A Break From Order

An hour later, Discord sat comfortably on an overstuffed brown couch, set up in place of the throne. On one side of the couch stood Princess Luna with a lampshade on her head, covering her face, still wearing the metallic collar with its chain hanging carelessly. Discord reached over and pulled on chain gently, but nothing happened.

"Ahem" he said, and pulled again.

"This is humiliating," Luna complained, rolling her eyes.

"That's odd, did you hear something, Princess?" he looked down at his side where Celestia was curled up on the couch. She glared at him incredulously, but said nothing. "I think this lamp is broken. Let me try one more time." He gave the chain another tug.

Princess Luna sighed. "Click!" she said, and her horn lit up with a light spell. It flickered a bit as Luna strained a bit to keep the metal from absorbing it.

"Oh good, the lamp does work!" Discord cheered.

"It would work better if thou would remove the collar," Luna offered.

"I do love these Chaos Chains!" Discord said to no one in particular. "It's a pity so few survived the destruction of the Crystal Empire."

"It sure is a pity," Celestia said sarcastically, looking down at her leg, which was still bound to the metal ball on the floor. "So what do you have planned, Discord, King of Chaos?"

"You don't have to be so formal, Celestia. "Your Majesty" works just fine. "my liege" is good too."

"So what do you have planned, "your majesty"?" Celestia corrected.

He reached over to Celestia and pet her gently, running his talon through her ever-waving hair. "Let's see what's on TV, shall we?"

Before Celestia could ask, Discord snapped his lion paw and an over-sized metal box appeared a few feet in front of them. He lifted his lower legs and tail and a table appeared under them as he reclined. To top it off, a bottle of cider appeared in his paw, which he casually drank from. Snapping his talon, the box's front flickered and showed various areas of Equestria in real time.

In Canterlot, upstanding socialite ponies were frantically running away from enchanted flying tea pots and tea cups. The view changed to Appleoosa, where a pink cowpony attempted to water a flower, only to have the water spat back in their face. Then the flower sprouted legs and walk away. It changed again to Shining Armor discussing with three guards their plan of action. In the middle of their chat, one of the guards fell over, revealing that it was in fact a cardboard cutout.

"There's never anything good on." Discord complained, stroking Celestia carelessly, ignoring her grimace. He snapped his talon again and this time the box showed Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rarity walking out of a cave heading down the mountain. "Oh, this looks good!" Discord sat forward and watched eagerly. Luna lifted her head so she could see, and everyone watched the screen intently.

"I'm sure the trains will be up and running soon!" Applejack said loudly.

Twilight Sparkle grunted, carrying a large boulder on her back. "We just talked to the conductor! The trains are down because of all of the engine fuel turned into bubbles! They won't be up for the at least day!"

"I can't possibly wait that long!" Rarity exclaimed. "I need to get this diamond home now!"

"It's not even a diamond, Rarity!" Pinkie Pie yelled. "It's just a big rock!"

"You're just jealous!" Rarity accused. "It's mine! It's going to go in my room! Where none of you can ever look at it!"

"We'll all be so sad to see it go," Applejack said sarcastically.

Fluttershy suddenly darted under Twilight's hooves. She missed her step and fell forward, causing the boulder to fly forward. "Have a nice trip!" Fluttershy teased. "See you next fall!"

"That's not funny!" Pinkie Pie yelped.

The boulder started sliding down the mountain. "No, stop it, stop it!" Rarity used her magic to try to slow its descent. "A little help here?"

"You mean like this?" Fluttershy flew onto the rock, weighing it down more.

"I can help too!" Applejack said, and joining her atop it.

Pinkie Pie jumped up on to it too. "You're really dumb if you think this rock's worth anything."

"Ugh!" Twilight cried, and lifted the boulder with her magic, throwing all the ponies off. "Let's just get home and find the Elements of Harmony."

Discord let out a hearty laugh. "This is hilarious! Twilight Sparkle actually believes that her so-called "friends" will help her use the Elements of Harmony!"

Celestia and Luna exchanged worried glances. Their hopes of saving Equestria lay with Twilight and her friends, and they didn't seem themselves. Celestia decided to be sly about it. She sidled closer to Discord and looked at him. "You know they're going to stop you," she said nonchalantly.

Discord chuckled and waved his talon, causing the word "MUTE" to appear on the screen, and the sound to cut out. "Oh, ho ho! I think not! They abandoned their elements once I told them the truth about each of their elements: sometimes, honesty isn't the best policy, laughter can be cruel, generosity is exploited, kindness doesn't get you far, and loyalty holds you back."

Celestia frowned, surmising the sort of spell Discord had used. "And friendship?" she asked, hoping to coax him out of the rest of his plan.

Discord laughed again, though Celestia thought it sounded a little forced. "Oh, you mean Twilight Sparkle and the magic of friendship? Friendship doesn't have any power! "Friendship" doesn't do anything! After all, I've gotten this far, and I have no friends!"

For a moment, Celestia felt pity for Discord. All alone in the universe, he was one of a kind, and didn't have a single friend. Celestia could relate: without her sister, she had spent the last thousand years in relative solitude, her friendships the only thing that helped her get by. Without friendship, she wondered if she would have been stricken by insanity, as often happened with the old monarchs. What would have happened if Discord had even one friend?

She reminded herself that he did bring it upon himself and Equestria was in danger. Fortunately, she knew now that Discord couldn't stop the magic of friendship because he didn't understand it.

Discord leered at Princess Celestia. "But who needs friends when you have "lovers"?" he asked lecherously.

The words sent shivers down her spine and caused her hairs to stand on end. "But, what of your subjects? Don't you want to watch them wallow in your chaos, your majesty?" Celestia faltered.

"Yes!" Luna piped up, pulling the lampshade back to reveal her face. "I'm sure there the outrageous antics of Manehatten ponies walking on a yellow cake road would tickle your senses!"

Discord spun around and gazed licentiously down at Luna. "I'm done with all this royal work!" he declared. Not breaking eye contact, he snapped his talon, and Luna's lampshade and all the furniture, including the couch he was sitting on, vanished. He remained floating in the air but Celestia fell to the ground with a thud.

"It's time for me to enjoy the benefits of being king!" he smiled wryly, rubbing his hands together. He moved towards Luna, who instinctively stepped back with a look of fear on her face.

"Stop!" demanded Celestia, the fire of the sun in her voice. "You can't have her!"

A look of contemplation crossed Discord's grinning face as he casually glanced back. "And why not?"

"Because it would hurt her!" Celestia declared, trying her best to ignore the weakness of her position. "You promised you would let no other pony come to harm!"

Discord ruminated for a moment before responding. "I guess you'll just have to do double duty!" he cackled, flashing her a fiendish grin.

Celestia pursed her lips. She was thrilled to have protected her sister, but wasn't looking forward to whatever he had in store for her.

It wasn't the pain she feared; she had thoroughly experimented with her senses long ago and knew well that pain was just another intense sensation. The threat of coitus didn't bother her either. In fact, it had been over three generations since she had taken a spouse and she did feel she was overdue for another, though Discord wouldn’t have been her first choice to break her long-standing chastity. She wasn't sure what to expect, but was sure it wouldn't be pleasant. She glared at his ogling mismatched eyes.

"Just get on with it,” she sneered.