Said the Spider to the Horse Flies

Part 3-

Even though Featherweight would never, ever bring it up for the simple sake of it, he and pretty much everyone in the Equestrian Land knew that his skills with a thread were amazing, even spectacular. Weaving through Pony Ville skies with ease as his Needle body contorted into proper shapes to cover more ground is a lesser time was the twiggy Colt’s specialty, after all. These skills were what built the boy into what he had become in recent days as they were. Sure, the messes he more or less made himself were all cleaned up after the dreaded invasion by the Tumblr Verse, but Pony Ville wasn’t exactly the safest haven in Equestria either; it was a perfect place for Underground Criminals, regardless of skills of course, to make their moves because no maned nor coated pony around was aware, sometimes even the Princess and her legion in Canter Lot. That was, everyone except for one Brave Blue-Red bearing Pony.

The Spectacular Spider Mane did his best to live up to name, every day he could including this Early Pony Ville morn. The hour seemed right to make a quick inspection of the mini-city, as yes, Ponies were only beginning to wake up around him, but in a place like Equestria there was never a time where something wasn’t going down. Aside from Crazy Ms. Pinkie Pie, Featherweight knew that waking up in the morning wasn’t the most pleasurable experience for Ponies around. Morning Stress was bound to happen anywhere, causing Wagon Crashes, Random Acts of Road Rage and sometimes straight up insults to injury right in front of the young Pony’s white eyes across Pony Ville rooftops. Speaking of Rooftops, it seemed like a good time to switch things up before anyone began to suspect the Super Hero’s activities at the moment. With the flick of a wrist, the Spider-Pony Fusion shot a stream out to the tall clock tower across from the Candy Shop he was currently hunching over like an armed security Camera, and began to maneuver his way across. As he crawled from one end of his Webbing to another, Featherweight began to think, as the motion would actually take longer than he thought; Town Hall’s Clock Tower was a ways away. The whole situation he had just begun to encounter seemed off. Sure, he’d made his way across rooftops like this all the time, as the Pony Ville roofs were usually too low to Swing across which was a motion that Featherweight longed to make ever since he’d try to on the first day of his Power Endeavour, but still, crawling across roofs was usually a sight from his point of view, and carried a cooling breeze with it. Was it the Sun Rise? Maybe… The Spectacular Spiderman was often distracted by Celestia’s morning lighting anyway though, because it reminded him a lot of what his life used to be; Peaceful, Serene and as Worry free as Celestia was every morning when she made the Sphere of light rise from the depths of Equestria’s Sky.

Up until the one, Tiny Spider from the Tumblr-verse’s murky depths had to come along and change everything that is. Lives were lost, Wills were lost, and Ponies were struck as even ones who had never seen a Royal Guard’s sword before were armed for whatever battle Celestia’s Forces were ready to rid of. Everyone and their mother was engaged in battle with the strange alternate Ponies, and despite the Real Equestria’s Brass Will to survive, the Tumblr verse’s mindless desires, whether they be for Destruction or Simple Apples, were often impossible to fulfill. All seemed lost until someone brought up the Sacred Elements of Harmony, to which the Princess agreed without a moment of thought. As quick as a Stallion, Celestia went to Pony Ville to gather up the 6 Saviours who had saved Equestria now at least 3 Significant times, so naturally with an apocalyptic force like this, they were more than Willing to give a helping Hoof. Lined up outside the Anomaly of a Dimensional Hole, the 6 Ponies readied themselves and their respective Elements to destroy whatever it was, and whoever it was causing so much Havoc.

“Alright Girls! Role call!” Twilight called out to the other Members of the Mane 6 over the wind blowing in through the Rip. Each of them stood tall as they prepared to call their names.

“Twilight Sparkle! The Element of Magic!”

“Pinkie Pie! The Element of Laughter! Ha HA!

“Applejack! The Element of Honesty!”

“Miss Rarity! The most fabulous-“

The White Unicorn called her name, but was met with a few unamused stares. Twilight called her out before it was too late to move on.

“Now is really not the time for that!” Twilight called out, wanting to waste no time before anything else got out of the Rip.

“Uh- I mean, Rarity! The Element of Generosity!”

“Uhm… Fluttershy. The Element of Kindness.”

“And last, but not least, Rainbow Dash! The Hard Gut, Kick Butt Bearer of the Element of Loyalty! Friends over foes any day of the week, you stupid space hole!” The final pony gave her name aloud as Twilight shook her head in satisfaction by the Rainbow Pegasus’s speech.

“Well put Rainbow, but now there’s no more time to lose! The ‘Space Hole’ is about ready to strike again, so it’s time for the power of Equestria to Strike it back. Anytime you gals ar-”

Twilight froze in place as suddenly as an Egg timer, and the others stood in front of the gape with gapes of their own. Even though each and every one of the 6 were ready to fire their Great elemental energy and seal the whole thing up then and there, something came up right in front of their faces. In awe, they stood as the Hole’s bright light began to dim before their eyes as if something was making an effort to cover it themselves. After a few seconds of watching it almost seal up on itself, someone in the Mane 6 had to speak up and shatter the barrier of silence as if it was getting in the way of their elemental Bond. Pinkie Pie opened her muzzle first, as always.

“What WAS that? Not even the Sparkly Elements are able to build walls out of nowhere! Only Special ponies can do that, and that Hole was not a Special Pony. It wasn’t even Pony shaped except for maybe the bottom that looked a bit like Rainbow Dash’s wing, but even then it doesn’t explain Random White Walls that pop up all Crazy WAZY!”

“Oh my… I hope we didn’t do something wrong. Is everyone still okay, cause I don’t know if I’d like if the Elements backfired on some pony…?” Fluttershy averted her gaze for a second as she looked into the Jewel of her Element, and asked out a little reassurance for herself.

“Yeah, don’t worry Fluttershy we’re all cool. Not as Cool as me, but still. This wall is giving my coolness a run for its money!”

The other Ponies peered up at Rainbow Dash for a second or two. Stating something was as cool as she was? This must have been REALLY cool.

“Now we don’t have to worry about draining the Elements’ power an extra time thanks to this thing.” Rainbow Dash flew up and gave the Beige wall a check pat, but to her surprise it felt different than she thought it would, colliding with her Hoof unlike any wall she’d ever pat before, and with all the check taps her and Fluttershy often had to fly up and do, this one was way different. There wasn’t any echoing from its inside, nor was there and kind of rebound that would normally make her hooves hurt after the fact, far from it. It was spongy and sticky, almost like ones out of Pinkie Pie’s infamous Cupcake recipes, but this gunk wasn’t Cupcakes. It didn’t even smell like Dessert. Rainbow flashed her face away from the gunk as fast as possible before the odor burned the rest of her nose’s insides out.

“What is this?”

The fishiness was getting to every pony in the mane 6 circle. No Ramblings from Twilight were even ready to spill out, no assorted leaks from Pinkie, no comments on fluidity and cleanliness of the situation from top to tap, nothing out of Applejack’s mouth to be found other than maybe the moisture from having her jaw gape open for so long at what just happened, and of course Fluttershy, who probably wouldn’t have pressures into talking anyway, but this time even her silence was as ominous as a Faucet in the middle of the Forest. As for Rainbow Dash, there wasn’t really much of a chance to let anything leak out into this ocean of stares at the Web like wall anyway.

Web like…

Twilight forgot about the astonishment for a second as a weird little thought came up, almost like a bite, which was a coincidence on its own, but Bug jokes could wait for that same emotion forgetting second. Making good use of her magic, Twilight sprouted a little chunk of the substance off the wall, trying her best to not leave a hole, but looking at the wall’s thickness, there probably wasn’t much to worry about. Maybe just a little breeze, but anything else would never be able to withstand its way through the Grey Goop Barrier’s rough, tough build.

“This is impossible. It’s the most unlikely thing to ever happen even in Equestria!” Twilight began to examine the piece of material in its dull coloured, grey coated glory until it finally began to strike her like an Icing glob.

“It’s… it’s… fascinating!” Twilight shifted around back to the other five now completely free of the wall’s discoloured hypnotism.

“Girls. I don’t know how it happened or where something like this would even spray from-“

“Spray?” Rarity gawked out cutting Twilight’s sentence into hay bits.

“That can’t be right Twilight! I mean, sure this wall might be Ew-y and gooey from Pony touch to handle, but there isn’t anything in the entire Universe that can SPRAY out something like this.”

“Hoho, Rarity…” Twilight came back. “You’re leaning against it.”

The marshmallow coated unicorn pulled away, pulling some of her hair out in the process before she let out a high pitched scream, but that was a normal Rarity freak out if Twilight ever saw one. She continued.

“I don’t quite know how to explain this girls, in fact as of right now there’s no way, but calling back to some of my late night studies, this goop came to mind as none other than one thing. Spider web.”
No pony would’ve believed her anyway, but just as the words came out of Twilights mouth, Fluttershy began to see something on the ground during her commotion cowering. Shadows of some pony from overtop the building behind. She turned around with a slight tremble to see who it was, but before she could react, the pony was gone. At least partially. A line of string flew itself onto a building even further into the distance than that one carrying a weight along with it; a foal is Fluttershy ever saw one. Fluttershy stared into the distance for what seemed to be the longest time without hearing what the other girls behind her were up to. But they hadn’t said a word. They saw the whole thing as well and yet again were just as speechless as the Pink-Yellow Pegasus was on a weekly basis. How did that happen? Who knew? Where did it come from? Where else? Who was it? They didn’t have to guess. The Spectacular Spider Mane was there.

But now was not the time to be gazing into the sunrise. Feather Weight had gotten so relaxed into his memories that the Web line wasn’t even half crossed since he began thinking. Then again, what did it matter anyway? Besides the 6 Equestrian heroes there wasn’t a single foal or filly in the world that enjoyed the Spider’s company; even then his actions weren’t exactly noticed by them as much as they were then. In Ponyville’s eyes an insect like him was only good for the most intense like sealing the portal anyway. Not many a Pony ever took much of a second glance at the things around town he did to just make ponies smile; Sure Rainbow Dash had seen his Silky clouds made from scratch to be a temporary replacement if the Pegasus had missed a few on Weather Duty, and maybe Fluttershy liked the little houses he ‘Helped’ build during the night, but besides the Web Wall to the Tumblr-verse, that was about it. Pinkie never seemed to care too much for his Web Cakes, but then again, neither did he, but that was beside the point. Sometimes Feather Weight knew it would just be better to hang the suit up, and make sure Celestia’s Armed guards drop both the suspicions and the felonies, and those were only after 2 weeks on the job.

Aw well, after pulling off a stunt like sealing the Tumblr-Portal-thing anyway, Featherweight knew there was a responsibility on his costumed back now, and all hanging up the costume now would do is get him back into being plain old Feather Weight. Young, meek, thin, bucktoothed Feather Weight, catering to that Crab-apple of a Filly that would make a Discorded Caterpillar proud: Diamond Tiara. Being a red and blue Spider wasn’t so bad anyway. At least no one would be able to know who broke their entrances; Feather Weight hardly even knew that Window personally. And the Town Hall Double doors, well, it’s probably better off saying that their fate was worse than the wood chipper.
Speaking of Wood chippers, the Previous Night in Pony Ville was anything but a peaceful one. Cheerilee’s School house sounded like it was robbed by killer belly floppers after a slam like the one he heard, and the sight of it was even worse in the morning. Broken door hinges and was probably a window at one point scattered all across the interior’s floor and by the looks of it, a Desk Robbery too. As boring as this morning’s patrol was, at least it was for a decent reason besides making sure no pony thought he did it. In other words, unless this Pony was a Fly away and escaped to Cloudsdale while clever old Feather was asleep, there was a Burglar lurking someplace through the (Mostly) Innocent streets of the Towne, and worse yet, they had a grudge on the Magenta-Mare of a Teacher that was Cheerilee. Why any living thing would have dirt on her was a good question, but as long as the Spectacular Spider Mane was on the scene, there was no speck of dirt for any pony to worry about. But just as the Fleet Footed Foal had finally made it to the end of his web, he realized something leaving his mind on the end of something else.

The Spider took a few peaks around the town as he sat atop Town hall with all of what there was in Equestria in view. It really was amazing to see at such a height, and for one split second, Featherweight finally knew the definition of Beauty to Pony Villars. It was just the right moment to see the oranges of the sun be reflected over all that there was to see from the Cloudy Town above to the Green Grass below that lead into the endless Everfree forest. Even the Trees from Sweet Apple acres seemed to glow. For the first time in his life, Featherweight knew what it was like to fly like the Pegasi he’d seen every single day. That feeling of Freshness was one of the best things the young Pony had felt in a while, and if there was ever any time that he needed a splash like that, it was then. But then again, maybe then wasn’t the time after all. Besides if he were a Pegasi, what use would there be in being Spider Mane? With wings it would be something more like: Silk Fly Guy, in all his pointless glory. As funny as a Black and Grey web spraying, high flying pony would look, even in the mind, it’s not like any pony would be laughing once he made their bottom jaws his Fist’s Bag. No Pony was there to hear the thoughts anyway, but after a thought like that, it was fine. As a matter of fact, there was no pony around then.

Anywhere.

Not a single thing was flying it way around Pony Ville’s neither streets nor skies. Or in the distant Appleloosa which is from what Featherweight heard was genuinely crowded at that time of year. There wasn’t even a single thing flying around Cloudsdale’s seemingly white Orbit. No Ponies in sight.

They must’ve seen Featherweight stalking around the streets and warned the rest of Equestria in the process. As cool as it was to have some respect from the Townsfolk like this, Featherweight didn’t really want them to be afraid the Spider’s power either. Sure, some skulls were cracked every now and then, but violence like that was only for the finest piles of scum drifting its way past the clean dirt roads. With a long sigh, not even questioning where every pony was hiding or what they were up to, Featherweight crawled back down the building with a lump in his throat. The Guilt and Grief had weird way of getting to him. Even as he let gravity take its course as he inched his way down from the Hall’s Various Columns there were voices in his head reminding him of the ways he’d driven the town he’d once saved into cowering in front of him.

“You insignificant Insect. The only Damsel in Distress you’d be able to save is yourself.” A bit Sarcastic for Head Voices, but okay…

“That’s right Mr. Red and Blue pants Panzy, I’m mocking Yo- *FSSHHHHHH*- YOU!”

That was no Head Voice. Unknowing of what kind of abomination was standing behind his Pony Butt, Featherweight spun around to see what it was making that Electronic, yet somehow familiar speech at him. Not that he was expecting much, but what it was that stood before him was unlike any enemy he’d ever been around. It wasn’t any normal crook; it wasn’t even a Pony. Standing Twice as Tall as Featherweight on his hind legs, and carrying a mane twice as shiny, almost metallic, a monster with a girth twice the size of his as well stood before the Amazing Spider Mane as if it weren’t even alive at all. Arms limp to its sides, Legs in a fixed position that not even Thin Feather’s buffed out of proportion father: Roid Rage couldn’t bend, among other bits made the creature, whatever it was, have a kind of toughness to it, but lifelessness at the same time. It was creepy, and the sooner it was out of not only the Spider’s white eyes, but all of Pony Ville’s as well, the better. An image began to fade itself up onto the horrible thing’s face. Again, reminding Featherweight of something so familiar it was like he saw it every day.

“Stupid Machine! I thought she said it would be lag free…” The person in the screen’s image must have been controlling this beast. A robot? That WAS a new one. The controller was having a hard time, too. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Featherweight felt a bit relieved as the thing kept speaking, clearing its throat.

“Ahem. I’m sorry Spider Mane… well not really, but still. You’re gonna have to go before any more of what I have left does. I know plenty about you, but you see, you know nothing of me.”
The Spider just looked at the masked face on the screen. Even with it on it was pretty obvious.

“Uhm… Ms. Diamond Tiara? Is that you piloting this thing?” Spider Mane asked as if he didn’t know. The Blurry screen could not hide the perpetrator’s shock. Both they and Featherweight stood looking at each other for what felt like a full few seconds in silence before the image tore its mask off in rage.

“D’OGHHHHH! How in the sweet mother of Celestia COULD YOU TELL?” Tiara was enraged. Still her Stingy self, but heated up more notches that Featherweight would ever be able to count.

“It was just a lucky guess.” The Spider thought about it for a minute, and even through the answer could be anything, even something as simple as ‘Her Dad Bought it in Canterlot’, he had a question.

“Where DID you get this thing? It’s not really you’re style to drive Robots around Pony Ville, especially Grey ones likes this. Ever thought about Pink? That would be Fabulous!” He said with sarcasm in the last part. Some humour had to get in somewhere despite how enraged she looked. The Angrier she might get, the faster she might leave, maybe, but he was a Spider Mane, not a Psychic Mane; that was Pinkie Pie’s job. As the Spider sat and readied his ears and muscles to take in Diamond Tiara’s revenge for such a comment, it was pretty obvious that Pinkie Pie wouldn’t be there to save him, or any of the other Mane 6. Sure enough, the candy coloured Filly began to Growl in front of the Arachnid Coated Colt.

“HMPHRRRRR! You think you’re SO important, huh Spider Mane? Taking my friends and family’s attention away like that. I swear… If there was anything in the entire Freakin’ land of Equestria that I’d like to take out, it’d be you.” She slowly moved closer to the lese of the Camera used to record the screen image. Even through its murkiness, Featherweight could see the steaming Filly formerly known as Diamond Tiara’s Shining new Fang in her grin.

--

Hopefully not out to Dinner.

Almost snapping her own neck with no Hooves, Tiara flashed her neck to the side.

“That’s strange… I thought I told you to shut up 3 Hours ago!”

You’re quite right. But the thing is, ‘One does not simply shut up a Brain’. Those Internet Memes are beginning to get to us now, huh?

“NO. I had NO Idea that the Internet Memes were beginning to get to us-… I mean me. What did you expect after spending so much time on the stupid sites anyway, besides getting Twilight to build us Androids like this, clopping off?”

--

Twilight…? Build Tiara a ROBOT..?

--

I dunno… you’re right I suppose. This time. This Spider Slayer is pretty awesome after all.

The Mental Filly sighed to herself as she tried to get back to get back to threatening big bugs like the Spider Jerk in front of her. Now that she was actually looking at him, there was something familiar about him, too, even with the peculiar mask. His size, his Hair, his ears. Everything that stuck out on the costumed hero also seemed to stick out in her mind. Just not before her mind could stick out first.

You know, because you just seem to crush on EVERY twig you see.

“THAT. IS. IT. Brain… you will shut up now, or I will end us both.” She yelled, eyes looking up at her Forehead with the most absolute death inducing stare that any pony would ever see, the Spider in front of her included. Diamond Tiara had never been so angry in her short life.

“In Fact…”

The Filly Grabbed the back of her Mane, pulling her head back in anticipation as a newer, even more disturbing face that was barely passable as a smile grew across her lips. Comparable with the Grinch’s, except approximately 20% more deadly.

W-wait… what are you doing…? It was a Joke, Tiara! A JOKE!

It was not enough. Will Power now all gone, Tiara whacked her head against the Dashboard of the control room she was in, making an enormous dent stretch across from it from one end to the other. It was the most powerful, raw, focused sock to the head that any pony had ever heard, and just like the flops and crashes from the previous night, the ringing of the noise flew all over Pony Ville, alleys roads and all.

Tiara wasn’t moving as her mind gave one final utter before giving out for good.

I’m Sorry, Tiara

--

It really was unlike anything Featherweight had ever seen. Uncovering his ears from the Filly’s Head Blasting, the Spectacular Spider Mane stood in awe like the Mane 6 had once before in front of him. The whole morning town inspection was something bigger than he’d ever imagined now with an Unconscious Filly’s form standing in a Bionic Screen on the front of a lifeless Robot in front of him, a betrayal by one of the Mane 6 themselves, let alone the one that seemed the most trust worthy (which would’ve explained the ‘Spark Industries’ Tag on the Robot’s Rump, but that was only the kicker). Never did the Spider think that such a thing would ever come from one of the heroes of Equestria in a Million Years. Miss Twilight Sparkle was such a nice Mare, even on Miss Cheerilee’s level. Heck she was up there with Pinkie Pie too, but now it was beginning to come into question.

Whose Idea WAS it, Tiara or Twilight?

Who wanted to be rid of him in all of Equestria, Tiara or Twilight?

Who was in favour of a Mutant-Free, Spider less World, Tiara or Twilight? As if Tiara’s outbursts from earlier weren’t enough, but even then, it was a sticky situation.

Tiara was Nuts that much was obvious now, but Twilight was always Bat-Bonkers. Corrupting the entire town over a Stuffed doll was only the start, too. Next thing anypony would know, tomorrow there could be a Crazy Pony Gliding through the air Calling herself ‘Iron Mare’, revealing her name to the world in an attempt for Super Hero level attention. Abusively impossible. Plus now his ears were ringing from the Bang of Tiara’s Dashboard. All this was enough to just make Feather Weight topple over in confusion and unload every tear he hadn’t cried. After all the days of being a Red and Blue suited lunatic, the Amazing Spider Mane’s weakness was now finally obvious. His Mind and Soul.

“That Noise…. If only it would give me just 1 second to think.”

He remembered.

“That noise.” Feather Weight stood up and began to focus his Spider Sense.

“That Beautiful Noise!” It worked. Featherweight knew exactly where the noise was coming from. He let the noise wash over his suit, letting its vibrations travel to his Radar Quality Listeners. The racket of a sound wave was now the world over Equestria itself to him. Tiara could be saved, maybe even put in a hospital if she behaved, and Twilight would be able to give some much needed answers. The whole morning might have just turned out better than he’s assumed only seconds earlier. That in mind, there was no time to lose. Tiara’s condition wasn’t getting any better in that hot, secluded cockpit, and the Spider Mane wasn’t getting any more serious in attitude. Who knows, maybe this time there would be a dash or two of Praise thrown in for saving such a young Filly. A Parade in his honor, covered in Camera Photo-Floats, and Decked with Layers upon layers of Apple Icing shaped like both Spider Webs and an Apology to him from all the new fans, JUST for the occasion.

“No…”

That last thought didn’t Feel as right as Feather Weight planned. Wanting Praise from the Smorgasbord of Ponies that lived in and around town… what was he thinking? That whole morning’s backtracking was beginning to get to his very inside thoughts, even his reasoning. He wasn’t a Crusader just to get stuff from people, especially if it had to be done by force. He was doing it to better the world for all those Ponies, and to make their lives better in ways they were never able before. Other than Pegasus, no Pony else was really able to get down balls from trees for the Local Fillies and Colts. They weren’t able to Travel to new heights without some kind of assistance like Magic or Wings, sometimes even a helping hand from other Ponies. A lot of the time they weren’t quite even able to feel the freedom of travel to and fro the Equestrian Skies against the Princess’s own will. All that and even more were enough to keep the Paper Thin Pony’s spirits afloat in the first place, and up until watching one of his ‘Closest’ Friends take a skull bash like no other inside of a far off Cockpit, incidentally coming from the back room of Twilight Sparkle’s library as if it wasn’t obvious. Besides, at the end of the day, being able to fit into as Cool, webbed, white eyed duds like the Spectacular Spider Manes was reward enough. But then wasn’t the time for much further thought. It was time to save the World for some pony besides himself for a change in those last couple hours, and the time itself was beginning to run out.

With the speed of a Scorpion, the Spectacular Spider Mane spewed one or two of his signature web lines capable of even Equestrian News in order to make this day a better one for any pony Possible. As he left, Ponies once again began to poor out of the Buildings around the site of the Robot Incident, questioning what exactly it was. Before any pony could answer, a lone note was read in front of whatever was left of the Limp Robot.

“One more robot to add to the Daily Tin Can Tower Miss Pinkie Pie has been building.
- Courtesy of the one and Only Spectacular Spider Mane”