Two Background Ponies Revisit Season Five

Party Pooped

Within the town-wide festival to celebrate the highlights of Equestria to the delegates from Yakyakistan, two particular attendees looked like they had been better. The blue stallion of the two looked a little nervous while he helped a green stallion wearing numerous bandages and a head dressing limp along. The anxiety only increased when Princess Twilight Sparkle led the three muscle-bound and hostile yaks up to them.

"And here we have Incarlsistency and Sam-Listens-To-Carl's-Problems!" She announced, trying to make it sound grandiose without sweating herself. "Incarlsistency is a quality control operator at the local horseshoe plant. So Carl...any interesting tidbits about Equestrian culture you care to share with our Yakyakistani friends?"

The green stallion gave them a sour look for a few seconds.

"Yeah...yeah, I got a tradition. When ponies show up in a horseshoe plant in another country and they see that the shoes aren't made the 'Equestrian Way', we don't pick up the nearest section of conveyor and break it over the heads of quality control ope-"

"Oh my! Look at the time! Busy-busy-busy!" Twilight quickly and nervously cut off, gesturing the yaks along. "We still have to meet those two ladies over there to explain Equestrian same-sex cohabitation!"

As soon as the delegates had been pushed away, Sam gave Carl a glare. "Dude, do not make them mad again! My hooves are still throbbing from trying to sort out some intact seashells from what they did to my office! You want to start that war they were threatening earlier?"

"Who cares? How are they going to invade us, dude? We control the train systems!"

"...I'll give you that, but don't you remember world history? Every nation that ever tried to take over Yakyakistan always ended up in the hole and thrashed! It's hardly even a nation to begin with! You can't conquer a country with no government! Besides...they got General Winter on their side."

Carl turned his head. "...Oh, you mean if someone tries to invade them, they tear up the train tracks, burn all the fields, wreck all the buildings, and make sure that any invading force can't get any support and slow them down until the extreme cold season does most of the work of beating them for them?"

Sam blinked. "...No, I mean they got this yak twice the size of those guys named General Winter who could take the Canterlot Royal Guard single-hoofedly."

Carl frowned. "It's real confusing how we're all named after nouns and verbs sometimes... But..." He blinked. "That...brings up a good point, Sam..."

The blue-colored stallion began to wince. "Oh no..."

At once, Carl reached for his side and produced a complete map of Equestria. He displayed it to Sam and pointed. "Ok...the Crystal Mountains are right up here, and beyond them is Yakyakistan, right."

"Right."

"And Ponyville is here, right?"

"Right."

Carl stared blankly. "...So why was the train to Yakyakistan going to Dodge City...which is here?"

"To loop around by going down past the edge of the map and back to the top, of course." Sam shrugged. "Duh."

Carl blinked and stared. "...What?"

"Yeah, everyone knows once you reach the edge of a map of the world you're effectively on the other side of it."

The green stallion continued to stare. "Uh...no it doesn't...or shouldn't. I mean, this is of a globe, right? So once you hit the bottom you start going up again from another spot, right?"

"I don't think so, Carl." Sam answered. "That's how our airships get around the fastest. See?"

He pointed up, just as one of the airships was rushing by at full speed, bearing a crew of a spiky-haired unicorn with an oversized horn, a bulky earth pony with what looked like a gatling gun for a hoof, and a long brown maned pegasus who had...ahem...an ample bust size. As the two stallions looked, the airship roared over the sky far, far to the south...and then vanished in a blip...reappearing at the northernmost limits of Equestria instead.

"See?"

Carl merely stared open mouthed. "...I need to crack open my old physics textbook."

Suddenly, Princess Cadance walked by in front of them.

"Hi Sam. Hi Carl."

Both looked to her. "Hello princess."

She walked away soon after. Both stallions were left staring.

"...Did that seem kind of random, Sam?"

"Yeah, but apparently she's been popping in for no reason a lot lately..."

You know, I always thought it would be a bit more interesting if we saw more airships cruising around Equestria. Don't you, Carl?

I can't talk now, Sam... I'm practicing my squats so I can win that blond wig from Big Macintosh.

Okaaaay...why?

Why? Why?! You think I can sneak into a bordello with a regular old wig? Or one that's dyed?

...Nevermind, I don't want to know.