Chapters Prelude (Rewritten (again))
My eyes opened, but all I could see was small specks of blurred color, mostly black and lustrous gold and a sandy color, and they were all moving. Every so often there were a few bright flashes of light in a row, combined with a sudden, muffled pop . My hearing was the first thing to return clearly, and I could hear voices, talking, no, shouting, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I realized that I was leaning on something, my mind still not comprehending the situation, I attempted to stand up. My eyesight had begun to clear, And I was soon grabbed by what appeared to be another person. he was saying something, but I still couldn't put together the words. I stared blankly at him until he suddenly pushed me back down. My head hit the wall, not too hard, and even less so because it seemed I was wearing a helmet, but it triggered something, everything seemed to rush back into focus. I now recognized the situation at hand and the man who pushed me down. He was a soldier, a Marine, and so was I. And we were in the middle of a firefight. He was still shouting at me, and I now understood his words.
"Major, what the hell are you doing!? You're going to get yourself killed!" He shouted at me.
I shook my head to clear the remaining fogginess. "What the hell? How did we get here? We were running a joint patrol with the ANA! I was manning the gun on an L-ATV!"
"We were ambushed." He said. "An IED went off under your vehicle. You were thrown out and knocked unconscious." I heard several bullets hit the other side of the sandstone wall, and the soldier ducked further below the resulting spray of dust. "The few of us that remain are heavily outnumbered, and the enemy has us all trapped in this building. Can you still fight?"
Before I could answer, the door, that was hastily barricaded by several large objects, was pushed open.
"Look out!" I shouted, reaching for my sidearm.
The enemy opened fire with his AK-47 before I either of us could shoot him, and I felt several bullets hit me.
"AAH!" I screamed, practically leaping upright in my bed in a cold sweat. Both my wife and my dog were startled awake
"Shawn, what happened?" My wife, Shelby, asked, while my dog, Beau, came over and attempted to lick my face. He may be big and mean when he needs to be, but he's a teddy bear to people he likes.
"A dream, actually more of a memory." I said, blocking the tongue attack with my hand.
"Well, what was it about?" she asked.
"My last experience in combat. The incident that landed me in reserve. I replied, then sighed. It had been just over two years since that routine patrol went haywire, and after it was all said and done, when the AH-1Z drove off the attackers, there were only five of us left of the 30 that were on that mission. What's more, we spent all of our ammo entirely and were left with nothing but our bodies, experience, and equipment. You don't go through something like that and just move on like some Hollywood action movie.
"Why would you be dreaming about that?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said, "but it isn't exactly at the forefront of my mind at the moment."
Abruptly, the bedroom door swung open, and two little terrors ran in with cries of "Mommy! Daddy!"
"Hey, guys." I said, lifting my daughter, Bella onto my bed, while Shelby did the same for my son, Justin.
My kids are twins, 2 years old. I love them to death, but they are about as insufferable as any other child, I've learned to deal with it, though.
I climbed out of bed, put on my bathrobe, and carried Bella downstairs. I poured them both a bowl of cereal, then left them with Shelby so I could get ready.
A few minutes later, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, looking through my E-mails on the display inside. Technology is a wonderful thing, it has saved me and my family a lot of trouble and time.
Shelby walked in and hugged me from behind. "Maybe you should go see a Psychologist." she said. "This isn't the first war memory you've dreamt about, and they've been happening more often lately."
"You're probably right. It's got to have some meaning." I said. "They've been happening in chronological order. I just can't imagine what they could mean."
I saw an E-mail from my boss. I opened it and read its contents, then groaned.
"What?" Shelby asked.
"My boss. Someone was messing around with one of the programs and fucked something up, and now they need the IT guys to fix it." I said. "Damn, I was hoping today would be slow."
After I got ready, I kissed everyone goodbye and headed out to my Jeep. When I opened my garage door, there was a man in ACU garb walking up my driveway.
"Can I help you?" I asked.
"Are you Major Shawn Foote?" He asked.
"Depends on who's asking." I replied.
"I'm General Jack Pierce." He said.
"Then yes, I'm Major Shawn Foote." I said. "How can I help you?"
"To be short and sweet about it, you're being re-deployed." General Pierce said.
I was silent for a moment. "Why haven't I received a letter?"
"You will." He said.
"Then why are you here telling me this?" I asked.
His face became stern, and he looked around. Noticing my home CCTV cameras, he moved closer to me and spoke in a hushed voice, "Because this is not like any deployment you've ever had. I cannot say how or why here, but you will be informed, soon."
"I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but I have somewhere to be. If you say I will be briefed, I'll wait." I said.
General Pierce nodded and walked back to the HMMWV parked at the curb.
Once I was sure he was gone, I got into my Jeep and started for my office.
12 hours later, I was sitting in my home office, finishing some backed up work. I opened my E-mail, and there was a message marked CONFIDENTIAL . I locked the door to my office and opened the message. It contained a file and a separate document named 'read first'. I opened the separate document, and read.
Dear Major Foote,
First I must say that all information in the other attached document is classified. I am trusting the information to you, and if it falls into the hands of a civilian, both of us, as well as that person could face serious consequences.
I turned the tab into a separate browser window so that I could quickly switch away from it if need be.
Only 130 people know about this operation, 100 of which will be deployed with you. You will be secondary command of this operation, and will guide all field operations. Thus far, basic responsibilities are all we have set. You will have two superiors in the chain of command, a man named Colonel Jacob Locke, and myself.
Assuming you followed the quite obvious instructions, you do not yet know where you are being deployed. In short, NASA and DARPA geeks have been working on a project for the past few years involving what they describe as a weak point in the walls of the universe. This is not the first time something like this has been discovered, but it is the first time that we've discovered one that remains in the same place on Earth, it moves to remain in the same place on the planet, instead of the universe, we see it as an unprecedented opportunity for scientific study and possibly a source of rare resources. Yes, you read that right, your going into the freaking multiverse. This project has been nicknamed "Second Sky", and your new company will be the first humans to physically enter this new realm. Just to keep the importance known.
The other document I have provided contains additional details and tests to show you that we are not pulling your leg. Read it to your heart's content, but I can't make heads or tails of any of it. You should be receiving your letter in a few days to a week. So I suggest you make the most of your time.
-Gen. J. Pierce, USMC.
I immediately went back and opened the other document. It contained several loose text documents and other files marked with dates, topics and objectives. I started from the earliest date I could find, and read for what must have been 2 hours, the whole time I was completely astonished by the whole thing. I only stopped because there was a knock on the door.
"Shawn, come to bed. It's late." I heard Shelby's voice say, muffled by the bulletproof walls and door of my office.
I closed the window, and went to open the door.
"I'm coming." I said to Shelby, who was standing on the other side of the door.
"Why was the door locked?" She asked.
"Private work stuff." I replied. "Kids asleep?"
"Far as I know."
I went upstairs, and slowly opened the door to my kids' shared bedroom. I crept in, gave both of them a kiss on the forehead, and crept back out.
This is going to be hard for all of us. I thought as I went through my evening routine. I just hope I can handle this whole process under the current circumstances.
1: Another Giant Leap for Mankind
Chapter 1: Earth to Equus (Rewritten)
I sat in a CH-53K with several other marines, not knowing at all what was about to happen. This was the most activity that this... portal, I guess, has seen. We plan to tear it open far enough to fit a King Stallion through and do so several times. Second thoughts and theories ran through my mind, until I felt the helicopter jolt, and the rotors began to spin.
As we took off, I looked out the cockpit from my seat in the front of the cabin and could see the giant mess of metal trusses and devices that looked like Van De Graaff generators. Extending from the ground below into the center of this structure was another device that looked like a plasma globe without the tesla coil. I had read about what these devices are, but still didn't really know what they did.
Through my earpiece, I could hear the control tower chatter. "Tower, this is Phoenix; I'm in the air. Waiting on the doorway."
"Roger, Phoenix. Doorway, all craft ready. Begin opening sequence."
"Affirmative, Tower. Doorway opening in 3, 2, 1."
The plasma ball looking structure in the center quickly filled with darkness, as if a small black hole had formed inside of it. This only lasted for a moment, until the Van De Graaff looking devices began emitting an electric hum that I could hear over the helicopter, and the transparent dome opened up with an explosive sound, quickly disappearing into what has been named the Doorway. The shimmering window-like sphere grew wider and wider until it was about 40 meters in diameter, emitting a sound that I can only describe as a rockslide in an echo dome.
When the doorway stopped growing, the radio sprang up with activity. Among others, there was the conversation between the pilots, the Tower, and the Doorway controllers.
"Doorway stable, Tower. Pilots may proceed with the mission."
"Roger, Doorway. All units switch to assigned radio frequencies."
I switched my radio to the channel I was told to use. While I could not hear what was being said to the pilot, I saw the AH-1Z fly through the Doorway. I was told that they would make sure the area around the LZ was clear, then we would enter. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the helicopter pitched forward slightly. We entered the Doorway slowly, as soon as I went in, the scenery changed. I was no longer over a base in the middle of nowhere, now, we were flying over a dense, dark forest. In the distance to the right of the aircraft, I could see a mountain, with what looked like a city on the side of it.
"Already this seems like something out of a fairytale. Christ, what's next? Magic and dragons and unicorns?" I thought out loud, eliciting a few laughs from the other Marines in the helicopter.
As soon as the helicopter touched down in the area that had been cleared of trees by remote robots weeks before, the hatch opened, and in a symphony of whirring electronic servos from our XOS 4s and rattling bullets and gear, we all rushed out of the helicopter.
When every ground unit had been offloaded, I went to report to Colonel Locke. He was not hard to find despite everything, while I could not see anyone's face through the helmets with HEDS built in, his unique gait made him stand out.
"Sir, all units are accounted for." I said.
"Good, I'll report to command as soon as we have the comms station up." Colonel Locke said, "In the meantime, we can move on with the mission. It's your call how we proceed."
I hit the radio toggle switch on my helmet. "Alpha one actual to Phoenix, report. What can you see up there?"
"Alpha one actual, I assume you see the giant castle-looking structure on the mountain to the north?" was the radio response.
"Affirmative, I see it." I said, looking towards the lone mountain, "You're not suggesting we trudge our asses over and up there, are you?"
"No sir, Just making sure I'm not seeing things." the pilot said. "Other than that, there is what appears to be a smaller, more medieval village to the north-east of your location, about a klick-and-a-half out."
"Roger, Phoenix. Escort us through the forest." I said. I switched the channel back to ground units. "Squads Alpha, Bravo, form up. Switch to channel two, We're moving out."
"I doubt God even knows what you'll find out there." Colonel Locke said.
"Fingers crossed we're in Middle Earth." I said with great snark.
"That would be a fun report." Colonel Locke said. I couldn't tell if he was amused or irritated.
Chapter 3: Amity and Discovery
It has been a week since our... intense, encounter with Celestia. Since then, some stuff has happened. The ponies offered to build us a base, they said it was the least they could do to welcome their new allies. We explained to them that we couldn't have a military base made of wattle and daub, and, surprisingly, they said they could build it out of concrete, then proceeded to explain that Ponyville is basically the exception for the larger towns in Equestria, since it was founded by Earth ponies.
Anyway, enough about past events. Today is an important day; the day the President arrives for the peace negotiations. Colonel Locke and I will be escorting her to a city called Canterlot, the capitol of Equestria, a city built onto the side of a mountain. Which is bad-ass as hell if you ask me.
Colonel Locke and I were patiently awaiting the arrival of President Janet Wier through the Tear, as the scientists have called it, in Marine 1. We were wearing our formal uniforms, with our Officer swords at our sides.
"How do you think she's going to react at first if we don't tell her the locals are horses?" Colonel Locke asked me.
"She'll probably look at us then say something along the lines of 'You're kidding, right?'" I responded with a chuckle.
"Then one of them speaks, and she freaks the fuck out." He said, and we both begin laughing. That is, until we hear a loud, cracking noise, and the distinctive sound of helicopter blades.
Marine 1 begins to descend through the Tear. A few seconds later, it lands, with guidance from the soldiers from the ground, of course.
The door on the side of the fuselage opens and out steps a secret service agent, and the President. We all salute, and she returns it, and approaches Colonel Locke and I. "Colonel Locke, Major Foote. Glad to see you're alright, I heard you guys got into a bit of a beef with the locals." She said.
"Madam President, if there's one thing I've learned from that, it's to never underestimate the abilities of anything based on it's appearance." I said, to which Colonel Locke nodded.
"We probably would have lost, had this magnificent SOB not had the ingenious idea that he did to get them to agree to cease fire." Colonel Locke complimented.
"And what idea was that." Asked President Wier.
"We'll explain on the way to the city, along with the briefing on the locals. But right now, we should get going." Colonel Locke said, looking at his watch.
"You're probably right, Colonel. Let's get moving." said the President.
After a standard takeoff, the explanation and briefing regarding the natives, including questions, the retelling of the firefight, more questions, and a rather boring flight where the only exciting thing that happened was the pegasus escort showing up and us having to explain to them to stay away form the blades, we landed in an open courtyard in Canterlot, in front of a massive castle.
Colonel Locke and I exited the helicopter upon landing, stood to either side of it, and saluted. President Wier exited the craft along with her Secret Service escort, saluted us back and exited into the courtyard. In the courtyard, we were met with a guard battalion, and an alicorn I had yet to see. She was pink, with a three-toned mane and tail of violet, maroon, and yellow, and her wings faded into violet at the tips. "Greetings, Humans. I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of Love and ruler of the Crystal Empire." She said in a gentle, cheery tone, "I have been asked by my aunt, Princess Celestia, to escort you to the throne room."
"Thank you, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." President Wier said, bowing, "I'm sorry, I was not informed that there was a third princess in Equestria."
"Just Princess Cadence is fine, and it's quite alright, I'm kind of obscure when it comes to foreign countries' knowledge." She said, still in the same tone. "We'd best get moving, my Aunt Luna can get impatient when it comes to negotiations, I know she just wants to get this over with as quickly as possible."
"Understood, shall we?" the President said.
Skip a 5 minute walk through what has to be the most expensive looking place I've ever seen, like I was afraid to walk on the carpet, that's how expensive everything in this place is, we stepped into the throne room, where upon a golden throne sat Princess Celestia, with Princess Luna sitting next to her on a silver throne.
"Greetings, you must be President Wier, I am Princess Celestia, Diarch of Equestria and bringer of the day." Princess Celestia said in a friendly tone.
"And I am Princess Luna, Bringer of the night and ruler of the realm of dreams." Princess Luna said, "My sister and I have been eager to meet you."
"An honor to meet you, your highness. I am President Janet Wier, President of the United States of America." said President Wier, bowing.
"Rise, President Wier, there is no need for such formalities at this time, we're negotiating an alliance, not the end of a war." Princess Celestia said.
"In that case, just call me Janet." said the President.
"Very well, Janet. Now, shall we begin?" said Princess Luna.
"Indeed, sister. Come, we shall go to my private study, no need to stay in this stuffy old room for peaceful negotiations, now is there?" said Princess Celestia. She then rose from her throne, along with Princess Luna, and motioned for us to follow her out the door we came in.
Another walk, though shorter than the last one, later, and we enter a rather cozy room with two fancy-looking sofas that look like they're worth more than everything I own combined, a coffee table with the same attribute, and a large fireplace with a mantle the size of a Prius.
"Come, Take a seat." Princess Celestia said to us, we complied. "Would you like some tea or anything?"
"Yes, some tea sounds good right now." President Wier responded.
"Actually, could I get some coffee? Black but bring the creamer." Colonel Locke said.
"I'm alright, thanks for offering though." I said.
A maid that I had not noticed was in the room walked out to get our requests, But before the door closed fully, a purple hoof stopped it and pushed it open. In walked Twilight Sparkle and the other Elements of harmony, whose names I had yet to learn. "I hope we're not interrupting anything, Princesses." she said.
"Not at all Twilight Sparkle, is there something you need?" asked Princess Luna.
"We wanted to see if we could possibly get Major Foote alone for a moment, we have something we need to say to him." Twilight said.
"I believe that that is something you should be asking his leader, not either of us." Princess Celestia stated, gesturing towards the President.
"Would it be okay if we took one of your soldiers for a moment, ma'am." Twilight said, nervously.
"Not a problem at all," she said, then turned to me, "In fact, Major Foote, your presence will not be needed for this negotiation, you are relieved for the time being. Until we finish the negotiation, just explore the place... but, stay out of trouble, soldier."
"Yes, ma'am." I said, slightly relieved that I would not have to sit through a boring peace negotiation (those things suck), but also curious what the Elements wanted to say to me, though I have a feeling I already know. I walk out into the hallway followed by the Elements of Harmony.
After A few moments of silence other than the sound of my footsteps and the clip-clop ing of hooves, I broke the silence. "Are you going to talk to me or are you just going to follow me around all stalkerish?" I said. Boring stoic image be damned.
"Right, sorry." Twilight said, then paused for a few moments, thinking. "We wanted to apologize for what we did to you and the other soldiers." she said, "We should have thought more on what to do in the situation, and frankly we feel terrible for-" I cut her off there.
"Girls, I want you to think nothing of that incident. You did what you did because you were uninformed and misunderstood, you just acted on impulse. No one blames you for that." I said in a calm, even tone, while still keeping my voice firm as usual.
"You really aren't mad?" said the pink one, whose mane and tail were all strait instead of poofy like the last time I saw her. She had a look on her face that told me she was crestfallen.
"Maybe a little, but I was never one to hold a grudge. There's an old saying, 'what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger'. What you did did not harm anyone physically, though it hurt like hell, I see no reason to be mad at you for anything." I said.
Her mane and tail instantly exploded into their usual fluffy state, and she literally lept ten feet into the air and screamed "Yippee! New Friends Party!" while confetti was flying out of absolutely nowhere.
"I don't think that now is the best time for a party, Pinkie Pie." the rainbow one said, which reminded me that I still hadn't yet learned all their names.
"Speaking of which, I never got all your names other than Twilight." I said, while thinking 'how the hell did she do that'.
"Oh yeah, I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier to ever come out of Cloudsdale." the rainbow one gloated.
"Hi I'm Pinkie Pie it's nice to meet you do you like parties 'cause I like parties ooh and I like frosting and-" the pink one kept going on and on.
It wasn't till I said, "Wow, you need to take a friggin chill pill." that she stopped ranting at the speed of light and apologized, saying that she "can get carried away at times".
"Yes, she can be a hooffull at times. I'm Rarity, by the way." said the white, posh one.
"Howdy! Ah'm Applejack, Mah family owns Sweet Apple Acres in Ponyville, y'all should come by sometime fer brunch." said the orange one while shaking my hand vigorously with both of her front hooves.
"We'd love to, if we can ever find time; and not to mention you're willing to feed about fifty soldiers." I said, shaking my hand with equal force.
I counted up the names I had gotten and matched them to the ponies in my head, and realized that I still didn't have the yellow one's name. "Hang on, I don't believe I got your name yet." I said to her, and she tensed up, as if scared.
Mind you, her voice was already really quiet so the whole thing was hard to understand, her response was, "I-I'm, Fluttershy."
"What was that?" I said.
"Fluttershy."
"Sorry, one more time. It's alright, I won't bite."
"Fluttershy."
"Fluttershy?" I asked, just because I barely heard it well enough for it to be comprehensible. She nodded. "Well it's nice to meet you, all of you. My name is Major Shawn Foote. I'm glad we can start from scratch like this, I was never one to be happy about making enemies, I like to avoid pissing people off as much as possible."
"That's good to know, after all, friendship is magic " said Twilight in a slight matter-of-fact tone.
I was silent for a moment, with a look on my face that said exactly what I was thinking, 'Dafaq?'. "Anyhow," I said, shaking my head, "I imagine you all have some questions for me. Honestly, who wouldn't."
"Yes, I do, mostly on your anatomy and human society in general." said Twilight. then proceeded to pull a scroll four feet long from her saddlebag. "Also, the girls may chip in if the have anything to say."
"Alright, ask away." I said.
"OK, first and foremost, I kind of want a physical examination, you know height and weight and such." she said.
I shrugged, "Don't see anything wrong with that. I can just tell you most of it."
"Good," she said, "Let's begin, shall we?" I nodded. "How tall are you?"
"Six foot even."
"What is your weight?"
"Two hundred and twenty-five pounds."
"Alright, that gives me two pieces of information, the most interesting of which is that our units of measurement are the same." Twilight said.
"Good to know." I said.
"The rest I can just see and write for myself." she said. "Let's see, brown hair, light stubble. Brown eyes, very small. Light skin, similar to that of a pony's bare hide. Interesting, is there any particular reason for the different skin color of some humans?" she had an inquisitive look on her face.
"Noteworthy difference in skin color usually means the person is of a different race, usually having ancestral bonds to a different part of the world." I explained.
"Oh, okay then. so what race are you a part of?" she asked.
"I, like the majority of the soldiers here and Americans in general, am Caucasian, I have ancestors from Ireland and Scotland." I said.
"Noted. Now let's move on to anatomy, shall we?"
"We shall."
"Alright then. First, I need to see your teeth."
I stopped walking and opened my mouth, allowing a clear view of all my teeth.
"Oh, my. Um, front teeth are flat like most herbavores, but include four sharp canines like those used by carnivores to tear apart flesh, and back teeth are round and dull, similar to a pony's teeth." Twilight said with surprise, and a bit of fear.
"So, what does that mean." said Rarity in an equally fearful tone.
"What it means is that humans are carnivores or omnivores." Twilight said, still scared.
"Equestrian, Twilight! What does that mean!?" Rainbow Dash said.
Twilight sighed. "They eat meat. Either exclusively or as well as plants."
At this point I spoke up. "I'm right here you know, you could just ask me."
"S-so, which are you... that is, if you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy asked nervously and very quietly. I'm beginning to realize why her name was Fluttershy .
"We're omnivores, though, we can live on one exclusively, hence vegetarians." I said.
"Y'all wouldn't consider eat'n... ponies, would ya?" Applejack said, fear evident in her voice.
My eyes widened in surprise. "Hell no, no, never. We'd never even think of killing any sapient being for food except as an absolute last resort." I said loudly, emphasizing my words with my hands.
They all looked relieved. "Thank Celestia." said Rarity.
"Anything else?" I said, wanting to get off that topic.
"Alright, now let's move on to body structure." Twilight said, still a little shaken. "Bipedal, with arms and hands similar to a Minotaur's, are your feet the same?" she asked.
"Similar, my toes are much shorter, and no I'm not about to take my shoes off to show you." I said, shrugging.
"Speaking of which," Rarity chimed in, "I noticed the uniforms you were wearing when we first saw you did not have much protective value, is there a reason your soldiers do not wear armor?"
"We do wear armor, in the form of an impact-resistant material called Kevlar, and steel plates strapped to our chests. We wear several layers of it, that's what our combat uniforms are made of. Beneath that, we wear a type of armor called AR500 body armor, it's basically a steel plate covering most of our torso and our sides, meant to protect the vital organs from any bullets that mange to pass through the first few layers." I explained.
"So, this uniform that you are wearing now..." Rarity began.
"It's not made of Kevlar, but some other material that I don't know nor care enough to find out." I said.
"Well, it definitely looks better than the combat one, I mean, whose idea was it to have a full body metal piece to it, that must be heavy." she said.
"Metal piece? Oh, you're talking about the MES ." I said.
"The what?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Kinda glad you asked that, this is something I actually like. MES stands for Mobility Enhancement Suit. It virtually doubles my natural abilities by taking my thoughts and turning them into physical action using a mix of hydraulics and pneumatics." I explained.
"But, how does it read your thoughts if not with magic?" Twilight asked, sounding confused.
"We wear electroencephalograph caps beneath our helmets." I explained. 'Jesus Christ I am glad I remembered that word.'
"I still don't quite understand, but OK." she said.
"If you'd like, I can show you some of the non-classified technology sometime." I said.
"Sounds good to me." she said.
"Enough egghead-yness. I still want to know more about this guy." Rainbow Dash suddenly broke in.
"Right, for once Rainbow has a point to interrupt, we still need more on your anatomy and human culture." Twilight said. "Where was I? Oh, yes, body structure. So; broad, muscular torso. Um, I also noticed that females' chests seem to be a bit..." she waved a hoof in the air, trying to find an appropriate word, "fuller, than males'. Why is that?" she asked
"It's most often because of their breasts." I said. I could feel my cheeks heating up because of the topic at hand, the ponies just seemed confused.
"Breasts? Ya mean like, teats?" Applejack said, seeming to test the word 'teats'.
"Kind of." I said, shrugging. At this point, I was sure that my face was glowing a slight red. "You see, human mammary glands work... differently, from other mammals. I will not explain that any further because I do not know any more than what has been said, and I do not want to know any more than that. You may question a female soldier at a different time."
"O-kay then, save that subject for later." Twilight said. "That's all the questions I have, that can be answered right now at least. Now, would you mind answering some questions about life back where you came from?"
"Ask away." I said, shrugging.
"Ooh ooh, I have a question." Pinkie Pie said excitedly.
"Wow, that's the longest I've ever seen you go without talking, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said.
Pinkie pie shrugged, somehow. "I haven't had anything to say and didn't want to interrupt." she said.
"Anyway, what did you want to ask?" I said, gaining her attention again.
"Oh, right. Where exactly did you come from?" Pinkie Pie asked.
I whistled, "Well, this is going to blow your minds, so, be prepared." I paused, more for dramatic effect than anything. "We came, from another universe entirely."
Jaws fell open, eyes widened, and tracks were stopped dead. All of the ponies were in disbelief after hearing what I said. The hallway was completely silent, that is, until Twilight let out a loud squee of excitement, and actually fucking tackled me.
"Ohmygosh. Really? You're really from another universe!?" Twilight said, literally standing on my chest, muzzle an inch from my face.
"First of all, could you please refrain from doing that again." I said, lightly pushing her off. "And second; yes, we come from a different universe. I was rather ecstatic myself when General Pierce told me that when I was recruited. Hell, a foolish version of myself would have disregarded my family and career and just jumped on board right then and there. I, however, am not a fool. I love my family, and I miss them every moment I spend here." I said, emotion seeping into my voice despite my attempts to suppress it.
"You have a family back home." Fluttershy said in an empathetic tone. "I'm sorry if I bring up anything that you don't want to talk about, but, what is your family like. It might help to talk about them so you can get them off your mind." her voice in and of itself was really helping to calm my nerves.
"Well, alright. My direct family consists of my wife, Shelby, and my two kids, Justin and Bella, who turn three in June. I also have my mother, my father, my brother and a few others in between. I love them all dearly, and I know that I will be missed for the time I will be here." I said, my tone still remorseful, but not as much as before. 'Wow, she really knows how to help people with their emotions.' I thought.
"How long will you be here?" Fluttershy asked.
"That's as of yet undetermined. The bare minimum I've seen is nine months, and that's if you don't get injured to the point of being unfit for service." I said.
"Well, we can at least make the best of the time you are here." Twilight said.
"That we can, also I have one question for you." I said.
"What is it?" Twilight said.
"What's with the tramp stamps?" I asked.
"The whats?" Twilight seemed confused.
"The marks on your flanks. What are they for?" I elaborated.
"Oh! You mean our Cutie Marks." She said.
"What?" now I was confused.
"A cutie mark is something that everypony has, it appears when a pony discovers their special talent. It's what makes everypony unique in their own way, no two are the same, but some are similar." Twilight explained rather happily.
"So you get a magical tramp stamp when you figure out what makes you unique. Interesting, bet that makes things much more convenient." I said.
"I can tell you the story of how I got mine, it was the day I got Spike." Twilight said.
"Wait, who's Spike?" I asked.
"My assistant. The dragon you saw last week." Twilight said.
"Oh, the drake." I said. "Wait, what do you mean you got Spike?"
"Well I hatched him from his egg for an entrance exam and got my Cutie Mark." Twilight said.
"So you're basically his mother." I said.
She blushed. "I guess you can say that, but we just see each other as brother and sister. I was only eight when it happened after all." Twilight said.
"Ah, I see." I said. "Actually, where is he, I kind of want to meet him."
"He's probably off bugging the chefs." Twilight said, rolling her eyes.
I heard a slight static buzz in my earpiece, usually indicative of someone on the line. "Major Foote to Colonel Locke, what's the SITREP in there?" I said, pressing the button on my headset.
"We should be done in about 30 or so minutes." Colonel Locke said over the comms.
"Alright, I'm gonna start heading back." I said.
"Roger that. ETA?" Colonel Locke said.
"Should be there right when you get done." I said.
"Alright, see you then, Locke out." he said.
"Who are you talking to?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"My superior." I answered, then took my earpiece out. "This device allows me to communicate with anyone on the same radio channel over a maximum distance of four klicks on it's own." I explained.
"Interesting, that seems like it would be very useful for civilian use." Twilight said.
"No, civilians have access to something that allows communication from anywhere in the world to anywhere else on Earth. We just don't have the means to use it here yet." I said.
"Really? What is it?" Twilight asked.
"It's called the Internet. And it can do a lot more than allow communication. I'll explain it at a different time" I said.
One 30 minute walk later, and we were standing outside the door to the study.
"Well girls, I look forward to talking to you all in the future, just don't expect to see me often." I said.
As soon as I had said that, the door opened, revealing President Wier, Colonel Locke, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna.
"Major Foote, I trust your conversation with these girls went well." President Wier said.
"Yes, madam president." I said, nodding.
"And that you forged a friendship with them." Princess Celestia said.
"If you could call it that, yes, I believe so." I said. "Do we have an alliance?"
"Yes, our agreement was that the United States would defend Equestria in it's times of need, in exchange for total access to the country's massive untouched resource reserves." said Colonel Locke. "And another part of our agreement is that we would each have a foreign relations officer or officers."
"The princesses have chosen the Elements of Harmony, and I think, since you have already been acquainted with them, you would fit into the job well." President Wier said. "Now, the question is, Major, do you accept?"
"I do, ma'am." I said, thinking 'What the hell, why not.'.
"Excellent. We have an agreement. Now, It is getting late, My sister and I will set the sun and raise the moon and then meet you in the dining hall." Princess Celestia said. "Guard, escort our new allies to the dining hall, would you please."
"Yes, your highness." The door guard saluted.
"And do not worry about food arrangements, we a few griffins on the kitchen staff for and occasion just like this. You may also stay in the castle for the night." Princess Luna called back to us.
'Damn, they have griffins and Minotaurs here? I wonder what other creatures from myth exist here.' I thought.
"So, I guess this means we'll be seeing you a lot more often than you expected, huh, Major Foote." Pinkie Pie said, literally bouncing up next to me.
"I guess so. Well, this should be fun at least." I said.
Chapter 4: Too Many Pinkie Pies (Season 3; Episode 3)
Two days had passed since our visit to Canterlot. President Wier had gone back to DC the day after the negotiation, and yesterday I had some loose ends to tie up at base. I am currently walking to Ponyville, fully suited for continuity purposes.
I had nothing better to do today, and it is my job, besides being the field commander that is, so I was thinking that I could go along with whatever adventures the Elements are doing. I figured it would be a good idea to go to Twilight's library, which I had found it is what that tree with a house built into it was, to see what they were doing. I was in the middle of town, when I noticed Twilight and Spike at what appeared to be a café.
Spike seemed to notice me, which I was actually expecting, after all I'm a six foot tall biped wearing full combat equipment, ponies had been giving me odd looks the whole way here. He nudged Twilight and pointed in my direction. Twilight saw me and waved with her foreleg.
'Yeah, their joints definitely work a little bit differently than ponies' on Earth.' I thought, walking over to Twilight. "Hey guys, whacha doin'?" I said, noticing an apple on the table.
"Trying to perfect a spell to turn an apple into an orange." Twilight said, nonchalantly.
"Wow, you can do a lot with magic, can't you?" I said.
"It has quite a few uses." Twilight said. "Want to watch? It can be quite the spectacle."
"Why not, not like I have much else to do today." I responded.
"Alright then, now, where was I? Oh, yes." Twilight said, then lit her horn with what I assumed was the spell. The apple was surrounded in an aura the same color as Twilight's magic, and began stretching around a bit. Just as it seemed like the spell was about to work, the apple stopped glowing and dropped back down to the table.
"Try again, Twi." Spike said, "You can do it."
"Phew!" Twilight said, wiping her brow. "This spell's a toughie. But I feel lucky this time." her face became one of determination. She charged the spell again, "One, two..." as she was about to try the spell again, something grabbed her, screaming "HI!". Twilight fired the spell on what I assume was impulse, it bounced off the roof of the café, then the ground, then hit and unsuspecting blue jay.
I turned back to Twilight, and saw Pinkie Pie hugging her around the neck. "What the fuck." I said, half laughing.
Twilight pushed Pinkie Pie off of her. "Pinkie, why'd you do that?" she said, irritated.
"'Cause hugs are funeriffic! Especially when you throw one around a friend." Pinkie replied happily, somehow wrapping her forelegs around herself twice. "Whacha doin'?" she asked.
"Trying to turn that apple into an orange." Twilight answered, still irritated.
"But you kind of threw her aim off." Spike said.
I was more confused than anything. "Where the hell did you even come from?" I asked, honestly not expecting an answer.
"Whee! What a cute orange birdie!" Pinkie said as the blue jay flew past her. Everything but it's wings and tail were indeed transformed into an orange. "Do me next Twilight! Do me! Do me!" Pinkie then turned around and promptly slammed face-first into Rarity, who was wearing a black cloak for some reason. "Ooh! Rarity, want to see Twilight turn me into an orange? It's gonna be funna-fun-fun!"
"As fun as creating an haute-couture ensemble that I just finished making?" Rarity said, throwing off her cloak to reveal a dress that would make a six year old girl gag. "Delightful, no?" she suddenly had some french sort of accent.
Pinkie gasped. "This is terrible!" she said.
"I admit it's perhaps my finest work, but I-" Rarity started, but was interrupted by Pinkie.
"You had total, awesome, amazing fun, and I missed out on it?!" Pinkie's eyes bulged out a bit on the adjectives. "Wait. What if there's more awesome, amazing fun with friends happening somewhere in Ponyville right now that I'm missing out on, too?!" She then promptly dashed away in a pink blur.
"We weren't going to turn her into an orange. I swear!" Spike said.
I was utterly confused. "What just happened?" I asked, still not really expecting an answer.
"Oh, that was nothing, dear. Pinkie Pie can be a hundred times worse than that without even trying." Rarity said.
"Yeah, like this one time, we were planning a surprise party for her birthday, and so we where trying to avoid her the whole day. She ended up going completely nuts and talking to a bucket of radishes, thinking that we didn't like her parties anymore." Twilight said.
"Wow. So, she's the resident party animal with ADHD... and maybe a bit of schizophrenia." I said, just trying to put words to what Pinkie is like.
"Pretty much." Both Twilight and Rarity shrugged.
"And that's why we love her." Rarity said.
"Eh, I could get on that boat." I said, shrugging.
"I'm surprised that she hasn't thrown you guys a welcome party, that's what she usually does when new ponies come to town." Twilight said, "And now there's fifty all at once. She's probably planning a huge one right now, come to think of it."
"Oh lord." I half-groaned, facepalming.
"Don't get me wrong, Pinkie's parties are quite possibly the most fun you can have." Rarity said.
"Ha, then it'll be even more fun if someone spikes the punch." I said.
"That's only happened once." Twilight said, lightly blushing and looking away, her ears also folded slightly.
"Wait, what?!" I was surprised now, "Someone spiked the punch at a party before, while you were there?"
"Why is that surprising?" Spike asked, he looked utterly confused at the conversation at hand.
"Well, that wine in Canterlot had barely any alcohol content." I said, then realized something. "Though, I guess it would take a lot less alcohol to intoxicate you guys than it would me, especially with my metabolism, and the fact that primates are more suited to digest alcohol."
"Well, alcohol isn't exactly very popular in Equestria anyway." Rarity said.
"Eh, just put some Gin in the punch at any party and you're guaranteed to have a good time. If know what I mean." I said, not able to pass up the opportunity to make a dirty joke.
"Okay, can we get off this topic." Twilight stated, unamused.
"Alright, go back to trying to turn your fruit into a different fruit." I said, leaning against the building.
"I'll see you later, Twilight, errands to run. Ta ta." Rarity said, trotting into the market.
"OK, Let's get back into this." Twilight said. She charged the spell again, and this time, the apple began to float slightly off the table and stretch in random directions. Then, there was a flash of light and in the place of the apple, sat an orange.
"You did it, Twi." Spike said, throwing his arms into the air.
"Man, I didn't doubt you when you told me what was happening, but that's still really strange." I said.
"And it's really taxing on the body." Twilight said, panting. "I think I'm going to go home and lay down with a book, if that's okay with you, Shawn."
"I understand completely." I said, nodding. "You go home an get some rest, I'll go see what everyone else is doing, and see where I can be useful."
"Alright. I think Applejack and some of her family are raising a barn today. Maybe you can lend a hoof." Twilight said.
"Yeah, I'll go see if she needs any help with that. See you later, Twilight." I said.
"See ya. Come on, Spike." Twilight said, trotting towards the library. I turned towards Sweet Apple Acres, put on some music, and started walking.
"Well, o' course ya can help out, sugarcube. We could use all the help we can get." Applejack said, when I arrived and asked her if I could help out. "Though, yer a might early, we weren't going to do the barn raisin' til this afternoon. Right now we're still getting the frame put up."
"Eh, I have some carpentry work under my belt." I said.
Applejack, seemed puzzled. "Ya do?"
"Yeah. After all, I'm human; jack of all trades, master of none." I said.
I walked over to the half-assembled frame of the barn, where a large red stallion was putting up the wooden beams.
"Oh, Shawn, Ah'd like ya ta meet mah older brother, Big Macintosh." Applejack said, trotting up the large red stallion.
"So, yer this, Major, Ah've been hearin' so much about lately." the stallion said.
"Yes, name's Major Shawn Foote, but unless you're an inactive member of the military, just call me Shawn. Nice to meet you, Big Macintosh." I said.
"Ah, just call me Big Mac. Most folks 'round these parts do anyway." Big Mac said.
"Noted. So, what all can I do to help?" I asked.
"Well, right now we're trying to get the frame for the front of the barn up-" Applejack began, but I got the gist of what she wanted.
"Say no more, my equine friend." I said, then walked up to one of the prefabs, and lifted it up in with both arms. Of course, this action surprised the ponies immensely.
"H-how can ya do that?" Applejack asked.
"I'll explain in a minute, now can you help me out here? This thing is not exactly light." I said, a little irritated.
"Oh! Right." she said, then rushed up, with Big Mac, and began nailing in the main beams that the walls would be nailed to.
About four minutes later, Applejack said, "Alright, ya can let it go now." I happily complied.
"Now, about yer strength." Big Mac said.
"Applejack, I explained the MES to you, remember." I said.
"Oh! Right, his strength is because of the metal thing all over his body, it makes him stronger." Applejack explained.
"Yes. It gives me the man power of five men." I said, moving my arms around to display the sound of the moving hydrolics for emphasis.
"Wow, makes ya really strong huh?" Big Mac said.
"Not just that, observe." I said, then proceeded to jump 8 feet into the air, do a front flip, and land it perfectly, with assistance from the MES , of course.
"Wow, impressive, but Ah've seen Pinkie jump over a building before when she was hyped up on sugar." Applejack said.
"Hey, there's limits to what technology can do you know." I said.
"Whatever, why don't y'all take a break. We got that done sooner than I thought we would, so we have time before our cousins get here." she said.
"I'm good." I said, waving her off.
"C'mon, Shawn. We got cider in the house." Applejack said.
I thought on this for a moment, of course I knew she mean soft cider, but I'd also heard from Rainbow Dash that Apple family cider is really good. After a minute or so, I said, "Fuck it. I'm coming." and followed Applejack into the farmhouse, which itself resembled an vamped up barn.
Walking up to the house, I saw an elderly mare, she was a greenish color, and had a white mane and tail, though if it was because of age or natural color, I was unsure. "Howdy." she said when I got up onto the porch, "You must be one of them, humans, Applejack was yammering on about."
"Yes, I am. My name is Major Shawn Foote." I said.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Major Foote. Mah name's Granny Smith Apple" I had to stop myself from laughing at the pun.
"Nice to meet you, Granny Smith, and please, just call me Shawn." I said, then followed Applejack and big mac into the house.
Upon entering the house, I immediately took notice of several photos on the walls. Some where vintage-looking, and showed a small family. There was a filly that looked like Granny Smith in all of them. Each photo seemed to be a later year, showing a bigger family and an older Granny Smith every time. I ran down the line till I saw one that appeared to be the present. I looked at the other wall that held personal photos. There was one of Big Mac when I assume he was born, one of Applejack that was the same, and then one of a pony I had yet to see. She had yellow fur and a red mane. Along with all of these photos where one that I assume are the ponies today. All of these pictures were surrounding one of an Earth pony couple. The stallion's fur was a lot lighter color than Granny Smith's, almost yellow, and he had a red mane. The mare was maybe a bit darker red than Big Mac, and had a blonde mane, like Applejack's.
"I see yer checking out mah family."
I quickly turned around to see Big Macintosh standing behind me.
"Yes, I just noticed the pictures. There are, however, three that I have yet to meet." I said, gesturing to the pictures on the walls. "I assume these two are your parents." I gestured to the photo of the couple.
"You'd be right in assuming that." He said, "But you aint gonna meet them. They're no longer with us." his tone and expression became saddened.
"I'm sorry to hear that." I said.
Big Mac sighed. "What's in the past is in the past, you said there are three you had yet to see?"
"Right, the filly." I said, gesturing to the pictures of the yellow filly.
"That's mah little sister, Applebloom." he said, his expression and tone brightening again.
I was beginning to see a pattern. "Does everyone in your family's name have something to do with apples."
"Eeyup, our family name is Apple, after all." Big Mac said, nodding.
"Are you guys coming or are ya just gonna yammer on about nonsense for two hours?" Applejack said from the kitchen.
Rainbow Dash wasn't lying when she said Applejack made the best cider. 'That's probably why she's named after whiskey, if Equestria had alcohol as a commodity, she would make millions.' I thought to myself.
My trained ears picked up a faint sound, one of hooves on wood. "Heads up, someone's here." I said to the two ponies in the room.
"Must be Applebloom and her friends." Applejack said, then turned to me confused. "Wait, how'd you know that they got here?"
"I can hear them walking around outside." I stated simply.
"How?" she asked.
I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could speak, the door swung open, and three fillies wearing saddlebags came into the house. They couldn't have been any older that seven or eight years old, and none of them had their, dare I say it, Cutie Marks yet. Along with Applebloom, there was also a pegasus and a unicorn. "Applejack! Ah'm home! Ah brought the Crusaders over!" Applebloom yelled, as I expected, in the same southern drawl of her siblings.
"Applebloom, ya don't have to yell. Ah'm only in the kitchen." Applejack said, walking out into the hall.
"Sorry. We'll be in the club house if ya need us." Applebloom said, walking to the door.
"Now hold on, little filly. There's someone here I want you to meet." Applejack said. Knowing she meant me, I stood up and walked to the door. Once there, I could truly appreciate how large I am to these ponies. All three fillies were only half as tall as Applejack, who herself is only half as tall as me.
"Oh! You must be one of those humans that Rarity was talking about!" the unicorn said in a high pitched voice, she was white with a pink and purple purple mane and tail. "I'm Sweetie Belle, Rarity's sister."
"Yeah, Rainbow Dash was talking about you guys yesterday." said the pegasus in a voice that was only a little more high pitched that Rainbow Dash's. "I'm Scootaloo, I'm not really related to Rainbow Dash in any way, but she treats me like a sister."
"Ah assume you already know who I am." Applebloom said.
"Yes Applebloom, I know who you are." I said. "Your sister and I were talking about you girls, she was telling me about how you do several activities to try to earn your Cutie Marks. I think that's pretty good thinking, however I'm partial to the name you chose for your group, the Cutie Mark Crusaders."
"Why's that?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Well, the Crusades, on Earth, where I came from, where not exactly..." I waved my hand in the air, looking for the right word, "Successful. While they did do a lot of good, they did not accomplish their original goal of liberating Jerusalem from the Muslims. I guess what I'm saying is the crusades did some good, but did not accomplish their goal. But, it's just a name, it's not like karma is going to reflect onto anything with the name."
"Eh," Scootaloo shrugged, "to be honest, I'd just heard the word and thought it sounded good."
"As good a reason as any." I said, shrugging. "In any case, I'm Shawn, more specifically Major Shawn Foote, but I'm pretty sure you girls aren't soldiers, so you can just call me Shawn."
"Nice to meet you, Shawn." Sweetie Belle said.
"Yeah" Scootaloo and Applebloom said.
"It's nice to meet you too girls." I said.
"Alright, like Ah said, Applejack, We'll be in the clubhouse." Applebloom said.
"Go on girls, Ah'll call for ya if Ah need anything." Applejack said.
"Thanks, Applejack!" The Crusaders said in unison, the dashed out the door, dropping their saddlebags on the way out.
"Oh, shoot! What time is it." Applejack said.
I looked at the PDA attached to the left forearm of my MES . "Four o' clock."
Applejack sighed in relief. "Alright, we have some time, we should probably get moving though, so we can be out there and ready by the time my cousins get here."
"Alright, let's get moving then." I said, moving to the door. Applejack followed, as did Big Mac out of the kitchen
So, apparently ponies aren't too good with simple machines. Currently, me and four ponies are pulling up the left side wall of a barn, using only one pulley. I would have said something but Applejack didn't seem like she would take any ideas. So here I am, pulling with all the strength even the MES can provide me. We were about to get it up, when I heard what sounded like an avalanche, and 20 high pitched voices repeatedly saying the word 'fun'. I was about to turn around, when Pinkie Pie came out of nowhere, then another Pinkie, and another, and another and so on until there were ten Pinkie's jumping around us. While I was not paying much attention, one jumped on top of Big Mac, causing him to drop his rope. Apparently Big Mac is a lot stronger that I thought, because the sudden increase in relative weight cause me to get yanked by the rope. I let go of it on reflex, causing the two mares and one stallion still holding on to the rope to get pulled slightly before letting go themselves.
The wall of the barn fell back to it's original position on the ground, and to my surprise, the rope attached to it snagged on one of the beams, pulling it off, and causing the rest of the structure to collapse in an absolute clusterfuck of destruction.
"Oh, phew. Looks like I haven't missed a thing."
I looked over and saw one of the Pinkie Pies standing next to Applejack.
"Ah wanna know right now, where all you Pinkies came from so Ah can find out who's responsible for y'all ruinin' our barn raising'." Applejack yelled, gesturing to the pile of lumber with a hoof. At the same time, six Pinkie Pies were climbing all over the half-built silo, and dashing away when it fell to the ground.
"Uh, you look pretty busy right now so," Pinkie laughed nervously, "maybe we should talk a little later?" she then dashed away. Immediately after that, the Pinkie Pies that toppled the silo popped out of the rubble, each saying the word 'fun' after popping out, then dashing away.
Applejack threw her hat on the ground. "Y'all come back here and clean up after yerselves this instant !" she yelled after them.
Through this entire event, I just stood there, trying to comprehend what the fuck is going on. "What the actual fuck just happened?" I said to no one in particular.
"No clue, but Ah'm going to talk to Twilight about this." Applejack said, storming off in the direction of Twilight's library.
"Okay then. I'm gonna help out over here." I said slowly, as I was still utterly confused.
"No, Shawn, we got this. You just go with Applejack." Big Mac said.
"Oh uh, alright." I said, then ran to catch up with Applejack.
We were about half way through the trip to Twilight's. Applejack decided to take a short cut through the orchard. It was then that my ear piece buzzed.
"Major Foote?" Someone said over the comms.
"Yes." I said back, holding the button.
"This is Corporal Jakeel, in charge of construction. Um, we were just, well, invaded, over here at the build site of the base, by a mob of identical pink ponies." He said.
"What? Did they say anything?" I said, exasperated and knowing what to expect.
"Yes, they kept repeating the word 'fun' over and over again while jumping all over everything. Made a huge mess of our materials. Luckily, most of the construction workers here are ponies, and the few humans are unarmed." Corporal Jakeel said.
"Alright, do what you can about cleaning up and return to work ASAP. I'll talk to the Elements of Harmony and see what I can do about the mob of clones." I said.
"Alright, Jakeel out." He said, then my earpiece went back to it's normal function of taking outside sound and relaying it to me.
"What was that all about?" Applejack asked.
"The Pinkie mob wrecked the construction site for our base." I said, very irritated.
"We need to stop them, before they hurt somepony!" she said.
"Agreed. Let's go." I said, then picked up my pace to a run.
"Okay everypony. Please, calm down!" Twilight said to the mob of ponies that had gathered outside her library.
"Calm down! I just had a Pinkie hurricane raging through my shop!" Rarity said, furious.
"And they trashed our critter picnic." Fluttershy said, in what I guess is an irritated tone for her.
Everyone started shouting about what happened to them, until Twilight said, "Please everypony, hang on while I try to figure something out." she opened to the door to the library with her magic, "Come on, Spike." she said, running into the library, and pulling the door closed behind her, only for me to stop it with my foot and run in after her, closing it behind me.
"Oh, Shawn. You're here, good, you can help find something that can help." Twilight said, then turned back to the book shelves. "I've got to try to remember the name of that legend she mentioned" I was about to go to one of the book shelves, when Spike pulled himself out of one, that he was apparently stuck in, holding a book. Twilight trotted up to him and lifted the book off of his head and read it. "Aha, here it is! The legend of the Mirror Pond. It describes a spell I can use to send them back where they came from."
"That's perfect!" Spike said, walking to the door, "Let's go."
"But there's a catch." Twilight said, "If I can't figure out which one's the real Pinkie, I might send her back by mistake."
"Well, we'll just have to figure out who the real one is then." Spike said, "Shouldn't be too hard."
"Couldn't have put it any better myself, Spike." I complimented him, "Now let's go."
"Does anypony know how we can tell the real Pinkie Pie from all the rest of them?" Twilight said upon exiting the library.
The crowd just kind of looked around, contemplating, while a Pinkie Pie bounced around through them.
"Twilight! I have to talk to you, I need your help!" the aforementioned Pinkie said, leaning on two mares in the from of the crowd.
"Excuse me, whoever you are, but I'm not talking to any of you Pinkies, unless you're the real Pinkie." Twilight stated, while a Pinkie was mimicking her every action.
"Ooh, but, but I am the real Pinkie!" Pinkie #1 said.
"No, I'm the real Pinkie!" another Pinkie said.
This soon spread to all the Pinkies.
"How in tarnaton are we supposed to tell which is the real Pinkie?" Applejack asked Twilight.
"I have no idea." Twilight stated in response.
"Me either." said Pinkie #1, who I had been keeping an eye on. "Oh, we've all got the same adorable tails. We've all got the same adorable manes. We've all got the same adorable hooves!" she said, holding each mentioned part on different clones in her hooves. "Which one of us is the real Pinkie?! Oh! I havent the slightest clue!" she fell to the ground. "And if I can't tell us apart, who can?!" she then began crying. And for once, I felt bad for her. I rarely feel bad for anyone.
"Oh, this is hopeless." Twilight said.
Currently, the three of us, Twilight, Spike, and I, were walking into town, flanked by a mob of Pinkies.
"Never lose hope, Twilight. How do you think I got this far." I said, speaking from experience.
"Shawn's right, Twi." Spike said, "Hey, maybe that one's the real Pinkie." he pointed to a Pinkie Pie that was slumped over on a table.
"Please, the real Pinkie Pie never sat that long in one place her whole life." Twilight said dismissively.
"You, of all people, should know to never judge a book by it's cover, Twilight." I said.
"He's right again! I'm gonna go ask." Spike said, then ran towards the Pinkie Pie.
"Of course she's gonna say she's the real Pinkie. They all do." Twilight said. "You're wasting your time."
At this point I just put my hand on her shoulder, which required me to kneel down a bit. "It never hurt anyone to ask, Twilight. It could always be helpful, despite the circumstances. And if for nothing else, do it to for your own sanity."
Twilight sighed. "You're right, Shawn. Go ahead, Spike." she said when she noticed that Spike was awaiting some signal.
Spike nodded, then approached the Pinkie. "So, let me guess. You're the real Pinkie Pie." he said, striking some kind of pose that was probably just something he always does.
"Heck if I know. Could be any one of us, if you ask me." Spike looked at Twilight and I, we just shrugged. "And if I said I was the real Pinkie, you wouldn't even believe me anyway. So just leave me alone. I've got some important poking the ground with my hoof to do."
"Well, she has a point." I said.
"Oh, guys, how are we gonna to do this? I can't risk sending the real Pinkie back into the pond." Twilight said.
"I miss, the real Pinkie." Spike said, sadly.
"Hey! What if you gave them a test?! Pick something really hard for a Pinkie to do, something not fun at all. Any Pinkie that can't do it goes back into the pond. But whoever wants to stay the most - that must be the real Pinkie." the Pinkie said.
Twilight and I both looked up. "You know, that's not a bad idea." Twilight said.
"Yeah, if the Pinkie clones are driven totally by fun, then they would not know all of us, and so would not put as much effort into staying with us. It's brilliant!" I said, my more deductive side coming in.
"Alright, I need to find the girls, namely Applejack. you two look for the others. Tell them to meet me at town hall." Twilight instructed.
"On it. Let's go, Spike." I said, then started running in the direction of Fluttershy's cottage. I figured, since it's on the edge of town, the girls would think it's a good place to hold out till the Pinkie storm ends.
"Hey, wait up." Spike said behind me, panting. I remembered that he was much smaller than me, so he would have a hard time keeping up.
"Sorry, Spike. I forgot that I was much bigger than you." I kneeled over, "Here, climb on, you can sit on my shoulder."
"Really?" Spike asked hesitantly. "Are you sure I won't interfere with anything."
"Trust me, even if I wasn't wearing a robotic suit, you sitting on my shoulders wouldn't be much of a problem. Now get on." I instructed. Spike shrugged, and climbed up onto my left shoulder, using small holes in the suit to pull himself up. Once I was sure her was on I stood up, "Now hold on." I instructed, then began running again.
"Whoa, you can really run, can't you." Spike said.
"Yeah, humans may not be built for speed, but I can still run really fast." I said.
In a matter of minutes, we had arrived at Fluttershy's cottage, and quickly discovered that no one was there. We began searching for the girls in the surrounding area, as Spike had informed me that the animals have large burrows, and Fluttershy may have asked them to let them stay in one of them. Apparently Fluttershy can talk to animals.
"Guys!"
I looked over, and saw Twilight coming down the trail. "Twilight! Did you find Applejack?" I asked.
"Yeah, I told her to get her family and round up the Pinkies and lead them to town hall." she said.
"Good." I said, nodding.
"Have you made any progress in finding the girls?" Twilight asked.
"None yet, but I feel like I may be on to something by searching around here. Spike told me that Fluttershy may have asked the woodland animals to let them stay in their burrows." I said.
"You may be right." Twilight said, "Let's keep looking."
"Alright, let me get down." Spike said. Twilight trotted up to my side, then Spike jumped off my shoulder onto her back, then off her back to the ground.
"Now let's fan out a bit, stay in earshot of each other." I instructed.
"Good idea." Twilight said.
Five minutes later, Twilight yelled for us. I went to the source of the sound, and Found Rainbow Dash waiting at the entrance of a large burrow. "Jump in." she instructed. I did as instructed, and jumped down legs first, and rolled at the bottom. I stood up, and my helmet hit the ceiling before I stood up fully, but I was only slightly hunched over. I inspected where I was and saw that we were indeed in what appeared to be an animal burrow, only with some furnishings like a wood burning stove and a set of stairs leading to the tree above. there were a number of animals in here, including a freaking bear , but I knew it wouldn't attack me. Regardless, I still kept my eye on it.
"I've been looking all over for you ponies." Twilight said, "What are you all doing here?"
"Fluttershy spoke with the woodland critters, and they've agreed to take us into their home till the Pinkie storm dies down." Rainbow Dash said.
"You guys, we're gonna fix this, and I know exactly how." Twilight said.
"Are we gonna lose our real Pinkie Pie?" Fluttershy asked.
"I don't think so." Twilight said, "Now come along. I've already got Applejack and her family rounding up all the Pinkies." Twilight said, crouching and crawling out the entrance. When all the ponies where out of the way, I threw myself out of the hole, rolling when I hit the ground outside.
"Nice exit." Rainbow Dash complimented.
I nodded. "Let's get moving."
"Welcome, Pinkies. Welcome." Twilight said to the mob of Pinkies that Applejack and her family had just corralled into town hall. "Please have a seat and make yourselves comfortable."
The mob of Pinkie Pies just completely ignored her and continued o jump around he whole place.
"Okay." Twilight said, "I suppose you can't be comfortable sitting in one place, but have a seat anyway."
I could see that this was getting us nowhere. I put my hand on Twilight's shoulder, "Let me handle this." I said.
Twilight nodded, and I stepped out to the front of the stage. "Sit. Down!" I shouted, extending the last word for effect. All of the Pinkies in the room complied, forming a large rectangle shape in the center of the room. "Thank you."
"Now, I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you all here today." Twilight said.
"For fun?" on of the Pinkies said, shrugging.
"No. Just the opposite, actually." Twilight said. just as she finished speaking, the door flew open and rainbow dash flew in holding a Pinkie Pie.
"Wait up!" she said, "I got one more! Found this one poking at the ground with her hoof, drawing frowny faces."
"Have her come sit with the others." Twilight instructed. Rainbow dash simply dropped the Pinkie she was holding.
"Pinkies, you've been brought here to take a test." Twilight said. In response, the Pinkies all groaned. "Don't worry. It's a simple test. About as simple as they come. And whoever passes get's to stay."
The Pinkies shrugged and murmured in agreement. "Curtain, please." Twilight said. Spike ran to the curtain rope and pulled it, revealing Rluttershy and Rarity putting the last bit of paint on a wall. "The test... will be watching paint dry." she stated.
Every Pinkie in the room gasped in horror. "On your mark. Get set. Go!" Twilight said. The Pinkies leaned forward in attention.
"Oh! This is so exciting!" Spike said. Somewhere he had acquired popcorn, and was now sitting in the corner of the stage, eating it like you would at a movie.
'Don't know what the fuck you're watching, but okay then.' I thought.
-----five minutes later-----
"Okay, maybe not that exciting." Spike said.
'You're telling me.' I thought.
None of the Pinkies had taken their attention off the wall, but I could tell the boredom was getting to them. 'It's only a matter of time before-'
"Oh, hey! Look at the birdie!"
'Called it.' I thought.
Twilight lit her horn, and zapped the Pinkie that got distracted by the bird. The Pinkie expanded like a balloon, then exploded into a small wisp that went out the window.
Slowly but surely, the number of Pinkies decreased, until there were only two left. On a side note, Twilight's horn was glowing like the barrels of an M134 after a few seconds of constant fire.
The two remaining Pinkies were determined. It would have taken a long time for one of them to crack...
"Ugh! I can't take it anymore!"
Had Rainbow Dash not run out of patience.
Rainbow Dash flew into the air, and said, "Somepony's making balloon animals!" while pointing out the window.
One of the Pinkies' attention broke. "What?! Where?!"
"Gotcha." I said.
Twilight zapped the last clone, leaving us with only one Pinkie. The real Pinkie. We all walked up to her, as she kept staring at the wall.
"Pinkie, you can look away now." Twilight said.
"I passed?" Pinkie said, blinking and rubbing her head.
"You passed." Twilight said, "You're the only Pinkie who kept staring at the wall."
"I had to. I just had to. I couldn't leave my friends. I just couldn't." Pinkie said. "But I guess sometimes I will have to choose between them."
"I knew you'd be up to the challenge." Twilight said.
"I'm me! I'm me! I'm me!" on the second repeat, Pinkie jumped into the air and came back down on her back. "Or am I?" she went around feeling her face with her hooves, "Yeah. I'm pretty sure I am."
Dear Princess Celestia,
It's great to have fun, but it's even greater to have great friends. And having lots of fiends means that you sometimes have to make choices as to whom you spend your time with. But that's okay. Becasue good friends will always give you lots of opportunities to have fun. So even if you're missing out, it's never for long.
Respectfully yours, Pinkie Pie
Spike wrote the letter as Pinkie said the words, then wrapped it up and sent it via his breath, which I had learned had the ability to send letters to whoever he wants it to. I had also learned that the Elements send letters to Princess Celestia every week, to tell her what they learned. Quite the assignment, if you ask me.
"Hi, Pinkie Pie." Twilight said, "We were thinking we should go out and celebrate."
"You up for some wheelbarrow races?" Applejack asked.
"Or I could take everypony on a cloud ride." Rainbow Dash said.
"I could throw a party with punch and zesty cucumber sandwiches! Ooh!" Rarity said, rearing back and flailing her forelegs about.
"Cucumber sandwiches." I said to no one in particular.
"You want to know exactly what I feel like doing right now?" Pinkie said, then promptly flopped onto her back, and fell asleep.
"That looks like fun." Fluttershy said.
"You got that right." I laughed, my laughter soon spread to everyone else.
"You know, if stuff like this is a common occurrence like you said, this is going to be one hell of a good time."
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5: Too Many Pinkie Pies (Season 3; Episode 3)
Chapter 5: A Pleasant Surprise
Say what you will about Earth ponies, those motherfuckers are fast . We only started construction on the base about two and a half weeks ago, and now they already have the entire structure built, we just need to put all the furnishings in, as well as the blast-proof doors, and the whole thing's done.
"God damn. Those little horses are efficient." Colonel Locke said.
"I'd say. Hell, they even got the electrics in." I said, looking around the brightly lit room with no windows
"I even looked at the air control tower, they built everything except for the technology they don't have. Like how the fuck do you do that with hooves ." he said.
"Not a clue." I said.
"Either way, we're forgetting our purpose for being here, we need to mark where we will put equipment on the blueprints and relay that to the guys." Colonel Locke said.
"Right, Let's get back to-" I stopped. "The hell?"
"Um." Colonel Locke was confused by the sight.
In front of us, in the largest room on site, was Pinkie Pie.
I facepalmed. "Pinkie, what the hell are you doing?"
"Oh! Hey Shawn! I'm memorizing this place. I like to know my way around everywhere I go." Pinkie responded.
"Miss Pie, when everything's said and done, this base will be restricted access. Civilians won't be allowed on site, in fact, you shouldn't even be here now." Colonel Locke said.
Pinkie looked confused. "But, why?"
"Pinkie, It's a military base. Restricted access for security and safety reasons." I explained.
"But, then how are the girls and I supposed to make friends with all of you if we're not allowed to be here." Pinkie said.
"She has a point." I said, turning to Colonel Locke after pausing to think for a moment. "She, and the other Elements of Harmony, are meant to be with me quite often so that we can learn more about each other."
"Alright, alright." Colonel Locke said before I could say any more. He turned to Pinkie, "Miss Pie, you and the other foreign relations officers are allowed on site, but no one else . Also, two things. One, we need to know when any of you are coming a few hours in advance at least. Two, I need to mark out some areas that you are not allowed to go in. Do you have a map or something I can mark on?"
"Yep, I got one of the construction ponies to give me a copy of the blueprints for all the buildings." Pinkie said, enthusiastically.
"Well then it's a good thing the buildings aren't labeled for their intended purpose on the blueprints." Colonel Locke said, then took out a pen and marked a few places. "Alright, so this building and everything about it is off limits, so I'm just gonna take that." he took the blueprints for the armory out of the stack. "And most of this building is off limits for reasons that Major Foote will explain when he gives you guys the proper tour, right Major?" he said, pointing at the blueprints for the administration building.
"Yes, I'm going to give you girls the a tour of the areas that you will be allowed later." I said.
"Good. You'll be allowed to go anywhere in here," he said, pointing to the blueprints for the barracks, "And here." he pointed to the blueprints for the infirmary building. "This is the canteen," he pointed to the blueprints for the mentioned building, "The kitchen attached to it is off limits, unless your with someone, for understandable reasons, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to go into that building at all anyway."
"Yeah, I still feel a bit icky when I think about what you guys eat." Pinkie said.
"Right, anyway, the control tower is much the same as the kitchen, you guys can go up there, but only if someone escorts you there. That measure is mostly to keep you guys out of the way, because things can get pretty frantic up there if something happens." Colonel Locke said. "That's about it. I think that Major Foote will be able to explain everything in more detail when he gives you girls the tour."
"Okey dokey lokey!" Pinkie said happily.
"One more thing." Colonel Locke said.
"Hmm." Pinkie hummed.
"How did you get in here?" Colonel Locke asked.
"Sir, I wouldn't-" I began.
"There's no doors on the buildings yet, silly." Pinkie said.
"I know that, I mean how did you get into the compound in the first place?" Colonel Locke elaborated.
"Sir, you really shouldn't-" I started.
"I just, walked in." Pinkie shrugged.
"But, how? There are only two ways to get in here, and one of them involves going over a ten foot perimeter wall. The only way you could get in is to walk past two armed guards." Colonel Locke said.
"Colonel Locke, if there's anything I have learned about Pinkie Pie from the Elements, it's that you should never question anything she does that seems impossible. With Pinkie, nothing is impossible." I said.
Colonel Locke hesitated, trying to make reason of what I said. "Alright then." He said, shaking his head.
"Pinkie, get out of here, you shouldn't be here right now regardless." I said.
"Okey dokey lokey!" Pinkie said, turning and walking towards the doorway "See ya later, Shawn."
"See ya, Pinkie. Show those maps to the girls," I said, "I know at least Twilight would read them, if only for the knowledge."
Two days later
We had finished getting most things set up. Mostly just a few accomidations. The Elements, namely Twilight, were extremely interested in our technology. Well, except for Rainbow Dash. The only thing that really piqued Rainbow's interest at all was when Twilight asked about one of the helicopters that we have from supply delivery, and I told her it was 'A machine that lets us fly.' It took me a half hour to explain to Rainbow why we can't just start up an V-280 Valor and race her around town.
But that was this morning. Two and a half hours ago to be precise. Now, Mess Call had just sounded over the PA system, and we were all heading to the canteen.
I arrived first, which is not that much of a surprise, and as everyone started to file towards the building, I noticed that the blinds on the windows were shut. 'Strange, those were open at breakfast, who would go in and close them?' I thought to myself.
By now most everyone was standing outside the canteen. I opened the door slightly, and saw that, not only were the blinds closed, but the lights were also off. I opened the doors the rest of the way, but as it was high noon, not much light went into the room. I shrugged and motioned for the soldiers outside to follow.
As we entered the room, I reached for the light switch, and flicked it up. The moment the room was fully illuminated, seven figures jumped out from behind various objects and yelled "Surprise!". Every human in the room flinched, before realizing that it was the Elements of Harmony and Spike.
"Jesus Christus ficken! You guys scared the crap out of us!" I said in an irritated tone.
All of their ears fell, as well as Spike's tail, and Pinkie's mane deflated slightly. "Sorry, Shawn. We just wanted to surprise you." Pinkie said, disheartened.
"It's okay, I'm not mad. You guys just need to know that we are trained to always be alert. If you come into our base, invade the canteen, and jump out of nowhere while shouting at us, we're going to react. Had we been armed, I'm certain we would have casualties." I said in a cautious tone, "Like I said, I'm not mad, I'm just trying to protect you guys, from us."
"From, you?" Rarity inquired.
I sighed, and moved in front of the ponies and dragon, "Human beings are scary when they are determined. Once we set our minds to something, we are unstoppable. A perfect example of this was our preferred method of hunting, when we were nomads. Our preferred method of hunting was persistence hunting, where we would chase an animal until their body simply give up and died." I added extra emphasis to the last word, causing the ponies and dragon to recoil slightly. "We were created to be unstoppable brutes. Even if the animal fought back, we are able to take massive damage to our extremities and lose half our blood and still live. Once we set our minds to a task, it gets done. Period. And anyone or anything that stands in our way will be eliminated one way or another."
The ponies stared blankly at me, it was two minutes until Rainbow Dash finally spoke up.
"Wow. You really need to chill out." she said.
"I suppose I did go a bit overboard there. Sorry." I said, rubbing the back of my head with my hand. "Anyway, no sense in letting all this preparation go to waste" I clapped my hands together. "By the way, are the kitchen staff in on this? It seems unlikely that they would let you do this otherwise."
"Yeah, they let us in and told us they'd let us know when you guys were coming." Spike said.
"Alright. Now, Pinkie, would you like to do the honors." I said, turning to Pinkie.
"Would I!" she shouted. I nodded, and she inhaled deeply, then I realized something.
"Wait. Something's missing. Something important." I said.
"What is it, um, if you don't mind me asking, that is." Fluttershy squeaked, lowering her head.
"And they say I have to chill out." I said, quiet enough that no one could hear me, "Music. We're missing music."
"Well, we would have Vinyl Scratch, the local DJ, come, but you said we can come in 'But no one else '" Twilight said, mimicking my voice in the end (that is, as best as she could, what with my voice being the same as the announcer from Halo) and giggling.
"Not a problem." I pulled my short range radio off my belt and pressed the button on the side, "Major Foote to Colonel Locke."
"What is it, Major?" replied the voice of Colonel Locke.
"Where are you right now, I suppose would be a good thing to ask first." I said.
"In the barracks. I needed to grab something from my personal quarters to bring back to the administration building. Why do you ask?" he responded.
"Okay, that's perfect. I need you to grab my MP3 player from my trunk, plug it into the PA system, then route the PA system to my PDA." I said.
There was a pause on his end, "Mind me asking why?" Colonel Locke finally responded.
"Either look at the CCTV feed from the canteen or come to the canteen yourself and you'll see." I said.
Once again, Colonel Locke hesitated to respond, "Alright, Should be done in about three minutes."
"Thank you, sir." I responded.
And so we waited. And sure enough, three minutes later, my PDA was connected to the base's PA system, and the first thing a on the list of songs was Let's Get It Started by The Black Eyed Peas.
"Pinkie, you may resume." I said, turning to Pinkie.
"Yes sir!" she said, giving a mock salute and inhaling deeply. "Let's party!" she shouted.
I rolled my eyes, and pressed the play button.
And so began what I will always view as the furthest anyone has ever gone to make sure I was enjoying myself.
The party started about an hour ago, and isn't showing any signs of stopping anytime soon, especially since we added a few things that we find enjoyable to the already extensive list of very enjoyable party games. We even started exo-football, an armed forces classic at this point. Someone even managed to get Colonel Locke to let us do target practice with Simunition. Both of which Rarity reacted to with disgust. Spike was entertaining everyone with his fire breath.
I was standing near the outdoor firing range attached to the armory, when Twilight approached me.
"So." she began, seeming to have something on her mind.
"So... what?" I responded, confused.
"I... have something I want to ask you." she said, folding her ears back and looking away from me.
"Well, whatever it is it can't be that embarrassing, can it?" I said, rolling my eyes.
"Well, it may or may not be, considering what I've heard of your sense of humor." Twilight began hesitantly, lowering her head in the process. "I have a question about your, reprod-"
"It's what you'd expect from a mammal." I interrupted in a very stern tone.
Twilight blushed lightly, "Okay, I've had that question on my mind for weeks and-"
"Can we get off the topic, please." I interrupted, again.
"Sorry. Not something you generally like to talk about?" she said, in a slightly inquiring tone.
"While I must admit, it is funny at times to joke about it, no. And it just makes it worse that all parents know that at some point, they will have to discuss this topic with their kids. I will forever dread that day when it comes." I said.
"Nopony wants to talk about it here, an no one makes jokes about it. I wouldn't know about the parenting thing though, most likely never will. My parents are the ones that gave 'the talk' to Spike" she said, shrugging.
"Don't be so sure, everyone feels that way when they are young, but once you reach a certain age, you start to ponder the possibilities. That's how it was for me and that's how it was and will be for many more in the past and future." I said. "How old are you anyway?"
"Oh, I thought I'd told you. I'm eighteen, as are all the other girls except Fluttershy, she's 19." Twilight said.
I hummed, "Eighteen seems a bit young for having already been running your own business for some time like Rarity."
"Not at all. In fact, most ponies set out on their own at fifteen." she explained.
"Wow, I guess that minimum age wouldn't be limited by schooling, what with the fact that you only know your special talent if you're good at what you do, and when you do get it you pretty much know how your life is going to go." I reasoned.
"Something like that." Twilight shrugged. "I have a few more things I want to ask, but they're a bit personal."
"As long as nothing goes too deep, I'm okay with it." I said.
"Okay, first thing I have, I see that you have a lot to lose back home, so why did you join the elite division of your army?" she asked.
I sighed, "There's an old speech I heard, about the Marines. It goes like this. 'The eagle, born to those who gave their lives, and sacred honor, was smiled upon by God, and freed from chains and iron collar. He was held aloft on unity, and by history, revered, for preserving peace through strength, his wings now reach across two hundred years. But for each of those, and one year more, God has smiled upon the Corps. From the Barbary coast, to the eastern sand. By sword, by gun, or by bare hand. And so, it has, and shall be, weighed; though many or born, few are made. Faithful, always they shall remain. Dogs to loose when war is waged.' You see, while the National Guard, Coast Guard, and Navy's purpose is to protect America and it's people, very successfully at that, the only way to truly stop a threat, is to destroy it at it's source. And that's where the Marine Corps comes in. We are trained and equipped to destroy our enemies in any environment, whether it be the frozen tundras of northern Russia, the sweltering deserts of the Middle East, or the swamplands of Vietnam. We are always the first to strike. That, is why I joined the Marines, to protect the people I love from those with ill intent, in the most effective way possible. I will win for my country," I paused and leaned down so that I was looking Twilight dead in the eyes, "Or I will die trying."
Twilight stared wide eyed at me, not knowing how to respond. After about a minute, she finally managed to regain enough of her composure to speak.
"Wow. You did all that to protect the ponies you love." she said, incredulously.
"That is the Marine Corps in general, I myself have accomplished much in my time of service, Accomplishments that you will learn about in the months to come." I said.
"I'll be looking forward to it." Twilight said.
I let out a short chuckle. "Indeed." I lowered my voice so to not be heard. "Indeed."
Chapter 7: A Night at Fort Solitude
A day and the beginning of another had passed since the incident with Miss Lulamoon. She will be facing trial for her crimes in the months to come. Currently, however, Twilight has been noticing abnormalities not in Ponyville, but in the area surrounding the base.
It started with her noticing some weather patterns that are, as she put it, "Strange, even for the Everfree," yesterday. When she came to take some atmospheric readings however, she noticed that she was having some issues with her magic. She was having to exert quite a bit more strength than usual simply to hold up her instruments. She quickly went into some tirade about thaumetric pressure or something like that, then left, only to come back not thirty minutes later with Spike, both of them hauling a trailer's worth of equipment. We basically just let them do their thing for a few hours, during which time, Twilight was running around all over base, while Spike was just wandering around checking things out. When they where ready to leave, I offered to give them a ride back home in a L-ATV, which they gladly accepted. The entire ride, Twilight was giddy about riding in one of the "Ponyless carriages." as she called them. I should really give her that technology demonstration I offered.
Anyway, today, I was going to my office in administration, already sulking over the mountain of paperwork that the local PD, or rather "town guard", had given me to fill out for Trixie's arrest, when the head of security, Sergeant Major Lakes, approached me.
"Sir?" He said, getting my attention.
"What is it, Sergeant Major?" I responded, quickly recognizing who it was.
"The Elements of Harmony are here. Miss Sparkle says they need to talk to you. The only thing is, they're unannounced." Lakes said, loyal as ever to his orders.
"Alright, let 'em in. They'll stay with me." I said.
"Aye aye, sir." He said, then pressed the button on his earpiece. "Let them in. Major says they're good."
"Bring them to my office, if it's not any trouble." I said.
"Alright, I'll escort them over there." Sergeant Major Lakes said.
"Thanks, Lakes." I said, resuming on my path to hours of boredom.
Sure enough, fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on my office door.
"Come in." I called loud enough to be heard through the door. It opened, revealing six ponies, a dragon, and a human.
"Contact me when you guys get done." Lakes said, about to close the door, but waiting for my response.
"Will do, Sergeant Major." I said. He nodded, closed the door and left.
"Well, he was rather intense. Anypony else think so?" Rarity said. There where murmurs of agreement.
"He's always like that." I said, not looking up from my paperwork.
"Nopony should be like that all the time." Pinkie Pie said.
"He's the head of security around here. Anything that goes on on site, he knows about. And he takes his job very seriously." I responded. "You wanted to talk to me about something?"
"Yeah, about that, Twilight, ya still haven't told us what it was ya wanted ta talk ta us about." Applejack spoke up.
I looked up from my work for the first time since they arrived. "What do you mean she hasn't told you yet?" I said to Applejack, but still addressing everyone in the room.
"Well, I thought this would be better to tell all of you at once." Twilight said.
I put down my pen, leaned back into my desk chair, put me hands together with my index fingers and thumbs still extended, and put my index fingers just above my top lip. "I'm listening."
"Well, after measuring the thaumetric pressure in this area, then comparing it to the surrounding forest at different distances, then comparing the decrease to the time you have been here, I have come to a definite conclusion that explains the strange phenomenon that have been happening around here." Twilight said, pacing the room.
"Alright, spill it already!" Rainbow Dash said, irritation and confusion evident in her voice.
"The evidence that I've collected all leads to the theory that the presence of humans is leaching the area surrounding their main area of operation of all ambient magic. In laypony's terms, humans being here, occupying this area, is creating a veritable magic dead zone." Twilight declared.
"Oh my. That could be bad." Fluttershy spoke for the first time.
"So, what you're telling us is that, because of the human presence, this area is being leached of all magic?" I asked to clarify.
"Yes and no for both. First, it's not as much humans yourselves as it is all matter from your universe. That's my theory at least, I'll need to run some experiments. Second, it's not as much leaching it away as it is simply repelling all magical energy that comes into contact with it. Also, not 'all magic' per se. It's kind of hard to explain to somepony who can't use it themselves. Let's just say this, an area is never, and can never, be fully rid of magic. Only to the point where it is inoperable." I could see that Twilight was deliberately holding back what I assume would be a college lecture on the topic.
"Could it be harmful to the public in any way?" I asked.
"Not unless you can pick this whole place up and move it closer to town." She said sarcastically.
"We should probably bring this up with the princesses, though." Spike said.
"I agree, Spike. We have a meeting with them in a few days to discuss our observations and findings into each other." I said. "In the meantime, what sort of effects can we expect for this to have?"
"Well, we've seen at least one of them already. The weather, as well as all other events that are usually controlled by ponies, will happen on their own. Mostly the weather, but also plant growth, wind, and seasons will happen just as they do on Earth, which can either be better or worse than simple uncontrolled weather. Also, ponies and any other creatures from here will also be leached of all magic, which can have some ill effects if exposed to for an extended period of time." Twilight said in a manner that made it seem rehearsed.
"What kind of ill effects could this have on ponies?" Spike asked.
"I'm not sure. This topic is hard to explore as it was only theoretical before now. But every book and article I've read on the topic say the same thing, the most extreme effect of magic deprivation," she sighed ," is, death." Twilight said, hanging her head slightly.
Every pony besides Twilight gasped. Even Spike's slitted eyes widened. Twilight folded her ears and looked away from us. I, of course, did not react. Five years of being the deliverer of death has long since made me immune to it's mental toll.
"So, is it a good idea for us ta be here right now." Applejack asked, a look of panic spreading across her face. Everyone except Twilight quickly shared the look. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Twilight.
"We should be fine. Even if there wasn't still enough ambient magic in this area, our bodies would be able to resist it for while." Twilight reassured, her ears perking up again. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, and my expression returned to it's usual lack of such.
"Is that all you needed?" I asked.
"Yeah, that's it." Twilight responded. "Though, I would be grateful of you could record the daily weather patterns for every week and send them to me. You know, for research. Equis has never seen something like this, so nopony has ever been able to study it. I can study the effects on the local flora and fauna, but I can't just watch the skies over here twenty-four seven."
"Will do, we have a weather recorder attached to the comms tower anyway." It was then that I heard a very distinctive sound coming from the window. The sound of rain, heavy rain. The blinds were drawn, so I could not see out the window, but there was no doubt about it. "Speaking of weather," I reached into my desk droor, pulled out the small remote with four buttons, and pressed the one on the top right. The blinds on the window raised upwards, revealing a torrential downpour hitting the window.
"Oh no!" Rarity seemed horrified. "I didn't think to bring an umbrella or rain boots! My perfect mane and hooficure are going to be ruined!" The last sentence came out as a whine more than I statement.
"I'd be a bit more worried about the fact that that trail is completely impassable during high water. I mean completely flooded over. It's like quicksand out there. You'd either get lost in the forest, or, if you did manage to follow the trail, drown in the mud. Either way, the results wouldn't be pleasant and we wouldn't be able to look for you until the storm stops and the rain dries up enough to walk on without sinking." I deadpanned.
"Why can't you just, I don't know, fly us over there?" Rainbow Dash asked, trying and failing not to sound pleading.
I decided I'd had enough with her insistence on racing the VTOLs. "First, the amount of water coming down is enough to cause the engines to flame out. Second, if you say one more thing about the aircrafts, I will throw you into the lift fan of an F-35b at full throttle. Capiche?"
She hmphed and crossed her forelegs. "Okay."
Her weak response was not good enough for me. "Capiche!?" I put more force behind the word this time. It seemed to do the trick.
Rainbow put her hooves up in a defensive manner. "Okay! Geeze."
"Thank you." I said, then turned to address the rest of the room's occupants, who had various expressions of fear and surprise. "Looks like you may have to stay the night here, 'cause that storm doesn't seem to be letting up any time soon."
"I-is that safe?" Fluttershy squeaked, looking to Twilight.
"Oh yes," Twilight reassured, "like I said, we should be fine here for at least a few days."
"Alright then, looks like-" I began but was interrupted by Pinkie Pie inhaling deeply.
"We're having a SLUMBER PARTY!!!" she shouted, jumping into the air and, to my utter surprise, staying there for a few seconds.
I could not contain the expression that crept onto my face. Some wide-eyed, slack jawed mix of shock, confusion, and frustration that was just as soon shared by six of the other seven creatures in the room.
Rarity sighed. "Just goes to show that you should always expect the unexpected from Pinkie Pie. As long as she still has her cutie mark she will always be the same crazy party mare."
I sighed, and grabbed my radio, and switched the channel to the one I need. "Sergeant Major Lakes" I said, holding the input button.
"Yes, sir?" The voice of Lakes responded.
"It would appear that the Elements of Harmony are going to be staying a bit longer than expected." I said. Pinkie let out a noise that I could only describe as a giddy squee.
"Understood, sir. Let me guess, they're gonna wait out the storm here." Sergeant Major Lakes monotoned.
"Affirmative." I said.
"Alright, I'll get started on the paperwork. Lakes out." He responded.
"Thanks, Lakes. Foote, out." I said, then put down my radio. "So, that's settled. You guys should head down to the barracks. I'll meet you down there shortly, I just have a few things to do first."
"How do we, um, get there." Fluttershy asked.
"Once you leave this building, it's to your immediate left. Pinkie knows the layout of you need to know." I said.
"Mm-hm. Let's go, girls. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can start the party!" Pinkie proclaimed with great enthusiasm.
And with that, they left my office, closing the door behind them.
I dropped my arms to my sides, tilted my head back until it hit the headrest of my chair, and let my neutral expression drop as I let out a defeated groan. 'Great.' I thought, then sighed internally. 'At least this gives me a valid excuse to put this off a bit longer, if a bit half-assed.' I sighed internally again. 'I could really use a pick-me-up right now. Something a little stronger than a cigar and some weak beer.' I eyed my phone, currently only capable of inter-site communications, 'I wonder.'
I sighed and picked up the phone. "First things first. Plus, doing it this way will remove a step from the second thing." I pressed the button for the PA system.
"Attention all personnel, civilian VIPs on site. Repeat, civilian VIPs on site. That is all."
My message played across every loudspeaker in the base. I pressed the button to end the announcement. 'And now we wait.'
Sure enough, five seconds later, my phone rang.
I picked it up. "Foote."
""Civilian VIPs"?" Colonel Locke said. "Let me guess, the Elements of Harmony."
"Yup." I responded.
"They came all the way here in this weather?!" His voice was a little louder than necessary.
"No. They showed up about twenty minutes before the storm started. Remember, they're not used to weather happening on its own. I'll also have to give you a recap of our conversation." I explained.
"Alrighty-" he began, but I stopped him.
"Hang on. Do you know if the phones are connected to Earth yet?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah they are." Colonel Locke said.
"Alright, thanks, Locke." I said.
"Alrighty then, see ya at supper." He said, then hung up.
I took a breath, then put in my wife's phone number.
It rang twice. "Come on, Shelby. Pick up." It rang once more, then a pause, and I heard the voice I'd been itching to hear for nearly a month.
"Hello?" Asked the voice of my wife.
For only the second time this month, I dropped my firm tone. "Hey, honey."
There was a gasp, and three familiar voices asking what happened in the background.
"Put me on speaker." I said. She obliged. "Hello, ladies."
There was a trio of mid-twenties women squealing like little girls. I held the phone away from my ear until it ended. When it finally did end, someone picked up the phone.
"Shawn." Said the voice of one of Shelby's three best friends, Mandi, who is currently six months pregnant.
"Mandi, how's the baby doing?" I asked, making fun of her like I have been doing for the past six months.
"How is it that even after being deployed, you still have it in you to crack jokes?" She asked with about as much sarcasm as you'd expect.
"I find it hilarious knowing that you pee yourself every time you laugh. Now where's my wife." I said.
"Where she is is in tears." She responded.
"Then give her the phone, miss mommy-to-be." I said in a snarky tone.
"Keep talking, soldier boy." Mandi said.
"Give her the phone, Mandi." Krista, another one of Shelby's long time best friends, said. I could also her Hannah talking to Shelby in the background.
There was a sound of what I imagine was the phone being passed from one person to another, and Shelby spoke again.
"Shawn!" I could hear the sobs in her voice. "What took you so long to call? Oh my god, I thought something happened to you." She sniffed.
"I'm fine, just got a little held up." I said in my best comforting voice, which involved dropping my voice to the lowest it can go without noticeable effort, and saying my words slowly and clearly.
"I was so worried!" I could tell that she was in tears again. "Where are you?"
"That is information that I, unfortunately, am not permitted to disclose." I said. We where under orders to not disclose any information about the project to any civilian source.
"Then what can you tell me?" Shelby said, desperate to at least know something about my whereabouts.
"Not much. But I can tell you this; I will come home, eventually." I said, my tone regaining some of it's firmness. "Mark my words, I will come home. But until then, I can only be the soldier on the battlefield. I need you to be the soldier at home. Take care of the kids, take care of yourself . I want you to not worry about me so much. Now I know, that's a wild request, but I need to know that you are okay, that you are not constantly killing yourself worrying about me. Just promise me that you will do that- promise me that you will not worry about me, because I can take care of myself. And I will come home. "
Shelby let out a long sigh. "I promise." she said, and I know she meant it; she would never lie to me about something like this.
"I love you." I said, knowing without a doubt that it was true and making that fact evident.
"I love you too." And Shelby felt the same way.
And at that, I, with great reluctance, hung up the phone.
I took a deep breath through my nose, held it for a few seconds, then exhaled out my mouth. I stood up and walked around my desk and out the door, turning off the light and closing the door on the way out.
As I was reaching the door to the common area in the barracks, I could hear laughter inside. I opened the door and walked in, and was greeted by Twilight, though the several humans in the room also looked at me when I came in.
"Oh, hey Shawn." Twilight said, apon noticing my presence.
I did a saluting action with two fingers while walking towards my quarters.
"Something wrong dear? You seem distraught." Rarity said.
I sighed and turned to face them. "It's nothing. I just got off the phone with my wife is all. I'll be fine."
"I'm not entirely sure what that means, but if you say you'll be alright, I won't pry." Rarity replied.
"I appreciate that." I said. "What where you guys laughing about?"
"Oh, I was about to tell the awesome story of how I got my cutie mark." Rainbow Dash said. Everyone snickered.
I shrugged. "Seems interesting."
"Yeah it is!" Rainbow boasted. "It also ties into every pony else's stories, so it's probably the best choice to tell first."
"Alright, proceed." I said, with a bit of amusement in my voice.
"Alright. It all started when I saw these two colts, that I knew where bullies, picking on Fluttershy, who I'd known for a while by then..."
"...And as I was flying towards the course ring, I could see clouds forming around me, and right when I went through the ring, I immediately did a 90 degree turn to face upward, and BOOM, Sonic Rainboom. A giant ring of rainbow colors explodes outwards, and behind me I'm leaving a massive rainbow trail, bigger and brighter than the one I leave by flying normally. It. Was. Awesome! And somewhere during that time, my cutie mark appeared." Rainbow Dash said, gesturing towards her cutie mark, while also struggling to contain her ego.
"I fell off of the cloud when the race started, and was caught by large cluster of butterflies. Then met all the animals on the ground. I had never been on the ground before then. When the rainboom happened, they got scared. I helped them calm down, and my cutie mark appeared." Fluttershy said, louder and prouder than I'd yet heard out of her.
"I was taking an entrance exam for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, which involved hatching a dragon egg. I later came to find out that I was meant to fail that test, to see how I responded to failure. I, of course, couldn't do it under my own power, I was only eight, but just as I had given up hope, the rainboom happened, startling me and causing a magic surge, a big one. During this surge, I temporarily turned my parents into putted plants, and hatched Spike's egg and turned him into a fully grown dragon that punched through the roof. Princess Celestia must have seen the dragon in the roof, and came in to diffuse the situation. She managed to calm me down, then pointed out that I got my cutie mark." Twilight was beaming with pride, and nuzzling a thoroughly embarrassed Spike.
"Betta make yourself comfortable buddy, aint no way she lettin' go any time soon." said Second Lieutenant Clinton, seeing the maternal pride shining in her eyes like everyone else. She may not feel like it but in every other way, she is Spike's mother.
"Anyhoo, who's next?" Aim said.
Applejack sighed. "Ah guess it would be better ta just get this out of the way now. Mah life story is not exactly the most happy one, mah parents passed away in an accident just before Ah turned eight, leaving mah brother, baby sister and Ah with mah granny. Shortly after the accident, I decided to run off to Manehattan..."
"...Somehow, when Ah saw that rainbow, Ah knew the farm is where Ah belonged. So Ah rushed home, an that's when mah cutie mark appeared." Applejack had some air of both sorrow and pride of her story.
'Now I understand why she seemed so touchy when I was talking about my family.' I thought to myself.
"Pinkie, you can go first." Rarity said.
"Okay! So when I was a little filly, I lived and worked with my parents and three sisters on a rock farm, where there was no fun or smiling." Pinkie began.
"Wait wait wait, did you say your parents own a rock farm !?" I asked incredulously.
Pinkie and Twilight looks at each other, then turned back to me. "We'll explain later." they said in unison.
"Alright," I shrugged, "continue."
"Okay, one day, I was moving rocks from one field to another, feeling as depressed and unfulfilled as usual, when I look up at the usually cloudy sky, only to see a huge wave of color push all the clouds away. I felt happiness on a level I had never felt before. I felt so happy, I just had spread this happiness as to my family. So I made a party in my family's silo. We never really had parties before, so I went off of what little I had heard about the subject. The next morning, my dad came out to the silo, and just stopped in shock, the rest of my family soon followed. At first, I thought that they didn't like it, then, ever so slowly, the began to smile, and I knew it was a success. I got my cutie mark during the party." Pinkie couldn't help but bounce where she sat.
"I always knew I would be a fashionista. The day I got My cutie mark, I had designed the costumes for a school play, and the costumes where missing a certain flare. I was working on them some more, when suddenly, my horn lit up with magic, and began dragging me around. Unicorn magic doesn't happen without reason, so I let it guide me, I followed it for hours, until I eventually came across where it was bringing me, and you can imagine my rage when I realized it was just a massive boulder. I was about to leave, when a giant blast of magnificent color blasted across the sky, splitting the boulder in two. The boulder was full of gemstones, that I suddenly had the idea of incorporating into the costumes. It was during the show that I earned my cutie mark, and isn't it beautiful!" Rarity had some sense of, 'Look at me! I'm drop-dead gorgeous!', about her.
I, however, had different ideas in my mind. "Anyone want to say it?" I said, addressing the present soldiers.
Clinton stood up and turned to face Rarity. "Gemstones. Sown into costumes. For a school play ! What, the actual fuck
"Thank you, Second Lieutenant." I said, "Couldn't have said it any better myself."
Twilight sighed. "I'd suggest making yourselves comfortable, this is going to be a very long speech that will alternate between Pinkie and It. It will explain why that, while unorthodox, is not really bad."
Three hours later
The last three hours were spent discussing many different topics, beginning with how rock farming works and how gems develop naturally like some form of wild crop, then moving on to more arbitrary topics. The Equestrians became rather flustered when one of the female soldiers, who is also a physiologist outside of the Corps, answered Twilight's questions about different points of our anatomy. Rarity was mortified when she was told why we constantly wear clothes. We all had a good laugh when she pulled a couch out of absolutely nowhere and fainted onto it, mostly because of the utter randomness of the situation.
It wasn't until Mess Call blared over the PA system, that I realized just how long we'd been talking.
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"What is that music anyway?" Applejack asked.
"That's called Mess Call." I said, getting up and moving toward the door. The ponies followed. "It's one of a few bugle calls used on this site, more to preserve tradition than anything. Back before we had radio communication, we would use bugle calls to signal troops. Mess Call's purpose is it's name, it's played at meal times. You'll hear the other two we use here tonight and tomorrow morning."
"Wait. You mean were going to the Canteen? Outside!?" Rarity suddenly said, seeming horrified.
"Yeees," I said slowly, "Where else would we eat?"
"No. Absolutely not. I simply refuse to ruin my perfect mane." she whined.
"Rarity, it's across the street. You'll only be in the rain for about ten seconds if you go fast." Rainbow Dash gestured to the canteen out a window, while flying at my eye level.
Rarity just sat there, for a few moments before she relented. "Fine." she said, then trotted out the door, immediately making a mad dash towards the open canteen door.
"She knows that she will have to come back in here after we eat, right?" I said to no one in particular.
"Oh, she knows. She actually did the same thing when we came in here, too. And five bits says she'll do the same thing when we come back." Rainbow Dash said.
I walked out the door, followed by Rainbow Dash and a few soldiers. "Well that's obvious, also I don't have any bits."
Rainbow paused. "Right, I forgot about that."
We walked through the door into the canteen, where Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack Pinkie Pie, and Spike, where waiting, all covered in varying amounts of rainwater.
"So, what's on the menu, Shawn?" Spike asked.
"You know, I'm not sure if your luck is good or bad. Since it's Friday, it's pizza night." I said, scratching my head. "Come to think of it, Spike, have you ever had any kind of meat? I saw you eating whatever it was that Twilight had in Canterlot."
"Nope, never eaten any kind of meat in my life." Spike said.
"I'm just not gonna question how that's possible." I said, shaking my head. "Either way, we have a few vegetarian pizzas for people who like them, and then some that just don't have any meat on them, so find what you like and grab however much you think you'll eat."
A few minutes later, we all sat at a table with Colonel Locke.
"Major Foote?" Colonel Locke spoke.
"Yes Colonel?" I said.
"You asked me about the phones earlier." he said.
"I called home." I responded simply.
"Ah. Now that you mention it, I should call my son sometime soon." he said.
I hummed. "Anyway, Spike, how's it tasting?"
"So good." Spike said through a mouth full of pizza.
"Spike, don't talk with your mouth full." Twilight scolded.
I had given Spike a small piece of sausage, and he said he liked it, so he got sausage pizza.
"What do you have on yours?" Spike asked.
"Pepperoni, but I will not even dare give that to you. That is the last thing you need to get a taste for." I said.
"Why not?" Spike asked, confused.
"Pepperoni is a mixture of cured pork and beef. In other words, it's made of pig and cow." I said.
Fluttershy seemed unphased, everyone else seemed to just be trying to get the image out of their heads. "Yeah, I thought that would get to you guys." I said.
"Ah'm jus' a bit disturbed, cows can talk over here, and Ah guess it's jus' hard ta imagine them not bein' able ta." Applejack said.
"Yeah, I saw the talking cows, even had a short conversation with one. They seem intelligent, but it was just weird talking to something that I know shouldn't be. I also couldn't shake the thought that the whole arrangement must be really weird for both parties involved."
"They're fine with it, so Ah'm fine with it." she said.
"Alright then." I responded
About an hour later, we where sitting in the common area of the barracks once again, and once again discussing arbitrary topics.
"You know, I want to get a comparison of the two species. Ponies on Earth and Ponies in Equestria." I said
"Yeah, why not. Might be fun to see what we're like over there." Rainbow Dash said.
"Okay. So, you know what I first noticed? Your eyes. They're massive. Horses' eyes on Earth are usually about the size of a person's, if not slightly bigger." Master Sergeant Fry said.
"Horses on Earth are also dichromatic and their vision is motion based." I added.
"Not dichromatic, but we are ever so motion based vision, especially when we're young. It mostly goes away after eighteen months, but it still effects us as adults. But it's only really a hindrance when we're not paying attention." Twilight said.
"Something I noticed is that your joints are really weird. Ponies on Earth can't lift their legs above their barrels. Basically they work nothing like yours from what I've seen." I said.
"Not much to say about that. Our anatomy is just different I guess." Twilight said.
"Well, it just seems weird to me that-" I began, but was interrupted by the sound of a bugle.
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Immediately upon hearing Taps, the room went silent. Heads where bowed and eyes where closed. A few of the ponies tried to speak, but where hushed by several soldiers each time.
When the call ended, I stood up, and addressed the room.
"Nineteen hundred hours, two hours to lights out, why don't we set up some accommodations for our guests?" I said.
The eight soldiers in the room nodded and set to work clearing out and preparing the rooms.
I turned to address the ponies. "Okay, so here's the thing. We have three spare rooms, each with two beds in them. They are currently used for storage but are intended for VIPs if we ever have them. I'm sure you can see the predicament here."
"There's not enough beds for all of us." Fluttershy said.
"Correct. So, we have two options, either two of you share a bed, or we MacGyver it and make it work somehow." I said.
"Not sure what 'MacGyver it' means, but I think Spike and I can share a bed fine, we have several times in the past. Hay, he used to refuse to sleep anywhere else except beside me." Twilight said.
"Pff . Alright then." I said, then turned to a soldier that was passing by to grab something form a storage closet.
"Just put a pillow on both ends of one of the beds." I said, gesturing toward Twilight And Spike.
"Alright." Master Sergeant Fry said, then turned to Twilight and Spike. "You guys want another blanket, so you don't have to share that too?"
Twilight and Spike both nodded.
"Wait, we're preparing for bed!?" Pinkie Pie said, disappointed.
"Yup, 'fraid so, Pinkie." Applejack answered for me.
"Lights out at nine PM, no exceptions ." I said.
"Aaaw, But we didn't even get to tell stories or anything." Pinkie wined.
"Oh, believe me, we'll have plenty of time in the morning to tell stories, among other things." I reassured her. "Oh by the way, You'll have to get up at oh-five hundred with everyone else."
"What?" Rainbow Dash said with an irritated expression.
"Oh, but then I won't be able to get my beauty sleep." Rarity complained.
"Hey, sometimes sacrifices must be made to achieve happiness." I said. "Besides, we'll have coffee and stuff at breakfast."
"When's Breakfast?" Applejack asked.
"Six thirty." I responded simply. "Now, I'd suggest you get however much of your nightly routine done as you can. That's what I'm gonna do."
An hour and a half later, after completing most of my evening routine, which involved a shower and changing my clothes, I was brushing my teeth, in fact, I had walked out of the latrines, when Fluttershy approached me.
"Hey Fluttershy, you need something?" I asked.
Fluttrshy took a deep breath, I assume to calm her nerves, and spoke. "I just wanted to say, thank you for doing all this for us. It's very kind of you."
I smiled slightly, "Well what did you expect me to do, make you leave and let you guys drown in the rain and mud?" I said sarcastically. I knelt down and put my hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to tell you something. When I was young, I made a promise to follow a set of character defining points, called the Scout Law. These points became my moral code, excluding one that is kind of irrelevant, but the point stands. Those points are this; A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. It is because of my dedication to these laws, that I am the person I am today. I'm glad to help anyone, my friends especially."
A small smile appeared on Fluttershy's face, as she blushed slightly and looked away. "I'm glad you think of us that way."
I smiled again, patted her shoulder twice, and stood up. "Goodnight, Fluttershy."
"Goodnight, Shawn." Fluttershy said back.
I walked over to my door and opened it, but stopped before I opened it. "Goodnight, everybody." A couple dozen voices responded with "Goodnight, sir." or "Goodnight, Major". Seven responded with "Goodnight, Shawn."
With that, I went into my quarters, closed the door, and got into my bed, and racked out. Even asleep, I know the lights shut themselves off fifteen minutes later.
Oh-Five Hundred Hours, The Next Day
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Reveille! Get out of the rack!
Even five years later, those six words from my Drill Instructor are still engrained into my mind. They are the reason I use Reveille as an alarm even when I am inactive. Every time those words cross my mind, I am immediately wide awake. 'I guess that's the point.' I thought, as I do every morning.
Nevertheless, I quickly got up, wide awake. I stretch my back, until I heard a satisfying crack , and went to work getting myself dressed.
Twenty minutes later, I walked out of my quarters into the hallway, and saw the normal sight, with five exceptions. Four where in the form of small ponies, the fifth, a large reptile, a dragon. Three of the ponies and the dragon where half awake, with their eyes half-lidden, and their ears pinned down. The fifth pony, however, was, as I expected, just as awake as the soldiers.
"Let me guess," I said to Applejack, "You're used to waking up at the crack of dawn on your farm."
"Eeyup." Applejack responded.
"Fair enough. I see we have a few stragglers, though." I said, looking at the two still sleeping ponies.
I stood between the two doors, took a deep breath, and shouted with as much force behind my voice as possible, "Reveille! Get out of the rack!"
Immediately, Rainbow lept out of the bed and landed on her hooves, wings fully extended, standing at what I assumed to be attention.
Rarity on the other hand, was not so efficient. She shot her head up and looked at me, then got the most pissed off look on her face.
"What, are you doing?" Rarity demanded, her tone harsh yet still quiet.
"Okay, if your gonna be like that, sleep in all you want, but I'm gonna go run for a bit, and by the time I get back, it'll be breakfast time. I expect you all to be at least over the delirium by then." I said. Every pony gave some form of affirmative response, Rarity flopped back onto the pillow.
One hour later, after running several laps around the base, not including the mile-and-a-half long runway, I walked back into the barracks.
As I entered, I noticed all six ponies and Spike lying on the various couches in the room, chatting with some soldiers. Spike was asleep next to Twilight. 'I don't blame him, he is a baby dragon after all. When I was his age, I was never awake before seven.'
"Hey girls, I got some good news and some bad news." I said.
"What's the good news?" Pinkie asked, already hopping with energy.
Jesus Christ. "The good news is the rain has slowed down to nothing more than a drizzle, the sun's coming through the clouds in a couple places." I said.
"So, what's the bad news?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"The bad news is that the entire trail is still gonna be like quicksand for a while." I said, "I do, however, have a plan to get to Ponyville."
"What's the plan?" Twilight asked.
"You'll see. Right now though..."
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Thank you God. "C'mon, let's get some grub." I said, gesturing towards the door.
Spike sat up, yawning and stretching. "What time is it?"
"Six thirty." Twilight said. "You fell asleep again."
"Oh, sorry." He said, rubbing his arm.
"Ah, it's fine." I waved him off, "I don't blame you. When I was your age, I was never awake any earlier than seven o'clock." I said, walking towards the door. Everyone in the building followed.
"So, what's for breakfast. I'm starving." Pinkie said.
"I never bother to memorize the menu pattern. All I know for sure is what's on it, besides a few special occasions, and that every other Friday is Pizza night." I said.
"Why doesn't that change?" Rainbow asked.
"It helps keep morale up. We are isolated from our entire planet by the very walls of the universe, after all. The Navy does something similar for submarine crews, who are submerged for months at a time." I said.
"Oh, we'll have to discuss the technological marvels of the United States military, and humans in general at some point." Twilight said, her eyes shining with an almost childlike curiosity.
"That, is something we can do." I said.
"Can you two eggheads at least wait until we're all not trapped in the room with you?" Rainbow Dash said. Twilight and I both rolled our eyes.
"Is she always like that?" I asked, already guessing the answer.
"Except for when it's useful." Twilight said.
We walked into the canteen, and instantly the smell of cinnamon, maple syrup, and the divine scent of bacon hit my nose. A small smile found its way onto my lips.
Pinkie and Spike both took a deep breath in through their noses.
"Mmm. Prench Toast." Pinkie said.
"What is that smell?" Spike asked.
"That, my reptilian friend, is a little delicacy from America called bacon. It is possibly the worst thing for your cholesterol levels, in normal portions, to ever exist, and yet, not even divine intervention can stop anyone who's ever had it from eating it." I said.
"Sold." Spike said, jumping off of Twilight's back.
"It's better when you get the real stuff. What we get is, while still not terribly processed, still processed. It's at least fresh enough to be good." I said.
"Hey, you said it's good, so I'm gonna try it." Spike said.
"That's the spirit." I said
"Wait, Is it like hay bacon, but made of meat instead of hay?" Applejack asked, genuinely curious.
I said nothing. I simply stopped, turned, walked up to the nearest wall, hit my head on it once, walked back, and just stood there with an emotionless expression, while the equestrians gave one that appeared perplexed.
"What was that about?" Spike said after a short pause.
"I just died a little bit on the inside." I said quietly.
Ten minutes later, we were once again sitting at a table with Colonel Locke.
"So, Shawn, Colonel locke, you said you have been in combat with guns before, being shot at, have either of you ever been hit?" Rarity asked, now awake after having a cup of coffee.
"Yes, I have. quite a few times. I only have one bullet wound to show for it though, the rest of the time it just hit my armor." I said.
"I have also been hit before." Colonel Locke said, running a finger over the long scar near the top of his head. "Damn thing scraped the surfaace of my skull, they still ended up having to replace a small section."
Fluttershy looked concerned, everyone else was intrigued.
"What about yours, Shawn? Can we see it?" Rainbow Dash asked, half climbing onto the table.
"Why not." I lifted my shirt, revealing the small pinkish circle in my side, and the much larger one on the other side. "Three-oh-eight managed to land in a spot where the body armor didn't cover. That same time I got hit here," I pointed to the middle of my right pectoral, "and here." I pointed to a spot directly to the left of my navel. "The top one was the first to hit, and it ended up cracking three ribs, the second one knocked the wind out of me and caused me to fall to the ground, where I was hit with the one that went right through me. Luck was not on my side that day, because the only reason the son-of-a-bitch was able to hit me was because my M-16 misfired. As soon as I realized what was happening, which was as I was falling to the ground, I threw my M-16 away and pulled my M-9. I then put a nine millimeter into it's rightful place in the fucker's brain." I emphasized my point by doing a finger gun gesture.
The ponies and dragon stared, gaping at me.
"You are a much more detailed storyteller than me, Major." Colonel Locke commented.
"I've always been like that, Colonel." I replied.
"Y-you just... just killed him. No remorse, just killed him." Twilight stuttered out, eyes wide with horror.
"He was going to kill me, and many others. He had a high-powered rifle, and was on the third floor of a building. Had I not killed him before he could get set up, he would have shot and killed many more than me, better shoot me than kill a dozen others. To make matters worse, everyone we killed that day was fighting us because of their religious beliefs no less. If he's putting his beliefs before a man's life, I have no problem putting my own life over his." I said sternly. "Also, I did feel remorse. I always hate it when I have to kill people. It's a huge relief to me that most of them will just surrender to an M-27 IAR or an M-16A5 pointed at their heads, with six-foot, buff, highly trained and heavily armored U.S. Marine with his finger on the trigger. I honestly don't know how I'm still sane after some of the things I've done, or if I even am still sane."
"It's... just kind of disturbing." Rainbow Dash said.
By this point Fluttershy was cowering in fear, tears streaming down her cheeks, leaving a damp trail in her fur.
"Oh for the love of- don't you dare get that goddam violent soldier bias." I said.
"What do you mean, dear." Rarity asked, still noticeably apprehensive.
"You see it too often. Employers think that a military background automatically means that they are violent. It's not that big of a problem by comparison, but too many veterans are left unemployed and living on the streets because of it." Colonel Locke said.
"Veterans living on the streets!? Do humans have no respect for those who sacrifice so much for them?" Rarity said, disgusted at the thought.
"Most people do, but that does not include much of the upper class, and the majority of the federal government." I said, then facepalmed. "Can we get off this topic? Just thinking about it makes me want to punch congress in it's entirety."
"Congress?" Twilight said, giving me a quizzical look.
"The United States is a constitutional republic. The people always have a say in what happens, they elect who is on congress, and who is the President. It helps a lot, compared to other countries systems, but it also makes me question the competence of mankind in general at times." I said.
Twilight chuckled slightly. "Tell me about it."
"Moving on." Rarity said, noticeably annoyed, but not with anyone in particular. "Shawn, I noticed a black mark on your back, what is it?"
"Oh, that's a tattoo. It says 'For those I love, I will sacrifice all that is given to me with an open heart, and a closed fist." I replied.
"A tattoo huh. Nice. I've been trying to decide whether I should get one or not, they're kinda expensive." Rainbow Dash said.
"But why ? I just don't understand the appeal of permanently changing the color of a patch of fur." Rarity said.
"Wait, so, ponies can get tattoos, but it involves forcibly changing the pigments that are responsible for the color of your fur?" I said.
"Yeah, how else would you do it?" Twilight asked.
"We definitely don't change the natural pigmentation of our skin. There are only a few animals on Earth that can do that, for example a cuttlefish. No, we take a thing with a bunch of little needles coated in a safe ink. The needles penetrate the epidermis and insert the ink beneath it, leaving a line if you move it around." I said.
"Sounds kinda painful." Spike said.
"Just a little bit." I said.
There was a short silence.
"So, about your plan to get us back to town." Twilight said.
"You'll be briefed on it at the same time as everyone else that will be involved." I said. I then turned, and mouthed 'I'll explain later.' to Colonel Locke, to which he nodded.
Immediately after breakfast, I talked to Colonel Locke, and told him my plan. He approved. I then made an announcement for five of the ten fireteams on site, as well as the elements, to meet in the briefing room at oh-eight-hundred hours.
It is now oh-eight-hundred hours.
And everyone is here.
"A-te~n-tion!" I said loudly upon becoming certain that all those requested to be here, where here. Everyone stood at attention, including the equestrians, Rainbow Dash having the best stance.
I disregarded that train of thought. Worry about that later. "Today, we are going to be running a drill. Simple VIP escort with a few improvisations, most notably in the case of Miss Dash." I had come to learn that Rainbow Dash lived in a house made of clouds, floating in place in the sky, thirty-five meters off the ground. "In any case, our objective," I grabbed the presentation tablet, giving me a display of what was currently projected on the wall next to me, a map of Ponyville, "is to insert on the South-Eastern and South-western edges of town." I circled two spots right outside town, one between the edge of the Everfree and the edge of town, and the other in Sweet Apple Acres. "Once there, five teams will proceed on foot with the five VIPs whose delivery points are... accessible. The last team will escort Miss Dash to her delivery point in the two-eighty. When a team gets their VIP to their respective delivery points, they will then move to the South-Eastern insertion point, where both two-eighties will be standing by for extraction." I was drawing lines every so often, and circling the 'delivery points'. "The Elements of Harmony will act as our VIPs, if you haven't deduced that by now. And the delivery points will be their respective homes."
( OOC: Okay, so, this Image. I know It's not exactly show-canon accurate. The "Church Of Celestia" for example. However, I have come to accept this general layout of Ponyville given in this map, Just Imagine Rainbow's house is positioned to the North-East of Fluttershy's cottage, and disregard anything that just seems wrong.)
"Any questions?" I said, looking into the crowd of MCCUU garb and pastel fur. One soldier raised his hand, and I indicated for him to speak.
"Why insert on the outskirts of town?" he said.
"The only place in town large enough to land a two-eighty is in the middle of the market district. I think, and hope, you can see why that's a bad idea." I said. "Any other questions?" The room remained silent. "Then we deploy at oh-nine-hundred. Be there and ready by then."
"Aye aye, sir!" the soldiers said.
"Dismissed." I said, then began walking through the side door, motioning to the Elements to follow me.
Once out the door, Twilight moved up to be trotting beside me. "So, this is your plan. Use us as a part of a drill."
"Yep." I said, "I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all" she said.
"So, does this mean that we get to ride in one of your flying machines?" Rainbow Dash asked hesitantly, flying up next to me.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes."
Rainbow did a small inside loop, then stopped and did a fist-pumping action with her hoof, exclaiming "Yes!"
I rolled my eyes again.
"Yippee! this as gonna be fun!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
And a third time.
"I'm gonna go get suited up, follow me and we'll go to the helipad when I'm ready." I said.
About an hour later, we're all loading into two V-280s. "Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Spike, get into this one with me. The rest of you get into the other one."
They all nodded, and jumped up into their assigned V-280.
Soon, we were in the sky, absolutely barreling over the Everfree Forrest, easily scaling the kilometer between the edge of town and the base.
"I suppose I should say this now as apposed to the very last second." I said, barely speaking over the combined sound of a jet engine and a prop. "The way this is going to happen is we're going to perform a standard tactical insertion; the aircraft is going to hover fifteen feet above the LZ, we are then going to jump out of the aircraft, and proceed with the mission."
"Are you nuts!?" Pinkie shouted, having the same problem. "you guys may be able to do that without a problem with your robo-suit... things, but Twilight, AJ, Spike and I can't do that. We aren't Pegasi if you haven't noticed yet."
"First of all, yes, i may be a bit fucked up in the head. Second, Pinkie, where you being rational ?" I quipped.
Twilight spoke up. "Shawn-"
"Major." I corrected, just for the scenario.
"Okay, Major, how do you expect us to do this safely?" she asked.
"That's the thing," I said, "Usually, we are going the other way with this, picking people up from the ground in the helo, and we'll pull the up with a harness and a winch, but... the harnesses don't really work for you guys."
Twilight broke in. "Okay, before you tell us whatever ludicrous idea you have, I'll just teleport us down."
"Yeah,"I said, "That would probably be better than any of the ideas I had."
"Then It's settled." Applejack said. "Ah'd much rather trust Twilight with a spell she's performed dozens a times than some Gung Ho alien.... no offense."
"It takes a lot more than that to offend me, AJ." I said.
"Ooh, lookie. I can see the base from here." Pinkie said, standing at one of the small port holes.
I moved over to her, and looked out. There, on it's own in a vast expanse of wilderness, stood the base, with it's flag flying high in the breeze. Applejack and Twilight joined us.
"I think I finally have a good name for the place." I said to no one in particular.
"Oh, what do you have in mind?" Twilight asked.
"Fort Solitude."
7: A Night at Fort Solitude
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 