chapter 3 infinite power infinite boredom

Chapter three infinite power, infinite boredom

Saitama pov

Things had calmed down in ponyville sadly, no monsters had attacked and my monthly check from the crown felt undeserved. But whatever if she was gonna send me 500 bits a month then so be it, I also found out 500 bits a month is insane. I could probably live off that for six months if I was careful.

Now he needed something to quell his boredom, he can’t just go around fighting people and training has no value these days. So he decided to talk to twilight about finding something to do.

“so your telling me that your bored and you want to have a practice duel with me?” she said flabbergasted. “I don’t have time for that I’m busy studying.

“Oh come on it might be fun, you must get bored staying in that tree all day and you probably need some exercise.” I said.

“If I do this stupid duel will you leave me alone?” she asked.

“sure.” I responded.

“Ok fine, ask princess celestia if she can send down an official duel referee, I would hate to injury this stallion.” She said giving me a cocky grin.

“When should I expect the duel to happen?” I asked her while she began pulling out hundreds of books at one time and trapping herself in a ball of books.

“Tonight probably.” Came a muffled voice from the ball.
So I left her to do her thing already feeling excited about the duel already.
After walking around and doing nothing I decided to read more manga.

Twilight pov

That hairless ape challenged princess celestias prodigy to a duel, there is no way you can lose to him twilight. Sure he defeated nightmare moon and a dragon but you could do all those things blind folded. You were wildly researching combat spells against bipedal creatures, mostly ice and lightning spells.
Spike got the letter back and began to read it out loud.

“Dear twilight, even though I disagree with this duel I will come referee it myself just so nopony gets hurt.” He finished reading.

“how could she disagree, im her only pupil and one of the best magic users in Canterlot, its not like he could do anything to fight back!”

“Twilight you do remember the part where he killed nightmare moon, in one hit?” spike said

“Well yeah but she must have been week after her imprisonment, no way he could have killed her if she was at full strength.” She said.

“Whatever” spike said and walked off.

Saitama pov

While you were reading a manga that reminded you of one you read as a kid you heard a knock at your door. It was the landlord and he brought twilights purple dragon. It was pretty dark so you figured it was time for the duel.

“Hey saitama, it’s time to for the duel” the dragon said.

“Ok cool.” I set my manga down and followed him out the door locking it behind me.

“I wanted to let you know saitama but the betting odds aren’t in your favor.” He said as we walked

“That’s cool, more to win I guess.” I told him

“You know contestants can’t bet right?” he said to me.

“Crap, well who are you betting on?” I asked

“You of course, your strong” he said “way stronger than twilight could hope to be anymore.”

“what’s that supposed to mean, what happened to her?”

“Well I secretly write to celestia about twilights mental state so we keep in touch, anyway celestia had planed to activate the elements of harmony use twilight and those other ponies but your arrival kinda messed up her plan.”

“Oh well, it’s not like I can’t do whatever they did.” I said

“Are you sure you can beat anypony that comes your way?” he looked up to me with a nervous look

“Yeah don’t worry about that, back home I could defeat any enemy with a single punch.” I looked up at the sky “I even defeated an alien invader not too long ago.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah he was a pretty strong guy, Hey I’m gonna be right back” I said and ran back to the apartment and grabbed a bag full of bits and caught up to spike. “Can you add this to your bet, then we can split the winnings” I told him

“Sure I’ll do it, but since you can’t enter were gonna split it 50/50 no matter how much is in here.”

“That sounds fair to me.” I said as we approached a large quickly built arena. “So how often does a duel happen around here?” I asked him and we went in.

“Duels rarely happen even in Canterlot, it seems to hurt your statues when you fight somepony.” He answered.

“Well that makes sense but I don’t care about that, I’m just bored. Anyway you got take your seat and I’ll make your rich.” I said and walked over to the empty bench on the side opposite to twilight.

A booming voice silenced the crowd “citizens of equestria! Welcome to the first really magic duel in decades, in the first corner twilight sparkle the prodigy of princess celestia herself!” the crowd cheered and a few boos were heard but twilight didn’t seem to care about that. “And in the second corner, the stallion who defeated nightmare moon and saved all of equestria saitama the hero!” I mostly got boos but a few ponies cheered me on.

A bright flash and celestia appeared between me and twilight. “Now do I need to go over the rules?” celestia said.

“Yeah that would be cool.” I told her.

“Rule number one, no lethal spells, this includes spells of such a magnitude they could severely injure the crowd or the contestant.”

“Rule number two, do not use your horns to impale one another.” I nodded even though these didn’t apply to me at all. “And for this match a special rule will be in place on saitama only” I looked at twilight who seemed pleased with what celestia said. “Rule number three, saitama do not kill my disciple no matter what she throws at you.” She glared at me and twilight seemed offended.

“Now when I give the signal you may begin” celestia said.

“I’m going to turn you into paste!” twilight said just out of ear shot of celestia.

“NOW BEGIN!” she yelled.

Immediately twilight unleashed a hail of spells on to me, clearly not caring about who or what was behind me because if celestia hadn’t thrown up a shield at the last second the crowd would be dead. Her onslaught didn’t last long but damn it did damage to everything but me.
I looked over to celestia who was massaging her temple at the poor display.

“Winner by disqualification is, SAITAMA!” celestia called out to the crowd.

“w- What why, why would you do that celestia!” twilight cried out.

“Because you used force that would have killed half the crowd behind him, and you failed to even scratch your opponent, he clearly out powers you by astronomical numbers.”

The crowd went wild, ponies demanding money back and proof of how strong I am. Celestia said she could prove how strong I was.
She whispered into my ear. “Ok I’m going to throw you at the moon, when you come back land somewhere in the forest or outside of the arena I wouldn’t want anypony to get hurt.” I nodded even though I really didn’t like going to the moon.

So she threw me at the moon and as I was flying towards the rock I noticed a large metal object moving ever so slowly towards the planet. But before I could get a better look I hit the moon, after getting up I could see that it was indeed a ship. It looked familiar. So I made my jump back, bursting through the atmosphere lighting up the dark sky and landing just outside of town. I walked back towards the arena to see the crowd shell-shocked by the display.

I whispered to celestia “we have a problem, there are aliens coming.” I told her.

“I know that’s the reason I threw you the way I did, can you defeat them?” she asked.

“Well, I’ll leave that to tomorrow’s me are you going to let them on the planet or do you have a way of getting me there?”

“I can teleport you there but you’re going to have to get yourself back, take the first train to Canterlot tomorrow.” She gave me slip of paper.

“The guards will understand when they see the paper but the citizen’s will most likely panic so try to avoid them as much as possible”

“Got it, how serious is this threat?” I asked

“If you don’t stop them the planet will be destroyed, I’ve already gotten communication from them and they say if we don’t have information on something called boros they will destroy us and if we have the information they will destroy us still."

Alien’s leader pov

Your father was killed by a single man and you were going to avenge him, through genetic modification your power dwarfed even his by entire galaxies worth of power.

A transmission came in from home world, they had finished piecing together some images of the person who killed father. Before the ship crashed someone sent out as much data as they could, more like a warning than information.

It was a creature in some kind of yellow and red suit. The sight of that creature made your blood boil, this simple creature killed your father and his best warriors.

“Prepare to make a jump towards the planet my father died on” you said over an intercom.

“Sire, we received communication from the planet below us, they claim that they have a warrior and that he will arrive sometime tomorrow.”

“they dare send a warrior when they have no information on my father?” im going to destroy this planet when im done with him.

“Actually we are receiving another transmission, it has a video feed.”

“Put it on the monitor.” I commanded

“Greetings, I am princess celestia.” A talking white horse thing appeared on the screen.

I couldn’t help but chuckle as she continued talking

“im going to send a warrior to your ship, if you can defeat him do with the planet as you wish, but if he defeats you, will you leave?” she asked me.

“no, because he wont win.” I told her.

“Fine, but until the fight is over do not make it apparent to the citizens of this planet you’re here.” She said “they are not ready to know that the cosmos is filled with other creatures, my ponies haven’t even gone past steam power.”

“fine.” I said and the communication cut off.

Celestia pov

You let out a sigh of relief as you let down the spell you used to communicate with the aliens. If saitama can’t beat them it’s all over.
You also realized that it’s time to industrialize equestria, if equestria can defend itself against threats like this then how will it survive.
Just in case you send letters to the best magic users in the kingdom to meet in Canterlot tomorrow.

Saitama pov; the next day

After the duel you met with a spike who looked cheated and a twilight who couldn’t been happy no matter how much money she had behind her.

“Here, you’re not getting your fifty percent because you cheated during the duel” she said and threw me a small bag of money.
I counted it out and only found about fifteen bits.

“Yeah no this isn’t going to work I made a deal with spike 50/50”

“Well that’s too bad because spike being a minor can’t make bets or claim winnings by equestrian law, so I had to take it.”

“I’m still getting my fifty percent, if not the money I gave him to begin with.” I told her

“You don’t deserve it because you’re a filthy cheating crook!”

A crowd was starting to gather.

“Twilight don’t embrace yourself, because whether you like it or not I’m leaving with my half.” I told her. “Does anyone here think she deserves a single bit, sure spike didn’t know the law but he made the bet and won it. As far as I can see I’m due my payment.” Most of them agreed with me.

“Twilight just give him his half that would be the honest and easy thing to do here” an orange mare I remembered as applejacks said

“Be quiet mud pony, nopony was talking to you!”

That sounded racist you thought

“Twilight you need to calm down.” I told her.

“NO, you need to leave this town your monster!” she yelled.

“I don’t have time to deal with this, I’m taking my money and if you try and stop me im going to take it all.” I glared at her.

“Just tr-“she stopped and realized I was already walking away with my half “how did you do that!” she yelled as I walked back home.
Once I got there I gave landlord bro the rest of the years rent so I wouldn’t have to deal with it and went into my apartment. Making some quick dinner while reading manga. But something felt kinda off, like Genos was watching him.

Genos pov

“Professor did you find him yet?” Genos asked wanting to find his master as soon as possible.

“Yes, but he is very far away, he is so far that modern technology can’t even see him” the professor said. “But using this crystal ball you borrowed from the hero association I was able to construct a device to see through time and space, you can look though if you want.”

I looked through the professor’s device and there he was, my master was making dinner while reading manga.

“Professor, he seems to have found comfort wherever he is do you think he will want to come back?” I asked DR. Kuseno.

“Probably, but who knows maybe that worlds needs protecting more than ours.” He said. “There hasn’t been a monster attack since he left.”

“I know but something big is going to happen soon, and I know we will need master’s help to stop it.” An idea came into mind. “Professor you said you were working on a way to replicate his teleportation like speed, right?”

“Yes, but what are you thinkinh Genos?” the professor asked.

“What if we went to go visit master using the crystal ball as a type of portal?”

“Genos you know I can-“he froze for a minute. “Your right, that could work, but it would only work once because the ball would be destroyed on use.” He said
“Was is really worth it?” you thought to yourself.

“But, there is a chance we can find another crystal ball wherever he is.” The professor thought. “Genos do you really want to do this, take the possibility of leaving the world behind; to leave the cyborg who destroyed your home town behind just for the sake of one man?”

“If I don’t go then the earth is surely doomed, for the sake of the earth and for the sake of hunting down that cyborg we must bring master home. No matter what it takes.”

“Alright, I’ll go see the landlord about leaving for a while.” Professor said “im gonna need to decide what type of equipment I’m going to need to bring.”

“Wait your coming with me?” I asked him.

“Of course, saitama can’t put you back together if you get hurt again can he?”

“Thanks professor, I’ll always be able to count on you won’t I?” I said

“That’s right Genos, for better or for worse we are going to find that cyborg even if we have to go across the universe to get your master.” He said and walked off.

Saitama pov, the next day.

Today was the day, the day that I would probably kill everything on the ship in one punch and be perfectly fine. I got up a bit too early and it was still dark out. So i decided to take a jog. Looking up towards the moon I noticed the large crater from yesterday’s events. “If only twilight had been able to put up a real fight.” I thought to myself.

After a while I went back home and to take a shower and eat. A hero can’t fight on an empty stomach.
I finished my meal with the feeling that I was being watched, I was starting to wonder if I was being stalked. So before I left I counted up all the money I had and put it under my bed so I knew how much I had when I got back.
I left the apartment with enough money for a train ticket and a bit of food money just in case. As usual the ponies stared at me and my suit but I couldn’t care less I had business to do.

I gave the guy the ticket money and he handed me my ticket, I got on the train and sat in the first seat to my left. After a few minutes the train started up and made its way towards Canterlot. It was nothing compared to a bullet train but it was better than walking. After a few minutes another pony entered the car. It was twilight and spike.

“Yo, spike what’s up?” I asked him. He a look of disappointment soon spread across his face a as twilight sat in front of me.

“What is a freak like you going to Canterlot for?” she spat.

“Celestia said it was an emergency so I came, after all she is paying me to protect equestria.” I said.

“You don’t deserve to protect equestria, it should be me!” her voice rising.

“Listen I don’t want any trouble, I just want to get this over with so I can go back home.” I told her

She sat quietly for a moment and said “so do you know what’s happening, she didn’t tell me anything.”

“Aliens, and I’m pretty sure I’ve run into their kind before.” I told her.

“Really, how am I supposed to believe that?”

“Well, aren’t I technically an alien here?” I asked her.

She didn’t have a response for that. “So why does she want you to come, it’s not like you can use magic or anything.”

“I’m the front line, she is going to teleport me onto the ship and I’ll start punching stuff.” I told her while looking at the approaching city.

“You really think that’s all it will take? Don’t make me laugh!” she exclaimed.

“Hey, it worked the first time so I might as well and I’ve had the feeling I was being watched so decided to do something to get out of the apartment.”

“So you’re telling me you fought and beat a group of aliens like the ones up there?” she said pointed towards the sky.

“Yeah it was easy really, the only one that could somewhat fight was boros but he still went down pretty easy.”

“Whatever, I’m going back to my car, spike come on” twilight commanded the dragon.

“Can I ask saitama some things about his world first, it sounds cool.” He asked her with pleading eyes.

“No, now come on!” she yelled and grabbed him with her magic.

A moment later the car I was in seemed to be slowing down, but when I looked out of the window I saw the train was still going. So I opened the door to the car ahead of me and found that the trains had been separated completely. I looked at the other half of the train and saw twilight laughing at me

“That’s what you get for cheating BALDY!” she yelled, she is lucky i swore to protect equestria because that was an insult of the highest caliber.

I jumped on top of the train car and realized I was in the caboose so I had nothing to worry about. I went to the back of car for a running start. I took a sprinting stance and ran to the other end of the car leaping off of in towards the train. In mere seconds I had landed in the middle of the train leaving a large dent in its roof. We were at the base of the mountain now so I decided to get there ahead of schedule and leaped all the way into what I assumed was the castle.

I crashed through I large window and landed in the throne room, causing instantaneous panic among the ponies there. A guard pointed a spear at me but was stopped by celestia.

“Hold your positions!” celestia commanded her guards.

“Princess he broke into the throne room he must be here to hurt you!” a white stallion in armor exclaimed with utmost certainty.

“I don’t know why saitama entered this way but surely he can explain, aren’t you going to give him the chance?” she asked him. He seemed reluctant but said

“Why did you burst in here like that, hero saitama?” he asked me

“Well, celestias prodigy felt the need to disconnect the caboose I was riding in. thankfully I had time to jump from the car to the main body of the train.” I told him “I then proceeded to jump from the train to what I guess was the castle, and it looks like I was right.”

“Did my sister really do that?” he asked.

“Yeah I’m afraid are little duel still has her mad.” I told him.

“I see, I will speak to her upon her arrival.” He said and left the room.

I looked towards celestia and asked “so when do I need to go up there?”

“It’s going to be a while, the last of the unicorns should be on the train you were one.” She said

“Ok, so is there going to a big briefing or something when they get here?” I asked while looking at a stained glass mirror of me defeating nightmare moon, minus the blood of course.

“Why is there anything you need?”

“Some tea during the briefing would be nice.” I told her.

“That’s doable, what kind would you prefer?” she asked bringing out some paper and quill.

“Just some green tea if you can manage, I can only find it at the markets at the end of the month and by the time I get there someone buys most of it.”

“I see, well I’ll have some prepared for the briefing and a special order sent to your home.” She said

“You don’t have to do that, it’s just tea I can live without it.” I told her.

“Nonsense, sustenance is a basic right and it should always be enjoyed so I feel the need to help you acquire your tea.” She said with a warm smile.

“Thanks, I don’t know how to repay you.” I told her.

“Just do good out there today, now run along you can explore the castle and I’ll have somepony come for you later.” She told me

Sometime later

After a while of walking around a maid pony told you found you and led you to a briefing room. When you got there a bunch of unicorns and celestia were sitting around a large table. It reminded you of the one at the hero HQ, so you sat down were you would have it you were back on earth.

As you sat down some green tea was brought to you by a maid, and the door to the room vanished. Leaving you in near darkness.

“Alright” celestia said to gain everyone’s attention. “What we have here is a threat of unforeseen proportions, we only have two plans to deal with such an event and one of them just arrived.” She said looking towards me. She used a spell to make a diagram of the ship above the table.

One of the unicorns spoke up “I understand that they are aliens but what if they are friendly?” she asked

“I made contact with them, they said they stopped by our planet to consume it and convert it into fuel. If we do not win today the planet is doomed.” She said making everyone realize the weight of the situation.

“Our first course of action is to send saitama here onto the ship, I believe that he can handle the threat but on the off chance he can’t we are going to use a new spell I’ve been developing to destroy the ship.”

“What does the spell do?” asked a pink alicorn seated next to her.

“It will consume my life essence and convert it into pure energy, hopefully destroying the aliens.” She said.
The room went silent.

“Well if that’s all I think it’s time to get started.” I said to the group.

“What do you ‘if that’s all’ we are talking about the entire planet here what if we don’t succeed and the planet is destroyed?!” twilight yelled at me.

“The planet won’t be destroyed, because I going to go up there and kill every last alien in that ship, even if this might not be my true home I’m going to defend it as if it were my birth place.” I said standing up “I will wipe out every force that sees to cause harm to my or any other creature’s way of life.”

I looked at celestia “let go, these aliens better put up a fight.” I said.

At the designated hero launch pad or the D.H.L.P for short

“If you’re not back by nine o’clock we are going to use the spell.” She looked at me.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to miss out on free tea would I?” I said to her

She began to charge up a spell that enveloped me in a yellow glow, after a moment I saw a bright flash and then the eyes of an alien, who I promptly killed. Alarms began sounding and started punching holes in stuff, just like I did on boros’ ship.

“Intruder! Are you the warrior that the horse spoke of?” a voice came into my head.

“Yes” I said out loud.

“Good, I’m uploading directions to an arena into your brain. Please follow them.”

“No, if you want to fight come get me” I said as I punch a massive hole into the wall and many rooms beyond it.

“What, but I thought you wanted to fight?!” the voice said

“I do, but I’m also here to do my job so come get me or wait for me to get you I’ll be there soon anyway.”

Another voice cam over the loudspeaker “are you a human foul creature?” it asked me

“Yes, I am” I told the voice.

“Did you kill someone named boros?”

“Yes, he was weak.” I told the voice.

Suddenly a massive explosion came from deeper in the ship accompanied by a voice I heard not in my head, but in my bones. “I’m coming for you human.” It said

I began punching my way towards the voice killing hundreds of aliens in the process. Soon I came face to face with a near perfect copy of boros, except he was bright pink and had full rainbow hair.

“Before we begin, let us exchange names warrior.” He said “my name is cock sucking faggot, what is yours?” he said

“Can you repeat your name I didn’t quite catch it?”

“It’s cock sucking faggot now tell me yours!” he yelled

“Until you tell me your real name I’m not telling you mine, because that is bullshit.”

“That is my real name!” he let out an effeminate cry and slammed his pink fist into me, sending me through multiple floors before grabbing me and throwing me back up the hole and shooting a rainbow colored energy beam that bounced off of me and damage the area of the ship we were in severely.

Before he could fire another beam of energy I punched him in the stomach sending him flying and shattering his armor.

“You destroyed my armor, that armor sealed my infinite lust for dick and faggotry.” He said as a massive beam of gay pride washed over me doing nothing.

“I’m going to destroy you and when I’m done, I’m going to have sex with every male crew member on this ship!” he yelled.
In the distance I heard muffled screams of terror and people telling me not to lose.
So after a few minutes of him bashing me around and destroying most of his ship he seems to have calmed down for now.

“Why won’t you die?!” he asked through shallow breaths.

“Because you’re weak” I told him.

He leaped at me but this time I was done messing around.

“Super serious move set: serious punch!” I punched him square in the face, not only atomizing him but most of the ship behind him as well. The hole I opened up began pulling me and countless people out of it but I held my breath and waited for the affect to fade.Once it was gone I made my way outside of the ship and using it as a jumping surface I launch myself back towards the planet, landing on top of the mountain Canterlot resided on. After making my way down towards were celestia and the unicorns were standing I looked up and noticed that the ship was beginning to explode in certain areas, lighting up the now darkening sky.

“Well, that’s that.” I said to celestia and went to catch the next train home.

Author's Note

ok fags, i wrote this chapter because its marks the end of season one in this timeline(this chapter is literally filler garbage on top of this garbage story). saitama has no reason to go to any of the events that would happen and all of the events that could have resulted in loss of life are covered for i believe(or so the wiki tells me) so ill start off with season two premiere soon enough. should be out in like a week or something. also fucking website is broken as fuck because i cant upload from Microsoft word and copy and past breaks the format i had said up, so anything set in the middle will be offset.