Captive of a Changeling Bride

No point in being quiet I thought standing outside the door to the wedding hall.

“I’m back!” I shouted kicking the door open. The forty or so drones in the room snapped towards me and hissed like a bunch of feral cats until the queen raised her hoof.

“Does this mean you will be negotiating Equestria’s surrender?” she asked levitating a table and chairs beneath Celestia who was wrapped in a glowing cocoon.

“Love what you’ve done with the place-“I chuckled “-seeing Celestia suspended in a cramped slimy cocoon really brings the room together.”

“If only Luna were here, then I’d have the whole set”

I picked up the tattered remains of my vest and fished out the cigar pouch then sat in the chair facing the queen.

“Now then your highness-“I said lighting a cigar “-before we get to any kind of deal, I’ll start with the age old clichéd question of ‘why are you doing this?”

“Equestria has more love than any place I’ve ever encountered-” the queen answered though as I looked through the malice in her eyes I could see a tiny sliver of desperation “-my race needs love in order to survive and now that you’ve seen our true form, if you ruled Equestria would you let us feed in peace?”

“Maybe if you asked nicely, but judging by the look of Shining, he doesn’t look like he has long to last and since you’ve said you’ve been to other countries I can only guess that the ‘love’ ran out, so what will you do when all the love in Equestria runs out?" I looked at the wedding arch and threw my cigar stub past Cadance who was still trying to snap Shining out of his trance.

“She’s been trying to wake him ever since this started-” The queen scoffed as she levitated two more cigars placed them in her mouth, lit them and gave one to me “-and to answer your question, yes eventually our feed bags will die but Equestria has enough love to sustain us for centuries and when we run out we’ll-”

“Take over another country?” I interrupted “Fine keep taking over all the countries you can find until the planet is nothing but Changelings, what will you do when you start to starve again and your subjects start finding out there was another way to feed without conquest? To tell you the truth I don’t give a shit about what you do, if I’m dead by the time that happens the what’s the point in worrying? But know this; if you do happen to take me alive… you will not find any form of love from me.”

“We have other ways of feeding-“the queen growled “-but we're not here to talk about my eating habits, what do you possibly have to offer that could make me call of my attack and allow our races to coexist in peace without a war breaking out?”

“We split the territories“I answered looking up at Celestia to see a mix of shock and rage somehow if I could hear her thoughts she would have probably said ‘To the mines’.

The queen stamped out her cigar then conjured a map and an ink quill.

“And just what part of Equestria would you give us?” She asked.

“The entire west coast-“I answered taking the quill and tracing across the long land mass “-we can also establish trade routes, allow your subjects to work in various buildings in which their only payment will be love but not enough love to turn their boss into a drooling zombie. Any newborn or young changeling will be placed in a public school (if you decide to do so) and pony scientists will work with changeling scientists to create a synthetic form of love that can keep your race fed without having to resort to another invasion. All we ask of you is to stay in your normal forms so other ponies can get used to having a bug pony as their next door neighbor.”

“Tempting-“the queen muttered taking the quill “-but you do realize that we’ll need a city to be our capital”

“Take seaddle-” I suggested “-sure there’ll be too much rain in some seasons but it’ll give miss sun butt up the reassurance she wants in keeping an eye on you.”

“I do like the rain” the queen shrugged as a changeling with a monocle walked up with a treaty the queen levitated the treaty and gave it to me, I looked over each sentence as if it were a death warrant that would send me to a slow and painful death if I signed it but written, clear as day, word for word, was my agreement to split the land, giving the changelings education, making sure that they were given a chance to live without being hunted like animals and all I had to do was sign on the dotted line ordained with the royal seal.

“You do realize my signature’s useless since I’m neither royalty nor a princess.” I said placing the treaty on the table.

“Yes but in your absence, Celestia saw fit to give you enough diplomatic power to ensure the safety of Equestria if she and Luna were somehow incapacitated”

A systematic chuckle reverberated off the walls as the quill was levitated into my hoof in all honesty I though the six would crash into the room during the negotiation… time came to a standstill as the tip of the quill touched the line… a bright pink flash filled the room and everything went dark the last thing I felt was the wind in my feathers and the hot dry air of the wasteland.