Let us never speak of this again
A crowd of sunflowers, slowly crawling forward on their roots, stalked towards Rainbow Dash. She backed up, terrified at her helplessness. Any punch she did only made the flowers wobble back and forth, before resuming their relentless advance. She wasn’t sure what they would do to her if caught, but she really rather not find out.
Her only weapon was a giant arrow, in which she could summon a wall of Guardian Zombies. Unfortunately, she didn’t manage them well enough, and was running dangerously low on coin.
The flowers were also annoyingly good at shooting her out of the air with those strange green pods.
“Crap, crap, crap,” she muttered, pressing her back up against the wall “I hope this doesn’t --”
Suddenly, a massive wave rained from above, washing her tormentors away.
“GAH!”
Rainbow Dash sat upright, her mane frazzled, panting heavily and drenched with sweat. She groaned, clutching her head. “Ugh, stupid nightmares. How the heck did I develop a flower phobia? This better end soon, or I’ll start freaking out when I just walk down Ponyville. Oh well, at least the flowers didn’t get me -- hey, why is my ear wet?”
A flicker caught Rainbow’s attention, but before she could focus on it, it had already darted away. “Hey, wait up!” She kicked the covers off and shot after it, but it was too late. Whoever or whatever that thing was, it had already either hidden somewhere, or flown away.
Rainbow chose to believe the hiding part. Fly away from the Rainbow Dash? Noooo.
Unless you were Pinkie Pie. Hmm. This bears research.
Meanwhile, Twilight was having a great day. Sure, it started out somewhat terrible. with all the overdue books she found upon waking up, but the random flood that brought replacement books, all shiny and well cared for completely removed the memories of the horror from earlier.
She pranced happily around her tree-bary, lovingly reading the gibberish text on each cover and placing them into the correct spot.
“Ah,” she sighed dreamily. “If only everypony had something to stop forgetting to return their--GAH!”
Twilight flailed her limbs as her house suddenly went into freefall.
Boink went Twilight’s muzzle as it bounced off the floor. Her legs were in a tangle with her bedsheets, and her face was starting to throb. Oh, and somepony was jabbing her in her ribs.
“Twilight. Hey. Hey Twilight.”
Twilight moaned painfully, and gave up on trying to figure out where her legs were, and instead just slid her head around. She squinted at the cerulean pegasus. “...Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here? It’s like, three in the morning.”
“I know, Twi,” Rainbow said. “But there’s something watching me sleep, and whatever it was licked my ear while it was at it. I need your help catching it.”
Twilight squinted at her for a moment. “Lick?”
“Yeah, see -- huh. I dried.”
“Yeah no,” Twilight mumbled. “If this was a prank, please do it when the sun’s up. I’m going back to sleep.”
“Hey wait!”
But it was too late. Twilight closed her eyes, and her exhaustion made the purple mare start snoring within seconds.
“Twilight?”
*snnoore*
The blue pegasus pouted.
The next morning, Twilight found Rainbow Dash huddled on the side of her table, nursing a cup of coffee amongst a small pile of empty mugs. “Rainbow, have you been stealing my coffee?”
The pegasus mare quietly pushed a cosy towards here. “Brought my own coffee. Just used coffee machine.” She twitched. “Flew around all night. Didn’t catch it.”
Twilight sighed. “Are you really still going about that thing?”
Rainbow twitched some more, than gave Twilight a blank smile. “Its okay. I know you have to see it to believe it. Wake me up when the sun sets. I’ll catch you a licky ghost.” Her eyes than rolled into the back of her head and collapsed, snoring before she hit the floor.
Curious, the unicorn checked the mug Rainbow had in her hooves. “Huh. Cold and dry. ...I’m not cleaning this.”
What few visitors Twilight received that day were quietly glared into ignoring the tangle of blue fuzz underneath one of the tables.
Twilight stood at the doorway to her home, waving farewell to the pegasus as she flew back to her home. “Happy ... uh, shadow chasing? I guess?” she called out.
“Yup! I got a plan. Don’t worry about me,” Rainbow called back, and zoomed off into the darkening sky.
Twilight mumbled irritably to herself, and closed the door. Unbeknownst to her, Rainbow Dash made a massive loop and ended up on the roof of the library, hiding in the branches. Earlier that morning, she had managed to catch that shadow sneaking through Twilight’s room from the window, but decided that with the lack of evidence after crashing through the window, she will skip the confusion and just grab the evidence directly.
And so the pegasus pulled out an earlier prepared thermos of coffee, put on a black sweater, and settled herself down to wait.
A few hours into her stakeout, or about a third of her thermos later, Rainbow spotted a flitting through the town’s streets. It quickly slipped into windows of various houses before shooting out again.
“Gotcha,” she whispered, snorting quietly. She tucked her drink into a some branches, then shifted her hooves so she was ready to jump at a moment’s notice.
She didn’t have to wait long.
About ten minutes later, she saw the shadow dart towards Twilight’s home. She set her attentions to the window, shuffling slightly to make sure she had a clear line-of-sight as the blur slipped through the shadows and towards the bedroom window.
...There!
Rainbow darted to the window just as the being crouched on the windowsill.
Bonk!
Rainbow bodyslammed the ...pony? off the ledge and onto the bedroom floor, pinning the pony down. Miraclously, Twilight merely snored and turned snuggled deeper into her bed.
“Gotcha....Flitter?!” Rainbow exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
The mare Rainbow had caught was a pegasus, with a very light purple coat and messy teal mane.
“So, you’ve finally managed to catch me turning my duty. Congratulations,” Flitter replied.
“Duty? What other duty? Is this related to your weather managing job?”
“Nope. I have been chosen to assist Luna in the guarding of nightmares.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes stared off into space for a moment. “And you licking ponies is related ... how?”
Flitter smiled, though strangely, her tongue was still loosely hanging out of her mouth. “Luna needs my help to enter the dreams of ponies. My saliva has magical properties that link the dreamer’s mind to that of Luna’s. Because of this, this job can only be handled by the fastest of ponies.”
At the time, Rainbow Dash had just been nodding along, until she heard the word ‘fastest.’
“Hey, wait a minute. I’m the fastest pony!” she shouted.
“Indeed,” Flitter said. “And that means you are more worthy than I am, now.”
Rainbow pumped her hoof. “Aww yeah. There’s nopony faster than-- blurgh?”
In the middle of her self-celebration, Flitter leaned forwards and gave Rainbow a wet, messy kiss, her long tongue swirling inside Rainbow’s mouth. Dumbstruck, the blue pegasus could only lean back as she felt the alien sensation of an abnormally long tongue explore her mouth in great detail.
By the time Flitter pulled back, Rainbow Dash was feeling strangely lightheaded. She stared dazedly at the strands of saliva no, tongue that connected the two. “What ... what did you do?” she asked blearily.
“Transferring the mantle, of course. Its a painkiller. You do want to have the title of the fastest pony in Equestria, don’t you?” Flitter gave a sigh of contentment as she nuzzled the limp pegasus. “Its a very important ritual. All you have to do is sit back and relax,” Flitter said, gently pushing Rainbow onto her back.
Once she was sure Rainbow was comfortable, Flitter sat on her haunches and reached behind her back. Her hoof returned with a form and a quill.
“Bwah?”
“Release forms,” Flitter said. “It makes sure I can’t be sued or arrested.”
“Oh. Ok.” Rainbow signed the forms. They were a bit more scribbly than usual, but Luna wouldn’t be able to get on her case anyways. Flitter examined the signed forms, then tossed it behind her, then reached down.
Rainbow blinked slowly at it. ...Was that ... a zipper? Or am I hallucinating? She continued to stare in disbelief despite the fog in her mind as Flitter pulled at the entire lower half of her torso. Abruptly, right below her bellybutton was skin instead of fur. Lavender skinned hands pushed their way to the surface, stretching widely after being confined for so long.
After the shoulders the arms were connected to, the rest of her torso came out with her hand’s assistance, looking rather similar to an slimmer version of a female minotaur’s body, with two breasts on the “chest,” and a lithely toned stomach. Last of course, were her legs, long and slender with strange ... “feet”, bringing Flitter to nearly twice as tall as Rainbow if she stood up, maybe even above the Princess’s height.
Oh, and apparently her lower torso had a dick.
“The hay is that?!” Rainbow Dash blurted out.
“Do you want that title of fastest mare alive or not?”
“Yes!”
“This is how I transfer the mantle. I didn’t design this, so suck it.” She paused for a moment. “Entendre intended.”
Rainbow winced, and carefully examined the meaty object she was apparently supposed to stick in her mouth. It was currently limp, and despite probably being stuffed in a confined space for who knew how long, it didn’t seem to be stinking. So there’s that.
It also seemed a lot different than other stallions’ dicks, being more like a mushroom instead of the flattish tip and a medial ring. Maybe that’s what ... whatever the lower half of Flitter’s torso’s had for anatomy?
She opened her mouth and carefully leaned forwards and gave the dick a lick.
It just tasted like dry skin. Oh, and Flitter gave a happy hum. So that’s good?
She leaned forwards again and licked it a few more times. Slowly, Flitter’s dick began to throb, and rise.
Rainbow felt very out of her depth. The hay am I doing again?
Flitter showed her the papers she signed. Oh. right.
Rainbow went back to licking the now mostly erect penis. After a moment, she sucked in her courage and carefully stuck her mouth over it and began to suck. Flitter cooed, and gently rubbed her head with her hooves while her hands helped support her back.
Rainbow’s neck started to burn slightly from the awkward angle, and since Flitter didn’t seem to be paying much attention to her, she just let Flitter push her hips back and forth.
Suddenly, Flitter backed off. Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at her, a long trail of saliva trailing from her open jaw.
“Ohhh, that was close. Didn’t want to come just yet,” Flitter said. “Now for the actual part.”
“Wait, me giving you a blow job wasn’t part of the actual process?!”
“Yeah, I hadn’t gotten much other than my own hooves for a long time. Now let’s see here...” Flitter pushed Rainbow up and shoved her slimy dick into Dash’s vagina.
Flitter moaned, finally being able to use an appendage that had barely seen the light in years. Rainbow Dash just stared back awkwardly, shifting slightly on her elbows. “Shouldn’t I be feeling something?” she asked.
Flitter paused for a moment from her mad dicking, gasping for breath. “The ... painkillers. Remember?”
Rainbow frowned. “Seriously?” She slapped herself in the face. Besides some mild dizziness and her eyes unfocusing, she barely felt anything. “Wow, this is boring. How long is this going to take, I might as well pick up where I left off in Daring Do.”
There was a sudden blur of movement, then Rainbow suddenly gasped from a heavy force slamming into her nethers. “Ooo, I felt that.” Her pain was quickly forgotten when she saw a book being waved in her face. Squee
She quickly snatched the book out of Flitter’s hand and flipped to where she left her bookmark. Flitter went back to boning Rainbow’s mostly numb lower lips.
Daring Do leapt over a rotting cat, panting heavily. The skin on her right foreleg ripped open, ejecting a hidden blade. With a clumsy spin, she hacked the neck of the cat off. Her eyes widened at a looming shadow before it suddenly got knocked away in pieces.
Ahuizotl shook blood off his sword, looking down at her. “Filly, pay attention. I’m sure your arm is fancy, but that’s not going to help you if you get too distracted to use it.”
Daring’s arm blade slid back into her foreleg, patches of skin folding over. “Well, we wouldn’t be in this situation if you haven’t caused half the forest to turn into freakin’ zombies”
“Well--” Ahuizotl paused to gut a lion creeping up behind him, and Daring Do blindly bucked a zombie’s skull in behind her. “--excuse me for the instructions being terribly written!”
“Augh! This is why I keep telling you to stop raiding these places on your lonesome. If we went to these places together with a calm mind, and careful documentation--
Rainbow Dash stared blankly at the book. She carefully flipped it around and looked at the spine. “This wasn’t what I was reading. This doesn’t even look like a-- HURK!”
Flitter finally finished her ‘business,’ and injected her Mantle into Rainbow Dash’s torso. Despite the supposed painkillers, Rainbow still felt as if there was a massive force tearing her stomach apart. “What--what is this!”
Flitter panted happily, a glow crawling up her humanoid half. “Transfer .. complete”
A shockwave blew the two of them apart, sending a small pile of books falling on both. Flitter recovered faster, and poked her head out of the mound. She prodded her normal, equine torso. “...Woo! I’m retired, baby! Time to go Nightclub hopping! Haven’t done that in decades.” She happily leapt out of the book hill and shot through the window, shattering it.
A few moments later, Rainbow Dash sluggishly pushed the books on her head off, staring at night outside. Her tongue waved listlessly out of her mouth, all four inches of it.
Knock knock knock
”Rainbow? Is *yawn* that you? Twilight called from her room.
Rainbow spun her head towards the unicorn’s bedroom door, her tongue flapping wildly. There was a blur of blue and rainbows, and the books collapsed even further.
The bedroom door opened slowly, Twlight sticking her bleary eyes out. “Rainbow Da-- darn it, who messes up a library in the middle of the night? Ugh, I’ll have to clean this up in the morning.”
She closed the door. Ten seconds later, she rushed through. “No-I-can’t.
She paused in the middle of the ground floor, noticing the strange, title less book sitting in the middle of the room. She picked it up and flipped through the pages, catching her eye on a small note in the back cover. “Huh. Rarity wrote this?”
And then everypony went back to sleep. Except Twilight who ended up sleeping in the morning. And LickyRainbow. But that’s a story for another time.
Author's Note
Like, never.
This is Alamais's fault.
