Haymaker

“WHAT THE HOLY FLYING FEATHER WAS THAT?!?” Rainbow Dash screamed after an interminable amount of time, almost out of her mind with fear. Applejack, however, quickly composed herself, and wrapped a hoof around Rainbow’s shoulders to steady her.

“Easy there, sugarcube, don’t be losin’ yer nerve now.  I’m…I’m sure there’s some e-explanation fer that there uh…fancy light show… right, yer majesty? …yer…majesty?” Applejack turned to look at the alicorn, but was shocked to see her lying on the floor, unmoving. “PRINCESS!!!”

Applejack immediately roused the dazed noble, pulling her to her hooves, and brushing the hair from her eyes. “What in Tartarus? How’d I get on the floor?” Everypony in the room pointed at the bedridden creature. Cadence walked slowly over to it to investigate.

The many bruises that purpled the being’s hide before were completely gone. There were no more cuts, or any sign whatsoever that he was ever injured, save for a lightly glowing scar on the back of his wrist, where the blood pact had formed.

“DOCTOR! GET IN HERE, QUICK!” Cadence shouted, almost slipping into her Royal Canterlot Voice as she did so. The unicorn doctor rushed in, skidding to a halt next to the bed.

“What? What happened?…How did this happen? *sigh*…your majesty, I must check the patient’s condition; please give me a moment.”

Shining and Twilight chose that moment to come stampeding into the room, shouting and panicking. Cadence picked them both up, holding them upside down to get their attention. “Please stop shouting in the hospital.” she hissed. “Why are you two running around like your tails are on fire?”

“Shining started levitating into the air, the love spell used on the changelings discharged WITHOUT YOU, and then he was knocked unconscious! And… it felt like…felt like…”

Words failed the little librarian, leaving her brother to finish. “Like when I got my cutie mark. Or when Twily was born, or when I first met you, or finally said ‘I Do’ to you. Same feeling.”

The princess smiled softly. “I think I felt the same thing. It was coming from our guest here. And…somewhere else, I think.” She turned back towards the bedridden visitor, being poked and prodded anew by the good doctor. “I think there’s more to this stranger than meets the eye.”

The doctor finished his examinations, and turned back to the group. “Well, he’s in tip-top condition. I daresay he may be walking out of here tonight, Celestia willing.”

Shining nodded sharply plopped down on the floor. “And I’ll be here when it does.”

Twilight’s face fell when she heard her B.B.B.F.F. launching himself into his work again.

Cadence gave him a sad look. “Honey, I already told you. I’ll be here if it does wake up.”

Shining stubbornly shook his head and stomped a hoof. “I left for a minute, and nearly exploded. Not gonna happen again.”

Cadence’s sad look turned withering instead. “Shining, there’s nothing you could have done, there was nothing I could have done, there was nothing the Elements could have done, and if it happens again, we still can’t do anything. So go spend some time with your sister and RELAX.”

The emphasis- and venom- she put into each syllable of the last word slightly frightened her husband, who eagerly complied with her wishes. “…Hey, Twily, how’s about you show me where you’re living nowadays?”

The purple unicorn giggled, her fears and pessimistic fantasies slowly beginning to melt away at the prospect of finally catching up with her brother. The two unicorn siblings slowly (and somewhat grudgingly) departed the hospital. Whatever pressing or alarming questions they had about the stranger, they would soon get straight from the source.

Cadence also turned to the now-assembled remaining elements of harmony. “Something tells me that this creature is not a threat. That it is more…frightened, and probably culture-shocked, than outright hostile. Here, watch.” she said, lighting up her horn. The other girls suddenly blinked in unison as a pink heart entered their vision, fading to black and breaking in half.

“What in tarnation was that?” Applejack breathed.

“That will be the signal for running to the hospital with elements blazing. Me, Twilight and Shining have had it in place since we were little. If any of us is knocked senseless, or…worse…then you should see the signal, and immediately gather together. It will point you straight to whoever’s downed. So…you should return to your regular business, and…I’ll be here.”

The girls (and Big Macintosh), with no small amount of trepidation, walked slowly out of the room. All except Rarity, who walked briskly, stiffly and almost robotically, from the room to the elevator, through the gift shop and the lobby, then finally out the doors, only to bolt like Cerberus itself was hot on her hooves.

She swiftly made her way to Sweet Apple Acres, where her sister was being watched over, alongside her two friends, by Granny Smith. “Well, howdy there, Miss Rarity! How are ya doin’ this fine day?”

Rarity quickly turned and jabbered out an answer for the elderly mare. “Oh, just marvelous, Granny Smith! Just coming to pick up Sweetie Belle, do you know where she is?”

Granny paused for a moment with a hesitant “Err, uh…” then pointed shakily towards the back of the house. Rarity nearly vanished in a puff of unicorn-shaped smoke as she sped around the corner, snatched Sweetie mid jump-rope-jump, and flew back to the Carousel Boutique, a quick spell locking shut every opening in the building as she hid inside her walk-in closet, hugging her sister and rocking back and forth.

“Wha-Rarity!!!” Sweetie Belle whined, “What are you doing?! Lemme go!” she whined as she squirmed slightly.

“NO! Just…please…I-I need you here…please…” she wept quietly, burying her face in Sweetie’s mane.

Sweetie Belle listened to her sister’s meltdown, looked around awkwardly, then repositioned herself to wrap her forelegs around Rarity. “Okay…hey, is this about the…” she trailed off.

Rarity assumed she meant the alien, and nodded into her mane. Sweetie closed her eyes and sighed, and the two unicorns spent quite a while continuing to comfort each other.

*

Finally some peace and quiet…now maybe I can hear myself think. Princess Cadence sat down at the creature’s bedside, becoming aware of the regular snoring noises. At least one of us is getting some sleep. She gazed at the larger creature in wonder, levitating a clean cloth and pitcher of water over, and starting to clean some of the dirt off of it’s face.

She lifted a hoof to brush its fur out of its face as she cleaned, and nearly jumped out of her skin when the creature, eyes still closed, reached up and grabbed her forehoof, blinking the dazed sleep out of its eyes. “W-what…hit me…truck…?” he released her hoof, letting the princess back away slowly, wings fanning open in a fearful gesture.

The creature sat up, rubbing its head and eyes, as Cadence simply stared at the being. It looked up slowly, its eyes focusing on her, then slowly widening. “Oh, damn. I thought I was dreaming.”

“I…well, you…um…are not. If I may ask…what are you? And why are you here? And where did you come from-” Cadence asked, rapid-fire.

“Whoa, whoa…who- or what- are you?” he asked, confused.

Her eyes narrowed in irritation, and she stated bluntly “The regent ruling over this kingdom. The one whose job it is to make sure new, exotic species aren’t a threat too their surroundings, and deal with them, if they are.” she left the threat hanging in the air, and crossed her hooves, waiting for a response.

The creature looked around the room, unmoving, then gulped audibly. “I…come in peace?”

*

I wonder what’s going through her head right now, I thought as I watched the…horse-thing-with-wings-and-a-horn stare at me. Her eyes had gone from ‘big and soulful’ to ‘tiny pinpricks’ at my rather cliché response.

“…You…are an alien…”

I nodded quietly. “I…assume so.”

Her eye twitched. She remained quiet for a few more seconds, then let out an ear-bending squeal, throwing her hooves to her head. “Why did my aunts have to go on vacation the ONE MONTH WE MAKE *FIRST CONTACT?!?!***”

I was now huddled as far away from her as I could. “Whoa! You don’t have to shout!”

She was pacing now, and chattering so fast I couldn’t even see her lips. I scooted to the edge of the bed and, watching her a moment longer, put my fingers in my mouth and whistled sharply.

She immediately snapped to attention. “Wha…w-what?” she whimpered.

I slowly lowered myself to the floor, sitting cross-legged, head bowed and palms upward in a gesture of supplication. She slowly approached me, removing her fancy horseshoe- thingy and putting her hoof in my hand. I gently squeezed, looking her in her eyes. “Look, to the extent of my knowledge, one moment I was standing on my planet; the next, I was walking through some kind of rift, and wound up on yours. This wasn’t planned, we weren’t aware of you beforehand, and I am literally the farthest thing from a governmental representative you can get. I don’t know if there are any other humans who made it through, and there is no conceivable way for me to return to my planet.”

I didn’t mention that it was probably destroyed. She had enough to worry about without throwing me a pity-party. “Whether either of us likes it or not, I’m here to stay. I don’t have any weird or dangerous abilities, no weapons, and I really don’t have any goals beyond food and shelter.”

I must have said something offensive, because she jumped back, flaring her wings out angrily. Are you kidding me? What did I say?! “You’re lying! I found that blade! You’ve used it to kill something, haven’t you?”

“WHOA, whoa! How did- okay, fine! When you’re living on the streets, sometimes wild, rabid animals try to kill you! And running isn’t always an option! …How would you even know something like that?”

“I have my ways…what did you mean living on the street?”

I scratched the back of my neck; I really had hoped to keep my vagrancy under wraps, but she had forced my hand. “…I’m really not proud of this, but for the last five or six years of my life, I’ve been a…drifter of sorts. My last house was in the middle of the quite-large continent, in a…territory…called Kansas. I walked over fifteen hundred miles to get to the city I was living in right before I came here. I had no money, no friends, no family. And sometimes, the only food I had was whatever vermin I could catch.”

If lying about my switchblade had almost killed peaceful relations, talking about eating rats probably nuked them. The Regent looked sickened and terrified as she ran over to a waste bin and threw up. Even though horses can’t throw up. Makes just as much sense as anything else.

“Yeah, I threw up the first few times, too. But I’d rather not starve to death, and my people are…selectively charitable. I didn’t have another food source for the longest time, and no-one was going to help me but me, so I fought and scraped and struggled to get by. I’m sorry that my desperation offends you,” I finished bitterly. Maybe guilt tripping would save me. Fingers crossed.

She just stared at me, horror (and…sadness?) still crossed her face, but she looked somewhat sympathetic. “I- *glk* I’m sorry…I didn’t know anypony lived so harsh a life…I’d never even conceptualized something so sad. Our people wouldn’t hesitate to help out anypony else, especially if they had nowhere to live.”

She looked curious for a moment, putting her hoof to her mouth. “But…if you had no money, how could you afford that music box? It looks so advanced…”

“…What, my iPhone? It was a gift from my mother, right before my…before I became homeless. I never got rid of it, even for money, because…I guess I can’t go a whole day without music. That’s also why I have a-” My eyes went wide as I came to the realization that I no longer was in possession of my acoustic guitar. “Aw, my guitar! I can’t believe I left it behind! I’ve had that since San Diego!”

“What’s a guitar?”

“It’s a musical instrument. Strings over hollow wood.”

“Oh! Like a cello! Are you a classical musician?”

I looked at her skeptically. How would you even play a cello with hooves? “Okay, first of all, a cello you saw…a guitar you pick, or pluck. Second, I’m more of a jazzman myself. You…do have jazz, right?”

She nodded, a smile crossing her face. It. Was. Adorable. “We found a large case with what looked cello-shaped, as well as some weird looking saddlebags near Carousel Boutique, so we brought them with us. Your guitar should be among them!”

I nodded once, immensely grateful. “Thank you. It was given to me by someone very important, I’m glad no-one took it.”

“…Are you really that cynical? Do you trust nopony at all?” she asked quietly.

I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I lifted my shirt up on the left side to reveal a long gash right over my heart. “This is what I got the first time I trusted someone…my seventh night on the streets. A businessman, he invited me into his house for the night, and even though I was wary, I was also starving and freezing. I got a meal, and as I was standing up, offering to do the dishes, he rammed a knife in my chest. Blade came a centimeter from my heart. He smiled as he drew it out, slowly. Not a manic, wild-eyed kind of smile, just a content, happy one. I asked him why with all the breath I could muster. And do you know what he said?”

Her face was surprisingly unreadable at this point. I decided to continue, regardless.

“He said it was because I trusted him. Because my world was not the kind of place to warrant trust. He said it as though instructing a small child, and then guided my fumbling feet to the door, all gentlemanly-like, and ‘kindly’ helped me down the steps. He waved goodbye I staggered out into the rain, then he closed his door and-presumably-went about his business as usual. Whatever that is.

“Bastard never stopped smiling. After I collapsed, a passersby  got me to a hospital, where they spent the next four months saving my life. Then they threw me back onto the street, knowing I couldn’t possibly pay them. Not only did the police never catch this guy, they never even looked. I do trust people, I’m not completely hopeless…but it takes a while.”

She stood placidly in front of the door for a moment, then said- stiltedly, I might add-, “Ex…scuse me…for…a…mo…ment…” then walked haltingly out the door and into the bathroom next to my room, and began to vomit again, loudly this time.

At least, I hope to god it’s a bathroom, or the other patients just woke up to a nasty surprise.

The dry-heaving slowly began to turn into sobbing, then all out wailing, and I awkwardly sat there and listened. Really nothing better to do, I guess. I looked out the window and noticed that it was almost nightfall.  How many days I had been here, I had no idea. But I did know that I was ravenously hungry. The pink unicorn-Pegasus hybrid returned, eyes bloodshot and cheeks tearstained. These creatures are so empathic and sensitive…and kind of sheltered. I really need to tone it down with the drama.

“…I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would react that way. I…guess my skin’s gotten thick to the point of being numb. I’ll warn you the next time something I say could be…unnerving.” she walked up to me and gazed forlornly into my eyes, then threw her forelegs around my neck.

“I don’t know if you believe me, but you’re safe now.” she sniffed. “We’ll show you that this world is worth trusting.” She let go and backed up, wiping her eyes. “I’ll start by granting you permanent sanctuary. And my sister-in-law will most likely be housing you indefinitely. She’s most likely going to want to study you, too. Nothing invasive, though.”

I nodded sharply. “I suppose it’s understandable; of course you’d wanna study the first and only alien you’ve ever seen…but turnabout is fair play, so…”

“Well, you’re in luck: she runs a library. You should find that knowledge is not something we squander here in Ponyville.”

I snorted derisively. Then I took a look at the serious look on her face, and immediately regained my composure. “Oh my god you’re serious.” I said softly. I cleared my throat and tried to save face: “Um, right. Okay. So…should we get going before it gets too late? I don’t think the doctors OR the patients would think this a calming, healthy atmosphere- what with having a space alien hanging around.”

She nodded. “I think, though, that you should probably stick close to me, and don’t move around too much. Look really passive.”

I gave her a thumbs-up, then realized she probably has no idea what that meant- having no thumbs and all- and instead just resumed nodding. We walked to the elevator, and as we rode down, I came to a sudden realization.

‘Anypony’?