Living with Twilight Sparkle is Weird

"Hey, could you do me a favor Anon?"

It's a sunny day, just around noon, and you look up from a book you recently grabbed from the upstairs library to find your roommate, Twilight, regarding you uncomfortably. You smile at her, but remind yourself that there's no way you're helping her braid her mane again. You could feel the testosterone seeping out of your body in full gallons last time you did that. Sure it's soft, but nope. Never again.

"Depends on the favor, but I'd be game. What's up?"

She seems to wince at having to explain herself.

"Well, you see, every few weeks this zebra, Zecora, comes around here to see me."

"Yeah," you say, closing your book. "I noticed that. She's always bringing a game or something with her, what's up with that anyway."

The purple unicorn shrugs.

"I don't know, maybe she just wants company, and I don't think she has too many other friends besides me. Anyway, I have to be...somewhere else today. Could you...I don't know, entertain her or something?"

You look Twilight up and down a few times skeptically. Has to be somewhere else, huh? More like is avoiding her. You can tell when a burden is being passed off on you, and that's definitely what's happening now. Still, playing games with a Zebra, how hard can it be. You hesitate, but eventually do give your answer.

"I suppose, but-"

"GREAT!" she cries before you can finish. "In fact, I have to be going. As in...right now...so..."

She's already making her way to the door before she even finishes her sentence. You call out to her, but she doesn't slow her steady progress away from you.

"But Twilight, what-"

"No time to chat, see you later kthanks, bye!"

She slams the door behind her and with that she is gone.

It's only a little later that afternoon when you hear a knock at the door. Standing there is that zebra (Zecora was it?) you've seen around every so often, just as Twilight said she would be. She's smiling at you expectantly, the sun glinting off her gold jewelry, and she's carrying a strange box on her back.

"Well hi," you say, trying to be cordial. "Twilight's not here right now, but can I help you with anything?"

Her smile never wavers for a moment, and she even seems to take a small, slight step towards you.

"Hello, Anon, I wanted to see, are you doing anything currently?"

Oh, that's right. This bitch talks in rhyme.

"Er, I guess not."

She seems to brighten even further.

"Well then, it having fun's your aim, would you like to play this game?"

She nods towards the box on her back. Written on it is a series of strange symbols and letters that you don't quite recognize. It's an odd request, but maybe the poor thing is lonely, like Twilight had suggested. You feel for her on that one, it's difficult being the only one of your kind in an area. Besides, maybe you can get her drunk later and convince her to try to rap. That...could be really entertaining.

"Sure," you say with a shrug. "Why not. What game is it?"

Zecora comes in and sets the box on the table. She begins opening it and sorting out game pieces and dice. The thing looks a little bit like candyland, but more...tribal.

"The name, I doubt you'd understand, but it is one from my native land." she says with a smile and a homey sigh.

Well, that's kinda cool you guess. Maybe this will be fun after all. You sit down across from her and inspect the ancient looking board, as well as it's many cryptic drawings and scribbles. You select a piece that looks like a rhino as your own.

"Ok, how to we play?"

"The rules are simple as time will prove," she says. "You simply roll the dice and move. Then, depending where you land, what happens next could be quite grand."

Yeah, it even sounds like candyland, not your favorite game by a long shot. Still, got to keep an open mind, she is from another culture after all. With a further shrug, you roll the dice. To your shock and dismay, your piece moves forward across the board on its own, with a sickening grind.

"What the shit?"

You stumble back away from the game. In the center, a small orb changes shade and form and there are suddenly strange words written there.

"W-what does it say?" you ask, still a little shocked.

Zecora gazes down at it, grinning rather ominously. Shen she looks up at you, her eyes are practically gleaming. She laughs then, a low, rumbling laugh, like far off thunder. You have enough time to think to yourself that this maybe wasn't such a good idea, before everything goes to shit.

Suddenly, you feel yourself start to disintegrate, starting with your hands. Almost like you're becoming...sand or something! It's excruciating, terrifying, nauseating, and as you look down you see your hands separating into nothing, right before you. It's all too fast! What's going on! For fucks sake, this is why you should never do favors for a fucking unicorn! Over the sound of your horrified screams, you hear the zebra chant a further rhyme.

"In the jungle you must wait, until the dice read 5 or 8."

You try to hold yourself together, try to run, but the game is sucking you in. It's unstoppable, unbreakable. You scream, but even that just turns to sand in the air around you. The last thing you see is the Zebra's face leering down at you, then you're gone.

With a satisfied sigh, Zecora closes up the game board and sets it on her back again. As she leaves, she sings out softly to herself:

"A simple game, as you can plainly see, but how I love playing Jumanji."

Twilight comes home an hour or so later. She looks around cautiously to see if you're there, and when she finds that you're nowhere to be seen, she lets out a heavy sigh. She slumps into a nearby armchair and shuts her eyes, a look of serene peace spreading over her.

"Thank Celestia, he's finally gone," she says in relief. "I'll have to remember to pay Zecora tomorrow. Best two bits I ever spent."

-End-