Daring Do nodded slowly as Brian summed up everything that had led up to the current situation. Amy knelt over Zach, hands hovering over his arm as she frowned at his sprained wrist, trying to get the sparkling glow to come back. The story had taken about five minutes overall, during which Daring Do had interrupted a few times for a clarification, to which Zach provided a quick answer. Carl, meanwhile, was rifling through all of his pouches, examining the powders and strange odds-and-ends inside.

I really hope some of this stuff come with an instruction manual, somewhere. And that none of it's poisonous. Carl squinted through his glasses at a tiny dried mushroom.

“-then the other three messed the thing up pretty bad, we figured out what planet we're on, and you showed up. That’s basically it,” Brian finished.

“That’s… well, unique,” Daring said, “You seemed pretty mad when I showed up, though, what was that about?”

Brian glared at Zach. “I had bit of a shock.”

“I gotta say, you're taking it worse than I thought you would. I never thought it was a huge deal…” Zach said, cringing.

"Actually, I think everyone is taking this a bit too well." Amy said, "You almost just died, we're in cartoon-land-"

"Equestria." Daring Do and Zach corrected her at the same time. Amy swatted Zach across the top of the head before putting her hands back on his wrist.

"-I just got corrected by a tiny pegasus while trying to use magic when none of this was a thing an hour ago! I mean, come on! Can someone freak out? Can someone panic? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PRETEND THEY'RE STILL A NORMAL HUMAN BEING FOR A LITTLE BIT?!"

Amy's voice shot up an octave as she started yelling herself, leaning forward. Right onto Zach's wrist. Carl winced sympathetically as Zach vocalised his discomfort.

"OW!"

"Suck it up, you sissy," Amy snapped.

Daring Do blinked, bemused. "Is she always like this?"

Brian and Carl echoed "Yes" at the same time Zach said "No," prompting them to all look at each other for agreement. Carl quickly changed the subject.

"I'm kinda beyond the point of freaking out and came right back to normal, bro. Any luck using that magic again?" He set this now-empty belt pouches aside and went back to attempting to scrub dry blood off of his his hands. "Otherwise we should probably find a hospital or something. Does this, uh... Equestria have hospitals, dude?"

Zach nodded, looking to their Daring Do for support. "Yeah, I think so. Miss Daring Doo, ma'am?"

"If you're willing to walk about two-hundred kilometers east, yeah, I'm sure you could head to the Las Pegasus Medical Center," Daring Doo shrugged. "Other than that I recommend you get that magic going. What are you trying to do there?"

"Since I healed my brother's life-threatening injuries with magic, I'm trying to fix Zach's boo-boo. Except I've never fucking used magic before. Except I never knew real magic existed until a hour ago!" Amy threw her hands up, sitting back.

"Try crying again? You were bawling your eyes out the first time," Zach said, completely serious.

Amy punched him. Hard.

Carl had never seen someone be knocked out cold, but that was what he just watched happen and it was hilarious.

***

After the third attempt with Daring Do's coaching, the musical ringing returned, followed by the light.

"It's working! It's actually working!"

"I know, Bri! Shut up and let me concentrate! Aaaand it's gone." Amy sat back with a huff as the light and sound winked out.

"Try again. Remember, confidence is key for most forms of magic, if you don't believe it will work, it simply won't." Daring Doo's said in a soothing tone.

Carl leaned over him, grinning. "Well, it worked a bit. Hey, bro."

Zach moaned, eyes fluttering open.

"Oh, great, he's awake." Amy bit out.

"You... you knocked me out..." Zach asked groggily, trying to sit up.

Amy pushed him back down. "I'm sorry, I- shut up, I'm fixing it! Hold still!"

"She actually used magic, dude, let her try again," Carl explained, then cackled. "Bro, she knocked you the fuck out!"

Zach held still, nervous as Amy held both hands over his face. Daring Do put a wing in front of Carl and pushed him back as she coached them.

"Remember, it works. You just have to know that it works and do it."

Amy nodded, faint ringing starting again, and closed her eyes. "I understand. Ok, one, two, three... Cure Light Wounds."

The swelling on Zach's face subsided quickly and Amy floated her hands down his arm to his wrist. Zach had the most terrified expression on his face as he sat frozen, until she cracked an eye open and peeked. "Are you done? C'mon, some feedback, here!"

"Y-yeah, I'm good. How long was I out?" Zach asked.

"I'unno, two minutes?" Brian said, trying to tie his shredded, blood-soaked sleeve back with one hand. "Hey, can I get some more heals on my leg? It kicked me pretty good, too."

Daring Do nodded as Amy shifted over to her brother. "That would be smart. You four have a bit of a trot to civilization. Charon is at the end of the valley."

"Yeah, um... can you... maybe... lead the way?" Zach asked, tugging off his gloves to inspect his hands. "I mean, I don't even know where in Equestria we are."

Daring Do sighed heavily. "Probably because you aren't in Equestria, and I don't have time to babysit a bunch of lost idiots across Tambelon. I need to get to Orchid Tower before tomorrow morning, and that's the opposite direction-"

"We'll come with you!" Zach interjected, excited. "I mean, we're all kitted up as Adventurers, we won't get in the way-"

"Woah! Hold up, who put you in charge?" Brian cut him off, hauling himself to his feet. Zach jumped up as well. Carl rolled his eyes and sat back, putting on his Giant Wizard Hat and pulled the brim down over his eyes, not wanting any part of the drama.

"I happen to know quite a bit about, uh, this world! And following Daring freaking Do here on an adventure is probably the best thing we can do!"

"She's a tiny fucking horse! How is she supposed to help us do anything?! What the hell are we going to do following a tiny fucking horse through the woods?!"

"Hey! Tiny 'fucking' horse is right here!" Daring gave a flap, dislodging Carl's hat and rising to hover at their head-level.

"SHUT UP TINY HORSE!" Brian yelled, an edge of panic in his voice.

Zach stepped in between them, raising his fist. "Y-you watch your mouth! I've had enough of your hatin' shit-!"

"Or what, you faggot, you'll rainbow me?" Brian snarled.

A stick was jabbed in between them, followed shortly thereafter by an angry Amy as she rounded on her brother, and Daring Doo swooped in as well, hoof planting itself in Zach's chest and driving him back, leaving him nose to nose with the pegasus.

"Look!" Daring growled, pushing off Zach and flying above all of them, "You idiots cut this out right now and I'll cut you a deal; you guys follow me to Orchid Tower, wait outside for the night, and if you don't slow me down to much... I'll personally lead you to the Monastery. But no arguing and I'm in charge."

"Ok, yeah." Zach stepped back. "I'm ok with that deal."

Amy nodded, her branch pressed up against Brian's chest. "I'll play along, it's that or be lost in the forest. Bri?"

Brian ground his teeth, glaring down at the ground. "Carl?"

Carl started, having been staring blankly at the lot of them, bloodstained hands held up defensively. I mean, what else are we gonna do? I don't exactly have a map, here. "Umm... I'm gonna follow adventure horse, bro. Seems legit."

"I don't have much of a choice then, do I?" Brian huffed.

"Fine, come on, I've wasted enough time here as it is." Daring landed and began trotting, leaving them to scramble for their dropped or discarded gear. Carl sneexed violently as he stuffed his weird herbs and packets of powders into his bags, hiking it up around his waist as he jogged to catch up with Amy, Brian and the pegasus. Zach fell behind him as he scrambled through the leaves for his sword-sheath.

He caught up a minuite later, flushed and already sweaty, without the sheath and using his sword as a walking stick. That armor must have been heavy.

"Bro, you gonna live?" Carl asked. Zach nodded mutely.

"That's bad for your blade, mister. You should clean it before it rusts." Daring Doo called back over her shoulder. "I met a Griffon once who inherited his father's sword and he ruined it beyond repair in under a month."

"Kids these days." Amy rolled her eyes, picking up another branch to use as a hiking stick and snapping off a few twigs. "Anyone got a full waterskin?"

"Waterskin?" Zach propped his sword blade up across his shoulder, searching his belt and finding a few leather bags on the back, one corked and sealed but clearly empty. "N-no, I'm dry. I could really use a drink, though."

Daring flicked her tail. "Tough nuggets, then, unless it rains. No rivers around here, and the nearest well is in the other direction. You'll all survive a day or two."

Brian gave a weak smile, a good amount of sweat already on his forehead. "Conserve your energy, then. Could be a long day or two."

It wasn't much further until the uphill slope resolved itself into a proper cliff. Zach stopped, looking up the winding switchbacks going straight up the side and voiced his displeasure. "Oh, come on!"

"UUUUUG!" Daring Do moaned, running both hooves through her mane. "Really? the Tower is literally just at the top, it's not much farther!"

Amy leaned against a tree, stretching and fanning herself with her rolled-up robe. "I hate to point out the obvious, but you can fly. We can't."

The three boys were in considerably worse shape than Amy, all panting and sweating under their thicker layers of clothes. Carl had pulled open his wizard's robe as far as it would go and tucked his hat and bloodstained cape under his arm, plucking at his tunic. Brian had straight-up discarded half of his belts and straps and headband through the forest behind them, his black shirt stained with white sweat-dust and chubby cheeks flushed bright pink. Zach looked terrible, the best he had managed was to stuff his gloves into a pouch and loosen his breastplate and neck-guard slightly. He panted shamelessly, planting both hands against the cool stone of the cliff face.

"Look, tinyhorse..." Brian sat down, picking at the wraps around his ankles, "If it's a straight shot, you go on ahead. We'll catch up eventually, we're really not cut out for this. You said you're not going in until night."

"Yeah, don't let us slow you down." Zach rasped, mouth dry. He swallowed hard, trying to clear his throat. "S-sorry, that sounded really bad. I'm good, I swear."

Daring looked at them with a mixture of concern and aggravation. "Ok, if you say so. You'll see it as soon as you make it to the top."

With that, she hunkered down and leaped and shot skyward in a tan blur, vanishing over the top of the cliff in seconds. Amy shaded her eyes as she watched the pegasus go.

"Dayum, she fast." Carl noted.

Zach sat down, twisting the greaves around his leg to rub a sore spot where it pinched. "Pegasus have magic that let's them fly and control the weather."

"Cool story." Carl undid his belt and pulled his robe over his head, stripping to his tunic and a pair of rough brown shorts, knowing he must look ridiculous with a strip of skinny leg between them and his boots. Zach shot him an envious glare as he struggled to shift his armor to get more air flowing under it.

Brian scooted over to Zach. "Hey, you want help getting that off?"

"Please." Zach held out his arm so his friend could get at the small leather cords holding the arm-pieces on. With a bit of a struggle, they slid off the entire assembly from his shoulder-down. The sleeve under it turned out to be a exotic mix to be a mix of thick cloth, leather trim and steel mail woven in to protect the joints. It took a little longer to untie the left arm, and Carl lent a hand to release the shoulder, chest and back plates to free him. Zach sighed in relief, undoing the collar of his padded doublet to cool himself.

"Ok, we should probably roll out. It would be a little dumb if we got left out after dark." Brian finished tying the pieces of armor together with the last of his straps into an improvised backpack, indicating to Zach he should turn around so he could secure it to his back.

Carl rose wordlessly, tying his rolled-up wizard robe round his waist by the sleeves and putting the giant hat back on his head, and starting slowly up the steep path. The others followed. The longest journey and all that shit... I am gonna hate life tomorrow. Or this is a nightmare and I wake up. That'd be sweet.

They were silent for a bit, focused on their footing. The path was wide but rough, with loose patches of rocks and thick roots of the odd tree growing out the side. Brian broke the silence as they trudged. "So, uh... I was thinking-"

"You can think?"

"C'mon, Amy, please. Zach... you know quite a bit about his world, right?" Brian asked. Carl glanced over his shoulder to where they trailed behind him, interested in where Brian's questions would be going.

"Y-yeah, more or less. What did you need?"

Carl skirted a particularly large boulder cautiously as Brian went where he thought he might. "Well, since magic is a thing now... like, how's it work?"

Zach fell silent for a bit, as Carl's head spun with the possibilities. If Amy could Cure Light Wounds, then he should at least be able to-

"Well... show canon was pretty vague. It is treated as more of a science here, but there seems to be a lot of different flavors. All three of the pony races use it differently, Amy's stuff actually kinda looked and sounded like Unicorn magic. Y'know, with the light and sound. Unicorns can explicitly cast spells related to their talents."

Brian snorted derisively. "There are freakin' unicorns too? What else? Mer-ponies?"

"Earth Ponies. No wings or horn." Zach said, sounding like he was trying to instruct a child.

"Sounds like a bit of a handycap, bro," Carl called back, "Your buddies can fly or use magic, you can... I'dunno?"

Zach sighed. "You'd be kind of right, but Earth Ponies seem to have a physical or will advantage over the other races in everything that's not flying or moving things with your mind. Officially, they have a 'stronger connection to the Earth.' Most of my favorite ponies are Earth Ponies."

So, a race of horsey Captain Americas? Carl thought, trying not to giggle at the thought of a star-spangled pony.

"Anyway," Brian interjected, "back on the subject; magic. If Amy can cast Cleric spells, logically... Carl should be able to cast his Wizard spells. Tinyhorse Prime was able to walk her through the basics, do you think we'd be able to get Carl spun up on the whole magic thing? A Wizard would be hella useful."

Carl stopped at the wide part of a switchback turn, sitting on a boulder and tugging off a boot to shake out a rock and explain the problem with that line of thought. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense, but I don't have a spellbook, dude. No way to know what spells I have prepped."

"You do, actually." Amy stopped as well, kneeling down and wincing. Her boots had a significant raised heel, and it was making for hard going across the rocks.

Everyone stopped to watch as she summoned the glowing light to heal her ankle, fascinated. Amy stood again, testing out the leg. "Huh, works pretty good. No idea how many of my per-days I'm going through, but worth it. Yeah, Carl, your book is a spellbook. It flew open when you were swinging it around, lots of weird text on the inside."

"Really?!" Carl twisted around, unclasping his largest bag and pulling out the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook and tearing it open, then blinked as he saw a lot of very small font and no words he understood. "Oh. Shit."

"What?" Zach asked tiredly.

"Magic is complicated. There's like... Christ on a tricycle, it's like, six pages to cast a freaking Magic Missile! I can't even say half these words! Den-dustria saggy-what? Dude." Carl whined, flicking back a few pages in a search for some English. He found it, but still talking about things never even heard of. Thauma node alignment? Is that a real word?

Brian shrugged. "Guess that's why all the good wizards have eighteen Intelligence. Probably worth it, though."

Carl snapped the book shut, glaring at Brian's little smirk. "Save your breath, smartass, and get hiking. I'll figure it out eventually."

Amy groaned as she pulled herself up her walking stick to her feet again and started after her brother. Carl took a moment to look out, away from the switchback and over the very tops of the trees to see the shallow valley they had first arrived it.

For just a moment, then, he felt his heart lift as he saw the incredible view of the forested hills and the red sun just above the horizon.

This was already the experience of a lifetime. Maybe he didn't want it to be another weird Red Bull dream.

If he survived the hike.

To Be Continued in Chapter 3: In Convenience

Author's Note

Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed To Do In RPGs #517: I cannot make called shots to their self esteem.

So, I had to establish things from a stable perspective, but the viewpoint will steadily and consistently change between chapters. 'Cause I'm a noob like that and tricked myself into thinking that works. Miss Alpha Snarky 1 is up next.