It was raining.

It was always raining in these things. Whenever there was a massacre or you'd lost your son to a killer with some paper skills and a trench coat. It felt like a Saturday night on the strip in mid-winter. At least, that's how I thought it would feel. Was I even American? Maybe I was a Swede? Maybe I liked meatballs, or maybe I was just a nomad. Traveling a lonely road. The only one that I had ever known.

Maybe my perception of reality, or at least the reality I thought I was clawing my way back to was entirely falsified. Maybe communism won? I liked to think it did. Or maybe there was no political spectrum? Maybe there was no humanity really? Just layers within layers of the onion to unpeel.

I shook my head in disgust. Now was not the time to descend back into the madness that was in my mind. I was back in the world I had committed such hateful crimes. My feet had never been so comfortable. My hooves felt right, protected from the damp soil by slippers.

Looking down in horror at the peeled and repurposed scaled skin of a little purple dragon I winced and kicked them off one by one, an eyeball rolling out of the one that had been on my back hoof. "Fuck..."

I sank to my haunches and felt tears well in my eyes. They were all imaginary. The ponies that was, but I'd felt such joy in killing them at the time. A release like no other. One that was not sexual or fulfilling in any way, a primal urge. Violence for the sake of violence. To inflict the most morally reprehensible acts upon people. Something that took their lives, their form and their dignity. Made them nothing. Something I have reveled in at the time in this world.

Nopony had been able to stop me from killing the Apples. I knew faux filly fiddling I'd done was bad, but in comparison, I looked like Mother Theresa when it came to this... though actually, Mother Theresa was apparently not as #blessed as they said she was. I had created a world once more where I was King, and I had used this power as I had before to dominate and control. In reality, I probably had no control over my life. This was an outlet. A murderous, raging outlet. A sandbox for my anger and frustration at how helpless I was.

This crazy train was at the station, and brother it was time to leave, one-way ticket outta town, midnight express. I looked around at the sodden fields around me. At the Spike Gucci. I couldn't justify here like I couldn't justify with Scoots. I knew why I'd done it. Frustration at my lack of control. Made manifest to complete control and murderous domination.

Taking Twilight's horn from my pocket, the horn I'd sawn from her skull hours prior I looked at the sharp tip, swallowing before ramming the edge into my gullet. Blood sprayed profusely as I gored a hole in my own neck, gurgling and spluttering as I tasted the metallic plasma. It was horror. All horror.

Emerging from the swamp near the pit was Harry, his muzzle coated in green and brown paint. His eyes were red and wide with complete loss as he stalked towards me. Had he been there originally? Was he waiting for my death? Did he even want to stop me now?

Harry stood over me, wordless for a change. Our eyes and minds connected. We had more of a conversation in that death glare than we'd had over the past millenia of trapped time and fake memories.

"Horror," he murmured before stamping his hoof into my skull, my brain splattering into the mud and my eyes popping out of my head, only to be mushed into a fine thin, watery paste.

Waking up with a worse head than before was truly a miraculous endeavor. Yet my past self had seemed to manage it, considering my brains were mashed potato and now I was completely hammered, in the streets of Ponyville, my cubano still lit, lying next to me where I woke up.

Smoking was bad for your health, but in terms of sins of the past few realms, I wasn't going to count this one. Sucking on the juicy fat cancer rod for all it was worth. Did Equestria have such a thing as fat cubanos? If not I definetely didn't want to live here anymore. Saying that, with such an intense inhale I began to hack my lungs up, feeling alocholic bile rise in my throat.

Funnily enough it didn't sting as much as the bile of the past several figments of my imagination. Particularly the Scoots realm. Indeed my entire personality seemed to be bile. Though If I was able to realize that, then maybe there was some hope. I just had to keep pushing forwards. And that required another death, so I got looking for a gate to trap my neck in, or perhaps a pair of garden shears sompony had left out. So long as it ended this existence quickly I was okay with it.

"Psst. Hey, Siege Fire, you got the shit?" Pinky asked her voice a surprise, considering I'd really gone off from the Mane-6 after around this time. Even Rainbow featured less and less as my rampage of self godlihood increased. Diverging from the mane characters of a show made in 2010 hadn't been my plan. Then again, there was no plan. It was more a set of desires and fantasies and frustration that I was coming to terms with now.

I understood that all now. I just had to get out. I wanted desperately to see if this was real or not. I couldn't remember anything about my human life. Not Steven's life but the real me. Was I over 6ft? Was I a sigma or a beta? Even now these thoughts I knew were toxic, which probably didn't bode well for the real me.

"Pinkie fuck off. I shouldn't have covered for you with that Happy Dust. Drugs are bad M'kay. I've watched a ton of cartoons and they've all told me, that drugs are nooo good." I had a faint recollection of a man in a grey suit with a red bow tie holding up a cylinder of crack, but then it was gone again from my memory. My real memory.

"Fuck if I know what real is anymore," I said aloud.

Tell me about it.

Pinkie's mane seemed to droop with sadness, hearing my words. "You... you said a swear. That's not pog, champ." She sniffled, looking like she was going to cry. I had to remember I was dealing with a bunch of children's cartoons. Heck, the fact I was myself currently manifested as a cartoon was fucky enough. But now, this was taking the cake. The pound cake.

I sighed and wondered if I could convince Pinky to kill me. Then again that would just be enforcing that negative crazy-ass stereotype that she was a sociopath read to snap at a moment's notice and shove glass into various parts of her genitals. I might have messed up, but I got these ideas from someone else. I was in no way original in anything that I'd dreamed up. I had to digress I was probably a terrible creative.

I snapped my hoof together and realized "Yo, Pinkie. Still have the Party Cannon baby darling?" I looked at her like a plan was coming together, but she just looked like a junkie scorned. "Come on, I'm sorry about the swear. But if you fire me out of your party cannon aimed at 90 degrees then I'll give your precious cranium a real buzz by upgrading you to Meth."

The droop in her mane went rock hard at the mention of a better high. "OH BOY! YESYESYESYAAAASYESYESYES!!!!!" she screeched, bouncing around at the prospect of becoming a new pharmaceutical test subject. No bleeding heart liberals were going to get in her way.

I was conscious that Harry was still around most likely. Probably hiding under a plant pot with some chloroform. I'd wasted enough life in this place, if he got me at this point, I doubted he'd make a mistake. It was a race for my life, and ironically that meant I needed to die as quickly as I could. I had to get out of this place, if it's the last thing I ever did.

Pinkie wheeled in the cannon from thin air and grinned at me. "SO ya gonna give me this M e t h now or after?"

"After Pinkie, promise." I smiled weakly. I was deceiving her, but I wasn't going to feel bad about not following through on a drug deal with a figment of my fucked imagination.

I climbed into the cannon, and to my surprise, or possibly lack of surprise I could smell the cocaine that had been smuggled into it. The trace amount obviously had gone up Pinkie's nose, but the trace amount certainly made me feel alive. My manhood grew, signifying confidence.

The cannon rotated on its axle and pointed upwards. I could see Luna's moon, my head still in a daze from the alcohol and now trace coke in my system. "Ready there Siegey?"

"I always wanted to see the stars," I murmured, before announcing "Hit it baby darling."

I felt the *POMF* as the cannon shot me skyward. I got about 50ft of air, really impressive considering the low amount of explosive used in it. Thankfully, I knew to aim my head for the ground. The last thing I wanted was a repeat of that fucking ladder. That had been an agonizing 2 weeks. It had felt like 6 weeks, to be honest as the grafted metal to my bones, and re-routed systems were crushed by the ladder and Harry's bitch pudding ass.

Harry hadn't shown his face this time. I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not, but when I felt my neck connect with the ground, I knew that it was thankfully over. I had successfully killed myself yet again.

Only four more times and I would be free.

Will you though? Will you ever be free? Is there any coming back from the madness? There is no method to it Alice.

"Shut the fuck up you dumb bitch. I know what I have to do, just let me figure it out on my own. I can fix myself, I'm a big boy. At least... I hope I am. Hell maybe I'm a girl? Or maybe I'm a dream inside a dream. Either way, I'm tired of these little self-talks. I would prefer you keep your muzzle out of my fucking crazy hallucination. GOT IT!?"

I was screaming into my own head. but as the darkness dissipated I knew that I was once again right. I didn't need to know anymore. I had faced the worst of it. Now I was on a smooth track back to reality.

At least... that was what I thought...

Waking up on a cloud there was a flash of the Judo-Christian notion of heaven before I threw away those strange thoughts. What a bizarre dream.

Man I'd drank a little too much cider the other day at that Apple Frack's farm. Must have really clouded my mind. Good thing I was so cool, hanging up here in the clouds whilst all the other jabronys. I snorted and cleared my throat, arching my back and stretching my wings. Wings of solid iron. My wings of redemption.

"Frick, this is a good afternoon for some HARDCORE FLYING," I grinned, waving my metal as-heck Rainbow mane about before zipping into the sky so fast that the sound barrier had to file a speeding complaint.

I'm so awesome. Literally the fastest thing alive. The fastest thing alive. The fastest thing alliiiiiveeee!

I was on top of the world. Literally. Hovering comfortably at around 40,000 feet. I had a pretty good view of Equestria, Yak-Yakistan, The Crystal Empire, The glorious Socialist Soviet Republic of the Town, and the Gryphon Kingdom's, recently celebrating the coronation of their new King and his thick talons.

How stupid everyone was down below. Reading. Talking about 'politics' and about gems this and gems that. What you needed was some fast fliers, a crack team of butt-kicking fighters and even some mud ponies that could maybe hold the spears.,

I let off a sonic rain-boom. It was a cracker. The sky exploded with rainbow jizzle and glitter as I shot another 80,000ft into the air. Speaking of air, it was getting rather thin now, but that wasn't going to stop me. I was 150% genetically difference baby.

Hell maybe now was the time to show everyone just how awesome I truly was. How inspiring and fiery. How beautiful and yet humble at the same time. Not to say nothing about the gifts I was porn with. Namely these wings of fire. These hooves of steel, this brain of braun and this flank or thicness.

I was a total package, and I had to thank my friends for truly helping me acknowledge just how awesome I was.

I rose into the air, feeling as icicles froze on my fur. Double Rainbooms were for wimps. Today was the day that a Triple-Rainboom blew every little foal's eardrum and blinded the fillies and colts. Reaching 32999.83ft high I was now holding my breath. Of course, I could hold my breath for a record-setting 22 minutes, and not only could I hold it the longest, but the fastest.

Now I dove down, my wings extending their flaps for everyone to see and my ailerons matching the wind forces as I banked from side to side. If I'd had a speedometer It would have killed itself from stress. It just couldn't keep up with me. The only thing that could withstand such force was my bro. Tank. Whom I loved so much. Precious Tank, I would do this for him. Well 1% for him but 99% for me, the Boomer.

I felt as a single Rainboom rocked my socks. Another following and I wasn't even halfway down. I felt like I could pull off and do a double Rainboom now and call it a day, but there was no quitting now baby. I was in it to win it. I had to pay if I wanted to play and as I dropped ft in the 10,000 margin I realised I was going to run out of air.

Screw it, I'll go through the planet. It'll be fine.

With newfound confidence to aim for the bushes, I extended my hooves as far as I could and really turned on the gas. I felt as my flesh started to melt away, my hair burning into cinders and my speed resistant feathers were charring. It was now or never!

Smashing into the ground with 2.30 x 10 to the power of 32 joules worth of energy. The ground didn't crack, more it melted into plasma as it pierced the crust of the planet and smashed into the molten lava gooey core.

Ponyvilled being so close to the epicenter of the destruction was instantly evaporated. Engulfed by the blast fire of Rainboom radiation. The only solace is that most of them earned a quick and painless death. With the exception of Tank, whom unfortunately had a shell containing iron which resisted the fire only to cook him alive very slowly over a course of 5 minutes.

Canterlot was in the distance, but the mount side fractured on its tectonic as the whole plate was raised upwards from Rainbow's momentum, making the old mountain an active volcano as it exploded. The Princesses did nothing as usual to save their citizens and indeed instead they sent a note to Twilight for assistance. Though they only got as far as 'Dear' before a large chunk of boulder squashed the palace.

Twilight was however not in Ponyville, but visiting her brother/friend with benefits. The resulting explosion formed a mega Rainbow mushroom cloud and when the shock wave hit she was, unfortunately, standing in front of a large pane glass window. The resulting shards eviscerated her body so much that it was hard to tell where each part of Twilight began. Unfortunately equally she was holding her baby darling niece Flurryheart, who unfortunately became Mcflurryheart at the same time Twilight lost her sense of full body.

The whole world began to burn, plates shifting and mega-volcanos erupting, the world descending into an ash pile. Survivors would eke out a living for a few years before all the food ran out, a Rainboom winter descended on the lands and life ceased to exist.

Rainbow floated absently in low-Equestrian orbit, watching what her handiwork had caused. She let a small tear fall that instantly froze. The only reason she hadn't frozen is that she was already too cool.

"Siegefire... wherever you are... I'm sorry."

She looked back at the destroyed world. She had done that. A single pony with the power and speed of a God. A world killer. A planet cracker. She was probably the greatest pony. She licked her lips to speak, saliva sizzling in the zero-G.

"Worth."

Author's Note

This was a really hard chapter to write. I had held Rainbow up to such a high standard in my mind, but in reality, like Steven, I've come to realize that you shouldn't base a cult of personality around a fictional character.

I'm starting to think maybe waifus aren't healthy, even though months ago I would have called someone out for slander like that.

On another note, I actually met a decent girl at Walmart the other day. I was watching My Hero Academia on my phone in the corner of the break room. She's like temping but she came over and said hi and now we're going out. It's really nice to be able to talk in real life to someone. I think maybe I should have tried to make IRL friends before. Anyway. I'll save the details for a blog.

Anyway hope you're all well. Thank you for reading.

Haters you can say what you like, but this story IS still my greatest achievement. In a way, I think it's helping much more to write it these days.

Ciao for now everpony