Starlight Glimmer is Forced to go to a Tea Party

When Starlight Glimmer reached the dirt path leading to Fluttershy's cottage, she had calmed down exponentially. She had taken a few breaths, counted to one-hundred, and played 'Cupcake Crush'. On the path, she noticed some birds. She saw that they were all red, and therefore, equal.

"Hello little birds! Do you like to sing?"

One of the birds shook his head 'Yes' in reply. Starlight then promptly began to sing 'Our Town'. The birds, not knowing the true meaning of the simple, yet catchy tune, followed suit. Soon, a plethora of singing erupted through the forest.

Then she heard it.

The most dreaded of all noises.

One of the birds, had sung off key.

"Who the bucking hell was that?!?!?! When I find you, I will gouge out your eyeballs, and shove them down your throat, so you can watch me gut you like a bucking deer!!!"

The flock immediately scattered at the sounds of pure unbridled rage that emanated from the furious pony. Some unfortunate souls were shot down, and drifted to the ground in glowing piles of ash. When the remaining birds escaped from the murderous equine, Starlight focused her gaze towards the path. She pulled out her mobile phone (She stole it from twilights human artifacts) an began to play Cupcake Crush. She continued towards the cottage.

When Starlight Glimmer had arrived, Fluttershy was already waiting at the door. Without a word, Starlight Glimmer waltzed in, sat down on the sofa, and smiled.

"Um... Hello Starlight... I made you some cheese and crackers... I hope you like them..."

Starlight lifted one of the crackers and placed a bit of the cheese on the cracker. She had no clue what then cheese tasted like, but tried her best to be polite and not ask.

"Thank you dear! I most certainly enjoy sacks such as this. Come, sit next to me will you?"

"Um... Ok then..." Fluttershy half whispered. She came over and sat cautiously next to Starlight. Starlight gave her a sweet, innocent smile before taking a large bite out of the cracker. She began to chew, making it clear how much she was enjoying the cracker. She took another bite, this time, with some cheese.

"BLEUGH! What the hell is in this?! Are you trying to poison me!?"

"What?! No! I... I would never do something like t-that! It's just goat cheese! I-I swear! Please don't hurt me..."

Starlight Glimmer cleaned herself off as quickly as possible. "I'm so sorry Fluttershy! I just never tried goat cheese before, and I thought it was just White Equestrian! I'm so sorry..."

Fluttershy released a sigh of relief and smiled daintily. "Apology accepted!". The Rest of the animals that were to attend shortly arrived, and soon afterwards, the tea was brought out. Fluttershy had spared no expense In the production of the tea. Fresh tea leaves, grown only in the rich soil of the everfree. The cups were of the most beautiful ceramics. Even the biscuits were prepared with the most delicate care.

"Alright everypony, I have prepared 3 cups for all, a biscuit, and a special surprise for dessert. I hope you all enjoy!". Fluttershy began to distribute the fist round of tea, Green with peach, and lemon. Starlight dipped her biscuit into the tea and bit down. Her mouth exploded in an orgy of flavor. The biscuit was just right, and the tea complimented it perfectly. Once the first round was finished, Fluttershy brought out the next round.

This time, the brew consisted of jasmine and mint. Once distributed, the other animals blew on their cups, due to the heat rising out of the drink. Not Starlight Glimmer though.

She expected it to be the same temperature as the first round, but had neglected the fact that jasmine was to be drank hot, despite herself having exponential knowledge on tea brewing. She drank, and drank, until her cup was empty. She smiled, the red tint spreading across her face, her tongue begging for something cool. She would get her wish in but a moment.

Fluttershy came out with the final round. This time, she brought out a pitcher and an assortment of different sized glasses for the animals. She set the tray down and poured some of the tea in each glass. "This... is plain iced sweet tea. I decided that this woul-" She was cut off by Starlight Glimmer, who grasped the last of the pitcher in her magical aura and downed most of the pitcher before setting it down. Fluttershy, along with the rest of the animals present were shocked to see this sudden change in behavior. Fluttershy apologized for her guest's sudden outburst and flew into the kitchen, where the sounds of subtle profanities could be heard. She came back out with a silver platter with a tall dome covering the treat within.
"This..." she said, lifting the dome, "is a lime gelatin carrot cake with French vanilla infused swirls. hope you all enjoy...".. She cut eight pieces out of the cake and gave one to every guest, including herself. Once they were all seated, they began to eat. Starlight couldn't help but notice that the squirrel had a slightly larger piece than her.

"Ahem... Fluttershy?" She whispered. "I think you made a mistake...."

"..,And then I said to the cow, "I don't want milk, I want..."

"Fluttershy, dear?"

"...Then she began to..."

"Fluttershy."

"...She finally stopped and..."

"Flutt.Er.Shy"

"...And so we finally..."

"FLUTTERSHY YOU USELESS DAUGHTER OF A WHORE!!!!"

Fluttershy sunk back in fear. Multiple tears formed in her eyes at the insult to both her, and her mother.

"I have been trying this whole time to get your attention, but you would rather sit and chat to a FUCKING RABBIT about a CELESTIA DAMN COW! You invited me here, and I expect to be given the utmost respect! Instead, I get a piss-poor excuse for cheese, Tea that's too hot, a small ass piece of cake, and get overruled BY A FUCKING BUNNY!!!"

Fluttershy and the rest of the inhabitants of the cottage rushed for the door, but starlight slammed it shut, locking it with a flick of her magic.

"Oh, Your not going ANYWHERE this time!" With that, Starlight Glimmer teleported outside of the building and launched a fireball at the poor cottage.

"TIME TO MELT THE CHEESE BITCH!!!!!"

*********

The Ponyville police were having a busy day.

First, a crater had been blown in the road. Next, they found a stand selling illegal meat products. After that, a democratic rally had been interrupted by a barrage of meat, and the stage had been defiled. Later, a collection of ash piles had been found on a dirt road near a small cottage. Now, the radio was calling in something else.

"Patrol 11K 11King come in."

Officer Steel answered the call. "Go ahead KGPL.".

"Domestic disturbance at the Cottage on Forest road, Unit to handle code 3 identify."

" This is Patrol 11K, We'll take that call"

"Confirmed. All other units code two, identify"

Officer Steel Barrel and his partner, G-Force, galloped as fast as they could. A code three domestic disturbance was never good. After a good 5 minutes, the two officers reached the location of the call.

All they found, was a smoking crater, and a few burning birdhouses.