Faux Mark: The Purple Balloon

Faux Mark

The Purple Balloon

Chapter 7: Moondance

Just outside of Moondance Cove, two of the pirates paced along the waterside path. Well, just about waterside. There was still a good ten foot sheer drop of a cliff on the ocean side of the path. At least it wasn’t too narrow of a walkway. The other side just had a few bushes running along.

One of the pirates sat down and yawned. “Why’s it always us, eh?” he asked.

The other sat down next to him. The two of them just about blocked off the path. “Because we ain’t done nothin’ wrong, that’s why.”

“Oh come on, Sail, don’t be like that.”

“Shut up, Tail Wind,” Sail snapped. “I wasn’t bein’ cute. I’m serious, we ain’t done nothin’ wrong. Nothin’ bad enough. Nothin’ to make the cap’n impressed.”

Tail Wind sighed and stared at the rocky ground. He kicked a pebble off the edge just to wait for the splash. “What can we do though?” he asked. “It’s not like he ever gives us a chance to prove ourselves.”

“Oh, quit belly-achin’!” Sail yelled, slapping Tail Wind’s shoulder. “If we wanna get anywhere in this crew, we gotta make our own luck, got it?”

Tail hopped to his hooves and smiled with confidence. “You’re right, Sail. We gotta... go do our own pirate stuff! I’m sure we can do it!”

“Ugh,” Sail groaned. He lay down and held a hoof to his forehead. “Sure, kid. Whatever you say.”

Tail Wind smiled. “Oh! Oh! Maybe we can plunder something from somepony in town! Like uhh... a purse. Or a wallet! Yeah, wallet. Don’t wanna start too big...”

“How are you even a blasted pirate anyway?”

“I’m not exactly sure,” said Tail. “I guess the captain just really needed somepony who can work a sail.”

“And the rest of us couldn’t have figured it out?!” Sail yelled out in exasperation.

“Face it,” Tail Wind mocked, “you need me.”

“Arrrgh...” Sail groaned. “Why am I on this crew?”

— — —

While the two continued to talk amongst themselves, they hadn’t the slightest notion that they were being watched. Pinkie and Peppermint were already well underway with step one of the plan. They had spent the last half hour slowly working around the path without ever setting hoof on it by sneaking through the bushes. But now they were stuck; the bushes ended before actually reaching the cove, and these two guard pirates weren’t going anywhere any time soon.

“Ugh,” Pepper groaned. “Move it, you two.”

Pinkie shushed her. “Careful!” she whispered.

“Sorry, sorry,” Pepper sighed. “There’s gotta be a way around them. I mean we got this far already.”

Pinkie peered over the top of the bush. Just over the edge of the pathway, she saw a wave crash spectacularly on a rock jutting out of the water. The spray managed to catch the attention of the pirates too, if only for a second.

Peppermint pulled Pinkie back down. “What happened to careful?” she snapped.

“But it’s so pretty,” Pinkie whined. “Even they thought so.”

“Really?” Pepper asked. She poked her head through the bushes and saw the two facing the ocean still.

This time Pinkie pulled Pepper back. “Well?” Pinkie asked.

“I think that might be enough of a distraction, actually,” said Peppermint. She slinked her way over to the side of the bushes. Oh-so-carefully, she tried to take one step out from the hiding place...

Sail’s head jolted up. “What was that?” he asked.

Pepper pulled her hoof back so fast it gave left some of the gravel on the path spinning. “Well there goes that theory,” she mumbled. “Got any better ideas for a distraction?”

Pinkie sat and furrowed her brow. “We need ‘em to look the other way, right?”

“Probably,” said Peppermint. “At least for a little while.”

“Got any magical whatsits that’d help?” Pinkie asked, poking Pepper’s horn.

Pepper blushed. “I, uhh,” she stammered, “s-sorta only know balloon spells...” A shiver punctuated the notion. But a weird look struck her eyes, and she smirked. “Actually, that might just work,” she said. “I mean, it’s like putting air into stuff, right?”

“Mhmm...” Pinkie muttered, nodding along.

“Look, just follow my lead,” Pepper insisted.

— — —

After a few minutes of awkward silence between the two, given Sail refusing to believe he was seeing things, Tail Wind decided to start a little game.

“I spy with my little eye...”

Sail groaned. “We really are bored now, aren’t we?”

“Something blue!” Tail finished.

Sail stared in utter disbelief. “You mean the sea? The big blue? Are you really that simple?!”

“Wow, you’re good at this!” Tail Wind proclaimed. “Go on, Sail, your turn to spy something.”

“Absolutely not,” Sail growled.

“Aw, come on! You know you want to!”

“I know I don’t want to,” Sail insisted. “Because I’m not a little filly!”

Tail Wind shook his head. “‘I Spy’ isn’t just for little fillies, Sail. It’s a wonderful game for ponies of all ages.”

“You're apparently missin’ that I’m callin’ you a little— Hold on, look at the water.”

The two glanced down at the water lapping gently against the cliff below. The water seemed to pulsate, like the waves were coming from the spot beneath them rather than the middle of the sea. It was subtle, however. Something easily passable as a trick of the eye.

“Uhh, nevermind,” said Sail. “I thought I saw a fish ‘r somethin’.”

“You should eat more fruit, Sail,” Tail insisted. “Scurvy can do some nasty things to your mi—”

“I’m not crazy!” Sail yelled.

— — —

Meanwhile, back in the bush, Peppermint was in the middle of smacking her own head a few times. Pinkie was just a little concerned.

“Hey, no need to hurt yourself,” Pinkie whispered.

Peppermint stopped hitting herself and stood back on all fours. “Sorry, I just needed that to focus,” she explained. “Not more water, air in water...”

Pinkie raised her eyebrow. “You can put water in things too?”

“And helium,” Pepper whispered. “Anything you’d put in a balloon for a party, typically. Remember back at the party? Did you see a hose at all through the water balloon fight?”

“Well no, but— I guess that makes sense...”

Pepper smiled. “Now shush! I need to concentrate.”

— — —

The two pirates stood up and looked at each other. Tail smiled brightly, yet Sail growled and bared his teeth.

“I know there’s no dolphins ‘round here! That’s not what I be spyin’!”

“Okay, okay!” Tail insisted. “I’m just saying, it’s not fair for me if you pick something that’s not really there.”

“I ain’t seein’ things, ya bilge rat!” Sail screamed.

“Now there’s no need for name-calling.”

Even over the sound of Sail’s anger and the crashing waves of the sea, an odd sound caught both of their attentions. They looked down at the same spot of water, but this time the sight was more obvious. Bubbles, thousands of them, all popping up to the surface.

“You see ‘at too, right Tail Wind?” Sail asked, suddenly lowering his voice to a civil volume.

Tail just nodded slowly. “W-what do you think it is?”

“Some kinda geyser?” Sail offered. “Or maybe there’s somepony down there...”

Now they were entranced. Both stood at the edge of the path, peering as close as they could without tipping over. Even better, the sound of the bubbles was picking up. It was just enough that Sail completely missed the sound of shifting gravel, and the sound of somepony rearing up to buck.

Neither pirate could’ve missed the thud of the hit, or Sail’s screams of “Whoa!!”, or the heavy splash as he hit the water. Tail Wind spun around and saw some strange pink Earth Pony smiling and peering over at Sail.

“Go on in, the water’s fine!” she yelled.

“W-what’s going on?!” Tail Wind shouted. Suddenly something shoved him to the ground from behind. He spun around in the gravel and saw his unicorn assailant standing over him with a malicious smirk. She stopped his mouth with a hoof before he could say one more word.

“Stow it, sailor,” said Peppermint. “You’re not gonna scream. You’re gonna go back to town, and you’re gonna get the guards down here. Understand?”

Tail nodded frantically. Pepper slowly lifted her hoof off of his mouth. “W-whatever you want,” he said. “I mean— Aye aye!”

“Good,” said Peppermint. “Oh, one more thing—”

“Yes, whatever you want. Just don’t hurt me!”

Peppermint rolled her eyes. “Just tell us where the captain’s storing all the ‘booty’.”

“Big pile, far side of the cove,” Tail blurted out. Sail shouted something from the water, but it was unintelligible against the crashing waves against the rocks.

Peppermint smiled and hopped off of Tail Wind. “Thank you very much, sir.”

“Anytime?” he said. “Should I—”

“Go? Yes.”

Tail Wind hopped up to his hooves, saluted Peppermint, and galloped off furiously up the path. Pinkie watched him and snickered.

“He was silly,” she said. She glanced over the edge at Sail and shouted, “Sorry about this!”

“He can swim, he’ll be fine,” Pepper reassured. “Now come on. Assuming nopony heard any of that, we’ve only got a few minutes to get in and out of the cave before the guards come and arrest the crew.”

Pinkie didn’t need to be told twice.

The two made their way through the path into the cove very carefully. One wrong step sent a bunch of loose gravel crumbling down out of control, so it wasn’t exactly ideal for the stealthy entrance Peppermint was hoping for. Fortunately, they soon found it was a lot less crumbly to walk off the regular path.

Peppermint led Pinkie Pie along the inner edge of the cove, giving them the best view possible; they could see the pirates’ ship docked just around a large bend in the cove. This "path" was rather dark and damp, not unlike the harbor, but it was a bit more bearable without the mobs of other ponies.

“Watch your step,” Pepper advised. They came to a small gap in the rock, leading to a twenty foot drop over much sharper rocks. Pepper paused to take a breath, then leapt for it. She landed it, yet her back hoof slipped on a smaller rock. For a second Pepper thought her heart stopped when her leg gave way. “Really, really be careful with that.”

“Uhh, I need a little more landing room,” said Pinkie. It was a little bit of an understatement, given how Peppermint was still hogging up the nearest flat patch on the other side.

“Sorry, sorry!” said Pepper. She slowly inched her way further along the path, just far enough to see around a large stone in the middle. “Oh my gosh...” she muttered.

A pile of bit coins— no, a mountain of bit coins lay in a large, wide alcove. What little light was getting into the cove shone gloriously against the gold, lighting up the cove like a fire. Peppermint couldn’t believe her eyes. Especially not when still more barrels of money were being unloaded as she stood there.

“Ahh, they don’t make money like they used ter,” echoed the unforgettable voice of the captain. The rest of the crew joined in a hearty chuckle.

“Well now we know where to look...” Pepper mumbled. She felt Pinkie prod her side, then continued walking.

— — —

The path around the edge was long and tricky. A few more times Pepper thought their cover was blown when one or both of them had the rock give way underneath their hooves, but the pirates seemed too distracted by the glory of their treasure.

It was distracting for Peppermint too. When they finally reached the ledge of rock behind the gold mountain, Peppermint could only stop and stare in awe. “How does somepony get all that money?” she whispered.

Pinkie scowled. “Stealing, of course.”

“That’s gotta be like ten times what Simple was gonna pay me,” Pepper continued. “No, more! Somepony could buy the Manor with all of that!” She slowly stepped forward towards the mound, and Pinkie followed.

“Pepper, it’s stolen. It doesn’t belong to them.”

“Pinkie,” said Pepper, “did it ever occur to you that they might’ve stolen money?” She reached a hoof out to within an inch of the gold and trembled. “I mean, either way... what if we just paid Simple back for whatever was stolen?”

“No!” Pinkie gasped. “Pepper, we can’t! It’s not our money! Well it’s not the pirates money either, but still—”

Peppermint glanced around the pile to check if anypony was watching, then carefully took a single coin off the top of the pile. “But if they stole it from Simple, we’re just giving it back, right?”

Pinkie snatched the coin away from her. “It’s not right! What if they didn’t? Then we really are thieves!”

Peppermint took the coin away with magic and held it out of Pinkie’s reach. “But we’ll be helping the ponies who lost something.”

Pinkie Pie bounced up and grabbed the coin, then spat it back out to the pile. “Peppermint, I can’t believe you! It’s wrong, and you know it!”

Peppermint backed away from Pinkie and smiled weakly. “I-It’s just an idea. I mean, we don’t have t—”

“You sure sound like you want to...”

“No, I don’t, I swear! Pinkie, please, I-I’m sorry, I—” Pepper paused when her hoof fell on something other than rock. “Uh-oh.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened. “What?”

Suddenly the coins gave way. Pepper slipped backward and yelled, “Grab me! Grab me! Help!!” Pinkie tried to save her, but all she managed to do was get pulled down. The two slid down in a spectacular shower of gold coins and ponies. The pirates below scattered out of the way just in time for the two to skid to a halt at the end of the mound.

Coins were still spinning to a stop as the pirates recovered. Peppermint and Pinkie Pie groaned and stood to their hooves. Pinkie gasped and backed up close to Peppermint. Pepper only shook in place. Slowly, the pirates converged on the two in a circle. Eight pirates, each one snarling mad and about half of them armed with a rusty, but sharp-looking scimitar.

Pinkie Pie began to sweat and quiver. “Whadowedo, whatdowedo?!” she exclaimed.

Peppermint found herself tongue-tied. Her legs wouldn’t work either. All she could do was think, and worry, and fear. Her life began to flash before her eyes. She remembered the first time she lost a tooth to a chewy sandwich. Then came when she met Tulip in the second grade. And of course, that night with Windy Rivers...

Ms. Rivers never got caught, she thought. She never lost. How did she do it?

The pirates took another unified step inward.

What was different about her? What made her special?

“Help!!” Pinkie screamed.

A shudder passed through Peppermint. She blinked her eyes, and there it was: that wide-eyed, wild look she would never forget. Pepper could see it reflected in the nearest pirate’s sword. And she remembered the last time this happened.

“This is stupid, this is— Now!”

“Pinkie, I can get us out of here,” Pepper said plainly. “Just follow me.”

“Wha—”

Peppermint glared at the nearest pirate and focused. Her horn glowed, and Pinkie finally caught on. Suddenly the pirate swelled up, then shrank back down to size, knocking aside the two of his mates on either side. Pepper hopped forward through the opening in the circle. “Pinkie! Grab his sword!”

Pinkie hesitated, but when the other pirates charged, she jumped. Peppermint hopped up onto a rock past Pinkie and glared out at the other pirates. Two with swords charged at Pinkie while the others watched Peppermint.

Pinkie ducked down to pick up the sword just in time to duck the first swipe. “Gah!” she yelped. Before the pirate could pull the blade back, Pinkie bucked in a panic. As he jumped away to dodge, he dropped his sword.

“Arrrgh, they’re just a couple o’ girls!” he yelled. “What’re you all waitin’ for?!”

Peppermint jumped down off the rock and grabbed the loose sword with magic. “Pinkie, go make sure the guards are coming. I’ll hold ‘em off.”

“I can’t just leave you here with all of them!”

The other sword-bearing pirates lunged forward. Pinkie and Pepper managed to block the blades just in time. “I think I can handle—”

“Look out!” Pinkie shouted. Another pirate lunged for Peppermint from the side.

Pepper gasped. She grabbed her sword with her mouth, then turned her magic on the new attacker; he tripped over his swollen belly just seconds before reaching Pepper, then bounced off of her harmlessly.

“Okay, okay,” Pepper panted. “You can help.” The pirates drew their swords back and started to circle Pepper and Pinkie. They stood back to back, their own swords ready. “I’m gonna need it...”

“This is crazy,” Pinkie whispered. “You know that, right?”

“Crazy would be sitting down and letting the pirates capture us,” said Peppermint with a weak smile. “This is just a fancy way of making a run for it.”

Suddenly the pirates lunged again, leaving the girls barely enough to time to block. “Split up and run!” Pepper shouted. She jumped off to the side and ducked between two of the pirates’ hooves. In the confusion, Pinkie managed to slip out the other way, towards the pile of gold.

Three of the pirates trapped Pinkie in against the gold. She tried to fake one way and ran for the other, but there was no way to go but up the slippery slope. The armed pirate closed in slowly, growling and seething past the sword in his mouth. Pinkie looked from one pirate to the next, then smiled. She took a step forward, and all three lunged at once. Pinkie, however, gracefully bounced up in the air just as the three collided in the middle. She landed on their backs and giggled. For good measure, she kicked loose a little of the gold, partially burying the three as a good few hundred coins slid down, then stuck her tongue out at the unfortunate colts.

Peppermint drew the other swordspony away towards the water. He was quick, taking jabs at her every step she took. Once she almost dropped her sword when her hoof touched water, but it was just in the shallows. Come on, come on, she thought, focusing intently on his belly. Nothing came of the magic more than a few sparks off her horn, however.

“Look like you’re all used up, witch,” the pirate taunted.

Pepper’s glared intensified. “You did not—” She swung hard overhead, which he barely held back. “Just call me—” She swung again, this time from underneath. The pirate once again barely stopped the blade from nicking him. “A witch!!” As dramatic as the buildup was, her third blow was the weakest of the three, something the pirate easily pushed back onto Peppermint.

“You best be controllin’ that temper o’ yers, lass,” he growled. “Nopony likes a feisty wench.”

She tried desperately once more to use her magic, but nothing. Nothing except the strained groaning from the pirate she had forgotten about. The one still swollen. “Oh, duh,” she said.

“Pardon?” asked the pirate.

The earlier victim immediately shrank down to normal size, leaving him dazed and blurry-eyed. Pepper pushed her opponent back, then tried again. This time he swelled off of his hooves in seconds, just as planned. Pepper hovered her sword out of her mouth and said, “Only one at a time, sorry.”

“What is this?!” the pirate exclaimed.

“No idea,” said Pepper. She reared back and punted him away towards the sea, draining the air from him before he landed.

Pinkie skipped over to Peppermint, then they both looked over the alcove at the fallen pirates. Each one lay groaning or trying to from underneath a pile. Peppermint stared in disbelief.

“H-How’d we do that? I mean— pirates, Pinkie! We took on a whole crew of pirates!”

“Not the whole crew!!” A gruff voice interrupted. The pirate captain hopped off of a rowboat and stomped towards Pinkie and Peppermint. “You’ll be payin’ for all o’ that, lassies.”

Pepper smirked. “Oh yeah? It’s two against one. I think you’re a little outmatched.” Pinkie, however, bit her lip and quivered at the captain's presence.

The captain whipped his head back. His fancy hat slid back, revealing a unicorn horn. “Captain Redbuck. That’s what they call me.” Two loose swords slid over to him, one narrowly avoiding Pinkie’s hooves, and hovered in front of him with a bright red glow around the handles. “I’m a livin’ legend. And what’re you?! A pair o’ fillies in way over their heads...”

Pinkie and Pepper gulped in unison. “W-we were just leav—”

“Oh no you don’t!” yelled Redbuck. He charged for the girls way faster than anypony with a peg leg should’ve been able to move. In fact it took a little magic from Pepper to blow them out of the way in time.

“Up there!” Pepper shouted, pointing her sword at the gold pile. “We can climb out!”

Before she could say another word, the Captain caught up to them. With one sword trained on Pinkie and the other on Peppermint, he attacked. The swipes were fast and often; too often for Pepper to focus on anything but blocking. No magic was going to save them this time. All Pepper could do was try to follow the pirate’s sword while her heart pounded in her chest.

The girls backed up as far as they could against the gold, up to reached the very top. Quivering, their hooves locked up. All they could do was stall the inevitable. Even that didn’t last too much longer. In one swift move, Redbuck’s sword caught Pinkie’s by the guard and he tossed it away.

“Pinkie!” Pepper gasped. She held her sword in the way of both of them, desperately blocking both blades. That is, until one scissor-like maneuver grabbed her sword away from her. Redbuck dropped it tantalizingly out of reach.

“Any last words, lassies?” he asked, leveling his swords at their heads.

“S-sorry?” Pinkie offered.

“Nice try,” said Redbuck with a chuckle. “But I think you’re forgettin’: I’m a pirate, lass. We don’t take no ‘sorry’ for what it’s worth.”

“Captain!” called a voice from the water. Pepper recognized it: Sail, the pony they pushed off at the entrance.

Redbuck groaned. “What is it?!” he yelled back.

“They’re coming!” Sail shouted.

Redbuck stood aside and showed Pepper and Pinkie cowering on top of the gold. “Arrrgh, a little sooner woulda been nice.”

“Not them, cap’n! The—”

“Freeze!” shouted an echoing, commanding voice. As he turned to see who it was, Redbuck froze with a look of horror on his face.

Peppermint craned her neck. She could barely see the newcomers, but the sight was enough to make her smile. A mix of golden helmets and police officer caps swarmed in through the entrance. Soon Pinkie saw too and gasped with joy.

The guard and police department of Coltport, gathered en masse, had finally arrived.

“Put the swords down,” shouted the tallest guard. His regal figure towered over the rest as he stodd at the front of the mob. “And let those two go!”

“You’ll never take me alive!” Redbuck shouted at him. “Do you even know who yer dealin’ with, sonny?!”

Peppermint looked at Pinkie and nodded towards the captain’s turned back. Pinkie nodded back, then they both pushed together. Redbuck slipped and rolled down the gold pile. He skipped off the crew members still stuck at the bottom, and landed right at the hooves of the guard captain. When he tried to stand, Redbuck found twenty spears pointed straight at him.

“Arrgh,” he groaned. He held his hooves over his head in defeat.

The guards spread out to check on the other pirates. Most were too dazed from the fight to hold their hooves up, but the few that could most certainly did.

“I can’t believe it,” said Peppermint.

“I know,” Pinkie added. “We won. We really, really won.”

“No, not that,” Pepper sighed. “I mean, we didn’t do what we came here to—”

She was interrupted by the sound of fluttering wings behind them. The two turned around and gasped. A young pegasus colt, no older than fourteen and with a thick bronze-ish coin for a Cutie Mark, froze up like a statue on the back of the gold pile. His fearful eyes locked with Peppermint’s. At least until she saw what he had in his hooves: A small white statuette of one of the Princesses.

“Captiain Redbuck!” announced the guard captain behind them. “You are under arrest for mass piracy, disorderly conduct, and the theft of a rare, priceless heirloom statue from the Summer family manor. How do you plea?”

“Not guilty,” Pepper mumbled. She reached out for the pegasus colt, but he jumped back. “Please, just leave the statue here, and—”

Suddenly he jerked and shuddered. He looked at the gold, then at Peppermint, then the statue. In an instant, he tossed the statue at her and scooped up as many coins as he could. Pinkie tried to grab him before he took off, but wasn’t quite fast enough. Combined with the statue and the shifting coins, however, Peppermint slipped back down the mound towards the guards.

“Ahh!” she yelped. “Help!!”

“Stop! Thief!” Pinkie yelled after the mysterious pegasus.

Pepper winced before she hit the ground, but felt a pair of hooves stop her descent. She winked open one eye to see the guard captain himself. He was a handsome stallion, especially given the situation; Peppermint almost forgot about the world around her as she stared into his eyes.

Of course he was more focused on her hooves than her eyes. “The statue!” he declared. “Thank you for retrieving it, ma’am.”

“Th-that’s her!” cried a feeble voice from the crowd of guards. Tail Wind popped up between them. “She’s the one who told me to get you all!”

The guard captain chuckled. “Well, you’ve done a great service to Coltport today, ma’am. I will see to it that you do not go unrewarded.”

Pinkie slid down from the gold pile. “The pirates didn’t take the statue!” It took Pepper a second, but she remembered what Pinkie was talking about.

“Yeah! This colt just showed up a-and left it here. Like just now!”

“Sir! Just spotted some pegasus pony headed back into town!” called a guard at the back of the mob.

“There’s no time to lose,” the guard captain declared. “You two have done enough for one day. Go home and rest. You’ve earned it.”

With that, the guard and all of their captives galloped off back towards town, leaving Pinkie, Peppermint, and a few police officers to watch the gold.

“Phew!” said Pinkie Pie. “I don’t know about you, but I sure could use a break right about now.”

Peppermint shook her head. “We’re not done,” she mumbled.

“Not done?!” Pinkie gasped. “We just saved the day! You know, bad guys in jail, good guys get to give back what the bad guys stole...”

“You remember my itch?” Pepper asked.

“Uhh, yeah? What, is it acting up again?”

Pepper scoffed. “Hardly. I think I’ll be good for months after those guys.” She shook her head again. “No, I mean— You remember what it looks like?”

“Sure,” said Pinkie. “You get all twitchy. Why?”

“Because I saw that colt before he took off. Before he took the gold.” Pepper stared toward the Coltport rooftops. “He twitched.”