Shitty IRC Clopfics

"... and here's the library..." The ash-gray pony with the bright red mane said, gesturing to the tree-house, which was literally a tree with a house built into it. "So. I guess that concludes the tour."

The maroon pony with the light brown mane looked at him, "Thanks, Tap. So... um... can I check out a book now?"

Tap rolled his eyes as he pushed his glasses up his muzzle, "Arby, why are you asking me?"

"Well, I don't know. Just... I'm new and..." He blushed.

"Shy. Great. Fine, come with me." Tap walked to the door and knocked.

"Just a moment," A voice sang from inside. Moments later a purple dragon opened the door, "Oh, heya Tap. What brings you all the way out here?"

"I was forced to join the 'meet and greet' group by Fluttershy. A new pony just moved in, so I'm showing him around." Tap sighed, "Why I have to do this is beyond me."

"Well, isn't it better than hanging around dead ponies all day?" Spike asked, genuinely concerned.

Arby's mouth dropped, "D-d-d-d-d-d-dead p-p-p-p-p-p-ponies?"

"Don't worry about it." Tap turned and gave Arby a very blank stare, "It's not your time... yet."

The next thing Arby knew was the painful embrace as the ground meeting his face.

"Hey, take it easy." Spike said, gently letting helping Arby sit up. He was lying on a couch.

"What happened?"

"You fainted. Tap sorta... scared you. Not that I blame you. He's the town mortician, and he deals with the deceased... yeah, he's a weird one." Spike laughed, "The way you fainted you would've thought that you thought he was the angel of death or something."

Arby's face flushed.

"You did?" Spike giggled, "Don't worry. He's harmless. The only thing scary about him is his sense of humor."

"Oh. Well, I'm Arby. I'm an artist." He smiled, "I've never actually met a Dragon before... I was overwhelmed when I saw you... to be honest." He mumbled the last part to himself and looked down at the floor unable to meet Spike's eyes.

Spike didn't notice. "Well, I'm Spike. I'm Twilight Sparkle's assistant here in this library."

"C-can I get a membership? I'd like to check a book out."

"Sure. Hang on a second, here," He held up a cup of water to him. "Take a sip."

Suddenly the glass was surrounded in a light-maroon aura that surprised Spike making him yank his hand back out of reflex. He laughed after a moment. "Wow, you scared me. I didn't know you were a unicorn."

Arby, once again, blushed. "Yeah. I hide my horn in my hair..."

"Why?"

"Well... I'm an artist, and I respect some of the great Earth pony artists of our time. I just want to emulate them." He pulled his mane aside to show his small. hidden horn, "Unicorns can use their magic to hold a brush, mix paint... do anything they want, but I feel that true art, the real art comes from your own hooves! You need to feel the brush, you need to feel the paint mixing, you need to..."

He stopped when he saw Spike looking at him, a small smile on his face. Those big green eyes peering into his. Those narrow slits piercing his soul. Arby quickly brought the glass of water to his face in a feeble attempt to hide the rush of blood to his cheeks. Why? Why was he blushing so much? And from a Dragon too! It could only mean one thing, and as much as it shocked him to realize it, he really had just fallen for the purple Dragon. Love at first sight. He believed it could happen, yet he never expected it to happen to himself.

"That's... really beautiful, Arby."

A jolt of electricity shot up Arby's spine. "You... you think so?"

Spike nodded, but his expression changed, "Your face is all red," he placed his claw on the top of his head, "are you feeling alright?"

The Dragon's claw was cold to the touch, yet he could feel warmth coming from the Dragon.

"I-I-I'm fine!" Arby said jerking himself backwards.

"Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you." Spike said, a little shocked at Arby's reaction.

"I-i-i-it isn't that, Spike..." Arby stammered, "i-i-i-it's..."

"What?"

"Spike. It's you. I think... I think I like you." Arby looked down again, "I'm sorry, it's just... it's your eyes... they're... beautiful."

This time it was Spike who was taken aback. This pony sitting there actually liked him? But how? They had only just met!

"You can't like me, Arby. We only just met." Spike said standing up and walking over to a large table. He pulled out a large blue book and placed it on the table, his scaly claws gently running along the edge as he pulled the cover open. "I mean, I'm flattered, but..."

"I know. It just feels... right." Arby looked up at Spike, "Sorry, Spike. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh, you didn't scare me. Come over here. You need to fill out your personal details n this book before I can give you your library card." Spike dipped a quill in the inkwell and held it up for Arby.

Standing up, Arby walked over and looked at the open page. It asked for the basic information. Name, address, and a few other minor details. As he was filling out the form, he felt Spike next to him looking over his shoulder. His heart had began to race, and he found it hard to concentrate on anything apart from how close Spike stood next to him. With every ouch of willpower in his mind, he wanted that Dragon to touch him, to brush against his fur. He wanted contact. He wanted to be touched again with those cool scaled claws, the thought of them stroking his mane and his fur made him shudder.

"What's wrong?" Spike asked, pulling Arby's face towards him, "Are you sure you're not ill?"

The way he had grabbed him... Arby couldn't take it anymore! He leaned forwards and kiss the Dragon on the lips.

Spike pulled away, shocked. Real shocked. Very shocked.

And turned on.

Arby let out a squeak when Spike jumped him, pushing up and onto the table. The way he stared at him, those hungry eyes gazing into his. Arby had never felt this excited in his entire life. Ever.

"You," Spike sated between breaths as he leaned onto the Unicorn, "you started it."

"It's okay..." Arby replied, barely whispering. "I want it."

Something slimy and pointy was pressing against him now. Two of them, to be exact. Looking down, Arby saw Spike's penis had unsheathed itself from his body, two protruding organs that seemed to mimic the shape of tip of his tongue.

Spike leaned in and kissed Arby, forcing his tongue into his mouth. It snaked its way in, exploring his mouth, licking his teeth, and ever wrapping around his own tongue. The kiss lasted several minutes, and when Spike pulled back, Arby found himself drooling for more.

He felt Spike's hips grind, as his dual-penis rubbed on either side of his scrotum, between his tights. It felt wonderful, the pre-cum from Spike's organ literally soaking his fur down there. Unable to contain himself, Arby pulled his hips up, trying to get Spike to aim lower. Spike reached down and grabbed Arby's member in his claw at that moment and squeezed, making him throw his head back in ecstasy.

"Oh, Spike! Please! Just... do... me..." Arby begged with his eyes closed.

"Do what?" Spike asked, feigning innocence.

"Me!" Arby pleaded, humping Spike's firm grip.

"Do what?" Spike asked again, this time leaning it so that their heads touched, their eyes inches apart.

"F... f..." Arby blushed furiously and tried to look away, but Spike let go of Arby's penis and pulled his chin so that their eyes were once again locked together.

"What?" Spike asked, "I didn't quite catch that."

"Fuck..." Arby's voice squeaked, "me."

Spike grinned and pulled Arby up by pulling his penis towards his stomach. Two points pressed against his anus and Spike slowly allowed the points to enter first.

The long moan from Arby's throat made Spike's member harden. He had never before been this turned on. Ever. That was besides the fact that this was actually Spike's first time with a pony. He's always wondered how it would feel, and he was liking it. A lot.

He pushed himself in, all the way to the base.

Arby shouted in shock and hugged Spike in his hooves. The pain from the suddenness had sent shock waves through his body, yet he didn't want Spike to stop. In and out, the Dragon went. Each time the two pronged penis would change direction. One would go up, the other down, or sideways, or any other direction, but each time it sent chills though Arby's body.

"I-I'm coming." Arby squealed, and sure enough, his penis emptied itself onto his stomach.

Spike, pulled himself out, and looked at Arby, who shyly looked away. He'd come by being fucked by a Dragon! And it was the best orgasm he had ever achieved.

But Spike wasn't done. Not yet. Flipping the Unicorn over, he pinned him down on the table, and with his free hand pulled his tail aside as he rammed his Dragon cock deep inside him. In and out, again and again, with no signs of slowing, Spike continued.

"Spike... I can't take it!" Arby shouted, "I'm cumming aga-"

He tensed up and felt another push as he came once more, this time right onto the table. Spike didn't even pause, he pounded away until he locked his legs together and pulled Arby back.

He let out a roar, and Arby felt the warm flow of Dragon flow deep into his body. He wiggled his rear, milking the Dragon for even drop. Spike collapsed on top of Arby, and kissed him behind his ear.

"That, was awesome." Spike said slowly grinding against Arby.

He pulled out and Arby felt his cum starting to ooze out of him. He clenched as hard as he could. He wasn't going to let a drop of Spike escape. He wanted to keep it all to himself.

"Thanks, Spike. Can... can I come tomorrow to borrow a book?" Arby asked, smiling sweetly at the Dragon.

Spike grinned, "I'd be hurt if you didn't."

Arby giggled as he leaned in and kissed Spike on the cheek, "I'm good with my mouth too, you know." He whispered in the Dragon's ear.

Spike watched as Arby walked away from the library. He was walking really funny with his head lower to the ground, and his rear up high. Some of the ponies passing by couldn't help but do a double take.

"Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike? Spike!" Twilight barked, walking in on the Dragon still sleeping.

"Huh? Twilight? What are you doing up so early?" Spike asked, stretching.

"It's not early. It's after nine. And can you come with me." Twilight turned and stormed off.

Spike followed moments later, "What is it Twilight?"

"Can you tell me what's on this book?" Twilight asked, pointing at the big blue registration book. The ink was smudged, and there were liquid stains all over the pages.

Spike grinned nervously at Twilight, "It's... uh... coffee... and... stuff... cream... yeah..."

"Now I'm going to have to redo this whole page! Spike, can't you be more careful?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, Twilight. It was just... this was a spur of the moment thing. I just... kinda... went with it." Spike looked out the window to see a maroon Unicorn skipping towards the library, "And... I'm also going to take the rest of the day off."

Twilight looked a little shocked, but shrugged, "Fine. Just be sure to finish your chores later."

"Will do." He replied as he heard the knock on the door, his heart fluttering in his chest, "Will do."