How to Take Over Equestria in Ten Easy Steps

Preface

         Living in Ponyville is an absolute dream. By that I mean that it is crazy, random, and nopony seems to remember what happened afterwards. In fact, there was a time that the entire town was a dream and yet that seemed normal. Now, I was never one to get into all of the action. I am a more reserved pony, merely observing from the outside. Some might say that sounds tragic but I think it suits me. So when my entire life almost ended due to Equestria itself almost being destroyed, It was difficult for me to stand up against it.

        Oh, my name’s Glass Wing by the way. I’m the town librarian here in Ponyville. Now I know what you may be thinking. No, Twilight is no longer our librarian, ever since she became the Princess of Friendship or whatever. After she became royalty she passed down the job of town librarian to me, I was her best customer anyways. Plus, I already had a large collection of books to lend out to people, so it wasn’t that hard to get started.

But enough about my boring life, you’re here for a story. Not just any story though, you’re here for a story of adventure, a story of good against evil, a story that will entertain you. Lucky for you, I have one personal story in mind. Now, this story happened not too long ago in fact. I could remember it like it was yesterday…

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“Lily!” I shouted looking through a stack of books on my bedside table. “Have you seen the copy of “Simple Home Renovations”? I can’t find it and I need to hang up this mirror!” I shouted still looking the same stack of books.

“I believe you lent it out to a Mr. Cranky Donkey two days ago!” Lily Sunset, my assistant and best friend, replied from downstairs.

“Oh well, I guess it will have to wait…” I sighed to myself. “Thank you!” I shouted back to Lily.

Walking over to my mirror I looked myself over before opening the library. I looked like any other average pony in this town. I was a pegasus with green fur and a thick, brown mane. I had a bunch of freckles on my face and a black pair of glasses in front of my eyes. Feeling that I looked adequate enough to start the day, I smiled and walked downstairs.

Since becoming a librarian was so sudden for me I didn’t have time to open a separate location to work from. So I lived on the second floor of my house and the library was on the first floor, much like Twilight’s house before. My house was a simple two story cottage on the edge of town. I know it’s not the best business location but fortunately ponies in this town love to read so business was always pretty good.

As I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw Lily dusting a bookshelf. She was a pink earth pony with a stunning golden mane and, of course, a lily in her hair. She thought it was her “lucky” flower. I always thought she was pretty cute, but since we were best friends, that’s where the thought usually ended.

 I had lived in Ponyville for as long as I could remember. My parents didn’t work for the weather ponies in Cloudsdale so they bought a house in the middle of town. I met Lily in school and we immediately became friends. I don’t know if it was her outgoing personality or the fact that she found by reserved personality charming, but for some reason we just clicked. We were always there for one another, so when I was asked to be town librarian, she practically begged me to let her work there.

Although I insisted that we be equal partners, she alway said: “It’s your house, your library, your business. I’m just happy to help out.”

Eventually, I did get her to agree to a 55% 45% split; and I have never regretted it.

“Ready to open shop Glass?” Lily said with a smile.

“I’m ready if you are.” I said walking over to my desk.

“Well let’s get this show on the road.” Lily said quickly running to the open/closed sign.

Now...If I had to look back on this whole adventure, I would notice a few mistakes with what I did. Some are major mistakes that almost ended me. Some are minor mistakes which were fixed in seconds. Opening the shop that day…THAT was mistake number one.

Just as Lily flipped the sign from “Closed” to “Open” a bright flash of light filled the room.

“Surprise!” Said a tall figure that just manifested itself in front of me.

Despite the fact that I was almost blinded by the previous light, I knew by the voice of the figure who had just paid me a visit.

“What do you want Discord?” I asked bitterly.

I know that I was a bit harsh when I talked to him that day. It wasn’t like I didn’t like him, it’s just that I have trouble trusting ex-villains.

“Oh, c’mon where’s the love? Gimme five ol’ pal.” Discord said jokingly holding up his claw.

I looked down at my hoof in silence before looking back at Discord.

“I suppose you want to know why I am here.” Discord said, awkwardly putting his claw down.

“That is one of my many questions about you.” I replied bluntly.

“Very well. I have been waiting outside this building for hours just to give you this.” Discord said as he held out an odd looking book.

“Lily, could you go restock the back shelves? I need to have a chat with our...customer.” I asked her as I held the book.

Everything about the book made me feel uneasy. The fact that Discord gave me the book, the strange cover, the size of it, it was all very weird. However, the thing that made me the most nervous, would be the title: “How to Take Over Equestria in Ten Easy Steps”.

“Where did you get this book exactly?” I asked, putting it down on my desk.

“I wrote it.” Discord said with a proud smile.

“You wrote a book?” I chuckled in disbelief.

“Look at the cover.” Discord said pointing to the cover.

Sure enough at the bottom of the cover were the words: “Written by Discord”.

“Okay, I guess a good question would now be why did you write this book?” I asked, still unable to process what we being revealed to me.

“The reasons are unimportant, the point of why I am giving this to you is I need you to take it.” Discord said, putting the book back into my hooves.

“What makes you think that anyone would ever want to check this book out?” I asked, slamming it back down on my desk.

“No, no, no, you don’t understand. I don’t want you to display this book. I want you to hide it. Hide it, and never let anyone touch it again. Do you understand?” Discord said grabbing my shoulders and getting right in front of my face.

“Uh, ok.” I said, clearly not understanding the entire situation.

“Thank you.” Discord said, spawning a top hat and a cane out of nowhere. “Now if you excuse me, I am late for tea.” He said walking through the front door.

“Weirdo…” I muttered to myself.

So I sat there by myself staring at the book. I was trying to think about what could be wrong with this book that would cause Discord to flip out like that. In my infinite wisdom, I decided that the only way I would truly understand what was going on would be to go ahead and read the book.

THAT was mistake number two.

The book seemed harmless enough. I didn’t see anything too dark about it as my eyes scanned the page. I flipped to the table of contents and saw steps one through ten all lined up into columns. Again, nothing too strange. I then flipped the page again and saw the word “Preface” at the top. Once again curious, I began to read.

    This book has been written to help anyone from anywhere achieve their goal of ruling Equestria. In this book there are ten, very easy, steps that, when followed exactly, will guarantee the reader control over Equestria. However, let me be the first to warn you that if one step is skipped or done incorrectly, the consequences could be dire. Along with that warning, the penalty for failure will increase each step until you have successfully gained control of Equestria.

        Still not seeing the big deal, I flipped the page again. These two pages were very peculiar in that there was only four words on them. From left to right read the words “Visual Aid” followed by the words “Yes” and “No” below them. Not really knowing what to do, I tried to flip the page, only to find the rest of the book stuck together. Figuring magic would be involved, I decided that I had to answer the question before moving on.

        “Yes.” I said, nervously.

        Suddenly the book began to be surrounded by a magical aura as it was lifted off the table. The book then flew to the floor as the magic began to make a circle surrounding it. I hid behind my desk in fear that it was going to explode. Just then, a figure began to rise out of the book and land on the floor. The magic then faded as I peered over my desk.

        Standing in front of me, on top of the book was...me. The figure had the same green fur and brown hair, but when he turned around I saw that he did not have good intentions. Staring back at me was a pair of blood red eyes, contrary to my deep blue eyes.

        “Thank’s a million, suker!” He cackled in a gruff voice as he ran out the door and into Ponyville.

        I stood for a moment in silence, to in shock to do anything. I was shaken from my trance when Discord once again flashed into the room.

        “Glass, glad I caught you I forgot to mention one crucial thing! If for some reason you decide to look at the book, whatever you do...DO NOT say yes when it asks you if you want a visual aid. Got it?” Discord said in a panic. “Glass Wing?” he said quizzically as he stared at me.

        “I think we may have a problem.” I gulped in fear.