The Call of the "Other" Cuties

The only thing they remembered seeing last, was a whirling cataclysm, and purple lightning for whatever reason. They had soon flown out of the vortex and into what seemed to be dusty damp cobblestone. Feeling dazed but still conscious, Gangsta Bloom musteres up the strength to speak. "*COUGHCOUGHCOUGH* Whar the heyk arh we?" Her eyes squinted to get a better look at her surroundings. They would have been in pitch black darkness, if it weren't for some eerie candles. From what she could see, they were in a cellar of some sort, but bigger. Much bigger in fact, than she had ever seen before, even after that one assignment where she had to steal-er intercept a large shipment of Morningstar alcohol rations, located in a desecrated old manor, something out of place in the blue-collar town of Steelport. She was looking around the dark room, until a glint of metal caught her eye. She stumbled over to the glinting alloy, and found a sign. But it was not the sign that intrigued her, it was what looked to be, bizarre gold bound letters on the sign, written in something that was written in english, but in another language, one that she had never seen before. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn the sign read. Suddenly she heard shuffling noises behind her, but then she remembered that she had forgotten her friends. walking over to them, it seemed like they hadn't been effected much by the impact, except that Sweetie Bot was glowing purple, the same color as the Stygian lightning in the vortex. "Scootachicken and Sweetie Bot are you alright?" Coughing from the vile stench of mildew, Scootachicken answered, "I think I'm okay, but I'm cluck not sure about Sweetie Bot." They both turned to face Sweetie Bot, the robot occasionally surging purple power. "Hey Sweetie Bot, can you hear us?" no response. "HEY SWEETIE BOT, WAKE UP." no response. "IF YOU CAN HEAR US SWEETIE BOT, CLUCK WAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUUP" Still no response. "Agh, what are we going cluck to do Gangsta Bloom?" "Well, we definitely AHRNT following ahny ohf your plahns agin." As the two argued, the seemingly broken robot began to rise. Her eyes began to glow, and then she spoke. "Vrrrrrzzzzzzt-thezzzzzrrrrrt-brzzzzeoldoo-krzzzzzzoneszzzzzzz-zzzzzrttttbayzzzzzzt-zzzzzzzzforzazzzzzz-zzzzrtzzrzzrzztrztzzrzztrzrzrzrzrzrzrztrrrrrrrrrrrr-" and with a voice very unlike her own, she said, "SOUUUUULS" with an echoing boom. Well, that was certahnly weird nahw, huh?" Gangsta Bloom said. "Shame that it looks liyk Sweetie Bawt cahnt talhk properly." "Looks whos cluck talking." Again, they started arguing, but then they heard a distant noise, something that sounded like...chanting. "Whar ees thayt omminus saund commin' from?" "I cluck belive that it is coming from down that long cluck corridor." The three crept along a darkened wall, and slowly, a whole audience of what appeared to be robed beings came into view. They were performing some sort of arcane ritual, as the three looked on with awe. The climax of the ritual was reached and finally, a solitary being stepped forward towards a large stone slab and spoke. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" after that, he raised a old battered tome skyward, its pages flipping on their own, stopping on a single page. He then placed the book onto a podium which locked the book in place. Suddenly, there was a big earthquake, violently shaking the entire room, which caused Gangsta Bloom to lose balance and step on Scootachickens hoof, causing a loud squawk, which attracted the attention of the cultists. "WHO WOULD DARE DISRUPT OUR RITUAL" But that was the least of the trio's problems. The cultists' attention was diverted towards the stone slab which was rupturing from top to bottom. There was a long silence, and then the rocks burst forth from the wall, causing a huge dust cloud. Once the cloud had faded, the trio saw something they could not even comprehend. A green behemoth with a tentacled face and wings, it easily dwarfed the remains of the stone slab. It then proceeded to teleport cultists left and right. "Scootachicken, being teleported is nice and all but for one, we don't even know where he's teleporting them, and two, hes Cthulhu, who will make us insane if he cant teleport us, so i bet you have a good idea on what to do." "Act like cluck hooligans?" "yup" So then, they proceeded to act mentally ill so Cthulhu wouldn't teleport them. When the last cultist was teleported, Cthulhu took flight, and smashed through the stone ceiling, causing water to quickly rush into the room. "What are we gonna do now cluck Gangsta Bloom?" "GRAB THAYT NECROMICON" Gangsta Bloom rushed over to the book and looked at the page. "Teleportation Spell" it read. "errrr, my mama makes cornbread and washes the dishes?" After the last word was spoken they were teleported into a land they so desperately wanted to reach...