright. She looks like a damned angel I tell you, ponies don’t know what they are but the Angel depictions are lacking compared to her. I couldn't help but smile too, smiling is good for, builds happiness and stuff. ARRRGH! Enough of those thoughts, I was almost lost there for a second. Wait a moment, I’m staring into her eyes…so beautiful…wait she’s coming closer to me…what does that tell me when a girl is coming closer to your face? Brain fart right there, can’t help but noticing I’m going closer to Celestia’s face too…oh Kissing….KISSING! AW HELL NAW! Too late! Our lips were kissing…holy fucking shit! Celestia’s lips tasted like Strawberry cake…it’s like my lips were being given a blowjob…okay wrong metaphor or something but holy shit did my lips like it (You know? I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!). I kissed back and embraced it, not too late to pull back and…Celestia pulled out, uh not that pull out you dirty minded freak. Oh god, Celestia’s blushing…am I blushing too, I can feel my face heating up…did she realize what she just did? I know we just fucking kissed! “Wow…um…” I started “I-I have no idea why I did that...” Celestia stammers quietly. “No, no. It uh…” I couldn’t say what “It” was…my words weren’t working. “I-I better go, S-See you a-around, Jason.” Celestia says very nervously as she starts to trot off. Celestia just teleported away, leaving me in front of my house, I am very fucking confused…maybe I should either just get a drink or just go to bed…tonight has been fun but just then…I have no idea what the fuck just happened. One moment I was saying good-bye and then we just kissed! I just wanted to give this a shot, I didn't think we'd be KISSING! Wait until Dash hears about this one. I’ll hit the hay actually, besides, tomorrow is gonna be long.. Author's Note Yes I know, the Prince Blueblood is a jerk thing is here, but honestly, the show is really not helping matters and honestly, what are nobles even for anyway? "Romance Mode" is sort of what I call that moment when you stare at a girl and all the sudden there's damn effects everywhere making her pretty and music maybe in the background, I'd give a music to this but I honestly for the life of me can't decide, you choose what goes with it. This part of the date is meant to be the less sincere part in the story than the picnic, except for the accidental kiss of course...BECAUSE DRAMA DAMN YOU!
Eyes are a Mind control weapon (See also:Breasts, butt, smile, those really long legs that are quite sexy for some reason)It was the next morning, I dunno what it is but…it feels empty around here…like something is missing…my house is small and there adequate stuff filling it so why does it feel empty all the sudden. I had remembered the kiss…I don’t know how I got roped into that one, all I know is that I don’t think I’ve felt emptier waking up to my room than I have now. What is this feeling I am feeling, THIS IS STRANGE! HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODDESS I AM DATING HELP ME OH HEAVENS ABOVE! KNOCK KNOCK! “Who is it?” I ask through the door. “Princess Cadence, a word if you please” I head Cadence’s voice “Then come in” I say to Cadence from my side of the door. Princess Cadence came in, she looked like she had teleported a long way to come here, I wonder what she needs me for. I have only ever met her once when she curiously wanted to see what a human was like, to be fair, although wouldn’t you be curious if the role were reversed? Maybe, assuming you aren’t going full Alien invasion mode or something. Princess Cadence is the Princess of Love from the Crystal Empire along with Twilight’s “BBBFF”, bleagh! What corny childish things Twilight is referring to her brother. I mean I know the two are close but childhood’s over Twily, you wasted it on books, remember? I wasted mine on video games and I have no fucking regrets…except I never 100%ed Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Damn you wasted youth, DAMN YOU I SAY! And I went off in a tangent in my thoughts again, anywho, Cadence just sat in a chair opposite me, and I sat in my chair. “So, what can I do for you, Cadence?” I ask her. “To give you a fair warning” Cadence says her intent. “What warning?” I ask Cadence. “It’s about you and Auntie Tia, I am not giving some “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you” speech, those speeches here will not accomplish anything in this case, besides, it’s chiche, but on to the topic. While it’s now out about you and Aunt Celestia now getting married, you have unknowingly ticked off the nobles” Cadence starts her point. Yeah, so? They’re always ticked and I just said that to Cadence by the way. “My point being is that the Nobles will be plotting against you, you have done what they call the jackpot, a marriage with Princess Celestia, the ultimate agenda, the ultimate prize to higher their self-interests. I know personally that Princess Celestia would never let that happen, which is why she has never been drunk publicly, the one time she messed up was with you, out of any being it was thankfully you and not by the hooves of a noble, the results would have been bad” Cadence explains her point. “How bad would it have been?” I ask Cadence curiously. “Celestia to them is like a dangerous powerful artifact, if one were to marry Celestia, it’d be almost controlling her considering Celestia cannot worm her way out, a loveless one-sided marriage, if the Noble wanted foals to continue the bloodline, he could do it and nothing would stop him by law. A Noble as a Prince of Equestria is something that must never be, Jason. This is why I am glad it was you and not a noble when I heard about the incident. It shames me to say it, but the nobles are the scum of the modern day society and they will plot against you, Jason” Cadence continues Shit, I may feel guilty about bedding Celestia but better me than them. I’d think I’d gladly do it again to stop them. “So how will they plot against me, will they try to kill me?” I ask Cadence what their measures might be. “Not unless they are too extreme, they see you as a threat to their agenda, they naturally hate you, they will try to discredit you, hope that it will stop Celestia marrying you or at the very least make you look bad in front of the Equestrian Public. If they start really wanting you out of the picture than perhaps, all I am saying is you need to be careful in the presence of nobles” Cadence tells me about their tactics. “When can I expect them?” I ask. “When you least expect it, they will not dare go too extreme or direct under Celestia’s muzzle. Listen, from what I’ve heard you’re a good stallion, much like my Shiny, but this happened to us too, which is why I am warning you now, keep an eye out and don’t trust the nobles” Cadence says And then Cadences teleports out, like not even a good-bye, rude. That said, I need to find Rainbow Dash, I need somepony to talk to. Meanwhile, at Canterlot Castle... “So Tia, how was thy date on the previous night?” Luna asks Celestia. “Oh? I felt it went rather well, we enjoyed a wonderful picnic under the stars and a splendid dinner at the restaurant” Celestia answers with a smile on remembering the date. “Was that really all, Tia?” Luna gave a I-know-that’s-not-the-whole-story look at Celestia. “Well Lulu…we may have…kissed” Celestia mumbled the last part while going red. “What did thou say?” Luna asks as she did not hear what Celestia said on the last part. “I kissed Jason” Celestia said at audible level as her whole body was red. “THOU WHAT!?” Luna yelled “THOU WHAT!?” Luna’s voice rang out through Ponyville Birds just started flying out from trees as Luna’s voice was so loud it shook Ponyville. “Good Celestia!” One pony says. “What does thou mean, thy lips kissed Jason Anderson’s?” Luna asks. “I-I don’t know, one moment we were about say our farewells and then…it just happened. I have no idea why I did it” Celestia says while going even redder. “Tia, what art thou thinking? If Jason falls in love, tis will be one-sided love just because of a kiss" Luna reacts to Celestia's reason. "I know, I know! I have no idea what came over me last night, I was foolish and it went against everything our parents taught us" Celestia says "Dost thou possibly have any feelings for Jason by any chance?" Luna asks. "I..." Celesta hesitated. In truth, Celestia didn't know how she felt, which was unusual, she liked to be in control of her emotions, something she will ponder over later. "Well?" Luna looks expectantly at Celestia "I confess I do not know what I feel, I need more time to figure out my emotions" Celestia says "Very well, should Jason dare try to hurt thy emotions, let us know and we shall have words" Luna says "That will not be necessary, I must get back to my duties, Luna" Celestia ends the conversation so she can leave. Celestia ponders for a while, these feelings have been in her mind since she left Jason last night. Could Luna be right? Could Celestia be experiencing the feeling of love? Perhaps she should ask Cadence, she might know. Back in Ponyville... “…And then Celestia kissed me” I say to Rainbow Dash “Whoa…” Dash was in awe. I had just finished telling Dash what happened last night over by a park bench just outside town, took a while, what? Do you know how long it takes to track down the Pony version of Sonic the Hedgehog? Seriously, if Dash ate Chilli Dogs, she’d get sued into oblivion, thank fuck she’s vegan (By herbivore species, not choice). “Yeah, it was weird, I swear her eyes were like mind control” I say to her, remembering how much of a trance I seemed to be in that moment only without the memory loss that usually comes with it. “Jasssooooon, I command you to kiss your Princess, wooooooo!” Dash does her best mind controlling voice while waving her hooves in a controlling motion. “Ha ha, but seriously, then Cadences comes up and warns me the Nobles are really pissed at me and may try things” I say what happened this morning. “Really? That sounds serious, Rarity still hates that complete swine, Blueblood for what he did to her at the Gala, apparently Blueblood even tried to sue Rarity once” Dash mentions that one time at the Grand Galloping Gala (GGG). “Tartarus hath no fury like a mare being thrown into a pie’s line of fire, scorned works too” I say. Seriously, Bluebitch is lucky he didn’t get slapped upside the head, if I were Rarity I’d totally do that, only it’d be a right hook to his jaw as well. RUSTLE! “Hey Dash? Is it just me or some of these bushes are moving?” I asked Dash as I look around. Seriously, I swear those bushes were not there before and a few feet back. Click. “Not just you, it’s them” Dash says. “Oh these guys, the paparazzi” I say to Dash “Yeah, let’s get outta here” Dash advises us to GTFO of here. Suddenly the Paparazzi knew they were found and they had questions and industrial strength cameras, the worst kind of camera there is. “Mr. Anderson. We-“ One of them starts “RUN!” I yell. Dash and I were literally going full Looney Toons running in the air before actually running off, complete with the sound too (probably Pinkie Pie). It’s time we made ourselves scarce… Author's Note So to be clear, The nobles aren't really aggressive ponies in terms of violence, they are just agenda ponies and anypony in their way gets crushed. Princess Celestia to the nobles is like the ultimate prize but highly unlikely, it's like the big one, finding the world-ending artifact, that sort of thing. The law was written in a time of better intentions and when Nobles weren't such scum. The Elements of Harmony are considered off Limits by Celestia herself considering dating one would bring a bit of fame around, but if the Element were to want to date the noble than that's just fine. Strangely enough in this headcannon, nopony really goes for Luna, the nobles still doubt her authenticity and plus there's the fact she could probably kill you if you crossed her the wrong way. Next up is the Paparazzi, they are pretty much like Earth with less technology
Deus Ex Pinkie...are you really surprised at this point?You know what would be nice? If the Paparazzi would stop chasing Dash and I and yelling questions about Celestia and I, like seriously don’t you have better things to do? “Haven’t you guys got better things to do? Like stick your muzzle into Mare Neighdashian’s useless life that nobody cares about?” I ask the guys as we run. “Nope! She’s in rehab now” One of them says. “Again?” I say as I am running keeping my breathing right as I talk. “Well the therapists are bad at their jobs” The pony says again. No wonder, they celebs here are just like Earth, especially the Neighdashians and the Trottenners. Also explains why Twilight Sparkle was so damn crazy when I met her, seriously she tried experimenting on me. Come to think of it, the whole of Equestria is crazy! “Do these guys give up?” Dash asks me. “Not without a paycheck they won’t” I say to Dash. Thank the fucking goddess I am marrying I decided to stay fit, running from villains tends to do that. But I need a distraction…will it work? “LOOK! SAPPHIRE SHORES IS NAKED!” I point over to their right. They looked right and we disappeared…BWAHAHA! THE IDIOTS! I can’t believe they fell for that! Naked ponies, when ponies are almost always naked I ask you. How dumb could they possibly be? Anywho we were out of sight when Pinkie Pie opens a random door in the grass and urges us in real quick, since those guys could find us at any moment we ran right in and Pinkie shut the entrance. “Thanks Pinks” I said as I started to catch my breath. “You’re welcome, my hooves were going click so I knew someone was getting chased by the paparazzi” Pinkie says, explaining how she knew where we were. “And that’s why we’re here?” I ask. “Yep! This is one of my secret shelters, specifically for running from media emergencies, but also I-Feel-my-friends-are-secretly-smiling-for-my-benefit and let’s not forget the Holy-Celestia-you-getting-married emergencies.” Pinkie explains Trust me, better to accept than to challenge Pinkie’s reality, not because she’s right, it’s just better for your mental stability, trust me, with most of Ponyville being crazy in their own way, you don’t need any more crazy and if you need proof, just refer to the time Pinkie thought her friends didn’t like her anymore. Don’t get me wrong, Pinkie Pie is a great mare to be around, she cheers everypony up and all but she’s weird as all hell gone loose, you should of seen the time when she appeared in my mailbox. Anyway I feel we should be getting back to the problem at hand. “So um, how’s it going?” I ask “Oooh goodie, thanks for asking Jasie!” Pinkie says “What about you, darling? How are you?” I hear Rarity’s voice behind Pinkie Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy were behind Pinkie Pie as we noticed there was a room next to the one we were in (What? It was dim in here). “Hi Rarity, yes I’m fine” I answer Rarity Suddenly I know where this is going, they are gonna ask what the deal is with Celestia and I. “So, Celestia and you are an item” Rarity says with declaration. “Guilty as charged” I am not denying it at all. “How come you didn’t tell us? I would have made you a far better suit had I known” Rarity immediately asks me. “Would you believe me if I told you?” I ask Rarity in turn. “No but-“ Rarity starts “No buts, that’s my reasoning and besides, I would have been in that shop for the next 1000 years as you beg me for details” I say “You and Princess Celestia are an item? I-I thought you and Rainbow were-“ Twilight started “Look nerd, this was 2 months ago, we broke up then and now Celestia and I are together now, seriously, you’re so slow Snails would beat you in realizing things” I rolled my eyes Look, I want to clear something up here, Twilight is not my enemy, I just have a hate for her. When I landed here, she tried to experiment me, I was naturally frightened and pissed off, so I ended up getting free and punched Twilight in the back of her head and ran, but she was 5 seconds away from dissecting me. The Elements tracked me down along with Celestia and Twilight, I was not sorry for what I did, she was not sorry about what she did, she thought I was her science project, her attitude hasn’t changed. Oh and I disagree with her Princess of Friendship bullshit, you make 5 friends and save the world a few times and suddenly you are a princess of friendship? God complex right there, she isn’t even a leader, Twilight has done things because other ponies or even a impartial map told her to do something. That said, her existence is a constant reminder that bullshit can be quite high here and that this place is full of crazy ponies. “Y’all aren’t starting fights here, ya hear?” Applejack senses a fight starting. “Maybe” I answer. “Yes’ Twilight answers Applejack is alright, she’s damn honest and she freaking sucks at lying, fits the whole honesty gig going on here, I just wish her little sister would stop trying to blow my house up whenever Apple Bloom and her friends pass by with their crusader things they do. “All right, so here’s the deal. Yes, Celestia and I are really marrying, no it wasn’t too intentional because at that one party we sort of accidently bedded each other-“ I started explaining “You WHAT!?” Twilight yelled out loud. In Canterlot… “You WHAT!?” Twilight’s yelled voice was heard from Canterlot “Tia, we think thy former student’s voice was heard from here” Luna says “Oh, this happens quite a bit, you should wait until you tell her about a test” Celestia says Back in Ponyville... “Damn it Twilight! I need those ears!” I had my ears throbbing You think this is bad, wait until somepony tells her about a test, double points if you say “It’s just a test” to her face. “So anyway, we bedded at that one party and by some weird law we have to marry and Celestia can’t change it for reasons beyond me. So we have to marry, the reason we went on that date was to reveal the whole thing, although we did an actual date to try it out because I feel like I owe it to Celestia to at least give it a shot” I finish explaining “You and my former teacher…BEDDED TOGETHER! What possessed you to do such a thing?” Twilight said outraged. “It’s called Apple Cider, Twilight, go figure.” I got a deadpan look at her “But that still does not excuse you from-“ Twilight was still angry. “Twilight, I don't give a shit what you think, okay? And for all you know, Celestia could have started it, she's had lots of time to hold in some urges, if it really bothers you, go talk to her, you two are close, remember?" I give Twilight a deadpan look. "But-" Twilight tries again. "No Twilight, no buts, if you think I'm taking advantage of her, I am not and I have Pinkie Promised the living shit out of it, anyone else got any questions?" I interrupt her again If they had any questions I suppose they held them in, Twilight left the hideout and I think it's time for me to leave also. "Well then, I am going as I need to sort some things out the Cakes." I say as I make for the door. I left the secret hideout thing Pinkie had after making sure none of the paparazzi were around. This day just won’t leave me alone with things to think about… Author's Note So there's gotta be somepony who disagrees with the whole thing and that may be Twilight. Even in HIE, Twilight is ridiculously protective of those who try tarnish her name or not show flat out respect. I had lots of fun making fun of Celebrities and for those for have not caught on yet Neighdashian= Kardashian and Trottenners are the Jenners. Going to be honest I dislike them and I feel we should focus our attention on someone else don't you think? And besides, you know you should stop attracting attention when everybody is so sick of you they make a KardBlock. But yes, I Enjoyed making a few celeb jokes and quite honestly, who could blame me? As for Twilight, she won't be in the way of the whole plot she just disagrees with the thing.
The Pancake joke is not appropriate for this chapter...you'll see why.Celestia is next to me, in her date dress again and we are outside my house again. The stars were shining behind Celestia but a sunny aura was glowing from Celestia herself. Her eyes were as beautiful as the planet itself, nay much more that the planet as a whole itself, I was getting closer to Celestia. “I had a really nice time out tonight” Celestia says with a beaming smile on her face. “As did I, Celestia” I replied back, a smile also on my face that would rival Pinkie Pie's. Our faces were close together until Celestia closed her eyes and went for the kiss, our lips were almost there annnndddd…. “Jason, you in there?” Dash asks. “Huh? What? Oh hey Dash, wassup?” I awoke from my daydream...unfortunately. “We’re almost at Canterlot” Dash says. Oh yes, we are on the train to Canterlot, turns out they want an announcement speech “They” being the public and Celestia told me about this so I have to get to Canterlot. Oh and Dash, how dare you interrupt my daydream? I thought we was friends! Nah only kidding, she’s cool. Canterlot for the life of me is probably going to be the death of me ironically. I mean there’s the nobles, the one place is a huge target for villians and most of the all the snobs of which I could knock them senseless if I could get away with it, like that Jet Set guy. The Castle is alright, it has Celestia and Luna around even though Luna scares me, it’d take somepony like Discord or Chrysalis to get to Canterlot although Chrysalis’ love drain was the only reason she won that fight with Celestia. But it was still old fashioned compared to other cities like Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Applewood and San Neighfrisco. Perhaps Celestia still has an attachment for the old ways or just the rich really enjoy antique things and old-fashion stuff. Or they are all secretly hipsters deep down. Suddenly a most laughable image of the nobles dressing like hipsters came to my head at that thought. When I got to Canterlot, the whole press was there, guess somepony told them all but Luna had come to teleport me to the castle. I swear I should be thankful they don’t charge teleportation fees cause it’s getting really handy. Hey, if they ever get out of a Princess job, they could always provide teleportation services or something. Right, back on topic! Luna is right next to me and we haven’t said a word in the minute we’ve been next to each other. I’m surprised she hasn’t started asking about the kiss, no way in hell Celestia didn’t tell Luna about it, it’s practically mare gossip. “So, we hear mine sister and thou kissed” Luna says probably sharpining knifes in her mind. Well there goes the surprise… “Uh, yeah sorta happened, no idea how that happened, heh heh, but yeah” I nervously say back. “Thou had better watch thyself in future with thou advances” Luna gives me that look. “Look she came onto me first while we looking into each other eyes, it was a trance and I won’t deny, I enjoyed that kiss” I say quickly. “Thou…what? Art thou saying thy kiss was enjoyable?” Luna asks “Yeeeesssssss…” I answer slowly FLEE YOU FOOL! FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIFES! “We art in acceptance with thy actions for now, but remember, if you go against mine sister’s wishes, force her into something or hurt mine sister somehow, thou knows what we shall do to thee” Luna gives a “You fuck up, I kill you till you’re dead” look. “I remember, so what do I do here again?” I ask to change the subject. “Thou will do naught but smile and wave at necessary points and just be present during Tia’s announcement” Luna explains. Where does that sound familiar? Oh yeah, Tirek Incident, Twilight complaining about being Princess is all smile and waving, at least you can fake confidence with it. Not feeling confident? Just smile and wave! Approved by our local crazy Princess, Twilight Sparkle. Call now and you can receive a one-on-one lesson by the Princess herself. The doors open and Celestia comes in and hugs me with a kiss on the cheek…in front of Luna… ‘Does that mean we’re technically in a relationship?’ Heart asks ‘DANGER! MASSIVE HEAT LEVELS DETECTED ON HEAD LEVEL!’ Brain was going haywire. My face is so hot, but her body is so snuggly and warm…what the fuck did I just think? ‘Oh quit denying it! You totally enjoyed that hug’ Brain says to me. ‘Jason and Celestia, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!’ Heart starts singing. ‘Oh shut up Heart!’ I told my heart to shut up. ‘Make me’ Heart challenges. ‘Fine, no dialogue for you for the rest of the chapter’ I accepted that challenge. ‘You wouldn’t!’ Heart is shocked. ‘I just did’ I said simply. ‘Wait wh-‘ Heart started but I interrupted him. ‘Byyyeeeeeee’ I finished him. So yeah, hug happened, Celestia just acted full like a happy mare for once, or a young one, like Lyra, when she’s not having a crazy fetish about my hands. You'd think she'd be more stoic, ah I don't even know, mares are mystery. “Hi Celestia, how’s it going?” I greet my fiancé “Very well Jason, yourself” Celestia says with the brightest expression. “Um, fine, nothing too positive, nothing too negative in the world, you seen Rainbow anywhere?” I answer Celestia question. “She’s outside, she’ll be waiting for you when we are done doing what we must do” Celestia answers my question. “So, just smiling and waving it is for me then?” I ask Celestia. “I’m afraid so, you rather remind me of Twilight around the Tirek incident” Celestia says with the memory of Tirek coming up again. “To be honest with you Tia, I wouldn’t want to be stuck smiling and waving, kind of be a waste of Princess power if you ask me” I confess my feelings. Yes I just called Celestia, Tia. And yes, I think smiling and waving is not the way to go, just the fake smiles and stuff, it makes your sanity die inside. Anywho, we go outside to the balcony and there is a crowd of ponies…I hate crowds, especially when you’re in them and some guy takes up all the freaking room and does not budge. “My fellow ponies, as you no doubt may know by now, Jason the human and Myself have been seen together in romantic interest, I will not deny this fact, in fact, we are soon to be married” Celestia talks to the crowd GAAAAASPP! What a twist! Oh wait, I’m the person marrying Celestia, of course it isn’t a twist! But seriously, it’s like Celestia told them she stabbed a pony. I look to Luna and she’s all smile and wavy, SMILE AND WAVE DAMN IT! Smile and wave, Smile and wave, smile and wave…smile and wave…smile…and…wave… ZZZZZZZZZZZZ… “Jason! Pay attention” Luna quickly hit me in the shoulder. “Oops, sorry” I whispered an apology. “Jason, would you like to say a few words?” Celestia says “Oh…um sure” I say I walked in front of the crowd to the right of the balcony as Celestia came next to Luna. “Um, hello citizens of Equestria, it’s with…great pleasure that I announce that I am indeed marrying the same mare who co-rules this fine kingdom and raises the burning ball in the sky that provides us the necessary stuff to survive. I do not take this lightly, as she is such an amazing mare that if I did hurt her as a mare by my actions, I’d encourage you to end my life there.” I talked to the crowd. A door opened behind me, there were two, once on the right behind me and the left where we came from, probably just Dash in the background watching, I’d think if she weren’t there she’d be hovering in the crowd. “Honestly, can you imagine such a great mare to be able to marry? Perhaps that’s how Prince Shining Armor feels about his wife, Princess Cadence, rest assured, Celestia and I will make sure we will-“ I continued on. BOOM! I suddenly felt my back get launched as I flew off the balcony and aiming for the slanted roof below…OH SHIIIIIII- SPLAT! To be continued… Author's Note Behold! The plot...stays relatively the same, but hey danger warning wasn't just there for the hell of it, Will Jason survive? OF COURSE HE WILL! What are you? Born yesterday?
Unconscious events.(The following is in 3rd person) Jason had hit the slanted roof on the head and was beginning to fall close the ground when a Purple pony has flown to catch Jason, this pony was none other than Twilight Sparkle, whom had lowered Jason to ground level without causing further injury. Celestia was in shock at what events had just transpired but she quickly geared into action as the guards came to find the room gone and the suspect nowhere to be seen. “Find the Pony responsible! And bring that vile pony before me!” Celestia had ordered the guards in a way than made the guards fearful. “Yes your majesty, at once” The guards hurried off in a fright. There was an emotion that was not felt in such a long time, it wasn’t unfamiliar but now this emotion was burning in Celestia, this was Anger. Anger that would have made a less composed Princess scream out, somepony had dared hit her future husband off and potentially kill him in front of the crowd and out of Celestia’s sight. The pony who did it in Celestia’s eyes better had hope Jason lives…or Celestia may not have the composure to let that pony live. No, Anger was not the right emotion to call it, pure fury was more like it, one could swear her magic was taking on a darker shade. “Twilight Sparkle! Take Jason to the hospital this instant, Luna, you and I are going to find the pony that did this” Celestia orders Twilight and Luna “You can count on me, Celestia” Twilight says Luna said nothing but followed immediately, they didn’t failed to notice that Celestia was how Jason would describe it “Super freaking PISSED!”, but they were wise not to bring it up. (Back to First Person) ‘Jassooooon’ ‘Jasooooon…’ ‘Oh for the love of god, WAKE UP YOU FAT SLOB!’ AHHHH! Jesus! What just happened? Lots of pain in my head and everywhere…that’s right…I fell…oh no, I’m in some grassy field…is this Equestrian heaven, I’M TOO GOOD LOOKING TO DIE! YOUNG TOO! Speaking of which, who’s talking? “Hello? Somebody or somepony around?” I ask around. “If you turn around mate, you’ll find me” A voice says from behind I turn around to see a Pony of an orange colour of a Fanta like shade of orange anyway, just an earth pony too and he’s got a pair of wings and a horn for a cutie mark…that’s certainly strange… “Obvious question to ask, who are you?” I ask the pony. “Well, I guess you can call me your critical subconscious, the only reason I am here talking to you is because of your injuries and Equestrian magic too, and that magic is why I appear to you as a pony but in every other way I am you” the pony says “Well that’s interesting, but where are we? Besides the obvious green field with nothing in it” I ask my pony self. “Well you’re…how do I explain this? Um…in the deepest part of your mind, what you are right now is your primary soul, the fields are meant to represent a calming peace in case of the body about to literally die” the pony explains. “So, I am not dead but I could be dead?” I ask. “That’s correct, you hit your head on that roof from quite a height and then you broke your leg as you landed a second time on the roof and I suppose somepony with wings must have saved us because I doubt we’d be as lucky to survive that fall from say, at least 5-10 stories high?” My subconscious reports what happened to us. “Ouch…I am definitely gonna feel that one when I wake up” I comment. “You will, but that’s all I know from here, not omnipotent or anything as I am just you as a subconscious” Pony-me says. “Damn it! I was hoping for helpful pieces of information that would be unrealistically given” I said in a disappointed tone. “You and me both mate” Pony me was also disappointed. Yeah, we’re gonna be here a while and no video games, ice cream, cake, nothing over here, this is gonna be a looooooong limbo or whatever we are in right now. Approximately 1 and half weeks later… {Back in 3rd person) “Your Highness, there is still no signs of the suspect at this time and-“ A guard had been forced to give a status update when Celestia came in for an update. “And what? It’s been a week and a half and not one sign?” Celestia’s temper was rising. “But it was so sudden and-“ The guard started but it was a wrong move. “I have had it up to here with excuses! SOMEPONY has dared to attack MY future-husband in front of me! If I were you, I would stop making excuses to your princess and start getting me results before I lose my patience and believe me, my patience needs a microscope to be found, am I getting clear to you?” Celestia had raised her voice at the guard. The guard was nodding his head off with a bow. “Yes, your highness” The guard says in a low-voice. “Tia! Take a trot right now” Luna says from the doorway Celestia was angry, but not angry enough to take it out on her own sister and instead took her own sister’s advice. “We art sorry for our sister’s actions, as you know, she is under a lot of stress from what has happened. But it would be advisable to pick up the pace” Luna apologizes for her sister’s outburst. “It’s alright, your highness, I know friends who have had loved ones almost lost, I should have known better” the guard shakes his head It is sad to say that this was not the first time Celestia had such an outburst in recent days, but why wouldn’t she? Somepony had dared to push Celestia’s future husband off, almost killed him and now the suspect is nowhere to be found? This angered Celestia to the point at times that her mane and tail were literally burning. Fortunately, Ponies took notice and left her alone. Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Luna had hoped for Jason’s waking up to have happened by now but it was not the case just yet, but they hoped it was soon. Angry Celestia was starting to scare ponies and she wasn’t herself when she was most angry. Twilight had been saddened that she had to catch Jason that day, not because nopony else did, it’s that somepony would do such a thing and saying it again, in front of royalty, she kind of realized her actions were rather in the wrong. Dash was at the hospital day and night making sure the would-be-killer doesn’t come to finish Jason off. As for Luna, she was never too happy about the forced marriage deal, but as Luna has been reminded, there are much worse ponies out there, so Jason should be given a shot when he wakes up.. Long story short, the three of them wanted justice be brought down hard to the pony who did this, although Celestia in her anger may have…more extreme ideas. (Back to First Person) “Okay seriously, is there any other background than green grass and blue skies? THIS IS DRIVING ME TO INSANITY!” I asked in annoyed expression. “I’m afraid not, mate. Turns out your brain just can’t download some other backgrounds or something, but if it helps, you should be waking up soon” The pony-me says. In my mind this place was driving me insane, you’d think this be peaceful, but after what feels like an eternity this place is driving me insane…I have an apology to give to Discord when I wake up. “So Jason, while we are here, there is one thing I’ve been meaning to ask you and that’s Celestia, you’ve been with her a bit and you still haven’t said you loved her” Pony-me says. “Eh? I don’t reeeallly love her in that way” I lied. “Liar, I am you remember? You can’t lie to me and besides, I know your dreams with her in them, even the daydream of you two kissing, I’d say there’s plenty of feelings there” Pony-me says. “Oh fine, I love her! It started off as some wish for her to have at least a decent emulation of a proper relationship, she deserved that much from me, after that date and that accident kiss I just…imagined myself spending time with her and then all the romance stuff comes afterwards” I reply more honestly. “See? Was that so hard? Now, confess those feelings to her” Pony-me says. “What!?” I yell. “Well if you love her, she should have the right to know and besides I’d say she’d love you too and before you argue, before we were pushed off, she was so happy to see us and she wanted to spend time with you. She definitely loves you pal” Pony-me explains his reasoning. “Fine…I’ll do it when I wake up." I say to my subconscious RUUUUMMMMBBLLLEE! “Oh that’s the waking up sound, well pleasure to meet you Jason and go get her for all our somehow-talking body parts” Pony me says his goodbyes quickly. “Good-bye me of the critical conscious, it’s a pity I might not meet you again” I say, shaking his hoof before I left. The place was swirly and sounds were coming in my ears like speech…loud sounds… 2 weeks after the incident… (Back in Third Person view) A Cloaked figure had entered the castle and was heading towards the hospital part of the castle, it was a unicorn of dark green colour and he was wearing a batter old cloak to conceal most of his identity for what he was doing in this castle was not something of positive will. He was finally in front of the door of the target he had meant to finish a fortnight ago, with his target out of the way, his master can move on to his plan to earn Celestia’s favor. His hoof was on the handle and he prepared to finish his target off, it was time to finish this… Author's Note Oh what's that? You wanted more cliffhangers? Well why didn't you say so? But yeah that Third person and first person thing will only be here for this chapter only and the slight beginning of the next chapter rest assured.
The most escalating waking up you'll ever see...maybe.(3rd Person) The culprit to pushing off Jason Anderson was just outside his door, one would think he wouldn’t go anywhere near it but Celestia was looking all around Canterlot and nearby towns and cities, she’d never think to look inside her own castle. He creaked the door open expecting it to be empty besides Jason at this hour but as he closed the door behind him, he found Rainbow Dash staring at him. “You! You’re the one who did this aren’t you?” Dash said when the intruder drew his knife, there was no fooling her. “Very observant…for something so obvious, I mean would a pony Jason doesn’t know with a hood and a knife come for hugs?” The culprit rolled his eyes. He had not expected the Element of Loyalty to be here, however, the blood of loyalty could prove a bonus as she is friends with another annoyance in the noble’s side. Dash charged, this pony will pay for what he has done. (Back to first person…forever!) Urgh…my lord, I feel like shit, my head feels like it, that noise next to me is not helping…at least my eyes can open but my back feels glued to the bed. I open my eyes to see Rainbow Dash with a pony with a knife…………OH SHIT! I got to help her! I go to get up but OWWWWW LEG! NOW IS NOT THE TIME! Let's see, Um...red button to my left, if it’s like Earth hospitals on TV than it must call for help…come on arm…make it. SLAM! Okay help is on the way but I got to help Dashie…come on leg! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS! There we go, ignore the pain, you can feel it later, alright Dashie’s attacker has his back turn now to… “AHHHHHHHH!” Dash screamed in lots of pain. No…there’s a knife in her side and oh no…please no, she’s not moving…NO DYING NOT NOW! I only just avoided death, you are not going in my place! Besides, Fluttershy and Soarin will kill me. And he’s turning around, shit! “Coward! You attack me from behind and now you try to kill me in my sleep? Have you no shame?” I had anger in my voice. “Why have shame when you can get rewards for no shame at all? And besides, I don’t get my full pay if you don’t die” He says to me. There was no fucking redeeming that guy, and somepony had him come after me huh? He charges at me with the knife and pushed me back but I hold the pony's hooves with my arms, thank my beautiful sun-goddess they aren’t broken…but I can’t hold on…especially this fucking leg is on fire! But this guy was focused, my arms are tired and I can’t hold on much longer…no…he hurt Dashie, you got to hold on Jason. For Dashie, for my friends, and for Celestia. BAM! I saw a pure white light literally blast my attacker through two rooms and then I see Celestia go light speed in those two rooms and she was PISSED! And I thought Luna was scary. I see Dash next to me with a gaping wound in her side…the hospital staff were still coming, what was taking them so long? I put my hands on Dash’s wounds, I don’t know much but pressure helps…I think. Come on Dashie, hang in there, you’re my sis, us metaphorical siblings look out for each other. Dear Creator, I know I haven’t been the best person but please, do not take it out on Dashie. I promise I will improve if you let her live, just please let her live! “What’s going on here?” The doctor in the doorway rushes to me. “Attacker came over there, stabbed Rainbow over here, she needs more help than me, he didn’t stab me” I quickly explain. “Let me take over, I have this for now” the doctor says as he goes to assess Rainbow's stab wound. Nurses had come and the doctor got them to work on Dash as I got on my good leg and hopped to Celestia, surprisingly nopony stopped me, but in front of me was a Celestia so angry her mane and tail was literal flames, she was pissed beyond belief. “How DARE you try to stab Jason in his sleep! How DARE you try to murder in my own castle! I will end your existence right now, for your crimes against my future-husband, may the creator be spared such a sniveling coward put in her presence.” Celestia had boomed Celestia has charged her horn, she really was meaning to kill, he deserves it…no…not yet...he had to have had an employer for pay from what I heard from him, if he dies now, we’ll never find the guy. “Please no! Have Mercy!” The attacker panicked. “Your mercy was thrown out the window the second you attacked my fiancé!” Celestia shouted at him. The man truly was a coward, he gives no mercy and now he begs for it when the tables flip…I honestly think he deserves it once we have found his employer. But Celestia was about to kill him on the spot and I was almost there. “CELESTIA NO! DON’T KILL HIM!” I shouted as I got to her I touched her and she saw me for a moment but quickly looked back at the attacker again. “Why not Jason? He has done nothing but pain and torment because of his actions and he would do it again for blood money! His scum has poisoned my kingdom for too long!” Celestia had angrily looked at the coward at her hooves. Gee Celly, when did you get this way? “I want him as dead as you but there will be no true justice until his employer is found, he’s merely the hired muscle, if you kill him now, the true culprit will just get another pony to try again” I said with reason. Celestia was resisting every urge to fire off that killing shot. “This isn’t you right now, Celestia. The Celestia I know and love would show compassion, perhaps with my almost-death, you are tired of showing compassion to your enemies but if you kill, make sure it comes with purpose and nothing bad happens from it, killing him now serves no purpose at all.” I say. Celestia after a few seconds turned off her spell and her mane and tail went back to normal. “Tia, Jason, art the pair of thee alright?” Luna says from behind. “For now, can you handle this? Celestia and I need to talk…alone” I request of Luna. “We shall grant that wish” Luna agrees to dealing with the attacker. “Thanks and as for you, You are nothing more than a damned coward who if it weren't for one tiny thing should be dead right now, if you ever get out of a prison, than I suggest you stay the hell away from Canterlot, no revenge quests, no nothing. I have saved you from being burned to ashes even though I would kill you myself and it would be less than the suffering you deserve, got that?” I say to my would-be-assassin. He didn’t answer, I didn’t care. I told him what he was, I told him I could have killed him right there or let Celestia do it. “Let’s go Celestia” I say to her. I turned to see a nurse waiting for us, Dash was taken away somewhere. “Your Highness, Jason. Our doctors are fixing Miss Dash as we speak, thankfully the stab wound missed all the organs so she should wake up tomorrow morning, but she’ll need to stay for a few days.” The nurse reported. Dash won’t like that, she HATES hospitals, can’t blame her, seriously why are ALL the walls grey? Are they trying to depress the fuck outta everyone? But thank the fuck she’s alive or I might have changed my mind about letting that coward live. Also, thank that fucking red button too! “Thanks, is there a room Celestia and I can talk in private?” I ask the nurse. “Are you sure, you should rest your leg and rest in general” The nurse asks. “This cannot wait Nurse, I will rest after that I give you my word, also when Dash wakes up, can you let me know?” I ask of her. “Alright then, but rest straight afterwards!” The nurse says We started to follow the nurse to a room more private, there are many thoughts in my head, my infernal leg is still on fire, my head is full of thoughts and still hurts a bit, my heart has raced from the fear of both mine and Dash’s life. But I still have to talk to Celestia, what I need to say, it has been long overdue. Author's Note So yeah no more 3rd person stuff as our main character is awake...after 2 weeks. Pony technology inconsistency ahoy! So yeah, there will be more soon. And no cliffhangers...althoughonewillhappenwhenyouleastexpectitbecauseiamevil.
The Love is in the air even when the world around us is destroyed in slow motion.My leg was still hurting but not as much as when I was trying to get up, it took a bit but I got to the room and I told the nurse should we be needed we’ll be here. As soon as the door closed I was in a seat and then Celestia hugged me like she never wanted to let go, I saw tears coming out of her eyes as she did. “Celestia, I’m sorry I must have caused you so much pain while I was unconscious” I said to her while in the hug. “No, it was not your fault, it was his, for the last two weeks, it’s been nothing but worry and anger, I almost lost you” Celestia said with tears still down her eyes. “And I almost lost you too, while I was unconscious, I was sort in critical conscious and I’ve been thinking too…” I trailed off. “Tell me, Jason.” Celestia kindly got me to carry on. “I can’t go any longer without telling you this, I almost died and it really makes you consider life choices. But I must confess this, every time I see you, I feel joy, every time we touch, I feel warmth and fuzziness, I look into your eyes and I see such beauty that I think is a crime not to appreciate, I feel like I want to spend time with you all day even if it’s just sitting and watching something in the background so I must say this…” I trailed off again. Celestia was looking at me like she knew what I was going to say, well here goes… “I thought at first it was the least I could do to make you have the experience you deserved after we ended up bedding each other, but after that date, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you in fact, I want to spend the rest of my mortal life with you…I…I…lo…I…oh come just say it! I love you, Celestia! I want to marry you not because of some circumstance but because I love you!” I confessed my love for Princess. Celestia didn’t answer but she smiled at a smile the would make Pinkie Pie jealous, it was a beautiful smile as she went straight into a kiss before I knew it. I’ll take that as a I love you too. The kiss was so passionate, for a mare that has only kissed a stallion once she sure is good at kissing. I could feel the love in it and we must have been going for two minutes before Luna came in, but before that I swore I swore my skin glowing a light blue colour and Celestia’s a light pink. Did I mention the best part of Celestia was the smile? That smile would be worth a war to get Celestia put one on her face. “Tia…art thou and Jason truly in love?” Luna asks from the doorway, we forgot to close it. “I believe so little sister, although we may have to ask Cadence on that subject” Celestia joked on that one. “Whatever will we do, Celestia? If we can’t find a Princess of Love anywhere however will we be able to tell if we love each other or not” I joined in on the joking “Verily funny, we art here to tell you the culprit is under high security, he has not said a word” Luna says in a serious tone. “I will talk to him tomorrow, for now, I believe someone needs his rest for now” Celestia says, looking at me. Ow! Leg! Your input was not needed there! Anywho, a nurse showed us to a more not-desolated room by a very pissed off goddess, say what you will but she was freaking scary and awesome at the same time, that’s who I am marrying, mares and gentlecolts. That said, a good rest is fundamental to recovery, I ain’t gonna be no fool and besides, I have confessed my love to Celestia and she loves me back and she’s next to me, I feel like as long as Celestia is around, I know nothing could happen to me while sleeping. So yeah…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… The next morning… Yaawwwwnnn…did I actually sleep so well? Then again, I see Celestia next to me reading a book (well it’s not like you can just play a DS or a 3DS to pass the time). “Morning Celly” I said as I got up. “Good morning to you Jason, did you sleep well?” Celestia asks with a smile. “To be honest, surprisingly yes after all that has happened” I answer. “Yes, I’m afraid I haven’t been quite myself, I have been quite angry and I will not deny it, I thought you were lost and if you did come lost, I may have ended up burning the whole of Equestria to find the one responsible” Celestia admits. “Well I can’t say I’d be on the moral high ground as I might have did that myself, what about Dash? Is she okay now?” I ask Celestia. “She’s alright at the moment, I believe should wake up at any moment” Celestia says. “I just feel so bad she put it on the line for me, Dash is brave, very brave and a loyal friend, something I wish I could have, I find it scary that somepony wanted me dead and I have no idea who it is, it’s one of the nobility for sure but which one?” I say to her Celestia stares at me for a moment and comes into thought. “We may not know who it is yet, but we will find out, and rest assured when we do find him, that pony will pay for what he has done” Celestia says to me in a serious tone. “As much as I want justice, I want you to keep your cool when you find him, if we do find who it is and move on, you’re having me or Luna around, you almost killed the guy out of blind rage, I want to know why he wants me dead and his motives” I say to her I have seen Celestia’s fiery form and I don’t think she will see reason a second time, as there was no pony it seems to lead on this time. What about me? I considered death as fair payment for my would-be-assassin, I flat out felt like I should’ve killed him right then and there. Is this who I am coming? A person that loves his friends and soon-to-be wife but comes cold to others? When someone wrongs him he deals ruthless blows, considers killing without emotion? That shouldn’t be me, but yet here I am, feeling like I should kill this noble when I find him. Ah, but isn’t it human nature to want revenge? An eye for an eye so to say, well if I killed him I’d take 2 of his eyes as he took 1 of mine so that goes out the window. But that aside, is it wrong for me to want to revenge upon the noble who wants me dead? Maybe, but would Celestia go with that? No she really wouldn’t, I don’t think she’d want to marry a killer, she’d want to marry the Jason she knows and loves. GAH! THIS IS ALL SO CONFUSING SOMETIMES! Just focus on the present, right now, you should get better and see Dashie, yes? Well, go do it! It was about 2 hours after I woke up, I had been told that Dash was awake and I instantly went to see her along with Celestia. I don’t think Celestia will ever let me out of her sight for a long time and who could blame her? And besides, with Celestia I feel safe even in the most dire of situations. I had been given a human wheelchair to go around in as that little episode last night had not helped my leg, my head still hurt a bit but it wasn’t needing to be bandaged to death, stupid leg almost got me killed with its pain act it was doing. I could manually move myself with the wheelchair but since Celestia insisted on moving me herself, I wasn’t looking a gift pony in the mouth so I just went with it. Anywho, when we came in, we saw Soarin (Dash’s boyfriend and Wonderbolt) in with Rainbow, haven’t seen him in a while. Soarin, he’s a bit of an idiot, like me, but I think if you haven’t been an idiot once, you’ve had a boring life, oh and tip, Apple Pie appeases Soarin’s taste buds if you ever need something to have as a peace offering. Back to the subject, Dash was wide awake and had been talking to Soarin whom had been worried sick (So was I, thanks for asking). “Sup Dash” I said to her “Jason, you’re awake!” Dash says as I came close enough for a hug. Sure the hug was a bit stretched but hugs are hugs. I know it's mushy but still we almost died so I AM ALLOWED A HUG DAMN YOU! “I honestly thought I lost you for a moment there Dash, I wouldn’t have lived with myself if I did lose you and Soarin here would’ve killed me” I said straight-up. “Well I wasn’t letting some low-life taking you in your sleep, not a chance in Tartarus” Dash says with a cocky grin. “Yeah, I saw the end part and all the sudden he stabbed you and then he went for me and thankfully I held him off and then Celestia here chucks him through 2 walls” I say to Dash. “That’s lucky, dude.” Dash says with a hoof bump. “Eh, not luck, just what happened, and I happened to have the most loyal friend ever, you are a true friend, you know that right?” I was thankful Dash was around. “I know, I AM pretty awesome, my Element of Loyalty gig ain’t going anytime soon, not now and definitely not for a long time, besides, I never leave my friends hanging” Dash says “Spoken like a true friend and a true Wonderbolt” Soarin adds in, whom was silent the whole time I was here. “Indeed, it was very brave of you, Rainbow Dash. I only wish I could have got here sooner to prevent the injuries, but what is done is done” Celestia praises Dash’s efforts. Actually, that raises a question I had in the back of my mind, may as well ask it. “How did you know we were in danger, Celestia? I mean the red button next to my bed I assumed was for medical emergencies so some doctors would have come but you came first” I ask my marefriend. “Oh? After the attempt on your life, I took no chances, I had a detection spell on the room in secret, if an unknown pony, weapon or anything to signify a life threat was detected, I would be notified. I also linked the button to my magic as well, so I got two notifications in which I hurried at once. Like I said, I take no chances when it comes to those I care about” Celestia explains So she had a ready alarm system with her magic, that’s…kind of neat and would be damn helpful in normal lives.. “So how come this doesn’t go into normal lives?” I ask Celestia. “While the spell is passive, it requires a constant flow of magic that a normal unicorn just cannot hold. If a unicorn knew of a danger, it could hold for a few hours but it is not the most effective defense to use when alone.” Celestia explains the drawback of the spell. Curse you, annoying drawbacks to all the cool stuff/ “Well that’s...highly inconvenient” I comment on that. “Yeah, what he said. What happened to the guy who did this anyway?” Dash asks from her bed. “He is under lock and key, but his escape chances a very minimal and I have placed all precautions to prevent his escape, he has not talked about his employer yet but we will find him” Celestia says as she had a frown as she thought about that pony. My leg was still in a bit of pain, probably should rest it some more, but there’s a thought that has just occurred to me, that whole fiery thing Celestia had, and the whole blue and pink aura Celestia and I had when we kissed, is that normal? Maybe I should ask Cadence that one, then again, maybe I should find out more about the mare I marry, if we’re gonna be together for the rest of my mortal life, I should at least know her. I don't know if Luna would tell me but Cadence was close and she is the Princess of Love, that aura thing happened when we kissed so I should go ask her. For now, Dash and I need our rest, besides, I can’t go anywhere with this infernal leg paining, how is that the head heals so quick, but the stupid leg takes forever to heal? This healing magic sucks. Author's Note What's this? No Cliffhangers? IMPOSSIBRU! Wait...it's totally POSSIBRU, what am I talking about?
A talk with Cadence...Shining Armor is just there. (Like in the show but still better than the orange pegasus that must not be named)‘Attention! We are currently [Five Minutes] away from the Crystal Empire, please ensure you have all belongings with you before you leave the train. We thank you for riding with us and hope to see you again soon’ So it’s been two weeks later after that whole attempted stabbing at night deal. I was on the way by myself to see Princess Cadence to ask for her advice on things. Hey, I’m in love with the Princess of the Sun and I do NOT want to screw things up, so I need advice from who better than the Princess of Love? Oh, my leg is fully healed too now, thanks for asking! Good to be able to walk without THE DAMN LEG ACTING LIKE IT’S ON FIRE! I’m sorry, it’s just pain just really annoys me okay? Usually in the angry annoying way. But yes, I was glad to be out of the hospital room, grey is depressing as fuck! Dash can back me up on that one, she’s not here with me and neither is Celestia, although don’t think I didn’t spot the undercover guards sent by Celestia. What? You thought I’d be annoyed, not really, I understand how paranoid you can get after what happened, I just pretended I didn’t see them, hey they get paid for doing their job right...slightly, who am I to stand in the way of honest day's pay? It was also about time for a scenery change from disaster-prone Ponyville (that I love but still can be a pain sometimes) and the ever-busy Canterlot, I hear the Empire does have a good Crystal bath anyways. So the train arrived, thankfully no Crystal paparazzi came or something. It was so…room temperature around here compared to all the snow outside the empire. Well that’s because magic and shit, something about bubble making all this temperature inhabitable. You’d think this place be all artificial but it isn’t really. That said, there was a mix of normal ponies who came here after the Sombra incident and the Crystal ponies who are native here (Tip: Don’t ask them about their Crystal bodies, it’s rude. Also, Spike knows they aren’t edible) Overall, it’s a nice place, especially with a heart just burning with positive energy around the place. I got to the castle and like the rest of the empire, this place has a crystal fetish (Somepony out there has one, trust me, I know). But yes, it was quite nice and fitting unlike Twilight’s castle that seems to be rather out of place, and there’s Cadence and Shining Armor (Shining Armor I’ve never met before so yeah…) “Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor” I bowed politely I know royals generally tend to not like bowing, but my mother raised me to be a good human being damn you! And what a good mother she was, don’t think she’d agree with me marrying Celestia but oh well. “Jason, you don’t need to bow to us” Cadence says to me much like Celestia would. “I know, but I still am polite in my greetings in public” I reply back. “So you are the human marrying Princess Celestia? Congratulations on that first up, and second, a pleasure to meet you, I am Shining Armor” Shining introduces himself into the conversation. “Pleasure to meet you, you know me of course, Jason Anderson is my name” I reply back with a hand/hoofshake. I admit that Cadence is looking good, she doesn’t look stressed or anything…at least not yet because they are apparently having a foal, maybe one day I might have a child to call my own and I will make sure when that day comes, my child gets only the best from me that he can get possible, mark my words. “Shall we go to the dining room and converse there?” Cadence suggested. “Sure, let’s do that, lead the way” I agree to Cadence’s suggestion. I was following Cadence and Shining was along with me, he was a fair looking stallion, from what I heard, he’s no slouch when it comes to being a guard and military tactics, of course being the Captain of the Guard requires many skills, I think according to Twilight, his best magic is within defense, especially shields also the BBBFF thing is bleagh! The dining room was nothing special, it does its purpose just fine, we sat down as Cadence got us something to eat, I don’t know why, but trains tend to make you hungry despite having a bar carriage. “So, how are you doing since the incident?” Cadence asked casually. “Alright, leg was a pain, Celestia’s paranoid about the mastermind behind the whole thing but despite that, Celestia and I are madly in love, Dash’s stab wound has stopped paining and things have hit a low on the chaos meter, which is a good thing of course” I say. “Interesting, I am sorry not to be around during you unconsciousness, your fall impacted many security things for both Aunt Celestia and myself, but I will say that I did warn you about the nobles” Cadence says fairly/ “That’s alright, I should’ve taken a glance back in case it wasn’t Dash whom I thought it was. Although being close to death is not my idea of a fun hobby that I will be trying again any time soon” I reply back. “You told him about our troubles with the nobles, Cady?” Shining asks her. “In small detail, although they never went for the death thing straight up with us, but as Princess Celestia is their ultimate prize and it has been taken, I guess they were truly angered. It was a truly sad day, when nobles have finally gone so low as to flat out kill the future husband of their Princess” Cadence says sadly. It was true what Cadence says, it was truly sad but it also angered me, can they not respect what their Princess does? They are so self-centered and feel above everypony else, even the Princesses that it disgusts me so much that were I a more violent man, I might have initiated a purge on them. Even Discord pre-reform was not so self-centered, it’s hard to imagine the nobles 1000 years back as described by history as actually being noble. “Do you have any idea who it might be?” I ask out of curiousity. “No, there is no noble I know that holds a special grudge for you, there is Blueblood but he is so lazy he’d never do anything he’d threaten to carry out, besides, as much of a whiner and self-centered swine, that is my cousin, he doesn’t condone murder as a viable method” Cadence says “Any really violent types?” I ask Shining. “I advise you not to rule out Blueblood because of how I know him, that’s unwise. As for a noble, most of them I don’t think would beneath such things if it allowed them forward, the whole point of the noble art is to be rather subtle most of the time with your attacks upon others and that makes it the problem, there’s no sore thumb” Shining answers. “The one who tried us is still in Prison, he isn’t going out for a long time” Cadence added. “Well that’s not really enlightening” I comment as I was kind of hoping for a lead. Yeah, nothing was found out, Blueblood may be one but it’s just him being his bigot whiny self whenever I have encountered him, wonder if he has complained to Celestia yet? But to the next question I suppose. “So, for my main questions, when I was with Celestia that night I was attacked, when she was really angry, she gained flames on her mane and tail and when I showed her how in love with her I was, I saw a blue aura on me while we kissed and a pink on hers, does it mean anything?” I ask my next burning question. “For the first one, did she…do anything harsh or say anything like it that did not seem her?” Cadence asks out of concern . “Well she said flatout that the attacker’s scum has plagued Equestria for far too long and it took a hell of a reasoning to get her not to kill him” I answer. “Hmmm, this could lead somewhere…” Cadence muttered. “Cadence, dear? I think the pair of us are kind of confused here” Shining points out. Yeah, what is Cadence thinking about that could be so worrisome? “Talk to Luna when you get back but the natural anger is alright but she was planning to kill the hired muscle without hesitation. Jason, I think the worst case scenario is that there must be a Nightmare influence somewhere and somehow” Cadence says. “But wasn’t Nightmare Moon destroyed by the elements?” I asked Cadence. “Yes but Nightmare Moon was the most powerful Nightmare because she possessed Aunt Luna, but Celestia would’ve purged them after Luna departed” Cadence mutters the last bit. Wait what? There’s more than one Nightmare? How does one deal with all of those? “So how is there more than one?” I ask. “Simple, they are a rare but powerful dark race, they aren’t too sentient alone but inside a body they can know anything about the race they can as well as the pony and exploit all weaknesses, that’s what happened to Aunt Luna. Once inside and in control it amplifies everything that can empower it and convert it into dark energy, put that on an Alicorn and you can see why the Elements were needed” Cadence explains Cadence seems to know a lot more than she lets on, she couldn’t have been around as long as Celestia and Luna have been. “So, how do you know all of this?” I ask. “Simple, I did the same thing as you Jason, I asked, a few experiences here and there helps sharpen the knowledge. But bear in mind, there shouldn’t be any Nightmares left, Celestia purged them all in a legendary anger so furious that the planet could feel her anger, this is the absolute worst case scenario and I do not believe it will happen, but it’s best to know just in case” Cadence answers. “And the best case?” I ask. “Hopefully she’s just still angry about what happened and she’ll calm down once justice is finally served. I see you as a bright human, if something bad does happen with Celestia, I hope you do what’s right in that situation” Cadence advises. It’s then I notice Cadence is much wiser than ponies make her out to be, she’s just not the “extra” Princess before the Empire or just the Crystal Empire’s Princess, she has wisdom, experience and behind a pretty face, she knows more things about the behaviours of ponies than normal. It kind of makes me respect her. “What about the latter part of my question? The Blue and Pink aura thing we had when Celestia and I kissed” I ask them. Cadence and Shining Armor smiled at the same time. “A most wonderful thing Jason, it’s a signal when the pair of you are truly in love.” Shining says with a smile. “What?” I said in confusion. “It’s an Alicorn thing, when the Alicorn and his/her partner are in true love, a powerful blue and pink aura go around the couple. This power is how Shining and I repelled Queen Chrysalis from our wedding” Cadence explains. “So that Aura was by Celestia, which was by Celestia and I’s love?” I ask Cadence. “Shining also felt the magic, as it’s magic forms by two ponies, I’d be willing to bet that despite your race’s inability to do any magic of any kind, it may be possible for you to have some here, either that or Celestia’s magic seems to be have compensated for your lack of magic” Cadences says. “Well that seems interesting, it would be cool if I could do magic” I say. Suddenly Imagine magic coming out of my hands like a laser and going all like PACHEW! “Is there anything else that needs to be discussed?” Cadence asked me finally after a bit of imagination. “No, no there isn’t, thank you, Princess Cadence” I decide to end the conversation. “Just Cadence is fine, when you marry Aunt Celestia, you’re in my family, Celestia and Luna’s family too. I wish you good luck until the next time we meet” Cadence said goodbye as we stood up and towards the door. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay here?” Shining asks. “Nah, I think the Cakes have missed my presence for long enough and knowing Pinkie, she has a party all set up, haven’t been back in Ponyville for a good month.” I say to Shining. “Well, if you ever need a bro talk Jason, feel free to come talk to me, you may need it” Shining says as I go to leave. “I will if I need it, thanks for the talk and goodbye for now” I say as I leave. It was a productive talk for me, but I was going to stay for a day here but I decided it’s best if I go back to Ponyville. Besides, the place may be crazy but it’s home, has been for about 3 years. Now I feel so nostalgic I’m going to start looking through the Equestria photo albums when I get back, well time to go home… Author's Note Personally I like Cadence when she's more wiser, I just don't agree with the show's way of potraying her.
Sometimes, life ain't fair on a brother.It’s been 3 weeks and some incident in Ponyville has not happened…well until a few hours back, but I am officially amazed right now that it didn’t happen sooner, but it’s also refreshing, today is December 8th, getting close to Hearth’s warming, I should really get to that shopping but anywho... I had been sending letters to Celestia daily thanks to a nifty portable dragonfire seal so I don’t need Spike (the poor guy gets way too much chores and no play, I fear he will soon lose the concept of fun) and that’s kind of what a few hours back was about. You see, It was a long day at the bakery (Convinced the Cakes to keep my job after what happened) and it was night time as our dear smile machine, Pinkie Pie was unfortunately sick (shocking right?) when I heard a bit of crying coming from somewhere, it was Spike at a park bench and sounds like he had a rough time, so me being the bro I am I get my ass over there and see what’s what. A few seconds later… So I am sitting next to Spike in a park bench at 6:50 at night with him clearly crying his eyes out. “Hey Spike” I said to him. “H-Hi Jason, have you come to gloat at me?” Spike asks in reply to my hello. “No, precisely why would I do that?” I ask him. “Rarity…r-r-rejected me” Spike said through sobs “Oh? Oh…” I realized what he had said. So Spike finally tried to ask Rarity out and it didn’t end well…poor Spike, he’s had his first rejection and the first ones are always hard (I should know, I’ve been rejected 4 times in the course of my 20 year life). “That’s tough, Spike. Wanna talk about it?” I say to Spike who gave a nod. “I thought she liked me, we spent time together, she calls me Spikey-Wikey, and appreciates all the help I give her yet I am not good enough for her” Spike explains. Oh trust me, I know that feeling there brother. “Yeah, some girls just ain’t pleased” I say. “How do you do it, Jason? You ended up with Celestia, PRINCESS. CELESTIA! What’s your secret, dude!?” Spike looks at me like I have all the answers. “You want the truth, Spike? It was all accident, and the be honest with you, half my existence in this dimension is an accident. Celestia and I went to Pinkie’s party and Celestia forgot to turn off her drunk filter and the both of us got drunk and ended up in bed, next thing you know a law comes and we both had to marry, but I guess we both loved each other any way” I say to Spike truthfully. “Is that really what happened?” Spike asks. “Yes and Spike, there isn’t a secret to love, no science or anything. Love is like a cutie mark, it’ll happen whenever it damn pleases, not on your will for it to happen.” I share my wisdom of love. “But-“ Spike started. “No buts Spike, it’s time to accept that Rarity isn’t the one for you, this has been proven many times, in my view when it comes to love, she’s as about as smart as Diamond Dog with brain damage. Think, why else would she go out with so many stallions searching for a “gentlecolt” when there’s been one dragon who’s been that all this time for years and still hasn’t Rarity noticed this. It’s time you let her go Spike and if she does ending up crawling back to you, well that’s too bad for her, she had forever to go out with you” I give my two bits on what Spike should do. “But who will I love then?” Spike asks “Who knows? But it is not Rarity and it has pained Rainbow and I as much as all the other elements have besides Rarity to watch this but I was Pinkie Promised not to tell Rarity or you, this cannot go on any longer. Who knows who it will be Spike but until you give up on Rarity, you’re going to be crying and going to be in pain for a long time” I say to him It was getting dark and no doubt Twilight is wondering where Spike is, time to get my pained brother home. (Hey, when there is few stallions as it is, every stallion is a brother) “Come on Spike, let’s go back home, Twilight’s gonna be worried sick and ground you or something” I say to him after a while. “Well that doesn’t really-“ Spike starts. “I’ll vouch for you, if she has problems with it than she can suck it” I interrupted. We walked all the way to the front part of Twilight’s castle when Spike stopped me. “What is it Spike?” I ask the dragon. “Look, I know you hate Twilight but there’s something I must tell you Jason, I was told not to tell but since you helped me…realize things, I feel I need to tell you” Spike says. “Then what is it?” I ask him. “Twilight…was the one who saved you from falling to your doom after you landed on your head, she felt really guilty and cried for a bit after you were in hospital” Spike confesses. “What?” I ask “Twilight thought you’d never wake up and it ate her for days, she thought she’d never see you forgive her and…” Spike says before trailing off. “Enough Spike, perhaps it’s time to fulfill her wish” I say. The pair of us walked to the through the castle doors, I have never really been in here, it kind of looks too crystally for my tastes (Look at me, judging harmony’s work) anywho, we knocked at Twilight’s door and she came out looking at Spike directly. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” She looks at Spike with daggers. “But--!” Spike went to protest “In bed, now!” Twilight says. Spike goes past her into bed but I need to do this. “Twilight” I announce my clearly unnoticed presence “…Hello Jason, what do you need?” Twilight tries to be calm about this. “Two things, is there a place the two of us can have a friendly chat?” I ask. “Oh um…three rooms down the right is a perfect spot” Twilight said as she was taken aback So I followed Twilight into that room, if all went right then I’d say the pair of us will leave happier. It was just a place with chairs and such, Twilight really needs to start making use out of some of these rooms. “Okay, Jason, what is it you want to talk about” Twilight says “Well first, I was kind of the reason Spike got back so late” I started off with. “Why?” Twilight asks. “He finally asked Rarity out, it didn’t go so well, poor drake was crying his eyes out so I talked to him, oh yeah, I’d keep an eye on him for the next few days if I were you” I explained why. “I see, perhaps I should go talk to Rarity tomorrow” Twilight says more to herself “Just as long as it doesn’t end up making it worse” I say to her Alright the next thing I wanted to talk about. “Okay, so I am going to ask you a question and I want it answered honestly” I say to Twilight “I see no reason to lie” Twilight says. “That day I was pushed off, did you really save me from falling further?” I asked. “I did” Twilight answers “Thank you for that but also, honestly, when you get close to death I’ve been thinking maybe I should fix a few things and one of those things is our…dislike for each other, to be fair it was a little justified both sides-“ I thanked her and moved on to what I really wanted to say. “Was it about the whole “trying to find out everything about you” thing?” Twilight asks. “Only part of it, it’s just that back then, you showed not a bit of remorse, you kind of creeped me out and I had watched plenty of horror movies before whatever got me here happened. To be honest, maybe I should have gone about a better way of telling you I wasn’t your science project other than kicking you in the lower parts and running” I said fairly “I was wrong to have treated it like Celestia’s project, I was young and foolish back then when everything was all about the next book and project” Twilight says. “Then why not start over? Let’s forget three years ago of staring at each other like maniacs. I’ll start, My name is Jason Anderson.” I say to Twilight Twilight looked at me for a bit, I hope she had got what I was implying but then started to speak. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, would you like to be my friend?” She asks. “I would be delighted to be your friend, Twilight Sparkle.” I say to her. And that’s how Equestria…..um I mean that’s how Twilight and I became friends…THE END...of the chapter, what? Did you think it was the end of the story, really? Author's Note Okay so you know Last chapter when I said a certain Orange pegasus being uselessly there, I MEANT FLASH FREAKING SENTRY! Geez how did so many of you think Scootaloo? I make a fic where Rainbow is a bro and you'd think I would do that to Scoots? You guys are sadists! Well maybe I should have been more clear, you'd think being at University would make you do such things in real life. But anywho, yay a lovely friendly chapter, maybe i should of put a friendship letter in there somewhere...oh well too late now.
All it takes is one bad day...So, I think the friendship meter has raised sufficiently enough as I have finally become friends with Twilight Sparkle, Spike…well he’s a work in progress around with Rarity…let’s just say the little guy won’t let go. Hey, don’t judge the poor dragon! It’s hard out there when you get rejected. That said, it’s snowing now because it’s almost Hearth’s Warming (It snows so far away from the Winter gig because of those frozen dudes that feed on disharmony, ah I forget their name…this is going to bugging me all day) so Rainbow was making sure the snow was all well and good in Ponyville. Meanwhile, I am in Canterlot with Celestia, well not right now but later, she has to do her duties, not even love gets in the way of that, is there no force that can stop the dreaded forces of duty? Not likely. I remained in a room just with thoughts as I stared out (I was nowhere near windows or anything, hey! When you get pushed out you tend not to go near those things that can cause these situations again, I’d like to see you try), I’ve been on this planet for 3 years, no internet, no video games, nothing and somehow I haven’t gone crazy, just how is that? I guess all the crazy around here keeps you occupied. Can I tell you a secret? I’m kind of worried about Celestia. Not about our relationship just her and her emotions, she hides behind a smile so much that other emotions have been repressed for so long. When I saw her angry I felt like she was going to blow up everything, I fear Equestria would flood is she cried in sadness. But news about finding the noble responsible is getting real close, it could be today or tomorrow I am told, Celestia is still a bit angry about what happened before, I am worried that she’ll flat out kill the guy/girl. Does the culprit deserve it? Perhaps, but I don’t want him killed, I want him punished, I want him to really regret it, but part of me thinks he should rot in a restless afterlife for all eternity. Would Luna approve of that? What about Twilight and Rainbow Dash? Or even would if somehow my parents or Celestia’s parents (Whoever they are) saw what might happen, would they share any approval? I would like to think no. Perhaps I should get Celestia to come to terms with her emotions, I do not think repressing emotions for such a long time is not a good thing. With Celestia… Celestia was at her wits end, it was another day sure but Princess Celestia was starting to get sick of these days, it was the same thing everyday and a mare can only have so much patience and stoicness before she blows a fuse. Celestia would rather be snuggling with Jason right now than listen to another arrogant noble, she’d rather be living a daydream of love than one more second of her little ponies petitioning for such pointless things, don’t these ponies have mayors in their towns for such things? The current pre-school squabble was about some mare throwing eggs at a noble’s house after said noble apparently called the mare “A word for you that we don’t use in high-society” in the most sneering tone ever. And here they were arguing over each other like fillies…no she knew certain fillies acting way more mature than this, The Cake Twins acted much more mature and they only speak a few words. The thoughts too were truly starting to get to Celestia too. ‘How is it that I have lived this for millennia and now this is bugging me?’ Celestia thinks to herself. ‘Simple Tia, it’s anger. Here you are, sitting like a helpless foal as the ponies before you argue like foals. Hear that? That’s the sound of your patience finally cracking’ a voice sounding like Chrysalis speaks out in Celestia’s head. ‘The Great Princess Celestia, banisher of many bad ponies is meeting her sanity’s end at two mere subjects, such embarrassment this is causing for you’ a Nightmare Moon voice mocks Celestia. ‘Be Quiet the pair of you!' Celestia shouted at the pair of them. ‘Ignore us all you want Celly, but you are finally having a bad day and you think you can survive anything but as the pair of us know…’ “Chrysalis” says to Celestia. ‘…you think you’re invincible that you can’t be fazed by petty emotion but all it takes is one bad day…and you’ll end up JUST. LIKE. US!’ “Nightmare Moon' says right in Celestia’s head very loudly. The pair of ponies in front of Celestia had finally started their fighting in the physical zone and Celestia’s sanity has officially broken. “ENOOOOUUUUGGGHHH!! Can’t you creator-damned foals just act mature FOR FIVE MINUTES!?” Celestia has shouted at the pair of them. Everypony and it damn well meant EVERY PONY including the guards and Swift Scribe (Celestia’s faithful assistant) was literally shocked and quieted. “Okay! So here’s the deal, YOU!” Celestia pointed at the mare, “Just because a noble insults DOES NOT MEAN you throw eggs at his house! I swear if everypony gets offended this much over insults, I might get my scientist ponies to stop their productive work to spend time on egg-repelling spells! Because if hear this one more time I am going the throw that Pony at a window! Now YOU!” Celestia went at the noble, “I have had enough of your kind with you heads so far up that it’s gone in your flanks and if you would just stop with this elitist bunch of feather droppings maybe ponies might respect you. So the pair of you go! Get out of my sight and tell the rest of the ponies that if anything is like this, I order them to begone NOW!” Celestia had finished her shouting. The pair of Ponies clearly scurried out the door like frightened ponies and a guard entered with urgent news. “Your Highness, urgent news!” the new arrival spoke. “And what now?” Celestia spoke in an annoyed tone. “The Culprit’s location has been found, your highness” The guard says Celestia had a smile, not a warm one but a satisfying “at last, justice will be served” smile. Swift Scribe did not like Celestia’s angry outburst, she felt that were it not for Jason’s intervention, the hired pony would be six hooves under. She had read the reports, she was afraid that maybe her boss had finally cracked and she was starting to get those flames she had been told about in the reports she had looked over. Swift Scribe knew Luna would be resting but she needed the human’s help, the culprit’s life may be at stake, she truly cared about her boss, and she didn’t want to see her boss like this but it seems she’s going to need some help. Celestia had left the throne room and Swift Scribe immediately set off to go find Jason Anderson, he may be the only one that could help… Author's Note SO uh...what to say here..Oh right Merry christmas ya ponies...people...whatever...THE PRESENTS ARE ALL MINE!
Lesson 1 of surviving a sun-goddess: Don't ever get her angry.(Back with Jason) KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! “Who is it?” I ask as I looked to the door. “Swift Scribe, Celestia’s assistant I need to talk to you at once” Scribe says through the door. I decided to open the door and let her in and a guard too, since Celestia’s assistant is here I wonder if something happened. “So, what do you need?” I ask her. “It’s about her highness, just five minutes ago in court she had outbursted in court in anger but then news came that the culprit has been found and her highness’ hair went all flamey as she left as she left to go confront the culprit personally…I’m afraid she might…do something” Swift says Oh no, Celestia is going to kill the noble…that’s not good! “Thank you for telling me this, any of you know where Celestia is headed?” I ask the pair of them. “Yes, he is headed to the house of Noble Grudge” the guard speaks up Well no wonder HE did it, god, I swear his mother did not love him as a foal. “Okay, Swift, listen closely, go wake up Princess Luna, I don’t care how you do it but it’s damn urgent, explain what has happened she’ll know what it means. You, Mr. Guard dude, lead the way to the Grudge’s house, we’ll see if we can get Celestia to see reason” I made a plan straight up. “But-“ Swift tries to argue. “DO WHAT I SAY! We don’t have time to sit on our asses, Celestia may be intent on murderous revenge and that will NOT happen! Now let’s go!” I shouted a bit too loud. Swift Scribe nodded and ran off in the direction of Luna’s room meanwhile me and guard here are gonna get Celestia to see reason. “Alright you, lead the way” I say to guard “Alright but we should run double time if we are to make it” The guard says. “That is fine by me, now let’s run” I say And that ladies and gentlemen is why you keep a fit physique in Equestria… (Celestia) Celestia had an anger burning in her, for far too long has threats to her and her family been made without one bit of malice returned, that changes today. In a way, Celestia was finally getting some satisfaction, to revenge upon those who have wronged her just like those cultists 1000 years back, they will learn to respect the name Celestia again and nopony, NOPONY will dare try separate her and Jason ever again and anypony who even so much as thinks it will burnt to ashes. Celestia was barely containing her flame form as she trotted through the Canterlot streets towards her “target”, it wouldn’t be long now, this for Jason after all, to truly close the book on threats to him. Noble Grudge will not live more than a minute once Celestia lays eyes on him and in that minute he will have every bit of regret in his life possible. Celestia was finally at the house… (Jason) Damn it! I should of known this was coming, when it was said finding who it was is very close to being found I should have stationed myself near Celestia. Damn it, Jason! Once again your foolish decisions has gotten you into a mess! We are running through the streets of Canterlot, snooty nobles, Canterlot citizens and all had to be pushed aside as we followed Celestia’s path, I knew I should have talked with her more, maybe got the guards to tell Luna and I first, if Swift Scribe is fast Luna will get here too in time. (Back to Celestia) BOOM! The front door was literally blown to pieces like a canon went through and a flame-filled Celestia entered the house. “YOU! I have finally found you!” Celestia boomed out as she crashed down the door and saw the noble she was looking for. Celestia was truly flaming now and the noble made a terrifying run for it but Celestia lazily used her magic to fling the noble to her feet. “P-P-Princess Celestia, how nice of you…to drop in?” Grudge says with a lot of stuttering. “SILENCE! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE YOU ARE ABOVE ME PEASANT!” Celestia yelled at the pony cowering at her feet. Noble Grudge really was pitiful like the hired help he had sent, Celestia felt he should really end his life now. “So, why DID you do it, why?” Celestia asked with flames roaring on DID. “H-He was in our way, he was marrying you, if it wasn’t me, somepony else would have!” Grudge says. “You are pathetic, you really are. I cannot believe it has taken me this long to finally have had enough but sometimes I surprise even myself. But you surprise me also, not the fact that you dared to attack my fiancé but you are right, somepony else would have done this if it weren’t you. Which is why when you are ashes in about ten seconds, all the nobles will BURN! As have all of you servants of gold and linage have been for far too long a thorn in my side for all the little good you all have done” Celestia spat at the noble (Jason) I am finally at the house and the front door looked like artillery went through it, we may be too late. I had heard what had been said about all nobles may be dying to Celestia, this is definitely not good. “Celestia! Stop this at once!” I said to Celestia as I saw her with who must be Noble Grudge. “This pony has committed High Treason! And his kind was planning the same, for far too long as I have said before, have the nobles been a thorn in my side” Celestia said to me. “That does not excuse killing this pony in cold blood for revenge” I say to her. “You would have done the same, Jason!” Celestia shouted at me. To be honest, she sort of has a fair point there but that's beside the point. “Perhaps, but is that we are? Beings who murder those who wronged us? Because if that’s what we are then we are just as bad as the nobles, Discord, Chrysalis and even Nightmare Moon” I say to her. “Please, help me!” The noble begs me. Just as pathetic as the hired help he sent… “BE SILENT!” Celestia roared as she sent flames to Grudge. “Celestia NO!” I shouted at her as I went to stop her. Too late, he was burning for a few seconds in which he screamed in agony and then he turned to ash and then the ash was vaporized in a matter of 10 seconds. It was…sickening to watch. FATALITY! “TIA!” I heard Luna’s shout from the doorway Where were you 30 seconds ago? That said Luna was not happy. “Luna, stay out of this!” Celestia says to Luna. “We shall not, you intend harm upon some of our subjects, and just because one noble has done treason does not mean thou should punish all of them” Luna says. “And then what? Punish one at a time once they all decide to do something rash when we could solve the problem once and for all? You have no idea how much suffering there is to be had when you watch noble after noble each thinking the world owes them everything! When is our time, Luna? When do we get a simple hello from somepony we don’t know, to have a love life without having the paparazzi following us around or this happening? Never it seems! Because both our lives seems devoted to some creator’s will to let us suffer these unbearable types and put on a fake smile, I. AM. DONE! No more!” Celestia says with such anger that scared me and just about any other pony. “Celestia? If you do not want pestering by douchebag types like nobles then what do you want? Truly? I want to know what it is” I asked Celestia. I am not sure what she will answer to be honest right now. “Just to settle down with you, perhaps a foal some point in the future, leave something for Equestria to have because I can’t do this forever, Luna can’t. Twilight and Cadence have yet to live a long time, one day they will be the Princesses that everypony thinks of when the Royal sisters are gone. Right now, I just want to be with you, find some other meaning to my own life other than raising the same damned solar ball every day and listening to sordid problems of my subjects that could be solved if they simply used their brains.” Celestia confesses her wishes. But it can’t happen like this, Celestia. Not yet, one step at a time. “Celestia, I love you. You know I do with all my heart, but this anger will not further any advance towards the future you want. With love, many emotions come other than that stoic mask and fake smile you put on, and do you think I do not watch my own soon to be wife in a court? I have seen the weariness of the same thing, we need to get you out of this repressment of emotion. Killing the nobles will provide more consequences then rewards. Sure they are a pain in the ass but that’s life Celestia, you need to go hard and you go home. Celestia, you need help and Luna, Twilight, everypony will offer their help, including me.” I say to her. “Jason’s right Tia, we art one big family, so we request thou calms down and we talk, like proper mares, not foolish foals revenging on schoolyard bully” Luna says Celestia’s flames die down and she seems back to normal…hopefully for a long while. I walk up to Celestia, I know she will not burn me or anything of the sort, I give her a hug, a warmth of the sun hug I loved so much (One day, there shall be a way to harvest that feeling for all to enjoy), the aura around our bodies happened again. “Come on Celly, let’s get to work on making that future a reality shall we? Or at least after a good snuggle session” I say to her. “Snuggle session sounds good” Celestia says to me. Hey, between you and me, maybe some point after I get married, I may get some kids and they’ll be the best damn kids you have ever seen! And even if they somehow aren’t, I’ll be proud of them in the future, I can Pinkie Promise that will happen. Author's Note OH look double chapter update for Christmas? God you kids are spoiled! I command you give over the stocking of chocolate to Nightmare Dawsonator! Failure to comply with result in your very slow and horrible death! (Imagine that in a very female cherry voice)
A little talk to Luna.Yaaaawwnnnn…goddess that snuggle was awesome! Oh right gotta get focused today. We are going to help Celestia control Negative emotions because Celestia suffers PTSD (Positive Traumatic Stress Disorder) or Over-Positive dose. Point is, she’s too positive and when Negative emotions finally crack it is over the top hence Celestia burnt a dude alive for the love the sun. What? Why are you looking at me that way? I read books, what? You thought Twilight was the only one to ever read a book ever? Well exuuuuuussseee me Mr./Mrs./Miss I search all my answers up on Google (Google in Equestria may as well be Twilight Sparkle)! Look, I’m worried about her okay? Not as just a friend, boyfriend and soon to be husband to the Sun Goddess known as Celestia, but as Jason too, Celestia might lose control one day, like Luna did and if that day comes, I have to be prepared. I look at Celestia snuggling in, still beautiful in sleeping in, and happy. I want her to be happy, she’s been through a lot through the years, she deserves every bit of happiness I give her and more. She exploded…twice, one at the hospital with my attacker and the noble behind it, the latter of him is not enough ashes for an urn to fill. What if I do lose her…NO! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do not think about that! I will not submit to the thought of losing Celestia, is she goes down than I will go down with her. This thought is maddening me, maybe I’ll need therapy. I need somepony to talk to, somepony that knows Celestia and knows to how to keep Celestia calm and collected: Luna. I need to talk to Luna, she knows Celestia better than anypony. If I want to share the future Celestia and I both want, I need to help her before she hurts somepony else or kills somepony else. Celestia will talk with somepony while I talk to Luna. Knock Knock! “Who’s there?” A slightly grumpy sounding Luna says through the door. “It’s me Jason, I need to talk to you” I say through the door. “Very well, come into our quarters” Luna says through the door. If Celestia’s room was bright and sunny, Luna was the other side of the coin, the room was Midnight Blue with stars and the Moon over the walls. It had it’s own beauty in its own way. “So, thou hath come to speak with us, pray tell, what is this matter about?” Luna asks me as I sit down. “Celestia, I need to talk to you about Celestia” I reply to Luna’s question. “In regards to?” Luna asks again. “Her actions as of late, I’m worried about her, Princess. But I don’t know how to go about making sure such things don’t happen again.” I clarify my point. “We art afraid that this has been a long time coming, Jason. What thou saw yesterday, was a suppressed rage, suppressed for a very long time.” Luna says honestly. “Well, I want to understand Celestia, I want to know where she’s coming from, what things could have fueled her anger, stuff like that” I say to her. “What thou must understand, is that both our own and Tia’s lives have been full of one bad thing after another. One could say our lives have had nothing but events that are attempting to drive the pair of us into insanity” Luna say to me. I wonder what she could mean. “Tia, she’s been strong for far too long. When we came back, we found no signs of insanity, no moral turmoil, we searched everywhere for any signs, history books and the like. We found old diaries of Tia’s, we didn’t want to invade mine sister’s privacy but it was for the better. We saw what happened in those diaries. Tia was distraught, so depressed that she kept to herself for a good century on mine own banishment.” Luna describes Celestia. “So, Celestia basically lost it when I could have been murdered and found the perp of this whole thing?” I ask Luna. “Thou must understand, Tia has almost lost everypony she has ever cared about and each and every day is a reminder of that fact. She has lost students to the darkness, separated themselves from Tia, few died trying to prove themselves worthy. Our parents, they disappeared when we were naught but a young teenager, mine own banishment and many more has been stabs to her heart, she’s holding on to thee like a foal a teddy bear that the foal refuses to ever let go, she often checks on us to make sure we do not descend into Darkness once more and Tia certainly saw Twilight Sparkle as a daughter she has never had, the three of us art closest to her now, her close close family like Mi Amore Cadenza, Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle’s friends.” Luna explains what is in Celestia’s heart. I paused for a bit to take it all in. Celestia has been through so much, I wonder what I could do to ease her pain, make her feel happy. “Thy blunder hast been a blessing in disguise, we thought thou were just like other nobles, claiming purity when they are dirtier than the Earth Ponies they claim they are. Know this Jason Anderson, thou have captured Tia’s heart, thou and her are together not by a law now but by love, my only request is that thou make her happy, she has waited for her happiness for far too long, our turn can wait” Luna says to me. “I was under the impression you disliked me, much less threatening me that you’ll kill me or something” I say to Luna. “Never would we kill you, Jason. we had thought at first this was just going to make Tia’s life worse than it needed to be, we watched you and if you didn’t perform to standard as her husband, then we would act accordingly. Tia may care much for me, but she fails to realize how much care she gets in return, we care for her, thou care for her, Twilight Sparkle cares for her, Mi Amore Cadenza does too and a few others.” Luna replied to my assumption. “I have one last question, is it possible for Celestia to fall into a Nightmare state? Or something that exists that could make her explode even worse” I ask Luna. “Tia has said she exterminated all of the Nightmares after our banishment but it is possible some were missed, however for a Nightmare to truly possess somepony, thou would need a lot of pain and a lack of willpower, believe us, it would take a lot more to take Tia as it took me. As for anything that could make Tia explode, we don't know but it would have to be something she's kept secret in her heart for a long time.” Luna answers. “I see, well thanks for talking with me and all” I say to end the whole conversation. “Thou art most welcome, and if we were thee, we might endeavor to start planning the wedding that is happening in a month” Luna advises me. “I shall” I say as I leave the room. Only one month? Good Sunny Goddess I’m marrying, we actually got to go prepare that, like RIGHT NOW! Author's Note I live? I LIVE! HAHAHAHA! Yeah I had a fun holiday doing nothing but gaming! And reading fiction with no motive to write, a fun holiday all around...now then. Have a chapter, ON ME!
A four worded Question.You wanna know what the plus side of preparing a wedding when you marry a Princess, you get so many staff in the castle helping to prepare this thing. We decided to marry in Twilight’s castle and she’s going to do the “You may now kiss the bride” thing, Luna is going with Celestia on the isle and Rainbow Dash is my best mare. I asked the Cakes to supply the wedding cake because I trust nopony else with this important task, the weather team was going to make sure this weather was sunny, security was going to be around in case of the Changelings trying to feed off our love (If they did get it, they will be blow up their own stomachs up with how much they get). Rarity was supplying the wedding dress and my suit, I paid her extra for this service (she originally made my first clothes coming here free of charge, it’s time I repaid that), Applejack was going to make some food and there was going to be other stuff around. As for the guest list, everypony in Ponyville was invited, Princess Cadence and Shining Armor were invited, the Elements, Luna, distinguished nobility and more were coming to the wedding. But with all that happening and the preparations were almost complete with two weeks left, there was one major thing I haven’t done yet, actually propose to Celestia. Yeah sure this thing is happening with or without because of Flankhole the Bearded, but if I am going to marry her, I am doing it with my heart not with a law by Beardface the Asshat (Don’t worry, I got better insults, I just don’t want to utter them or Twilight gets offended…like seriously offeneded! The way she talks about him you’d think the two would be dating, I’ll let you figure out the obvious problem). So, I had prepared a surprise for her, well a picnic surprise outside of Ponyville on a hill, I gave her a note saying to be there at 4 o’clock in the afternoon today. It is now 3:50pm and I am there, I am so nervous, how could I not be? But if this goes all to plan the pair of us may be the happiest couple in any universe. 3:58pm…almost time. “Hello Jason” Celestia says from behind me. “Hey Celly” I turn around to greet her as I pocketed the ring I was going to give her later. “Well? I am curious, what is this surprise you mentioned?” Celestia asked. “A Picnic, to get you away from the throne for a couple of hours” I say to her. “I will admit, it has been a little too long since the pair of us and not just doing a wedding practice or preparing the whole wedding, it Is quite stressful on top of normal duties.” Celestia says to me, grateful that I took her away from her job for a bit. Believe me, I know. What I am about to do was 2 weeks in the making, finding the right ring practicing how to do this, even Luna helped when she found out my plan through a dream. I just got to do it. “There will be much relief for both of us once the wedding is over” I say honestly, making conversation. “It will indeed, I didn’t think I would ever live to see my own wedding day approaching” Celestia says to me, also honestly. Then, I shall make her happy, I just need say the four worded question. “Yes, I thought my own would be years later, but I guess we can’t control fate or tradition or law or whatever we want to call what got us together in the first place.” I thought as I half-wondered what my life would be like if I never slept with Celestia…or even ended up on Earth. “If I may ask, what does a human male and female do for marriage, traditions and so on and so forth?” Celestia asks me curiously. “Well, some families, the man asks the father of the woman for permission to marry his daughter. Some people pop a ring in a wine glass and the woman discovers it. In fact, the man does the chasing on Earth and the Woman decides if she truly loves the man or not and accepts the marriage request. The actual marriage stuff is pretty much the same as Equestria just with Earth buildings and no magic. The man wears a black suit with a black tie and the woman wears a long white wedding dress” I explain to her. “Anything more?” Celestia asks. Now’s your chance Jason! Do it! Do it now, you can do this! “T-There is one other way of proposing…the man would get on one knee like this” I demonstrate going on one knee, “they would say their love to the female and then they would pull out a ring and ask a four worded question, a yes/no question and the female will decide to marry the man or not” I explained the way I was going to propose to her. I pause for a deep breath as I took out the case for the ring and got on one knee and held Celestia’s right hoof in my hands. “Celestia, we have come a long way since I tried to run from your sister when I realized what I had done, I thought this was the end of my life. I realize now that it was quite the opposite, it was the start. I thought as a Princess, you deserved better than some lowlife human who was going to be your loveless husband bound by some bearded twat's law. I decided to at least make it look real, I didn’t realize I would fall for you. You, with a kind and generous heart look after Equestria and endure many trials and sufferings to keep it that way, when I look now, I see how much pain you take for others, yet you never seemed to get your own happiness, true happiness is a beautiful thing on you Celestia. I see it when you talk to or about Twilight or Luna, I don’t see it when you talk to or about some politician, it’s empty, it’s fake and I cannot feel the warm and happy Celestia I see in a true smile. I’m rambling on but to boil down to it, yes we are getting married but that’s by a law and a forced happiness is not a happiness at all, it’s torture. I come here today to change that, I want this for real, I want to make you happy, I want any pain you endure, I endure that pain with you, If life pulls you by the mane, I will be there to help you back up as you did me before when I faced a close death. I do not need words from you to know my love and faith is not misplaced in you. I love you Celestia and I want not to be an agent of suffering in your life but an agent of the true happiness you have waited for a long time coming now.” I went on a bit of a speech. I put the ring case into the Celestia’s hoof opened it to show the ring and looked her the eye, there was nothing to avert my eye contact not that I wanted it to, my eyes were only for hers and hers starting widening as she caught on to what must be happening. “Celestia…for real, for true love. Will you marry me?” I proposed to her. Celestia looked to me, to the ring and back to me, time must have frozen briefly in her when I asked that…as for me, millions of thoughts were in my head. Celestia looks into my eyes, my soul and my heart and her mouth starts to move and speech comes out with the answer that is... To be continued... Author's Note What? Did you actually think that there wasn't going to be a cliffhanger at the end of this chapter? You actually thought there wasn't going to be was there. I laugh at your foolishness!
A One Worded Answer.Meanwhile somewhere else, somewhere not at all related to the story… (Probably play the Imperial March theme from Star Wars for maximum effect here, link is down below because I am humble and kind…wait…no I’m not otherwise I wouldn't have cliffhangered you, but you’ll get a link anyway cause why not?) An Australian man sat on his bed, it was really hot outside so he had the air conditioner on, god bless Air Con! All hail the mighty Air Conditioner! HAIL IT! HAIL IT I SAY! But back to the point, this Australian (Not a bogan one that says stereotypically “Put another shrimp on the Barbie” or something like that, if you do that I will kill you) had just released a chapter for a fiction called “So, you are suddenly a soon-to-be husband of a Sun Goddess”, this chapter had a cliffhanger at the end, at the Australian Author’s most diabolical will. Reactions to this cliffhanger were received and exactly the results he wanted, he grinned evilly at the computer screen and said: “Exactly as planned!” (One more video I promise) His cliffhanger skills were complete and he stood up from his bed and stopped writing the next chapter. “First, FimFiction falls to my Cliffhanger genius, that was today. Tommorow, the WORLD SHALL FALL TO CLIFFHANGERS! NO LONGER SHALL EPISODES OR CHAPTERS OR WHATEVER END NORMALLY, THEY WILL ALWAYS BE CLIFFHANGERS! NOBODY WILL STOP ME! MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Just imagine lightning in the background)” TheDawsonator1 gloats to absolutely nobody. The world was truly about to doomed to cliffhangers, is there nobody that can stop this horrible cliffhangerness by TheDawsonator1…nah! You’re all screwed! Now back to the actual story that you normal-ending loving peons came here for… I was literally the definition of nervous right now, I had asked the Four-lettered question, there can only be a two or three lettered reply…I’m hoping for the latter. Celestia opens her mouth the speak the reply, my heart is literally not beating anymore. “Oh Jason! Of course I will! You didn’t have to do this all for me, the answer is yes! Yes, I will marry you!” Celestia answers finally. For real? She’s not joking! Ears! YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT? She did say Yes? YES! SHE SAID YES! YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! YESYESYESYESYEYSYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES! WOOOHOOOOOOOO! Play the VICTORY MUSIC! Celestia just kissed me, I was surprised at first but I kissed back so passionately deep that I may have came out the other side kissing. I didn’t really care, the important thing was, SHE SAID THE GREATEST THREE-LETTERED WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE…AND EQUISH! My body and Celestia’s were lighting up again, even more brightly than before as we kissed, it’s like the magic knew we just agreed to marry each other for real. When we broke apart from the kiss, we smiled, we smiled so much that Pinkie is jealous…she’s right over there to your right. Suddenly I felt something coming out my back and butt…well top of my butt and also the top of my head. That felt very weird saying it my head, if fact, that sounded better in my head inside my head. “I do believe you just earned some pony traits” Celestia noticed as she looked behind me. “What?” I was confused. I look behind me and by some form of magic, wings, a tail and some pony ears were popping out…it’s like I’m some anthro pony right now, does love really do that? Before I could investigate any further, they disappeared in a blue flash. “Awww, I wanted to look at the new attachments” I said as I saw them disappear. “Fear not, I believe they will come back” Celestia says as she throws me into a hug. Celestia hugs cure cancer, that is all. “I know Celly, but I’ll worry about that later, now, I’ve never been so happier in my life as I have right now” I say as we hugged. “My dearest Jason, I don’t think I have ever been so full of joy as I have now, my destiny has thrown so many things at me, I’m glad I went through it to see the day I would fall in love” Celestia smiles at me. My mouth is going to hurt the next day from all this smiling, just saying but IT. IS. WORTH IT! “I promise you this, as long as I may live, I know I won’t stop loving you Celly, it’s kind of hard to stop with such a beautiful face though” I promised her. “Oh, Jason you flirt! You don’t need to impress me any further, I have already explained in detail why I have fallen for you” Celestia says with a playful punch. “I don’t know, a casual reminder maybe, just to be safe?” I give a cheeky smile. “Nope, I believe you know why, nice try Jason, I am not that easy” Celestia says. “Oh damn! I was hoping to reminded of what an excellent husband I’ll be, however will I live through the rest of my life knowing that on the day of proposal, my awesome wife didn’t remind of just how awesome I am” I said all dramatically. “Oh hush you, if you like, there are more ways to remind of you of why I love than just talk” Celestia gives “That” look, believe me, if you saw it you’ll know what I mean. “W-What? U-um, okay…like what?” I ask nervously, thinking what about what she COULD be implying. Was she…? Was she implying what I think she was implying? “Well…” Celestia started. Suddenly a Aqua flame much like Spike’s green flame came and formed a scroll to Celestia. (What? You thought Spike was the only one, there are actually a few and each Princess actually has a personal small dragon that volunteers to help send messages and stuff, they are rarely seen though, they don't like Ponies asking questions and such) “Jason, I am needed at once back at Canterlot, something has come up” Celestia said sadly, she didn’t want to go. “Party’s over, huh?” I say to her “Unfortunately, I’d much rather stay here” Celestia says. “Go do your duty Celestia. But, one more kiss for the road?” I say wisely. Celestia knew what I meant and we shared one last kiss and then she flew off into the distance of Canterlot. I smiled as she flew off and waved when she looked back. It’s kind of weird what will happen in a couple of months, one day I was just a human attending yet another party, the next I had slept with Celestia at that party and was forced to marry her by STB (StarSwirl the Bearded…what? Did you think it was Sexually Transferred Bad odor?), overall I say I’m happy the way I am thanks to that bearded bastard…I’m still going to smash his statue though. I walk off back to my house through Ponyville with the hugest smile on my face, for the first time since I arrived in Equestria a few years back, I feel like I’m part of this place. Now, I must enjoy some time to myself for now, there are many things to do within the next two weeks before the wedding. I know I have somepony waiting for me, I also have a best friend to tell the good news. Author's Note So about that bit at the top about me threatening to take over the world? That was lies, SLANDER AND LIES! I am not attempting to take over the world with cliffhangers, and no those aren't the Elements of Harmony in my basement as my personal slaves helping that happen, don't be ridiculous! "Hey, is your name Twilight Sparkle and do you bear an object called the Element of Magic?" "No" See, she said no, not Twilight Sparkle or any element bearers at all. But when I find the slandering fool who dares try to discredit me, well let's just say he'll be hanging off a cliff and I'll stamp on his hands and he'll fall off screaming to his DOOM! And then I'll laugh evilly, also I may laugh on my wheelie chair steal the neighbours cat and stroke it just to look evil. Anywho, not taking over the world. So enjoy the chapter...and Cliffhanger will come later...WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! And also you get lucky for this chapter I didn't want to leave you hanging for the next one...well you were already hanging...ON A CLIFF! Okay I should just go home in shame, my jokes are bad and I feel bad.
A quick talk with Dash.Have you ever felt so happy that literally nothing can stand in the way of that happiness? I do, it was the day after yhe Project: Propose to Celestia for real went a COMPLETE SUCCESS! She said yes, I am just so happy I could rocket into a firework like Pinkie would when she gets really happy. Actually Pinkie saw my smile and then she smiled and went bouncing off like she does, how does a mare like her have such energy to bounce everywhere, maybe she’s charged on happiness? Sadness is her Kryptonite maybe? Questions for never. Still one thing got me curious, those pony parts I got, the tail, the ears and the wings I had briefly when I kissed Celestia after she agreed to marry for real. I tried getting some way of getting them out before, didn’t seem to work although thinking about Celestia got a tiny glow, but the parts didn’t come out. It was a couple of days until the wedding, I was hanging around with Rainbow Dash as Celestia had more duties to attend to, even when a wedding was on they just wouldn’t leave her alone. “So wings, huh? If you find out how to keep them, promise you’ll let me teach you how to fly” Dash says to me. “Sure, unless Celestia insists she does it” I promise her. “I just hope you can, you’ll have all the awesomeness of flying around and you can visit my awesome crib anytime” Dash goes on. “I know, I wouldn’t mind trying flying for myself but I still don’t have a clue why I even have an ability to go all Anthro-pony in the first place. My kind don’t have any trace of magic, at best we got those people who pretend this shit up and somehow fool people, like religion” I state my opinion on the whole thing. “Dude, you haven’t lived until you’ve napped on a cloud, it’s like your back getting a massage without going to the spa” Rainbow says, ignoring the whole Humans have no magic fact. “Yeah, well don’t get any hopes up, I’m not sure how this whole getting pony parts thing works just yet” I say “I’m just saying,it would be awesome if you could control those wings popping out of your back” Rainbow assures of me her thoughts. I really wouldn’t mind being able to fly, I mean compared to ponies, I kind of walk around everywhere and do…things. Thank the something up there that I am not trying to battle unicorns. Bad things would happen, involving me being in ashes at this point. “I might get to finding that stuff out after the wedding, it’s keeping me up nights just thinking about it and it’s two days away.” I decide on that matter. “So, are you all ready for the big day, you know Twilight will chew your flank out if you aren’t 345.7% prepared at least” Dash says, warning me if I wasn't prepared for the wedding. “That’s quite a specific number for you Rainbow Dash” I noticed her not saying a bazillion or some other number. “Trust me, you do not want to see Twilight in her statistics phase, I’ve got numbers in my head that are etched into my head and all the info is POINT-LESS! Did you know that the amount of books that can ever feature on any featured thing in Equestria is ten…same for fanfiction apparently. Also that 24% of ponies in the Canterlot region of ponies are gay or lesbian” Dash says. “Sounds horrible” I say simply. “It is, and don’t get me started on the stuff Twilight knows about Celestia, she had the exact size of Celestia and has DNA of her and still has it despite giving up that cloning project” Dash points out some…interesting facts. “Okaaaayy…that’s not at all creepy” I replied to that fact. “Believe me, that’s normal for Twilight’s weirdness. Point is, you better be ready now or Twilight will kill you and then Celestia will kill her…well not really more like “Mare…I am disappoint” and then Twilight dies of a heart attack, you get the point” Dash gets to the point. “Yeah I know, we are ready, but honestly, I just need to enjoy some air before all this starts, once I am on the other side of this wedding, there is going to be a lot o changes involving me having to move away from Ponyville and a fair amount of other things” I say as I realize that these were the last days of unmarried life. “Promise me you’ll visit us right? Whenever you get time” Dash says to me. “I promise” I promise Dash. It was only a couple of days away but, part of me wants to keep this previous life but part of me wants to embrace married life, this change is not going to be without some regrets but overall I think I’ll like it…hopefully. For now, I better enjoy these last couple of days while I can. There's nothing more I can do now but wait, everything will be perfect, I just know it! Author's Note Yeah this a casual chapter, filler if you will. But next chapter...THE BIG ONE! Cause this ain't a dream no more! (If you get where that's from, good for you!) Also 300+ likes, you guys are awesome! Have a free Something bothering you-Curing hug!
THE BIG WEDDING! (Hence the caps lock/Royal Canterlot Voice)Have you ever had an experience where the day you wait for feels like it’s never supposed to arrive? Like how people feel about graduation, I wouldn't know, I was taken to Equestria days before that. But the wedding day was today, it was here after what must have felt like an eternity. But yet, here I was, in front of a full length mirror looking at myself in a suit for the occasion, my best mare, Rainbow Dash was in her own unique dress keeping me calm because, weddings are nervous as all hell. Imagine when Twilight gets married, I fear not even Celestia could calm her down. “Jason, stop fiddling with your fingers, that’s looking not awesome for you” Dash grabs my fingers away from each other. “Sorry, it’s just this whole thing is making me more nervous than Twilight when the word “Test” is mentioned next to her” I reply back. “Well get your flank into gear, you’re marrying the most awesome Princess ever! And she’s marrying the most awesome human ever, it’s a win-win today!” Dash assures me. “I know but all these worrying thoughts come up and…” I started before Dash interrupts me. “None of that, Jason! No worrying thoughts! They can’t be the boss of you, you are the boss of them and you must command them to go jump off a cliff or you’ll push them off personally! When you get out there, you will walk up there with pride and umm…grace I suppose for Rarity’s sake, when Twilight asks you to do the “I do” part, you damn do it! You say I do like if you said anything else, you’d die in shame! When Twilight says you two kiss, YOU GIVE HER THE MOST PASSIONATE DAMN KISS EVER!...when I’m not looking I can’t stand the sappiness. But when you walk out, everypony will know about the most badflank and awesome couple there is and it will be you two, ARE. WE. CLEAR?” Dash gives me a pep talk (sadly no General outfit there). “Yes” I reply. “Good! Now get out there and make us proud!” Dash says as she nudges me out. Alright! LET’S DO THIS! NOTHING CAN STOP ME! NOTHING! 2 seconds later… Is it just me or this hallway really long? And when did people get this stare-y? Reminds me of the days I first got here, ponies had no “it’s rude to stare” rule or something back then. Now Jason, just get to the end, no nervousness shall defeat you this day, you survived an attack on your life, you’ve done everything for the mare you’re about to marry and she’s done a lot for you, now I got get to the end. Left…left, left right left! Left, right, left right left!. See? I’m there, I am master of walking seemingly long wedding hallways, kneel before my awesome hallway walking powers! Anywho, I made it and Rainbow Dash came up beside me and smiled at me in approval, now we just wait for Celestia to arrive. She will won’t she? She can’t even abandon this, the law prevents her from doing so, but I know the law won’t force her, her own will does it. Still, the thought still comes and it’s every groom’s worst nightmare, being left at the altar, calm down Jason, that won’t happen, you’re overreacting going hybrid Rairty-Twilight overreaction here soon if you don’t stop it. Suddenly I imagined myself seeing Celestia leave and me goign all THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! The doors opened, the music played…holy fucking shit...it’s Celestia…she’s…she’s…I don’t even know of a word good enough to describe her because I did use one she’d be offended by how low I’d be rating her with the word I use when she has a much higher rating than the one I used, know what I’m saying? Celestia was pure white, when she came out, she was glowing pure white, like seriously, there was an outline all around her and her dress that was pure white, like sunlight. And my she had a the white wedding dress that put Cadence’s to shame (Pink and white just looked not right in my opinion, well it looked all right but yeah, it’s fur colour, what can you do? And would the Princess of Love be anything BUT Pink? Speaking of which, she’s in the seating with Shining Armor whom I saw and they both waved as the looked back to Celestia), it was traditional white and in traditional form, only Celestia’s was imbued with magic to make it more radiant of the power Celestia had, the head thing brides have (God I forget what they call it every time) went along with her mane which was extra shiny and wavy today. TL;DR My jaw just went through the castle and to the planet’s core looking at her. She is walking up to my side, and my jaw was still open. “Hey dude, close your jaw, you’ll swallow some flies if you keep that up” Rainbow whispered as she nudged me and I did close my mouth. Celestia arrived at my side as the music finished, she looked my way and she had the most beautiful smile…If I had a smile like that I would charge ponies to see it, I honestly reckon it could cure cancer if experimentation happened with it. But I smiled back mouthing a compliment to her. And now my heart is literally doing a rapid drumming right now, here it was, the moment ever since that day we found ourselves next to each other was counting down to, many would say they’d be the luckiest guy in the world on their wedding day but me…I feel the luckiest of all the luckiest guys in the world right now. Twilight was up as she had flash cards to read off as she went to speak out the wedding. (Typical Twilight) “Mares, Gentlecolts, Commoners, Nobles, Princes, Princesses, Earth Ponies, Pegasi, Unicorns, Alicorns, Human and many more, today we are gathered to the unification of Jason Anderson of Planet Earth and Celestia, Princess of the Sun.” Twilight started her speech Twilight said that with such professionalism around Celestia, usually I’d think she’d be trying to think how best to not fuck it up. “These two beings have endured their fair share of trials to be where they are today and have agreed to marry each other, now onto the ceremony to make it final. ” Twilight continues on with her speech. Here it comes… “Jason Cameron Anderson, do you Harmoniously, take Princess Celestia as your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you may live, in sickness and in health, in Harmony and Chaos, peace and war until death do you part?” Twilight asks the all important question. I paused, a million thoughts came through as I stared into the eyes of Celestia, I want to do this, I want to make her happy and I will make it so until my dying breath, because I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, I don't think a life without her would be the same as it were before. So from that I say... “I do.” I answered as Twilight smiled at me. “Princess Celestia, do you Harmoniously, take Jason Cameron Anderson as your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you may live, in sickness and in health, in Harmony and Chaos, peace and war until death do you part?” Twilight asked Celestia the important question. I wonder if Celestia was thinking the same thoughts I did when she stared into my eyes before she answered… “I do” Celestia answered . “Then may the rings come out and you may now exchange vows” Twilight says to us. Rainbow Dash handed me the ring I am going to give to Celestia and Luna gave Celestia the ring she’s going to give to me. It’s my turn for the vows. I got closer to Celestia and placed the ring on her horn. The Ring was a special kind of gold, one kind that hasn’t been around 1200 years but I pulled a few strings with the help of Luna and a talented ringmaker. The gold is special, it will never rust until the pony for which it was made for deceases and even after that it takes a while to lose its value, a special gem in shape of Celestia’s mark was on it. It costed a lot but it’s worth it. “Celestia, we went from just lovers on circumstances to never even imagining being without each other, I went through a near-death experience to realize that our relationship was more than the magic of friendship, it was the power of love. You went out of your way to ensure my safety and I will go out of my way to do the same for you, I promise I will love you for the rest of my days, I swear to any god or goddess that listens, I will make sure you enjoy true happiness. I love you Celestia, forever and ever and death will not stop me from doing that when that time comes” I say my vow. Celestia then smiled as she placed the ring on my wedding finger, it was a similar design but instead of the sun, a detailed planet Earth was there. “Jason, I thought I’d never find love, I admit in my early years as Princess, I never had time for something that seemed so petty to me, I only cared about Equestria and my own sister. I was a fool. Through light of recent events in the past couple of years, it’s been made clear that I cannot handle Equestria as just my duty or take care of my sister, my former student that is next to us running the ceremony and all that I care about as just another duty. There is Harmony in those things, there is love in those same things, that’s what drives me to continue day after day, I just never realized until recently. Recently, I found the love I thought so long ago as petty and it was anything but petty, you do not owe me making me happy, you already have, I believe that together, we will love each other in perfect harmony. I am ready to start the next big adventure in our lives and I know we will make it through with each other at our sides” Celestia did a vow of her own. I was touched, I really am. I think this whole last few months have been enlightening. The next big adventure? Married life? I say we are overqualified and one of us is massively overdue to start this next big thing. “And so it shall be, by the authority as Princess of Friendship, Element of Magic and through the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife, you may now kiss the bride” Twilight finishes the ceremony. Celestia and I moved in for the first kiss as a married couple, the second our lips touched I felt the magic flowing through me as we glowed once more and the pony parts…I could feel them better than I could before, it didn’t matter, the applause didn’t matter, what mattered was it was finally here…the next step, at 20 years of age I was married, my only regret that my family were not her to see this day, but I am sure they would be proud. We broke apart, I looked behind me to discover the pony parts were more clearer than before, there were cobalt blue coloured wings and tail, ears as well too. I liked them, but that’s for later. Now, we walked down the isle and out the door, we had a reception the do and I know a certain wife of mine is really wanting to get to the wedding cake (She can’t hide it from me). “You have beautiful new appendages sticking out of you” Celestia observed as we walked out the door. “Thank you, although they pale compared to yours, my darling wife” I reply back. “Oh these old wings that are old as I am? Although I am told I look good for my age” Celestia joked. “I did hear a rumor that mares are dying to know your secret” I continued the joke. “Alicorn genes, my loving husband. I still remember my mother, she looked beautiful the last time I ever saw her before she disappeared” Celestia said less jokingly and more honestly. “I miss my family, but I know they are proud if they did see us as well as your parents would be I am sure” I reply as I wrapped an arm around her. We ignored all the press flashing their cameras at us, and we went into the Just Married carriage that was to take us to Sugarcube corner for the reception and to fill Celestia’s stomach of next adventure yumminess. I am not worried now, I am not concerned, I am not sad, I am no negative emotion. I am happy, I have a sense of fulfillment in me, magic in me, I am ready. Let the married life begin… Author's Note Here it is! The BIG ONE! I had a good time writing this chapter and I've had it my head for soooooooooooooooooooooooooo long! There is but one more chapter left to do and it concludes the story.
So you are married to a Sun-Goddess now. (The Finale)I had Celestia’s head resting on my shoulder throughout the ride to Sugarcube Corner, the sun was setting, some time in when we arrive, Celestia will lower the sun and Luna will raise the moon. But the pair of us felt so relaxed, we were MARRIED! Husband and Wife! YEEAAAHHHHH! WHOOOOOOOOO! Excited might needed be added to the emotion list. We arrived at Sugarcube Corner, it was time to greet all the guests and get cameras flashed in my face, but you can’t win them all. “A pity the ride wasn’t longer, I enjoyed resting on your shoulder” Celestia says as we get out. “Fear not my Princess, we shall have plenty of that once we get to the Crystal Shores” I assure her. The Crystal Shores was a special tourist spot near the Crystal Empire, on a Icy beach but the weather is as warm as the Crystal Empire and it’s known to be very soothing and had long history with the crystal ponies before Sombra showed up. Everypony was already there waiting for us as Pinkie greeted us. “Hi Jason! Hi Princess! Congratulations on the marriage, cooooommmeee on in!” Pinkie bounced in front of us. “Thank you Pinkie” Celestia gave Pinkie a smile as we entered. Just as we entered, the pony parts disappeared…awww, I wanted to see how they worked. Why can’t these just be permanent or not, just make up your mind! Anywho, the second Celestia saw cake she…well, let’s just say Rainbow Dash is no longer the fastest pony in Equestria. As I watched Celestia devour cake, Luna came over to talk to me. “Hello dearest Brother-in-Law, welcome to the family!” Luna greeted. “Thanks Luna, I wouldn’t have made it without you” I reply. “Nay, the thanks do not lie with us, if thou wishes to thank anypony, thou wouldst thank Cadence, but thou must admit that thy actions have proven thyself as a worthy suitor to Tia” Luna shakes her head. “Thank you Luna, I promise I’ll look after Celestia” I say to her. “Thou might want to hasten on that promise, we fear our sister may be overdoing it on the cake” Luna points out to Celestia eating the cake. “Hey Celestia! Save some for us!” I call out to her. Celestia heard us but didn’t reply to me at all, nothing stops her from cake, NOTHING!. “I suppose it’s fair warning to issue our sister of the royal dietarian’s wrath when the pair of thee return” Luna says as she watches Celestia eat more cake. “Don’t worry, I’ll pass the warning. As much as I would like to talk further, I must find the other ponies I wish to see before we leave” I end the conversation. “Of course Brother-in-Law, we shan’t keep you” Luna says as she leaves. I turn to find Princess Cadence waiting for me. Guess she's here to congratulate me. “Hello Cadence” I say as she comes near me. “Hello Jason, Congratulations, you’re married now!” Cadence squealed as I was hugged. “Thanks Cadence, although could you loosen the grip, otherwise Pinkie might sue for the death hug grip” I say Cadence then let go of me, Alicorns I swear are going to be the death of me, if so, it has to be Celestia. “Oops, sorry! But welcome to the royal family Jason, are you excited to be here or what?” Cadence says to me. “Yes, I am. I am so happy this is finally here” I say honestly. “I was like that when I was at my wedding for real, I do hope you enjoy the honeymoon and…don’t go too crazy with Aunt Celestia will you?” Cadence remembered her own wedding “No promises there Cadence, Celestia’s the crazy one out of us I reckon, I’m the guy who gets roped into too many things for my own good” I reply. “Oh, I think you cause quite the trouble, unintentionally but I guess Alicorns like that in stallions…and humans” Cadence thinks I’m a chaos maker. “Based on yours and Celestia’s marriage, might need more info on that one when Luna and Twilight marry” I say like I know what I’m talking about. “Hmmm, we’re gonna have to get onto those two at some point, Twily will be extra fun to tease, as well as Luna but not as much” Cadence is plotting in her head already. She definitely has it all planned out, I’ll bet you ten bits. “Didn’t Twilight have her eye on some Pegasus named…Flash Sentry I think?” I ask Cadence. “Uh…about that…see, I was trying to get Twilight to start thinking about love so I may or may not have asked Flash to clumsily knock into Twilight a few times, the best I got was Twilight blushing a few times but it never came anything. Also, I was going to try again but you and Celestia happened so there’s that…” Cadence explained to me. “You’re diabolical you know that?” I grin at her. “I know, but it’s for love. Nothing beats the power of love!” Cadence replies. Is it bad that I remember The Power of Love song from Back to the Future? “Well, I’ll leave you to it” Cadence says as she goes. I talked to many guests, each had their congratulations, though I did ask Twilight how she was allowed to be the pony doing the ceremony and apparently she took a course back in her teenage days when she was going through…that phase. It was almost time for a speech but I noticed one thing, Spike was eyeing a blue mare with white stripes in the mane, I think she was one of Twilight’s old friends from Canterlot. That said, although this was my wedding, I am a bro at heart always, I must help my young drake bro get some, it is my duty as a member of the bro race. “Hey Spike” I say to him from behind, making him jump. “Hey Jason, you scared me there” Spike says clutching his heart. “Sorry but I couldn’t help noticing you staring at that fine mare over there” I explained why I was here. “Fine? Shouldn’t you not be saying that around Celestia?” Spike asked me. “Maybe, but I’ll take the risk to see a brother through. So what’s the deal?” I ask Spike. “Well, she’s one of Twilight’s old friends…and mine and ever since she came back and Rarity rejected me…she looks nicer…” Spike explained to me. “Yes, you may have a crush on dear…what’s her name?” I ask Spike the identity of the mare. “Minuete, although she once had a nickname of Colgate” Spike tells me. “I see, and what are you going to do about her? Because this staring game is getting old” I ask Spike of his plan. “Uh well, she is older and we only ever talked a few times and…” Spike started. Uh oh, he’s going into quitter talk, I SAY SILENCE! Begone from Spike’s mind. “Spike, let me be the one to say this but maybe this is why Rarity didn’t like you romantically, you have no confidence in yourself and you act like a pincushion. But that can all change on one bit of advice…” I tell Spike honestly “What then?” Spike asks me. “Confidence Spike, females no matter the universe, no matter how tough or gentle they are admire confidence, you don’t need a Love Princess to tell you that one. There is something about a confident man/stallion/drake than turns on the fair female and even if you don’t feel confident, just appear to be, once you get to a certain position it won’t matter if you are confident or not, she’ll love you for who you are. Now I see one of two ways, Spike. One: You ask her out and she may say yes or no and if yes, awesome, if no, oh well. Two: You wait to ask her out and you repeat the whole Rarity thing when you could have had more time with Minuete or just let of It if you got rejected. I strongly suggest you take the first one.” I say to Spike “I’ll do it Jason but I’m…nervous” Spike still doesn’t feel confident. “I was nervous around Celestia at first, it takes time. But an old saying my dad used to say “Nothing Starts until YOU take action”, I want you to take action, you are right to be nervous but bravery is doing it anyway despite the nervousness, I was nervous as hell when I went down that isle, if I can do that, you can too Spike, cause I believe, now go! Ask her out! Full confidence and no looking back! If you do, I'll ask Twilight to double your chores.” I say as I get Spike to walk to Minuete (If anything, nopony likes more chores). Spike takes a deep breath and walks over to Minuete, he says some words and she smiled as the pair go to the dance floor, Spike you fucking beauty! Well, that’s my bro duty done, I must go. My wife needs me…I would fly off epically but my wings disappeared. That said, Celestia and I went to the table after 10 minutes and we had to go afterwards for out trip into the Crystal Shores. I ended up having a slice of cake...of so YUMMINESS! Yes that sentence made no sense but it's good damn cake, you shouldn't have to question the describing of it's yummy flavor! Mares and Gentlecolts, may I have your attention please?” Dash says into the microphone. Everypony pays attention to Rainbow Dash now. “Awesome, it is almost time for our pair of awesome lovebirds to go into their honeymoon. But first a few words from yours truly and then I shall hand it over to Princess Luna and then, a goodbye to our couple” Dash says in the microphone. Dash then clears her throat for the most sappiest speech in her life probably. “When I met Jason Anderson, he recently arrived from Earth, his home planet. A confused guy alone in his race. He was a cool guy but the new world was big on him, but then years later, here we are and he is an awesome baker and married to Princess Celestia, need I say more? He’s my best friend, we hang out and we tell each other how things are going and when I heard he was dating Celestia, I couldn’t believe it much less when he asked her to marry him. I guess all of us as friends and family could be said to be one harmonic family as I am saying the most sappy words ever, I just want to say one thing to you Jason, good on you! Let’s hear it for the groom!” Dash says her speech. A thunderous applause rained through the venue, I felt touched. I promise I'll save a good speech for you when you get married Dash! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! Luna went up to the microphone to do her speech to Celestia. “Greetings subjects, as all of thee knows, our sister has finally been married after many years. Our sister has been so much in her life to get to this night, she has bested many monsters, even us as Nightmare Moon, but now she has bested something not quite as a monster but a challenge as well: Love. Sister, you know we art with all the way and we all wish thee the best of wishes into married life, we hope we may follow thy hoofsteps into married life someday as well” Luna said her speech. I remembered what Cadence said, perhaps we really gotta get Twilight and Luna some love, especially Luna, she’s been single forever now! Luna walked down from her speech with the same applause, it was almost time to go. Five Minutes later we were walking out the door, many had cheered as we got in our chariot, I let Celestia go in first as being polite and I followed suit (Ha! Get it, cause I’m wearing a suit? No?). It was off to the Crystal Shores. “Are you ready to leave for the Crystal Shores?” The guard at the front asked. “We are, make it so” Celestia answered. “As you wish, your highness” the guard answered. And we were off! Up into the sky heading north, our chariot was closed in but I did peak out the window to see the Ponyville and Canterlot lights. After a few minutes the take-off feeling had settled and Celestia’s head was on my right shoulder. “You know what Celly? I think Starswirl did good after all with the pair of us, still gonna smash that statue when we get back though” I say to Celestia. “Hmm, he was quite a stallion back in the day, but he did cause quite some chaos, I wouldn’t do it in front of Twilight” Celestia replied, not moving her head. “Yes…well there is one more thing I'd like to share. There is one tradition about a wedding from Earth I remember, when the female marries the male, the female’s last name is changed to the male’s last name. Ponies don’t really have last names but if you were in my world and I guess here in a way, you’d be Celestia Anderson” I say a tradition of Earth that we had. “Interesting, I shall keep the name if you prefer” Celestia says. “Only if you want, this isn’t Earth after all. But in that tradition in the movies, when the husband and wife are dancing or driving off at a wedding, the man looks at his darling wife and say “I love you Mrs. ______” and the wife would reply “I love you too Mr. ______”, a bit cliché but I would like to say it because I’ve always wanted to say it when I got married, so here goes…I love you Mrs. Anderson” I say the one last thing. I didn’t expect Celestia to reply back, after all, it was just a little fun movie cliché I always wanted to say back when I was younger to whomever I’d marry, I’m surprised I remembered it. “It’s quite a weird name I’ve been given but…I love you too Mr. Anderson” Celestia smiles as she leans in. We shared one more kiss after that, you know what I call that kiss? The Everything-is-all-right-now Kiss! And besides… I know for certain, that everything is going to be just fine! THE END! Author's Note And that's the end of the story! I would like to thank Axl Bishop for pre-reading most of the chapter in this story. I would like to thank of all of you lovely and loyal readers for liking, favoriting the story and most of all, those who stuck around since the start. Thank you so much! Over 300 likes on this story has been accumulated on this story...there are some dislikes but honestly, who cares? This is the first story that isn't a one-shot that I've completed and there has been many attempts at the completed story but lack of motivation and such happened. So congratulations, this story gets a gold medal! But for now, until the next story and the sequel...what? Of course there's gonna be one! Did you really think this was going to be just a single story? You don't know me well then, but as I said, until the next story...IN WHICH I WILL CLIFFHANGER YOU ALL TO DEATH, MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! (Runs off like a madman).
The Sequel (Link In the chapter)Well HEEEEERE IT IS, The Sequel after months has arrived. So, click down there when you're ready! (Or do it now because I'm holding you at gunpoint to click it and then I leave you alone) So you are about to be a father with a Sun-Godess
