It's Tricky

Scootaloo leaned back her chair and sighed, pleased by the sight of the lounge’s rustic interior. The space between the ground floor and the ceiling was vast, to make room for the many mounted objects on the walls. Most of the wall decorations included extravagantly designed skis and snowboards, along with a few plated shields and plaques. There were also hand-stitched blankets instead of curtains, and the smell of smoked wood permeated the air, the source being the fireplace.

Diamond Tiara took a sip from her mocha. She was pleasantly surprised to see that the staff had tended to her order perfectly; there was a perfect balance of light and dark sprinkles, there were no folds or crinkles in the whipped cream, her straw was of the edible sort, and the flavor was consistent from the surface of the liquid to the bottom of the mug, which boasted a picture of Daring Do’s one-time reindeer sidekick Holly Hooves. It was absolutely perfect in every sense of the word.

She looked over at Scootaloo, who was taking a sip from her plain, plebian, standard blend coffee. “Hey, here’s a joke,” Scootaloo said. “How do you make a latte?”

Diamond Tiara lapped up the last of her whipped cream and traced the edge of her mug with her finger. “Add thirty bits to a cup of joe,” she said.

Scootaloo made a rimshot sound with her mouth, causing Diamond Tiara, as well as the other ponies sitting around the fireplace, cackle in sensible laughter.

An elderly mare sitting a bit closer to the fireplace, knitting a sweater as she listened in, spoke up when the laughs died down. “So, we know everything about your wonderfully nice model friend, but what about you?” she asked Scootaloo.

“Oh, you want a tale of my endeavors and feats?” Scootaloo replied. She seemed to be absorbing the attentions of everypony around the fireplace like it was a source of almighty power.

A muscular unicorn in a waiter’s suit leaned over the back of the armchair. “Well, shit, one or the other.”

“Ah-ah, language!” Scootaloo motioned towards Tiara. “We have ladies present.”

Diamond Tiara stuck her tongue out. “Boite me ya git, I’ll tussle ya roite good, I sware on me mum!” she cursed in a Scoltish accent.

“I’d swear on your mom…” Scootaloo snickered and took another sip of her coffee, and stood up to address the eagerly listening crowd. “Okay, dig this. I’ve just boozed myself to an inch from death, deep in the steel jungles of Manehatten, when outta the blue swoops in this stunning mare, tan-bronze coat, monochromatic mane flowing on the breeze, and I’m in love.” She pauses for effect. “Well, the alcohol’s in love, at least, but anyways! It was the famous Daring Do! She never comes to the Big Orange unless she’s doing something interesting! So, I follow her around a bit, and somehow sober up enough to help her kick flank when some goons try to gank her in an alley by the museum.”

“Didja die?” Diamond Tiara sarcastically asked.

“Yup, I’m a ghost. Dead as a shoenail, I am! But anyways, we duke it out, and send those fools packing. The big Double D recognizes me from one of my performances out near the Badlands, and recruits me for a job she’s on. She brings me on as a second pair of eyes while she collects an ancient tablet from a greedier treasure hunter. Dude pulls a harpoon gun on us, and I’m all like ‘Bruh.’”

Scootaloo’s audience leaned forward, their mouths simultaneously agape, except for the elderly mare. Her smile had changed into a motherly grin.

“So what do I do next, you ask?”

“Nopony asked. Go on,” Diamond Tiara snarked.

“I grab the manhole he was using as a shield right from under his smug face and use it as a luge. Suddenly we’re going down 20th at thirty degrees with sparks flying and punks coming from all directions. I’m steering the manhole while Daring Do has her legs spread over me. Not conventional, but hey, someone had to give directions. So next thing I know, the trolley comes out on the intersection, we’re surrounded on all sides, aaaaand…” Scootaloo had her hands up in the air as she trails off.

Diamond Tiara was gripping her mug abnormally tight, but she loosened her grip the moment she realized it.

“Well? We’re waiting?” the waiter asked.

Scootaloo returned to a standing position and bowed. “Find out in Daring Do’s twenty-second book, The Mad Mare of Manehattan!”

The entire crowd clapped and groaned simultaneously, returning from the edges of their seats. The elderly one’s applause was much more subdued. “Truly a magnificent tale, dearest.”

“Thank you kindly, Madam…” Scootaloo looked at the letters being stitched into the sweater. “Rocket Rider. I’ll get you an autographed copy of the book.”

“With the action figure included. I love those doohickeys.”

“Daring Do-hickeys…” Diamond Tiara muttered, much to Scootaloo’s amusement.

“Y’know, I don’t think Daring ever liked hickeys…” Scootaloo rubbed her neck as she returned to her seat. She picked up her mug and took another sip of coffee.

Diamond Tiara did so as well. Much to her grief, she had already drained her mug, with only a few traces of whipped cream and sprinkles remaining. “Ah, damn.”

Another mug appeared in the corner of her vision. She looked up and saw Scootaloo nudging it towards her. “Still thirsty? I’m done.”

Diamond Tiara looked between Scootaloo and the mug, suddenly feeling as though she were dropped into the final round of a game show, and if she gave the wrong answer, she would die. On the one hand, Scootaloo’s eyes were very convincing, glowing in the light of the fireplace. On the other hand, traces of her purple lipstick were visible on the rim of the mug.

“Di? Ya thirsty?” Scootaloo asked again.

“I don’t know what I am.” Diamond Tiara shrugged and took the mug. She decided to just avoid putting her lips wherever Scootaloo did. “T-Thanks, hon.”

“You’re welcome, hon.”

The word brought a touch of ire to her face, and her response was immediate. “Can it, dodo.” But that just caused her to become even more distressed. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes as if she was suddenly hit with static electricity. She stood up quickly. “I-I have to go to the bathroom.” She turned on the spot and walked up the nearby stairs.

Scootaloo whistled and nodded her head as she watched the impressive view of Diamond Tiara’s tight yet assuredly warm snow jeans clamped around her modelesque legs and bum. “Way to make a good show of leaving us.”

Diamond Tiara turned back around and sneered.

Scootaloo looked disappointed. “Ugh, why’d you spoil it?”

As Diamond Tiara tightened her fur cap over her head, Scootaloo opened the door to the lounge balcony. Only a few mountain dwellers dared sit out here in the cold, and they were the ones with unshorn fetlocks and muscles to spare.

On the way down the stairs away from the lounge, Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo passed by a minotaur and an accompanying group of muscleheads who were talking amongst themselves. Scootaloo could have sworn one of them said the words “Bodacious” and “Most excellent” in the same sentence. She felt a few of her brain cells die, mourned, and moved onward.

As she and Diamond Tiara crossed the bridge that overlooked one of the resort’s many courses, she got a better look at the lounge she and the rest of the Crusaders would be staying it. It was one of the classier suites, just south of luxurious.

Diamond Tiara was content with what she knew awaited them; a heated pool and multiple rooms with lots of furnishings, if the brochure could be trusted. But she still felt the need to fling something at Scootaloo. “Silver Spoon is gonna hate you for not splurging on the highest quality suite available, you know.”

Scootaloo shrugged as she stopped walking. “Tell her to deal with it. Luxury suites have a maximum capacity of two ponies, and that alone costs more than my sponsors spent on the tickets I gave to you, Silvy, the Crusaders and Spike.”

“Poor sponsors,” Diamond Tiara said with a mocking sigh. “So, what about you? Will you be sleeping in one of these legendary luxury suites of legend?”

“Am I getting a new tattoo next week? The answer is yes.” Scootaloo pulled the sleeves of her coat up and held her arms out for Diamond Tiara to see. Symmetrical sets of purple ink coated her fur, with curved lines on her forearms, accented bullseyes on her elbows, and tribal arrows on her upper arms. “Pretty impressive set, ain’t it?”

“Beautiful...” Diamond Tiara said in awe. She momentarily lost control of her hands, which touched Scootaloo’s forearms, stroking her tattoos. “Uh, for a punk. When did you get these?”

“The ones you’re fondling? Those were a gift from Rainbow Dash. She flew me into town, blindfolded me, and took me into the parlor. Next thing I knew, the shirt was off and I was getting some awesome marks etched onto my sacred temple of a figure.”

Diamond Tiara giggled. She stopped herself with her hand, covering her mouth as well as her blush. “Hopefully she took off the blindfold before they started stabbing you with needles.”

“Bitch, I can take a drill to the arm, I wouldn’t feel shit. I’m hardcore like that.” Scootaloo pulled her sleeves down. “Anyway, show’s over. Get a few shots in my system and I might show off the rest of my ink, but only if you ask nicely.” She pointed two fingers at Diamond Tiara and took ahold of her wrists. “In the meantime, I need to hear a story from you. What’s rattling in that gem-encrusted brain of yours?”

Diamond Tiara hunched, suddenly finding the wood panels of the bridge much easier to look at than Scootaloo’s face. “Uh, pose in skimpy clothes for the camera, act like the queen of the world, drink lots of champagne. That’s about it.”

“Oh, you. Come ooon, you travel half as much as I do, and that means you’ve got stories to tell.”

Diamond Tiara waved her arms at Scootaloo. “I don’t, really. You try on so many clothes, sell so many magazines and posters, eventually the days just blur together.”

Scootaloo nodded and gave Diamond Tiara a pat on the shoulder. “Yeah, I get that, though for me you gotta throw in a ten-eighty into a flagpole before the blurring happens. Otherwise, whenever I’m not doing my thing, the world moves way too damn slow.”

She turned towards the sun, which was just then touching the peak of Mount Mareu. Through the snow and clouds, its glow was muted, and yet all the more beautiful as its orange glow cast the whole mountain range in twilight.

Scootaloo was only able to take in the view for so long before she felt Diamond Tiara’s mit close around her hand. Again, the normally regal and uptight belle was reduced to a stammering, blushing mess. “B-bet it makes the world a bit easier to appreciate, huh? Especially when you’re… airborne so much?”

“Yeah, but it can get a little lonely up there.” Scootaloo put her other hand over Diamond Tiara’s mit. “Glad to see somepony wants to join me.”

Diamond Tiara’s blush might as well have never existed in the first place. She stuck her muzzle upward and said, “I didn’t imply such a thing.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll teach you how to ride!” Scootaloo said, feigning ignorance to her huffiness. She pulled Diamond Tiara along the bridge towards the cabins. “I mean, jeez, if you’re gonna insist so much!”

“I don’t want to ‘ride’, you airhead! I came here to relax!”

“Relaxation is relative. You gotta sprinkle some fun between your downtime. Now, let’s get those slender legs back into your ski shoes!”

“You could be at the spa. You could be getting stripped down for a deep tissue massage and a hot bath. You could be whispering dirty words to the towel boy while he serves you champagne.” Diamond Tiara sighed. “You’re taking ski lessons from Daredevil Von Dyke.”

And yet, despite her disgruntled mood, she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the stunt complex. The place had a halfpipe in the center, and it was surrounded on two sides by ramps and adjacent grind rails. Most of the ponies making use of it ranged from little kids to inexperienced adults, which made a certain orange pegasus’ antics all the more of a standout performance.

Scootaloo made use of her wings to accelerate up one of the ramps, leap off, and go into a spin. Diamond Tiara held her breath as it looked like she was going to come up short, but Scootaloo apparently planned for that, planting her hand on the edge of the opposite ramp. She stayed there for a moment, then twirled around, using only her hand for support. Then, she let go, landed her snowboard against the vertical wall of snow, and went into the half pipe.

She turned slightly as to hit the jump diagonally. With another leap, she was up in the air once again, grabbing the lip of her board as she did a backflip. She landed outside of the complex on a pile of snow, causing a small explosion of powder at her boots. She cast her hands up to the sky and let the snow fall upon her.

As she spun in place on the tail of her board, she kept her gaze fixed on Diamond Tiara, who tucked her ski poles under her arm and politely applauded. She tried to hold in the desire to openly cheer.

“Impressed, sweet thing?” Scootaloo asked with another spin. She hopped her board over to Diamond Tiara, her hands firmly on her hips.

At the risk of going off on a tangent, Diamond Tiara asked, "Why do you like hanging out with me, again?"

Scootaloo clicked her tongue. "Well, you're a walking slapstick comedy and you make goo-goo eyes at my most basic stunts, so that's two things."

“Think of one more and maybe you’re my new best friend,” Diamond Tiara said with a scoff.

“I’ll think of one, don’t worry.”

Diamond Tiara made a sharp beeping noise. “Nope, too late. You’ve failed the friendship test. You may reapply in two years.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Freakin’ logistics, dude. See you in two years.” She pulled her boots out of the straps on her board, picked it up, and flapped her wings. “I have a presidential suite with my name on it, so…” She kicked off the ground.

Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened. “No, wait!” She dropped her ski poles and leaped after Scootaloo, throwing her arms around her legs. “Don’t go!”

Scootaloo ended up face down, making out with the snow. She shook it out of her hair and turned to Diamond Tiara with an incredulous smirk. “Heheh…”

Diamond Tiara dusted the powder off her legs and folded her arms. “What?”

Scootaloo pointed at her. “You like hanging out with me!”

“Ugh.” Diamond Tiara looked sick to her stomach. “Do you really want to know why I’ve been following you around all day?”

“Humor me.”

“If I must be entirely honest, I wanted to see if I could bum off your luxury room if I sweet talked you enough, but you’re making it incredibly difficult to me to like you when you’re acting like a mad mare. Doing all those flips and shit, you’re gonna hurt yourself someday!”

Scootaloo didn't look nearly as concerned as Diamond Tiara. “Dude, I’ve been in the hospital three times,” she says without humor.

“...Come again?”

“This year. Celestia bless socialized health care.” Scootaloo stuck out her leg. “Imagine this thing about ninety degrees thataway,” she said, pointing to her left. “Apple Bloom kept calling me ‘6:15’, it was hilarious.”

“Yeah, hilarious…” Diamond Tiara clenched her fingers into fists, just for a second, before sighing. “So… can I see your luxury suite, please?”

Perplexed, but also amused by this mood shift, Scootaloo smiled and took Diamond Tiara’s hand, much to her surprise. She pulled her into an embrace, clutching her from behind as she spread her wings.

“I don’t know how much you read into that, but—”

“I’ll show you the damn luxury suite.”