The Heretical Inventor

Deep in Tartarus, a lanky grey unicorn with a charcoal mane sipped his coffee, one weary eye trained on the brown plain beyond the Gate. Sleeping beside him was the Gate’s well-known guardian: the great black three-headed dog Cerberus, currently sound asleep.

A dry, cutting wind wound its way across the bleak plains, its whistling howl the only sound aside from the faint slurp of coffee and the grumbling snores of Cerberus. Nothing moved to mar the cracked and dusty path that led to the Gate; ordinarily this would be a good sign, but the unicorn, whose name was Vigilant Watch, was for once expecting company.

His duty, and that of Cerberus, was to guard Tartarus, the ancient underground prison that held not only Equestria’s worst criminals but the semi-transcendent beings (those few who knew of their existence tended to refer to them simply “Beings”) that had, over the centuries, been defeated by Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. Though Tartarus had existed long long before Equestria was founded, when the Diarchy discovered it they realized how useful such an isolated, inaccessible, and easily guarded dimension could be.

After considerable debate between them and the noble houses, they settled upon a family bearing the name Watch as Custodians of the Gate and Caretakers of Cerberus. The line had been unbroken for for centuries, and in recent years Vigilant had inherited his duties from his father Solemn, who in turn had inherited it from his grandmother Discerning, and so on.

Vigilant Watch reflected on his line as his concern that his contacts were running late grew. He felt the weight of the service his family performed for the crown; his elevation to Knight-Captain of Tartarus was both an honor and a burden. Not every pony of his lineage had been entirely worthy, but his confidence in his abilities was greatly bolstered by seeing Cerebus sleeping so soundly beside him. That both Celestia and Luna had made it clear that they knew he was genuinely skilled only added to his resolve.

From placating Cerberus to record-keeping to being truly (and here he grinned to himself) vigilant, the Knight-Captain needed a variety of skills as well as being stalwart and unwavering amongst bloodthirsty lunatics and coldhearted murderers. Above all, though, was the need for a masterful mage who could understand and maintain the bindings placed on the imprisoned Beings. Vigilant Watch had all these characteristics wound around a sort of amiable grumpiness that made him near perfect for the job.

He almost regretted the vacation he had taken recently; the temp who had been given his station had not had the same rapport with Cerberus, allowing him to slip away and run amok in Ponyville. During the ruckus the creature called Tirek had managed to escape, causing all sorts of mayhem and nearly killing the recently crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle. Aside from that one incident - about which he was gradually starting to grumble less, and which in the end really wasn’t his fault - Vigilant’s record in his duties was spotless.

Whether it would remain so, however, had been becoming a greater concern over the past two weeks. Despite Vigilant’s best efforts the magical bindings on the Beings had begun to degrade. Small cracks were commonplace and tended to close quickly on their own, or were easily repaired by Vigilant before the energies of their occupants could leak.

Several days ago the frequency of larger fissures had increased to the point where he found it necessary to write to Canterlot. Even as he reached that conclusion a letter from Princess Celestia arrived, informing him that the spells she and Luna had woven were nearing the end of their useful lives and needed to be reviewed.

“It’s like magic has a thousand year expiration period,” Vigilant muttered as he read the rest of the letter, which detailed the loss of the Elements of Harmony in sacrifice to the Tree of Harmony in order to save Equestria. It went on to say that she and Princess Luna were engaged in devising new bindings of a more powerful and intricate design, but that it would take time for them to be completed. Temporary reinforcements in the form of two members of the Royal Intelligence Service were thus on their way to help the Knight-Captain maintain the wards until the realm’s rulers could complete their research and development.

And so, several days and many worries later, Vigilant Watch continued to watch the plain before the massive iron gate, slowly slurping down his coffee. It was only a few minutes after he had finished his cup that he heard the telltale sound of teleportation. Two bright blips flashed on the horizon in a flare of lime green light.

“And now things get interesting for once,” he muttered in his gravelly voice as the ponies approached, their gait well matched an unhurried.

As they got closer he could see that they were twins: tan stallions with neat auburn and white manes. One was clean shaven while the other had a neat Alfredo moustache. As they came to within a few wingspans of the gate, Cerberus woke, growling in all three throats.

“Cerberus, heel!” Vigilant commanded quietly, nodding once when the hound lay back down in quick obedience. One head glared at him in a flash of irritated worry; this was unusual, but not sufficiently so to alarm him unduly. By the black uniforms and badges the twins wore they were clearly meant to be there, so the Knight-Captain teleported down from his sentry tower to within a short walk of the strangers.

“Ah, Knight-Captain Vigilant Watch!” the shaven twin greeted with a posh voice.

“It is good to finally meet you!” said the other, his voice identical save for its lower pitch.

Vigilant looked at both unicorns skeptically. “Passphrases,” he stated emotionlessly, “and then your codenames.”

The first unicorn rolled his eyes. “‘The sun is warm so long as the moon shines,’” he answered nonchalantly. “I am Agent 41A.”

“‘The moon shines so long as the sun sets in the west,’” added the other, “and I am Agent 41B.”

Vigilant nodded slowly. “Your passphrases check out, though I must say that you have some… unusual designations.”

“We get that a lot,” Agent 41B replied with a small chuckle. “My brother and I do everything together, and that included applying for the Royal Service.”

“We even earned the same scores on all of our exams,” Agent 41A laughed.

“Then I hope you both got good marks,” Vigilant said with dry humor, “‘cause we’ve got some tough work today.” His horn lit, and from it came a silver jet of magic that swirled over the Gate in a complex pattern. As it faded, it swung open behind Cerberus, who followed the motion with one of his heads, a suspicious gleam in his eyes.

“Come,” intoned Vigilant as he strode through the gap.

The two agents followed the Knight-Captain into the cave mouth behind the gate, passing his office and quarters. The Gate closed behind them with a palpably solid thunk, which was the last sound they heard, other than that their breathing and hoofsteps, until they drew near the deep cells where the most dangerous criminals were held.

“I trust you were fully briefed?” Vigilant asked rhetorically as the distant susurrus of voices grew into a cacophony of shouts and screams from the murderers and madponies around them. “This requires no less than a first order binding of innocence with strict conditionals.”

“Our specialty,” 41A said. “We were on reserve to contain Discord if the Element Bearers couldn’t cut it.” He smiled at Vigilant’s raised eyebrow. “Pardon the boast; we weren’t the only ones, of course!”

“But Celestia herself did believe that we could keep a cool head, as it were,” 41B added. “So, are there any Beings that require... immediate attention?”

Vigilant’s already grim expression solidified into a gargoyle visage broken only by the sharp glint of concern in his eyes. “Indeed. The big one.”

Both twins swallowed, and they glanced at each other. “You mean….” they both began.

“Yes, the Heretical Inventor himself,” the Knight-Captain replied with a hollow laugh, though no semblance of humor was in his eyes. “Palderias, the monster who enslaved the ponies of the southeast and coerced them into a state of nihilistic materialism and the relentless pursuit of wealth and consumption of resources.”

As they passed the last of the deep cells the tumult started to fade. Vigilant continued his report, his disdainful harrumph making clear his opinion of the Being in question. “Though they all work at it, none of the others have made any real inroads into wearing away their bindings, but he… oh, he’s been working very hard, and unfortunately it is clear that his efforts have not been in vain”

Soon the cells were far behind, and they moved through twisting passages deep in the bowels of Tartarus. A final turn, and they emerged into a vast chamber lit by a multitude of magical contrivances. It was filled with a chaotic panoply of containment vessels, each of unique appearance, held aloft - and occasionally at odd angles - by a collection of girders and other scaffolding around them.

“He’s in the very center,” Vigilant announced as he threaded his way through the room. “This way.”

They stepped around a two-story-tall bottle that fed into itself without breaking its own surface, filled with a swarm of fireflies that seemed to be constructed solely of gears and crystals. Beyond it was a clearing of sorts, where the profusion of oddities fell away to reveal a large, clear, pod-shaped crystal cage standing on its own. A faint but pervasive green light emanated from it, flooding the area in its glow, which did not quite reach the edge of the clearing. Standing calmly in the center was a tall, thin creature with the body of a praying mantis and the head and wings of a bat. Its head turned slightly to regard the trio, tiny black eyes glittering as the sounds of their last few hoofsteps faded into the silence.

“Oh my,” 41A remarked.

“You said it, brother,” muttered 41B.

“The Heretical Inventor, in the flesh,” Vigilant said with a sigh, staring with quiet determination at the Being within the crystal. “Be very careful. Like Discord, Palderias is a master manipulator. I often hear his voice in my head, trying to warp my mind and alter my perceptions. Make sure you don’t give him the chance.”

The brothers sighed softly in unison, and there was a touch of sadness in 41A’s voice as he announced, “It’s too late for that, Vigilant Watch.”

Before Vigilant could turn he was hit by two blasts of magic that cut through his defenses with terrifying ease. Distantly he heard the sound of his own body slumping to the ground as he struggled within his mind to remain conscious, to continue his duty. Darkness took him as two sets of hoofsteps softly approached, and the last thing he heard was 41B muttering, “Poor fellow. He really was good at his job.”

Vigilant’s hearing returned first, though he didn’t recognize the sparking hiss that seemed to have awakened him. He held himself still as he checked his internal clock; it seemed askew somehow, but even so it didn’t seem he’d been out long.

Cautiously he opened an eye, hoping it wouldn’t be seen, but the catch in his breath at the sight that greeted him would have given him away to even a more casual watcher. The two unicorns had shed their uniforms in favor of perfectly tailored business suits, and had mounted devices on their horns that focused their magic into cutting beams that they were using to carve their way through the crystal cage.

“Impostors,” Vigilant half-gasped, half-growled when he finally found his breath.

“Quite,” the clean shaven one replied smugly, without looking away from his work. “We are better known in Equestria as the Flim-Flam brothers.”

“Successful entrepreneurs,” said his brother, glancing briefly at the Knight-Captain’s struggles to rise to his hooves. “And now legal aids for his lordship, Palderias.”

Vigilant found his strength was not up to the task of standing and slumped back down, utterly still but for his labored breathing and the darting movements of his eyes. “You can’t possibly be serious.”

Flam grinned widely, a mad pleasure glinting in his eyes. “His lordship considers his imprisonment to be unjust, not least due to the Kingdom of Equestria’s judicial overreach. On behalf of the business community of Equestria, we commute his sentence.”

“And offer our resources in aiding his desire to reclaim his rightful estate,” Flim finished with matching glee, the chuckle he allowed himself not affecting the aim of his device in the least.

As they finished speaking they shut off the devices they were using, the crystal cracking steadily now without their assistance. They stood next to each other with wild smiles as cracks spiderwebbed across the surface, then stomped their hooves in applause as the structure shattered, shards falling to the floor of the chamber far below.

Two pairs of insectile legs slammed onto the steel floor. Vigilant struggled to raise his head, only to come face-to-face with a huge maw full of sharp teeth below two shining black eyes and a pair of large, ribbed ears.

“Do not be hard on yourself, Vigilant Watch,” Flim whispered cruelly into his ear. “The reach of his consciousness extended across all of Equestria the moment the prison weakened. It was easy enough to arrange for Celestia’s letter to be intercepted and edited.”

Vigilant’s expression of outrage gave way to horror as Flam added, “Yes, and there is more news: We two are not the only ponies to answer his call.”

Palderias rose and began to walk away, each step causing a large depression in the scaffolding. With wicked smiles on their faces, Flim and Flam followed only a short distance behind, each nodding with false courtesy to the Knight-Captain.

And for the first time since his foalhood, Vigilant Watch began to cry.