Transparency: Q. Mint Jewelip

Miss Circumstance fled the antechamber with all the dignity she could muster which, under the circumstances (ironically), wasn't very much at all.

She just couldn't understand what had happened. One moment, she was in a particularly exclusive queue to speak with Princess Celestia, idly noting the other 5 ponies present, when she happened to notice a particularly avant-garde manestyle and felt compelled to engage the mare who possessed it.

Normally, fashion and style weren't her forte but, when the only other pony in the room important enough to merit some of the Princess' time was sporting such a style... well, she was willing to take that step.

When she had noticed the bust of one of Equestria's most noted orators right next to the mare, it only seemed polite to engage in conversation and exchange pleasantries.

And yet that loathsome creature had not only destroyed the bust but had called her such uncouth names! The nerve! The absolute indignity of being verbally accosted by some important, yet unknown, individual... RIGHT OUTSIDE THE PRINCESS' THRONE ROOM... there would be repercussions!

REPERCUSSIONS!

... but even so, it hurt! How could she so easily call her out on such things! She'd known Daddy hadn't really loved her like his other daughters, and Momma really only spoke to her when company was around, and those suitors... those foul, filthy, lecherous slabs of meat that constantly sniffed at her as she passed or gave her half lidded eyes when they thought nopony was watching... how could she have known how much that hurt?!?

Ultimately, it didn't matter. Tears didn't make the lady, the title made the lady. The title and what she could do with it.

And Miss Whimsy Circumstance was the eldest daughter of someone with quite a title indeed.

Stopping her run once she was certain no one important was watching, Whimsy sniffed once to clear her features, brushed back her mane, and put on the most indignant face she could. It was time to do some damage.

And if that insufferable little nobody thought that the eldest daughter of the famous dignitary, Pomp Andre Circumstance, could be pushed around, she was going to make sure the other nobility would snub her into the dirt.

So, with a haughty huff, she pushed open the doors to the grande hall she had previously avoided, stepped back out into the throng, and gave her best show yet.

Within a minute, the guards were being called to quell the riot of nobles.

-~oOo~-

"Barrier! Shock! Tumble! Tactics! Meat Lump! Get a move on!"

Guard Captain, Barricade Bottleneck, was howling out orders as fast as he could. The heavyset earthpony stallion barked orders as the various squad leaders leapt to his will, each snapping off their own commands in time to set their respective teams in motion.

The call for aid had gone out only moments before, but from what he heard, the nobles were in a right-tizzy over something.

Probably a muffin with the wrong amount of glaze or some other foalish thing, but the call had been made and by Celestia's magnificent flanks, he was NOT going to be the one to drop the ball on this one.

Within moments, five teams of specially trained Royal Guard were racing to the scene of the commotion. Overhead, Shock's Aerialists were taking a shortcut by flying up the outside of the castle, intent on being first line breakers and disrupting any real trouble before it had a chance to take root. Just ahead of himself, Tumble and Barrier's teams were charging towards the guard tunnels to avoid any crowds or onlookers who might otherwise delay their arrival. Meat Lump's group, composed entirely of some of the most heavily armored stallions and mares the Guard had to offer, was lumbering towards the teleport room while Tactic's specialists set the runes for the Throne Room Gallery.

Bottleneck, himself, was wondering what the heck had gone on that required Guard intervention... especially with a batch of uppity, out of shape, lazy, do-nothing nobles.

But, it wasn't his place to ask such questions. No... he was a Guard Captain. His place was in following orders and resolving problems. So, with a quick check of his armor, he stepped onto the teleport rune, glanced at Tactics, and nodded.

The mare gave a sharp nod before dropping her hoof down on the command panel, and Bottleneck's world dissolved into light.

A loud pop and flash later, and Bottleneck was wading through a veritable sea of angry ponies. Dresses were torn and suit-coats rent asunder. Fancy drinks and tiny little cracker things, with what could almost be considered a nibble's worth of bitter food, were sent flying. Insults were hurled and bare hoof met solid plate armor often enough to make him wonder if being a noble systematically excused the common act of learning.

And then Meat Lump's team arrived and the whole thing fell apart.

Under the combined weight of nearly forty armed and armored Guard, the mess of nobles seemed to collapse as the balance of power shifted from 'angry-self-interest' to 'combat-trained-and-ready'.

Bottleneck looked over the flagging rioters and nodded. No injuries a bandage couldn't fix and no appreciable damage to the premises. The antechamber doors were still closed and even the herald seemed to have weathered the event with only a mussed mane and disheveled jacket to tell of it.

A job well done. Time to clean up and...

And then he heard the sound of charging hoofsteps coming up behind him. Turning, he saw one of the messenger ponies racing at a sprint, a look of panic on his face.

"One of the changelings is breaking out! It's tearing it's way through the castle!"

Bottleneck blinked as he weighed events...

A commotion near the Princess with no discernible cause. A call for aide for the Crown's specialists to respond. Nothing but angry nobles in a controlled room and no defenses lost. Concentrating the best of the best in one location while simultaneously separating them from the teleport room which would let them rapidly engage other threats.

And all the while, a changeling prisoner was breaking out of the dungeons and wreaking havoc while they were occupied on some idiot noble's pointless tantrum.

"GUARD! Form up! We've been had! ABOUT FACE AND PREPARE FOR AMBUSH!"

The sound of over forty Guard snapping to defensive formations could have been mistaken for thunder.

And for once, the nobles shut the hell up.

-~oOo~-

Celestia sighed softly as she sat upon her throne paging through reports from all over Canterlot. Sunlight poured in through the stained glass windows, the rich golds of afternoon casting glorious sprays of color across pristine marble and the thick red carpet that stretched from the throne room doors all the way to the raised dais of the throne itself.

The sky dock had been attacked by a lone changeling and spared much more than the damage a janitor could correct with a stiff broom. The changeling had been repelled and the injured had been tended to with no complications.

The couriers near Market Row had been disrupted by the constant travel of the Guard. Unfortunate, yet unavoidable given the circumstances. Their losses were mostly of the order of lost time, but the inconvenience would likely be a sour note with the more influential members of the upper class in the coming weeks.

A number of minor thefts had been reported throughout the city; hardly surprising given the nature of an 'invasion'... though she privately suspected that a number of such 'thefts' were actually the antics of a hoof-full of unscrupulous, though ultimately harmless, ponies out for a quick bit. The insurance adjusters could handle that "crisis" on their own.

The quartermaster for the South Quarter barracks had reported a missing champron and peytral shortly after lunch... and while expensive, it was completely understandable given the haste with which the Guard were being repeatedly deployed to handle the conflict within the city.

Celestia paused. Unless, of course, the missing armor had been stolen by a changeling infiltrator. Kibitz had mentioned they'd caught one at the same barracks that morning... and it was apparently waiting for interrogation in the antechamber at that very moment.

She levitated over another short list, this one a set of petitioners who had been screened by the herald to cut down on their numbers for the day. Celestia closed her eyes for a moment, raising a hoof to her forehead as the dull pain of a headache reminded her of the reason for that screening.

Too much stress... just... yes, it was an invasion, but still... just once, it would be nice to have an invading force be considerate enough to politely knock and request their demands over tea. But no... it was always howling, braying, noisome nonsense and the endless rattling of sabers.

With a soft sigh, Celestia raised the list again and took a moment to read it.

Hmmm....  only three so far? She smiled to herself. Finally; something simple to lift her mood.

"Well then, let's see who we have first. Kibitz?"

The elderly unicorn stepped up, adjusting his finely tailored suit and monocle as a scroll floated attentively beside him.

Celestia smiled and addressed her assistant, "Please see the first petitioner in... A miss.... Circumstance I believe?"

Kibitz sniffed politely before raising an eyebrow as he checked his list. "I am happy to say, You Highness, that miss Circumstance has relinquished her claim to your time and decided to attend to her concerns of her own accord. Your next supplicant is a ... pardon, ~AN~ Irrefutable Nuisance."

Celestia, smiling at the news of the noble deciding to solve her own problems (for once), had just started to sip her tea as Kibitz's comment caused her to nearly snort in stifled laughter. Raising a hoof to her muzzle, and a napkin to her lips, she turned to look at the elderly stallion.

"Kibitz!" she chuckled, " I didn't know you had it in you. Well done."

The stallion had the decency to look properly innocent before replying, "Your Majesty?"

"Calling them an insufferable nuisance. Quite funny, but let's not get in the habit of it please. We'd not like that slipping out when dignitaries might overhear." Celestia smiled with genuine mirth as she patted her lips to make sure she hadn't spit any of her tea at his joke.

"Ah, no. I'm sorry for the confusion, Princess, but that is the mare's name: Irrefutable Nuisance." He adjusted his monocle again before floating the list over for her perusal.

Celestia, for her own part, blinked a moment before physically taking the list and reading it over. 'Irrefutable Nuisance'. Right there... in bold black ink.

"Well then, now I feel somewhat ashamed for thinking ill of them. I suppose an apology is in order Kibitz. I should have known you would never speak ill of the ponies who come looking for a moment of my time. I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you take your job quite seriously."

Kibitz, for his own part, simply adjusted his monocle again before wiggling his mustache with a tiny smile. "Think nothing of it, Your Highness." And as he turned to cross the room and let in Irrefutable Nuisance, he turned back with a tiny smile of his own, "Besides, I liked your name for her better."

Celestia blinked a moment. "My name for her?"

Kibitz kept his tiny, stiff smile, as he wiggled his mustache, "Why yes, Your Majesty. You did say she was 'An insufferable nuisance' after all."

Celestia smirked again, but had to resist laughing and school her features as Kibitz pulled open the door to reveal an irate looking, light green unicorn with a head of white done up in a bizarre style to vaguely resemble a lumpy platypus... with a coffee cup floating beside her.

-~oOo~-

Sleep Dep sipped her coffee as she let her eyes play over the room. Immaculate white stone, polished to a high shine and marbled with the fine speckling of a natural gold vein met with the almost blue-white trunks of the matching columns that stood every few yards, framed each stained glass window, and ascended into the cavernous space of the the throne rooms four five story arches. A thick red carpet led from the towering doors behind her all the way up to the fifteen foot tall throne, upon which sat a bloated, caked stuffed, nag of a tyrant.

Obnoxious foalnappers aside though, Sleep's mind took note of the ten pairs of Guard, all armed and armored, who stood watch from every alcove, crevice, nook and cranny.

8 pegassi.

12 dirt ponies.

10 horny crybabies.

She snorted softly before wrinkling her nose and looking up at the bitch on the bench. "So... let's cut the crap and get to the part where you surrender."

Celestia, admittedly not unknown for her centuries of diplomatic escapades, had the decency to simply raise an eyebrow before glancing back at a scrap of parchment floating next to her.

Sleep sipped her coffee again as she noticed the slight tightening of a number of the Guard's forelegs upon spear and sword alike. Figures they'd try to get in the way.

"Miss.... Nuisance? I seem to have been misinformed. I was under the impression that you had some form of complaint that you had petitioned for... but, I am intrigued." Celestia leaned forward slightly as she let the parchment settle upon a nearby bench. "For what reason would I surrender? And to whom?"

Sleep's frown edged up just slightly... almost approaching a graceless smile. "Why, to avoid the disgrace of falling to an invading army, having to explain to your subjects and your sister how you lost the kingdom, and then suffering the indignity and embarrassment of total and utter defeat." She sipped her coffee again before gesturing with it around the room, "And to me, of course."

Celestia smirked slightly, floating her own cup of tea over as she took a moment to look over the mare. Clearly this one was upset over something... not a week went by that some noble or dignitary wasn't... but rarely did she actually receive threats or outright demands.

Well, except from the griffons or minotaurs. The traditional griffon demand for using "their" air included a sum of bits that, when calculated out, would weigh more than the collective mountain upon which her own palace sat. And the minotaurs? Well... their standard invitation to anything more formal than tea would demand her immediate execution and delivery of her head in a gold plated box.

She had quite the collection of such letters. They made wonderful coasters with how thick they were.

But to have a random pony be so upset that they would demand such from her? That was arguably one of the more novel approaches to petitioning the crown that Celestia could remember.

"My dear, Nuisance, I'm afraid I don't underst-"

The mare cut her off. "Clearly. So let's get to the simple parts. You.... surrender. I take over. Simple as that. Failure to comply will result in an armed invasion. Complying will result in your subjugation and inclusion in reforms that will benefit us all. Well, except you. You'll lose. No arguing that. No negotiations. I'm done with playing nice."

Celestia looked over her throne room, noting the number of guards that lined her walls, watching her intently before settling upon the mare once more.

"You do realize that saying as you have constitutes treason... and while I love my little ponies, one and all, I cannot allow you to bring harm to any of my subjects.... yourself included."

The mare scowled. "I'm not asking again... surrender or you will be taken by my forces."

Celestia frowned. Normally having her even suggest punishment would deter... but the mare seemed only to become more agitated. And the open mention of 'her forces'.... that sounded uncannily like......

With only a moment to consider, Celestia glanced over the guards who had been staring at the mare before her. Guards that were normally stoic and able to hold their emotions in check. Guards that should know better than to ready weapons without her command. Guards who should have known that she'd be more likely to have the mare taken for help and counseling than being treated with violence.

And in the quiet of her moment of reflection, the report from earlier screamed at her: armor from the barracks was missing, a changeling had been caught, countless distractions with no discernible pattern of attack, and now a room of 'loyal' guards, all hanging on every word of the strange mare before her.

Celestia's horn flashed, and in an instant, every Guard in the throne room dropped to the floor unconscious.

The soft thump beside her drew her attention as Kibitz dropped to the floor as well.

The mare rose an eyebrow at the display.

"I'll not have your infiltrators causing a ruckus, Changeling."

Sleep Dep casually looked around the room. "Was that supposed to do something? They weren't mine, Peasant."

Celestia blinked as the sound of combat reached her ears from the room behind the throne room doors.

-~oOo~-

"Sir! Up ahead! The Specialists are arrayed against us!"

"Then prepare to subdue! We've got to stop them, but it's not their fault!"

"Hold fast, troops! Here they come!"

Luna raised an eyebrow as she watched the commotion below. Of all the antics that her little ponies could get up to, she found this particular bit of entertainment to be confusing.

The nobles had gone into an uproar... as they were prone to do... and the Guard had been summoned. The Guard had, appropriately and predictably, swept in with the decisiveness she had come to expect of her sister's forces. They had gained control of the situation within moments and reduced the troublemakers to little more than frustrated mutterers with little to show for their momentary growth of spine.

And then, a runner had come up, said something to the captain, and the Guard had instantly drawn into a defensive formation.

Luna mused to herself.... it wasn't a terribly good defensive formation, by her standards at least. The earth ponies were in front, set to take the sweeping blows. The pegassi were arrayed above and amidst, capable of intercepting projectiles as well as offering air support. The unicorns were deployed primarily near the back of the formation, giving them the space and time they would need to combat hostile magics and supply relief if the earth ponies were overrun. A very scroll worthy formation.

And yet, Luna knew they would have never expected her to drop down amongst them. They would be paralyzed should a cockatrice or Tatzl appear. They could repel nearly any equestrian assault, given the locale and their training, but they lacked the creative spark of true warriors.

And then... they all fell over.

Luna blinked.

She watched as a second troupe of Guard swarmed into the antechamber and cautiously filtered through the downed Specialists.

Was this some new strategy?

Luna smiled. It wasn't every century that a truly novel act brought her such confusion... especially on the field of battle.

And so, with silent glee and a rare sense of wonderment, Luna scooped up another hoof full of exploded maize, drizzled with salted butter, and watched the scene unfold.

-~oOo~-