Kentucky Derpy

Alright Ditzellia, keep a cool head and look around, she thought to herself. You are clearly in a strange place, with a strange people, Whatever the case, that table says official on it, maybe they know what's going on. She flew up and over the dirt track, making her way to the place where the judges were, and couldn't help but cringe at the angry and shocked buzz from the crowd as she did so.

The person that stood and looked at her, probably male, for it had a rather fine looking mustache and clothing that suggested a gentlestallion of fairly important status. "Remarkable," he muttered in a baritone voice as he swiped his top hat down, exposing a balding mane line. "A flying equine. Never, have you ever men?"

The rest of the, men, all harrumphed and nodded in agreement that they'd never seen a sight like this. "Why, this horse is wearing goggles and can fly, this clearly isn't some kind of a prank. Someone check her over, maybe her owner had let her loose on the track."

"I don't have an owner," Derpy said with a frown. "But I am lost, can you tell me where I am?" The 'men' as they called themselves, seemed unflappable until the moment she had spoken. It was at that moment, that out of the half dozen people at the official's table, four of them had simply passed out. Including the one she was trying to talk to. "Humph, big help," she muttered before hovering down the line. "You, gentle...man," she said with a frown. "What is going on here?"

That was the last thing that was somewhat normal in this topsy turvy world. Everything in a moment, was a whir of flash bulbs, microphones and men carrying these things along with notepads as they rushed the area around her. The men in the suits had rushed her so closely that she couldn't escape, her wings had been forced in and she was grounded too quickly too be able to react properly.

No, please, oh Celestia, oh Luna, oh please! Let them go away, she thought to herself. "Stop," she muttered aloud, only to be even more tightly surrounded. The crowd was pressing down on her, yelling questions too quickly, shoving microphones in her face and blinding her with too many flashbulbs to count as her picture was taken enough times to make her feel sick from the strobing effect.

The last thing she said before fainting was "I just wanna go home."

Darkness swam around her, and the dream that came with her faint was a devoid of substance, and featured only the floating faces of the strange creatures that had surrounded her. Who knew for how long the dream was, hours or years. For her, it felt like an eternity before she awoke in a cold sweat.

The first thing she noticed was that wherever she was, contained a smell. Not too different than that of an outhouse. The odor was offensive to her nostrils, and she reacted with a groan as she adjusted herself. Where am I? She wondered to herself as she began to look around.

Her goggles had at some point during her leave of reality had disappeared, leaving her wall eyes exposed to the world to show her a double vision of everything. After taking a moment to look around, it didn't take her too long to discover that she was in some sort of a cell. Am I a prisoner, she idly thought to herself as she stood up. The floor she had been sleeping on was covered in hay, there was a closed door to her right, and a trough of water next to a bale of fresh hay.

She tried again to take a deep breath, only to gag. The smell of an outhouse mixed with hay and dirt was far too strong, and she nearly gagged when she saw that somepony had relieved themselves in a corner of her cell, who knows how long ago. "I've had enough of this," she muttered. "GUARD!" She shouted out, "GUARD! Let me out of here, I have rights!"

The sound of something shouting in surprise was followed quickly by a loud thump and groan of pain. Derpy stood upright and flared her wings with the best scowl she could manage on her face as the upper part of the split door opened before her. From out the sliver of a crack in the door, a small, dark face appeared. "Hello in there?"

"Yes, you," Derpy said with a commanding stance. "Guard, this prison cell isn't fit for anypony, I demand to speak with whoever is in charge here!"

The man that stood behind the door opened it the rest of the way. He was different than anyone else that she'd seen so far. Whereas the men that filled the stadium, at least the ones that she had briefly saw and talked to, were all light in color and had some sort of facial hair. This one was clean shaven and dark brown in color, and reminded her of a chocolate bar, or a cup of coffee with only the slightest amount of cream within.

Derpy looked him over, and frowned at his lack of uniform, other than what appeared to be a boiler suit. The other thing she noticed was the large hay fork he carried in one of his claws. "This room is a mess," Derpy said as she continued to glare at him. "Somepony has used the floor as a restroom!"

The man dropped his hay fork immediately and took a step back. "You do talk," he said in a mutter as he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his brow. "Never, did I have a horse talk to me." He looked at Derpy with curriousity for a few moments of silence before leaning over the lower door.

"Thomas! What's going on in there?" the sound of another door closing not too far off alarmed Derpy slightly, and she quickly fanned her wings out and got in a defensive position. That's when she saw a portly and pale man enter the open half of the doorway and smile brightly. "Ah, she is awake. Thomas, you may go now." The darker man simply nodded before muttering "yes'sir," and shuffled off to find something else to occupy his time.

He smiled at Derpy and opened the door the rest of the way before holding a carrot out to her. "Come on out girl, I've got a nice carrot for you."

Derpy looked at him and wondered if he'd been kicked in the head recently. Finally after a few moments thought she gave a shrug with her wings and folded them in, but kept her stance low, as she exited the stable door. She walked passed the man and scrunched up her face in disgust. "What do you want me to do with a carrot?"

"Ah, you can talk. Uh, well. Um..." He looked at the carrot lamely and put it down in a small bin next to the door. "I'm not sure really, typical horses usually love it when I bring them a carrot or something."

Derpy looked at the man with a confused frown as she started to trot to the open door. "That's nice, now if you'll excuse me, I want to go home.

"Perhaps you would be more interested in this then?" The man shouted suddenly. Derpy turned around and saw that he was waiving a newspaper, and her picture was on the front page. "You made Ink yesterday, first time a flying horse ever appears out of thin air, not to mention interrupts one of America's greatest races," he said it with almost an air of disinterest as he looked at the paper himself. "And it says here that they want this strange flying pony should be in the re-race since the one she interrupted was declared a no contest."

Derpy stood still for a few moments in thought, and had come to a few rather quick conclusions, Alright, one, this guy is trying to get me to do what he wants. Two, it must be a Tuesday, everything weird seems to start on Tuesdays, three I'm in some kinda different world of some sort, and it probably was what that weird humming and lights was that I'd run into. Four, and most importantly, I'm sure that this is somehow Twilight's fault. She'll probably be able to bring me back to reality. "Alright, let's talk money."

"Straight from the horses mouth," the man said with a chuckle as he passed the paper down to her. "If you'll follow me to my office, we can begin."

After walking to a big house across the property, Ditzy Doo and the man, John Kent, quickly discussed how she was going to be in a race next week, and how she was an easy win, and could make a fortune for doing so. Scientists were brought into the room, along with a few members of the press, and despite the fact that she didn't really understand much of what was going on, she had played along with them anyway, but refused to sign anything, or even give her name to anyone.

For most ponies, or even people, how she acted would have seemed either very business savvy or just plain stupid. The way that she viewed it was that it didn't simply matter, because any minute now, Twilight or Princes Celestia or Luna even might come and save her from this crazy world where bald apes were the masters of the world.

Three hours later, it still wasn't the case as she was being shown a plush bedroom. Two more hours later it still wasn't the case as she flew circles over a dirt track as all the men that had been in the office earlier watched and made notes and timed her laps. Finally, after everything was set, and Derpy was well worn and tired out from the confusing day things began to fall together in her mind that she might be stuck there for a while longer than she wanted.

Finally, after being run ragged, and smiling for too many pictures and listening to men talking too much about how fantastic she was, Derpy was standing by Mister Kent, Thomas, the two men from the press, and the scientist that was still trying to figure out how she flew with such small wings. "Excuse me, Mister Kent?"

"Hmm, yes?" he said with mild interest as he turned away from the man from the committee that he was talking with. "What do you need?"

"I want to go to bed sir," Derpy said with a yawn. "I feel like my wings are gonna fall off."

"Oh, erm, yes," Kent said with a nervousness as the others stared at him. "Very good, why it is rather late isn't it?" Ditzy didn't say anything, but rather opted to stare at him blankly. "Yes, well, goodnight then miss."

Ditzy muttered a likewise statement before shutting the door and leaving Mr. Kent alone with the other men. "Well," one of them said as the group began to leave, "do you suppose that she'll be fit to race?"

"Naturally," Kent said with a smile, "the only thing we need to worry about now is if the judges will fall into the public's demand to include her in the race."

"Leave that to me," a shady looking man said in the back of the party as they headed for the front door. "The committee members have been frothing at the mouth to see what she's capable of ever since the first time she'd appeared. If anything, today has proven that she is a contender and not a guaranteed win or lose."

"Yes, but only if they bound up the wings," a scientist said with a frown. "She might be too good if we let her fly."

"Well it remains to be seen," John said with a smile.