Shitty Clop Oneshots

http://pastebin.com/zFrZe8wS

The UN meeting was boring, as they typically were. Russia had overstepped their bounds and China was pursuing action, per normal. The US delegate was bored to tears. Suddenly, a tear in the fabric of the universe opened, and a group of ponies stepped through onto the stage. Fuck he though. Not again.

But there was something different about these ponies. As the peacekeepers approached the stage to throw them out, a wave of green fire swept over each of them, blinding the room. When the US delegate cleared his eyes, he could see that what he had originally thought were ponies were some sort of equinoid insects.

The room was silent, even the Chinese delegate had faltered in his speech about where exactly Russia could put their missiles. The largest of the creatures, a fascinting specimen with curved and holed horn, approached the podium.

"I am Queen Chrysalis of the Changeling nation, and I come before the UN seeking refuge for my struggling people. For too long has the changeling nation suffered death and destruction at the hooves of the Equestrians. Today I come before, asking that you might help us throw off the yoke of oppression that binds us."

"The Equestrians fear us because in order to live we must partake of postive emotions like kindness, compassion, and love, none of which they've shown as they raze our cities and slaughter our children. To be judged as vermin because we must shift our form to live is a crime against sapiency. To this end, I ask of you to help stop the genocide of my people."

The room was silent. The US delegate, being the closest to the microphone, slowly approached it. Holding it in one hand, he asked, "Did you say that you can change your forms?"

"Yes. We can assume the shape of most beast or pony, for which we are judged against."

The room was silent once more. Slowly, the delegate pondered his next move.

"The US would like to tender an offer of immediate asylum to the Changeling nation as well as-OOF"

What no one in the room expected was for the Chinese delegate to stab the US delegate in the back with a pen-knift and take the microphone for himself.

"China pledges asylum, AND political support!" he screamed into the microphone.

What no one expected again, was for the US delegate to draw a boot-derringer and pop a cap in the Chinese delegate's brain bucket, and once again take the microphone.

"The US amends it's offer to immediate asylum, political support, financial aid, AND economic stimulus. Does the changeling nation accept?"