Bones and Magic

As the sands swirled around them, a cart, loaded with hay, food, a chest, and four beings made its way towards home towards Boneville. The dust clouds swirled through the air. The sun shone brightly in the morning sky. The atmosphere was peaceful and serene...

"REALLY? JUST REALLY?" Came a loud scream.

Well, cancel that.

Phoney Bone slapped his face and let his palm side off, his annoyance clearly visible.

"What now?" Fone Bone said, not turning away from the reins of the cart.

"It's Smiley. He won't shut up his stupid guitar! I told him that I didn't want to hear it from the hours of Nine AM to 6 PM!"

"That's the time you're usually awake, Cuz." Smiley replied, crossing his arms. "I told you I can't do that."

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF…" Phoney said.

"Just be quiet, you two." Fone said chidingly.

"Ah fine!" Phone said, digging through the hay. "I'm getting something to eat!"

"You do that!' Smiley said. "Who wants some music?"

Phoney screamed, though it was muffled by the hay.

"Well, I guess no one's in the mood right now." Smiley said sarcastically. There was then another muffled scream. Fone rolled his eyes and sighed. It had only been two days since they left the Valley, and already there had been FIVE fights between Phoney and Smiley. Fone had learned quickly not to get involved, and to just let it pass. He sighed and turned back to his copy of Moby DIck propped open next to him.

"Say, Fone?" Smiley asked.

"What?" Fone said.

"What's with the thing?"

"What thing?" Fone said. Smiley grabbed Fone's head and pointed it straight ahead.

"THAT thing." He clarified. There was a small, rapidly moving orb straight ahead. It was covered in a white aura. Fone furrowed his brow.

"A Ghost Circle all the way out here?" Smiley asked.

"That's not a Ghost Circle." Fone said.

"What's that about Ghost Circles?" Phoney said, and upon seeing the orb, he frowned.

"Figures." he said.

"Cut it out. Let's go find out what it is, then." Fone said, bringing the cart to a stop. Bartleby the Rat Creature popped his head out of his little den in the back, curious as to what was going on.

"What's up, doc?" He asked.

"It's nothing, Bartleby." Smiley replied.

"If you say so!" he replied, diving back out of sight. Fone walked over and before he could touch the orb, it vanished.

"Heh, nothing to worry about." Smiley said. Then, a large black orb appeared, growing bigger by the minute.

"RUN!" Fone yelled, and they promptly did so. As they made it to the cart, the orb began to envelop them. As they were absorbed, the only thing left was a single strand of hay.

================================================================

Twilight Sparkle was studying some ancient texts Celestia had sent her, when she heard Spike's voice.

"Twi?" We got a problem!"

"What's up?" she asked, coming downstairs. Then she saw a white orb dancing on the Map, with Spike looking at it nonchalantly. She moved to touch it, then it disappeared. Then, a giant black orb formed, and then, all was quiet.

CRASH!!!!!

Twilight and Spike were thrown backwards into the wall, and when they got their vision and their senses back, they gasped. A massive hay cart was lying in the middle of the room, filled to the brim with hay. Three strange cartoonish beings were lying unconscious in various places, and two cows were lying unconscious as well.

"Spike? Mind getting everypony here?" Twilight asked, not looking away from the bizarre scene.

"I would not." he replied, walking out.

"Hello?" Came a hoarse voice.

Twilight then saw a pink animal burrow out of the hay and walk over to her. It had large black eyes with small fangs, and it looked like a bunny and a rat had a very muscular baby. As Twilight stood back in fright, it waved and smiled.

"Hello!' It said again.

"Hi?" Twilight replied.

"Oh, hey. Name's Bartleby." Bartleby said, standing next to her. "Sorry to DROP IN like that."

"I guess it's fine, but what are you?"

"I'm a rat creature, and before you ask, I'm exactly what it sounds like." Bartleby replied proudly.

"Okay…." Tiwlight said. "What about the others?"

Bartleby scratched his chin, and then a lightbulb appeared over his head.

"Oh, you mean Fone, Phoney, and Smiley Bone! I'm their somewhat sentient pet, confidant, et cetera." he said proudly.

"Okay, are they hurt?" Twilight asked.

"Ah, they'll be fine. They've taken worse than that before. It's a rather long and very interesting story, from what I've heard."

"Alright then." Twilight said, still not sure of what was going on. "Should we get them to a hospital then?"

"I guess." Bartleby said, grabbing all three of the Bone Cousins under both of his arms, and he walked out with Twilight, towards the hospital. As they walked, most of the townsponies looked on in fright or awe at Bartleby, who was smiling like he didn't have a care in the world. When they entered the hospital, Twilight handled getting the rooms, and Bartleby just smiled and waved

"This way." Redheart said, leading them to a room, furnished with three beds. Setting each of the Bones down on one, Bartleby smiled and perched himself on Smiley's bed.

"Mind telling me that story now?" Twilight asked.

"Sure, It'll take a while though. Also, do you have any heavy, blunt objects?" Bartleby said.

"Why?" Twilight asked.

"You'll need one. TRUST ME." Bartleby said. "When they wake up, trust me, it'll be a riot."

"Okay, like what?"

"How 'bout a lead pipe?" came Pinkie's voice as the five of them walked in.

"Perfect!" Bartleby said, accepting the pipe. "Let's get storytelling!"