Kind of a Loonatic

My name is Eddie Fairchild; I’m 16 years old and I originally lived in Brooklyn, NY. That other voice you heard was my best friend, Aryanne. She’s a little dim sometimes, but she means well. She'll come up in the story later.

Oh, and that last line at the end? That would be my cousin Travis. He always tries to help me out, even if he knows that he can’t.

I don’t like to think much about my home life; mostly because my parents were pretty negligent…I’m surprised that they hadn’t been arrested.

Due to my parents’ negligent nature, the only comfort I found at home was in comic books and cartoons—(not your basic, namby-pamby nonsense, stuff that you’d think was bad at first glance, but after watching, you’d see that it was actually pretty good)—shows like Rocko’s Modern Life, Rugrats, Steven Spielberg Presents Tiny Toon Adventures, Steven Spielberg Presents Animaniacs, and Loonatics Unleashed.

Truth be told, Loonatics Unleashed was my first exposure to the Looney Tunes franchise, and it was pretty interesting, or as my cousin Travis would put it, ‘totally bonzo’! (‘Bonzo’ is his word for ‘awesome’.) The characters I really liked were ‘Ace’, ‘Tech E.’ , and ‘Rev Runner’, though I was particularly fond of their original names: ‘Buzz Bunny’, ‘Slick E. Coyote’, and ‘Roadster’.

After losing 2 ½ minutes of sleep due to my father’s drunken, angry ramblings and my mother’s tearful shock, I quietly begged to myself for someone to take me and my only friends away from this harsh, cruel place; to be somewhere better.

When that was done, I proceeded to quietly cry myself to sleep.

Look, I know I shouldn’t be crying at my age (especially considering how dad could get if he saw somebody crying when he was sober; imagine if he came in, drunk as a mule, and saw or heard me crying!), but I’m living through a harsh existence here—cut me some slack, people.

Eventually, I was woken up—but not by my alarm clock or the angry hung-over grunts and groans of my old man.

I was woken by a sound that seemed so… foreign to me. Travis told me about it in a letter he wrote to me once: it was…the sound of birds, chirping.

It was beautiful.

Of course, my attention had now been diverted to the strange, glowing auras surrounding my body: the auras flashed goldenrod, then green, and then a cool cobalt blue.

Weird.

Of course, as I turned around, there were seven funny-looking creatures staring back at me. The thing is, they all look human, and yet they don’t. One was purple with lavender eyes, had a horn coming out of her forehead (oddly enough, I could tell it was a female due to the, um…mammary glands), and wore a red, knee-length skirt, black shoes, white socks that went up her legs, a long-sleeved white button-down shirt, a black sweater-vest, and a dark purple tie. She also had long indigo hair with a single pink streak.

Another wore a blank t-shirt under a brown jacket. She had orange skin, blond hair, and wore a cowboy hat (I think it’s called a ‘Stetson’; not really too sure.—Ed.) with two muddy brown boots. The third wore a blue headband, white fingerless gloves, blue-and-white striped overalls, had poufy pink hair and baby-blue eyes. Luckily, I am an expert in resisting cute things, because if cartoons have taught me anything, it’s that nothing is that cute without some sort of ulterior motives behind its actions.

The fourth had light-pink hair, yellow fur and two wings from her back, emerald eyes and wore a green sweater with khaki pants. As I glanced towards her, she quickly turned away and I honestly swore I could see her blushing. The fifth also had a horn; she was completely powder-white except for her curled & coifed mane, which was a dark purple. She also had
dark-blue eyes, and wore a white dress with purple lining and black sleeves.

The sixth was sky blue, had 2 wings on her back that stuck out of her vest which was blue on the back with a shiny ‘lightning-bolt’ emblem and white on the front, though the most distinguishing features about her were her multicolored mane and her magenta eyes.

The last was somewhat shorter than the others; he had green plates sticking out of his head and trailing down his back; he wore a pair of sunglasses, black fingerless gloves, and a purple jacket with a white letter ‘S’ on the bottom right.

This was truly an odd-looking bunch.

Regular P.O.V.

Eddie couldn’t help but stare at the strange creatures standing before him. He had no knowledge of whether or not they were friendly.

Before Eddie could further assess his situation, he suddenly heard panicked cries for help in the distance.

“I guess it’s, um…’time to rev and roll’?” Eddie said, halfheartedly. Suddenly, the blue aura began to flash around him and engulf him in a blazing blue energy.

Eventually, the energy died down, and in Eddie’s place stood a black roadrunner with blue feet, blue tail feathers, blue fists, a blue beak, and a blue plume on top of his head.

“OH-HO, YEAH, BABY!! LET’S CRANK IT TO EE-LEVENNNNN!!!!” yelled the bird-like creature, giving an enthusiastic fist pump.

Then he turned back to his stupefied audience. “In case you’re wondering, the name’s Roadster, Rev Roadster.”

As he turned towards the direction of the terrified screams, his legs began to spin like the wheels of a Formula-1 racecar—maybe even faster!

Then, he reared back, and was gone in the blink of an eye.

The seven creatures were stunned. But the blue Pegasus was the most shocked out of them all.

“D-did you just see that?!” asked the dragon, Spike. “I mean, he was just like, ‘ZOOM!’ and then, he was gone!!!”

“There’s no way he could be faster than me!!” Rainbow Dash snapped, inciting a round of confused looks.

“What? That’s usually how things go in these kinds of stories.” she replied.

As the pony-folk carried Rev Roadster on their shoulders, he knew that he’d finally found a home for himself.

Elsewhere, from the attic window of an empty house, three truly strange creatures were looking down at this new hero.

The first one was a lavender unicorn with a purple-and-green mane; the second was a human girl with puffy orange hair; the third was a humanoid creature with fiery hair that stood straight up, wearing a strapless dress that looked like fire, and green eyes with black scleras. Compared to the other two, she looked like something out of the fiery pits of Hell.

“This creature is...impressive,” said the demonic-looking creature.

“Indeed...if we can somehow get him under our control, we could be unstoppable!!” said the human, inciting a glare from the ‘she-demon’.

“I told you already; Chrysalis will be the one to become unstoppable!! So don’t even contemplate trying to double-cross me, because I will make you regret it.” she replied.

The unicorn and the human both nodded, terrified.