Why Humans Shouldn't be Allowed in Equestria

So in taking out a legitimate threat to – if not the world – their nation, they created a population of refugee illegal immigrants. I thought this world wasn't going to have this kind of insanity. Guess everywhere's fucked up at heart. It made me feel a little better about Earth, but I'm not sure it was supposed to. So it was time to speak up again, and hope for the best.

“Could you find the ones that're left, like if they were close enough?”

“One changeling can notice and identify another by their pheromone trail, if necessary.”

“Think they'd recognize you as their queen?”

“They would notice me as a changeling of power. Whether they would instinctively follow nor not, no. It would be their choice without me subjecting them to my will.”

“You can do that?”

“Yes. Though, having been under it myself, there is no desire to.”

“Perfect. I say we find the ones that're scattered around here.”

“Are you certain?” Luna looked on with that combination of hope and concern that only comes with an idea that's got equal parts 'good idea' and 'trouble coming'. I am so glad that ponies here have expressions way beyond earth ponies. Uh, ponies from Earth.

“Two options here. One, they want peace, like us. Two, they're no match for me or Aranea, let alone both. What's to lose? Besides, they've had enough shit to deal with, why would they fight if they know someone's actually going to help? It's not like there's more than a handful to find anyway...” There I go, saying something like that again. Luna visibly drooped in countenance. Badly worded or not, it got the point across.

“I agree with queen Aranea and Nohbodi. If the remaining changelings can be found, and are as peaceful as Aranea, amnesty and potential relocation are not out of the question.”

So with a grant from the Equestrian regent and a basket of bread and salted fish (The odds of a meat shop were slim-to-none), we took the train to Canterlot. It was as a good a place to start as any, plus the changeling wards were absolutely everywhere. With only a handful of places to check, we could start here and work our way back to Ponyville. After setting up a temporary home, we could run a circle around the surrounding cities. This was assuming that anyone we found wouldn't attack us on sight, of course. Any changelings we missed would hear about it eventually, hopefully before nothing bad happened, and travel to us. Aranea was, as Pinkie Pie would put it – nervoucited.

We arrived in Canterlot without issue. Once we were actually there, the issues started. Naturally the anti-changeling wards were still operational. Alarms were going off before the train stopped. This is why we specifically asked Luna to accompany us here. She had to decline, due to royal duties she was getting behind on. Fortunately, she left us a scroll with the royal stamp, explaining that the alarms were from the only (Currently) legitimate citizen changeling, with the purpose of finding others. No use in having a human form now. Aranea became the armored queen again. No changeling trying to escape would willingly make it obvious, right?

The guards didn't buy it.

Naturally, it was little for us to stand up to a pair of guards that haven't had any actual field experience beyond standing in place and looking intimidating. Wanting to avoid as much trouble as possible we only defended ourselves. I stood in front of the unicorn, and Aranea set up a shield that the earth pony's halberd-like weapon couldn't touch – if it could get past her tank-like shell to begin with. That set off another alarm. We were soon surrounded by a considerable number. I would've joined Aranea in her shield, but any attempt would just be making a hole in it. Good thing for me they had every intention of taking us alive. That alarm sent spies to scout the invading force. Those spies reported to the captain of the guard. The captain of the guard – obviously enough – reported to Luna and Celestia. It took several minutes of being surrounded by guards giving empty threats to surrender before Luna intervened personally. 'National security emergency' does tend to override court hearings.

“Granite Wall, what is the meaning of this?” She bellowed loudly enough to ensure all the guards involved, as well as the adjoining street, heard her.

The mottled red-brown unicorn in armor saluted her. “Princess Luna, we have captured a changeling and what appears to be an accomplice. They have papers claiming to be legitimate citizens of Equestria – obviously forged. We... don't know how they managed to replicate the royal seal so well.”

“'Cause it is real, dumbass!” A polearm's blade found it's way a half-inch from my throat. Aranea closed ranks with me, despite it destroying her shield. I heard a small grunt. Shredding an active magical effect seems to be as painful for changelings as it is for ponies. A green light enveloped the halberd's blade, and it crumpled like aluminum foil. A burst of force pushed the guard back as she erected a free-standing shield with just enough space to hold us both, as long as I didn't touch her horn. Or the shield, or sneeze. I saw a tiny hole appear on one hoof in my peripheral.

“The royal seal on that decree is legitimate. Granite Wall, release them at once.”

“But your majesty! Changel-”

“Release them! IMMEDIATELY!” I could see the last word ringing in their helmets. I think a window broke. I might be deaf. Every guard dropped their weapons or horn-charges and stepped back. I'm pretty sure the skies darkened above her, and some old-sounding pony freaked out and ran away, shrieking about 'Nightmare Moon's return'.

“Y-Yes, your majesty. Guards! Release the prisoners!” At least that's what I think he said. There's a lot of ringing.

Luna calmed from her royal rage and lowered her head to Granite. “The proclamation contained in that scroll is true. Inform all the guards of Canterlot to ignore any alarms regarding this situation. Tell them the system is being tested, if you must. The curiosity of this situation is the only reason you maintain your job after defying a royal order. The replacement of the halberd will be taken to your account. You are dismissed.” Granite was shaken, but saluted and called off the horde. Presumably the late arrivals returned to their stations, including the one carrying a gnarled ex-blade now. The original pair returned to a post at the station and eyed us. Aranea returned to human, but now we needed another dress. Shifting trashed it well beyond any semblance of use. I tied the tatters around her waist, but it was extremely difficult to not stare at what was still exposed.

Well, that could've gone better. At least we were in a place where ponies wore a lot of clothes, relative to the country. We ducked – literally, it was a short door – into a shop that looked like it had clothes. We didn't know who was behind the counter, but she seemed nice enough. A young wom-mare – I still use human terms too often - with a pale pink mane greeted us. This one was a pegasus.

“Welcome! What can I do for you to-...” What we had was torn and generally in sad shape, to put it lightly. We must've looked homeless. Well, technically we were, having been hanging with Zecora and, to a lesser extent, Twilight. Nowhere to go here. “Goodness! You must be that humans from that portal last month or so ago. Didn't know there were two of you. Did another come through later?” Not a huge surprise that ponies would still remember an alien from another world suddenly appearing when it was in their backyard.

“No, I am...” Aranea thought for a moment. “Do you recall princess Luna's decree of citizenship?”

“Yes. That was big news too. Heard he gave it to a... changeling...” Her eyes got bigger than even the most audacious buttons in the store. Citizenship papers did include species, and both of us had to make a free space, as the checklist style didn't include either of us.

I stepped forward, holding a hand up. “Relax. It's, ah... Well, I'll explain it all to you while you're measuring. Aranea, you probably don't want to hear all this again. Can you wait here for a little while?” She nodded. She still had to remember to cover herself. It was getting difficult not to just stare. Damn she was beautiful. “At least this is going better than with Rarity.”

“Rarity? Oh, she taught my teacher!” She got excited at this link. “Coco Pommel. Back in Manehatten she got her away from some awful mare that was using her. They did a few projects together after that, and then Coco found me. She's still in Manehatten. Is Rarity back in Ponyville?”

“Yeah, she is. Can we finish the talk while everything's being taken care of? We really can't waste a lot of time. I'll explain why during.”

“Alright. Follow me to the back room for measurements here.” She held open a curtain and I entered, stealing one last look at Aranea. I know that one little hole isn't dangerous. It's like when a gas tank gets that first bit under 'F' after not moving at first. She explained to me on the train that 'full' was normally very rare, and not to worry until it got to about the joints. That was about meal time, but not starving. She knew she could technically go weeks without feeding now, if she didn't need her magic. Combat could hold for a few days. It was about twice as long as before.

So I got on a pedestal like before and held my arms out. She took a moment to figure out how to do this, being such a relatively unusual shape. It's not like a minotaur walked in for a suit. I remember Rarity going over the plans a couple of times too, though she was faster. “Think of it like a pony standing on two legs, just mind I need way more flexibility.” That seemed to help.

“Ah, thanks Mr... Nohbodi was it?” It's strange being known when you don't know anyone else.

“Yeah.”

“If you can, um... if you could sheath yourself I can get to work.”

“Human's don't have sheaths like a pony. It's always a little visible. That's why we need clothes all the time.” I looked down. Nope, I'd stared at Aranea one too many times. Not all the way, but it'd need a minute to settle.

“Oh, ok. That's why it looks so small. Let's get to work then. It won't get in the way.” She set to work measuring, though with a blush at seeing it. She didn't even notice I wasn't all the way down. It sucks being the only human when everything else is literally hung like a horse.

While she was measuring I explained as much of the history I thought she needed to know. It was enough to shock her, that changelings had personalities and we were finding the survivors. I asked if she knew the places where there weren't changeling wards. She said there was really only one spot in the city where they never bothered to put one up. The poorest part of Canterlot. Way more crime than the rest of the city, but the guards weren't seen too often. Well, 'more crime' being relative to a world where there isn't much to begin with. I asked for the direction of it, and she waved a free hoof towards about northeast while holding the tape measure in between wing-feathers.

She'd gone down to my waist with the measuring. “Huh, it's gotten smaller. Wait, were you...?”

I sighed, knowing it would be faster to get it over with. “Partially. Let's just finish this...” She just got back to work measuring. I was going to be a running gag.

“I'm... flattered, Mr. Nohbodi, but I have a coltfriend.”

“Good. That wasn't for you.” Talk about a dick move. A moment later “Nothing personal. Humans just aren't attracted to ponies.” It took her a moment to really comprehend that, living in a world where everything pony-shaped is intelligent and compatible. She must be considered pretty around here. Imagine a world where there were sentient, compatible non-human humanoids on Earth, and you'd get the idea why it's hard to understand having a single focus.

Finishing up, she called in Aranea. “Wow, female humans are... bigger in places than ponies. I-I know you're a... changeling... but you're being human now. Um, you know what I... sorry...” She was still nervous about it. Think she was kind of flaky in general. The measurements took slightly longer for her. She had to measure the bust three times to figure out how to put the space in a top, and had to force herself to look away from the display between her legs when measuring the hips. I probably shouldn't have stared so much myself.

“Alright, the measurements are done, I can have a basic set done in an... um, Mr. Nohbodi, sir...” Yep, I stared too much. You would too, at least when you're not in danger. I covered myself with my hands. On the plus side, changelings don't need physical contact, though it's the most efficient way by far. I had enough directed at her to fill her up again.

In a few minutes I'd looked at the walls enough to settle. In an hour and a quarter we were in a set of comfortable enough clothes. It wasn't Rarity's work, but the kid had talent. We paid out of part of the royal grant, reasoning that going around on display is generally illegal, and breaking a law when guards knew who we were was a bad idea. The pegasus was still blushing a bit.

“Thanks, miss...”

“Aurora.”

“Thanks Aurora. Say hi to your coltfriend for us.” with a sly smirk. The blush returned. Aranea could tell for over an hour. Even I could tell a slight smell now. That dude was getting laid today.

“Do you know which way we should travel.”

“Yeah. She told me there was one place that didn't have a shield, so if there's any changelings here, they'll be there.”

“Most excellent! Where are we going?” This was going to kill the mood.

“The ghetto.”