Said the Spider to the Horse Flies

Part 2-

With the close of the last page in Volume 35 of her Encyclo-pony-a set, Twilight Sparkle had finally done it. Every Page of every book in the infamous series was done after 4 years of collecting. Dozens of Bits gotten by working her purple hooves to the bone used to get at least one copy of every installment in the series, even getting duplicates and 1st editions, had been more worth it than Twilight imagined. Of course her Baby Dragon Assistant Spike was in on the whole thing; she couldn’t type up an E-Bay account with Hooves, after all. With Spike’s opposable fingers, and both her Browsing Skills and Connections with Sweet Apple Acres for a job, they were an atomic collecting team, not to be reckoned with by any pony anywhere. As exhilarating as the snooping for the scriptures themselves was, it was nothing in comparison to Twilight’s favourite part: The Reading. All that information that people would have fought over in time, right at the expense of Twilight’s hoof tips. There wasn’t a single night after the faithful one when her collection was complete that her mind wasn’t soaking up any of the 35 volumes, almost as if her Pony-Brain had the absorbency of one of Rarity’s infamous new Sponge-Jewels. Tonight at last, after she’d reached both full Brain Sponge capacity and full exhaustion, she’d read the last words of the last volume. She couldn’t have been gladder to make it through a book in her life.

“Done!” Twilight Sparkle exclaimed to the Library surrounding her. Spike was the first to hear the yelling, storming down the stairs and stopping in front of Twilight as if he was about to file one of his trade mark Beauty Sleep complaints.

“Twilight! You-…” He stopped mid-sentence, realizing that this time it was actually Good news by the way Twilight was creepily grinning to him. He sighed, as he tried to resist having his soul stared into by the eyes of a Pony who hadn’t slept in over 20 hours.

“You finally finished the books, huh Twilight?”

Twilight’s tiredness was no longer able to hold back the excitement. She began to shake in place, until finally the Pinkie Pie inside her blew out at full force.

“YESSSSSSSS-ow!” Twilight leaped as hard and high as her Unicorn hooves could, and apparently physics wanted her horn to hit itself into the ceiling.

“How does Pinkie do it…?” She tried to pull her horn out of the soft, dust paneling without making even more holes.

“It figures, the one thing Encyclopedia’s AREN’T able to explain.”

As she continued to maneuver her horn’s way out of the roof, Spike quickly flashed his way into the closet.

“Don’t worry Twilight! Spike is here to save you!” The little Purple-Green Dragon called to his mentor, holding out a Butterfly net in Triumph, awaiting Twilight’s fall. He clenched the Butterfly net with both hands, hoping that at least his grip would help save the hopeless effort. He waited, standing in his tracks, for the Pony-sized weight to fall into the net, but, nothing way coming. He looked up.

“Huh?” No sign of Twilight besides the crumbling Horn-hole. There was no way she could’ve fallen; the only thump heard that night was from Cheerilee’s School House a few doors down, but that was probably just drunk old Berry Punch again and her hangover hullabaloos like every Monday night. As Spike just began to figure it out, a Twinkling sensation began to shine from his crested head. Twilight, slowly descending her way down from the ceiling was using her powerful Unicorn Magic from the same horn that poked its way up there in the first place, landing on the wooden library floor in front of the still net wielding reptile. Smiling sheepishly, Twilight knew that right then if Spike had a hoof, it wouldn’t be anywhere besides his face, but instead, he put the net over his head with a forgiving shrug. It was a very subtle gesture. Frustrated and a sign of repressing anger, yes, but subtle; a lot like the kinds of reactions Twilight read through in the chapters of Encyclo-pony-a’s 29th volume that she’d read through several nights before. Twilights legs began to wobble as she dramatically stood up on her hind legs, swooning at the very thought of the Book-Set. Quickly, Spike untangled the strings of the net from his head crests and held the net’s material out in an extended fashion, even readier than before to catch the Purple Pony. Twilight fell backwards, letting gravity play its course like she had in experiments before that day, but this time a notch or two less for the purpose of Science. Landing safely in Spike’s net catch, Twilight let her limbs and head rest as she sighed, still thinking about the juicy information that was barely still able to meet her mind’s capacity.

“Thank you, Spike!” She said cheerfully to her Dragon Assistant as she patted his scaly forehead. Unable to resist holding a Pony Sized Weight like Twilight happened to be and the head pat being the final straw, Spike collapsed, bringing the Colourful unicorn down with him.

“You’re welcome… Twilight.” He grunted out from underneath Twilights back as she rose up to see the damage done on the poor Dragon Baby, or at least what was left of him. Standing up on her hind legs again, she examined Spike’s newly flattened back, and began to scoop him out of being a Pancake. Grabbing his tail, she blew him back up as if his spine had gone through some kind of Balloonification. Spike slowly began to reflate with Twilights Pony Air, returning to his normal size like the Dragon-tot every pony knew and loved. For a moment, he stood in place, checking to see if every piece of him was back to being bulgy again, until he finally looked at Twilight with a confused feeling, beginning a question that swept him.

“How did you-“

“Volume 12, Chapters 45 and 46: All about Anatomy. Probably one of my favourite chapters in the entire book. Maybe in the entire 2-Book miniseries!” She Grinned at the very thought, interrupting Spike for what felt like the 400th time that night alone. Rubbing her chin with her left hoof, she gave a thought towards that sentence as she continued talking.

“Definitely not my favorite ones in the whole series, though, no Siree-smiles, that has the absolute honor of going to Volume 4’s awesome Chapters 12 and 45, not that they’re related to each other very much other than how many times they both they the word: Hole, which is 4 by the way, but one actually tells how to Dig proper holes in topsoil which was actually REALLY interesting, and I’ll tell you Spike, that no hole I ever dig from now on will ever be the same as before, no more messiness and no more crooked edges, D’OH, the perfection of those holes just makes me want to dance! Nanana- NOW moving on to chapter 45’s Bluff stuff, it… uh-Uhhhhhh…” Twilight felt her knees go weak again, and was about to fall over into Spike’s then clenched hands, but before she could act, Spike made quick-sure that the act wouldn’t go on any further.

“Ah, ah ah! Dragon hands weren’t made to catch, Twilight!” He called out as he propped her back up onto her hind hooves, cooperating with her stiff limbs as well as Rigor Mortis would have.

“Sorry…” The Mystic Pony apologized innocently hoping Spike’s forgiveness level hadn’t dropped after two consecutive half-faints into his Dragon Claws.

“It’s fine, Twilight, it’s fine. What else are assistants for?” He reassured Twilight in as great a graceful tone as his Four Thirty AM voice could sound.

“Right, Spike! And rest assured, there will be no more Pinkie-Rarity hybrid behavior from this night on. I’m sure the neighbors lost just as much sleep as you did from our Dusk Dilemmas, anyway.” Twilight stated in a worried tone as she opened the library blinds to peer outside, only to see someone eyeing her from across the way in one of the local houses. Who else but Pinkie Pie, complete with her own Four Thirty AM death-stare. The Pink Pony, not moving a single muscle, slowly began to retract behind the window pan below until the outside-night was once again pink free. Twilight, creeped out as any pony would be after seeing THAT, backed away from the window.

“Okay… Uhm… Spike!” She called for her dragon assistant. Like a Barney Coloured flash, Spike rushed away from re stacking Twilight’s multiple volumes, giving a sincere Royal Guard solute as he screeched to a halt in front of her.

“Yessir. Ma’am- pony… sir!”

“You’re free to sleep anytime now, best lieutenant Spike! Atten-hut!” Twilight played along, calling back to her Encyclopedia studies once again. This time the chapter discussing Top Secret, Leaked commands given to Celestia’s royal guards by the princess herself. Spike Marched up the stairs, chest puffed out at its fullest as though all this imitation army drilling was getting to him.

“Oh, and Spike.”

“Yes… Twilight…?” Spike could hardly hold in his chubby gut much longer.

“At ease.”

Spike deflated back into his rounded self. Twilight, amused by the whole little charade switched reality back in against the Army talk.

“And don’t worry, Spike! We’ll get right to the Princess’s letter in the morning.”
With a knod, the Baby Dragon disappeared into his cozy spot next to Twilight’s Hulking bed, drifting off into sleep land, hopefully for the last time in one night. Listening in on Spike’s every move as he drifted his Hyde to sleep; Twilight looked at the mess of paper stacks lying on the library ground. Even though the books may have been done, the cleaning and sorting was just now beginning to awaken.

“Time to get down to the REAL business.” She sighed to herself as she realized that tonight would yet again be a sleepless night. That being said, the night was still a long ways from ending, and the sooner all these volumes of Twilight’s precious Pony-pedias were organized, the more quality sleep next to her quality helper there would be. Humming a familiar tune, she began stacking up the books number by number under her left shoulder.

“Spidermane, Spidermane. Does whatever a Spider can. Twilight picks, up a book. Tomorrow Spike will take a look, at theeeeeem, nothing will topple them.” Twilight placed the last book atop the enourmous stack of every volume that was before lying on the ground, now in a pile that would be able to rival the height of Pinkie’s infamous Mmm cake, marzipan and all, and Twilight hadn’t even broken a sweat.

“That only took a few minutes! Way better than last night’s record! I guess it’s true what every pony says after all! A good song and hearty hooves get the job done THAT better! I guess all there is to do now is go upstairs and hope nothing else happens as I place my hoove onto the library’s first-“
The library door swung open at full force behind Twilight, sending a boom across the entire neighborhood that was louder than any of the other smashing sounds coming from Twilight’s Library that night, and knocking over every single one of Twilight’s multiple volumes as if had just set them up for a game of Dominoes. What simple minded pony would do such a thing to not only Twilight’s Library door, but all her books and the citizen ponies trying to sleep around her? Twilight looked up from the again floor ridden books to see a small Figure: Filly sized and familiar as Applejack was acrobatic. In fact, AJ’s sister Apple bloom probably knew the little girl even more than Twilight did, along with her other 2 friends: Sweetie Bell, who was Rarities sweet little sister, and Scootaloo, who despite only being there for the sake of being there, seemed to be a welcome addition to the group. It took Twilight a second to recap that a filly of the same stature as they just broke through her Door, especially this one: Diamond Tiara, standing in Twilight’s Door frame, breathing as violently as Equestrian Internet was unusable since the invasion of the ever infamous Tumble-verse. She was mad, and by the crooked grin that glues itself to her Muzzle, Tiara was ready. Ready for whatever it was that was making her inch her way over to Twilight so that her face was barely a ruler’s length in front of Twilight’s outstretched Belly. They looked each other in the eyes as they stood pondering about each others' next moves. Was Twilight going to speak up? Was Diamond Tiara going to break a window? Tare up a book? Make minced Dragon Meat out of Spike? …TARE UP A BOOK? The blend of confusion and worry made Twilight begin to shed a tear at the very thought of what would happen next. After a moment of staring, the lump in Twilight’s throat couldn’t take it anymore; she was seconds away from making a tear ocean, and right in front of a Filly, if only she weren’t the problem. She breathed in, lighting the fuse as she took one last glance at Diamond Tiara’s mute face.

“?”

No more anger from the young Pony. Only tears, rolling down her Pink Cheek. Beating Twilight to the task, Diamond Tiara collapsed onto the Library’s wooden panel flooring, limply. There was something more Wrong here than Twilight imagined.

“Ms. Sparkle?” Tiara asked Twilight in a barely audible snivel as she uncoiled her mouth from the Ball she’d rolled herself up into.

“I kn-n-now you and the other ponies don’t like me… but-” Tiara’s tears burst out as she made one last attempt at speech before one last attempt at even opening her mouth was an impossible task.

“You’re the only one who can help me.”

This wasn’t going anywhere good.