Harsh Beginings

“What’s wrong? Please tell me” I noticed now that she was acting way out of herself, she was not how Pinkie had described her, I could tell she really cared and didn’t want to get hurt or hurt somepony. This was going to be difficult to explain.

“First of I need to know if you have told anypony that I’m your coltfriend” I needed to know that way nopony might need to be told later otherwise

“Well… no not really…” I could sense the sorrow in her voice

“For the next few moments that i tell you my story and explain everything, we are going to be only friends and nothing more, at the end you judge were we stand and we’ll need to come to an arrangement.”

“But why, do you not like me or something.” She shed a tear as she said that.

“I do like you it’s just that I feel we rushed to quickly, we have no clue of each other’s life or what there like, we need to hear out each other, but first I’ll be the one to talk, I need to get this load of me once and for all, I been carrying the weight for the last 14 years and I need to tell somepony who doesn’t already know and if I truly want my new beginning I need to let it out and I need to listen to every single word, do you promise me that?” it took her some time to analyze the situation but finally she nodded and that’s when I started again.

“I was in middle school when I had my first marefriend, she asked me out and since I was young I didn’t really know what to say so I just simply said yes, I was 13 at that point, I didn’t really know what to do since the whole experience was new to me, after 1 month or so of “Dating” she decided to break up with me, sadly she did it during the spring dance, I was devastated, everypony had a date except me, even my friends had dates and even she ended up with another pony moments after she dumped me. I stayed the whole night, foolish choice, but well, once I got home I rushed to my room, I was so mixed up with emotions I just didn’t know how to react, she was my first love and I did truly love her, the only defect was that I didn’t know how to act as a coltfriend, I didn’t eat for the next few weeks, the most I ate during that time was lettuce, it didn’t help much when one of my teachers became “concerned” and sent me to the school psychologist, which only made me feel like I had something really wrong when I knew o could easily pull myself together, the thought otherwise, it didn’t help either that they heard a rumor about me wanting to kill myself, that’s when I found out the only way out was to start isolating myself, I didn’t want them to hurt me anymore, at least mentally, thankfully I was only bullied verbally and mentally, the only thing that drove me to continue and finish middle school was the thought of high school and how that would be a new start.” I took a pause to see if Dash had any opinions
“So that’s it? That was a long time ago, now you have your new start, you can easily forget all that!” she said it as it all ended there and hoping I wouldn’t leave her

“I wish that where all ended, but it’s not the end just yet, when I graduated from middle school my dad was transferred to Canterlot from his work in Cloudsdale, I was 15 when we moved there, my sister who was 18 stayed in Cloudsdale due to her university, my little brother-“ I made a rapid pause as I inhaled, talking about my brother was never easy. “My brother was 2 when we moved to Canterlot, Since my friend’s dads also worked at the same place as my dad they all were transferred together, we all went to same high school, except my friend Ditzy was the first to graduate from high school she left me and my other friend in high school alone for 2 years, thankfully everything went good in there, well at least better than in middle school, then one day after I had barely graduated from high school, my parents went out for the weekend and left my little brother with me…” I had to stop, I was about to break into tears but I managed to pull myself together and talk again. “My parents left us money to buy food and well I asked my little brother if he wanted to come with me… I should have just left him home…When we arrived at the plaza I told him to stay in front of me the whole time so I wouldn’t lose him…But that didn’t work… I got distracted at a stand, I remember he said he wanted ice cream but I told him we had to eat first, that was the last thing I heard from him…When I was done buying the stuff at the stand I turned around to tell him something, but he wasn’t there, I became concerned when he didn’t answer, I started asking everypony if they had seen him, but nobody did. I had lost somepony I cared for…It was all my fault… I should have made him stay home… I spend the rest of the weekend looking for him, I didn’t sleep either so I was really tired when I stopped looking, finally I had to live the hardest moment in my life, I had to tell my parents, they were as devastated as I was, one week later they decided to move back to Cloudsdale, I was filled with grief, and I couldn’t believe what had happened… that’s when I decided I wouldn’t ever go back to Cloudsdale and I would never fly again..” I took a quick breath and continued. “Finally, The reason why I don’t want to rush all this relationship. When I was in middle school, after I had broken up, another mare came along and asked me out, I was happy cause I didn’t have to isolate myself anymore, but I don’t know why me, but I soon found out why, turns out she used me to get her old coltfriend jealous, it worked, the guy beat me up so hard I was knocked out hard, apparently word got out that I was “good” for the kind of stuff and this same situation happened 3 more time, after that last one I decided I was going back to isolating myself, I had been hurt so much, all I ever had desired was some physical contact, a hug would have been good enough for me, but, it never happened and that’s why I’m so shy and so easily depressed, sometime I’ll get so lost in flashbacks I won’t even realize what I’m doing, and that’s why I feel we need more time to get to know each other better Dash, I just want to be friends for now, nothing more…” I had let all that out, after many years I had opened up to somepony new, it felt good but I didn’t know how she would respond. After some time she spoke.

“If that’s what you want then okay… I won’t pressure you.” She didn’t look at me as she got up from the couch and slowly walked to the door.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” I asked, I needed somepony to hang out with I didn’t want to be alone.

“Sure no problem.” I noticed a strange smile, as she were up to something but I let it be and waved her goodbye as she galloped away from my house.
After that I went to sleep to think about everything I told her and tried to analyze her smile, something about it just seemed strange, I knew she was planning something, but what could it be? Good or bad?
After much thought I fell asleep, I had slept well for the first time in years as if I had taken a lot of weight of my chest.