I woke up with a pounding headache and the beeping of a heat monitor. I felt stiff and when I moved my hand to check my wrist-watch, I saw the tube of an IV unit. I could tell I was ICU. Five mares bolted into my hospital room. They where doing checks and asking my questions so fast I couldn't breath without getting a nose full of pony-breath.
"SHUT UP!" I snapped without thinking. "JUST BACK UP, ALRIGHT? WHO EVEN ARE YOU?! RAINBOW COLORED MYSTICAL-CREATURES TRYING TO DO TESTS ON ME AND PESTERING ME WITH QUESTIONS?!"
"Patient seems to be aggressive. Restrain him," a white unicorn, wait, unicorn? "Give him something to calm him."
"No!" I say loudly in response, the annoying beep of heart monitor growing faster by the minute. "I'll calm down if you tell me what the HELL is going on? Where am I?!"
"Equestria," a white alicorn with a rainbow mane that magically flows said. "And these are; Luna, Cadence, Twilight, I'm Celestia, and those two nurses are Nurse Mercy and Nurse Redheart."
"Thank you," I say, now calmed. "Why am I here?"
"We found you lying on the ground," Twilight, the purple alicorn, said in a nice, soothing voice. "You where unconscious and we couldn't get you to give any response. We brought you here and called in the two best nurses to look after you. You've been in a coma for nine weeks. You also had a bag of some sort of clothes, body-wash, shampoo, a sponge, and some magazines. Oh yeah! We found a wallet with some sort of license with the name Matthew Sarr-Sar- how do you pronounce your last name? And a book series, we found that, or, at least we think it's a series. The books where called The Hunger Games Catching Fire and Mockingjay."
"Where did you put that stuff?" I ask calmly. "And I'm not going into my last name. I just want my stuff."
They gave me my stuff without hesitation and I made sure everything was intact. It was. Good, they didn't bother look at my magazines. I make sure all my clothes are here, they are, and all my bodywash is fine.
"Listen," I begin. "I want to be out of the hospital. Now. Is that an option? If so, then I need somewhere to stay. So, what are my options?"
"Well," Twilight said. "I'm more than happy to let you stay in the guest bedroom of my castle. It'll ad a little more life to it. Just let me ask you something."
"Ask away."
"Where are you from?"
"Earth, why?"
"Tell me about it," Twilight said in genuine curiosity.
"Not now," I say. "I just want out of this hospital right now."
Three hours later, I'm sitting on a train to Ponyville. Twilight's sitting across from me. I stare out the window taking in the scenery I'll never see at home in Tampa Bay. I wish I lived in the country and not the city.
Finally, after a seventeen hour ride, we made it to Ponyville. We walked along the paths, earning looks of curiosity, interest, sexual interest, and horror. After the eternity of a walk, we finally made it to Twilight's castle. She showed me the bedroom I would stay in and said she had princess work to do.
I set my stuff down the bed and went to take a shower. I scrubbed down hard and toweled off for a good five minutes. I put on clean underwear and climbed into bed, ready to try and find a job tomorrow so I can pull my own weight.
Morning came in with the sun shining in my eyes. This hurt, to say the least. I put on the clothes I was wearing yesterday and walk downstairs.
"Twilight," I said. "You got anywhere looking for someone like me who can play the clarinet or something along those lines? Or some money I could borrow to start a business?"
"I'll help you with the later," Twilight says cheerfully. "I'd be obliged! Lemme get my bits, here you go! Twelve thousand bits! Should be enough to start a business! I'll show you where you can find some empty buildings for sale."
We walked along the roads of Ponyville, this time getting pointed at and such things. We finally made it the shop that specializes in selling business lots, I forget what it's called, and buy a nine thousand dollar shop. Looks like I'm going to start a business venture!
"Twilight," I say as we walk to my new shop location. "Thanks for doing this, taking me in and lending me some cash."
"Well," Twilight began. "It's not a problem! I get paid twenty thousand bits a month, I've got money to spare!"
We arrived at the empty building. I'm going to use the other three thousand bits to buy the stuff to start my business, which will be an instrument repair shop, and anything left over I'll give back to Twilight. I look around the building and go upstairs, which leads into a two bedroom apartment. It's a nice place.
I do some research on music repair shops and order all the correct tools, leaving me with a flat out zero bits. I set up the shop and put a grand opening banner up above the door. The day goes slowly. On;y three ponies come in, a DJ named Vinyl Scratch, a cellist mare named Octavia, and another mare named Lyra Heartstrings. Other than that, nopony came to my shop. The prices are on a flat line, I have things to sell and I play the radio. But I do make one hundred fifty bits. I head back to the castle and grab my stuff. bumping into a purple and green baby dragon.
"Sorry," I say. "Wasn't paying attention."
"Oh," the dragon said. "You must be the human Twilight was talking about! Name's Spike the Dragon! And I accept your apology."
I give a nod and walk back to my new apartment. I made sure I borrowed an air mattress from Twilight, and and a blanket. That night doesn't bring sleep. Same with the next three, but business booms, I fill my apartment with some furniture, which isn't much, but I had a futon in my room.
Well, eight weeks pass and I get a foalsitting job. This might be difficult...
Author's Note
Well, chapter one of my crappy human-in-equestria story.
Hope you like it!
If you don't, give me CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!
