Faux Mark: The Purple Balloon

Faux Mark

The Purple Balloon

Chapter 6: Port ‘n Starboard

Sometime early in the morning, way before even the sun woke up, Pinkie lay tossing and turning on the floor of Sunny’s living room. She couldn’t keep her eyes closed no matter how hard she tried. Eventually she stopped trying and turned toward the sofa.

“Psst,” Pinkie whispered. “Pepper, you asleep yet?”

Peppermint rolled over on the couch, taking most of the blanket with her, and stared begrudgingly at the ceiling. “Nope,” she grumbled. “Don’t worry, it’s not because you keep asking me or anything.”

“Oh, good, you can’t sleep either,” Pinkie continued. “Look, I’ve been thinking—”

Pepper held up a hoof in front of her. “It’s fine. I get it, you’re not comfy with me sleeping in the same room as you.”

“Umm, actually—”

“And I’m like ninety-nine percent positive that you’ll be fine.”

“Well that’s nice, but—”

“My itch has been fine for almost a week now. I don’t even think I’ll need so much as a plastic bag to—”

“Umm, Peppermint?” Pinkie interrupted.

“Yes?”

“That’s not what I was gonna talk about at all...”

Pepper turned over on the sofa toward Pinkie. “Oh, uhh,” she whispered, “Sorry I guess. What were you thinking about then?”

“Well I was thinking about some stuff from today...”

“Some stuff,” Pepper repeated. “Fascinating.”

“Like the guards-chasing-us stuff, and the, uhh, balloony-curse stuff.”

Pepper blushed and rolled her eyes. “Can we just call it a Cutie Mark curse?”

Pinkie jolted up. “Say that again,” she said quickly.

“Cutie Mark curse?” Pepper asked, watching Pinkie as she started to pace.

“Hmm,” Pinkie mumbled. She almost bumped into the coffee table, then turned around. “I’ve heard something like that somewhere before,” she added. “Cutie Mark curse... you get a Cutie Mark that’s not yours...” She paused to turn around again. “You have to do something with it... and it won’t go away.”

“Sounds about right,” said Pepper. She did a quick count in her head, then frowned. “Don’t forget that somepony gives it to somepony else.”

Pinkie stopped in her tracks and smiled. “You mean it’s contagious? Like a cold?”

“Sorta,” Pepper mumbled. “I mean I guess you could say that.”

Suddenly Pinkie started bouncing in place. “I know what it is! I know what it is!” she whispered as excitedly as she could without getting any louder.

Peppermint sat up immediately. “What, you do?! How?”

“Well it’s not exactly the same,” Pinkie explained, “but it sounds a lot like this thing somepony had a while ago back in Ponyville.”

“And what was it?” Pepper asked, tensing from the suspense.

“What’d Twilight call it? Uhh... I think it was the Cutie Pox, but I’m not sure...”

Pepper rolled back over and stared at the ceiling. A smile slowly formed across her face. “Cutie Pox, eh?” she asked. “And if we know what it is, that means there’s gotta be— No, no, I wanna hear you say it. I don’t wanna jinx myself.”

“Gotta be what?” asked Pinkie.

“Does that pony you knew still have the Cutie Pox?”

“Nope! Zecora whipped a cure lickety-split, and she was all better the next day!”

Pepper hopped out of bed and leaned right up to Pinkie’s face. “Who’s Zecora and how can we meet?!”

Pinkie giggled softly. “Zecora’s this zebra that lives a little outside of town. She’s good with potions and stuff. For a while there everypony thought she was evil, but she’s just a little strange, so don’t worry. I—”

“Pinkie, focus,” said Peppermint. “I need that cure. Whatever it takes, I need that cure.”

“Oh, right!” said Pinkie, smacking her own forehead. “Well I’m sure she’d be happy to help—” She got cut off as Peppermint finally managed to return that super-tight hug from after the party in full.

Pepper let go after a few seconds, leaving Pinkie gasping for air. Pepper hardly noticed. She was too busy dreaming of a world without balloons in her head. “I-I don’t know what to say...” she muttered in a happy haze. She collapsed back onto the sofa and sighed with relief. “Thank you Pinkie. I owe you big time.”

Pinkie frowned. “We can’t leave town though, right?”

“What do you mean?!” Pepper gasped.

“You know, the whole ‘on-the-run’ thing?”

Pepper pouted against the sofa cushions. “We could always just skip town.”

“Nope!” Pinkie insisted. “We have to prove we’re innocent, remember?”

“How are we even gonna do that?” Pepper asked.

Pinkie frowned and sank back to the floor. “I kinda hoped you had an idea...”

Peppermint sighed and sat back up. “Well, I...” she began. “I’m not sure.” She looked up toward the ceiling and started to mumble to herself. “Maybe that pony on the rooftops... He was pretty suspicious-looking. And he came from— yeah, yeah, that makes sense.”

“How do we find him or her again?” asked Pinkie.

Pepper shook her head. “Well obviously it won’t be easy. If they did take something, they’re probably either hiding somewhere—” She gulped. “Or they’re long gone by now.”

Pinkie managed to force a smile. “W-well let’s stay positive,” she stammered. “Like, what if they didn’t leave? I bet we’ll find ‘em tomorrow, even! A-and if we don’t, they probably didn’t steal anything that valuable. Probably just a few doilies!” She snickered. “Doilies...”

Pepper couldn’t help but giggle herself. “Okay, okay, you have a point. Worrying won’t fix this.” For a moment, she sat and stared upward again. “Alright, I think I have a gameplan for us.”

Pinkie sat at attention and said, “Lay it on me, coach.”

“Well first thing’s first,” said Pepper, “let’s assume we’ll get out of this. And let’s assume we can leave Coltport by tomorrow. That makes our first stop the post office.”

“Want me to write Zecora?”

“Good, we’re on the same page. Yes please, Pinkie,” Pepper continued. “And leave the return address to my place— you know what, I’ll write that part. Don’t worry about memorizing anything but the plan.” Pinkie nodded, letting Pepper continue. “After that, we’ll check out the harbor. Lots of shady ponies show up there every now and then. I’m sure we can find some kinda lead.”

“Is it safe?” Pinkie asked, biting her lip.

“Oh yeah,” Pepper reassured her. “Shady, not dangerous. At least as far as I’ve heard. But anyway, after that— okay, I’m not exactly sure where to go from there. We can’t go anywhere near the Manor or we could get caught, so we’re kind of stuck in the dark for some of the details.”

“Like what was stolen?”

“Exactly.” Peppermint slumped over and mumbled, “And so much for that cart idea...”

“What cart idea?”

Peppermint jolted back up and repeated, “What cart idea?” Pinkie just stared at her sideways for a minute. Pepper sighed. “Okay, I uhh, I sorta left the cart I took the supplies in at the Manor.”

“How come?”

Pepper averted her eyes and muttered, “So I had an excuse to see the mansion up close again.” Pinkie just stared on. “What?! It’s beautiful and you know it!”

“That might seem kinda suspicious to the guards...”

“I realize this now,” Pepper explained. “I never expected them to accuse us of something when I left it.” She stopped and shook her head. “Look, this isn’t important. We can’t change the past. All we can do is try to find proof that we’re innocent, and hope they’ll accept it.”

After a moment of thought, Pinkie nodded. “Gotcha. Tomorrow, we investigate!” Pinkie bounced up and started sniffing the ground. It took Pepper a moment, but she realized it was meant to be an impression of a bloodhound. Although the barking probably gave it away.

“Shh! Shh!” Pepper insisted between giggles. “You think you can sleep now? Probably best that we at least try.”

The two heard a creak from one of the floorboards above them. Both dove under their respective blankets in a panic. “So we don’t wake up Sunny?” Pinkie asked at a low whisper.

Pepper just nodded. “Goodnight,” she whispered as she buried her face in a pillow.

“G’night, Pepper,” said Pinkie. “Sleep tight! Don’t let the bedbugs—” Another creak silenced her before she could finish the old rhyme.

Several hours of sleep did the two of them good. Even better, the next day proved to be one of those perfectly clear and sunny days in Coltport. It made for perfect weather to keep them energized for the work ahead. After a bit of breakfast at Sunny’s place, Pinkie and Pepper set out for the nearest post office: one situated right on the water.

“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie yelled. She bounced along, peering over the heads of the other ponies in the crowd. “Is that the water? I think I see the water, right over there. The sea, Peppermint! The ocean!”

Pepper hung her head and groaned. “That’s very nice, Pinkie,” she said. “It probably is the ocean. You know, because we’re at the harbor.”

Pinkie frowned and nudged Peppermint. “Are you sure you got enough sleep, Ms. Grumpypants?”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Pepper. She raised her head back up. “Sorry, I’m just a little uneasy being out after yesterday.” Suddenly she stopped walking and groaned. “Uhh, hang on—” One more step and her back cracked so loud that it startle a few ponies nearby. Pepper smiled and sighed. “Oh yeah, that’s better...”

Pinkie giggled. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Tonight you’ll get to sleep in a nice, warm bed. Remember?”

“And that won’t come without us working for it, remember?” Pepper countered. “Look, the post office is just over there. Might as well get something done to start us off, right?”

Pinkie nodded, then skipped off before Peppermint. Pepper followed slowly, mindful of her back.

When Pinkie arrived at the post office, she was greeted by a clerk at a booth of some sort. “Good morning,” said the clerk. “Are you picking up or dropping off?”

“Umm,” Pinkie hesitated. “Dropping off I guess?” She retrieved the envelope from a saddlebag and passed it through the slot under the glass. The clerk took the envelope, checked for a stamp, then slid it through another slot in the back. “Pardon me for asking, but what’s with this post office?” Pinkie asked.

The clerk shook her head. “Too many letters getting stolen from the mailboxes around here,” she explained. “Not that I’m complaining. I get a job out of the deal.”

“Oh,” said Pinkie. “Well uhh, congratulations I guess!”

“Thank you, thank you,” said the clerk. “Now hurry along, ma’am. There’s more mail to get today.”

Pinkie looked back at the small line behind her and smiled apologetically. It was short-lived; Peppermint promptly pushed her out of the way. “You heard her,” Pepper said. “Hurry along.”

“Wow, I didn’t know so many ponies were thieves around here,” Pinkie muttered.

Pepper shrugged. “Around the harbor, there’s a bit of a problem with that. That’s why we went to the post office first.”

Pinkie smirked. “Clever, clever...”

“But now, unfortunately, that doesn’t leave us with anything to work with,” said Peppermint. She pulled the two of them over to the side of the post office building and sat down against the wall. “Think, Pepper, think!” she mumbled, squeezing her head between her forehooves.

Pinkie sat down next to Peppermint and tilted her head. “Well what do we need first?”

“I don’t know!” Pepper exclaimed.

“Calm down, calm down,” Pinkie insisted. “We need to prove we didn’t steal... whatever it was. How do we do that?”

Pepper took a deep breath. “Hmm,” she mumbled. “Well we can’t just say we didn’t do it. They wouldn’t believe that.”

“Why not?” Pinkie asked. “We’re trustworthy, right?”

Pepper shook her head. “No, no, that's not enough. We need proof.” Her eyes lit up as it started to click. “We need evidence!” she added.

“But how can we get evidence of something that didn’t happen?” Pinkie asked, frowning.

“Hmm.” Pepper put her hoof to her chin and thought some more. “But something did happen. We just weren’t involved.”

“Somepony else was, right? The real thief?”

“What if we figure out what really did happen?” Pepper offered. “You know, track down whoever really did it?”

“Like that pony from the rooftops?” Pinkie asked, doing her best impression of the mysterious acrobat’s slinking gait.

Pepper grinned in excitement. “Yes! Of course!” she exclaimed. “Pinkie that’s perfect!”

Pinkie returned an uneasy smile. “It is?”

“Pinkie, it’s a lead!” Pepper explained. “We know what the thief probably looks like, or at least how he looks like when he’s stealing something.”

“Or she,” Pinkie corrected. Peppermint continued regardless.

“And then the harbor’s full of shady ponies... but that just means the thief is probably somewhere around here.” Peppermint smirked. “Once we pin down who did it, we can turn them over to the guards and clear our names.”

“Then we get to go home, right?”

“Of course,” Pepper answered. She took a dramatic step towards the docks and added, “Now all we have to do is check everypony to see if they did it!”

Pinkie jumped in front of her and held her hooves up. “Wait! We can’t just accuse everypony.”

Pepper frowned. “Right, right. That’ll take way too long.” She sighed. “Wanna just walk around and see what we can figure out?”

“Sure,” said Pinkie. “You know what? I bet we’ll find ‘em in no time!”

Pepper muttered, “I wish I could say the same.” Still, the two walked off into the docks and shipyards. Most of everypony awake that morning in Coltport was there, or so Pepper figured. She considered it at least a small sign of good luck that they didn’t get separated within the first two minutes of the chaos.

Several hours later, Peppermint and Pinkie Pie found themselves no less lost and no closer to anypony interesting. In fact they were stranded, in a way. The two had stumbled across the middle of the docks, and there was nearly no room whatsoever for their hooves. Pinkie actually found a barrel to stand on top of in lieu of expecting somepony else to get out of their way. Peppermint could only manage to squeeze up against it.

“This is starting to seem like a bad idea!” Pepper called over the dull roar of the crowd.

Pinkie balanced precariously on the barrel. “I-I don’t know, maybe we’re just in the wrong part of town...”

Pepper glanced around. Barely any light got around here, with all the buildings in the way. The air smelled less of refreshing sea water and more of raw must and mold. Even the streets seemed to have a perpetual air of dampness about them.

“No, we’re in the right place,” said Pepper. “Unfortunately...”

“Hey!” a gruff voice shouted. “Get down from there!”

Pepper looked around the crowd, finally finding the source of the voice coming from one of the docks. Her eyes widened at the sight of the stallion. He easily towered over everypony else in the crowd, and had the scowling expression to match. Pepper tried to let Pinkie know, but all she could manage was a whimper.

The stallion tapped Pinkie on the shoulder. “Who is it?” she asked playfully.

“You!” he shouted in her face. “What’re ya doin’ with my barrel, eh?”

Pinkie promptly collapsed off the side and cowered to the ground. “I, umm, I...” she whimpered.

“Don’t you ever take somethin’ o’ mine again!” he yelled. “Ya hear me?” Pinkie only managed to nod in response. “Good,” he said as he rolled the barrel away. As soon as he was out of sight, Pinkie grabbed onto Peppermint for dear life.

“Yeah, shady part of town,” said Peppermint, shaking wildly along with Pinkie. “Shady and rough. Sometimes.”

“I-I thought you said it’d be safe!” Pinkie cried.

“I just heard stories, remember?” Peppermint explained.

“I’m scared,” Pinkie said. “I’m scared, and hungry, and the street feels all slimy, and—”

“Wait— did you see that?”

“See what?” Pinkie asked.

Pepper stopped shaking and squinted through the crowd. It was a weird sight, and she wanted to be sure it was real. “I think I— there!” she said. Leaving Pinkie behind, Pepper pushed through the crowd towards the edge of the nearest dock. Pinkie yelped, then followed.

Across the water, at the westernmost dock in Coltport, floated a large, old-style ship. The siding was made of wood planks, the front was adorned with a carving of some beautiful mare, and there was even a crow’s nest on the main mast. None of this is what caught Peppermint’s eye though.

“What do they call those,” Pepper mumbled to herself. “Jolly Roger?”

“Roger doesn’t look so ‘Jolly’,” Pinkie chimed in. “That’s how I always remembered it.”

“We’re talking about the skull and crossbones flag, right?”

“Of course!” said Pinkie Pie. “That means they’re pirates, right?”

Pepper raised an eyebrow. “I suppose so—”

“Ahem,” Pinkie interrupted. She winked at Peppermint and said, “Say it right!”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Aye, thar be a pirate ship,” she groaned.

Pinkie giggled. “I bet that’s why this place is so nasty. Everypony’s a pirate!”

“Uhh, actually Pinkie,” Pepper insisted, “I’ve never seen or heard of any pirates in Coltport. Not for like a few hundred years.”

“But they’re right there!” said Pinkie.

Pepper shook her head. “Just because there’s a ship with a flag like that doesn’t mean—”

“No no no,” Pinkie exclaimed. “I mean I see them! The pirates!” She bounced and pointed over Pepper’s shoulder.

“Wha—” Pepper looked where Pinkie was pointing and her jaw dropped. “P-pirates?! But how?”

Pepper watched the crew as they passed barrels from one pony to the next. It was as if they were in perfect harmony, working as one to get something off of their ship. Somepony in a large hat, presumably the captain, stood on the side with his chest held high. It was hard to see at this distance, but Pepper thought she saw that he had a peg-leg and an eyepatch.

More intriguing, however, were a pair of newcomers. At first they just looked like ponies in hooded overcoats, but then they let their hoods down. They were wearing the same striped caps that some of the crew members wore. It wasn’t until they turned to the side that Peppermint made the connection.

“Pinkie! Look!” she gasped.

“Wait, are those— Is he— Are they—”

Peppermint ducked down to the dock. “Get down!” she whispered. “What if they see us?!”

Pinkie shrugged, but followed regardless. “Well we saw them first...”

“Focus, Pinkie,” Peppermint continued. “I think one of the pirates was the thief!”

“Just because they’re pirates? I mean I guess that’d make sense, but—”

“No, those cloaks they were wearing! I remember how that pony on the rooftops looked. It was just like that, I swear.”

Pinkie gasped loudly. “S-so we gotta prove the pirates did it?”

“At least that makes the motive easy,” Pepper mumbled. “The problem now is, well, the hard evidence. The only real evidence we can get without going back to the mansion and getting caught ourselves.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, uhh,” said Pepper, “I’m not quite sure what exactly we’ll be looking for, but I know how to find it. It’s whatever they took.”

“We still don’t know what they stole, so how can we find it?”

“Simple,” said Pepper. She stood up and glanced over warily at the pirate ship. “We have to find where they be hidin’ thar booty.”

“Can I talk like a pirate too?” Pinkie asked eagerly.

Peppermint snickered. By now she couldn’t resist: “Aye!”

“Yay!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I-I mean ‘Arrrgh!’”

The way those two were giggling afterwards made them seem like either the craziest or the bravest ponies in the whole harbor. At least it finally gave them a way to clear the path as they walked.

“I don’t know, Pinkie,” said Peppermint. “It seems just a little too convenient. I’m not sure I like it.”

Pinkie groaned. “I’m sorry, but can you just be happy for once? We’re getting somewhere. This is good. Goood!”

Peppermint just rolled her eyes. “Shh! We don’t wanna draw too much attention to ourselves, remember?”

The two tipped their hats over their eyes and leaned against the wall while the pirate passed. He stopped and looked at the two. “Sup?” Pepper asked in a false deep voice. He seemed to stop wondering about the two after that. Once he was out of sight, Pepper and Pinkie relaxed again.

Pinkie tipped her hat and continued to sit against the wall. “I still think we could’ve gone for the mustaches, too.”

“Hey, that guy drove a hard bargain,” said Pepper. “I’m just glad he gave us two of anything.”

“Shh! Shh!” Pinkie whispered. “One’s coming over here!”

The two tipped their hats over their eyes and leaned against the wall while the pirate passed. He stopped and looked at the two, to which Pepper responded with a simple “Sup?”. He seemed to stop wondering about the two after that. Once he was out of sight, Pepper and Pinkie relaxed again.

“‘ey! Get that barrel ‘fore she rolls into th’ sea, dog!” shouted the captain. The crew member who passed the two jumped to attention and took a barrel off the edge of the dock to roll back over.

“Right away, Cap’n!” he answered.

Another crew member carefully walked up to the captain. “Umm, sir?” he asked.

“What?” the captain snapped.

“The uhh, we’ve got a little problem,” the crew member whimpered.

The captian stomped his hoof and turned to face him. “Well you’d better be havin’ a good reason t’ be interruptin’ such an already ‘perfect’ landin’ party, matey!”

“There’s a leak in the hull, sir.”

The captain groaned. “Aye, so that was a rock we brushed up ‘gainst on the way in. How bad is it?”

The ship creaked and listed to the side a few feet, dropping the makeshift ramp plank into the water.

“We’ll be here for a few more days, sir.”

The captain rolled his eyes. “Arrgh, of course we will...”

The crew member shifted his eyes uneasily. “Should we move her, sir?”

“Aye, it’s for the best. Try to get her over to that cove we spotted comin’ in. Probably better for a little unloadin’ anyway.”

“Aye aye, captain,” the crew member said with a salute.

“Oh, and Mister Starboard,” the captain began, “try to make sure the cove is clear this time before we store the load. You’ll be rememberin’ the last time ye forgot.”

Starboard shook in his hooves. “W-won’t happen again, cap’n. I promise!”

“For your sake I hope you’re a colt o’ your word!” The captain yelled. “Now get outta here!”

“Aye aye!” He quickly hopped across the gap to the ship’s railing and hoisted himself up. “Get that patch under way!” he shouted down the far side of the vessel. “Captain’s waiting for us to move ‘er!”

There was a resounding chorus of “Aye aye!” from the same side, followed by a small lurch of the ship.

Peppermint smirked. “While I’m getting seasick just looking at them,” she muttered, “I wanna thank them for telling us so much.”

“Was that a joke?” Pinkie asked. “Or should I start planning a pirate party?”

“A joke, Pinkie,” Pepper explained. She shuddered and her eyes shot wide open. “We better do this fast, or I’m gonna need to find a nice, dark alley I don’t mind squeezing into.”

Pinkie shyed away slightly. “Was that the itch?” she asked.

“Sorta,” Pepper whispered. “It was just a little bit, nothing to worry about.”

“If you say so,” Pinkie mumbled. “Hey, what was ‘this’ that we better do fast, anyway?”

“What else?” said Peppermint. “Get into wherever the pirates have that whatever-they-stole, and take it back.”

Pinkie shook her head. “Did I hear that right? Or is my hat on too tight?”

“How else do we get the proof, Pinkie?”

“Get some help? Maybe from somepony bigger than us? Bigger than the big scary pirates?”

Peppermint scoffed. “Please, Pinkie. That guy at the docks was one thing, but this? We’re smarter than they are. Just look at them!” Conveniently enough, one of the crew had caught his leg in the mooring and was left to dangle while the others just watched. “Trust me,” Pepper continued at a whisper, “we’ll be in and out without them knowing what hit them.”

“And how do we do that without knowing what we’re looking for?” Pinkie asked again.

“Uhh,” Pepper stammered. “W-We ask them?” She stopped and smiled. “Yeah, I think I know how we can do that, too.”

“Please share,” said Pinkie. Her face looked more and more worried by the second. “I don’t wanna do something this crazy without a plan first.”

“Alright, alright,” said Peppermint. “I’ll tell you on the way to the cove, deal?”

Pinkie held back and shifted her eyes, then sighed. “Deal,” she muttered in defeat. Peppermint smiled, then trotted off back towards the rest of the city. Pinkie walked after slowly. “I’m keepin’ my eye on you, ‘loony.”

Pepper stopped in her tracks. “Did you just—”

Pinkie giggled. “Hey, jokes help me stay smilin’,” she explained. “Maybe you should try it sometime, instead of getting all in a huff.”

Peppermint glared at Pinkie, despite only proving rather silly point.