…It’s not that I don’t believe my cutie mark is awesome. Hay, I know it’s awesome, and it’s got a pretty sweet story to go with it! I mean, a Sonic Rainboom? Who else can get their cutie mark with an awesome story like that? Not many, right?

So why do I keep leaving out everything except for the race that changed my life? Why don’t I talk about my fillyhood days with Fluttershy anymore?

…It’s because…uh…

It’s because…well…

….It’s because that was the time…I had also become a monster.

I was 7 when I got my cutie mark. In fact, I was the first one in my class to get it, and I felt pride through knowing that it wasn’t easy to top how awesome getting my cutie mark was. It felt so good just to win. But, the biggest worry my dad and I had was the fact that I had caused trouble for Cloudsdale, and that maybe it would affect how the judges saw me when I took my inevitable upcoming flight test.

Every little pegasus was expected to take it. There was no exception, and it was said that whatever the outcome you got would change your life for good. It wasn’t easy to sleep the night before, with that in mind haunting me.

To top off the nervousness, my dad seemed different that morning. Normally he wished me good luck with showers of love and praise, but that day he acted distant. It was like he was hiding something that was caught in his throat. He only waved goodbye to me after dropping me off at the testing area, which I found really weird. In a way, I kinda felt like maybe he didn’t trust that I would make it, even though I found out the real reason why later that day.

The test had pretty much everything to do with basic flying: Pulling up after a dive, going in circles around a bunch of clouds, the works. There was even some kind of obstacle course, too. It wasn’t anything new to me since I had been practicing endlessly and was pretty top notch compared to the rest of pegasi my age.

It didn’t surprise me that much, but I had passed with flying colors. Pfft, flying colors, get it? I crack myself up sometimes…

It was a perfect score, and suddenly everything was right in the world again. My dad rushed up to me and spun me around in his forelegs saying “I knew you could do it, Dashie! You’ve made your dad so proud of you!” or something akin to that. Whatever had bugged dad so much seemed to pass with my resulting score, but all I knew was that it felt so good just to win.

Unfortunately, Fluttershy wasn’t so lucky. She never was the strongest flyer, and it showed in her scores. She had struggled with maintaining flight as she was supposed to pull back up after diving from the launching cloud, and ended up slamming face-first into a mess of clouds below. It wasn’t cool seeing how disappointed she was in herself. I thought that while she did mess up big time, she had the potential to really become stronger if it wasn’t for her silly social anxiety problem. At least back then I just labeled it silly.

I didn’t see the forlorn look in my dad’s eyes until after Fluttershy was led away from the testing grounds by a bunch of other pegasi staff. Normally that’s the last time you ever see a filly or colt who failed, but I wasn’t willing to give up on Fluttershy that easily.

…That’s what I’d like to say, anyway. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what was gonna happen to her, and if my dad wasn’t in charge of that, I probably would’ve never known. After the rest of the flight test results came out, my dad seemed reserved again as he led me to follow him. It was weird to me that we were going the same direction that those who failed, but I was happy to get another chance to see Fluttershy again.

She just needed a few words of encouragement, that’s all.

…Boy was I wrong.

I never understood what being a Superior Supervisor of the Weather Factory of Cloudsdale entailed. I didn’t know what kind of work my dad did. I just thought it had something to do with clouds or something. So, I was pretty surprised when we rode some weird cart thing to the back entrance of the Weather Factory, all of the failures sitting in the back and away from view of the front. I would’ve liked to talk to Fluttershy as much as possible, but dad told me not to open my mouth and to keep quiet for now.

Once the cart stopped, dad got out and lifted me out of the front seat, taking us both inside the back door. It was weird that he would leave Fluttershy and the others out there alone, but I also saw another group of mares and stallions heading out and starting to load the cart inside the factory. So it turned out they weren’t alone.

My dad led me to a room that smelled funny, like a hospital, and then he started putting this weird mask over his face and covering his mane and wings. He even slipped on a coat that hid his awesome prismatic tail. After he did all that, he picked up what looked like a smaller set of the same stuff and held them out to me.

“Here, Dashie. Put these on.” I thought he was crazy telling me to cover my wings as well as my awesome mane. I was always told to be proud of it, so how could I hide it? I asked him why, but that only made him annoyed at me as he pushed the stuff in my direction again, not even bothering to give me an answer.

This wasn’t how Dad usually acted towards me. Figuring I’d best get it over with, I started to put on the funny stretchy fabric: covering my muzzle, over the wings, flattening my mane with a solid white cover. Now I smelled like a hospital. Seeing as how I never grew fond of hospitals, I was feeling pretty grumpy after what should’ve been an awesome rest of the day. But I didn’t want to make Dad madder than he already was, for some strange reason.

“Alright, follow me, Dashie. Your Dad’s going to show you where he works. One day, you’ll be the Superior Supervisor, after all.” My Dad walked out of the room and held the door open for me to make my way out, in all my hospital smelling glory. “What was the point of all of this?” I had asked him being a complete grouch.

Dad simply chuckled as he led me from the back of the Weather Factory to what looked like an entrance into another facility. “Well, Dashie…have you ever wondered where rainbows come from?” I didn’t really like the look he was giving me at that point. He was grinning at me, but somehow it seemed…wrong. Not like Dad at all, but in a way he was still Dad. It was a weird feeling as I simply cocked my head to the side in a state of confusion.

“Uhh…the sky? Duh?” To be honest, I didn’t really know much about rainbows other than the fact that the Weather Factory made all kinds of weather, so rainbows was probably one of them. They poured out into the main part of the Factory; I remembered from a tour of my Dad’s work a year ago. Seeing as how I had already seen Dad’s work, it was kinda creepy that he was giving some kind of display like I was gonna be shocked about how he can calculate how many clouds were needed for the upcoming snow orders!

“Hah, the sky…?” Dad laughed at me for a bit before turning towards the ominous door in front of us. “…You’ll find out soon enough, so…pay attention to what you see. You’ll have to learn its ways, too.” Like that wasn’t creepy, Dad? Thanks a lot. I rolled my eyes as he pulled out what looked like a card before sliding it into the door slot, the freaky door suddenly sliding open on its own right in front of me.

The outside looked pitch black, but I could definitely hear something running in there. Some machine, with its clanging and puffing was at working doing something. I looked up at my Dad once more, feeling a little uneasy about the whole thing. At that moment, I just wanted to be home in my room, with my Wonderbolts collection and cushy cloud blankets. I wished for comfort since my Dad was leading me into some weird creepy place, and I didn’t know what was going to happen to me.

For once in my life, I felt a sense of fear towards my Dad. My Dad, who stayed by my side throughout the pain of growing up without a Mom, who cooked me three meals a day and took time out of his day to just sit around and play with me, despite all the trouble I put him through with my stubborn attitude and habit to get into fights. I had never appreciated it enough.

And I believed I would never appreciate it again.

As my Dad prompted me inside the doorway with his wings, I saw that there was, indeed, a large metal machine inside the area, but there was much more to it than what I saw at first glance. When I looked again, I saw a tube filled with a red vibrant color screwed into the wall of the darkly lit room, going into what looked like another hallway just ahead of the main entrance. Without warning, I started running ahead of my Dad even when he told me not to. I kept my stare on the slushing red liquid that ran through the tube until my Dad caught up with me and held his wing out in front of me. “When I tell you to stop, young missy, you stop! We’re already stalling as it is! I can’t have you running around the Factory on your own!”

I blinked. “So, this is also a factory? I thought the only factory around here was the Weather Factory?” I didn’t know at the time that this was still the Weather Factory; just that it was a place hidden inside it. “And what does this place have to do with rainbows?” I started a slow trot just behind him, making sure we wouldn’t lose sight of each other.

My Dad gave a sigh before looking ahead of the dark hallway in front of us. “…All of your questions will be answered soon, Dashie. Just…hang on for a moment.” Part of me wondered if my Dad was hesitating somewhat as he guided me towards the center of the machine. Dark shadows loomed over us as we passed through another tunnel, the only light being from the tubes full of bright vibrant colors.
“…What is that, anyway, Dad?” I questioned him, my eyes never leaving the tube. “Why does it look so cool?” In retrospect, ‘cool’ was probably not the best word to use for it, but being a filly, I knew nothing about what it was being used for. Dad shook his head as he kept close to my side.

“…I told you, all your questions will be answered in a moment. Right now we shouldn’t delay.” I blinked in confusion before turning my face into a stubborn frown. To be honest, I wasn’t and still am not a fan of surprises. I can’t take it from Discord without freaking out, and generally I don’t like the unexpected…except when it’s me pulling a prank on them.

Then it’s funny.

…But what my Dad was about to show me was nowhere NEAR funny.

Opening what looked like another set of double doors, we walked into the sound of water slushing with the turning of gears, the whirring of a machine coming to life, and a constant clanking sound as gray tables moved in a line in unison. The machine I had saw at the beginning rested here: This was the heart of the tubes of colors. All aligned in a row, I saw red, blue, yellow, green, purple, and orange of the most vibrant depth flowing in their own individual tubes throughout the ceiling, the walls, along the side of the designated walkways…

And the surprising thing about it was the fact that it was the most terrifying yet awesome thing I had ever witnessed. My mouth sat wide open as my Dad simply continued to walk on, as if such a sight was normal to him. “…Dashie…welcome to the Rainbow Factory.” His voice sounded cold and barren, almost tired as I closed my mouth and looked up at his form.

“…The Rainbow Factory? What kinda factory is that?” I frowned towards him, keeping my hooves in one spot. My Dad turned around and was about to answer, but the sudden whirring of a metal door sliding open caught his attention. I felt kinda neglected as he went to go talk with these other ponies all covered up in white hospital stuff, just like we were, so I just kinda swayed in place as I took in my surroundings once more.

Something was coming closer out of those metal doors. Some small bundle lay still on the moving metal table, another coming just right after it in a line. “Hmm…” I proceeded to get closer to the moving table to get a better look at what was there. It was something…small…with wings?

My eyes widened. It was a pegasus colt on that table.

“H-Hey, you okay? Wake up!” I called out to the colt on the table, but for reasons I didn’t know, he wouldn’t budge. His eyes were open, though. Emerald orbs connected with my own rose-colored eyes as my entire being filled up with uncertainty.

He was scared…too scared to say anything back to me.

“Hey! I told you not to run off!” My Dad quickly flew towards me and stood in between me and the table. Honestly, that was an insult, and all I could think at that point was that Dad was in the middle of something bad! “…But Dad, he’s scared! What are you doing to the poor guy?!” I stood up in defiance. There was no way I was going to let him keep on doing what he was doing.

In a way, I had struck a chord. My Dad’s ears folded back a bit before he met my eyes with a face that was nothing like the father that I knew. My Dad was energetic, encouraging, the kind every little filly would want as a dad! Plus, he was a good cook to boot! This stallion was tired, stressed, depressed, and a little coo-coo in the head!

“…Dashie. This is your father’s work. This is what the Superior Supervisor does.” His stance grew firmer than it was. “The Rainbow Factory is a tradition formed by our Commander Hurricane, and passed through our family line since its founding. Currently it is in my hooves, but eventually, you must learn the trade.”

That just made me mad. “So what does some family thing have to do with the poor colt on the table, huh?!” I huffed and glared at him, lowering my head as if I planned to charge him. I felt he deserved it, too. And then he had to drop the bomb on me.

“…Dashie…the purpose of the Rainbow Factory is to produce spectra enough to give rainbows to the whole of Equestria. The reason this colt is here…” I weakened my stance as I saw him bite his lip. “…Is because spectra is the lifeblood of ponies, and it is the most fresh when they are young. We aim for the most fresh because it uses up fewer ponies in the long run.”

I had never heard such sickening words before in my life. “…W-What are you saying…? You’re killing little fillies and colts…? Fillies like me…?” I stepped back from the stallion that I saw as my Dad, terror in my eyes. Our attention was drawn from each other by the whirring of the machine, a deafening scream echoing through my ears as I heard the sounds of bones crushing and grinding together, and I could no longer see the pony that was on the table.

And it tore me apart. I just sat there without a word as another deafening scream rang in my ears, my eyes scarred by the sight of death most gruesome. There were corners of the machine where all I saw was deep red and crushed feathers before it made its rotation, clean as it was before. It was like there wasn’t a pony there to begin with.

I saw a yellow pegasus with a long pink mane appear through the metal doors.

“NO!!! NO!!!” I rushed to the side of the table and forcefully pulled my delicate fillyhood friend away from the horrors of the machine, another colt moving past us to take her place. “YOU CAN’T KILL FLUTTERSHY!!!” My eyes filled up with tears as I held her as tight as I could in desperation. No matter what, I never wanted my Dad to take away Fluttershy. I didn’t want to watch her go through the same horrible death I had seen so many others face.

Dad frowned at me. “…Dashie, she failed her flight test. Unfortunately, that means there’s no purpose for her when she’s alive.” It sounded like some kinda rationality he rehearsed just to be able to explain things to me. It was without feeling. But I wasn’t willing to listen, not to this.

“I DON’T CARE! YOU’RE NOT GONNA TAKE FLUTTERSHY!” I sobbed uncontrollably, my tears matting the side of my friend’s head, but it seemed like she had fallen unconscious. I would’ve been scared too, if I had ever been in her situation. But no, I just had to win. It always felt good to win, even when the prize was to watch the failures die by your own Dad’s hooves. “No…no…no…” My body curled tighter as I tried to shut away the sound of the scary machine, the flowing of the spectra which I thought was AWESOME at first, the screams that bounced off the ceilings and the walls, just…anything to get away from the nightmare that had me.

Dad sat down next to me and gave a deep sigh. “…Dashie…-“

“NO! I DON’T WANNA TALK TO YOU! YOU’LL TAKE FLUTTERSHY AWAY!” I hollered as I shook my head frantically, the tears now rubbing into Fluttershy’s mane. Back then, I wasn’t willing to listen to reason. I wanted nothing to do with my Dad at that moment.
“…Fine.” That one word rang through my ears. Was it a threat? Was he gonna try something else? Throw me into the machine next? I didn’t know the context behind it, so I sat there without a word, my grip on my friend never faltering as I shivered on the cold hard floor of the factory.

Dad winced as his body took a stance of defeat, shaking his own head. “…I’ll let you spare Fluttershy’s life. I’ll tweak her results…but I can’t do anything after that! I can’t spare any more than that, Dashie! Please, understand?” I never did get what my Dad was thinking, trying to reason with a mentally traumatized 7-year old pegasus filly about allowing a bunch of other fillies and colts to be killed in front of her eyes.

And the worst part was that he expected her to do it, too.

…And yet I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Despite all the creepiness, this was still my Dad. “…Okay.” I whispered as my grip on Fluttershy loosened just a bit, before I tightened it again. What if it was a trick? Could I really trust my Dad anymore after all this? My eyes filled with paranoia, and my Dad could see it. With a deep sigh, Dad lowered his head to me and with the most resigned tone I’ve ever heard his voice, he spoke.

“…I pledge by the love I have for you, the love I had for your mother, and everything I hold dear in my despicable life…that Fluttershy will not come to harm. I will not let her fall to the Rainbow Factory. But in exchange, you must be willing to harden your own heart. No pony else shall be spared. We can’t keep making those kinds of sacrifices.” His eyes met mine in a deep desperate gaze. “You must be willing…Dashie…to take the Factory into your own hooves, and to learn our family’s trade.

…What was I supposed to say? I could clearly see the pain in my Dad’s eyes, and he was willing to listen to me. He was willing to spare Fluttershy, and no scream ringing in my ears was worth the pain of ever watching her go through that pain.

…Even my innocence wasn’t worth that.

My rose-colored eyes filled with a new sense of determination. Somehow, amongst all the screaming and the pain…I found strength. “…Okay…” I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. “…I’ll take it, but no matter what…Fluttershy stays out of this! I don’t wanna watch her die! I don’t even want her involved!” I stomped my hoof for emphasis.

My Dad gave a weak smile as he lifted his head. “…You and me both, to be honest…but I’ve got a flight test score to edit, and you’ve got a young filly to take back home. I’ll let the rest of the staff know. Try to slip her into her parent’s house without them noticing you.” He turned away and stopped short. “…From now on, you’re officially one of us. Absolutely not a word gets out to anypony, Rainbow Dash. Or to any other kind of creature, not a soul…” The warning tone in his voice pretty much said it all.

…Every single death that happened in the Rainbow Factory was now officially affiliated with me.

And you know what? As long as Fluttershy was safe from it all, that was okay with me. So long as she didn’t have to face it. As I slipped out of the factory by my Dad’s instructions, I gave a deep sigh as I supported the tired timid pegasus that was resting on my back. Since I was now a staff member, I was given a card key that allowed me to enter or exit anytime I wanted to.

…Maybe I should’ve reported what I saw. Maybe I should’ve brought it up to the Princesses, or to anypony of high authority. But doing that would’ve betrayed the trust my Dad held in me, and really, that’s all I had for family. My Dad was all I had besides Fluttershy. Not to mention the fact that if my Dad and his staff were caught, I’d also be turning myself in to possible execution. I joked about life and death situations with others my age, but in reality it was no joking matter. If I said a word to anypony about the Rainbow Factory, it could eventually decide my own death sentence.

…And so I vowed to myself that I would never say a word. Not to Fluttershy, or to anypony else I would meet throughout my lifetime.

Without a sound, I slipped into Fluttershy’s room through the pink curtained window, and gently settled down my precious friend, her mane sinking into the white cloud covers as I tucked her into bed with a buttermilk blanket.

Fluttershy gave a deep sigh as she felt the comforts of home surrounding her. I bit my lip. She was most likely going to wake up any time soon, and I still smelled like a hospital, so I quickly slipped out of the room, and hid underneath the window just outside. It was muffled, but I thought I heard her yawning as she must’ve lifted herself from the covers, her yellow wings fluttering in a natural motion.

“Fluttershy! There you are!” I heard a stallion’s voice from inside the house; most likely it was Fluttershy’s Dad rushing to her bedside. “How did your test go? Did you pass?” I already knew that Dad had changed the results, and Fluttershy was most likely not going to say anything about it. What she must’ve faced might’ve been too traumatizing to handle.

I heard a weak, timid voice. “U-u-um…I-I…I don’t wanna…I don’t wanna talk about it. I don’t know what my result was. I-I…I left before they could give it to me.” I knew it was a lie, but somehow I expected things would be this way. If something was too scary, you might end up blocking out a part of your memory in order to defend yourself.

Breathing a small sigh of relief, I let out a silent hope to the stars that she would remain oblivious until her test results would reassure her. Then there’d be no reason to worry, and Fluttershy would stay safe. And as long as she passed this hurdle in life without complications, there shouldn’t be any reason at all for her to look back. With that in mind, I made an effort to fly back towards the direction of the Weather Factory, where I knew my Dad was most likely waiting for me.

…If I was to take on the burden of providing rainbows to Equestria, I didn’t want anypony dear to me involved. As soon as I learned my trade, I felt that it should be my burden to carry alone. After all, Dad was obviously hurting inside from having to deal with the weight of the Factory’s actions. If I could take that burden from him…then the only one who would face possible execution would be me. No pony else would have to get hurt.

…All I needed to do was learn my trade, first. I had to harden my heart in the face of death.

My Dad waved at me from the front of the darkened hallway as the doors slid open. It turned out that my card key was working okay, but I already found that out when I was sneaking Fluttershy back to her parents. “Welcome back, Dashie. Did she get to her parents alright?” My Dad’s voice was light-hearted again, and I could see the love and concern he actually held for my friend. He never truly wanted to hurt her.

“…I’m back, Dad. Nopony saw me.” I looked up at him with a small frown, my eyes wavering towards the inside of the factory. “…Can we go home now? I don’t wanna smell like a hospital anymore.” I blinked as my Dad starting laughing, his hoof starting to peel the stuff off of his muzzle, freeing his mane. “…Yeah, we can go home, Dashie. You’ll need your sleep for your training tomorrow. I gotta teach you how to use this stuff.”

I had never thrown anything off faster in my life. “YES!” I proceeded to pull off the white covers that made it harder to fly, the stupid cover that was restricting my mane and making my head itchy, the white stuff on the tail…I was just happy to pull all of that off, and having to chance to embrace my sky-blue rainbow-maned self again. “Those were horrible to keep on! And some of the stuff seemed way too big!”

We continued to laugh as the white covers were put back on the shelf after being sterilized, my little hooves constantly following after my Dad’s. “Yeah, it was pretty horrible. But you gotta put the same stuff on tomorrow, you know.” He grinned as he opened the door outside of the storage room.

I groaned at the thought. “Ugh…but that’s tomorrow! Right now we can go home, and then I want to snuggle with my Wonderbolts plush!” I didn’t care how childish I was being at that time. For one thing, I was 7, and for another, I saw pretty horrible things which put me in a bad mood. Dad just laughed again. It kinda felt good just to laugh. No sinister thoughts, no suffocating desires to win, just…Dad and I having a good time.

We approached our house. As far as locations go, it wasn’t in a bad location. Not too far from the Weather Factory, only a fair distance from the ground (Not as close as Fluttershy’s house), and we even had a shopping department nearby if we wanted to get takeout or Dad wanted to cook something. All in all, it was a sweet pad. Plenty of room for a growing pegasus filly and her father to just chill.

As Dad closed the door behind us once we got in without any annoying factory junk, he took a moment to lean against the door while I quickly put his work bag down and rushed up to the second floor. We had a flight of stairs, but I really didn’t see the point in having them in a cloud house. Then again, Fluttershy uses them often when she comes over to my house. So I supposed there was a good purpose to them.

There was a good purpose in keeping Fluttershy, too. She may not be the best flyer, but she was the first friend I had, and I cherished her for who she was. Nothing should come between that. Not even for the whole of Equestria. Even if the Rainbow Factory needed foals and probably wouldn’t understand it, I held my precious friend close to my heart. I needed her just as she needed me to protect her from all the bad in the world. Just…maybe even now I haven’t expressed it enough.

Heading to my own room and shutting the door behind me, I was greeted with a “poof” sound. That’s…not very satisfying when you feel pretty down and you wanna just shut the world away for the rest of the night. I let out a small whine of frustration as I quickly hopped into the comforts of my own cloud bed, and squeezed the nearest Wonderbolt plush I could find on my bed.

…Wind Rider it was then. Thinking back on it, hugging him shouldn’t have been that satisfying knowing how he really is, but as a filly, I didn’t care if I was crushing him or not. I just wanted some form of comfort from the screams of terror that continued to ring through my head even after I tore the white covers from my wings. It was guilt for what I had seen and agreed to, I was sure of it. For some strange reason, it didn’t feel like I was 7 anymore. I felt tired, stressed, and sick of myself, kinda like my Dad was.

…I didn’t get any sleep that night…Nothing peaceful, anyway. And from that day forward I never did get peaceful dreams. Except when I was lucky enough to get one full of combat. If I wasn’t fighting…I’d usually be crying. The next day was going to be my first day of training, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stomach it or not. My Dad was able to, and part of me thought that mentally I was stronger than him, but even now I’m not so sure.

...I just take each day with a grain of salt.

Author's Note

Testing the waters here. I've been working on this from time to time; I've been pretty busy with school. Please let me know what you think. ^^