Transparency: Q. Mint Jewelip

Standing behind the abomination of all things remotely good, Sleep Dep waited for the pegasus in front of her to get her drink and leave the counter.

The mare ahead, perky and light and just a little to cheerful for the Celestia damned predawn hours, seemed blissfully unaware of the growing threat of imminent destruction that the light green unicorn behind her was formulating in her head. And while the pegasus could probably make an argument about the relative benefits of rising early, Sleep Dep really couldn't be bothered with trivial points such as health, happiness, energy, or well-being.

No, Sleep Dep was one of those favored few amongst the ponies of Equestria that simply thrived upon the filtered dredges of a particular type of fermented, roasted, bean... and without it, was absolutely worthless for hours after waking.

So, while the unicorn plotted and schemed, her spell of masterfully-executed-ultimate-destruction-upon-the-unwashed-and-completely-too-happy-for-the-plot-crack-of-dawn couldn't even be focused on enough to cause a flicker from her aching, caffeine deprived, horn.

And thus, when the 'master brew guru' popped back to the counter and started chatting the nag up, it was a marvelous feeling to notice every other customer in the shop suddenly turn and, in a single warbling voice, snarl out "MOVE IT LUMPY!"

At which, the pegasus leapt away from the counter with the shock of panic that only a mob of ponies can generate, and fled the coffee shop with only the tinkling sound of her bits to mourn her passage.

Sleep Dep staggered up to the counter, placed her forelegs upon the polished surface, and flopped her head down as the cashier looked between her and the swinging door for a few seconds.

"Um, welcome to Jitter's... can I take your order miss?"

With the glacial determination of the Nightmare itself, Sleep Dep lifted her head and drug her body halfway up the counter before glaring the promises of a poorly thought out threat into the eyes of the cashier.

"I will have nine cups of grounds, pressed into one cup of coffee," she paused to blink slowly while she waited for a response.

"Uh... nine cups of-"

"Do not fail me."

At which point, the stallion nodded slowly, stepped away from the counter, and proceeded to simply fill a cup with grounds before adding a few tablespoons of boiling water and setting it upon the counter.

Not waiting for a bill, Sleep Dep simply poured the mud-thick bean paste into her muzzle, swallowed, and looked back towards the stallion with a neutral expression. "I will enslave you last. Unless you need a job, of course."

Then, before anything else could be said, the unicorn turned with a newly chipper bounce in her step, and left the coffee shop, followed by every other customer that had been present.

The cashier watched the shop empty, stunned and not a little bit confused at the now empty room. "That will be...  please come aga-... what just happened?"

And with a jingle, a single gray stallion stepped back through the door, rolled his eyes, glanced at the prices on the wall, and left the bits (plus tip) for the cup of mud the unicorn had consumed, before stepping back out.

Trotting to catch up with the markedly quicker unicorn, Deep Thought tried to keep from being frustrated with his 'friend' and her morning 'routine.' While he knew the unicorn was doing what she could, especially in the morning, he also knew she was more than capable of a few seconds of forethought. Stealing a cup of coffee, no matter how undrinkable the stuff was, seemed like an awfully silly reason to be detained by the Guard.

Finally catching up, the gray stallion kept pace as he glanced around, noting the citizens and even waving to a few he recognized from around town. The two continued on for a few moments before he turned his head and opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off as Sleep Dep glanced in his direction and nodded.

"Right," he thought, "she already knows but is being quiet to save face."

Quickly rethinking his original comment, Deep Thought screwed up his mouth before gesturing towards a bagel shop. "Join me for a moment Milady?"

If she had any reservations, she didn't show it as the two simply adjusted their course and entered the shop.

The walls were, appropriately, stained a light earth tone and decorated with rich reds and browns. Paintings of various bread stuffs littered the shop, complete with carefully preserved samples of various exotic grains. A small field of tables occupied the open room, punctuated with small unlit lanterns hanging at regular intervals. Along the back wall, a counter played host to a breadsmith who watched the pair enter with a carefully crafted disinterest.

But to Deep Thought's well trained eye, the proprietor watched them with the predatory gaze of a business owner, nearly salivating at the prospect of a bit.

"Let's make a quick order and take a seat, shall we? The sunrise always does make me a bit peckish," Deep Thought mentioned as they approached.

A few quick questions and a pair of blisteringly fresh bagels were slathered with spiced cream cheese, bits were exchanged, and the pair retired to a table close to the front of the shop.

Just as they were sitting down, the door jingled as another three ponies entered, glanced around, and went to place their own orders. Deep Thought watched them for but a moment before returning his gaze to Sleep Dep.

"You know what you did was a pretty dangerous thing, right?"

Sleep Dep raised an eyebrow as she floated half her bagel before herself and studied it, pointedly not looking at her tablemate. "You know I get a bit crabby without my coffee."

The stallion exhaled softly before placing his forehead to his left hoof and sighing. Without looking up, he gestured with his own bagel, "Yes yes... I know, but this close to events, little slips like that could be the thing to give it all away." He paused to look up, light gray eyes searching the unicorn's face for a moment before he took a bite of his bagel. "And you know..." he paused to swallow, "...what's at stake if you get found out."

Finally, Sleep Dep took a bite of her bagel, a tiny bit of cream cheese decorating her upper lip, as she turned her gaze to the stallion. She chewed for a few moments before swallowing and tilting her head, "You shouldn't talk with your mouth full."

Deep Thought, looked up, inhaling sharply, before blinking and looking back to the unicorn across from him as the door chimed the arrival of another five customers. "Look, all I'm saying is that we're all this close. THIS close to having this all work out wonderfully, and if something that silly got us caught, do you have any idea what that would do to us? To you?"

The pair sat in silence for a few moments before the first trio of customers took seats only a few yards away. Deep Thought pointed to his bagel before gesturing lightly to Sleep Dep, the silent offer quietly dismissed with a flick of her eyes. "If you're that frustrated, just let one of us know next time, alright? We're happy to do whatever, but you're just no good to anyone before your coffee." He left unsaid that, when speaking, she tended to be rather little use either, but one simply did not say such things to a lady, let alone Sleep Dep.

She sat for a few more moments, quietly chewing through the first half of her bagel, before glancing over as the front door jingled again, admitting four more ponies. At this rate, the shop would be filling up pretty quickly, but despite the thought, she remained passive.

"Deep, while I appreciate your concerns, I highly doubt things are as problematic as you seem to think they are." She levitated the other half of her bagel into the air, using it to gesture towards the front window at the pre-dawn street outside. "Even if, by some means, that little windhorse-"

"Pegasus" Deep Thought corrected.

"-pegasus actually managed to raise an alarm, what exactly would that alarm be? 'Oh! A room full of ponies yelled at me for keeping them from their coffee in the morning because I was waving my heat-stained plothole all over the place trying to rut the bucking bean-jockey.'"

Deep Thought groaned as her gesturing ended up flicking a blob of cream cheese onto the muzzle of an entering stallion, planting a great splattering of the white smear across his startled muzzle. Thankfully, the mare with him simply stifled a giggle and leaned up to lick it off with a dirty look and strolled up to the counter.

"Sleep, all I'm saying is that when we're this close- when you're this close, we don't need to risk it all on some stupid little tantrum. And besides, I'm pretty sure she wasn't being all those things... I'm pretty darn sure she was just flirting."

Sleep Dep's eyebrow rose again as she took a bite of her bagel and chewed. "So, you were studying her flank long enough to know she wasn't in heat?"

The stallion groaned again, this time in frustration. "No! It's just... she wasn't.... you just... GAH." He frowned as he stuffed the entire second half of his bagel into his mouth and chewed furiously.

The door jingled again as a group of ponies came in, each wandering up to the counter to place orders as the shop filled up. A pegassi couple sat down next to them, each toting a bagel smeared with cream cheese upon their wings.

Sleep Dep smiled before switching her bagel half for one of the ones on the mare's wing as the pair sat down, none the wiser.

Deep Thought's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "You can't keep doing stuff like that!" he hissed, lowering his head in an instinctual attempt at stealth. "Stuff like that will get you in trouble if someone sees it."

Sleep Dep smiled as she bit into her newly acquired warm bagel. "And why would they care?" she asked.

"Because you're stealing their food."

"No, no I'm not. This is my food that I paid for with my money and they're just bringing me a fresh one for my convenience."

Deep Thought frowned before flicking a hoof out and grabbing the startled Sleep Dep's chin. He leaned across the table and whispered "No they didn't. Ponies don't work that way." He then licked the bit of cream cheese that had been riding her lip for the past few minutes and flopped back to his seat, leaving a shocked unicorn before him.

"Wait... what do you mean they don't..." she stammered.

"Ponies don't just bring you things because you want them," he stated.

"Bu-but why not?"

"Because, Sleep, they're not part of your hive."

"And," thought Deep Thought, "if confusion were something I could eat, I'd be stuffed right now."