Living with Twilight Sparkle is Weird

You are very rudely awakened one morning when Twilight comes rushing into your room. She's rushed into your room like this before, but today things are different. Usually it's to bring you breakfast, or to show you some new spell, or just to tell you to get that filly out of your bed, what the fuck are you thinking. But no. Today, she's screaming. And today it's 5AM.

What in the gray dawn is going on here.

"Anon! Would you into do the would is help?" she half-shrieks.

You wait for the sentence to make some sense to you, but it just never seems to fit itself together. W-what? Did...did you hear that right?

"Twilight, what are you saying?"

She blushes, looking very distressed. For a moment, she's silent, like she's trying to form her thoughts more clearly. She shuts her eyes, bites her lower lip hard, and makes a sort of little whine in the back of her throat. When she opens her eyes, you can see fear and desperation there.

Kinda hot. You know, it if wasn't 5AM.

"Am I the pony one which is one can't because you?" she says, voice trembling.

Nope, still not making sense.

It's too early. You're too tired. That bender you went on last night with Zecora is still weighing on you. Bi-color bitch mixes some mean drinks! But that means that right now, you don't have the time or braincells for this. Also, you were having dessert dreams, your favorite kind! You can still almost taste the sugar on your tongue. You're just about through with Twilight's shit.

"Twilight, speak fucking English." you say bluntly.

She grabs the fronts of your PJ's, eyes brimming with panicked tears. She shakes you at the hips, and you look down as if your heart was made of stone. There is no sympathy for those who wake you from dreams about Oreo churros. None.

"I spelled a thing magicifally that speaking maded me to give if can when does!" she says.

You roll your eyes and begin to push her to the bedroom door. Something about magic. Something about speaking. But no, you don't care. She can deal with this herself, you need your beauty rest.

"I don't know what you're saying, or what you want me to do about this. But you're on your own. Now, if you can't express yourself properly, I want you to get the fuck out."

She lowers her eyes, shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. You hear her whimpering pathetically, but it does nothing to break through your sleep-hardened exterior. At last, she raises her chin and meets your eyes. Her voice cracks as she speaks.

"Then why did what you did do more like as what opposed to it?"

You slam the door in her face and go back to bed.

I think we're done here.

-End-