Royal dirty laundry.

"Oh sweet...me, I just know that Draconius is going to make his move today!" Princess Celestia said as her hands shook the cup of tea she had every morning. In truth, the princess was a nervous wreck and a mess. Her mane, which was usually well kept and ethereal, had gone limp and corporeal with worry. The vibrant mix of the stars themselves and a space rainbow; had gone dull, flat, and the color scheme muted.

She was in shock because; well, last Monday when Celestia had opened the door to her office, she found that Draconius laying across her desk. Discord had a cowboy hat on his head; a tight sleeveless jacket vest and black back less chaps on his legs, his full foot long ridged hodgepodge of a dick poking out from his claws he held it like a bit of cord.

He smiled at her as lust gleamed in a green glow in his eyes; neon signs glowed above him, they said things like, 'live nude,' 'foot long draconian meat pole,' and simply a big red glowing XxX.

"Hello princess, got a side of hot beef steak for you after a "long" "hard" day on the ranch" he said taking a riding crop from thin air and smacking his rear with it. Celestia could only revile in disgust.

"Holy hay bales Discord! Get the buck off my desk and put some damn clothes on!" Celestia said turning away from the elongated and engorged cock Discord was slapping back and forth making it flop and wave, limp then soild hard in between his claws.

"Awww come on sun butt!" He said stripping all his clothes off with a single snap of his claws. "We've known each other for how long? I know you've been wanting to try a bit of the more...exotic tastes than the usual stallions on the royal guard." He said smirking deviously. His words making Celestia gasp and blush as memories of the several gaurds she invited to take turns rutting her came back,the idea that the Princess was throwing orgies with her own guard would be the scandal of the century.

"Discord; I beg you, whatever you want I'll do it, just please don't go public with this. Celesta said taking a seat at her desk and trying to get to work.

"Oh Princess please, I know when I screwed up, if you don't want to go a few rolls in the hay , so be it, I'm more surprised you're not going to punish me for my lewd behavior." He said conjuring up a chair, then a smoking jacket and pipe.

"You...want me to punish you?" Celestia sais taken aback by his words.

"I think you should, I've been a bad little Draconius." He said folding his arms and making a childish little noise as he did. Celestia looked at him with a look of confusion but she shrugged and decided to play along, if all went well at the very least, he'd play some silly mind game that would ultimately lead to Celestia agreeing to allow him to do something goofy, in exchange for taking weather duty from the pegasus ponies granting them all a day off.

"Okay Discord, if you can mind your behavior for ONE whole week then I'll personally give you anything your heart desires...except sex with me!" She quickly added.

"Oh calm your royal tits princess, I know when to quit while I still have some dignity left." For the next week; Discord surprisingly kept up his end of the bargain, he didnt paint facial hair on the portraits, didnt turn into a mosaic to mess with the stained glass, he didnt even fill the pool with vanilla custard. He was helpful, polite and...very out of character. Celestia was sure he was up to something, waiting for her to lower her guard, she wasn't going to fall for his chicanery.

Now it was a week later and she sat at her desk sipping tea with her hands shaking and tail and mane discolored. Possibly the worst of all this, was the laundry was starting to pile up, and it showed. The robe she wore while she sipped had been badly stained, and her panties? Every last pair of both her and Luna's undergarments was currently piled up in the laundry room. All dirty and sweaty in bags, all because she had the servants watch Discord to make sure he wasn't going to leave snapping turtles in the washing machines.

"The price to pay off staying on your toes." She said inching the cup to her lips. Just as it touched her lips, Discord poofed into the room in a cloud of smoke and shouted,

"HI CELESTIA!" which made her jump in panic thinking he had pranked her. Discord only smiled as he licked himself clean of the tea, then he licked Celestia clean, she wasn't amused. Judging by the annoyed look on her face. "Good morning my good princess, and how are you today?" He asked as Celestia only pinched her brow to release the aneurysm he was givng her by being his nutty self.

"Fine Discord, just peachy..." She said through gritted teeth. "No wait! Dont tell me, you want that reward for being so good don't you?" Well fine, what is it your bucked up hodgepodge of pottage you call a brain wants hmmm?" "Runaway cotton candy clouds? A blizzard follwed by a heatwave in the span of a few hours...or shall I call for some concubines to polish your "pole" with their tounges?" She said about to have a panic breakdown from all thr stress.

"Good heavens princess, you look like you could use a trip to the day spa." He said snickering at the irony that he had driven her even crazier without making an ass of himself, then any of his practical jokes ever could.

"Don't patronize me Dip cord, just tell me what you want; get back to making the chairs run away with the end tables, so I can get back to work please!" Celestia said she ran a brush through her mane.

"Very well, Princess Celestia, I Discord...drum roll please...want to be in charge of your royal Laundry." He said snappinh a claw making a red handkerchief appear on his head and an apron on his chest. Celestia couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"You what? You; Discord God of chaos and mayhem, consider it a reward to do my royal dirty laundry?" She trying to see some catch in his request.

"Your majesty, I'm practically insulted by that!" He said placing a hand on his chest in a faux hoity toity manner."I would consider it an honor to be in charge of the finest wardrobe in the world." He said as Celestia still tired to see just what a destructive SOB like Discord could get out of her agreeing, when she saw no benifit to him to cause trouble, Celestia sighed heavily and took the key to the laundry room from her ring of keys before handing it to him.

"Now listen you, I'm only gonna say this once! If you do anything to my clothes,even just dyeing them all green, so help me, I will have you thrown into the dungeons, if only because of thst promise I made, never to statuate you again, you got it?" She asked handing over the key to him.

"Oh trust me princess, your clothes are in...good hands" he said, snickering on the inside as he felt the crotch of his pants tighten near his zipper, because she forgot in her stress, that Princess Celestia had just left...Discord, THE Discord alone with her and her own sister's bras and panties.