Author's Note

Dear Haters,

You think that you can bully me? I've been bullied for liking Naruto before and I won't be bullied again. I have been personally attacked, for my amazing series, but that's not going to deter me. I will continue to meme, on the haters and not take them cerals much.

Saying that I have also taken on some critiscism of my work. Some saying, it's too egotistical and 'why did you self insert, in a story about self insert?'

1: If any of you ponies think that Siege Fire is a self insert then you've obviously never read true fiction. He is my original character who is sometimes a girl and sometimes a boy. And sometimes neither.

2: It's too egotistical? My forehead is natural sized, I'll have you know. I'm just really smart. You should respect me, I could have been in the Military for all you know! You could be disrpespecting a future US ARMY SOLDIER!

3: If you like my story, congrats. Smash that like button and stay in tune, I am in the process of creating a patreon.

Love to all ^^

Chapter X - A New Space Hope

Chapter X – The Confession

My breath, the touch her body… the taste of her mouth. She was my muse, she was my golden mare. She was my muscle museum, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Sitting in my office next to my typewriter, I chewed on my pencil and adjusted my beret. Taking a sip of my wine, I looked up at the ceiling and admired the white criss-crosses of the roof’s design.

“Caramel, vanilla, a hint of chicken and possibly even soy,” this wine was terrible and I opted to never get it again, pouring it into a plant nearby which promptly withered and died, a fine metaphor for my successful writer’s block.

It was hard being loved and adored by 5 billion fans across Equestria. I knew that I was going to have to shoulder this burden of highly esteemed and critically acclaimed, multiple award winning and feature length film pending literature for the rest of my life. It was a heavy task, that I held to my breast with prideful glee.

It had been 9 years since the war, the war in my soul. I’d finally found a place not only where I was accepted as a pony, but also where I was seen as a God of fiction. I’d written 69 novels over the past 5 years and every one of them, were a masterpiece of their own making.

I could write any genre, anytime, anywhere. I was the best, I was the best in the west! Glory to the Siege Fire Empire! I would unite this world, that already was bound with harmony, with the marvels of my words. From my critically acclaimed Superhero Avenger Shrek series, to my Y-Men: the New Chromosome Saga… I was the shit.

I am humble, but I am also very smart. I know that there’s more to life than fast carts, and fast mares. Knowledge, that was the real path to success. I have 5 bookshelves, filled to the brim with 5 books, all of them mine, and I’m ordering more bookshelves, for my next five books.

It’s not my fault that each of my books are such an epic. If I didn’t keep the masses fed, they would surely start to starve? The mind… needed to be fed as much as the body. I was the creator of an entire industry of nom noms for the brain brain, as the uncultured called it.

But now back to my humbleness. It wasn’t easy going from soldier to critically acclaimed, 5-star award winning author. Then again, it wasn’t easy being a Military Brony in Equestria ©, but in my own humble opinion I am great.

Not even Twilight, or A.K Yearling or even Pepe had gotten this far in a business that I had mastered in 5 hours of getting to Equestria and meeting Fluttershy, or was it Applejack? Probably Pinkie, or the Zeeb from the outskirts.

Still this cursed writer’s block filled me with anger and resentment for my own genius. Alas, this wine, curse it… curse it all. I should have read the expiration date, but alas I couldn’t read. I *DIDN’T*have time, to read, I should reiterate. I am a writer, and I have no time to read anyone else’s below par, cloptrop.

I was the author who wrote 50 Shades of Hay, who wrote Twilight Dat Moon. Someone asked me once if I had a proof reader, they’re now harvesting cherries, down in Appleoosa.

I spent my formative years in a barn, so really it was amazing that I’d even learnt to write. But I did.

There was a knock on my door, the stallion and part-time lover Rainbow Blitz coming through the door with a space helmet and winking at me, seductively, though I couldn’t see it through the space helmet.

I knew what she was after… the publisher was worried that I hadn’t written a word in the last 5 minutes. I needed inspiration and the regime needed legitimacy. A space race it was then! I would be the first pony to touch the surface of Luna’s Moon.

Besides Luna herself, and Celestia… and a few other pones but trust me they’re out there in their unitrees.

Taking the helmet from Blitz, I tried to kiss him, only to realize there was some plexiglass between myself and that gorgeous muzzle. Blitz hadn’t acknowledged that he was gay, but I knew that from the moment I met him when I first came to Equestria. Rainbow was the first pony I’d met in Equestria, I loved him like I loved the son I never had, and probably never would… sexually. All because I am gay and married to Blitz.

I contented with a nuzzle as I suited up. I’d written so much Sci-Fi that I was already learned enough to go to the Mun. Some would say I was selfish, considering I was taking the first step towards an Interstellar future. That the credit should go to the scientists, or real astro ponies.

The truth was, I was the best pony for the job, in my own humble opinion. I’d been through a lot of careers over the years, and expressed many fears to some deers. The truth was that I was scared, inside. Scared for Blitz, for the world and for Equestria.

The truth was, Sonichu was out there. He needed to be stopped, before he could kill again. Defeating Chris had been hard. I didn’t want to end him, but he threatened to write another issue. As ponies know, Chris held a special power.

He could bring his creation to life through his art. Whilst I offered him to use this power for good, (to bring my own creations characters to life) he used it instead to bring his accursed series to life. I knew he was playing around with the Polymerization card of Yu, and that it was forbade by the 4th Hokage in the 7th dynasty, yet still, he fused two dead memes together and created The Sonichu.

This was the worst fusion since Full Metal Alchemist, the laws of equivalent exchange needed to be fulfilled. I had to destroy the Sonichu and bring balance to the force.

Stepping through the Atlantis Star Portal, I climbed into my Millennium flacon, admiring the scent of juniper berries on the wind as I tasted the Rainbow one last time. “You know you can’t come with me, right?” I smiled down at him, knowing that despite the lack of words, tears were flowing inside that helmet.

“You need to find another, a better stallion… I know its impossible in my own humble opinion, but you must try… for me.” It wasn’t easy for me to say these things, but I knew, that Blitz would live… and that was all that mattered.

I kissed him on his helmet and pushed him away, climbing back into the Ebon Hawk as the ship began to take off. I had built an AI, to fly the ship and that’s why it was flying itself I HAVE NOT WRITTEN MYSELF INTO ANY CORNER I AM A GOOD WRITER EXCLAMATION MARK

Flying through the sky, bigger than a pizza pie, the Ebon Hawk was my stallion, and I was its stallion. We were inseparable. Pulling my lightsabré I checked it, to ensure it was battle ready. I had started this journey as a writer, but now I would finish it as a soldier.

In my humble and truthful opinion, I was going, where no stallion had gone before. I was above everything, more so than when I was but a humble writer on Equestria. I wondered if I should return whilst I still had the chance, but turned away. If Sonichu had his way, the entire multi-verse would be destroyed and Bernie would never have a chance of winning.

Sonichu was a force of nature, he was a menace, he was a Dennis the menace and I needed to ensure that not only his body would die, but his infinity stone was crushed, like my heart, when Blitz left me.

Entering the fifth ring of Jupiter Ascendant at 23 degrees west, I geared myself to enter the minefields of Moria. The mines were planted in the great Sweetie Bot crisis of 1939.5. Avoiding them was difficult, but in my humble opinion I dodged them all with flying colors, making this paragraph redundant.

However, Sonichu struck before I could set a new course for his home-world. The Aliens he’d got onboard with his promise of finding a boyfriend free girl for every alien and uniting the warring races had turned them into mindless machines of destruction.

Their glowing red eyes and chrome, flame imprinted bodies were meant to intimidate me. It was a bit cold in space anyway, so it made me feel warm.

I took evasive action and started dodging every termination alien I could, but they were too fast and coming in waves. The ship was down to 10% shields when I felt Rainbow strap herself in, taking my stick and using it to steer us both in the right direction. It was hard going, and I didn’t think I’d make it, but naturally his talent of loyalty and the ability to curve his hoof around phallic objects steered him true.

We crashed, I don’t know when, I don’t know why… I didn’t know anything anymore, no matter how hard I tried. Rainbow had two iron girders in his stomach… the blood flowing across the floor. I pulled Blitz’s helmet off and cupped his cheek, tears in my eyes, dripping down my muzzle and dehydrating me in the process as I stared at my dying love.

Pulling a photo, Blitz showed it to me. It was him, in the hospital, cradling a My Little Pony plush that looked like it had my eyes. “There… is… another…” he moaned, almost sensually but not quite because he was in a lot of pain, dying with one final kiss. I let go of my love, Rainbow always in my heart as I left the ship to face my destiny.

Sonichu would not get away with this. I had not passed through fire and brimstone just to give up now! It had taken me 89 novels, to acknowledge that I was the best pony for the job. This was not a test, this was not a fitness gram pacer test. This was a real life, and I was not going to let it go.

I couldn’t hold it back anymore, I would die today, but I wouldn’t die alone… Blitz had already died, but her memory would live on somewhere, out there… under a pale moonlight…

Sonichu was waiting for me, the fields of blossoms blowing in the divine wind as I levelled my samurai sword at him. He smirked and pulled a pistol, my eyes widening as he shot me without a word in the arm, pulling his sabre, he seemed to want to fight… dirty.

Powering up my lightsabre I levelled my samurai sword at his head and spoke cooly “Blitz would want me to give this to you!” before attacking. Sonichu’s defence was good, but mine, in my own humble opinion, was better. I’d trained on Fruit Ninja in the mid-2010s, after the Brony War of Alicorn Twilight. I knew what I was doing.

Many had fallen to Sonichu, but not me. I was going to beat him. I attacked good, and he defended less good and it ended up with us on a cliff in space, Sonichu hanging on with his white-gloved hand for dear life.

“BROTHER… HELP ME!” he cried as I looked over the cliff’s edge to the space below. It was true… Chris had given birth to me, after he married Amie-san and impregnated himself, I became.

Sonichu was next, a year younger, he had always the jealous brother. Always better than me, always wishing he was player 1 when I was not even playing the game. He was butter, I was margarine, I was healthier, he had crippling depression, just like me.

Reaching down, I grasped his hand, but Blitz’s face, his loyal, stupid face flashed in front of my eyes, like that stranger in the park that one time who made me forget stuff.

“I love you brother of mine…” I said, preparing to drop him into the abyss as he shouted “I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!” falling of his own volition to his death in the abyss below. Trapping him in the comic realm. I was hard, but I did it. In my own humble and truthful opinion. Despite Rainbow dying, this was a successful mission.

But then her own words rang in my head like a microwave after my hot pocket was done.

“There is another- another- another- another.”

I looked up to the space sky of the space atmosphere and there was… space hope.

A star twinkled, and I knew… Rainbow was watching over me…

Chris was alive.