A Break From Order

Discord lay down on his side, propping his head up with this talon. He waved his paw and a small bundle of straw wrapped in paper appeared between two of his claws. He breathed fire to light one end and sucked air through the other. “So, Princess Celestia, was that as good for you as it was for me?” he asked brimming with conceit.

Celestia stood up and shook herself off, though some of her lower fur was still matted from their act. The rush gone, her mental fantasy gave way to the dark reality of her kingdom at war. She half-smiled, “there’s no way it could have been better for you,” she said coolly, trying to keep his attention. “I’ve never been taken like that before, and I must say it’s one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Even Luna is jealous.” She pointed at her sister, who glared back at her.

“Flattery doesn’t behoove you, princess,” Discord said, blowing a ring of smoke at her.

“Oh, but I’m serious!” Celestia asserted, “It’s been nearly three hundred years since I’ve had such a great time. Say…” she affected recollection by putting her hoof to her chin, “didn’t you say something about me having double?”

Discord laughed and bit the end off the roll of hay. “Are you really so eager for round two?” His voice was even, hiding his expectations.

“Only if you're ready for me,” Celestia said coyly, turning her head and waggling her eyebrows at him.

The dragonequus tossed the rest of the hay into his mouth and chewed on it while he responded. “Well, I suppose we could go again, but wouldn't that upset your sister?”

They both looked at Luna, who was scowling back. This talk of such intimate acts offended her antiquated sensibilities, but she knew her sister well enough to know she had a plan.

“Thou may do the act again if you must. I shall acquiesce to thy bidding.”

Celestia delighted in her response, and gave a wink to her sister so Discord couldn't see.

Discord also elated, but suddenly shivered. Once it passed, he frowned in thought.

“Are you okay, your majesty?” Celestia asked, stepping forward, reaching her hoof to his side in concern.

Discord's smile returned, though it was unconvincing. “I'm fine, dear Celestia, but I'm afraid that will have to wait for another time.” He began to float, still on his side. “It was a pleasure, ladies, but I must be off. Royal business to attend to. Try not to hurt yourselves!” He snapped his paw and Luna's chain leash connected itself to the ball that weighed down Celestia. He then disappeared into a white star-shaped flash.

The moment he was gone, Celestia stomped her hoof. “Dratt!” she cursed, slumping her posture.

Luna also visibly relaxed, but was still annoyed. “What was all that about?” she demanded.

“What was all what about?” Celestia asked calmly.

“That!” Luna waved her hooves at where they had just done the dirty. “You looked like you were enjoying yourself!”

“I was,” Celestia openly admitted. “it was a lot of fun.”

“But the kingdom! He was just using you like some sort of plaything!”

“I suppose,” she shrugged, “but I was using him too.”

Luna raised an eyebrow at her sister. “What do you mean?”

“It’s only a matter of time before Twilight Sparkle and her friends find the Elements of Harmony. Therefore our job is to distract him until then.”

Luna ruminated on this, concluding that her sister was probably right. “Then, your request to do it again was…”

Celestia nodded. “Just a ruse to keep him here longer.”

“But you were so convincing! You even spilt your royal honey!”

“There was little to be done,” Celestia said. “Resisting would have angered him, so I felt giving him the reaction he wanted was the most pleasant way through. And it was very nice.” Celestia grinned at the memory.

“Right,” Luna eyed her sister, barely grasping her logic. “So what do we do now that he's gone?”

“I'm not sure. I'm concerned that Discord drained the ponies of their elements. If their friendship is allowed to break, they will no longer wield the Elements.”

“Then we mustn't let that happen!” Luna declared. “But how?”

“We need to get to the reading room! From there, I can send Twilight Sparkle a message even without magic.” Celestia charged at the ball and chain, trying to move it again. Luna tried to move the ball by the chain on her neck from the front, but even with the both of their efforts, it barely moved.

“It’s no use!” Celestia cried, exhausted. “It’s magically rooted in place; we can’t move it.”

Luna stamped her hoof in frustration. “By Celestia’s su-” she stopped herself mid-curse, knowing it was rude to say that around her sister. Celestia smiled at Luna, knowing that both of them cursed the other when things went wrong.

At that moment, the door to the chamber opened a crack. Celestia and Luna both looked up, hopeful, to see none other than Philomena, Princess Celestia’s pet Phoenix, fly in.

“Philomena!” Celestia called. “My faithful pet! What happened to the guards that watch over you?” Her mind filled with images of guards running scared from the chaotic laws of physics that were no doubt wreaking havoc across Canterlot. One might have started to chase its own tail while the other one was figuring out how to get down from the ceiling. “No, don’t answer that. Can you break these chains?” she asked.

Philomena swooped down and landed on the chain. She pecked and clawed at it, but could not break through. She drooped her wings, dejected.

“Nevermind that,” Celestia reassured. “Fetch a guard. We need to escape!”

Philomena left and returned shortly with a dark gray stallion wearing the standard-issue yellow armor with his white mane serving as the plume for the helmet. “Your majesties!” he exclaimed upon seeing them, rushing over.

“Bronze Shield,” Princess Celestia addressed the guard by name, “thank goodness you’ve come. Discord has imprisoned us with Chaos Chains. We need bolt cutters to set us free. You should find some in the royal broom closet.”

“Yes Princess!” he saluted, and took off.

“Philomena,” she continued, without missing a beat. “Fly to my reading room and find any letter regarding Twilight Sparkle’s lessons in friendship, and send it back to Twilight Sparkle using the message fire. I shall be there directly.”

The phoenix took off, leaving the two princesses alone again. Bronze Shield returned a few minutes later with the cutters and snapped the chains off. The two sisters lept into action, taking to the air and flying over the many buildings of Canterlot and magically restoring order to the city. Princess Celestia then returned to her reading room to find Philomena had sent not one but every letter from Twilight Sparkle.

She levitated her quill and a scroll and began composing an uplifting letter. To my faithful student Twilight Sparkle and her friends, she began. I apologize for my absence, but-

Suddenly a stream of magic dust flew in through the fireplace and formed a scroll in front of her. A message from Twilight Sparkle! They had done it! Twilight Sparkle and friends had saved the day once again with the Elements of Harmony, and Discord had been turned back to stone. Now all that remained was cleaning up the pools of chocolate rain everywhere.

***

In Celestia’s bedroom, dimly lit by candles, Princess Celestia was tied spread eagle and upright to the ceiling and floor. “Discord!” she shouted.

Discord stepped out of the shadow, holding a riding crop. “Oh, my dear Princess Celestia,” Discord said, his words saturated with contempt. “You still owe me that second ride. You know, the one you enjoyed so much!”

“I just said that to keep you interested!” she spat. “I could barely feel you inside, and I faked it the whole time!”

“Oh, now that’s just rude!” Discord frowned as if he were offended. “I know you enjoyed it the first time, and even if you didn’t, I’ll make sure you do the second…” He stepped forward threateningly.

“Sister, we need to talk,” Luna said, appearing out of thin air.

“Do I get both princesses now?” Discord asked.

Luna rolled her eyes and used her magic to bind Discord’s hands behind his back and gag him with a red ball gag.

Celestia grimaced at the sight of her sister and flushed with embarrassment.

“I know this isn’t the first time either,” Luna said, as if continuing a conversation. “I don’t think it’s healthy.”

Princess Celestia used her own magic to free herself and stood up. “I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said hesitantly. “How goes the night shift?”

Luna shrugged. “It’s a quiet night. Only a dozen nightmares or so. But I’m not here to talk about me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a fantasy,” Celestia immediately defended. “I’m sure you see tons of them.”

Luna nodded. “Yes, but it’s been nearly a year and you’re still dreaming of... him.” They both looked over at Discord, who was still struggling to get free. She looked back at her sister. “I think you have a problem.”

Princess Celestia sighed and Discord faded into the darkness. “You’re right,” she admitted, “I’m obsessed.”

Luna smiled. “I know.”

“No, it’s worse than that. I… I’m thinking of letting Discord out.”

Luna’s jaw dropped. “You’re thinking of what?”

“Not just for the sex!” Celestia put up a hoof defensively. “I’ve been thinking about Discord’s character. He has always kept his word, and nopony was hurt under his rule.”

“But he always twists his words so they might as well have been lies. And it cost hundreds of thousands to repair his damages!”

“All we need is for him to sign a contract created by some legal ponies. And yes, there were a lot of damages, but Equestrian economy has been booming with new ideas growth in the millions because of him.”

Luna pursed her lips. “Even if he did sign such a contract, the financial gain would worthless if he returned to power. Why risk it?”

Celestia's face turned grim. “Our kingdom is woefully lacking defenses against chaos magic. If he were an ally, he could help protect us from our enemies.”

Luna frowned. She knew her sister was referring to Tirek, an evil creature rumoured to have escaped Tartarus just a few months earlier. Given his cruel nature, Luna would choose Discord's rule over Tirek's any day. She grimaced, understanding her sister's point of view.

“I suppose the security of the kingdom is a valid reason,” Luna agreed reluctantly. “But I'm still not sure.”

“Neither am I," said Celestia, “that’s why I hadn't brought it up yet.”

The two sisters stood silently in the darkened dream bedroom for a moment when an idea came into Luna's head that was so pervasive a cunning grin spread across her face.

“Perhaps I can ask him, before we free him from his stone prison.”

Luna turned to leave, but then wondered about what Celestia was going to dream about after she left.

“You, um, haven't dreamed about me and Discord, have you?” she asked awkwardly.

Celestia giggled. “And let you have all the fun? Never!”

“Okay, well, sweet dreams, sister!” she said as she stepped outside the dream.

Celestia turned to see both Discord and Luna step out of the shadows. “I guess there is a first time for everything,” she shrugged and smiled.