Anon You Have No Power Here

Chapter 2: Searching For a Purpose

Anon is now in Equestria. You are now in Equestria. All in order to face challenges which you don’t understand why you have a reason to endure in the first place.

“I don’t get it” Anon said to himself in the confines of the room he had been offered in Twilight’s castle.

“Just because I was good at things. Better than others, excelled in fields I am being punished?” Anon asked himself.

“Why?” Anon said with a slam of his hand on a nearby table, anger rising in his voice. WHY ME?! WHY COULDN’T IT BE THEM! My brother, my sister! My friends! Deadbeats on the streets for all I care could take my place! you fumed.

And after minutes of ranting to yourself in the confines of your room you finally relaxed. Sitting on your bed with a heavy sigh.

“Why did it have to be me?” Anon said placing his hands on his face.

“All I ever wanted was to be the best. To be good at things, because I always felt that’s how I should be. If I hurt someone I never meant to. If I ridiculed and belittled another it was only meant to encourage them, not to break them.

“Is being zealous a bad thing? Was my brother wrong with all the advice he gave me?” he asked himself as he stared at the azure ground through an opening in his fingers.

A few seconds of silence passed and the only thing that could be heard. Was the sound of ticking. And for a while that ticking became unbearable. Till finally, Anon could take it no longer.

Turning around, to vent his anger on the time device the human grabbed the clock and threw it to the ground stomping on it ferociously. And every stomp, every crunch, and any snap seemed to ease the inner feeling of burning rage that seemed to have set deep within Anon.

That is until he heard his door creak.

Anon froze. His shoe now inches away from the already broken device. Slowly dropping his foot and turning around Anon turned to see the yellow pegasus known as Fluttershy staring at him from the doorway.

“I’ll- I’m sorry” she said her ears drooping ever so slightly.

You Anon could not help but feel bad about this, but anger still burned brightly.

And as Fluttershy turned away from the door Anon could not help but feel like if he let this kind mare leave he would only throw himself deeper into that pit full of rage.

“Wait!” Anon shouted with an extended hand.

Fluttershy did as such, looking back at the human with a sad look in her eyes.

“Please just- just wait I could use some company right now” he said as he moved away from the broken clock and flopped onto the bed. Patting the bed gently, he invites the mare over. “Come. Sit, please. I promise I won’t go into a rampage it’s just that...today’s been a rather rough day is all” he says sadly.

Fluttershy though hesitant at first, complies and moves towards the sad human. As she carefully passed the clock you Anon notice the frown she has before turning her attention back to you and approaches the bed.

Placing both hooves on the bed she climbs on with little effort, much to both your confusion and amazement.

Once the yellow pegasus was on the bed sitting beside you, both you and her remained silent for a couple minutes. Neither of them speak since neither of you really knew what to say at this exact moment.

Soon enough minutes seemed to become longer and longer but Anon seemed to busy to be lost in his thoughts to even notice.

Fluttershy who’d been remaining silent the entire time could no longer contain this awkward atmosphere much longer. Feeling a gentle tap on  your shoulder, you turn your head to look at the mare of kindness.

She smiles warmly at you.

“Hey there” she says quietly.

You don’t reply back but merely offer a sad smile. Fluttershy’s falters for a second but she quickly restores it.

“Anon” she says, “Why did you say you felt so weak when we found you? And why are you so mad? We just want to help and get to understand your situation...please?” she says looking at you with those giant cute eyes.

You sigh in reply. “Fluttershy, back where I’m from I did a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff that I was good at.”

“Well that’s good right? Everyone has something they’re good at. Ponies all have these things here called our cutie mark” she says looking over to the mark on her rump.

Your eyes follow the mark as well.

“Cutie marks you see are what show us our special talent. And they only appear once we show our interest in something and make it our main focus. Something we want to do and continue doing for a long time” she said with a smile.

“Isn’t that...awful though?” Fluttershy’s smile faded into a confused look.

“What do you mean Anon?”

“From what you’re telling me. Gaining a cutie mark means once you find the thing you’re most interested in, you leave yourself with nothing but that specific task. No other ways to explore, no different ways to expand on other opportunities. Wouldn’t that just be...boring?”

Fluttershy still gave you a confused look. There was now some space between you and her.

“Anon I don’t understand what are you saying?” she asked.

You sighed. Waving a hand over you gently gestured her to come closer. “Your cutie mark.” you say holding your phone to it so that she may see the reflection of the three butterflies.

“What does it mean? Do you take care of butterflies. Are you a caretaker for animals or something like that?” The yellow pegasus nodded.

“That’s what I’m talking about. When you get that cutie mark and you become limited to that one thing you’re good at. Doesn’t it..doesn’t it bother you that you may not be able to expand your skills?” Anon asked with a furrowed brow.

Fluttershy’s confused expression seemed to lighten a bit at this statement.

“Is there a reason you say this Anon?” Fluttershy asked placing a hoof on your hand. Thinking it would hurt to your amazement it didn’t. To be this gentle when you had bone shattering hooves accompanied with a horseshoe, you couldn’t help but be amazed how gentle she was even now.

Turning to look at the pegasus, she smiled encouragingly her teal eyes goading you to speak as they hit you with warmth you hadn’t felt in quite a while.

“Anon is there a reason you say having one thing you’re interested in is bad?” she asked again, her voice seeming to push you to speak but strangely in a gentle way.

Sighing after a few seconds of inner conflict you look away from Fluttershy and nod. “Well you see like I said earlier, back home I have a lot of different things I’m good at. And when I say a lot I mean-”

“I know” she interjected. “You mean a lot. And?”

“Well back home my species, which are called humans by the way. We don’t have just one thing we’re extremely good at. I mean sure we can be good at one thing and stick with it. But some of us like to expand our skills, I suppose I’m one of those people. But I took it to the extreme in my case.”

“Annnnnd?” she said rotating her hoof to get you to continue.

“And well I’m just saying, doesn’t it bother you? You know to be stuck doing something and only that one thing for the rest of your life? Don’t you feel I don’t know..limited in skill or quality?”

Fluttershy stared silently at Anon when he had finished for a few a seconds. Making him feel like he had just questioned the very thing that was important to this species Anon felt like he should’ve kept his mouth shut, but surprisingly, the mare smiled at you and shook her head.

“Of course not, Anon” she said still smiling warmly. “It doesn’t bother me or anypony else at all. I mean if it’s something we enjoy doing then I don’t see why we should ever threat over what other things we could, or couldn’t do.”

Looking away you weren’t so sure about that. After all you yourself hours ago had been great at everything. Done a lot of interesting things with that profound skill and luck of yours, but to be limited to one single thing for the rest of your life. Could you do it?

Actually now that you thought about it have I ever been interested in anything?

“Besides” Fluttershy’s voice said bringing you back from your thoughts. “I don’t mind having to stick with one thing like this for the rest of my life” she said with a smile. “If it weren’t for my cutie mark well I never would have met my friends you met outside. That and well I wouldn’t have been able to go on all the crazy adventures we’ve been through together.

“In a way if I never discovered what my true talent was then well, I’m not sure where I’d be right now. So to answer your question Anon, I’m glad I can take care of all my critter friends. Because I know that when I take care of them, I’m doing something I love. And I know that they know I like caring for them so they return the affection. If you’re not happy with what you’re trying to achieve or doing at a certain point then, can you really call that happiness Anon?” she asked getting off the bed and staring at you with that kind smile of hers.

“I suppose not” he replied. “But that still does not make a difference on the fact that I went from being amazing to a zero. From having potential beyond my imagination only to lose it all in one day.”

“Then make a new one” Fluttershy stated as she made her way towards the bedroom door. “If you lost your skills. Then all you have to do is make them again. Or at least find one that really interests you. Wouldn’t that be pleasant?”

You thought about it and nodded. Perhaps it would, perhaps it wouldn’t maybe time would tell.

“Maybe it would” you said with a small smile. The pegasus returned it before returning towards her retreat.

“Fluttershy” you called to her, she stopped turning her head back at you.

“Thanks, for the talk and all it uh, it really helped so thanks” Anon said with a slightly larger smile.

“You’re welcome Anon” she said smiling in return. “Come downstairs when you’re feeling up to it. Twilight, Pinkie and I are waiting for the rest of our friends to get here. We’ll call you down by then when they get here alright?”

You nodded, then watched the kind mare trot out and close your door. Leaving you to your own thoughts in the confines of your room once again.

The broken pieces of the clock caught your attention and you felt a brief moment of guilt. Having submitted to the effects of rage was a weakness on your part now that you looked back at it.

Moving towards the broken watch carefully, you began picking up the pieces of broken glass and dropping them into the disposal bin nearby. Before picking up the screws and any other gears that had initially kept the small clock working.

Once done you sighed, sitting back on the bed and letting your conversation with Fluttershy run through your mind.

“She is right about one thing” Anon said as he stared at the door Fluttershy had exited from. “I do need to make new skills here if I wish to move forward, but where to start?”

Looking around the room, you could see it was quite well organized. For a winged unicorn she seemed to be quite the organizer.

However looking at how well the books were arranged in this room along with the rest of the furniture in here would not help you come any closer to figuring out what you needed to do in order to give yourself some sort of purpose again.

Purpose, Anon thought. It’s the one thing you’ve always thought about. It’s one of the reasons why you strived to be so good at so many things. It’s because you had always been praised so greatly when you accomplished it.

That joy, that feeling of “YES! I did it! I achieved this through my skill and my skill alone!” it was something that you had always loved to revel in, even in the face of your enemies that challenged you you could not help but revel in victory, whenever you had won.

Anon froze, the wide grin that had been forming on his face slowly fading. Those words he had so strongly denied earlier worming their way back into his head.

“You are oblivious. Too oblivious for normal standards, and at the same time you do things that you yourself are not conscious of.”

No Anon thought with a shake of his head. “I’m not oblivious! I’m adept! Skilled! I- I...I’m not as skilled as I used to be” you sigh brushing a hand through your hair.

Don’t worry! a voice says in your head. You are the greatest, you will surpass this all you need to do is get out there!

You nodded agreeing with what you felt wasn’t your conscience but some other force that compelled you to push on. “That’s right. I shouldn’t give up!” you stated with new confidence.

Moving towards the bedroom door you looked down the stairs where you could hear the voices of Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Twilight downstairs. You nodded to yourself.

“If I want to start learning new skills, I should start with learning from the inhabitants here. Maybe then I can get a clearer understanding on why I was sent here.” And so taking one last look at your room you shut the door behind and began descending the stairs towards the voices of the three equines.

Where you would begin to figure out, what your purpose would come to in this new world.