How to Take Over Equestria in Ten Easy Steps

Step One

        “You did what?!” Shouted Discord, his eyes literally bulging out of his head.

        “Hey don’t look at me! It was your book, and you didn’t say I couldn’t look at it.” I said, trying to defend myself.

        “I figured that you would understand that it was dangerous and wouldn’t touch it.” Discord said frantically, pacing up and down the walls. “I came back just in case, but I didn’t think that you would have already read it.” He continued, teleporting back in front of me.

        “Alright, I’m sorry.” I said throwing my hooves in the air and sitting down in a nearby armchair. “You still haven’t told me what happened.” I said, looking up at the draconequus.

        “Fine, We might as well get comfortable.” Discord said, creating a chair out of thin air. “It’s a long story.” He said with a sigh.

        “What’s a long story?” Asked Lily, walking into the confusing scene.

        “He’ll explain.” I said, shifting to the side of the armchair and gesturing for her to sit next to me.

        Discord went on to tell us the entire history of that book. He told us that he wrote it as a twisted practical joke a long time ago. He figured if he could get some random pony to be stupid enough to open the book, then the book could frame them and cause a bit of chaos along the way. However, he never got around to it. He said that he recently found the book again and wanted no part of it since he was “reformed”. That is why he gave it to me.

        “...and now, you’ve just unleashed a nearly unstoppable evil.” Discord said, finishing his story.

        “Is there any way to stop it?” I asked hopefully.

        “I believe I did put in two reverse functions.” Discord said scratching his beard.

        “What are they?” Lily asked hurriedly.

        “The first one is quite simple. Simply have the doppelganger touch the pages of the book, and it will be sucked back into it, along with any trouble that it caused. The second way is to have the copy say and I quote: If you follow these easy steps, then you can take over Equestria one day too.” Discord said, recalling memories of his creation.

        “That doesn’t seem too hard.” I replied skeptically.

        “On the contrary, the copy must voluntarily touch the book, you can’t simply throw it at him. Also, it is programmed to say the phrase only after it has successfully taken over Equestria. Plus, now that I think about it, I might have gotten rid of the second function.” Discord said sheepishly.

        “Discord!” I said, scolding him.

        “It would have undone all of my handiwork.” Discord replied. “Look I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made the book, it was a bad idea. But bickering about it isn’t going to solve anything. We have to stop the book before it’s too late.” He said standing up.

        “You’re right.” I said, hopping out of the chair and walking to my desk. “Let’s go!” I said grabbing the book.

        As Discord began walking out the door, I walked over and gave Lily a hug.

        “Can you stay here and guard the library while I’m gone? I’d hate for you to get hurt because of me.” I said to her, grabbing a saddlebag from a nearby hanger.

        “I’ll be fine. Now hurry, go.” She said, quickly pushing me out the door.

===============

        “So what’s the plan?” As asked Discord, book in hoof.

        “Your copy will follow each of the steps inside that book in order. Once it successfully completes one step it moves on, until it has taken over Equestria.”

        “Why can’t we just find him and take him down now?” I asked, hurriedly.

        “The doppelganger is an evil mastermind, modeled after yours truly.” Discord said giving a boastful pose.        I stared at him blankly until he continued.        “Anyways, it won’t be taken down by brute force. It’s smarter than that.” Discord continued. “Also, I might have...uh….buffed him up a bit.” Discord said nervously.        “What do you mean...buffed him up?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.        “Well, I figured that since this clone needs to take over, it should have a slight advantage.” Discord said, staring at the ground.        “Like?” I asked.        “Nothing major...just some basic magic: teleportation, telekinesis, energy blasts, the usual. Then I gave him a bit of chaotic magic: a bit of reality warping and of course mind control.”        I stared at Discord, flabbergasted. I could not believe the odds that we were up against.        “And you can’t combat that can you?” I asked, my jaw hanging open.        “It’s unlikely.” He shrugged.        “Nevermind, we’ll figure it out when we get there. Right now we need know what his first step is.” I said flipping through the book.

Quickly flipping past the introduction, I came to the first step in the process.

STEP ONE

Arrival

Welcome to the first step in your journey to take over Equestria. Once again, this book will break down the journey into easy and quick steps in order to make sure your uprising is a successful one. Now, before we get into the complex steps found later in this book, we need to tackle the basics. Baby steps, remember, baby steps.

Now, the first step in your plan is to simply arrive on the scene. Simple as that. Just show up in a nearby town and scope out the scene. I would advise that you stay away from the current leaders as to not bring attention to yourself.

        Speaking of not bringing attention, lay low. Blend in with the crowd and remain an observer. Pay attention to everything; town schedules, citizen’s daily routines, the freaking weather, everything. Once you feel that you could predict the future with the information you’ve gathered (Or you are bored and are bold enough to move ahead anyways), you can go on to step two.

The next few pages had a few tips for hiding spots and suggestions of how to go about recording everything. Seeing that there was no other important information, I slammed the book shut and put it in my saddlebag.

“Well, that’s just great.” I sighed. “The very first step in the book is telling the clone to go and hide. How are we supposed to track him down?” I shrugged, looking up to Discord.

“We don’t, we follow what the book says.” Discord said grabbing the book out of the saddlebag.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“He is going to follow these steps to the letter in order to defeat the princesses and take control. I suggest we follow these steps to defeat him and take control.” He said flipping back to the first step.

“Can we do that?” I asked, thinking over his plan.

“Why not? Our goal is somewhat the same as his.” Discord pointed out. “Plus, I’m not hearing a better suggestion.” He said, continuing to look over the first step again.

“I guess you’re right.” I sighed. “What’s our first step?” I asked him.

“We need to make the clone think that we aren’t on his trail. That way we can trip him up when he least expects it.” Discord explained.

“Alright, let’s go find a spot to stakeout. We’ll let him make the first move.” I said grabbing the book back from Discord.

Discord nodded and teleported us to the other side of town. When we arrived, we decided to hide in an alleyway near sugarcube corner. Then we sat and waited. It was a good plan, at least, I thought it was a good plan. At this point we had no other options. Though, it’s funny, before we teleported, I could have sworn that I heard the bushes next to us...laugh.

Must have been my imagination.