Pleasuring Puckered Pony Ponuts

Chapters

Chapter 1: Tasting the Rainbow
Chapter 2: Don't Let Your Dreams Be Dreams
Chapter 3: Apples, Amethysts and Alliteration
Chapter 4: We're all pink on the inside, some of us are even pink on the outside.
Chapter 5: The Ponut Strikes Back
Chapter 6: The One Ring

Chapter 1: Tasting the Rainbow

My name is Anna Lingus and I’m a ninja. A butthole ninja.

You ever been walking down the street and felt a warm tickle on your chocolate starfish? That was me.

You ever sit down and start feeling like something was firmly yet lovingly stretching your rectum? That was me.

You ever spend your day just wanting somepony to bend you over a table and shove their warm, wet, and sexy tongue right in your most sensitive of places? Well that wasn’t me but we really should meet up.

Most ponies go around with their snouts in the air, all high and mighty, thinking that placing their lips upon the divine derriere of another is just revolting. That the mighty ponut is undeserving of being tenderly loved, caressed and cherished. That all ponies should live their lives without ever knowing what it feels like to have their most sexual of spots be venerated as they truly deserve.

It is I who those uptight ponies fear. Every time I walk in a crowd I detect that faint, perverse but beautiful desire of a pony wishing that an experienced tongue would find itself rammed deep into their ponut. And I truly wish that one day I could walk up to you and give that plump little butt of yours the eating out of a lifetime, right in the middle of the street.

But that day is not yet here, so I must hunt those whose ponuts cry out for me in the dark, and conduct my most necessary of services in the utmost of secrecy.

PONUT OF THE DAY: RAINBOW DASH

My horn could feel her rear end calling out to me from a few miles away. I could sense that maddeningly teasing itch that all sphincters demanding to be seduced feel. I made haste; I snuck up back alleys, ducked behind market carts, walked openly down the street since no pony really suspected me of doing anything (I mean how often do you look at a pony and think she’s planning on assaulting your butthole?). It took me a little while, but I spotted her, calmly trotting down an empty dirt road.

Her face, while mostly chipper, seemed a little bit annoyed. How much of that was due to the tiny chicken looking filly talking to her or her unspoken desire to have her ass be thoroughly tongue fucked, I could not say. But I could feel the waves of her desire washing over me, a lust demanding to be sated, a voice from behind her tail whispering in my ear, “Lick me”.

It was then I prepared myself for my task. After scanning my surroundings to see if anypony was looking in my direction, my horn flashed and I instantly vanished. A few more spells were necessary to complete my job: one to mask any noises or scents coming from me, one to lengthen my tongue, and a final one to make Rainbow dash be more receptive to what I was about to do. A lifetime of negative reinforcement about the great and glorious ponut have made even the most anal loving of ponies ashamed of any good feelings back there. My hope is that when I’m done not only will Dash have the fire of butt love warming her heart be fed, but that her future , and anus, become more open to new and wondrous sensations.

I began my approach. I quickly snuck up behind her, the prattling of the filly filled my ears. Dash’s luxurious tail swung back and forth, rubbing itself across my face. The soft fibers petting my nose, my lips, my cheeks, spreading the soft scent of the sweet shampoo that the she must have used. However I knew I mustn’t be distracted, while rimming could theoretically be done while the rimmee was walking it wasn’t quite the easiest thing to do for the rimmer and would be a lackluster experience for all. I waited for the two to come to a standstill in the middle of what appeared to be a park; a few ponies passing around us every once in a while.

That was when I chose to strike.

I slowly moved her tail away with my face; I noticed Dash do a slight head turn to look behind her, but seeing no pony there went back to pretending to listen to the blank flank bugging her. I chose to let my warm breath lightly breeze against her darkest entrance; letting my eyes gaze lovingly at her most private of areas. My brain memorized every fold, every crevice; my imagination conjured up a thousand ways to please her. Dash felt like the type that needed a little bit of romancing to get the job done.

With that in mind I placed a soft kiss on her downy left cheek. Dash seemed to have tensed up and her neck snapped back to stare at what could have done that, but seeing nothing she must have assumed it was just in her head. Once she calmed down I went back to business: slowly placing kisses all over that tight, athletic ass of hers. I started from the outer part of her cheeks before slowly working my way to the center of her crack. I wanted to dive down in there, but I didn’t want to spoil the moment.

I whipped out my tongue and placed it right at the farthest edge of her anal ridge. I could feel her tense up even harder than before, but my previous calming spell kept her far more docile then she normally would have been. I slowly dragged my tongue under the ridge, going around in a lazy circle. I’d only use the very tip of my tongue, a sharp focal point so as to make the sensation even more pronounced. I could hear ponies slowly walk around us, even one stopped by and decided to have a chat. I could hear Rainbow Dash stutters some responses, “Umm…umm, I’m, uh, doing fine! Uh, no I’m not sick, my face is just, uh, usually this red!” I smiled at her nervousness, just the thought of having your ass eaten in public must be turning her on so much. Heck, I didn’t even need to guess how turned on she was: I could smell her slit slowly becoming more wet, I could feel her begin a slow but repetitive wink.

Once I felt that the very edge of her ponut has gotten its share of love, I slowly dragged my tongue closer to the center. However I stopped just shy of falling right into her black hole, and begun another round of lazy circles. I’d slide over to the outer edge before doing a lap around and I’d finish off with a few quick strikes right around the very middle of her hole. Each pattern would be different every time, my tongue counting off the folds, following them however they go before starting anew somewhere else.

My tease was working wonders on Dash. I could detect the lust screaming from her backside. I could hear the tension in her voice whenever she was forced to speak to somepony nearby, I could smell the arousal wafting from her pussy and feel it coat every pore on my face. The soft cyclical squish of her winking becoming quicker and louder. I gripped her flanks with both of my hooves to force her to stop squirming away.

The second I could feel her need reach a torturous apex I begun the final stage of my plan. I ended my teasing circles and timed my strike into the very middle of her asshole with one of her harder winks. My tip was firmly buried in her crevice while the rest of my tongue twisted and turned, drilling its way into her. I could hear her squeak and whinny, her voice becoming more and more frazzled, forced to come up with excuses for her odd behaviour to those who stopped and stared.

As my tongue forced its way into her I knew it was time to unleash another flurry of spells. One spell would spread a delicious warmth from my mouth, warming every bit of her rump. The next would relax every fiber of her being, allowing me to piston deeper and deeper. A third spell would send an invisible hoof to tug lightly on her tail, while a forth brought loving kisses where the hair met flesh.

Every second passed I could feel myself plunge further and further into her; I’d drag myself provocatively out of her before ramming down farther than where I was before. My elongated tongue was stretching to its limit, but I knew I would not be satisfied unless I was tonsil deep inside this most beautiful of posteriors. I could see out the corner of my eye more and more ponies stopping to gawk at Rainbow Dash; her ragged breathing and fragrant musk made for the most perverse of scenes. I could feel the flames of desire screaming from within her, emanating through her rear, flooding my mouth and sliding down my throat.

It took a bit more force than I was planning but I finally could feel myself fully rooted within her. It was then I set off my final spell: one that would force Dash to become incapable of paying attention to anything outside her ass. No longer was her mind stuck on the shocked expressions of everypony around her, no longer was she battling to explain to herself what was happening, no longer was she trying to pretend that she wasn’t loving every second of this. With one spell Rainbow Dash reduced herself from being the tough, aggressive and dominant pony that she was, down to a long, luxurious tunnel topped with the most sensitive of ponuts.

My tongue swirled and twisted around, stretching out every single part of her. My little tentacle was folding into itself before springing right out, sending the most profane of sensations down to the very core of her being. My magic just added to the fray of new feelings, her body quaking as every single possible part of her ass was assaulted in ways that before today Dash could only have dreamed of. I could feel the waves of lust cresting higher and higher; magical notes of satisfaction and release becoming louder and louder. Her wet, dripping cunt was winking harder and more lewdly than before, trying to add to the pleasure that she was feeling. But we both knew that from now on that paltry little pussy of hers would play second fiddle to her most ravishing of rumps; her sexuality refocusing itself to the correct and most divine sex organ.

It was then I could feel it, her lust reaching its zenith. A dam burst from within as she clamped down as hard she could. That inferior hole of hers splashed cum all over the ground as she gave a loud and feminine moan. Dash’s knees buckled and slowly she sank to the ground; my tongue pulling itself from out of her with a vulgar, sexual “pop”. I smiled down at the little pony, enjoying the sight of a fully contented mare, and partially enjoying the embarrassed look on crowd around me.

I always like to leave a memento to those whose butts I’ve most thoroughly enjoyed, a personal calling card if you will. I magically painted my lips orange, feeling it would contrast well with the blue of her coat, craned my neck down and placed a big, wet kiss right on her hole. I slowly trotted away, only looking back both see the crowd approach Rainbow Dash (as well as a few noticing the bright orange lipstick mark), and once I knew I was alone made myself visible.

I went over the experience again in my mind, writing down a mental list of what I felt worked and what I believed needed improvement; a necessary piece of clerical work for a seductress of sphincters such as myself. Satisfied with that little piece of housekeeping, I happily skipped my way back home, feeling accomplished for another job well done.

With that said I couldn’t help but feel as though somepony was watching me…

Author's Note

This will be the first chapter in a series of sexcapades following Anna Lingus. Who will she eat out next? Who was the pony watching her? What wine goes best with pony ponuts? All those questions and more will be answered in the following chapters!

Not so sure about the last question though.

Chapter 2: Don't Let Your Dreams Be Dreams

I am the vengeance. I am the night. I am the butt-mare.

And after such a long day of having my snout buried deep into Rainbow Dash, this butt-mare needs a good night’s rest.

Unfortunately, this night’s rest will be just as fitful as all my others.

There are many downsides of being a pony who spends her life to the most sacred task of ponut pleasuring. The first being that I when I pleasure a ponut, I become so engrossed in the activity, so single mindedly focused on bringing my most favorite of places to the most highest of highs, that I completely forget to give myself any pleasure. Normally if I was with a willing partner I’d simply ask them for some reciprocation during the act, anal or otherwise. But for the last couple of months all my sexual encounters have been with those big beautiful butts who have called out to me; and while they surely are appreciative of my work (I think), my needing to be invisible during the act has left them incapable of giving anything in return. The good news is that once in a while just the very act of eating out an ass can bring me an orgasm, but it’s a rarity. You might think that I simply could take some private time and give myself a little bit TLC, but I find that I’m just unable to cum when I’m not tonsil deep in somepony’s sphincter.

The second downside is the realization that my task will never be complete. The day where eating ass is as common as a hoofshake might truly be a pipedream. While I absolutely adore the fine art of rimming I know that there are simply too many uneaten assholes out there for one mare to ever handle. My most realistic wish is that one day I might dedicate my life to the service of just one ponut, but butt love is something far too many look down upon for me to ever find a stable relationship.

These realities of mine are exactly what haunt me during the night.

My dreams tease me with a life I could never have. I would find myself walking down a busy street and be able to walk up to any pony and simply shove my snout in to their crack. They’d smile back at me as I ravish their backside with a thousand soft kisses; my face would be warmed by their loving cheeks. After getting my fill from one pony I’d canter down the street to another. My morning would be spent tasting the rosebuds off all those around me; I’d make-out with that cute unicorn from the dance club one moment before using my magic on that that friendly earthpony by the local school the next. I’d feel myself becoming closer and closer to orgasm with each one, but it would never come.

But my deepest, darkest fantasy is what my dreams always fixate on. In every sexual experience I’ve ever had I’d always be the instigator, the dominant partner. My dreams know that I long to be the one forced to eat out some pony else.

I’d find myself running away from a crowd of ponies, all of whom are angry at my invisible escapades. I would spot them getting closer and closer until one of them jumps right on top of me, forcing me to the ground. One member of the mob would tie my forelegs together while another would use her magic to nullify my horn. The leader of the mob, an angry violet unicorn, would exclaim that since I so loved to eat ass, going so far to just sexually assault ponies in broad daylight, I might as well eat everypony’s ass.

I’d feel a hoof grab my hair as I was shoved right into her rump. I’d try and resist but the force on the back of my head made it impossible to do anything but lick her. I’d hear everypony around me jeering and calling me names as the ring leader grinded her flanks across my snout. The hoof grabbing my hair would pull me from her crack and then slam me down into somepony else. I’d tongue-fuck this new ass with all my might, hoping that my licks would stop any pony from hurting me. The worst thing about the experience is how absolutely wet it was making me, the pleasure of being taken this way would force me to moan.

The jeers from the crowd would increase as they realize that I was getting off to this. The hoof wrapped around my mane would yank me out and shove me right into a third pony, then a fourth, then a fifth. Each time I’d do my best to lash at every hole with as much gusto I could muster, my tongue lathering every inner wall hoping that it would appease the mob. For most of the experience my sight would be completely obscured by the pony’s flank before being pulled out, and in the few seconds of reprieve I had before being slammed to into some pony else I could see my warm saliva completely coating their ass, with a considerable stream of it dripping out of their ponut. The view, as short as it was, would cause me to wink even harder and louder than I did before.

The horde, infuriated with the noise, would slam my face deep into a very plump derriere. The soft white flanks being a much longed for cushion; the warmth of her butt would flow through my muzzle and into my brain, producing a most delicious buzz. The hoof on the back of my skull released its grip, only for it to be replaced by the muscular butt of another pony; it appeared the plan was to crush me in a sea of ass. The flesh around me gripped my head in a lewd but sensual hug. My tongue would thrust in and out of the puckered hole in front of me, invigorated by the softness all around me. My thrusting would be short lived though, as the pony I was deeply rooted in clamped down as hard as she could, preventing me from moving in any way at all.

The feeling of helplessness, of being drowned between those two amazing asses, was just enough to drive me to orgasm. I could feel myself get closer, and closer to the edge. I’d only need one more second…

But the mob would have none of it. I was released right before I reached the precipice, and slammed back first on to the ground. They’d descend upon me, slamming posts into the earth and lashing ropes around my body, securing me to the dirty ground. It was then they would unleash the final wave of their torment. The ring leader from before would squat herself over my face before slamming herself down. My face would be sleek with the sweat from her coat and my nostrils, for a brief second, would be filled with the musk of arousal. But that vulgar scent would be the only bit of air I would get as her lavender flanks draped across my nose, completely blocking my nostrils. I worked my tongue as desperately as I could, hoping that it would be enough to convince her to let me breathe

My air supply was running low, and my tongue was viciously tired from reckless lashing. She’d grind her ass across my face, coating it in more and more of her sweat. Just when I thought I would black out she pushed herself off, giving me a brief second to drag air into my screaming lungs. But it would be a short filled second as she slammed herself back down. Up and down, up and down, again and again. Sometimes while down she’d wiggle her rump as hard as she could while calling me every dirty word in the book. After who knows how long she stood up, and with her magic pulled my tongue as far out of my mouth as she could. A quick spell and it stood rigid and painfully erect; while I could twist and flick the muscle, nothing I did would bring it back down.

Another pony took the opportunity to slam herself right down onto me, my tongue penetrating deep into her asshole. Up and down she’d slam herself as I tried to bring her some kind of pleasure in hopes it would end the assault. With a loud “pop”, she stood up before another pony hopped on. What little breaths I took were filled with sweat and arousal, what little I saw were the tantalizing asses of those dominating me and the smug grins on the crowd around me.

I lost count exactly how many sat on my face, but by the eighth or ninth my skull was allowed to remain unmolested. I thought that I convinced them to let me go, to end the ordeal. But a part of me knew that wasn’t the case: my tongue was still held magically erect, and I would even go as far as saying it had been magically enlarged. It was then the final pony out of the crowd stood above me. Her ass was more massive then any I’ve ever seen before. Her ponut a delicious shade of black, contrasted well with the downy white of her coat. Her descent on to my face was painfully slow; she was seemingly aware that while my face hurt from the rumps of those before, I longed to have the feel of her soft cheeks around my snout. As my tongue penetrated her ponut I could smell a musk more pungent than all the rest, I could hear moaning from one set of lips but winking with the other.

Then I felt something. Before with all the other ponies I could feel none of the magical arousal that an ass would normally produce; I chalked it up to them simply fucking my face out of pure dominance. But with this one, I could feel her lust pour right into me. Wave after wave of desire crashing against my very soul, more powerful than any other ass I’ve ever pleasured before. As she descended on to me I thrashed my tongue as hard as I could, but unlike before I was doing this not to save myself but to give everything I had to this mare. I could feel the lust pull at me in ways that I’ve never knew were possible, my body felt like a puppet and this hole was my master. My world went black as her cheeks covered my eyes, and soon my world became silent as her massive rump flowed around my ears.

The warmth of her body pierced my very being, while the torrent of her lust thrashed my mind. The hunger she had took complete control over me, my tongue obeying her commands instead mine. Every wiggle of her monstrous behind thundered in my ears, the tightness of her hole sent shockwaves through my mouth. I could feel myself become more aroused than I’ve ever been before, every atom of me was imbued with the hunger that this mare had for getting her ass worshipped. I could feel my lungs start to burn as the pleasure wracked both our bodies, but I didn’t care. Every thought I had was solely focused on showing her ass the love that it truly deserved. My eyes began to roll into the back of my head as I felt my orgasm slowly and slowly build. It was a race between my consciousness and my libido, my mind caught between trying to survive and trying to come. Each second I would get closer, and each second my world would fade away. I was almost there, the end to months of frustration was finally within my grasp…

It was then my eyes shot open and I took a massive gasp of air. I looked around and saw my mundane and boring bedroom, no angry mob around me, and no beautiful bum above. My body was drenched in sweat, while my sheets were soaked in my love fluids. My painful lust being the only thing that remains of that amazing dream. I knew that I would not be able to go to sleep again for a while, not until my pussy would calm down. I’ve had enough experience knowing that trying to cum would be pointless now, my masturbation would accomplish nothing if I didn’t have a mouthful of ass at the same time.

After much debate whether to even try force myself to cum, I finally resigned myself to just lying on my bed, closing my eyes and simply waiting for sleep to take me. I wasn’t too sure if sleep would be a good thing or a not, considering I’ve had this exact same dream every night for the last several months, each time ending under the flanks of that magnificent mare…

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed this super cloppy fic! Sorry none of the mane 6 are in this one (Or maybe they are?!) but I wanted everyone to get inside the mind of Anna. Every good clop protagonist needs back story and characterization.

Who was that magnificent mare? Whose ponut will call out to Anna next? How drunk am I? All these questions and more will be answered in the next chapter(s)!

Chapter 3: Apples, Amethysts and Alliteration

My name is Lingus. Anna Lingus. And right now I’m hunting down a butthole in need.

Every day my horn becomes more and more sensitive to the silent screams of a sexy sphincter wanting to be loved. The frustration of last night’s dreams fueling my search, my legs pumping harder than they ever have. Just the thought that some pony’s ponut could be suffering from the crippling loneliness in this mad anal hating world is something I cannot stand.

Just imagine a world where you’ve never had your ass eaten. A world where your butt has never felt a loving lick, a kind kiss, or even a simple snout snuggle. The reality that so many are oppressed by such a cruel and terrible fate is almost too much for me some days. But I must not falter in my duty, if my actions save at least one pony’s anus, I know my life would have been a well lived one.

My horn was pulling me closer and closer to center of town; I could feel the lust, as faint as it was, whispering in my ear. “Find me”, it would say, “I need your tongue so bad. Oh Celestia I just want you eat me all day long. I want you to make me your fucking bitch.” It has been a while since an ass had so lewdly called out to me; demanding my presence with so much unbridled want. But something was off, as I got closer and closer to whoever this pony was the signal became increasingly distorted.

My pursuit had eventually led me to the marketplace. A common meeting grounds for ponies, so it wasn’t odd that I’d find somepony in need here; actually it was quite often that my horn would lead me here, but the difficulty has always been trying to localize it. I ran from stall to stall, trying to pinpoint exactly who this pony was, but then I saw her.

PONUT OF THE DAY: APPLEJACK

I spotted her stallionning her apple cart, her coat lightly covered in sweat. How much of that was from her early morning apple bucking, her being out in the warm summer sun, or her unspoken need to get her rectum reamed so roughly that her entire family could feel it was beyond my ability to tell. Normally whenever I found a ponut in need, and the pony it happens to be attached to is in such a crowded area, I would wait until they left into a slightly quieter locale before pouncing on their posteriors. But I knew Applejack would be standing there for quite a while, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to that massive, muscular, munchable rump of hers go hours without being worshipped as it truly deserves.

However something seemed wrong, her lust sounded different than before. It was definitely there, but it was far less lurid with its request. “Boy howdy ah sure wish some pony would come back here and eat mah hump like it was the juiciest apple in all of Appleloosa. Mah apple pie hasn’t been eaten since, gosh ah can’t even ‘member when was the last time that’s happen.” Her ass said in an accent that seemed vaguely racist. Regardless, it wouldn’t affect my plans: I would never turn down a puckering hole’s request, even if it couldn’t stop relating everything back to apples. Seriously her ass just kept going on about apples for like five minutes.

After checking if the coast was clear I began evoking my standard spells: I turned myself invisible, elongated and enlarged my tongue (last night’s dream inspiring me to increase its prehensility), and bathed Applejack in a calming aura in case she decided to try running away from my ministrations. I was just about to strike when that old, sexual voice popped up again. “Oh god just rut me with your tongue right now. I need you sooo fucking much. Baby just treat me like the filthy filly I am!” I stopped in my tracks, realizing exactly why the voice seemed so distorted before: there were two ponies who needed my attention. And it was most fortunate that pony number two just happened to be cantering up to Applejack’s stall.

SECOND PONUT OF THE DAY: RARITY

It appeared to me that there was direct correlation between needing your ass eaten and being an element of harmony. Was it a side effect of the elements? Did the elements choose the most anal loving ponies or did a true love of anal mean that they chose the elements? Does all of harmony emanate from the grandeur of our ponuts? More research would have to be done.

Yes the ponut is the reason for all good things in the world. It is responsible for sunshine, warm hugs and MLP: FiM being renewed for 10 more seasons. Reference: Me, PHD in Ponutology, Canterlot University.

But I knew I had to act quickly, lest Rarity leaves in to the crowd and who knows how long it would take before I could find her again. Now, for most ponies rimming two different mares at the same time would be next to impossible, but I am not like most ponies. My knowledge of magic has aided me in my quest to love all the butts of Equestria, and I remember a very specific tome that happened to be perfect in situations like this. It told the tale of a pony who was imbued with the spirit of a fox, and the wonderful adventures that he would go on. And then it was no longer about the wonderful adventures he would go on and be about really boring drama that just kept going on and on and with like a hundred filler chapters.

Though I stopped reading the tome half way through I had learned some very useful spells. Making the proper signs with my hooves and concentrating my horn, whispering the magical incantation under my breath “影分身の術”, I split myself into two. Firing off a few spells to silence any noises from me and bathing Rarity in the same calming aura, I snuck towards the pair.

As I crept towards their flanks I took a second to appreciate their soft silky tails. Applejack’s sweat streaked blondes rubbed itself all over my nose, lovingly clinging on to me. I couldn't help myself; I drew some of those fibers into my mouth, getting that pheromone filled taste of her on my tongue. Rarity’s tail on the other hand was filled with a sweet yet subtle scent. I couldn’t tell exactly what, but I didn’t care as my snout was caressed by her soft purple tresses. She flicked her tail this way and that, and each strand peppered my face with their sensual kisses. The compliment between the rustic taste of the farm pony and the modern perfumes of the fashionista send shivers down my spine.

However, I knew I should not distract myself with their tails, regardless of how they made me feel. I pushed aside their luscious locks and peered deep into their pretty little puckers. Their crevices and valleys, their mountains and ridges, told me everything I needed to know about them.

Applejack would be a simple affair, a thorough licking was all she needed; she was not a mare that longed for the frou-frou of a long romantic encounter. Though simple does not mean my creativity would be unnecessary, the simplest things in life almost always require the most amount of thought. Rarity on the other hand needed to feel dominated. She needed the release of pain, the freedom of filth, she so desperately wished to be unshackled by her social role and be seen as the disgusting pervert that she truly was.

I placed my hooves on Applejacks cheeks, slowly spreading them apart. On Rarity I placed tiny bites on her flank. They both turned around, looking to see what was going on, but seeing nothing they assumed it was in their heads. Waiting for both of them to return to their conversation I started pulling Applejacks cheeks even further. You know that pull you feel on your hole when somepony is forcing your cheeks apart? Well Applejack was becoming increasingly aware of that delicious feeling, and by the slight increase in the smell of musk her body was loving it. With Rarity I chose to keep nipping away at her rump, leaving soft marks of pain across her backside. I could hear Rarity’s voice become increasingly shaky, her breathing more ragged. I decided to take it one step further, I pulled as much of her soft flank into my mouth as I could, before biting down as I hard I could. Rarity gasped, and a light moan snuck its way past her lips, while her rhythmic squish started to become louder.

Once I knew I couldn’t pull Applejack apart any farther I dived straight in. I lapped at her crack like a mare possessed; I conjured a few magical mouths to pepper her ass with kisses and licked her rear like it was ice cream. Over at Rarity I grabbed her tail and yanked hard, forcing her butt right on to my face. I proceeded to nibble and bite at her ponut. Every time I hurt her I would immediately soothe the area with my tongue, trapping Rarity between amazing pain and amazing pleasure. Both mares were slowly breaking down; the façade they put on, pretending as if they weren’t absolutely loving this, crumbled away.

Their lusts resonated within me, I could feel Applejack slowly grind on my face, trying to speed up her orgasm. Rarity on the other hoof was still holding back; though the pain of my bites, the force of her tail being pulled and the ravishing caress of my licks drew her closer and closer to the edge, she still refused to breakdown and give in to the pleasure. Her lust was begging for me to help, demanding that I do what I must to free that inner slut we all knew was buried within.

That was when an idea sparked within my mind. I conjured up a magical flogger, one that I knew would make anypony scream. I pulled my snout from out of her, and I faintly heard what sounded like a frustrated whimper. I waited until it looked like she was just about to regain her composure when I swung the flogger straight at her right cheek. My silencing spell deadened the sound of the smack, but the shaking of her ass produced one hell of a noise, in addition to the lewd groan she made. I smacked her again, another moan. Again I struck, she moaned even louder. I switched cheeks with each strike and she let her inner slut through, panting and moaning as loud as she could. Applejack, considerably turned on by her friend’s display, starts grinding into my face even harder, trying to hasten her orgasm.

It was then I knew it was time to launch them both into climactic bliss. I penetrated both their ponuts with my tongues, plunging as deep as I could go. With Applejack I treated my tongue like a tentacle, it would undulate and twist within her. I would send lusty spells over and over through my slimy little muscle, flowing throughout her body. With Rarity however I treated my tongue like a thick fucking dick. I slammed myself into her, again and again and again. Each thrust deeper than the last, not even caring if what I was doing was even hurting her. A multitude of magical mouths nipped at her ass, yanking her tail and biting her cutie mark. Rarity started to spread her legs farther apart, dipped her head straight to the floor and completely arched her back.

“Fuck me!” She’d scream “Oh yes, Yes, YES! Treat me like a fucking whore!” She threw herself completely into her lust, not even caring who was looking. And quite a few people were openly staring. The entire marketplace and stopped to a standstill as every pony watched as the elements were moaning in complete and utter ecstasy. The pair started moaning in synch, I timed Applejack’s tonguing with Rarity’s thrusts. I could feel their lusts intertwine, sharing an erotic song that sang within my ears.

Both Applejack and Rarity knew that they were cumming in front of everypony. They knew that they would be the talk of the town for months, but they didn’t care. Applejack was too lost in the new and erotic feelings she was experiencing from her asshole, her mind completely trapped in a vortex of anal bliss. Rarity on the hand felt a masochistic love for what was happening to her. She felt more liberated and free than she has ever been. The realization that all the ponies who saw her every day, who treated her as a friend, who respected her, now knew what she truly was. Just the thought that every pony who stared at her from now on would be fully aware that she was a disgusting slut caused her to vocalize every emotion trapped within her. “I’m a fucking dirt whore! Fuck my ass harder! Harder! HARDER!”

It was then I could feel the two start to crest over, their pussies dripping marecum with every passing second. I could feel Apple and Rarity reach their peak simultaneously, and it was that moment I plunged as deep as I could into both of them. The two came loud and hard, spraying cum all over the dirty floor of the city square.

The orgasm hit the two hard, both collapsing straight on to the ground. The crowd around shocked and disgusted by the display. Smiling to myself at such an amazing job well done, I quickly placed my calling card on both the ponies: A bright blue lipstick mark on Applejack which would be easily seen on her coat, and a soft yellow one on Rarity I felt would complement the darkness of her ponut. Most ponies staring at the scene completely missed the two bright lip marks on their darkest holes, they were far more concerned of trying to come up with an explanation for what just happened to any children nearby.

I trotted away from the site, quickly reforming myself back into one pony. Once I got far enough away I made myself visible again. I bounced and twirled with how pleased I was, two ponies have been saved! Now Applejack and Rarity would truly appreciate the amazing high that only anal could bring. I stood still and breathed in their sweat and arousal that they coated me in. I knew I would eventually have to bathe, but for now I stood back and basked in the glow that only a ponut lover could ever feel.

Far away at Sweet Apple Acres Big Mac felt an odd but most enjoyable tingle deep within his ass.

Author's Note

A pretty good half goofy/half clop fic if I do say so myself. Bonus points to whoever figures out what tome I was talking about.

Chapter 4: We're all pink on the inside, some of us are even pink on the outside.

A million years before ponies the mighty ponut grazed the vast empty plains, living by voices only they could hear. They first came to know the pony as the hunted knows the hunter. Before she used ponuts for naughty, naughty butt fun, she used them only for waste expulsion. The alliance with ponies would forever be fragile. For the fear she struck deep into their hearts was too deep to be dislodged. Since that neolithic moment when a ponut was first penetrated, there were those among ponies who understood this. They could see into the creature's soul and sooth the wounds they found there. The secrets uttered softly into troubled ears. These ponies were known as the whisperers. The ass whisperers.

And this ass whisperer is having a bit of trouble with the buttholes calling out to her right now. The voices were distorted like last time, implying that there was more than one pony in need of some deep, hard, naughty butt fun. However the voices of lust seemed oddly muffled, like they were being gagged.”MMmm” one would say, “Mm phmmm mhhmmm”, the other would reply. Peculiar, but after getting an introduction to apple farming from Applejack’s rump I just assume ponuts say weird stuff. Whoever these ponuts belonged to it appeared that they knew each other quite well, their lusts have become intertwined. A part of me stopped to ponder, was it possible that these two ponies were not in need of my intervention? Maybe they were perfectly capable of satisfying their lusts without my aid? If they knew each other so well that their butts were in synch, then the perfect pony to pleasure their posteriors was probably each other.

I was about to walk away when I felt something scream within me to go find them. A fiery, blinding light engulfed my thoughts, purging my ability to reason. I don’t know what it was but I felt like a switch had been flipped. A dam of horniness broke open, flooding every pore of my being with desire. At this point I didn’t give a damn whether or not they even needed my help, every thought I had was geared towards finding these ponies and eating their asses like they were my last meal.

My horn could detect they were over in the shopping district, the only part of town that could be arguably considered metropolitan. The two weren’t moving, which would make my job easier, but as I approached the muffled voices of their sex grew louder. A small voice within me called out, attempting to regain control of my body, to question what was going on. But that small voice was drowned out by the storm of need that swirled within me; a thousand images of raw passion passed in front of my eyes. I became more and more aware of toll that the months of frustration had on me, my nightly almost-wet dreams, the complete lack of reciprocation sparked a sexual rage that I could not contain.

If it was even possible for me to feel fear I would have. But every single non-sexual thought within me was effectively purged. All that mattered was my quest to pleasure these ponies, and I knew nothing would get in my way. I stormed past countless numbers of ponies, I pushed them aside without any care for them. My horn ached as I drew closer and closer to the voices.

It took me ten minutes tearing through the streets of Ponyville. But I found them, my targets. No, not my targets, my victims.

TARGETS AQUIRED: PONUT 1 – FLUTTERSHY, PONUT 2– PINKIE PIE

If I was still capable of reason I would have begun questioning what was going on. I would often pleasure ponies that knew one another, but never in a row like this. My eyes scanned the two, seeing them enjoying tea on the patio of some fancy café. Both were wearing long frilly dresses that completely covered their rumps. At any other point in time I would have found those dresses to be quite pretty, but in my butt fueled brain the dresses were complete and utter heresy. How dare they profane against the beauty that is their plots? This blasphemy must be purged.

I followed the same procedure as my previous conquest: I quickly became invisible and stretched out my tongue into a most formidable tentacle. I split myself into two and charged straight for them, anger and want screeching in my veins.

The obscene dresses were long and poofy enough that I could easily hide myself underneath. Quickly lifting their skirts and diving within, I found myself face to face with the source of those gagged voices. My horn pulsed and throbbed; I couldn’t wait any longer, I needed to have them right now. I grabbed their tails within my hooves, swung them aside and then…

Huh, guess that explains the muffling.

While I’ve had many experiences with a wide variety of kinky ponies, this was the first time I’ve ever seen any pony willing to be so brazenly public with their fetish. Staring right at me, plunged deep within their most prized hole, was a butt plug.

The plugs themselves were pure white and slicked with lube, with the one nestled within Pinkie pie appearing to have a small switch on the back. Even in my crazed state I was shocked at the scene. How long have they been doing this? Why are the elements of harmony so goddam freaky? Also, Fluttershy!? I mean Pinkie Pie I could understand, I doubt I’d be shocked if I found Gummy lodged deep within her, but demure little Fluttershy enjoys being taken up the rear?

My shock quickly wore off as my hunger reasserted itself. I’ve never been a mare to stare a gift horse in the ass and I wasn’t going to start now.

With Pinkie Pie it was a simple affair, I flicked on the switch and heard it vibrate. I wanted her to stew for a little bit as the plug buzzed away in her backside. With Fluttershy however, I wanted to have some fun. I grabbed the end of the plug and slowly pulled it out of her, staring in awe as he ponut stretched lewdly around the toy. I shoved my tongue right where her flesh met the plug, soothing her skin with my saliva. I could taste the lube she used, a familiar yet high quality brand, one that only an anal aficionado would have known about. My, my, my, aren’t you just filled with surprises dear Fluttershy?

But her being filled with just surprises was beyond insufficient in my eyes. I pushed the plug right back into her, slightly faster than I pulled out and with a bit more force. I dragged the plug out again, just until the very tip was within her, before ramming it back down. In and out, harder and faster. My hoof grew tired as I pistoned the toy but I didn’t care. The smell of her arousal filled my nose and the dress I was in trapped the smell within, amplifying the aroma.

With Pinkie Pie I stood back and watched the plug vibrate and pulse, slowly jiggling her plushy ass. But the lack of speed that it produced disgusted me, I wanted to feel the damn thing pulse in her throat. I launched a spell at it, causing the toy to vibrate even harder. Her ass jiggled more violently than before, her pussy dripped and leaked like a broken faucet.

As one half of me smiled at the Pinkie’s unintentional twerking, my other half was not so pleased. The pain in my hoof grew alongside my anger at the butt plug. A voice whispered in my ears “This plug is far too small for such a massive whore like Fluttershy”. No, something far larger would be needed to satisfy her anal lust. I pulled the tiny little thing out of her, and with my horn created a dildo of pure magic. The dildo was the size and shape of a stallion’s cock, with veins bulging all around it. I shoved my tongue deep within Fluttershy, stretching her ass so she could accommodate what I was about to stuff in her. However, that sadistic voice within stopped me before I stretched her out completely, it wanted the dick to hurt when I shoved it in. That sensual pain of being opened beyond your limit is something that could only be described as divine, and it wanted Fluttershy to experience that little slice of heaven. I placed the dildo right at her entrance, and with a bit of pushing the head slowly penetrated her. I licked and sucked at her ass, relaxing her hole as I shoved the cock deeper within. With one hard shove the flared head popped inside, her flank shuddered at the feeling. With each push I slowly was able to get farther and farther.

As I churned Fluttershy’s insides, I stared deeply at Pinkie Pie’s jiggling rump. The buzzing toy proved well at warming up the local the baker, I knew she would be loose enough for me to have my fun. I pulled the vibrator from out of her, smiling as a strand of lube tied the toy back to Pinkie Pie’s soft entrance. I slid my tongue right in, feeling her reflexively squeeze down upon my tip. I enjoyed the pressure but I would not allow it to slow me down: I pushed forward through the resistance, forcing her to stretch wider as my enhanced tongue wiggled its way deep. The heat of her ass on my snout coupled with her damp, heady musk pleased me in the naughtiest of ways. My tongue twisted and undulated, folded and sprang out, snaking its way back and forth inside her. My mind was about to be lost in the arousal when the whirring of the butt plug inspired me. With a quick spell my tongue began to hum with a low buzz, eliciting the most sensual of noises from her cunt.

As my serpentine tongue worshiped Pinkie’s ponut, my toy worked its magic on Fluttershy’s now well stretched hole. With each thrust I found more and more of the toy disappearing down her ass. The medial ring proved the hardest part getting through, it appeared to be simply too much for the Pegasus. But I was no quitter, I slicked my tongue around her anus and while conjuring up some magical lube. Though it made the front half of the cock inside her slide around much more easily, the ring was just not getting in. I then took my magic and simply stretched open Fluttershy’s asshole, forcing the yellow slut to take the cock. Once the ring passed through the rest of the dildo simply slid right in place, and in one long push the toy was buried balls deep within. Her sopping hole spewed cum all over me, an orgasm tearing right through her body. But I was nowhere near finished with her.

My tongue was buzzing away and slowly slithering its way through Pinkie’s insides. My warm breathe tingled her hole as I concentrated on coating her cavity with as much of my saliva as was possible. I chose to take full advantage of my magically enhanced tentacle: in one second I would thrash it against one of her inner walls before lashing it against the opposite the next second. I could feel Pinkie squirming at the completely alien feeling; fearing that she would try and free herself from my tongue held her flanks tightly within my hooves. Her ass was plumper than any pony I’ve ever pleasured, and softer than anything I’ve ever felt. I ran my hooves across her cheeks, massaging the fleshy pair and relishing every shudder and shake they made. My tongue waved itself up and down, left and right, before swirling all around her bottom passage. As my attack went on I slowly ramped up the vibrations emanating from my tongue, causing Pinkie’s knees to wobble. Pinkie kept clenching and releasing; whether it was an attempt to stop me or increase her own pleasure I could not say and I did not care. The wonderful tightness pulled evenly across my tongue, even reaching as far back as my throat.

While I felt Pinkie Pie was ready for my final assault Fluttershy still needed some work. While the cock was fully within her it was doing no pony any good if it wasn’t moving. I slowly pulled the dildo out of her, watching as the thick ring forced itself out of her ponut, before promptly shoving it back in. Each time I would tantalizingly pull the dick out her right up to the head before slamming right back in. I could feel her shudder and tighten every time I thrusted, but I could smell how much she loved it. Each time the medial ring forced its way in or out her, her ponut provided a weaker and weaker resistance. I could see the reddening of her anal passage, I could feel the notes of pain in the song of pleasure that her lust sang to me. But I didn’t care, I knew she was loving this, her winking growing faster with each plunge.

It was at this point when I decided to end this. I began to speed the thrusting of both my tongue and the magical dildo. With my tongue I increased the vibrations, sped up my swirls, made my thrashing more violent. With the cock I simply slammed it in harder and with more power than I did before, the bright blush on her ass bringing me nothing but delight. I alternated between the two: As I thrusted into Pinkie I pulled out of Fluttershy, and as I pistoned in to Fluttershy I wiggled out of Pinkie. I threw myself into the thrusting, the mad desire in my mind forcing me to please them with all my might. Fluttershy was winking faster than I’ve ever seen a mare wink, while Pinkie Pie couldn’t stop clamping down on me. I could feel that they had reach the cliff edge of pleasure, and with one massive push they both leaped off.

They both orgasmed hard, completely drenching me in their fluids. Pinkie pie’s knees gave out and collapsed on to the ground, while Fluttershy’s entire body went limp. I smiled at what I’ve done to the two dirty fillies, a feeling of perverse accomplishment flowed through me. I left my calling card, a bright set of lipstick marks on their now very sensitive ponuts, before replacing the two butt plugs. The one inside Fluttershy couldn’t even fill her anymore, her hole so ravaged that the tiny little toy simply plopped right out.

I pulled myself out from under their dresses before making my getaway. I could see a massive throng of ponies around us, all looking at the two elements of harmony with shocked expressions. After I made it to a quiet spot I merged my two halves into one, where my nose was struck by the combined scents of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie on my coat. That sadistic voice within me giggling at what I have just done, as my mind drifted to committing even more profane acts across the land.

A small voice inside me started to scream out that something was very wrong, that I wasn’t in control of my actions. But as before that fiery, blinding light silenced any shred of my rationality.

Author's Note

Gasp, who could possibly be behind this? What sinister butt loving force is controlling Anna? Whose ponut will she attack next? Is any ponut safe from her? Is yours?

Find out tomorrow, same clop time, same clop channel.

Chapter 5: The Ponut Strikes Back

PONUTS FOR THE PONUT GOD! BUTT PLUGS FOR THE BUTT PLUG THRONE!

If I could I would have felt ashamed at what I had done to Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, if I could. But that blinding light burned away completely any shred of my personality, leaving me with nothing but want; that damn sadistic voice replacing my own inside my brain.

The sexual fury raged within me, my higher order functions were enslaved to my ravenous lust. I became more beast than pony: I snarled, I barked, I hungered for fresh butts to ruin. My cunt was soaked slick and dripped my liquid rage on to the ground, winking madly for a release that I knew would only come at the end of my quest. It was almost comedic in a sense, even as anally focused as I was the only way my desire could scream out to the world was through my vagina. That voice in my mind whispered to keep going, keep hunting. The more asses I claimed on the voice’s behalf the closer I will be to my long awaited relief. My insane mind was torn: one half wanted to hunt as means to end my frustration, the other wanted to hunt for the sake of the hunt. I knew not which reason pleased the voice more, but I knew that the answer did not matter. All that matters now is finding my next conquest.

If any pony were to have looked at me they would have been disgusted. I was still covered in the cum of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, and rapidly adding my own brew to the mix. I looked like a parody of a mare in heat: my ass shook attempting to tantalize any pony to do me as hard as I did every pony else, punish me like I deserved, make me suffer for my sins. My back arched in a submissive posture and my mouth hung agape, desperately begging to be filled. The voice teased my vulgar display, “How inappropriate Anna! Why, I’ve only been teasing you for how long, a few months? Taking over your dreams, giving you the power to find those ponies who are desperate for a little bit of anal love. We could have kept this going for a while, me guiding you through the shadows, but then you decided to question your journey, and I was definitely not going to allow you to do that without suffering the consequence. Now do you see what happens when you choose not to use that divine tongue of yours? Look at how you debase yourself, you naughty, naughty filly. Do you really want to cum that bad? Well if so, you know exactly what to do.”

Off in the distance I could hear a large group of ponies gathering, and if I was capable of thinking I would have remembered that there was some sort of celebration going on. The reason for the celebration didn’t matter, all I knew was that there would be fresh meat at that meeting.

I shambled towards the noise, seeing hundreds of smiling ponies in the middle of the town square. My horn ached with need, it was flooded with the lust of those in the crowd. Each horny pony called out in their own way, and like tantalizing fingers pulled and teased me. I could feel their desire swirl around my throbbing horn, softly tugging with maddeningly slow jerks, cheering me on in hopes that I would find them. My body quivered and shook, my horn leaked a clear liquid of concentrated magic which dripped down my face.

The voice laughed and goaded me on, “Look at how much choice you have Anna! So many ripe asses for the taking! Go on my little pet, give me a show, show me how much you love eating ass!” My eyes darted all around the crowd, my stare creeping up the delectable backsides of every pony there. Fantasies of what I would do to every single one of them poured into my mind, their flanks burning themselves permanently into my memory, all while the voice giggled at how much control it had over me.

I was right about to make my pick when a loud booming voice caught every pony’s attention. At the center of the square there was a raised platform with a lone podium. And standing at that podium was the newest, sweetest, most innocent princess of them all: Twilight Sparkle. We all watched as she pulled out a sheaf of papers and begin a speech, making wide gestures and boasting about something important. But staring at her on the stage the noises in my mind grew silent. When I was searching the crowd a thousand possibilities sprang out, but now there only remained one. I knew what I had to do.

PONUT SIGHTED: TWILIGHT SPARKLE. BEGIN OFFENSIVE MANEUVERS

The voice within me spoke, “No, not Twilight. You may have any pony you wish, any pony in all of Equestria, but not her”. My sex driven brain did not care, my lust overriding the voice’s protests. I smiled at a wickedly delicious thought: I would do what thousands of ponies have dreamed of doing, what thousands have ponies have wished they could do but out of cowardice never tried. I would accomplish the unthinkable.

I would eat out Princess Twilight Sparkle.

The voice yelled out, begging me to stop. “NO! Don’t go after her!” It screamed, I was far too driven to even hear its demands; my love of ponuts was so vast it could block out the sun. And what ponut is more prized than that of a princess? With one spell I vanished, and in a flash I dashed through the crowd. I dodged ponies to the left of me, weaved through ponies on the right of me, and with a massive leap I landed on the wooden platform, right behind Twilight.

I crept towards the princess like a lioness stalking her prey. My mouth salivated at the sight of that tender purple flesh of hers. You ever see something that looks so amazingly delicious your jaw starts to hurt? Well Twilight’s ass was so divine that every muscle in my body started to hurt. I must have looked completely insane, my wide open mouth, my tongue flopping out, my drool dripping on to the floor. I had to have her. I needed to have her.

With my teeth blaring I launched myself at her flank.

“And I would like every pony here to give a hoof for the ponyville marching baaaaaand!”

I clamped my jaw hard onto her cute, purple butt, forcing her to make a delicious yelp. Fortunately the Ponyville marching band was belting out a loud and distracting song, covering up the princess’ little scream. Fortunate for Twilight that is, I couldn’t give even the slightest damn about who saw my newest toy getting her rocks off.

Her flesh was so amazingly soft, my tongue stroked her cheek lovingly. I let go of her flank before launching down at the other side of her ass, biting hard. I kept alternating my bites, left cheek then right cheek, hard and then soft. I could hear Twilight stutter and mumble her way through her speech, adorable little squeaks would punctuate every other word.

“I-it is my most p-proudest mo-GAH!-ment to a-nounce the newest e-e-e-dition to our city hallll…” I could not understand why she kept going on with her speech. I guess when you’re completely shocked your mind just falls back to the familiar, and in this case it was her saying whatever it was she wrote down. But it was not my place to ask questions, I was put on this planet to eat ponuts and that was what I was going to do.

I pulled apart Twilight’s cheeks, gaining a lovely view of her amazing crack. A dark purple hole peered back at me, puckered like a virgin pleading for a kiss. I obliged and placed my wet lips right on her ass, feeling brazen enough to slip in some tongue. Twilight in her shock moaned, though it was drowned out by a large horn from the marching band, and clamped down hard. Aw, how sweet, she doesn’t want to let me go. I began to softly suck at her asshole, drawing more and more of that velvety plump flesh deep into my mouth. The sucking helped weaken Twilight’s hold on my tongue, and slowly I began snaking my way within.

I set off a spell, slowly lengthening my tongue. I wanted to take my time with this one, my brain screamed out for sex but even it knew not to rush such a delectable meal. Every inch my tongue penetrated elicited newer and lewder noises out of Twilight. She tried to cover up those little moans she made, “The n-new accountancy depart-OH GOD!-ment *cough cough* yes the new accountanc-yyyyy, Ahem, department will bring much n-needed f-financial…” It was utterly adorable how she thought she could cover up how much she loved having her ass eaten in public. But I knew if I truly wanted to break my little princess I’d have to up my game.

My tongue, now engorged and elongated to one anal ravaging tentacle, slowly twisted and turned within her. I stretched her insides with everything single screw of my most sensual of muscles. It was almost like I was dancing with Twilight’s insides, more romantic than anything done in a ballroom, more erotic than anything done on the club floor.

My lips, envious of my tongue stealing the show with its tonsil tango with Twilight’s rectum, went back to sucking on her ponut. I felt the soft plumpness within my mouth, a sign that this ponut had never been penetrated or used as it was meant to. It’s been so long since I’ve had a truly virginal asshole like this, I basked in the amazing feeling of it squishing and squeezing with every movement of my lips. The wonderful little whimpers whenever my teeth raked against her love button almost made me cum. Almost.

The sexual fury reasserted itself, it screamed at me to end this frou-frou romantic crap. Treat her like the fucking whore we all know she is, it would say. I recalled my previous conquests and sent off a spell to vibrate my tongue. The magical buzzing tingling its way through Twilight’s violet flanks, causing a soft little jiggle. Hearing her catch her breath mid-sentence as my hum swept throughout her body just fueled my unconquerable lust. Harder and faster my tentacle would thrash, stronger and more drawn out would be my vibrational pulses. But my rage would not be appeased, not by something as barely lewd as this. This is the ponut of a princess, and something so divine must be shown the full range of what an asshole can feel, it must be shown what an asshole was born to experience.

My fury remembered what I did to Fluttershy, and knew that it had to top that sexy escapade. The madness within my mind conjured the thickest, longest dildo it could. It looked like a caricature of a stallion’s cock: bulging veins ran like rivers throughout the toy, and the bulbous head was as thick as my neck. It was imbued with all of my lust, even the slightest touch with this cock would set your body aflame with the most maddening need.

I forced myself to pull out of Twilight, though it pained me to do so the hard shudder that ripped through her body almost made up for it. I took a second to admire her tight little ass, watching her now lubed up hole puckering open and closed, calling out to the world to be touched, to caressed, to be filled. My painfully aching horn leaked, coating my horn in a sheen of sexual magic before soaking itself into my fur. The magic buzzed and hummed wherever it touched, both soothing and shocking my very sensitive head nub. The mix of smells was beyond potent, the concoction of musk and sweat intoxicated my already sex obsessed brain. I readied myself, lining up the dildo right dead center with her ass, before beginning my plunge.

The magic inside the cock spread all the way through Twilight from anus to snout, forcing its way out of her mouth in the form of a feminine moan. If my mind was still capable of noticing anything other than Twilight’s butt I would have seen that no one was even paying attention to the princess, they were far too busy gawking at that silliness of the marching band. But mind was trapped by the curves of Sparkle’s rear, and by my act of slowly sliding the giant cock in. With each second the head slid deeper within her hole, with each second her ponut stretched wider and wider open. Just knowing I was taking Twilight’s anal virginity gave me a sickening glee; there’s just something amazing about finding something pure and defiling it, isn’t there?

It took me the better part of a minute to get that flared head in, Twilight was far too small and the dildo was far too big for this to be a quick job. But the sexual magic within my toy loosened Twilight up, both physically and mentally: I could see Twilight gape open her mouth, I smiled as her eyes glazed over.

With bated breath I watched as Twilight’s hole stretched to the thickest part of the head, trying its hardest to resist falling over the edge. But with one gentle push the cock head made its way in, and her ass hole snapped shut on the thick shaft. A high pitched squeak found its way through Twilights throat, her mind as far gone as my own, drowning in a sea of unending lust. But there was so much more cock left to go, and so much of Twilight’s mind left to break. I shoved the cock into her and watched as her bottom twisted and distorted with each vein it ran over.

My tongue grew weary of being the second fiddle in my conquest and chose to slather itself all around Twilight’s ponut. The coating of my saliva eased the journey of the toy all the while eliciting cute whimpers from the purple princess. I knew I needed to do more: I kissed and suckled on her ass, stretching her hole wide easing the passage of the monstrous dick. Once it reached the medial ring her ponut again tried to resist, but the magical lust pouring out the cock proved far too powerful for Twilight. Her ass relaxed itself and willingly submitted as the ring slid its way through, and with one long push the entire toy was within.

The magic within the toy unleashed itself throughout Twilight’s body, all the thoughts about her speech or where she was died a quiet death. Her mind fizzled and fogged, the only thing the princess could focus on was the pleasure burning inside her flanks.

If the crowd wasn’t so lost in the spectacle of the marching band, and I wasn’t invisible, they would have been spectators to one hell of a sight. Both of us were covered head to toe in sweat, with my horn coating my face slick with sexual magic. Twilight’s face was one of complete rapture, her mouth wide opened, her cute pink tongue hanging out, her hooves gripping tightly on the podium in front of her in a poor attempt to hold her up. Her speech had fallen on to the floor, and quickly absorbed the fluids that were pouring out of both us. Sticky columns of our lust connecting us to the ground below, our cunts winking whorishly in synch as we were both equally turned on by the depravity.

With an agonizingly slow pull I dragged the cock right out of Twilight, just up to the flared head. A frustrated whimper came out of her, the delicious feeling of fullness being replaced by an unwelcoming emptiness. But I wouldn’t let my princess suffer so, and in one long stroke I shoved the toy right back in. Again I dragged it out, and again I pushed it back, each time gaining a bit more speed, each time gaining a bit more force. I smiled as I watched as her tiny little tongue flop back and forth with each thrust, like a pink dancer lost in the rhythm of my thrusting. Faster and faster I went, the cock pushing out all those worthless thoughts out Twilight’s head, leaving nothing but pleasure. With each push her breathing grew more labored, with each push her moaning grew more louder, and with each push her eyes slowly rolled back into her head.

I could feel Twilight draw closer to the edge of climax, and I knew it was my duty to hurl her as hard off that cliff I could. With more force than I ever gave Fluttershy I pistoned the cock, beating every inch of it in to her. But I knew I could up the ante far more than this. With a strong pull I removed the cock completely from her hole, giving a Twilight a second to breathe. The shock of the cold air filling her gaping ass shook her to her very core, but my reprieve would only last a mere second. With one hard thrust I rammed the entire dick right back into her, and then again with one mighty tug I pulled the entire thing right out of her. The new sensation of being completely filled and then completely emptied broke Twilight: her previous feminine moans gave way to hard throaty grunts. I was hypnotized by the rhythmic stretching of her ponut, going from lewdly gaped before opening wide over the flared head, closing hard against the shaft before popping over the ring, and then completely reversing its pattern as I pulled it out.

Twilight’s eyes have completely rolled their way back into her skull, her tongue flipped and flopped with reckless abandon, and the ink on her speech was washed away by cum bath it was receiving. My hoof was burning at the force at which I was fucking Twilight but I didn’t care, I could feel her get to the very edge of orgasm, staring deep over the precipice. I pulled the toy as hard out of her as I could, and with the force of a thousand suns I slammed the cock right into her ass, kicking Twilight hard into the depths of bliss.

Twilight’s throaty groans was replaced with a high pitched wail, her legs gave out from holding herself aloft, and unceremoniously she fell on to the ground. I smiled as I observed the princess, lying unconscious in a puddle of her cum, her tummy expanding and contracting with each breath. Feeling awfully parched from such a great accomplishment I lapped and sucked at the puddle below, drinking deeply the sexual brew. My thirst thus sated I relished at the taste of Twilight’s wine, and how completely it coated my tongue and throat. I stared lovingly at her now destroyed anus, how it was pathetically contorted in a wide gape. I conjured up some lipstick, bent my neck down and gave her ponut a deep kiss, enjoying the heat that it poured onto my lips. With my calling card brightly shining within her crack, I happily made my way through the crowd.

Oh how amazing that was! My sexual rage was appeased, at least for the time being, and I merrily skipped and twirled down the street.

It was then my thoughts slowly started to come back one by one, my rationality screaming within my mind, the realization of what just happened hitting me like a ton of bricks.

What the hell was that voice? Is it gone? How long until it comes back? I attacked a fucking princess! Fear struck deep within me, my mind raced to formulate a plan of what to do. Knowing that I would only have a short amount of time before the town guard would try and hunt me down, I started to think of good hiding place where I could lay low long enough to get to the very bottom of this.

And just as I had settled on a somewhere I knew I wouldn’t be found, I felt something hard whack me right in the back of the head.

In my final moments before unconsciousness gripped me I could feel myself being magically lifted and then thrown into a carriage. It was then I heard that terrible voice, no longer within the confines of my mind, but angrily whispering into my ear.

“Your journey ends here.”

Author's Note

Dun, Dun, Dunnn!

So the penultimate chapter has finally arrived. Sorry for taking so much time, real life kind of got in the way and I wasn't able to work on PPPP for a bit.

Also super thanks for all the comments, I loved reading every single one.

Chapter 6: The One Ring

One Ponut to rule them all, One Ponut to find them.
One Ponut to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
In the land of Canterlot where the big booties lie.

Getting hit in the head hurts. A lot. I couldn’t fathom how long I was out, my brain was a flurry of disjointed thoughts and pain. It took several minutes of taking deep shallow breaths before I was able to get a hold on what was going on.

The first thing I noticed was that the voices were all gone, no sexual rage, no sadistic voice. It was a nice feeling of finally being completely alone within my own mind, though my ever present lust was still there, being all ever present and lusty.

The second thing I noticed was the fact I couldn’t move. Now normally I would like to say that not being able to move is something you could figure out quite easily, but the pain scorching through my skull took up most of my cognitive focus. Getting hit in the head hurts a lot, see above. From what I could tell I was fastened to a wall, my legs bound in an x shape with some kind of metallic shackles. I tried using magic to force open my bindings but my horn seems to die every time I try and use it. I could feel a small metal ring snug around the base of it, probably cutting off my magical abilities.

I opened my eyes and tried to focus on my surroundings, though I really didn’t get far with that. The room was dark, though there was a light source somewhere behind me. I could faintly make out the stonework all around, meaning that I was in a dungeon. Fear started to slowly creep into my mind, where was I? Who is doing this to me?

I was about to go into a full blown panic attack when I heard hoof steps approach from the darkness. Two robed figures stood in front of me; I watched the pair for a few moments before one of them spoke:

“So, you’ve finally woken up.”

The voice, the voice! It was that voice from before, the one that’s been controlling me the whole damn time! “Who are you!? Why am I here?! What have you done to me?!” I screamed. It was then the two figures pulled down there hoods, and standing before me stood the two most powerful beings in all of Equestria: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Oh, my god I totally did not see this coming despite the foreshadowing.

“My dearest Anna,” The voice spoke, who I could see now belonged to Princess Celestia, “you shouldn’t get so angry with us, we only wished to give you what you’ve always wanted”

“What I’ve wanted? What I’ve wanted?! When did I want to be mind controlled?!” I yelled back.

“That was a mistake. We may have gone a little bit too far with our help” Celestia said apologetically, “You see, a few months ago Luna brought to my attention that very interesting desire of yours”

“Yes,” Luna interjected, “We’ve seen those fantasies that played out in your mind for quite a while, and it has always been our duty to help all of our loyal subjects reach their full potential, even if it is a socially questionable trait like yours.”

“However, what started out as aiding you here and there seems to have spiralled out of control. We kind of got a taste for your…back door shenanigans and were having far too much fun.” Celestia explained.

“So…So it was you who sent me after all those ponies. But why the elements? Why them?”

“That’s because they seriously need to get laid” Celestia said flatly. “I love of those girls, I truly do, but they are the most stuck up innocent bores I have ever met. Fortunately you came along and loosened them all up. I originally wasn’t big fan of your exhibitionism, but seeing all those shocked expressions was just such an erotic experience. And a slight little memory wipe spell was no big deal for me. Didn’t you ever wonder in all the months you’ve been doing this no pony has ever reported those strange occurrences to the police? No mention of the most powerful ponies in Equestria getting magically butt fucked on the news?”

“So that explains that, but what about my dreams?”

“That was my doing.” Luna began, “At first I just wanted to give you what you wanted, pleasant dreams where you could fulfill your wildest fantasies. But I must admit your darker desires, the ones where you were thrown about and used, well they struck a chord with my domineering heart. We were not planning on keeping you so frustrated, but it was a lustful curiosity of ours to see what things you would come up with the farther we pushed.”

“So curiosity? That’s it? That’s why you took over my mind and twisted my perfectly innocent love of ponuts into some sort of weird mind altering fetish?!”

Celestia was unperturbed by my outburst, “No, it goes deeper than that. Though Luna’s involvement may have originally been to learn, it became our wish to train you. We all know that your butt loving techniques were beyond sub-par, it would take you hours before you’d make any pony cum from your rimming, and you never even thought to use your magic.” I was about to yell out against such an insult to my ass eating proficiency, but I do remember I was kind of terrible at it for a long while. Butt munching is a skill that takes time to develop, and the last few months did hone my skills. “Though our subjects may not see us as so we are ponies just like you, and we have needs. Needs that only you could fulfill. Now that you have gained so much experience, that you’ve learned so many ways to use that tongue of yours, it is now time for us to reap the rewards of your training.”

One part of me delighted at the idea of eating out the two god-princesses, while the other half remember the suffering I had endured at their hooves. “And what if I refuse to be your toy?”

Luna grinned at my defiance, “Go ahead.” She spoke as she slowly walked towards me, “The only reason you haven’t been thrown in jail is due to our meddling. You know as well as us that what you’ve been up to is a beyond criminal: sexually assaulting all those ponies, even going as far as attacking the elements. They would lock you up for life for what you’ve done.” I yelled back, “But it was you who made me do that!” Luna laughed, “Go ahead, tell them that. What jury will believe you? ‘Oh it was the voices in my head that made me attack every pony, blame the princesses for making me do this.’ They would not just throw you in jail, they would wrap you up in a strait jacket and toss you in a padded cell.”

Luna took one more step, placing her lips right up to my ear, “I’m pretty sure they’d go as far as muzzling you. Imagine, locked up forever, never being able to lick another ponut for the rest of your life.”

No more rimming, no more eating ass, no more shoving my face between a set of massive butt cheeks and going “FLUBAFLUBAFLUBA” like a mad mare. A fate worse than death.

I hung my head in defeat, “What do you need me to do?”

With one magical tug Luna chucked off her robe and spun around, her pale blue ass inches away from my face, “Me first” She said. She grinned at me before slamming herself on to my snout.

I only had a second to admire the darkness of her butt before her cheeks blocked out my vision. I felt her soft fur tickle my nose and the pulse of warmth heat up my muzzle. It was the first time in my waking hours I was taken like this, the first time I was the one being used. The tightness of the manacles around my ankles, the force of her rear keeping my head in place, every single bit of my bondage set my body ablaze. With the lack of any other options available I did the only thing I could do: I licked.

I ran my tongue around each and every crevice of her crack, relishing the appreciative jiggles of her ass every time I took a detour down into the center of her hole. My lips wrapped themselves around her puckered ponut and gently sucked on it, each of one of my tugs reciprocated with soft cooing noises out of the moon princess. I wanted to give Luna my all; I slowly snaked my way in to her, lapping her inner walls with every passing second. But it was when my tongue was at my deepest length that I felt my tongue stop moving, a magical force keeping it stone still. Luna slowly pulled herself off me, her asshole gliding itself on my tongue, before slowly pushing herself back onto my face. In and out, in and out, over and over again her anus pulled away from me before floating down to give a quick peck on my lips.

Luna’s face fuck was painfully slow, teasing me in a cruel but oh so sensual way. But right when I was at the peak of my frustration, the princess pulled herself off me. With Luna’s flanks no longer blocking my vision my eyes were able to fully appreciate her ass; I admired her perky cheeks and the blending of blue on her fur with the dark mahogany of her crack. But what my eyes focused on most was the long, sparkling bridge of saliva connecting my tongue right to her now gaped ponut. Luna turned around, a sadistic smirk plastered on her face. She walked up beside me, placed her lips right to my ear and whispered, “As much as I would love to continue, Celestia and I have an agreement. She will own that lovely tongue of yours during the day, but at night, when you are dreaming those naughty little dreams of yours, you will be all mine. Mine to play with, mine to defile, mine to do with however I please. Sweet dreams.” She kissed my cheek before disappearing off into the shadows.

All that remained in that dark room was me and Celestia. “Now that Luna has had her fun, it’s my turn. But this dungeon is awfully dreary isn’t it? How about we go somewhere far more intimate?” Celestia spoke, and with a flash of her horn we teleported away.

My eyes were blinded by the brightness of this new room, straining to focus on what was around me. It took me a few seconds before I finally looked around and realized where I was: the throne room. I was confused, she wanted to fuck me here? I also noticed that I no longer was manacled and could freely move however I wished, though I still couldn’t use my magic. I looked at Celestia, who was smiling at the confusion apparent on my face. I asked, “What’s going on? Why did you free me? What are we doing here?”

Celestia replied, “While it would be fun dragging you to your fate, it would please me so much to watch you willfully submit to me.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Celestia turned her attention to her throne, and with a quick flick of her magic the seat of it opened up, revealing a pony sized cavity. I slowly approached the chair, my eyes gazing at this hidden compartment. The hole was lined with some kind of soft padded material, designed for a pony to comfortably lay down on, adorned with nothing save for a single pillow. The sides of the compartment held silk lined cuffs with a short chain, long enough to give a pony enough room to move and re-adjust, but short enough to take away complete range of motion. The seat itself was designed with a face sized hole, large enough that a pony could comfortably fit their snout through, but small enough that if some pony were to be sitting on the chair the hole would be completely covered up. My eyes widened when I realized what Celestia was asking me to do.

“Do you know how boring being the princess is? How many dull nobles come to me with their petty problems? How many of my hours are just me sitting down on that throne, listening to ponies drone on and on? I knew I was going to go mad one of these days, but then you decided to show up. A pony who had no place in our society, a pony who hid herself in shame. I’ve watched you pine for a world where you’d be accepted, a world where you’d fit in. I knew then we both could solve each other’s problem. Feast your eyes on my throne Anna, I’m giving you the opportunity to use those skills of yours as much as you want. A place where your love of eating ass would be truly appreciated. A place where you belong. All you have to give up is that pesky freedom of yours.”

A place where I belong. Her words filled my head with so much hope. All those lonely nights, all those days i spent hiding my talent in embarrassment, over. A place where I could truly be myself, and all I’d have to give up was being free. My mind weighed the options: freedom or eat out princess Celestia for the rest of my life.

The answer was simple.

I walked in to the throne, feeling the soft padding underneath my hooves. I slowly laid myself down, my back wiggling itself a comfortable groove. Celestia magically attached the cuffs to all my legs; the click of each four cuffs caused my heart to skip a beat. I gave an experimental tug on them, seeing that the links were long enough so I could move myself enough to re-position if need be, but short enough to give me that delicious taste of submission. I laid my head down on the soft pillow as the princess closed in the seat, blocking out all light save for whatever I could see through the hole.

Celestia peered down the hole at my face, flashing me a wide toothy grin. “I hope you’re comfortable down there, because I have no plan to get off you for a long, long while.” In an instant Celestia’s head disappeared, before immediately being replaced by her absolutely lovely flanks. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.” As she lowered herself down on to my face she raised up her tail, exposing herself completely to me.

It was glorious.

The bright white of her fur clashed heavily with the pitch blackness that was her ponut. I could never have imagined how utterly lewd her crack was. Every part of Celestia was the very pinnacle of elegance, but her ass was puffed and puckered out, the sign of mare who enjoys a thorough ass fucking. I watched and memorized every crevice and fold of her anus as she descended down on to me, wishing gravity would pull her even faster.

It was right at that moment I felt it, the pure unbridled fury of her lust. Wave after wave of desire blasted through my face, conquering every single one of my thoughts. It was almost like when she had controlled me from before, but this time I was her willing slave than her unwitting pawn. Every fiber of my being was dedicated to pleasing her, my mouth salivating at the chance of showing my princess the obedience she truly deserves. Celestia truly was waiting for this for a long time.

My vision was slowly fading to black with every passing second; those beautiful, fat cheeks slowly filled up my entire view. I pulled my tongue out as far as I could, dying for a taste of that divine derriere. With every inch Celestia drew closer to me the more I lost myself in her lust, her naked sexuality teasing every nook and cranny of my being.

The second the tip of my tongue touched her ass could only be described as divine. The full brunt of her sexually charged magic burned its way through me, my mind’s eye filled with a thousand fantasies; all of which were of me submitting to my sun goddess. Her cushiony ass draped over my snout, cuddling my face, warming my very soul. Soon her cheeks enveloped my entire face, the soft tickle of her fur driving me to greater heights of ecstasy. It was like being hugged in the naughtiest of ways.

I could feel my tongue begin to swirl itself around her anus, soothing my princess’ burning lust. My body no longer responded to any of my commands, they simply obeyed whatever orders Celestia’s lust demanded of me, and I couldn’t be happier. I wanted to plunge myself deep within her ass but I knew that this affair was not for my sake, I existed purely to cater to every whim and fantasy of the mare’s beautiful ponut. My lips slowly kissed and sucked at her ass, slowly kissing every part of her crack; my teeth took soft nibbles all over her majestic crevice.

My nostrils were completely blocked, but I truly didn’t care. Air was a far second on my list of needs, while pleasing Celestia’s asshole conquered the very top. I licked and sucked and nibbled and kissed while my eyes slowly rolled back into my head, my consciousness gladly sacrificing itself in order to bring a few more seconds of pleasure to this delicious puckering hole. It was at that moment I heard Celestia’s voice whisper into my mind, “Oh? Trying to get out of servicing me so soon, slave? I’m not about to let you sleep on the job, regardless of how much you may enjoy the dreams my sister traps you in. Breathe my little pet, for I want you fully aware of everything I’m doing to you.” My lungs forced themselves to fill, and magically I found myself capable of breathing, despite Celestia’s considerable ass blocking every part of my face.

I partly wondered if Celestia thought that granting me air would aid me in focusing on the task at hoof, because every breath I took was filled with the lusty musk of my princess. I knew what a mare in heat smelled like, I knew what the scent of a powerful orgasm smelled like, but this sexual perfume was beyond that. The aroma of sweat and cum tingled as they dragged themselves deep into my chest. I could even taste the pheromone filled tonic in my throat, spurring on my tongue to keep lapping away at her mistress.

I could feel my entire body disappear, my entire focus being split on the bondage that I was in and the tantalizing tactile feelings of my mouth. I could feel my own want slowly beginning to rise, though I knew that my own desires barely mattered as I knew that with every lick my goddess drew ever closer to orgasm. The feeling of helpless submission forced me to push my tongue inside Celestia, though I knew that the only reason I was even allowed into my princess was because she demanded it.

I lapped away like a dehydrated mare, desperate for the quenching fill of her mistress’ cum. With each lick I gave Celestia’s lust rewarded me with more and more pleasing feelings. The bite of the cuffs on my ankles, the stench of cum on my nose, the very reality I was nothing more than the ass eating plaything of the most powerful pony in existing drive me closer and closer to orgasm. I could feel myself at getting ever nearer to the precipice, months and months of sexual frustration reaching its finale. But I knew that my pleasure was a mere side effect of eating out this amazing specimen, the purpose of my existence was to please Celestia’s ponut, and that was what I was going to do.

My lips pulled her well fucked anus into my mouth; I squeezed her squishy soft ponut as her inner walls rhythmically clamped and loosened themselves on my enraptured tongue. I could feel her lust beginning to reach its own zenith. Every thought in my brain was absorbed in a thousand sexual fantasies; her ass forced me to envision myself living a life of complete servitude to Celestia. Every second was stretched out into hours as my mind lost itself in desire; we both were on the very edge of climax, staring deep into a freeing orgasm that’s eluded us both for so long.

“Fuck me hard, slave. Make me fucking cum!” Her voice commanded.

And in one quick thrust I felt both of our dams burst. My body screeched as my long awaited orgasm tore itself through me, shaking my very bones. I felt Celestia squeeze hard against my tongue, her contractions pulling my love muscle deeper inside her ass. The cooling squirt of her cum splashing across my face, marking me as her loyal bitch, was both the most satisfying and most freeing thing I have ever felt. As we both slowly came of our amazing climaxes I could hear her sadistic voice echoing in my brain:

“You did well my pet, but we are nowhere near done.”

Epilogue:

True to both their words I spent my days in the service of Celestia while my dreams were completely taken over by Luna. Each morning I would wake up from my chambers within the palace, brush my teeth, and have a light breakfast before making my way into the throne room. I always showed up well before any pony would think of coming here, and I took advantage of my privacy to quickly slip into the hidden hole inside Celestia’s throne. Soon enough my sun princess would grace my undeserving face with her divine flanks, and I quickly pleasured her ass all throughout the day. I could spend my time telling you about the interesting political and economic deals Celestia made while perched upon my snout, but let’s be honest no pony cares about that boring nonsense. After her day court was finished and all the nobles and their retinues have left Celestia would free me from her throne, commenting both on what she enjoyed and felt I needed to work on. I appreciated the advice, I knew my task to become the greatest puckered ponut princess pleaser was one that will never finish. My nights however was nowhere near as simple: Luna was a creative ruler and loved devising newer and lewder scenarios for me to delightfully suffer through. I was glad that my dreams would no longer end in complete sexual frustration, but the moon princess made sure very well that I paid heavily for each orgasm I had under her hooves. A price I had absolutely no problem paying, though I must say my nocturnal adventures are a story for another time.

Author's Note

WOOOO, It's finally complete!

Thank you guys for all the lovely comments and views, as well as waiting for as long as you guys did with this series. It truly made me feel awesome seeing how much you guys liked the series!

The story changed massively from when I originally wrote the first draft: It was going to start off with Anna asking Discord for help and him using her for his means, but then I realized it would be hotter if Celestia was the one pulling all the strings. I also didn't plan on having Luna be involved with the story, but so many of you both requested in the comments and PM'd me for her to be there, so I decided to tie her into the tale.

I also realized I never gave a description of what Anna actually looks like, though I feel I shouldn't comment on her too much, I kind of want you guys to make up your own minds about what her appearance is. I intended for her to look like a generic background pony, one of those ponies you wouldn't have given a second thought to. The only real identifier I wanted her to have was a donut shaped cutie mark, similar to the picture in the title. I was going to make a plot point of how every pony mistakes her for a baker back in the first draft, but couldn't find a way to make it work here.

If you're curious, prior to her current employ with the royal princesses Anna used to make ends meet working for a local donut shop. She also made ends meet with a double ended dildo, but that's a story for another time.