Two Background Ponies Revisit Season Five

Bloom and Gloom

Sam read over the last page of the manga, and then gave it a close. Setting it to one side, he exhaled in a long sigh and looked up to Carl. The green stallion, on his part, was rather impatient that it had taken him so long to finish. The cookies were no longer warm and his shake was beginning to flatten.

"Sorry about that, Carl. I was really into the latest 'One Pace' issue that came out."

"I find that hard to believe, Sam."

The stallion blinked. "Huh? Why?"

"I find it hard to believe anypony is still into that after so long. Which number was that again?"

"Uh..." He held the side up and looked at it. "...197."

"Good Celestia, Sam!" Carl whined, hitting his head on the table. "You started reading that when we were in fifth grade! After this many years the pirates still haven't gotten to the end of the Grand Race Track?"

"Oh, they're not trying to do that anymore, Carl."

The stallion looked up in confusion. "Huh? But...I thought that was the whole point of the series? They need to get to the end and then the story's over?"

"Well, here's the thing." The blue stallion answered. "For years and years they were sailing on and on and going everywhere, and all of the fans were getting sick of the fact that they never got to the end of the Grand Race Track. But the author wanted to keep going on that storyline in spite of the fact it never went anywhere, so they got an idea."

"What?"

Sam leaned in and held up his hooves. "It's like this...they suddenly made Straw-Hat Lopey not want to get to the end of the Grand Race Track."

Carl stared blankly back. "...Seriously. That's what they did."

"Yup."

"...The whole reason for his plotline...the obsession he's had for years and years...the whole overall goal in life and his character's primary motivation...and suddenly now he wants the opposite?"

"Yup. He's afraid to get to the end now. So he's sailing away from the end of the Grand Race Track."

The green stallion stared a moment more, then smashed his head against the table.

"...Carl, if you have to do that every week, you'll eventually break it and then we'll have to-"

"Of all the crap they could have done, that's how they decide to keep the story going?! They couldn't just resolve that plot line and start a new one?! They couldn't just give his character more motivation than accomplishing one goal in life?! They couldn't try to expand on his friendship or relationship with the rest of the crew?! No...they're just going to have him start wanting the opposite thing?! That's the laziest writing I ever heard of!"

Sam grimaced. "Well...er...they had Commander Quirt reach the end of the Grand Race Track, if that's any consolation... He wanted to get there too..."

"He's appeared in the series, like, twice! And the last time he showed up was over a year ago!" He froze. "Wait...I get it! You said there was this new bad guy whose ability was to take away people's desire, right? Who disappeared after the start of the new arc? Oh! I get it now! That villain showed up and now he's trying to manipulate Lopey, right? That's actually pretty nice! Having a villain recur multiple times instead of just showing up at the end of the arc..."

"Uh...no, Carl." Sam muttered. "He just decided he didn't want to."

Carl slammed his hooves on the table. "Dangit, there's making a plotline go on longer and then there's shameless attempts to stretch! That thread is never going to get resolved, Sam! Eventually people will stop reading it and they'll have to throw out a pat final issue that's never going to resolve anything! It's best if you just stop reading it no-"

Sam immediately reached over and slapped his hoof on Carl's mouth, going wide-eyed.

"Don't say that, Carl." He spoke nervously. "Don't ever say that..."

The two stallions slowly turn their heads...and look at you.

...

Say...

...

Say Carl...

...

How's your crow taste? Need more salt?

Shut up, Sam...