Manics: Thunderball

-Chapter 3-

The thing was staring at Twilight from across the table, frozen in position. She didn’t know what to think of it, but she knew it was better to be safe than sorry. She readied her magic.

        Jordan realized how screwed he was when her horn started glowing, since that’s what he remembered about unicorn magic. He pulled out his Lightning Rod and aimed it at her, pushing a few buttons to make it glow in a similar manner. The two of them stood off and started circling the table slowly.

Don’t blink, Jordan.

Don’t blink, Twilight.

Don’t look, Spike! Spike covered his eyes and slid off of Twilight. He ran upstairs and opened his eyes again, just to see the show unfold. Oh man, Twilight’s ready to pummel this thing! Wish I had some popcorn...

They circled each other, staying on opposite ends of the room. This continued until Jordan stopped in front of the door, where he raised his hand and waved. “Thanks for letting me get to the door. Oh, and this?” He lifted the Lightning Rod. “Can’t hurt you, it’s on lantern mode. Good bye!” He opened the door and shut it quickly, pressing his forehead against it for a while. He released his held breath and turned around.

There was another one, but this one meant worse news for Jordan. It was taller than the others, wore a crown, and had wings AND a horn. This was, undoubtedly, one of the princesses he read about. Why was she HERE? He also saw another pony: one with glasses and a gray mane (which somehow looked like it was dyed). They both just stared at him, but the one with the glasses had trouble keeping her mouth closed.

Jordan closed his eyes and turned away from them. Malotov is good in situations like this. What would he do? Hey, I know! “Well,” he started. “I have three choices. One is to fight, and I hate that idea. Two is to surrender, but I got stuff to do. I’ll go with three, you wanna know what that is, you highness?” Aw, idiot! He resisted the urge to facepalm at his corniness.

The door of the house next door opened and a unicorn with an electric blue mane leaned out, followed shortly by an earth pony wearing a bow tie. Wow, what is that? They thought at the same time.

The princess was silent for a while, but spoke. “What is your third choice?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Jordan deadpanned as he lifted the Lightning Rod and aimed it at the ground. This is gonna hurt... “It’s simple… RUN AWAY!” With the last words, he pushed a button on the rod. A bolt of some kind shot out and impacted the ground, sending him flying to the north. He narrowly missed a gray pegasus with a blonde mane on his impromptu flight.

Ditzy hovered a bit while watching the thing continue its flight. This’ll be a great story to tell my little muffin about! A flying monkey!

The Mayor was shocked by the whole display, but kept her composure. She looked up at the princess, who was still looking at the flying speck in the distance, watching it come down somewhere near Sweet Apple Acres. She turned to the door as it opened to reveal a slightly panicked Twilight Sparkle.

“Princess Celestia! I wasn't expecting you here! But... did you see it?”

The Mayor answered. “We both saw it, and it… well… ran away. It looks like it went towards Sweet Apple Acres.” She turned to the princess. “Your highness, should I…?”

“Gather the residents up in town hall,” Princess Celestia answered calmly. “The Elements of Harmony and myself with retrieve the guest.”

“Princess, is that really such a good idea?”

“He seemed to make it clear that he has no intention of attacking us,” the Princess explained. “In fact, if he were given the choice to either fight or surrender, I can imagine him surrendering. What do you think, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Well,” Twilight said. “We sort of had a stand-off inside, but when he left, he said that the rod he was holding wasn’t a weapon. I don’t think he CAN fight, but he had this pipe in a bag he was carrying… maybe that’s a weapon?”

“Perhaps,” the Princess said. “Spike!” The baby dragon appeared in the doorway. “Gather the other Elements and send them to Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Will do, your highness!” He ran off to do what he was asked of, being the Number 1 assistant to Celestia’s protégé meant he had to somehow work double time when the Princess gives him an order herself.

        "Mayor Mare..." At the mere mention of her name, the Mayor left, encountering a group of pegasi and speaking to them. The pegasi flew off, presumably to spread the message for the townsponies to gather.

“Come, Twilight,” the Princess said. “We’re going to Sweet Apple Acres.”

---M~A~N~I~C~S---

“Fluttershy! What’re you doin’ up here?”

Applejack was getting ready to buck another apple tree when she noticed her yellow friend looking around among the trees.

“Hello, Applejack. I know you’re busy, but do you have time to talk? Um… that is, if you want to.”

“Ah always ‘ave time fer friends, 'Shy,” Applejack said with a smile. “Whatcha wanna talk about, sugarcube?”

“Well,” Fluttershy began slowly. “I heard from Applebloom that you have been having problems with Timber wolves coming in the orchard.”

“Yeah, they’ve been throwin’ Granny Smith off with their howlin’. She keeps thinkin’ it’s the first sign o’ the Zap Apple harvest when they do that, but it ain’t.”

“I was wondering if I could help with this,” Fluttershy said. “I could tell them to stay out of the orchard. I mean, unless you already had something in mind to keep them away, then I won’t mind if you say no…”

“Actually, Fluttershy,” Applejack began. “That WAS mah plan. ‘cept we would ‘ave to catch ‘em first! So ah went an’ did a li’l somethin’.”

“Oh? What would that be?”

---M~A~N~I~C~S---

“Ah, crap.” Jordan hissed as he ran back to Thunderball. “How am I gonna get that Data now?!”

The fact that he was seen after getting mere BASIC information was bad. Now, the ponies in the town- which he now knew was called Ponyville (Clever name)- were alerted to his presence in the area. This would make it nearly impossible to get PRE-C Data. That wasn’t the worst part, though.

What really bugged him was the fact that their LEADER was there. Why would she be there? Didn’t matter now, he already made an idiot of himself and his entire crew in front of her. Run away… what was I thinking? Was I thinking at all?

He looked up from the ground and stopped his run, and he could see the ship through the trees. He started walking to it when he stepped on something...

---M~A~N~I~C~S---

“Ah went around yesterday settin’ traps for those varmints.”

“Traps! Applejack, that’s-“ Fluttershy started.

“Nothin’ to worry about, sugarcube,” Applejack interrupted. “All the traps ah put are harmless. Jus’ some snares and cages with bait.”

---M~A~N~I~C~S---

PTWAAAANG! Jordan suddenly found himself suspended upside down from a rope. The strainer on his head fell off and rolled under the closest tree, while all the stuff he had in his bag landed directly below him. He let out a yell as his head started to spin and feel like it was going to burst.

---M~A~N~I~C~S---

“Did y’all hear that?” Applebloom stared at her friends with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I heard it,” Scootaloo looked around for the source of the shout.

“I heard it! It sounded pretty scary,” Sweetie Belle answered.

“I got it! Wha don’t we see if we can git our Cutie Marks from findin’ whatever made that sound an’ securin’ it?” Applebloom walked ahead of the other two.

“Yeah! That sounds like a good idea!” Scootaloo said, catching up to where Applebloom was walking.

“What if it’s dangerous?” Sweetie Belle wondered as she stayed close behind them.

“I think that’s the point of containment, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo answered.

“Yeah! Like Cutie Mark Crusader… um…” Applebloom stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth in deep though.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders SCP Researchers!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“SCP?”

“I have no idea… securing and containing ponies?”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SCP RESEARCHERS!” All three of them ran off to find the source of the yell. It wasn’t long before they found it.

---M~A~N~I~C~S---

“Uh…” Jordan was being stared at by three little ponies.

“Well, we found it…” the one with the bow in her hair said with a southern accent. “Now… what the hay is it?”

“I’m a Manic,” Jordan stated.

“Woah!” The three of them hopped back.

“Yeah, I can talk. It’s not that hard.”

The orange one stepped forward and Jordan noticed the wings on her back. “Hey, you’re a pegasus, right?”

“Well, duh,” she said.

“Great. Can you fly up and get me down from here?”

“Why would I want to get you down? You could try to hurt us if I did!” She gave him a suspicious look. “Besides, I… I can’t fly yet.”

“Well,” Jordan sighed. “No harm in asking.”

“Uh, Scoots?” The yellow one spoke again. “We’re gonna go git Applejack, since that’s one o’ her traps.”

“What?! I-“

“Speaking of traps,” Jordan interrupted. “How do you even tie knots with your hooves?”

They all just stared blankly at him. The white unicorn looked at “Scoots” again. “Well, be right back.” The earth pony and the unicorn ran off, leaving their friend with Jordan.

The silence could be cut with a knife. The pegasus kept glancing at Jordan or eyeing the ship behind him with curiosity. Jordan decided to cut the tension.

“So… Scoots, is it?”

“My name is Scootaloo,” she said, suddenly seeming annoyed.

“Okay, okay!” He lifted his (upside down) hands in defense. ”I just heard ‘Scoots’ and I assumed it was your name.”

“Only my friends call me that. You’re not my friend.”

Ouch. She sounds like Kit when I say something stupid. “Uh, anyway… you’re looking at the thing back there?”

“…yeah, so?” There was a pause, then she asked. "What is it?"

“That’s my ship,” he said with some dignity, which was lost the instant it realized that he was still hanging upside-down.

“Ship? What kind of ship?” Scootaloo was getting really interested in it.

“The space kind.”

“What? A SPACE ship?!” Scootaloo leaned back with a shocked expression similar to that of the pony that was with the Princess.

“Yeah, I was expecting that reaction,” Jordan chuckled.

“What are you doing HERE?”

“That’s a weird question,” Jordan started. “Well, we were in the area and saw something interesting about this world and the sun and the moon. It was different than what we’ve seen before. We’re used to seeing the planet go around the sun and the moon go around the planet, but here it’s the sun and the moon going around the planet.” Lesson learned: never explain this stuff when upside down, unless I like the feeling of having my brain flattened...

“Well, that’s because-“

“Of your princesses, right?”

“How did you…”

“I took a trip to the library, but I got caught by… uh... Princess Celestia?”

“She’s HERE?”

“Yeah, that got me confused, too,” Jordan rubbed the back of his head, which ached like it was full of bricks. “Anyway, I went to my room on the ship when I heard a beeping sound. Then BOOM! Everything started blowing up!” "Boom" indeed. In my head...

“How’d you get here then?”

“Captain crashed the ship. Some parts fell off before we came down. So if you saw a shooting star last night... well, I hate to disappoint you, but...”

“Wait… when was this?”

“Seven… maybe eight hours ago. Why?”

“Something smashed into the Weather Factory last night. Oh, and yeah, pegasi control the weather, in case you didn’t know.”

“I knew that. What hit the Factory?”

“A giant hunk of metal, some of that debris you mentioned.”

“Did anyone get hurt?” He was panicking a little.

“No, but a lot of ponies were rained on,” this time she laughed. Did I just... make a friend here? A rustle nearby cut her off, and out came an orange pony in a cowboy hat wearing a necklace that looked familiar…

“You’re… Applejack, right?” Jordan asked.

She was, to say the least, mad. “Wha, ah reckon so. An’ what’s this? Somepony has gone destroyed part o’ the orchard, an’ ah see ‘im swingin’ in a tree!” Scootaloo had opted out at this time, backing away from the two of them.

“That wasn’t m-“

“An’ he’s gone stealin’ mah apples!” She looked down at the apples that had fallen out of his bag with a scowl.

“I can explain that, just-“

“OH, ya BETTER,” her face was an inch or two away from Jordan’s, still scrunched up with fury. Oh shit… oh shit… she’s ready to look like one of Walker's fiery "accidents"...

“That’s enough, Applejack,” the Element of Honesty was suddenly being pulled back by a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane. Undoubtedly, this was Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. “Leave him to me…” What?

“SO,” Rainbow Dash started, getting up close like Applejack had done. “What’re you doing, huh? Sneaking around and running away after breaking into a building, I hear? What are you? Are you a SPY!?”

She’s even worse!!!

“Rainbow, that’s not very nice…” a soft voice came from behind the interrogator.

“But look at him, Fluttershy!” She turned around to face another pegasus. Element of Kindness. Safe to assume they’re all here. Sure enough, he saw four others, excluding Scootaloo. The unicorn from the library, Pinkie Pie, and another unicorn that just breathed an aura of style… or was it snootiness? The fourth was none other than the sun princess.

“Well, let me talk to him,” Fluttershy suggested.

“Fluttershy…” Rainbow Dash groaned. She looked into her friends eyes for a moment. “Fine.”

The pink-maned pegasus trotted up Jordan, fortunately not getting into his personal space, unlike the other two.

“Hello, how are you doing?” Did she just… Just like that, Jordan's sarcasm mode was activated.

“I’m fine. Besides the fact I’m hanging upside-down, today has just been dandy.”

She broke through his sarcasm. “Um… do you want to get down?”

This time he just stared at her. He regretted it. Those eyes… They’re adorable… I’m getting a heart attack… “Yeah.”

The purple unicorn approached now. “Allow me.” Her horn began to glow.

“Wait,” Jordan said. She stopped whatever she was doing. “I don't wanna land on that," he gestured to the pipe under him. "Just push me towards the tree.”

He was met with quizzical looks. “Will explain later.” He found himself shrouded in a purple glow and being swung towards the tree. Closer… closer… and… He swung his free leg and made contact with the tree. The ponies couldn’t hear anything, except for Princess Celestia, who knew exactly what was going on. The low hum came to an end when the rope suddenly not only snapped, but shredded. Jordan directed the vibration to his foot, flipping himself over and landing on his feet.

The seven average ponies there were speechless at first. It was Princess Celestia who spoke. “Impressive. You’re using vibrations?”

Now it was Jordan’s turn to be shocked. “H-how did… nevermind.” She IS a deity, after all.

“Wow, that looked FUN!” Pinkie Pie stated.

“Pinkie?” Jordan asked.

“Yep! That’s my name! What’s yours?”

“You should know, since your eye felt all-“ he threw his arms in the air. “WHOOSH, and that somehow told you that I needed to go to the library.”

Jordan became confused when she suddenly spazzed in midair and gasped in a manner that he could only described as “violently”. She then darted around to all her friends.

“Guys! This is Jordan! His name is Jordan! Let’s throw a party!”

Twilight trotted over to Jordan. “Uh, could you explain that?” He explained how he snuck into town and “visited” the bakery (which he now learned was called Sugar Cube Corner) where he overheard the Pinkie Sense in action.

“What is a Pinkie Sense, anyway?” he asked.

“She has these premonitions that ALWAYS come true.”

“So I gathered,” he said, looking back at the ship. “Oh, and sorry.”

“About?”

“Our little stand-off in your library,” he facepalmed. “It was stupid.”

“Speaking of which, what were you doing in my house?”

“Wait… you LIVE there?” THAT is dedication.

An awkward silence a born from this question. Once again, the Princess broke it. “We should all be going, they're waiting.”

“Uh… where? And who?” None of them- not even Rainbow Dash or Applejack- could blame Jordan for being suspicious.

“Town Hall,” Twilight explained. “The Mayor gathered everypony-“

“I’m sorry if I start laughing if you say that again,” he put hand over his eyes and smirked.

“Say what?”

“Everypony or anypony.” He began to chuckle.

“Well… what should I say?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think.” He managed to compose himself before saying that.

Twilight stared blankly for a moment before continuing. “Anyway, she gathered every… well, the citizens of Ponyville at Town Hall. They just want to ask some questions.” Get out of one interrogation, get escorted to another. Will I EVER get a break? Jordan thought.

“And they’re not the only ones,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. She wasn’t alone on the suspicion; Applejack also looked ready to condemn him. He shrugged it off on the outside, burying how he felt about their accusations on the inside. He went to wear his strainer had rolled and put it back in its place on his head.

“Why would you where a strainer?” That was Rarity. “That just looks ridiculous!”

He shrugged, not bothered by the opinion. “I don’t know, it’s sentimental. This was my mom’s strainer, and it’s the only thing I can remember from my family at all; I had the memories removed for some reason.”

Rarity was bothered by this. Not that she was alone, but she was the only one to make a big deal of it. “Why would you even THINK of doing that?!”

“If I knew why, then forgetting would have been pointless, I think,” Jordan put simply. “Don’t worry about it! After all, I don’t!” That was probably the best lie I’ve ever told.

“Now that’s a lie,” said Applejack. Damn, she’s good.

“Fine, it does,” he said. “Let’s just… go.”

They started heading back south. Rainbow Dash flew ahead of everyone else, probably to announce their eminent arrival.

“So, Jordan,” Twilight started. “Why were you in my house?”

“Reading.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, my fridge was empty after you left.”

“That wasn’t me; I brought apples.”

Pinkie chirped up. “It was probably Ditzy! You know how she gets, sometimes…”

Twilight chuckled. “Sounds like Derpy!”

“TWILIGHT!”

“Relax, Pinkie, I’m not making fun of her,” Twilight defended.

“Uh… who’s Ditzy?” Jordan asked.

“You’ll know her when you see her… oh, wait, you DID see her,” Twilight said.

“Did I?”

“That pegasus you almost hit when you launched yourself with that lantern thing, you couldn’t tell?”

“How could I tell?”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

He never liked it when anyone was obscure like that. With Twilight, his pet peeve became a major psychotic hatred.