The Life and Times of a Substitue Teacher

Chapter 4: The Letter

It's finally Friday! Ever since your little explosion on Tuesday the whole class seemed to come to order, except the occasional incident with Tiara and Spoon, who were still bitter about getting in trouble. You had managed to run through much of what Cheerilee had planned for the first week, and you were getting a few more questions from the kids, but there was still a very tense atmosphere in the room.

Right now you were finishing up a lesson on basic physics, acceleration to be precise. The class seemed to be taking it well, especially when you picked up Scootaloo's scooter and used magic to demonstrate with it, namely by making it suddenly fly across the room after you had told them that acceleration is the act of gaining speed. As you wrapped up the lesson you heard on of the ponies say, "Ow!", so you turned around and saw Applebloom pull a note out of her hair. Without warning you pulled it away from her and read it to yourself.

"Who wrote this?!" you demanded, receiving scared looks from almost everypony, "Tiara, Spoon, did one of you write it?"

"It was her idea, she told me to get it passed to Applebloom" Spoon said, still grinning like an idiot.

"Did you read what it says before you sent it?"

"No, I knew whatever Diamond Tiara wrote down would be something I would write down as well"

"Perfect, that means both of you are bringing your parents here after school tonight for another chat" you said while putting the note in your bag, "Also, class dismissed, you can all head home now. Have a fun weekend!"

As you headed out the door you noticed three little fillies standing off to the side. "What are you guys still doing here, shouldn't you be out trying to get your cutie marks right now?" you asked.

"Well, we, uh, wanted to see the note that you took from Applebloom" Scootaloo said sheepishly.

"Sorry, but that note is for my eyes only, it's not something a filly should read, let alone write!" you said while trotting away from them, "I don't even use some of the words she used!"

"Wow..." Sweetie Belle said, realizing how bad the note must be.

"Yeah, what she said," Scootaloo said, "Oh, and can you help us today?"

"Maybe after I meet with Tiara and Spoon's parents, but what would I be helping you with anyways?"

"Getting our cutie marks, duh!" Scootaloo said while getting on her scooter.

"Well, if I make it out before dinner time I'll help you guys," you said as the other two got into the cart that was attached to the scooter, "See you at home Scootaloo"

_________________________________________

"Oh, how lucky am I! Both sets of parents showed up at the same time!" you said gleefully as both Diamond Tiara's and Silver Spoon's parents showed up at the school house.

"So what is this about, hmmm?" Filthy Rich said while fixing his suit, "Some of us have work you know"

"Yes, you do have work to do, especially with raising you kids" you said, now sounding very serious, with a side of condescending, "Now if you'll come in, I'll read you the note they made"

As you brought them in you made sure to let Silver Spoon's parents know she didn't write it, but said she would agree with it because it came from Diamond Tiara. "Now, I hope you guys are ready, because this gets very vulgar as it goes on. Just a little heads up"

After clearing your throat you began;

"Dear Applebloom;

Me and Silver Spoon would like you to know that we still think you're an inbred hick. Actually, no, we think you're a retarded inbred hick who can't do anything right. You had to get protection from the teacher and your friends, you couldn't even hit me after what I called you. We both agreed that you are a lowlife pussy who can't defend herself for shit, and we believe you should just go kill yourself. It would make everypony's lives so much better, especially your family's, because then they wouldn't have to worry that their stupid ass sister might choke on her tongue and die. We're not joking by the way, no one loves you, not even your family, so you really should just go kill yourself, since all you are is a retarded inbred hick coward that can't do a single fucking thing.

Sincerely,

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon"

After you finished you burned the note with your magic and looked towards the faces of the parents that sat in front of you. Silver Spoon's parents had looks of pure disgust on their faces, but Diamond Tiara's parents looked as though they were proud of their daughter's writing.

"How can you look happy after hearing the horrible things your daughter wrote down?" you asked Filthy, who was very close to smiling.

"Well, I know it sounds bad with the words she wrote, but I agree with everything she said in that letter" he responded, sounding very proud of his daughter. His response ended up rewarding him with the gift of 4 ponies looking at him in pure disgust. Spoon's parents simply stormed out of the school house, and were soon followed by Tiara's mother. In his pride Filthy had closed his eyes, and when he didn't hear the sound of clapping that he was expecting he opened them, only to very quickly bolt out of the room after his wife.

After a few minutes of silence you turned to grab your bags. "Just so you three know, you definitely don't have cutie marks in being sneaky" you said as you headed out the door.

"Aw man, I thought we had you fooled" you heard Scootaloo say as she climbed out of the bushes.

"Sorry for spying on you" Sweetie Belle said while looking at the bush.

"Did she really write all that?" you heard a depressed Applebloom ask from the bush.

"Sadly, yes, and I plan to show Celestia that letter tomorrow"

"But you burned it, and even if you hadn't, how you would you get it to Celestia?" Aplpebloom asked while coming out of the bush, her sadness destroyed by her curiosity.

"Well, for one, that letter was a copy, the real one is still in my bag," you said while pulling out the real note, handing it to Applebloom to prove it, "and second, I have old favors that I can call on so that Celestia will see this"

"Who would you know that would mean Celestia's gonna see this?" Scootaloo asked, doubting you.

"Lets just say Twilight is one of my less famous friends"

_________________________________________

After taking Applebloom and Sweetie Belles home, you began to make your way home, accompanied by Scootaloo. As you got close to the house you could sense that Scootaloo wanted to ask you something. "What is it Scootaloo?"

"Oh, uh, nothing, just thinking about the note, that's all" she answered honestly.

"Well, try not to think about it, that kind of writing could corrupt your young brain"

"No, I was thinking about how you said you would get it to Celestia," she said when you got to the door, "I mean, you said Twilight was one of your less famous friends, what did you mean by that?"

"Well, it quite simple really. I used to live in Canterlot, I even taught there for a while, and when you live there you meet some fairly influential people"

"Like who?"

"Well, you know Twilight's brother right?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"I was his best friend in school"

"Whoa..."

"Do you know who Spitfire is?"

"Yeah, the captain of the Wonderbolts!"

"I dated her for a year back in high school"

"WOW!" Scootaloo yelled, her jaw almost hitting the floor, "How did you get so close with ponies like them?!"

"I was a pretty cool colt back in school, so having cool friends was just something I was allowed to have, sorta like my ability to tell Filthy Rich off" you said with a chuckle, "Either way, off to bed, it's late and you'll need lots of energy for whatever you and your friends end up doing tomorrow"

Without saying a word Scootaloo headed off to her room, and you headed to your study. It was time to think of a plan. You knew Twilight would go along with it, but who knows if she'll actually send it to Celestia, and with that you decided she would be the last ditch option, just in case your other favors don't work out. Now, who to ask first, you could ask Shining Armor, Spitfire, Soarin, and even Princess Luna, but who could you ask first?

After a few minutes of thinking you stood up up and made your way to bed, "Ah screw it, I'll figure this out tomorrow, for now, well deserved sleep..."