Introductions

This is the audio-journal of the deceased Master thief, Ace, recovered from the ruins of the Equestrian Royal Museum, Canterlot.

December 15, 2016: Earth

So what's the first thing a Master-Thief should know not to do? Not get caught, carrying a fuckin' priceless artifact! Yeah, that was a pretty terrible day for my career. First I break into the London museum...by slipping on the icy roof and falling straight through the skylight. Then I attempt to James-Bond my way to the Obelisk...only to roll straight through the security beams guarding the Artifact, setting of the damn alarm...THEN I run into the...admittedly trigger-happy security guards...with the fucking thing roped to my damn back. Then again, I must admit, being shot at by a bunch of interns, then smashed in the face by a big-ass Sarcophagus is good way to get the blood flowing. Oh...did I also mention being transported to another world? Not my best day, you know?

What's that? You're wondering how the hell is recording this journal? Well give me fricking minute, I'm getting there! Guess I should start at the beginning huh? Least then this damn thing will make sense and you won't have wonder who the fuck is recording this audio-tape for you. You can call me Ace...Least that what I've decided to call myself since becoming an expert thief, at . What? Just because it's the Twenty-first century, it doesn't mean that there can't be thieves running along the roof-tops at night...though I must admit, thieves don't wear black clothes or Oprah style masks covering their eyes any more...way to tacky! But I digress. Yeah, my names Ace and I'm a thief. I'd call myself a Master thief, unrivaled by none.

"STOP RIGHT THERE YOU CRIMINAL SCUM!" And there's what most people call me. Mostly stuff like scum or filth. Ordinary people just don't understand the finesse of my job or the amount of skill needed to...."I'M WARNING YOU, ASSHOLE! GET BACK HERE! You know, I've never understood people's need to shout out insults. It's not my fault I became a Master-thief...Ah, who the fuck am I kidding, it was completely my fault. I'm like a damn Magpie since I have a need to surround myself with sparkly things...mainly like giant jewels and...other exotic artifacts....I'm digressing again aren't I. Sorry, it's hard to concentrate on what I'm trying to say when a pair of idiots are firing machine guns at you, whilst your running around on a slippery roof. With a giant rectangular obelisk on your back. I guess I'll start from the beginning

So yeah, as I said, my name is Ace and I'm a thief. I live in London...most of the time anyway and I like nicking things. Preferably big, shiny things. And that's the reason I headed to the London museum tonight. It took me a while to scope out the building, planning to scale the wall during the night. What I hadn't banked on, in my stupidity, was that the janitorial staff had been cleaning the roof and the water had frozen to the brick work. My climbing gear, consisting of a pair of Pickaxes had trouble digging in to the side. And I must stress that I AM a master thief. I looked the part too, with black leather wrappings covering the main part of my body with a thin black mask covering my head hiding my pale skin. High backed, worn leather boots covered my feet. A large, serrated knife was strapped tightly to my leg, with several throwing knives attached to my back.

Smiling to myself at the thought of what people would say if they saw me, I stabbed the two picks, hard into the frozen stone and bricks, steadily dragging myself up the side of the museum, cursing the icy weather and my incredible bad planning all the way. For a Master-thief, I had incredibly bad-timing. Once I ended up robbing a cargo plane, full of rare gold coins and ended up bailing out at the wrong time....landing in the middle of a Spanish port town. Anyways, yeah I was busy trying to scramble up the side of the building, my legs dangling in space, when I heard raised voices. I've always found it weird that guards seem to talk in ridiculously loud voices, especially when they're nervous about someone breaking in. It's a funny fact of a thief's life and it's a very exploitable fact too.

"So...You reckon the Ace thief'll turn up tonight?" Judging from the high pitched tone of the voice, I guessed that the guard was new. Looking up, I could see the snipers laser sight dancing about all over the place. "I knew when I signed up for this job," The guard was saying loudly, clearly waving his gun about, "The fuckers nicked god-knows how much stuff from other places. I can't wait till' I get a chance to catch that little shit!" I smirked coolly, pulling myself up again. He was definitely new. New guards made mistakes. And when they made mistakes...they were easier to kill. Pulling myself up onto the roof, I saw the two guards were standing at the other edge of the roof, their backs turned to me. I smiled to myself, slipping the knife from its' sheath. This would be fun. Oh HOW FUCKIN' WRONG I WAS!

So yeah, I slipped and fell straight through the skylight trying to deal with the guards and I fell through the pissing infrared beams guarding the Obelisk. Good thing i thought to cut the power or those numb-nuts would've been all over me. But even an alarm wouldn't have made me run, entranced as I was by the Obelisk. It was rectangular thing, made of what appeared to be semi-transparent metal. The small lamp-lights shining underneath it gave off a translucent effect with many different colors. Smiling to myself, knowing this thing would be the pride of my collection, I reached out, hoping to pick it up. It was my reflection that stopped me. Damn I was a good-lookin' bastard. My mask had been shredded in the fall, revealing my mug. Long, straggly white hair covered one of my ice-blue eyes. But the surrounding reflections was what drew my attention.

See, using the display lights, I could use the side of the Obelisk like a mirror, providing me a slightly distorted view of the Museum. But it wasn't the London museum that I was looking at. The image reflecting through the metal showed me a slightly wider chamber than the original Museum with a smaller amount of objects on pedestals. Oh...and there were several, multicolored horses standing around me, each one staring at me with wide eyes. Standing in the middle of the small group of...horses was a large Winged, white furred Pegasus staring at me with hostile, pink eyes. At that point, my astute senses took that moment to notice that several of the ponies were holding spears and covered in golden armor. Several of them had sharp horns sticking out of the helmets instead of wings. The spears that the horses had been carrying were pointing directly at me. Oh crap.

"Creature!" The winged-Unicorn barked as I turned round. Now that I was facing away from the Obelisk, I could see that the chamber I was standing in was circular, with several of the armored Pegasus and Unicorns along the walls, each pointing their spears at me. "I am Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria! Tell me who you are and what you're doing inside my treasure vault!" I smiled, slightly concerned that I seemed to be having a bad acid trip and that I was seeing talking Ponies. "Answer me creature!" Barked the one called Princess Celestia. My eyes darted around the room searching for escape routes. I needed to get out. I was panicking, something I hadn't done in a long time. I took a step forward and-------

Main audio Journal ends here.

Additional Notes

Princess Celestia watched as the creature, garbed from head to foot in black, toppled to the ground, the Marble floor emitting a loud crash as the intruder hit it. The Alicorn frowned as she gazed down at the intruder. It had appeared out of nowhere, standing in front of the switcher-stone as though it had only just touched the stone. The Alicorn turned her attention to the several guards stationed around her.

"Take this thing to cells!" She ordered harshly. Turning back to the intruder, the Alicorn frowned. "I want this...thing brought to me as soon as it wakes up!"