Why Humans Shouldn't be Allowed in Equestria

Sangria and I awoke the next morning.

“Ohh, what is this pain in my cranium?”

“It's called a 'hangover'. It happens when someone drinks too much.” It was a minor inconvenience one to me, hardly worth the time.

“I... do not like it.”

“You're not supposed to. Maybe I should've brought less. Or enough to have one to fix it. C'mon, let's go have breakfast. I'll explain the details.” We went to a small cafe nearby. I got us a pair of coffees and our respective breakfasts. It was kind of unusual to me, how unused she is to physical pain. Most of me wanted to feel sorry for her. A little was too jaded to the feeling to comprehend being bothered by it. Sometimes I need to remember that no one else here has ever had a hangover.

We finished our coffee and food in due time. Wish I'd known that eggs were readily available earlier. Living in the forest like a hermit keeps some things unknown like that. The full stomach and caffeine seemed to do for Sangria what it did for humans.

“That is a sufficient remedy. Does that occur every time one imbibes this 'beer'?”

“Only if you drink too much at once. It's a very 'sell a little to a lot' industry. A couple or a few after work or the like.” She bought the reasoning. Not that it was wrong. I just didn't know how to add 'It's hard not to have more'. I better put a warning label somewhere. Don't know too much about the Equestrian legal system right now, but I was about to complicate it.

That's when the thought crossed my mind. Aranea (Damn, I had to go right there, didn't I?) changed because of the excess. I know there were equal parts 'lonely' and 'care' in last night, and that may not add up to as much, but I had to be safe. “You said that spare energy was spread around?”

“Yes, and I currently have an abundance of said energy, thanks to you.” She blushed a bit. It was extremely noticeable under that pale, crystal-tone face. “You are correct, I must add this to the others. With such an amount, it may restore the changeling population.” That's not as impressive as it sounds, since they were mostly whole when I met them. Still, two dozen getting a share and being full was pretty impressive.

We went to the usual place. The changelings recognized me on sight at this point. We all went downstairs at the safe sign, where Sangria changed to her old body. A pulse of green light went from her horn, seeming to cling to every changeling there. The holes that remained were completely filled in. They were used to this. Several left immediately with token thanks. Slightly more noticed that they were completely whole, and stopped to thank us for doing so. Sangria looked at me with gratitude and pride at what just happened. Then, without sadness or drink to guide her, she hugged me. I returned it gladly. “Thank you Nohbodi. We will never forget your actions for us.” I didn't have a real answer for that, so I held on.

We went our way after that, to our respective jobs. All the changelings had a job by now. The ones that didn't already have one got a basic, assembly-line gig at the brewery. We'd have enough to put in stores pretty soon. There weren't a ton of stores here, being mostly a 'general store in town' kind of thing for most areas, but it was enough. We'd keep a combination gift shop and wholesale at the brewery, and soon I'd be talking with folks about a proper bar. Just wait until I 'invent' hard liquor, heh.

Back at the crystal-disposal base I went through the card-flashing security check. That shit's dangerous to everyone else, after all. Fortunately for me, they had a barracks-style sleeping room with bathroom attached. Saved me a lot for the brewery. Not like I had a reason for anything else, what with there not being any home consoles or internet. I'd bring those over too, but I didn't know a thing about how. Some things had to be sacrificed I guess. It didn't matter as much as I thought it would. I was a celebrity here, and I could live with that.

Work went on it's usual way. Rolling those black crystals of varying sizes to a giant, radioactive-to-everyone-but-me dump. Pretty soon we'd have to get another landfill for them, to cut on travel. At the end of the day, one of the guys I work with got my attention. “Hey, you're from Equestria, right?”

They knew I wasn't 'from' Equestria, but we all knew what they meant. “Close enough. What's up?”

She tossed me a newspaper. “Something from home. You'll want to read that.”

'NEW CHANGELING QUEEN TO VISIT CRYSTAL EMPIRE'

Oh hell no.

After work Sangria found me around the cafe. I was thinking of giving them the first bar batch. They already knew about it, and the vast majority wanted to try it. Plus it's a good show for the changelings. They're the ones that really gave me a chance, even more than the ponies. Probably because I was the first to give them a chance, to take them at face value. “Nohbodi!” We hugged each other in greeting. “Have you received the news?”

A sigh. “Yeah. Don't know what'll happen when she gets here.”

“You do not plan on attending?”

“No. I've seen enough. There'll be enough there without me.”

“I plan on joining in the viewing and impending discussion.”

“Have fun.” It was a bit cold, I know.

“I understand. I will inform you of the outcome.” She was a bit put off, but she understood why. That news was everywhere. It was a huge thing, even to the ponies. Lucky for me I had a little of the prototype squirreled away.

It didn't last long.

With nothing better to do, and that sickening desire to see what would happen, despite not wanting to see the one who broke my heart worse than even the others, I worked my way to the main thoroughfare. It was her alright. She was talking with Shining Armor and Cadence. There was a lot of noise around me. It was hard to tell what they were saying, way in the back where I was. I was a little late, and the crowd was already worked up.

“-Hid them from us?”

“-Y would you let-”

“Invasion, like Can-”

I only caught pieces in between shouting from every pony there.

“Enough!” Cadence yelled. Despire the distance, it carried. She could really get loud when she wanted. She calmed down again, and things got tough to hear again.

“Known since … first arrived...” Shining answered the crowd in turn.

“Invented the wards. You think...” Of course he invented them. He's the one that dealt with it back during the invasion. Why the hell didn't I think of that earlier? The changelings weren't successfully hiding.

They were being spied on twenty-four seven.

I recognized Sangria in her crystal pegasus form when she started moving. She was walking right into them. This was gonna be trouble. I started to push past ponies when I saw Shining fire magic at her.

Oh no, they were gonna start getting rid of them!

...No. I'm wrong. It was some trick he had from before. She changed to her crystal human body. Just like before. Damn she was pretty. It was a different kind from Aranea. She was lithe and lean. She was short for a human, like I expected, but slightly taller than pre-queen Aranea was. Maybe four foot ten. She had a small bust, probably an A cup, and hips just past that. She was like a gymnast. She pulled a simple, loose dress from a bag she has and put it on. I'd seen her like that before, but in front of a crowd gives a different perspective. She and Aranea were talking. It got clearer the closer I got.

-”While in Equestria. As his queen, I am here to both collect Nohbodi, and return the changelings in this location to the hive” Sangria was getting pissed. “Why do you display this? All changelings should re-join the hive.” I thought that all drones bowed to a queen. I thought that they didn't have a choice. This was gonna be bad, real fast.

“No.”