Author's Note

This is the last completely comedic chapter for a while. The next chapters will be semi-serious and serious. So buckle your boots. Because... reasons.

Also we couldn't find NyxKnight so Styx is a bit in the background. Sorry about that.

Chapter 8: The Way The Sun Burns

“I really hate you right now.” Styx said to Discord.

Lucas was very far away from him and using Yubel as a meatshield, “I am never letting you drink again! You actually made politics make sense. And that’s not the only thing! You stole all the bits from the treasury and threw it into the ocean… I think we might be going through another Blackbeard phase very soon.”

“Oh come on it that wasn’t that bad.” Discord said with a smile.

“No, it was worse.” Yubel deadpanned.

“YOU MADE POLITICS MAKE SENSE!” Lucas screamed in rage. He was frothing at the mouth.

“Yeah so?” Discord said with a casual tone.

Lucas suddenly became very calm, “Politics are supposed to be tools for dictators and politicians to manipulate populations. Not be fair.”

“No Politics are are supposed to be understood so we all know how much of jerks we really are.” Discord stated.

“Can you please stop using me as a shield?” Yubel asked.

Lucas calmly walked around Yubel and Discord and up to about thirty feet from Celestia’s throne before he calmly put his assault rifle in his left hand and his pistol in his right. “ARGH!!!”

Two minutes of wasting ammunition and screaming later…

“-GHHHH!” Lucas finally stopped firing his weapons. He was breathing very heavily. Celestia’s throne was completely ruined.

“You done?” Yubel asked, Discord gave a snap as Celestia Throne was remade. He really didn't want to deal with a angry Celestia right now.

“Hey do you guys see that?” Everyone looked at where Lucas was pointing to see that he was literally standing on a mountain of assault rifle magazines. “I’m not cleaning this up.”

Yubel looked at Discord. “You do it please?” She asked with a wink. Discord sighed and taking the mags eat them all.

“Well, at least she still has her throne.” Styx said.

“Uh… I don’t think a throne is going to help an empty treasury.” Lucas said in a mocking voice.

“Are you sure?” Discord asked, “Look again.”

Lucas looked at the throne. He then turned his gaze back to Discord blankly, “Yeah, I don’t exactly see any difference.”

“Say awww.” Discord had a devious smirk. Lucas did and started to puke up bits. Discord laughed at him. Lucas then decided that he had had enough of Discord’s shit. He was still holding his weapons but he didn’t need them. He walked calmly over to Discord. Before Discord could do anything he spat out a bit which hit Discord square in the eye painfully. He kept throwing up more bits on Discord to get him to relent.

Yubel giggled as her ex-boyfriend get covered in bits. After a while Lucas stopped puking and a snap the bits went to the vault with Discord glaring at him. “Anything else?”

“You have no idea how much you have just fucked up…” Lucas said to Discord. He knew what Styx’s reactions to money where. He looked around the room and Styx was already gone. “Yep… He’s gone.” An explosion and screams were heard in the distance, reinforcing his point. “And… I ain’t touching that with a ten foot pole.” The sound of crazed laughter and clanking of coins was heard a few seconds later.

“Not it.” Yubel and Discord said at the same time.

“Like I said. No.” Lucas backed away from the entrance to the throne room. “That is so many levels of Nope.”

“Mom Styx is going on a rampage.” Chrysalis said as she entered the room.

“Are his eyes red?” Lucas asked. “If his eyes are red stay the fuck away from him.”

“No, he seems to be drunk.” Chrysalis stated, “Like really drunk.”

“What is he doing? Besides… You know… getting drunk off money.”

Pinkie Pie snapped awake and started coughing awkwardly, “Did you say getting drunk off money? That’s stupid.” She jumped through the ceiling and disappeared.

“Looks like you have some competitions as the local reality warper.” Yubel said with a smile at Discord.

Lucas looked out a window suddenly. Right as he looked, he saw Styx carrying sacks of bits and running away. “So should you stop him before Celestia burns him alive or should I?” Discord asked, “Or should I make popcorn?”

“I don’t think he is very flammable. Let’s get some popcorn.” Lucas said. “I can also just teleport him away if she tries to kill him too much...nah.”

“Pretty sure she would use Solar Plasma on him.” Yubel stated, “Also lets get a drink for it.”

“Not near a populated area she wouldn’t though. I remember in class they told me that solar flares were at least 3.6 million to 24 million degrees hot. If she used plasma…” Lucas shuddered. “Wait no, that is around five thousand to 24 million degrees. Well if Celestia burns the whole world alive I’m haunting her from the grave. Hey do you have the popcorn yet?” He asked Discord with narrowed eyes.

“I do and, believe it or not she has done that once… where did you think the badlands came to be?” Discord said handing him the popcorn.

Lucas facepalmed, “What an amateur.” as he grabbed the popcorn.

“Actually it took a lot of control, Luna true power more terrifying.” Discord stated offering him candy.

“No. I mean she didn’t even fix the fucking place.” Lucas corrected as he accepted the candy.

“It's Kinda hard to fix a place that’s been sterilized and in the middle of a deserted area.”

“Actually It’s a perfect place for the Changelings, the unique ores are worth fortunes.” Yubel pointed out. Finally Styx got blasted by a pissed off Celestia.

“Five hundred says Celestia knocks him out.” Discord betted.

“I bet her destroyed treasury that she accidentally destroyed her treasury while she tried to kill him. Get it? Because it is already destroyed!” Lucas pointed to the melted sacks of bits near Styx. He sighed, “This is why you never tempt a goblin with treasure. At least he is knocked out. You guys really need a better vault.”

“Well there is the Elements Vault, I only bypass it because of dimensional travel, though I heard Twilight was going to make a pocket dimension for the treasury in the future.” Discord stated.

“One second please.” Lucas said before a pained scream was heard as the unconscious form of Styx clattered to the marble floor. “You were saying?”

“Well I was saying about Twilight’s new idea for using a pocket dimension for a vault.” Celestia appeared looking angered and a bit bruised. “But you now owe me five hundred bits.”

“Oh hello.” Lucas said as he waved carelessly to Celestia. “No refunds.” Everyone heard from Styx’s unconscious form. “Okay…”

“I do not have time for this, I have a war going on!”

“Okay. I may be a soldier. I may even love destroying stuff. Hell I may even love patriotism but do NOT think for one sec that you are going to lure me into y… Screw it sign me up.” Lucas suddenly said.

Celestia was stunned but she didn’t show it. “Alright then.”

“Well seeing how I already started a fight me and the Changelings will help as well.” Yubel stated.

“Oh and before you even think about sending me into the frontlines like one of your chess pieces. I am a Shadow Marshall… An assassin of sorts… Send me into areas teeming with hostiles? No problem. I’ll either neutralize them all or avoid them and take out the HVT.” He smirked at her stunned reaction.

“Then it’s best you work with my Changelings.” Chrysalis said, “Our race has gotten good at stealth, spying, and subterfuge.

“I work alone.” Lucas’s head started fading into the background, the same with the rest of his body until he was completely invisible.

“Cool let me try that.” Discord then with a eraser wiped away his color until he was invisable.

“Don’t you dare Discord.” Yubel said knowing what he would do.

Lucas immediately looked up and saw a suitable place to stick to the ceiling. When everyone was paying attention to Discord he rappelled up and stuck to the ceiling uncomfortably.

“So then when are we going to head for the Crystal Empire get the heart, make Cadance a Princess and defeat the enemies?” Discord asked as he looked at the writers.