Twilight Sparkle is an Assassin

“Are we nearly there yet?” Twilight Sparkle asked, for perhaps the tenth time in just as many minutes. Celestia gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to let loose a loud sigh of annoyance. Instead she just glared down at her student who was dressed in white robes, which did a pretty good job at concealing the arsenal of weapons strapped around her body.

“For the millionth time, Twilight!” Celestia snapped angrily. “We are not almost there! In fact, we still have quite a long way to go before we reach the griffon kingdom! So please, stop bothering me with these pointless questions!”

Twilight’s ears folded back against her head and her bottom lip began trembling as she looked up at her princess with wide watery eyes filled with hurt. Celestia mentally berated herself for snapping at her young student in such a harsh tone, but they had been on the road—traveling to the griffon kingdom—for the past three days now, her aching hooves and Twilight’s constant whining was getting on her already worn nerves.

But that was still no excuse for her to take her frustrations out on her assassin. “Forgive me, Twilight. This whole trip has stretched my patience to its limit. First the carriage breaks down beyond repair, even after I specifically told the servants to make sure it was up to making a long journey across Equestria. Then we have to hoof it the rest of the way to the Griffon kingdom, lest we offend them by being late. And to top it all off, I can’t even teleport us there, because of the age-old tradition of traveling by hoof or carriage all the way to peace conferences.” Celestia let out another frustrated sigh, but most of her frustrations melted away as Twilight’s expression turned to one of understanding and the unicorn used her fuzzily soft muzzle to nuzzle Celestia’s chest.

“It’s okay, Princess,” Twilight said comfortingly. “I promise not to bother you again.”

Celestia smiled down at the smaller mare and gave her pat on the head, causing Twilight to purr softly in contentment.

“How about the next village we come to, I treat you to some milk and cookies?”

Twilight’s eyes lit up brightly and she gave a elated “squee” before jumping in happy circles around her mentor.

“YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!”

For several amusement filled seconds, Celestia watched her assassin prance adorably in excited circles at the prospect of cookies and milk before placing a wing in Twilight’s path. Twilight’s joyful prancing came to an abrupt stop as she ran into Celestia’s wing, the mare let out a small sneeze as she got a face full of feathers. Twilight then looked up at Celestia with a sheepish smile.

“Heh-heh... I suppose I got a bit over excited.”

Celestia nodded. “Just a bit,” she said, agreeing. “Now why don’t you go scout the path ahead and make sure it’s safe to proceed? We don’t want to run into any bandits lying in wait for us, now do we?”

“Okay princess.” Twilight gave her a wide smile before using her magic to draw two sais from
her robes and walk on ahead.

Twilight hummed a happy tune to herself as she scanned the forest and bushes on both sides of the path for any kind of threats to her beloved princess. Occasionally she’d glance back the way she’d come to make sure nothing had happened to her mentor, and then return to eyeing the track ahead of her for any dangers. The sais in her telekinetic grasp spun in lazy circles at her sides, as she found fiddling with them to be an amusing entertainment.

Twilight came to a cautious stop when she heard a rustling noise in a bush several meters in front of her.. Her ears pricked forward to catch any other noises coming from the bush, while her eyes flickered to different places in the surrounding landscape, looking for anything that might be sneaking up on her. All was silent so she moved cautiously forward in a low crouch to the ground, with her sais pointed threateningly at the bush.

The bush rustled again, causing Twilight to give out a startled ‘eep’ and jump backwards, before blasting it with a powerful stream of violet magic. Leaves and twigs flew everywhere and in the remains of the bush a nest of angry snakes came slithering towards her.

Twilight screamed loudly in pure terror and began running away as fast as she possibly could.

Princess Celestia was a very welcome sight to Twilight, who didn’t stop running until she was clutching her mentor’s foreleg as though it was her lifeline. Celestia looked down at the quivering mare holding onto her leg and immediately used her magic to bring Twilight into a comforting hug. Twilight wrapped her hooves around the alicorn’s neck and buried her muzzle into Celestia’s chest.

“Let me guess,” Celestia said softly. “You ran into some snakes?”

Twilight whimpered and nodded in reply.

Celestia ran a comforting hoof through Twilight’s mane while she nuzzled her cheek softly

“How about this time I protect you for a while, okay Twilight?”

Twilight gave a little sniffle and looked up at Celestia with wide, frightened eyes. “C-can I ride on your back? P-please?”

“Of course, my little pony.” Celestia’s horn glowed and she levitated Twilight onto her back in the space between her wings. Twilight snuggled further into her teacher’s warm fur, before she curled up into a small fuzzy ball and stared fearfully down at the ground.

She may be scared to death of snakes, but she still had to be vigilant in her protection of Equestria’s ruler. No snake was going to harm Celestia when Twilight Sparkle was around. As they approached the remains of the bush where the snakes had been hiding, Twilight used her magic to collect her fallen sais and point them threateningly at the ground ready to stab any slithering reptiles, if any dare to approach them.

Thankfully they made it past the danger zone without any trouble, but Celestia made no action to remove Twilight from her perch on her back. Twilight, who was completely oblivious to the small blush forming on her mentor’s cheeks, was quite happy to continue snuggling on Celestia’s back, and to make good use of this vantage point to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.

After several more hours of walking, during which Twilight was constantly yawning, Celestia was beginning to silently curse the idiots that made up the tradition of not using magic to got to peace treaty meetings. Her hooves were aching much worse than before, and her white fur was stained brown with dust. Oh how she missed the carriage.

“I’m hungry,” Twilight said, poking Celestia in the back to get her attention.

“I suppose we could stop and rest for a few minutes. Goodness knows we’ve earned it.”

Celestia levitated Twilight from her back and placed her gently onto the ground. Twilight gave another wide yawn and stretched out her stiff body much like a cat would.“So what would you like to eat today, Twilight?” Celestia levitated her saddle bags off and began taking various items out of them. “We have some carrot sticks, some apples, a few slices of bread, that are somehow still okay... I really think I should talk to the bakers about what they’re putting into their recipes.”

A thoughtful look passed over Celestia’s face. “I think we actually passed some daffodil flowers not too far back. How would you feel about a daffodil sandwich?”

Twilight’s stomach rumbled loudly and she gave an embarrassed smile while her purple cheeks took on a slightly redder shade. “That would be delicious, thank you princess.”

“Very well you stay here and set up the picnic blanket, I’ll go back and pick some of the
daffodils, okay?”

Twilight nodded, and when Celestia left, she levitated the blanket out of one of the saddle bags and began spreading it out on the ground. As she worked at setting up the picnic, Twilight hummed a quiet little tune to herself, and gave a satisfied nod once she had finished setting up the blanket.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here, lads?”

Twilight gasped, and suddenly spun around drawing her two sais to point them at three bandits, who were slowly walking out of the forest towards her with their own weapons.

She gulped nervously, and began backing away. “P-please, leave me alone,” Twilight said, looking at the bandits with wide, pleading eyes. “I-I don’t want to hurt you.”

The three bandits glanced at each other, then burst out laughing. Twilight’s flank bumped into a tree, stopping her backwards retreat. She gulped again as she realized that she had nowhere else to run. All the while the bandits kept moving in on her.

“What are ya even wearing?” one of the bandits asked, reaching his spear towards her white outfit. Twilight flinched away from the sharp weapon.

“And what’s a nice little filly like you playing with such sharp and nasty weapons like those, huh? Didn’t your mommy ever teach you it’s dangerous to play with knives?”

“They’re not knives!” Twilight pointed out with an angry huff. “They’re sais. And I have them because I’m an assassin!”

The three bandits began laughing even harder. “You, an assassin?! HAHAHAHA! What are ya gonna do? Give us a heart attack with your adorable cuteness?”

“Hey! Who you calling cute‽” Twilight stomped a hoof, sending up a small cloud of dust. “I happen to the be the most feared assassin in all of Equestria!”

More loud bursts of laughter. “Not surprising, with how many ponies you’ve no doubt killed with heart attacks!”

Twilight’s ears drooped, and she looked at the bandits with wide purple eyes shining with unshed tears. “B-but I am an assassin...” She sniffled sadly and ran the back of her hoof across her suddenly runny nose. “I-I even protect Princess Celestia. Which means I can’t let you take her things.”

Without warning Twilight disappeared In a flash of violet magic—which left the bandits’ vision blurry—and reappeared several feet in the air above the bandit in the middle of the group. Her sais—surrounded by a purple glow—shot downwards and stabbed the other two bandits in the back of their necks. She landed on the thirds bandit’s back, and jabbed him in the throat with a dart coated in Night Charm poison.

He’d be sleeping for hours.

Twilight hopped off the bandit’s back and blew a raspberry at his still form splayed out over the ground. “Told you I was an assassin.”