Fallout: Equestria: Honest Herds

Fallout: Equestria: Honest Herds

By sargecadet

Chapter 2: Into the Wasteland

"I turned, and there before me stood... the Timberwolves!"

Night was falling. I sat in what had formerly been a Fire Hairs camp. I’d killed them all. Well, most of them. I’d found the remains of the bullet that had blasted the unicorn’s body apart, and it was fricken huge. No wonder her body exploded. Then noticed the sickening feeling of my coat being matted down with blood and gore and bits of bone. The natural reaction, vomiting, followed almost immediately. I realized two things while I spat to rid myself of the disgusting taste: one, I hated killing and it made me feel sick, and two, the bullets in my flank were really painful. I thought of trying to pull out the bullets but vaguely remembered something my mom had said about arteries. Plus, there was no way I could reach my flank with my mouth, so it would be impossible anyways.

I looked at the sky as I wiped off as much of the unicorn's guts as I could, almost vomiting again. The sun had almost completely set, but I was afraid that if I stayed where I was a new bunch of guards would arrive to relieve the ones I’d killed. I poured some Healing Powder directly into my bullet wounds to dull the pain, picked up my new sledgehammer, and walked into the cave. This is a bad idea, I thought, staying away from a cave of Timberwolves always seemed like a good idea before. Was this really the only route around the rest of the Fire Hairs' forces?

I opened the door blocking the cave entrance and was greeted by the smell of mildew and rotting animal flesh. My E.F.S. wasn't showing anything yet so I assumed it was safe to proceed. I switched on my Pip-Buck light. The walls were wet and slimy with an ooze I couldn't identify. I continued further into the cave.

The cave eventually split off in two directions. I checked my Pip-Buck's local map. Apparently the right passage was... well, the right passage. So I went right. One by one lots of small red marks appeared on my E.F.S. compass. I turned off my light to avoid detection and began creeping forward slowly. Throaty snoring noises emanated from a cavern ahead of me. Pack of Timberwolves hindering my path? Check. At least they're asleep, I thought.

The space reeked of rotting flesh. Carcasses of small animals littered the floor. Wait, not just animals. With my eyes adjusting to the light (or rather the lack of light) I noticed a decidedly pony shaped corpse held under the paw of one of the monsters. The horn on top of the pony's skull had been gnawed on to the point where it had begun to crack apart. I definitely didn't want to end up like that pony.

I crept slowly around the bulk of the monsters toward where my map said the exit of the cavern was. Yeah, this is easy, I thought with a grin, all I've got to do is make sure I don't step... And then I stepped on one of them. "Oh thit." I whispered through my hammer. Damn bad luck.

The huge critter opened its glowing purple eyes to the sight of me standing on its paw. The beast stood up to full height and howled for blood (well, it seemed thirsty for my blood at the time. What else do Timberwolves howl for?). All the others woke up at once, and before I knew it a whole pack of wooden monstrosities were chasing after me.

Running for my life was something I suddenly realized I hated, but fighting an entire hungry pack of Timberwolves seemed like a really bad idea. Screw stealth, I thought as I turned on my Pip-Buck light so I could see where the hell I was going. My pursuers stumbled for a second, their eyes apparently adjusting to the new light. That was good, I wanted as much distance between them and myself.

I could see daylight down the tunnel a little ways. Salvation! Unfortunately salvation was guarded by two more Timberwolves. No time to stop and no way to avoid them, I used the only tactic I knew: I charged. I took advantage of their temporary blinding by my bright light and wished for that S.A.T.S. thing again. Time froze and I lined up a hammer swing at an angle that would knock the larger Timberwolf into the smaller one. It worked. The two tangled Timberwolves fell together and acted as a roadblock, causing the rest of the pack to stumble over them.

I dove out the cave entrance, opened my saddle bags, fished out two sticks of dynamite, knocked off the safety caps, and tossed them into the jumbled mess of monsters. The explosion had the added effect of closing off the tunnel by causing several extra-large boulders to roll in front of the entrance. Guess I wouldn't be getting back that way.

I was able to collect the wooden limbs of some of my deceased foes and used them to get a fire going. I combined some cactus fruit and sand-root I found to make a poultice which I placed on my bullet wounds. I stared at the Goddess Luna's bright moon. I'd once heard a trader from the north mention that she had only seen the for the first time a few years ago. I couldn't imagine a night without the moon.

While my mind was on the moon (and while trying to avoid thinking of the Fire Hairs I'd killed), I decided to open the copy of "Story of the Goddesses" the Arch-Seer had given me. It seemed a little too heavy for its size, but at the time it didn't bother me much. I nosed my way through to my favorite part, "Second Discord, chapter ten", and began reading to myself: “And the Six didst take up their Elements, as was the Goddesses' will, and with them advanced against the King of Chaos. And the wielder of Magic said unto her friends...”

And that was where I fell asleep (on my left side, of course). It had been a tiring and traumitising first day adventuring, and I needed some rest.

“Ger’up, yew. Whoer yew? Wher’ yew from? Wutch yew dooin near mah cave?” An old and scarred grey unicorn who was missing several teeth and wobbled back and forth was sticking the barrel of the rifle he was levitating in my face when I awoke. My E.F.S. registered him as a blue mark.

“What? Who are you?” I mumbled, my sleepy brain still in a haze. He just poked my nose with the rifle.

“Ah’m askin da queshuns,” he barked, “Nah yew, me!”

I hate mornings. “Um, I’m...” should I lie about my name and where I’m from? What if this buck really hated White Hooves for whatever reason? “I’m Fall. I’m, uh... I’m an ambassador... no, I’m a scout... no, I’m an ambassador. Yeah, that’s right, I’m an ambassador.” Oh yeah, Fall, real convincing.

“Ambassadur? Frum wher’?” Some yellow spit flew out of his mouth as he spoke.

I stood up, cringing from the pain in my side. “I’m an ambassador for... the White Hooves tribe...” Judging from the confused expresion on his face, what I’d said didn’t seem to be ringing any bells for this pony, “I’m from the Ghost Lands.” Still nothing. He telekinetically rocked the bolt back and then forward. I don’t know much about guns, but I think that means it had a bullet ready.

A light suddenly seemed to go on in his head. “Oh, da Ghosht Landsh! Down sout’ oh here!” I nodded. Maybe he understood... “Yew’re wun oh dem Fa’ir Hair raiders whoev ben stealin’ and killin’ all da brahmin!” he pushed the tip of the barrel between my ears, “Yew cost me faib-hunred caps yew little shit!” The blue mark on my E.F.S. turned red. His magic tightened around the trigger.

I wished for S.A.T.S. Time froze and I suddenly realized I wasn't carrying a weapon. S.A.T.S. didn't seem to care as I queued up three unarmed hits. First strike knocked the rifle out of his magical grip, cracking the wooden stock. The next two strikes hit his face with enough force to knock him over but not enough to kill him. Time accelerated again and I pinned him to the ground.

"No!" I shouted in his ugly face, "I'm a White Hooves, not a Fire Hairs, and I haven't been killing your brahmin!" Why the hell would I kill brahmin anyways? He just stared back at me, confused. His mark changed to blue again. I stepped off of him and carefully kicked away his rifle. This pony clearly wasn't right in the head.

I placed "Story of the Goddesses" back in my saddlebags and picked up my hammer. The strange unicorn buck stared at his rifle, then at me, then back to his rifle.

"Wah yew got st'ipes on yew?" the crazy buck asked.

I face hoofed and dropped my hammer. "They're my tribes marks." I responded. He nodded, appearing to understand what I was saying. I got an idea. "Hey, could you point me in the direction of the NCR?"

"Da NCR?" he asked, "Wah yew wanna talk ta dem?"

How could I put this? "Um, because I'm an ambassador?" That made sense, right? The strange unicorn seemed to get what I was saying, anyways.

"Dere's a trad’n posht nah far from here. Ah could take yew dere," and then, almost as an afterthought, he said, "fer fifty caps."

I was a bit hesitant to trust a buck who had just tried to blow my brains out a moment ago. Also, what the heck was a cap? I decided to play along for now and pay him back later, assuming that caps were some sort of currency I had yet to encounter. I'd also hold onto his gun for now.

"Sure, take me there." I said. He reached for his rifle with magic. I promptly picked it up instead and placed it into my bag, "And you'll get your gun back when we get there." He nodded, apparently thinking that was fair.

"Dis way!" the gray unicorn proclaimed happily, and began trotting forward, wobbling with each step. I grabbed my hammer and followed along.

You can learn a lot about a pony when you walk (in pain with every step) with them for a few hours. For example, the strange unicorn proclaimed his name was Pickle Hooves (which matched his cutie mark depicting hooves in a pickle jar), he sold pickles for a living (predictably), that he was actually a griffon in disguise, and that the NCR was part of his "impirer". I had some trouble believing those last two "facts".

“So, who’s the NCR’s chief?” I asked once I was able to get a word in.

"Well, Ah jus toll yew it's pert oh my impirer," sure it is... "but dey don't really have a chef."

I turned and stared at him. "What? No chief?" A tribe without a chief? That's like a pie without a crust!

He scratched his chin with the edge of his hoof. "Nah, da republic's got a... um... oh, was da word? Oh yeah, dey gah a president." he seemed pleased to remember that word. But what the heck was a president?

"Well, what makes a president different from a chief?" getting an alliance suddenly seemed more confusing than just talking to their chief.

"Ah don' rightly know. Ah think is b'cause dey're chosen. President Fluttershah was, Ah think. Yew kin ask some'un else ooh knows more. We're 'ere."

The trading post was... underwhelming. It was less than half the size of Iron Hide. The buildings were made of rusting sheet metal and the short barrier surrounding the camp (and I call it a camp because it truly wasn't even worthy of being called a village) was made of razor wire that was just as rusty as the buildings. I felt disappointed. Not disappointed in the inhabitants or the fact it was so small, but more of a feeling of being let down. I had expected more of this supposedly powerful northern tribe. Was the NCR so weak that it couldn't ensure its ponies were safe and their towns strong? My Pip-Buck map marked the location: Waypoint Trading Company. Wow. So exciting.

An attractive yellow-green earth pony mare with a red mane who wore an ancient mud-brown hat stood by the small gate to the town. She raised her rifle, cradling it in her fore hooves. For a second time this day I was staring down the barrel of a gun.

"I swear ta Celestia, tribal, if yah try anything I will blow your damn head off." she growled with venom behind her words.

Was there a sign on my head that said 'Danger: Will Attack Unprovoked' or something? "I'm not here to cause any harm."

"Oh yeah? Then why did you take Pickle hostage, huh?" What the hell? She turned to Pickle, "Did this tribal hurt yah? Cause I can kill him right now if yah want." Oh, shit, I don't want to die. What if that crazy buck still wanted to kill me like this morning? Crap... "I kinda want to anyways..." she added in, playing on my (probably apparent) fear.

"Ah, nah, Lily, dis 'ere pony's mah guest," Oh Goddesses, what a relief, "An belief yew meh, dis pony's a tough buck. Blew up mah Timmerwolfs, he did. 'sides, he's mah hostage, to." Yeah... wait, what?

"He's ain't your hostage, Pickle. He's got your gun." Lily retorted, with a role of her eyes.

I stamped my hoof in agreement. "Yeah," I said, "I've got your gun. How am I your hostage?" Why were we discussing hostages anyways?

"He's mah hostage cause he got a debt tah pay. Been killin' our brahmin." Oh, dear Goddesses. This buck didn't remember anything.

Fortunately Lily backed me up. "He ain't been killing our brahmin, Pickle. He's part of the wrong tribe, obviously. Just look at those stripes. I ain't never seen a Fire Hairs wear stripes." she turned to me, "Now you ought to give my pal his gun back, right now." I quickly obliged. "Well, if you ain't here to ransom Pickle, why are ya here, tribal?" she asked, her gun still pointed at my head.

"My name is Fall. I'm here to form an alliance between my tribe, the White Hooves, and the NCR." I tried to smile, but it just made me look constipated.

"All us here are NCR, tribal." she replied, apparently not caring to use my name.

Great! One day away and I'd already found the ponies I'd been sent for. "That's awesome news. Can I speak to your chief..." I corrected myself, "I mean, your president?" A loud 'whump' sounded behind me.

"Pony, your a long way from the president," growled a deep bass voice behind me. I spun around, nearly tripping over my hooves. A huge lion bird thing- a griffon, I remembered from stories- was towering over me, his sharp talons scratching into the ground. He wore the toughest barding I'd ever seen: heavy looking black metal with a small white talon painted on the chest peice. He stood at twice my height, bright brown eyes staring into me. I had no idea why a huge griffon-monster would be around a bunch of ponies... unless they were for food...

"Um, hi?" I choked out. I was not in the mood to get eaten right now.

"Remove your barding and empty your saddle bags." the griffon commanded.

"W-why?" he just stared with his cold eyes, forcing me to comply. I quickly slipped out of my leather barding and dumped out the contents of my bags into the dirt. The griffon inspected me, took my pistol and three remaining sticks of dynamite, then turned to Lily.

"Lily, you can open the gate now." he turned to face me, "Welcome to Waypoint."

Apparently the ponies at the trade post were not the griffon's food. They were his employees. Red, the griffon, led me to his office, an eight by eight rusting shack furnished with a molding desk. He sat in a chair, leaning back in the most bizarre way and propping up his feet on the desk, eliciting a groaning creak from the war-era furniture.

"Remind me again why you're here... Fall, was it?" Red asked, stretching out his wings in a way that made me feel small.

"Yeah, that's right," I answered. He'd allowed me to put my barding back on but hadn't returned either the pistol or the dynamite. "I'm here because my tribe wants an alliance with your tribe. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find your, um, president, would you?"

"The NCR isn't a tribe, Fall. Even if it was, I couldn't help you with your alliance." he paused and squinted, as if gathering his thoughts. "The ponies who work for me are citizens of the republic, but the only one with a connection to the government is Pickle, so they can't help you either." I snorted a little at the mental image of Pickle talking to a tribal elder. "And me," the griffon continued, "I turned down citizenship a long time ago. I prefer to be unattached."

Well that put a kink in my plan. I'd expected the NCR to be like the White Hooves. In the tribe, if you needed to tell the chief something you just talked to a seer, who talked to an elder, who talked to the chief. Why wasn't everywhere as simple?

"However," he began to say, "what I can offer you is a job."

"A job?" How would a job help me at all?

Blackwing cleared his throat. "You see, a few of my good couriers and guard ponies have been killed recently in raids by Fire Hair tribals. You see, my company is right on the edge of the Ghost Lands. It was peaceful here for a long time. Now the Fire Hairs occupy the border, and they, for whatever reason, really hate us. Of course, you probably already knew that."

"So, you want me to join up with you to help replace your dead ponies. I jumped in, cutting to the chase. "How exactly will that help me form an alliance?"

"It won't, not directly at least." he smirked. "A pony like you won't last out in the wasteland. Not long, anyways. Hell, Pickle was able to capture you and he isn't even able to find the gate most days."

I felt a little insulted. "I wasn't captured. If anything I captured him!" I stomped my hoof for emphasis.

The smirk was still there. "Regardless," he continued, "you’re fresh out of the herd. First radscorpian you meets going to stab you to death before you even know it's there. You need experience to survive your journey, I need workers." I thought about it a little, staring at the ground. "I can provide you with medical care to. I noticed your bullet wounds. All my employees get free medical care."

As soon as he mentioned it I began feeling pain in my flank again. I knew that healing powder would only numb it, not fix it. And he was right. I was new out here, and as much as I had learned from the creepy dark mare it wouldn't match working with a bunch of wasteland veterans.

I sighed. "Fine."

Red led me to Waypoint's resident surgeon. When I saw the unicorn... well, it wasn't much of a unicorn. Her skin was peeling off in a way that made her look burned and made it impossible to tell what color her coat had been before. Her mane consisted of a few tufts of seafoam-green and white hair growing (well, not growing, sprouting really) along her neck. Her horn- to be honest I was amazed it could do magic at all- was cracked in half down the middle. Needless to say I freaked out.

"Holy shit!" I screamed in her face, "What in the name of Celestia and Luna and all the Goddess-damned ancestors fucking happened to you!?"

She looked at me with an expression of disbelief, then turned to my new boss. "Red," her voice sounded like a barrel of rocks being tossed down a hill, "who the fuck is this?"

"Lyra," Red replied," meet Fall. Fall, meet Lyra. Lyra is our one and only surgeon."

"But what the hell is she?!" I screamed.

"What, have you lived in a cave? Haven't you ever seen a ghoul, kid?" the- really, really ugly- mare said. What in Luna's name was a ghoul? I'd only seen monsters like this in nightmares.

"Fall is from a tribe down south, Lyra. He hasn't seen a lot of things." Red answered her, "Fall is Waypoint's newest member and he's already taken a few bullets. I'd like you to pry them out of him."

The ghoul mare sighed. "Fine, boss. But next time you hire somepony new, would you mind telling them I'm a ghoul first? I hate when ponies freak the fuck out about ghouls."

The huge griffon chuckled "Can do, Lyra." then walked away, leaving me in the care of the freakishly disfigured mare.

"Well then, don't waste my time. Get on the table." she growled. A look in her darkly yellowed and bloodshot eyes told me, somehow, that she understood the fear I felt. She must have been accustomed to reactions like mine because she didn't look angry, just sad.

I clambered onto the blood stained operating table and laid down on my stomach. She magically stripped off my barding and began inspecting the bullet wounds in my flank.

"What exactly did you use to treat yourself?" she asked as she prodded the holes with some type of medical instrument. "Your skin has started scarring over the bullets."

"I poured in some healing powder. You know, to dull the pain." That had been a good idea, right?

She let out a disgusted grunt and mumbled something about tribals. "Whatever was in that powder cauterized your flesh. I'm gonna have to cut the bullets out."

Wait, cut? That sounded painfu... Ow. Yeah, scalpels hurt.

I began trying to make small talk to take my mind off the pain in my flank. "So," I said, "what, um, happened to make you a, uh, ghoul, was it?"

"Radiation. Lots of radiation. I got stuck in the edge of the blast of a balefire bomb explosion." Wow. I wasn't quite sure what that meant, but that sounded really bad.

"How'd that happen?"

She proceded to tell me her life story: "I used to live in a little town in Equestria called Ponyville. It was a nice place, quiet, peaceful. I played the harp in a little band my marefriend and I were part of. I still miss Ponyville. But that was before the war."

"Wait, you were alive before the world was burned?" That couldn't be possible, could it? But that was more than two-hundred years ago!

"That's where a lot of ghouls are from. As I was saying, Ponyville was nice, but I needed money so I moved to Fillydelphia. Lots of ponies looking for work went there to work in factories. Bon-Bon wouldn't come with me though..." she sounded sad. No, not sad, remorseful. Remorseful and a touch of nostalgia. "Anyway," she continued, "the war started. The pay and conditions sucked in the factories and there wasn't exactly very much demand for an amateur harp player, so I decided to join the army as a medic. Being in the Equestrian army sucked also. Long story short, I took a bullet that shattered my leg, got transferred to a soft duty job with the Ministry of Peace, and got sent south to Desert Outpost 17. Then one day the big top secret project thingy the MoP was working on blew up. I turned into this, I wandered for a long time, I joined Waypoint, the end. Aaaand that's the last bullet hole sowed up. All done."

That... was one hell of a story. I couldn't imagine being an irradiated monster for two-hundred years, forced to outlive everypony I'd ever known. Her life... I couldn't imagine. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." I raised myself up (ow) slowly off the table. I couldn't empathize with her since I'd obviously never lived a life as a ghoul, but she had all my sympathy. Also, in a very strange and slightly uncomfortable way, she reminded me a little of my mom.

"Oh, don't be sorry, kid," the gravely voiced ghoul growled, "It's my story. It's part of what makes me who I am." She gave me the warmest smile I'd ever seen. How could she smile like that?

"Well, thanks for patching me up." I said weakly.

"Oh, it's no problem at all. After all, you work here." she replied, then added, "And a little word of advice: wash off that paint. Some ponies get antsy around tribals."

"Got it. Thanks again." I turned and began walking out the door. From behind me I thought I heard her whisper 'good luck,' but maybe I'd just imagined it.

I would have washed off my (poorly applied) paint like Lyra had said... if I knew where anything in Waypoint was. I ended up just wandering around, lost, till I finally found a trough of water. Unsure if it was intended for drinking or washing, I just sat down in front of it and began thinking. Thinking wasn't something I was particularly good at and something I didn't have much of a use for when smashing rocks. What in Luna's name was I doing here? Why had I volunteered? One day away from my tribe and I had already gotten shot up, run through a cave of angry Timberwolves, sort-of gotten captured by a buck who was a few walls short of a barn, been coerced into joining a company of NCR ponies in self-imposed exile led by a monster I'd only heard stories about, and then healed by a monster I never could have imagined. When did the Goddesses decide my life needed to take a turn for the dangerous and bizarre?

"You've got a tooth in your tail," two voices, one male and one female, said from behind me, breaking my train of thought.

I turned around. Before me stood twins, both dark blue unicorns with black manes, both with cutie marks of a butterfly. Correction, a butterfly ripped in half. "What did you say?" I asked.

The male answered without his sister's echo. "A tooth. You have one stuck in your tail." I combed through my tail with my hoof and found it. It was very bloody with the root still connected. My insides began to move. My mind was brought back to that Fire Hairs unicorn exploding by me, definitely the source of this bloody shrapnel. Oddly the vision of my enemies violent end bothered me more now than when it happened. My insides lurched again, sending the contents of my stomach in an outwardly direction.

"Are you okay?" his sister asked, "Teeth aren't normally considered that disgusting."

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hoof and spat on the ground, trying to rid myself of the taste of bile.

"Well, you know what they say about tribals." her brother replied.

"No, what do they say about tribals?" she asked with a slight tilt of her head.

"Who are you?" I interrupted the odd pair. Was there some rule that all NCR ponies had to be strange?

"He's Twoblue..." said the mare.

"...and she's Threeblue." finished the stallion. "Who're you, new guy? We haven't seen you around here before."

Two and Three? They just got even weirder. "I'm Fall."

"Hi, Fall." Threeblue said with a very perky smile, "So, why'd the big boss griffon hire you? Got any special skills we should know about?"

"You know, since we're coworkers now, after all." Twoblue added.

Did I have any special skills? Or, a better question would be: does breaking apart rocks really count as a skill? Wait... was being really good at something sort of a thing with this company? "Um, I'm good at hitting stuff with hammers and picks. Is that what you mean?" I scratched at my Pip-Buck and spat on the ground again.

The twins glanced at each other and started talking, adding to each other's sentences. "Sure..." "We always need ponies good at breaking stuff..." "And we obviously wouldn't complain about..." "Getting somepony new..." "But..." "The boss usually hires ponies with more..." "Specific..." "Skills."

Uh, what? "I'm not sure what you mean." What in Luna's holy name where they talking about? Specific skills? What did that even mean?

"Well, for example, Three is really good at invisibility magic," the stallion said, "and I'm good at choking ponies from a distance and dropping rocks on them."

The mare picked up where her brother left off. "Yeah, and Lily is really good at shooting ponies in the face, and Silver Gallop is awesome at making potions, and Pickle is good at... um," she glanced at her brother, "herding brahmin?" Two just shrugged.

Speak of Discord. "Hey, twins, boss wants to see all us." Lily, the guard mare I'd met earlier, announced to my new coworkers. She was wearing spiked metal barding that fit her form beautifully (I'm almost inclined to say seductively, but in regards to Lily that feels wrong), along with a setup I'd never seen before that had rifles strapped to her sides along with mouth-bits connected to the triggers.

"Okay, Lily, see you there." the twins sang out in concert. Threeblue looked back towards me and smiled, "It was nice to meet you, Fall. See you around!"

Lily glanced back at them, then shifted her eyes to me. "Oh, hey tribal, the boss wants to see ya to." she squinted, "But wash off the paint first. Red told me your one of us now, so try and look more professional." ...said the pony with spikes sticking out of her armor.

"Where should I wash it off?" I asked.

Her response was coupled with a face-hoof. "The Godesses-damned wash trough is right frickin in front of you." So that water was for washing after all. "Just get over to the boss's office when y'all are done." I quickly washed away my marks, and for some reason I felt a little pain when they were gone.

We stood together in Red's office. I hadn't really noticed it before, but now I realized how small it was with four ponies and a big griffon taking up the space. The unicorn twins had donned barding on their way over here, Twoblue armored in combat barding similar to Red's, while Threeblue wore a sleek and stealthy looking polished black one-peice... um, thing. Not quite sure how to describe it but for some reason it didn't seem made for ponies. I was still wearing my leather barding, leaving me as the least protected.

Red cleared his throat. "Well, my little ponies, we've got an order from a client in Violetville for fifty spark batteries. Unfortunately, we don't currently have fifty spark batteries."

"So ya want us to go find some?" Lily interjected.

"Exactly, kiddo." Kiddo? Did NCR ponies... I mean griffons... normally address their employees like foals? "I'm sending the four of you to D.O. twenty-one." My Pip-Buck's map updated to show two small small boxes: one to the northeast of my current location labeled Desert Outpost 21, the other to the northwest labeled Violetville. "An old base like the D.O. should have lots of old sky-wagons and other vehicles to scavenge batteries from."

"Great," Lily replied, "all we need now is a map of the base and..."

Red cut her off. "I don't have that particular map. That's why Fall is going with you." All eyes were on me. "He has one of those old Stable-Tec Pip-Bucks. It auto-maps everywhere he goes." So that was why he hired me. I had a map attached to my leg. Great to know how important I was.

Threeblue gaped at me, entranced by the huge hunk of magical metal on my leg. "Just like the Savior wore..." Who?

"Oh, don't talk about her that way. The Stable Dweller was just a normal pony." Twoblue half-scolded his sister. Huh? Stable Dweller? Savior? Were these ponies cultists or something?

Lily ignored the twins. "So we're supposed to take him along just 'cause he's a walking road map?" she asked Red.

"Correct."

"And what if he dies? Don't those things shut off when the owner dies?"

"I don't know, but if that's the case you'd better make sure he doesn't."

Lily glared a (very attractive) glare towards me. "Y'all'd better stay close. If ya wander off and get killed I'll..." she struggled to find a threat, "...I'll do something, and y'all's ghost won't like it... or something. Ya get the point." Got it: don't wander, don't die. In truth, I hadn't been planning on doing either.

Lily didn't like me much. I could tell. From the way she was never farther away than twenty feet but never closer than five, to how she eyed my pistol constantly (ever since it had been returned to me along with my dynamite) as if she suspected I would whip it out and try to kill all of them. However, I do have to give her credit. Despite her dislike of me and that she was stuck with me as a part of the group, at least she did try to strike up a conversation, albeit one I had pretty much nothing intelligent to contribute to.

"So, tribal, nice pistol ya got there. 10mm Ironshod Fleetwing, right?" she gave the single most awkward smile I'd ever seen, but at least she was trying, right?

"Um, yeah, I guess it's that, Fleet, um, thing." I'd never heard of a Ironshod or Fleet-anything before. To me a gun was a gun was a gun. If you pulled the trigger it went bang. "So, Lily, right? You know a lot about guns?"

"You could say that. I was born in an armory after all." she chuckled a little, leaving me wondering if she was serious or if it was just a poor attempt at humor. Given how strange these NCR ponies had proven to be so far I was inclined to guess the former.

"So how'd you meet Red and get a job with him?" Small talk wasn't my strong suit, evidenced by her immediate change of expression. She looked serious and sad, as if she was recalling something that brought her pain.

She snorted and inhaled. "My parents were raiders in Ponyville. Not like those crazy cannibals in the Hoof, though. Nope just your average everyday psychopath." Insanity was considered normal? "The taught me all the normal stuff little fillies should learn. Shooting, ambushing, torture, castration, more shooting. You know, typical raider shit." She got kinda quiet.

"What happened?" I prompted, genuinely interested.

She stole herself up before she began speaking again. "One night, some crazy mare, out of nowhere, comes in and starts shooting up the town. My dad wasn't as high on Dash as he normally was and had the good sense to hide me in a closet. I thought that since my daddy was big and tough he and the others would just destroy that mare. Nope. Crazy freak killed them all, even Dead-eye Brick-face the fucking unkillable sniper." she sniffed, "Even dad."

"I'm sorry." I really was. I could imagine few things worse than having your family and friends (even if they were psychopaths) killed by some mass-murdering mare.

She brushed her hoof across her face to get a tear she thought I didn't notice. "Oh, don't be sorry. They were real shit-bags. Anyways, this group called the Talons comes through a few days later. Red was one of them. He took me in and raised me. After the war 'tween the 'Clavers and slavers and Rangers, he left the Talons and the NCR and went south. Said it wasn't like he'd hoped. I went with him." The end, I guess. "Funny thing is, though," oh, so not the end, "that crazy mare, turns out she's the one who ended the war and opened the sky. The Stable Dweller."

I think my confused expression spoke for me. I began to open my mouth to ask for more information, but the Threeblue zoomed up to us like a speeding blue bullet.

"Hey, were you guys talking about the Stable Dweller? Cause, you know, that's like my very favorite subject!"

"No." Lily lied, "Besides, shouldn't ya be scouting ahead with that invisible stuff ya do?"

"But that's so boring!" she jumped up and down repeatedly, "What could possibly happen that all of us couldn't see..." a crack sounded and a bullet quizzed past her head, barely missing her, "Oh, fudge."

"Raiders!" Lily yelled, "Take cover, everypony!" She dove behind a large rock (which I noticed, pointlessly, had thin ribbons of iron running throughout it, making me imagine it had been pulled here from Iron Hide for the very purpose of blocking bullets) and motioned me over. Instead, I just stood there. Getting shot was not what I wanted, but I just couldn't move. I stood, facing the ponies who'd opened fire on us, and saw the bizarrely disfigured face of one of the raiders charging towards me with a foot long knife held in her magical glow.

Fortunately, Twoblue leaped out of the ditch he had taken cover in and gave me a swift rear legged kick to the side, sending me tumbling into Lily behind her rock. Twoblue stood firm in front of the raider. His horn cast a glow that wrapped around the charging unicorn's neck, and tightened. He lifted the unicorn in front of him to absorb the bursts of incoming rounds, leading to the death of the crazed pony.

He motioned to Lily who turned to me. "Okay, tribal, here's the plan. I'm going to go out there with Two and start shooting them. Y'all are gonna sneak around behind them with Three and catch 'em off guard. Got it?" Yeah, I think I could manage that (although the thought of killing another pony made my stomach do a few flips). I nodded. She nodded and rolled out from behind cover, chomping down on her rifles mouth-bits repeatedly, sending bursts of gunfire towards the enemy.

I tried to calm my shaking hooves, and rolled out in the opposite direction. Based on my prior experience trying to avoid the Fire Hairs, sneaking was probably not my strongest skill. However, the sound of gunfire was enough to cover my hoof-steps as I snuck around behind the ambushers. They were a very... unclean, group of ponies. Covered in grime and the desert's sand it was impossible to tell their true colors, but I can say that they appeared well armed. One I noticed had a very compact weapon which he fired rapidly and wildly before a burst of rounds courtesy of Lily turned his head into a dark red and grey mush (oh Goddesses, stomach flips...) and also somehow blasting off all his limbs as well. Another was using a large weapon mounted on a tripod which fired even faster and was rapidly tearing through the meat shield. The third was getting ready to sprint forward with a heavy club made of concrete and rods of metal. I only noticed Threeblue when she briefly flashed out of invisibility.

I drew out my pistol, intending to take out the pony on the big gun, and motioned to where I thought Threeblue was to kill the club-mare. Inhaling deeply I tried to steady my aim. From this distance I couldn't miss, right? Wrong, dammit. My bullet missed and just made a hole in the dirt, prompting the raider (whose gender was hard to tell) to spin around the weapon towards me. I jumped out of the way just in time, dropping my pistol, and gave the pony a two hoofed buck to the face, giving me just enough time to notice that our invisible unicorn had severed club-mare's head. The psycho-pony raised itself to its hind leg and stretched out what I suddenly realized were wings wrapped in bandages, launching itself at me. It bit down on my neck and I could feel the blood beginning to rush out. It was getting hard to breath as the insane pegasus was crushing down on my windpipe.

In that moment of terror I felt something. Suffocation. The fear of death was upon me, the sheer panic at the thought of dying. And yet, almost immediately I began to feel peace. For a split second I saw a face haloed by the sun above me: the face of Celestia. Well, that sense of peace ended fast when the head of the pegasus broke open in a bullet induced blast of brain and skull, and I realized that it had been Lily's face in the sun. She kicked the corpse of my attacker off of me and applied pressure to my bleeding throat. Three ran over with a vial of purple liquid which she opened and poured (mostly, her magic was shaking a little) into my gasping mouth. Feeling my skin knitting itself back together was certainly a new experience. Able to breath again after the potion had done its work, I savored the the air I inhaled in deep gulps.

"Wounded on the job, and you almost killed a raider." Twoblue jumped in, "Welcome to the team, Fall."

Footnote: Level Up!

New Perk: Company Pony- You've got a job to do! When doing missions for Waypoint Trading Company you move 5% faster and have +5 DR.

(Credit goes to Kkat for creating the original Fo:E)